Advice to self

For months now I’ve been talking to this guy and feel like we could be a solid couple. We share so many things in common and can laugh and joke around easily. Problem is he runs hot and cold often, just when things are so easy and we are finding more and more to talk about and decide it’s time to meet, he goes ice cold and finds an excuse to not. This has happened 3 times now, he’s says he’s a confident person and he’s shared many pictures of himself and his kids.

I don’t get it, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. I’m not sure what or why he’s holding back. I’ve done some stalking and he is single and doesn’t appear to have anyone in his life. A couple times when I’m on the truth juice (drunk) I’ve confidently said way too much about my intentions and/or referred to our connection as a lifetime partnership. It’s what I’d want from this. For instance, I’ve asked him do I scare him? He says he only dates confident woman. To that I said, you’re only dating one more. He lol’ed.

He seems fine and eagerly chats as normal for a couple days And reaches out to me first... and then goes cold, leaving me bewildered!

What should I do with that? I’m tired of being a pen-friend, I want to meet to see once and for all if there is a real connection and only a meeting will determine that, I have been so patient and waited for him to suggest we meet and then he does and gets excited about it, it excites me....but then I wait and wait for when/where and he doesn’t follow through with any plans. This last time, he was run down and not feeling well... 🙄

Posted by sweethearts

For months now I’ve been talking to this guy and feel like we could be a solid couple. We share so many things in common and can laugh and joke around easily. Problem is he runs hot and cold often, just when things are so easy and we are finding more and more to talk about and decide it’s time to meet, he goes ice cold and finds an excuse to not. This has happened 3 times now, he’s says he’s a confident person and he’s shared many pictures of himself and his kids.

I don’t get it, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. I’m not sure what or why he’s holding back. I’ve done some stalking and he is single and doesn’t appear to have anyone in his life. A couple times when I’m on the truth juice (drunk) I’ve confidently said way too much about my intentions and/or referred to our connection as a lifetime partnership. It’s what I’d want from this. For instance, I’ve asked him do I scare him? He says he only dates confident woman. To that I said, you’re only dating one more. He lol’ed.

He seems fine and eagerly chats as normal for a couple days And reaches out to me first... and then goes cold, leaving me bewildered!

What should I do with that? I’m tired of being a pen-friend, I want to meet to see once and for all if there is a real connection and only a meeting will determine that, I have been so patient and waited for him to suggest we meet and then he does and gets excited about it, it excites me....but then I wait and wait for when/where and he doesn’t follow through with any plans. This last time, he was run down and not feeling well... 🙄

He’s lonely too and loves the attention and banter but he’s not where you’re at and could be a long way off it. He’s making no effort to see you or be with you and you are most likely going to still be here waiting for many many months more on your roller coaster of emotions and could potentially miss meeting someone else, move on and stop reaching out to him.

Remember one of your favourite saying... if you love someone, set them free, if they come back they’re yours, if they don’t they never were.

did you just give yourself adivse? lol

Nevermind i re-read the title. you did

Posted by justagirl

did you just give yourself adivse? lol

Nevermind i re-read the title. you did

Yes, I think I give good advice lol and needed someone to set me straight 😉

Think others could do the same!

Posted by Caplove

Maybe he's not at a point in his life where he's really ready.

That’s part of my conclusions ... but I am and can’t wait any longer

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by justagirl

did you just give yourself adivse? lol

Nevermind i re-read the title. you did

Yes, I think I give good advice lol and needed someone to set me straight 😉

Think others could do the same!

click to expand

You didn't even give anyone a chance to give any advise LOLOL

My adivse is don't waste you time on someone that isn't ready or willing to invest the same level you are.

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by sweethearts

For months now I’ve been talking to this guy and feel like we could be a solid couple. We share so many things in common and can laugh and joke around easily. Problem is he runs hot and cold often, just when things are so easy and we are finding more and more to talk about and decide it’s time to meet, he goes ice cold and finds an excuse to not. This has happened 3 times now, he’s says he’s a confident person and he’s shared many pictures of himself and his kids.

I don’t get it, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. I’m not sure what or why he’s holding back. I’ve done some stalking and he is single and doesn’t appear to have anyone in his life. A couple times when I’m on the truth juice (drunk) I’ve confidently said way too much about my intentions and/or referred to our connection as a lifetime partnership. It’s what I’d want from this. For instance, I’ve asked him do I scare him? He says he only dates confident woman. To that I said, you’re only dating one more. He lol’ed.

He seems fine and eagerly chats as normal for a couple days And reaches out to me first... and then goes cold, leaving me bewildered!

What should I do with that? I’m tired of being a pen-friend, I want to meet to see once and for all if there is a real connection and only a meeting will determine that, I have been so patient and waited for him to suggest we meet and then he does and gets excited about it, it excites me....but then I wait and wait for when/where and he doesn’t follow through with any plans. This last time, he was run down and not feeling well... 🙄

He’s lonely too and loves the attention and banter but he’s not where you’re at and could be a long way off it. He’s making no effort to see you or be with you and you are most likely going to still be here waiting for many many months more on your rollerblader of emotions and could potentially miss meeting someone else, move on and stop reaching out to him.

Remember one of your favourite saying... if you love someone, set them free, if they come back they’re yours, if they don’t they never were.

click to expand

you're clever. you know the answer already. i wouldn't write him off completely but yes, he knows where to find you. keep him on the backburner (at least as an option should he makes the effort you want to see) and keep your eye open for anyone else who may grab your attention.

Posted by dillweed

i have a question:

have yall facetimed? or zoomed? like have you actually seen him, in real time? i just want to rule out a possible catfish scenario. you said he shares lots of pictures, which can give the appearance of truth but, gotta cover all bases.

he could just be having cold feet. have you asked him why he runs hot & cold? what you wrote here sounds like yall could successfully have that kinda convo.

online dating seems really hard 😕

We haven’t, but he’s sent numerous pictures of himself and the kids with him and his fb clarifys he is who he is plus google. He evens sends shots when he’s not looking his best and always says, he’s not all that but is confident and happy with his looks and himself.. this is where I feel he’s insecure because I’m typical libra, Leo moon and completely happy with me.

Yes, definitely cold feet. But how long do you wait?? It’s frustrating and hurts tbh

Posted by jeane

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by sweethearts

For months now I’ve been talking to this guy and feel like we could be a solid couple. We share so many things in common and can laugh and joke around easily. Problem is he runs hot and cold often, just when things are so easy and we are finding more and more to talk about and decide it’s time to meet, he goes ice cold and finds an excuse to not. This has happened 3 times now, he’s says he’s a confident person and he’s shared many pictures of himself and his kids.

I don’t get it, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. I’m not sure what or why he’s holding back. I’ve done some stalking and he is single and doesn’t appear to have anyone in his life. A couple times when I’m on the truth juice (drunk) I’ve confidently said way too much about my intentions and/or referred to our connection as a lifetime partnership. It’s what I’d want from this. For instance, I’ve asked him do I scare him? He says he only dates confident woman. To that I said, you’re only dating one more. He lol’ed.

He seems fine and eagerly chats as normal for a couple days And reaches out to me first... and then goes cold, leaving me bewildered!

What should I do with that? I’m tired of being a pen-friend, I want to meet to see once and for all if there is a real connection and only a meeting will determine that, I have been so patient and waited for him to suggest we meet and then he does and gets excited about it, it excites me....but then I wait and wait for when/where and he doesn’t follow through with any plans. This last time, he was run down and not feeling well... 🙄

He’s lonely too and loves the attention and banter but he’s not where you’re at and could be a long way off it. He’s making no effort to see you or be with you and you are most likely going to still be here waiting for many many months more on your rollerblader of emotions and could potentially miss meeting someone else, move on and stop reaching out to him.

Remember one of your favourite saying... if you love someone, set them free, if they come back they’re yours, if they don’t they never were.

you're clever. you know the answer already. i wouldn't write him off completely but yes, he knows where to find you. keep him on the backburner (at least as an option should he makes the effort you want to see) and keep your eye open for anyone else who may grab your attention.

click to expand

Thanks I know... I’ve put it to paper so that I follow through. All he has to do is say good morning and I’m lost again. If he doesn’t step up, I’ll keep moving.

Posted by Arinoaqua

Is he a Pisces

Yes!! The only sign that tortures me like this!

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

i have a question:

have yall facetimed? or zoomed? like have you actually seen him, in real time? i just want to rule out a possible catfish scenario. you said he shares lots of pictures, which can give the appearance of truth but, gotta cover all bases.

he could just be having cold feet. have you asked him why he runs hot & cold? what you wrote here sounds like yall could successfully have that kinda convo.

online dating seems really hard 😕

We haven’t, but he’s sent numerous pictures of himself and the kids with him and his fb clarifys he is who he is plus google. He evens sends shots when he’s not looking his best and always says, he’s not all that but is confident and happy with his looks and himself.. this is where I feel he’s insecure because I’m typical libra, Leo moon and completely happy with me.

Yes, definitely cold feet. But how long do you wait?? It’s frustrating and hurts tbh

click to expand

you don't wait. keep following your path. if he wants to join you on it then great. if not, keep headed where you were going.

Posted by dillweed

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

i have a question:

have yall facetimed? or zoomed? like have you actually seen him, in real time? i just want to rule out a possible catfish scenario. you said he shares lots of pictures, which can give the appearance of truth but, gotta cover all bases.

he could just be having cold feet. have you asked him why he runs hot & cold? what you wrote here sounds like yall could successfully have that kinda convo.

online dating seems really hard 😕

We haven’t, but he’s sent numerous pictures of himself and the kids with him and his fb clarifys he is who he is plus google. He evens sends shots when he’s not looking his best and always says, he’s not all that but is confident and happy with his looks and himself.. this is where I feel he’s insecure because I’m typical libra, Leo moon and completely happy with me.

Yes, definitely cold feet. But how long do you wait?? It’s frustrating and hurts tbh

i know it’s terrifying but, why not just ask him? take a coupla shots beforehand if you need to lol

i think sharing your frustration & feelings might give you really nice clarity, ya know? it seems like he doesnt mind when you express how your feeling. if he did, he woulda been out tha door the first time you told him he was long term potential.

you said he has kids, more than one. maybe he doesnt feel the urgency to meet? & is happy with how things are? maybe he doesnt know how hurtful the lack of follow thru really is & that it could mean you cutting him off. it’s kinda astonishing just how clueless dudes can be, tbh.

& who knows, maybe the conversation will bring you two closer? no use driving yourself crazy. chances are, you’ll talk yourself into self sabotage on something could actually be really fruitful.

are you willing to share his placements? im just curious on what you are working with.

click to expand

I've done the compatibility and it looks pretty good on paper, not without it's challenges but overall quite good which is why I have hung around so long..it's draining though and not good for me. IF it is a power struggle, I think I could let go. lol

Posted by Moon_River

My guess is he likes the distant intimacy and isn’t at the point where he wants it up close. He could be afraid or he could just not want to integrate his life with someone else.

I would only invest what you get in return or what makes you feel happy.

I told him when he asked, that I was looking for the one. He said he was glad. Then I said I wasn’t ready until now a after 15 years and he’s said he was too now after 5 years separated. So, He says he’s ready but his actions say other.

You’re right, not feeling happy in the silence.

Posted by justagirl

did you just give yourself adivse? lol

Nevermind i re-read the title. you did

Legit LOL’d cuz I had the same reaction.

And her advice was soooo sweet, kind and delivered with such patience lmao.

If nothing else can be said, damn, our inner dialogues need to be loving like this!

Posted by dillweed

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

i have a question:

have yall facetimed? or zoomed? like have you actually seen him, in real time? i just want to rule out a possible catfish scenario. you said he shares lots of pictures, which can give the appearance of truth but, gotta cover all bases.

he could just be having cold feet. have you asked him why he runs hot & cold? what you wrote here sounds like yall could successfully have that kinda convo.

online dating seems really hard 😕

We haven’t, but he’s sent numerous pictures of himself and the kids with him and his fb clarifys he is who he is plus google. He evens sends shots when he’s not looking his best and always says, he’s not all that but is confident and happy with his looks and himself.. this is where I feel he’s insecure because I’m typical libra, Leo moon and completely happy with me.

Yes, definitely cold feet. But how long do you wait?? It’s frustrating and hurts tbh

i know it’s terrifying but, why not just ask him? take a coupla shots beforehand if you need to lol

i think sharing your frustration & feelings might give you really nice clarity, ya know? it seems like he doesnt mind when you express how your feeling. if he did, he woulda been out tha door the first time you told him he was long term potential.

you said he has kids, more than one. maybe he doesnt feel the urgency to meet? & is happy with how things are? maybe he doesnt know how hurtful the lack of follow thru really is & that it could mean you cutting him off. it’s kinda astonishing just how clueless dudes can be, tbh.

& who knows, maybe the conversation will bring you two closer? no use driving yourself crazy. chances are, you’ll talk yourself into self sabotage on something could actually be really fruitful.

are you willing to share his placements? im just curious on what you are working with.

I've done the compatibility and it looks pretty good on paper, not without it's challenges but overall quite good which is why I have hung around so long..it's draining though and not good for me. IF it is a power struggle, I think I could let go. lol

oh lorrrddd gf that is hella pisces lmaoooo

so, i used to have a fling with this pisces a few years ago. he did this thing where he’d invite me over & if i didnt respond quickly enough, he’d not respond to me for 3 days. it was pretty frustrating bc everything was always on his time. which was mostly fine since i knew it wasnt going anywhere.

for him, just that little bit of wait, gave him enough time to talk himself into an insecure tizzy. like “oh she hates me”, “im a dumbass”, “did that text sound stupid” “would i rather be alone rn?”.

ive dated a few pisceans in my 20s & they all had this element of insecurity. always second guessing, or building up the fantasy & too afraid to see how it works in reality, down on themselves for any potential mistakes etc. not saying every pisces is like this but ime, it has been.

idk any pisces / virgo moons personally but that virgo moon could also add an element of second guessing. if his pisces placements oppose his moon, that could add a WHOLEEE other element of not knowing what he wants. plus, pisceans always hermit mode tf up during the weirdest times.

to me, i wonder if he is afraid of facing reality. maybe he’s scared you will think he sucks. maybe he’s scared he might think you suck. maybe the fantasy of you is all he needs.

either way, i still think you should talk to him about how you are feeling.

click to expand

That was the best psychological explanation for how and why Pisces behave so shifty in love.

I don’t think Pisces women are so much like this, but only because most of us don’t put ourselves in the seat of pursuit in romance. But the insecure, self deprecation talk is so spot on.

Posted by dillweed

Posted by malloryor

Posted by dillweed

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

i have a question:

have yall facetimed? or zoomed? like have you actually seen him, in real time? i just want to rule out a possible catfish scenario. you said he shares lots of pictures, which can give the appearance of truth but, gotta cover all bases.

he could just be having cold feet. have you asked him why he runs hot & cold? what you wrote here sounds like yall could successfully have that kinda convo.

online dating seems really hard 😕

We haven’t, but he’s sent numerous pictures of himself and the kids with him and his fb clarifys he is who he is plus google. He evens sends shots when he’s not looking his best and always says, he’s not all that but is confident and happy with his looks and himself.. this is where I feel he’s insecure because I’m typical libra, Leo moon and completely happy with me.

Yes, definitely cold feet. But how long do you wait?? It’s frustrating and hurts tbh

i know it’s terrifying but, why not just ask him? take a coupla shots beforehand if you need to lol

i think sharing your frustration & feelings might give you really nice clarity, ya know? it seems like he doesnt mind when you express how your feeling. if he did, he woulda been out tha door the first time you told him he was long term potential.

you said he has kids, more than one. maybe he doesnt feel the urgency to meet? & is happy with how things are? maybe he doesnt know how hurtful the lack of follow thru really is & that it could mean you cutting him off. it’s kinda astonishing just how clueless dudes can be, tbh.

& who knows, maybe the conversation will bring you two closer? no use driving yourself crazy. chances are, you’ll talk yourself into self sabotage on something could actually be really fruitful.

are you willing to share his placements? im just curious on what you are working with.

I've done the compatibility and it looks pretty good on paper, not without it's challenges but overall quite good which is why I have hung around so long..it's draining though and not good for me. IF it is a power struggle, I think I could let go. lol

oh lorrrddd gf that is hella pisces lmaoooo

so, i used to have a fling with this pisces a few years ago. he did this thing where he’d invite me over & if i didnt respond quickly enough, he’d not respond to me for 3 days. it was pretty frustrating bc everything was always on his time. which was mostly fine since i knew it wasnt going anywhere.

for him, just that little bit of wait, gave him enough time to talk himself into an insecure tizzy. like “oh she hates me”, “im a dumbass”, “did that text sound stupid” “would i rather be alone rn?”.

ive dated a few pisceans in my 20s & they all had this element of insecurity. always second guessing, or building up the fantasy & too afraid to see how it works in reality, down on themselves for any potential mistakes etc. not saying every pisces is like this but ime, it has been.

idk any pisces / virgo moons personally but that virgo moon could also add an element of second guessing. if his pisces placements oppose his moon, that could add a WHOLEEE other element of not knowing what he wants. plus, pisceans always hermit mode tf up during the weirdest times.

to me, i wonder if he is afraid of facing reality. maybe he’s scared you will think he sucks. maybe he’s scared he might think you suck. maybe the fantasy of you is all he needs.

either way, i still think you should talk to him about how you are feeling.

That was the best psychological explanation for how and why Pisces behave so shifty in love.

I don’t think Pisces women are so much like this, but only because most of us don’t put ourselves in the seat of pursuit in romance. But the insecure, self deprecation talk is so spot on.

i agree about pisces women.

i think most men feel uncomfortable with pisces placements bc it’s such a sensitive one. most men are not raised, or socially, taught to tap into their sensitive side. so it can create a whole mess of problems for them.

i also noticed that the pisces placement men i know, prefer the company of women. they are like surrounded by women friends, sisters, aunties, moms, etc.

click to expand

Yes, you’re so right on this. I’ve noticed the part about preferring female company as well. They thrive on female attention, and they are the types that actually enjoy being “mothered, babied,” however you wish to call it, they love it!

I say this actually for both Pisces men and Leo men. And this makes it tricky for a woman trying to date a guy like that because it can become straight manipulative, toxic energy.

If you’ve only seen pics and not FaceTime and he has made excuses each time you try and meet in person, sounds awfully fishy to me. Catfishy

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by sweethearts

For months now I’ve been talking to this guy and feel like we could be a solid couple. We share so many things in common and can laugh and joke around easily. Problem is he runs hot and cold often, just when things are so easy and we are finding more and more to talk about and decide it’s time to meet, he goes ice cold and finds an excuse to not. This has happened 3 times now, he’s says he’s a confident person and he’s shared many pictures of himself and his kids.

I don’t get it, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. I’m not sure what or why he’s holding back. I’ve done some stalking and he is single and doesn’t appear to have anyone in his life. A couple times when I’m on the truth juice (drunk) I’ve confidently said way too much about my intentions and/or referred to our connection as a lifetime partnership. It’s what I’d want from this. For instance, I’ve asked him do I scare him? He says he only dates confident woman. To that I said, you’re only dating one more. He lol’ed.

He seems fine and eagerly chats as normal for a couple days And reaches out to me first... and then goes cold, leaving me bewildered!

What should I do with that? I’m tired of being a pen-friend, I want to meet to see once and for all if there is a real connection and only a meeting will determine that, I have been so patient and waited for him to suggest we meet and then he does and gets excited about it, it excites me....but then I wait and wait for when/where and he doesn’t follow through with any plans. This last time, he was run down and not feeling well... 🙄

He’s lonely too and loves the attention and banter but he’s not where you’re at and could be a long way off it. He’s making no effort to see you or be with you and you are most likely going to still be here waiting for many many months more on your rollerblader of emotions and could potentially miss meeting someone else, move on and stop reaching out to him.

Remember one of your favourite saying... if you love someone, set them free, if they come back they’re yours, if they don’t they never were.

click to expand

*like*

Posted by dillweed

Posted by malloryor

Posted by dillweed

Posted by malloryor

Posted by dillweed

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

i have a question:

have yall facetimed? or zoomed? like have you actually seen him, in real time? i just want to rule out a possible catfish scenario. you said he shares lots of pictures, which can give the appearance of truth but, gotta cover all bases.

he could just be having cold feet. have you asked him why he runs hot & cold? what you wrote here sounds like yall could successfully have that kinda convo.

online dating seems really hard 😕

We haven’t, but he’s sent numerous pictures of himself and the kids with him and his fb clarifys he is who he is plus google. He evens sends shots when he’s not looking his best and always says, he’s not all that but is confident and happy with his looks and himself.. this is where I feel he’s insecure because I’m typical libra, Leo moon and completely happy with me.

Yes, definitely cold feet. But how long do you wait?? It’s frustrating and hurts tbh

i know it’s terrifying but, why not just ask him? take a coupla shots beforehand if you need to lol

i think sharing your frustration & feelings might give you really nice clarity, ya know? it seems like he doesnt mind when you express how your feeling. if he did, he woulda been out tha door the first time you told him he was long term potential.

you said he has kids, more than one. maybe he doesnt feel the urgency to meet? & is happy with how things are? maybe he doesnt know how hurtful the lack of follow thru really is & that it could mean you cutting him off. it’s kinda astonishing just how clueless dudes can be, tbh.

& who knows, maybe the conversation will bring you two closer? no use driving yourself crazy. chances are, you’ll talk yourself into self sabotage on something could actually be really fruitful.

are you willing to share his placements? im just curious on what you are working with.

I've done the compatibility and it looks pretty good on paper, not without it's challenges but overall quite good which is why I have hung around so long..it's draining though and not good for me. IF it is a power struggle, I think I could let go. lol

oh lorrrddd gf that is hella pisces lmaoooo

so, i used to have a fling with this pisces a few years ago. he did this thing where he’d invite me over & if i didnt respond quickly enough, he’d not respond to me for 3 days. it was pretty frustrating bc everything was always on his time. which was mostly fine since i knew it wasnt going anywhere.

for him, just that little bit of wait, gave him enough time to talk himself into an insecure tizzy. like “oh she hates me”, “im a dumbass”, “did that text sound stupid” “would i rather be alone rn?”.

ive dated a few pisceans in my 20s & they all had this element of insecurity. always second guessing, or building up the fantasy & too afraid to see how it works in reality, down on themselves for any potential mistakes etc. not saying every pisces is like this but ime, it has been.

idk any pisces / virgo moons personally but that virgo moon could also add an element of second guessing. if his pisces placements oppose his moon, that could add a WHOLEEE other element of not knowing what he wants. plus, pisceans always hermit mode tf up during the weirdest times.

to me, i wonder if he is afraid of facing reality. maybe he’s scared you will think he sucks. maybe he’s scared he might think you suck. maybe the fantasy of you is all he needs.

either way, i still think you should talk to him about how you are feeling.

That was the best psychological explanation for how and why Pisces behave so shifty in love.

I don’t think Pisces women are so much like this, but only because most of us don’t put ourselves in the seat of pursuit in romance. But the insecure, self deprecation talk is so spot on.

i agree about pisces women.

i think most men feel uncomfortable with pisces placements bc it’s such a sensitive one. most men are not raised, or socially, taught to tap into their sensitive side. so it can create a whole mess of problems for them.

i also noticed that the pisces placement men i know, prefer the company of women. they are like surrounded by women friends, sisters, aunties, moms, etc.

Yes, you’re so right on this. I’ve noticed the part about preferring female company as well. They thrive on female attention, and they are the types that actually enjoy being “mothered, babied,” however you wish to call it, they love it!

I say this actually for both Pisces men and Leo men. And this makes it tricky for a woman trying to date a guy like that because it can become straight manipulative, toxic energy.

i used to like pisces/neptune energy dudes when i was younger. now im like allergic to them 😂 i, now, can quickly see their manipulative tricks before they even make a second move. as ive gotten older, i notice pisces jupiter popping up more & more. which is... interesting... ?

i attract a lot of leo energy men & it just never works beyond 2 months. fire signs are too demanding for me.

click to expand

What are Pisces in Jupiter like? I was under the impression that was a placement only reflective in finances and wealth.

I seem to attract a little bit of everything. Can’t say I attract one element or sign over the other. It seems more like I go in seasons, and this season is currently fire signs.

Posted by dillweed

OP sorry for the derail

i hope you tell him how you are feeling & keep us in the loop ❤️❤️

I think he’s knows... drunk me tells him, I think he’s my one. Said things like that a few times and he’s never run then, loves it and is full on the next day but does the disappearing on the 2nd day?? Almost a pattern. At first I put it down to his tough work schedule and children 3 that he had 50/50 but he texts me more when at work and with the children— I’ve been through every possible scenario lol

Something a Pisces will never understand: how could anyone have feelings for someone they've never met iRL...or even seen alive...—

WHAT SORT OF DELUSION IS THAT—??

Ok, I hear you all. One last shot then... when/if he reaches out to me again...

A video call at worse if no meeting and I’ll let him know how I’m feeling about it all. And yes, I totally get that he feels that way @undine. He’s said so, and even though I might say I feel all this and that... irl only a face to face is going to confirm whether it’s fact or fantasy and I’ve said that to him too.

Posted by dillweed

Posted by malloryor

Posted by dillweed

Posted by malloryor

Posted by dillweed

Posted by malloryor

Posted by dillweed

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

i have a question:

have yall facetimed? or zoomed? like have you actually seen him, in real time? i just want to rule out a possible catfish scenario. you said he shares lots of pictures, which can give the appearance of truth but, gotta cover all bases.

he could just be having cold feet. have you asked him why he runs hot & cold? what you wrote here sounds like yall could successfully have that kinda convo.

online dating seems really hard 😕

We haven’t, but he’s sent numerous pictures of himself and the kids with him and his fb clarifys he is who he is plus google. He evens sends shots when he’s not looking his best and always says, he’s not all that but is confident and happy with his looks and himself.. this is where I feel he’s insecure because I’m typical libra, Leo moon and completely happy with me.

Yes, definitely cold feet. But how long do you wait?? It’s frustrating and hurts tbh

i know it’s terrifying but, why not just ask him? take a coupla shots beforehand if you need to lol

i think sharing your frustration & feelings might give you really nice clarity, ya know? it seems like he doesnt mind when you express how your feeling. if he did, he woulda been out tha door the first time you told him he was long term potential.

you said he has kids, more than one. maybe he doesnt feel the urgency to meet? & is happy with how things are? maybe he doesnt know how hurtful the lack of follow thru really is & that it could mean you cutting him off. it’s kinda astonishing just how clueless dudes can be, tbh.

& who knows, maybe the conversation will bring you two closer? no use driving yourself crazy. chances are, you’ll talk yourself into self sabotage on something could actually be really fruitful.

are you willing to share his placements? im just curious on what you are working with.

I've done the compatibility and it looks pretty good on paper, not without it's challenges but overall quite good which is why I have hung around so long..it's draining though and not good for me. IF it is a power struggle, I think I could let go. lol

oh lorrrddd gf that is hella pisces lmaoooo

so, i used to have a fling with this pisces a few years ago. he did this thing where he’d invite me over & if i didnt respond quickly enough, he’d not respond to me for 3 days. it was pretty frustrating bc everything was always on his time. which was mostly fine since i knew it wasnt going anywhere.

for him, just that little bit of wait, gave him enough time to talk himself into an insecure tizzy. like “oh she hates me”, “im a dumbass”, “did that text sound stupid” “would i rather be alone rn?”.

ive dated a few pisceans in my 20s & they all had this element of insecurity. always second guessing, or building up the fantasy & too afraid to see how it works in reality, down on themselves for any potential mistakes etc. not saying every pisces is like this but ime, it has been.

idk any pisces / virgo moons personally but that virgo moon could also add an element of second guessing. if his pisces placements oppose his moon, that could add a WHOLEEE other element of not knowing what he wants. plus, pisceans always hermit mode tf up during the weirdest times.

to me, i wonder if he is afraid of facing reality. maybe he’s scared you will think he sucks. maybe he’s scared he might think you suck. maybe the fantasy of you is all he needs.

either way, i still think you should talk to him about how you are feeling.

That was the best psychological explanation for how and why Pisces behave so shifty in love.

I don’t think Pisces women are so much like this, but only because most of us don’t put ourselves in the seat of pursuit in romance. But the insecure, self deprecation talk is so spot on.

i agree about pisces women.

i think most men feel uncomfortable with pisces placements bc it’s such a sensitive one. most men are not raised, or socially, taught to tap into their sensitive side. so it can create a whole mess of problems for them.

i also noticed that the pisces placement men i know, prefer the company of women. they are like surrounded by women friends, sisters, aunties, moms, etc.

Yes, you’re so right on this. I’ve noticed the part about preferring female company as well. They thrive on female attention, and they are the types that actually enjoy being “mothered, babied,” however you wish to call it, they love it!

I say this actually for both Pisces men and Leo men. And this makes it tricky for a woman trying to date a guy like that because it can become straight manipulative, toxic energy.

i used to like pisces/neptune energy dudes when i was younger. now im like allergic to them 😂 i, now, can quickly see their manipulative tricks before they even make a second move. as ive gotten older, i notice pisces jupiter popping up more & more. which is... interesting... ?

i attract a lot of leo energy men & it just never works beyond 2 months. fire signs are too demanding for me.

What are Pisces in Jupiter like? I was under the impression that was a placement only reflective in finances and wealth.

I seem to attract a little bit of everything. Can’t say I attract one element or sign over the other. It seems more like I go in seasons, and this season is currently fire signs.

some people look to jupiter for romance too. i think jupiter expands whatever it touches. it’s a benefic so shines luck & prosperity on the good aspects & tends to lack boundaries when negative.

pisces jupiter can trine my sun & sextile my venus/jupiter so, idk maybe that has something to do w it?

click to expand

Yeah...

We went from junior high to senior year in college quick!

Way over my head lmaooo

Posted by dillweed

woof i just saw your neptune trines his venus & mercury, on the nose

for me, neptune is never a pleasant experience. even in the gentle aspects.

Easy aspect Loving aspect

These two people are attracted to each other and they have similar taste for music, art and everything that softens and soothes their senses. Neptune learns about their own creative abilities through beauty and harmony. Venus feels comfortable to show compassion, love and sentimentality. This is loving and harmonious relationship.

Posted by dillweed

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by dillweed

i have a question:

have yall facetimed? or zoomed? like have you actually seen him, in real time? i just want to rule out a possible catfish scenario. you said he shares lots of pictures, which can give the appearance of truth but, gotta cover all bases.

he could just be having cold feet. have you asked him why he runs hot & cold? what you wrote here sounds like yall could successfully have that kinda convo.

online dating seems really hard 😕

We haven’t, but he’s sent numerous pictures of himself and the kids with him and his fb clarifys he is who he is plus google. He evens sends shots when he’s not looking his best and always says, he’s not all that but is confident and happy with his looks and himself.. this is where I feel he’s insecure because I’m typical libra, Leo moon and completely happy with me.

Yes, definitely cold feet. But how long do you wait?? It’s frustrating and hurts tbh

i know it’s terrifying but, why not just ask him? take a coupla shots beforehand if you need to lol

i think sharing your frustration & feelings might give you really nice clarity, ya know? it seems like he doesnt mind when you express how your feeling. if he did, he woulda been out tha door the first time you told him he was long term potential.

you said he has kids, more than one. maybe he doesnt feel the urgency to meet? & is happy with how things are? maybe he doesnt know how hurtful the lack of follow thru really is & that it could mean you cutting him off. it’s kinda astonishing just how clueless dudes can be, tbh.

& who knows, maybe the conversation will bring you two closer? no use driving yourself crazy. chances are, you’ll talk yourself into self sabotage on something could actually be really fruitful.

are you willing to share his placements? im just curious on what you are working with.

I've done the compatibility and it looks pretty good on paper, not without it's challenges but overall quite good which is why I have hung around so long..it's draining though and not good for me. IF it is a power struggle, I think I could let go. lol

oh lorrrddd gf that is hella pisces lmaoooo

so, i used to have a fling with this pisces a few years ago. he did this thing where he’d invite me over & if i didnt respond quickly enough, he’d not respond to me for 3 days. it was pretty frustrating bc everything was always on his time. which was mostly fine since i knew it wasnt going anywhere.

for him, just that little bit of wait, gave him enough time to talk himself into an insecure tizzy. like “oh she hates me”, “im a dumbass”, “did that text sound stupid” “would i rather be alone rn?”.

ive dated a few pisceans in my 20s & they all had this element of insecurity. always second guessing, or building up the fantasy & too afraid to see how it works in reality, down on themselves for any potential mistakes etc. not saying every pisces is like this but ime, it has been.

idk any pisces / virgo moons personally but that virgo moon could also add an element of second guessing. if his pisces placements oppose his moon, that could add a WHOLEEE other element of not knowing what he wants. plus, pisceans always hermit mode tf up during the weirdest times.

to me, i wonder if he is afraid of facing reality. maybe he’s scared you will think he sucks. maybe he’s scared he might think you suck. maybe the fantasy of you is all he needs.

either way, i still think you should talk to him about how you are feeling.

click to expand

lol, everything you say you’ve experienced with the Pisces you’ve dated is exactly the way it is. He says he’s confident but I see from his actions that he isn’t, that’s why I asked if I scare him. When he said No, I said fuck, I scare myself sometimes. There’s always easy banter.

The other thing I think is he’s confessed that he never loved his wife of 10 years, she got pregnant with their twin daughters but they went on to have another. That was a random confession and Tom me by surprise but I wonder then... has he ever loved or been in love—

I think you are putting pressure on him. Saying your the last girl he will date and saying you have a lifetime connection with him. Way too much! Especially for never meeting. Makes u sound crazy. You don’t actually know him right now. It takes several months of dating to know someone.

Posted by pinkbird03

I think you are putting pressure on him. Saying your the last girl he will date and saying you have a lifetime connection with him. Way too much! Especially for never meeting. Makes u sound crazy. You don’t actually know him right now. It takes several months of dating to know someone.

Yes... drunk people say crazy things... and yea very hard to retract that but I’m not giving up drinking for any man 😂

Posted by Rish27

Posted by Undine

Something a Pisces will never understand: how could anyone have feelings for someone they've never met iRL...or even seen alive...—

WHAT SORT OF DELUSION IS THAT—??

Erm you are absolutely wrong here. Every Pisces I've ever known (including me) has or was at some point of time in a long distance relationship where more texts + calls and less meetings were involved.

We are lazy people. Tell us to come to a dinner date at freezing cold in the evening and we'll make a fuss...come to our home or facetime us while we cook, eat, clean the dishes, sleep, etc. and we would be absolutely happy.

Pisces needs reassurances to be happy in a relationship no matter in person or via texts.

click to expand

Yes, I see that, he hangs around his home all the time. Often falling asleep on the couch. Tbh, his work schedule is exhausting, I couldn’t do it!

I on the other hand, I have too much of a social life but that’s because I’m single. When I have a partner, I’m too focused on them. I personally need a happy medium because I’d like to find someone that would be happy with me going out or coming with me and also enjoying quiet times together.

Posted by Rish27

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Rish27

Posted by Undine

Something a Pisces will never understand: how could anyone have feelings for someone they've never met iRL...or even seen alive...—

WHAT SORT OF DELUSION IS THAT—??

Erm you are absolutely wrong here. Every Pisces I've ever known (including me) has or was at some point of time in a long distance relationship where more texts + calls and less meetings were involved.

We are lazy people. Tell us to come to a dinner date at freezing cold in the evening and we'll make a fuss...come to our home or facetime us while we cook, eat, clean the dishes, sleep, etc. and we would be absolutely happy.

Pisces needs reassurances to be happy in a relationship no matter in person or via texts.

Yes, I see that, he hangs around his home all the time. Often falling asleep on the couch. Tbh, his work schedule is exhausting, I couldn’t do it!

I on the other hand, I have too much of a social life but that’s because I’m single. When I have a partner, I’m too focused on them. I personally need a happy medium because I’d like to find someone that would be happy with me going out or coming with me and also enjoying quiet times together.

I think you're a Libra so you wouldn't have much trouble in adapting to what makes your partner happy, companionship it's the beauty of Libra sign.

Just give him his space, give him reaffirmations whenever you feel he's being cold, and it'll go smooth.

click to expand

Yes it would go well if I waited until he was ready and I have been very patient but I’m losing faith and if my mind is on him then it’s only him. I’m not the serial dater type and need some sort of affirmation from him. I am libra with heaps of Leo placements. I’m hesitant to ask outright, I do feel I’ve done more than I would normally do for any other guy..

Posted by jammyjam

Have you asked him if he also "feels you could be a solid couple"?

No, and no he wouldn’t say that as one of the other posters said. Maybe after meeting, something like that could be said. I was drunk and had verbal diarrhoea. I tend to get real cocky when I’m drinking as many do. His emotions are almost always in check. He’s very gentlemanly 🙂 and encourages contact, talks and says sweet things. That’s why it’s so hard. On paper, great... no action for a leeb/Leo bad.

No not in those words, but I have said I think we’d be great together and that I’m looking for “the one” when he asked. He just sends smiley faces with a x

He’s said this more than once.. I’m looking for one woman that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Posted by Rish27

Posted by Undine

Something a Pisces will never understand: how could anyone have feelings for someone they've never met iRL...or even seen alive...—

WHAT SORT OF DELUSION IS THAT—??

Erm you are absolutely wrong here. Every Pisces I've ever known (including me) has or was at some point of time in a long distance relationship where more texts + calls and less meetings were involved.

We are lazy people. Tell us to come to a dinner date at freezing cold in the evening and we'll make a fuss...come to our home or facetime us while we cook, eat, clean the dishes, sleep, etc. and we would be absolutely happy.

Pisces needs reassurances to be happy in a relationship no matter in person or via texts.

click to expand

I think you misunderstood. I wasn’t referring to a LDR. I’ve been twice in one, including with my ex husband. I was referring to the idea of catching feelings for a stranger you NEVER met IRL, never had a video chat with.

Posted by Undine

Posted by Rish27

Posted by Undine

Something a Pisces will never understand: how could anyone have feelings for someone they've never met iRL...or even seen alive...—

WHAT SORT OF DELUSION IS THAT—??

Erm you are absolutely wrong here. Every Pisces I've ever known (including me) has or was at some point of time in a long distance relationship where more texts + calls and less meetings were involved.

We are lazy people. Tell us to come to a dinner date at freezing cold in the evening and we'll make a fuss...come to our home or facetime us while we cook, eat, clean the dishes, sleep, etc. and we would be absolutely happy.

Pisces needs reassurances to be happy in a relationship no matter in person or via texts.

I think you misunderstood. I wasn’t referring to a LDR. I’ve been twice in one, including with my ex husband. I was referring to the idea of catching feelings for a stranger you NEVER met IRL, never had a video chat with.

click to expand

It’s actually doable, when all you do is text and talk, you find out so much more about the other person. You become involved in their day to day lives and their ups and downs. Feelings can be caught... whether they are real is debatable but just because you’ve never experienced it doesn’t mean it’s not so.

Posted by Arinoaqua

Posted by aquarius_man_

Posted by Arinoaqua

I did it to the Aqua until he put his foot down and said “I don’t need any friends.” And gave me an ultimatum.

And how did you react? (I can only applaud people who stand their ground and give if not ultimatums at least an idea of what boundaries shall not be crossed)

I don’t remember my reaction but we went on a date shortly after and were together 6 years.

The thing is, I wasn’t leading him on. I wasn’t dating anyone else. I was just enjoying what we had. It felt good and I wanted to bask in it. In so many ways he didn’t live up to the fantasy that he himself helped create for me. He made a lot of promises and talked a big talk.

So...he did teach me not to get so invested in a person you’re just talking to. By the time we met I already had strong feelings for him...so when reality started smacking me in the face (He lied by omission about some pretty important things), I ignored it and tried really hard to get back to that fantasy that was never really real. ☹️

click to expand

And that’s exactly why I’m getting frustrated that we haven’t met yet.

Posted by Arinoaqua

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Arinoaqua

Posted by aquarius_man_

Posted by Arinoaqua

I did it to the Aqua until he put his foot down and said “I don’t need any friends.” And gave me an ultimatum.

And how did you react? (I can only applaud people who stand their ground and give if not ultimatums at least an idea of what boundaries shall not be crossed)

I don’t remember my reaction but we went on a date shortly after and were together 6 years.

The thing is, I wasn’t leading him on. I wasn’t dating anyone else. I was just enjoying what we had. It felt good and I wanted to bask in it. In so many ways he didn’t live up to the fantasy that he himself helped create for me. He made a lot of promises and talked a big talk.

So...he did teach me not to get so invested in a person you’re just talking to. By the time we met I already had strong feelings for him...so when reality started smacking me in the face (He lied by omission about some pretty important things), I ignored it and tried really hard to get back to that fantasy that was never really real. ☹️

And that’s exactly why I’m getting frustrated that we haven’t met yet.

I know. If you would have told me prior to him I’d develop feelings online I would have laughed. That’s why I encourage you to put your foot down. It’s hard but it will save you even more heartache in the long run.

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Typical libra, I’m flipping back and forth now. I told him, I’d wait for when he’s ready..

Now I’ve decided to keep my eyes open to meeting someone else... if he comes back, then he’ll need to make the moves to meeting me.

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Undine

Posted by Rish27

Posted by Undine

Something a Pisces will never understand: how could anyone have feelings for someone they've never met iRL...or even seen alive...—

WHAT SORT OF DELUSION IS THAT—??

Erm you are absolutely wrong here. Every Pisces I've ever known (including me) has or was at some point of time in a long distance relationship where more texts + calls and less meetings were involved.

We are lazy people. Tell us to come to a dinner date at freezing cold in the evening and we'll make a fuss...come to our home or facetime us while we cook, eat, clean the dishes, sleep, etc. and we would be absolutely happy.

Pisces needs reassurances to be happy in a relationship no matter in person or via texts.

I think you misunderstood. I wasn’t referring to a LDR. I’ve been twice in one, including with my ex husband. I was referring to the idea of catching feelings for a stranger you NEVER met IRL, never had a video chat with.

It’s actually doable, when all you do is text and talk, you find out so much more about the other person. You become involved in their day to day lives and their ups and downs. Feelings can be caught... whether they are real is debatable but just because you’ve never experienced it doesn’t mean it’s not so.

click to expand

If it wasn’t possible, catfish would not exist. 😄

It is possible, it’s just a bad idea, who will most likely disappoint when they finally met and there is little chemistry between them, numerous unappealing habits surface, and they also differ very much from their online persona and the fantasy created around them.

I wouldn’t have taken LDRs seriously without meeting them IRL at the beginning, and feeling that they were right for me, and me for them.

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03

I think you are putting pressure on him. Saying your the last girl he will date and saying you have a lifetime connection with him. Way too much! Especially for never meeting. Makes u sound crazy. You don’t actually know him right now. It takes several months of dating to know someone.

Yes... drunk people say crazy things... and yea very hard to retract that but I’m not giving up drinking for any man 😂

click to expand

Don’t drink text/dial him. I think this is his problem. You’re in 100% and he’s still deciding. The more u push him, the more he pulls away. Men don’t fall in love as easily as woman do. Be patient and allow him to grow interest naturally.

Also, there is so much more important information to gain when face to face. Body language. Facial expressions. Tone of his voice. His aura. Energy field. The glimmer in his eyes. The temperature of his skin. His smell, so important for chemistry. All of these also telling you something about the impression you made on him.

Unfortunately, not even modern technology can replace that. In a video chat, when they appear to be looking at you, they look Ito the camera. When they really look at you, their eyes are looking down. Almost as worse as trying to have an intimate conversation on the phone!

If there are no COVID related restrictions, there are no excuses. Libra husband travelled 1500 miles to meet me. Cap travelled 300 miles. We only had to cancel once, because of the lockdown. As soon as it was lifted, we met IRL.

One of the best things about an LDR is that meeting IRL is different from local dating. Due to the distance, we met for at least one week at a time. Libra stayed with my parents. Cap stayed with me. You learn about the person a lot, for better or worse.

If I were in your shoes... cancelling meetings would be a huge red flag. I would put the online thing on ice till he keeps his promises.

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03

I think you are putting pressure on him. Saying your the last girl he will date and saying you have a lifetime connection with him. Way too much! Especially for never meeting. Makes u sound crazy. You don’t actually know him right now. It takes several months of dating to know someone.

Yes... drunk people say crazy things... and yea very hard to retract that but I’m not giving up drinking for any man 😂

Don’t drink text/dial him. I think this is his problem. You’re in 100% and he’s still deciding. The more u push him, the more he pulls away. Men don’t fall in love as easily as woman do. Be patient and allow him to grow interest naturally.

click to expand

He messages me most of the time when he knows I’m out. We both love football and lately there’s been a lot of playoffs with different codes. We were supposed to watch a game together on Saturday but that was the one he canceled on.

He says he likes it when I’m drinking because he calls it the truth juice, however, I do wonder myself if even though he says that.. it plays a part when he goes cold, inside his own head! I always read back texts the next day and I joke that’s my twin Eleanor.

But yeah thanks, I know men take their time and we are more emotional. It helps when I don’t contact him for a bit... brings me back down to earth.

Posted by Undine

Also, there is so much more important information to gain when face to face. Body language. Facial expressions. Tone of his voice. His aura. Energy field. The glimmer in his eyes. The temperature of his skin. His smell, so important for chemistry. All of these also telling you something about the impression you made on him.

Unfortunately, not even modern technology can replace that. In a video chat, when they appear to be looking at you, they look Ito the camera. When they really look at you, their eyes are looking down. Almost as worse as trying to have an intimate conversation on the phone!

If there are no COVID related restrictions, there are no excuses. Libra husband travelled 1500 miles to meet me. Cap travelled 300 miles. We only had to cancel once, because of the lockdown. As soon as it was lifted, we met IRL.

One of the best things about an LDR is that meeting IRL is different from local dating. Due to the distance, we met for at least one week at a time. Libra stayed with my parents. Cap stayed with me. You learn about the person a lot, for better or worse.

If I were in your shoes... cancelling meetings would be a huge red flag. I would put the online thing on ice till he keeps his promises.

I agree 100% ...

This is why I replied to myself. Now I just need to follow through.

Posted by Undine

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Undine

Also, there is so much more important information to gain when face to face. Body language. Facial expressions. Tone of his voice. His aura. Energy field. The glimmer in his eyes. The temperature of his skin. His smell, so important for chemistry. All of these also telling you something about the impression you made on him.

Unfortunately, not even modern technology can replace that. In a video chat, when they appear to be looking at you, they look Ito the camera. When they really look at you, their eyes are looking down. Almost as worse as trying to have an intimate conversation on the phone!

If there are no COVID related restrictions, there are no excuses. Libra husband travelled 1500 miles to meet me. Cap travelled 300 miles. We only had to cancel once, because of the lockdown. As soon as it was lifted, we met IRL.

One of the best things about an LDR is that meeting IRL is different from local dating. Due to the distance, we met for at least one week at a time. Libra stayed with my parents. Cap stayed with me. You learn about the person a lot, for better or worse.

If I were in your shoes... cancelling meetings would be a huge red flag. I would put the online thing on ice till he keeps his promises.

I agree 100% ...

This is why I replied to myself. Now I just need to follow through.

A warning about possible side effects of a LDR.....each time they had to leave me after we met IRL, I experienced withdrawal symptoms for a few weeks. All that dopamine rush, and then there was none of it 😄 Psychosomatic pain is quite common. I experienced chest pain, like a heart attack. It could feel worse than a breakup, since there is an adrenaline rush after the breakup.

If it works well, it's worth the pain though 😉

click to expand

Now you’re going to nut off at me but this is what’s frustrating. He’s not LD, he’s time poor. He lives 40 minutes away but works 3 rotating shifts, mornings, afternoons and over night then has his kids Sunday to Sunday every 2nd week. So we could meet up on the 3rd week at nights when he works days if he doesn’t have the kids that week. Or he could make it happen somewhere if he really wanted to...

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03

I think you are putting pressure on him. Saying your the last girl he will date and saying you have a lifetime connection with him. Way too much! Especially for never meeting. Makes u sound crazy. You don’t actually know him right now. It takes several months of dating to know someone.

Yes... drunk people say crazy things... and yea very hard to retract that but I’m not giving up drinking for any man 😂

Don’t drink text/dial him. I think this is his problem. You’re in 100% and he’s still deciding. The more u push him, the more he pulls away. Men don’t fall in love as easily as woman do. Be patient and allow him to grow interest naturally.

He messages me most of the time when he knows I’m out. We both love football and lately there’s been a lot of playoffs with different codes. We were supposed to watch a game together on Saturday but that was the one he canceled on.

He says he likes it when I’m drinking because he calls it the truth juice, however, I do wonder myself if even though he says that.. it plays a part when he goes cold, inside his own head! I always read back texts the next day and I joke that’s my twin Eleanor.

But yeah thanks, I know men take their time and we are more emotional. It helps when I don’t contact him for a bit... brings me back down to earth.

click to expand

Hmm try to meet him. That’s the only way to know if it’s going to move past a pen pal. Just be cautious. His actions resemble a noncommittal man.

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Undine

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Undine

Also, there is so much more important information to gain when face to face. Body language. Facial expressions. Tone of his voice. His aura. Energy field. The glimmer in his eyes. The temperature of his skin. His smell, so important for chemistry. All of these also telling you something about the impression you made on him.

Unfortunately, not even modern technology can replace that. In a video chat, when they appear to be looking at you, they look Ito the camera. When they really look at you, their eyes are looking down. Almost as worse as trying to have an intimate conversation on the phone!

If there are no COVID related restrictions, there are no excuses. Libra husband travelled 1500 miles to meet me. Cap travelled 300 miles. We only had to cancel once, because of the lockdown. As soon as it was lifted, we met IRL.

One of the best things about an LDR is that meeting IRL is different from local dating. Due to the distance, we met for at least one week at a time. Libra stayed with my parents. Cap stayed with me. You learn about the person a lot, for better or worse.

If I were in your shoes... cancelling meetings would be a huge red flag. I would put the online thing on ice till he keeps his promises.

I agree 100% ...

This is why I replied to myself. Now I just need to follow through.

A warning about possible side effects of a LDR.....each time they had to leave me after we met IRL, I experienced withdrawal symptoms for a few weeks. All that dopamine rush, and then there was none of it 😄 Psychosomatic pain is quite common. I experienced chest pain, like a heart attack. It could feel worse than a breakup, since there is an adrenaline rush after the breakup.

If it works well, it's worth the pain though 😉

Now you’re going to nut off at me but this is what’s frustrating. He’s not LD, he’s time poor. He lives 40 minutes away but works 3 rotating shifts, mornings, afternoons and over night then has his kids Sunday to Sunday every 2nd week. So we could meet up on the 3rd week at nights when he works days if he doesn’t have the kids that week. Or he could make it happen somewhere if he really wanted to...

click to expand

Your assessment is very correct. ATM this idealize fantasy of a relationship is enough for him but no longer for you. I suspect he doesn't feel he can make it work with what he has going on or because he doesn't believe you will be satisfied with what he can make happen. He is basing the latter off of the idealized fake relationship you guys have and the pieces he filled in from his imagination. It's either this or this is just his mo and these kind of relationships are enough to satisfy him personally. As far as you are concerned the reason is irrelevant as this situation isn't enough for you personally.



This happens often in LD pin pal like relationships. People literally become afraid of the messiness of the real thing. Of this fantasy being popped or of putting the effort to make it a reality. They are afraid of the real thing. The great and not so good of real relationships. I have a friend and the dude picks a fight or allows himself to take something the wrong way so he doesn't feel guilty for pushing her a way. A Gemini with a cancer moon😑

They make excuses and even gaslight themselves to hide this truth for themselves. They are afraid.

It. Also reminds me on why people crap on romantic relationships in Disney movies for giving a unrealistic expectations to young kids.

A more fitting example in this case would be, how some women sit at home, living though their romance books instead of going out and looking for the real thing. This is safer and just as convenient. Scene it sounds like he is actively avoiding real communication( phone or zoom) and physical interaction I would say this is the case.

I would not assume he is aware of why he is doing what he is doing nor that he is consciously using you. It is just you guys clicked that way natural(receptive). I bet his game has made you melt more then once and you enjoyed it too lol

These virtual relationships are addicting to some people. It's on demand and you can pore a lot of energy into each other in bursts. If you restrict contact and from things getting too personal, you keep the relationship from evolving for whatever reason...t's seriously like cloud9 on demand. It's understandable how people can be hooked on this.

Others get stuck at this stage because they get what they needed out of it and afraid of jeopardizing what they currently have going on. Another demographic insecurity and self-esteem issues. I know people in my personal life who have fallen into these traps.

Your assessment oh the situation is correct regardless of the reason. I just love psychology and totally over sharing. He could make room for you in his life. Yet not only has he failed to try, but he is actively avoid real contact with you. Actions speak louder then words.

If your up for it, before you fade away, give him the benefit of a doubt and don't take it personally. Do him a favor and tell him you feelings and thoughts on the relationship as you metaphorically walk away. Assume he is unaware or just speak objectively, tell him your observations in a light hearted manner.

Literally work in " it's too bad this relationship isn't real. I enjoy talking to you. It's been fun."

He is perfectly capable of making it happen in a way you can be ok with. "In the future you are going to have serious trouble holding on to somebody until your willing to make room for them." 🙃

Basically Tell him off and walk away in style

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03

I think you are putting pressure on him. Saying your the last girl he will date and saying you have a lifetime connection with him. Way too much! Especially for never meeting. Makes u sound crazy. You don’t actually know him right now. It takes several months of dating to know someone.

Yes... drunk people say crazy things... and yea very hard to retract that but I’m not giving up drinking for any man 😂

Don’t drink text/dial him. I think this is his problem. You’re in 100% and he’s still deciding. The more u push him, the more he pulls away. Men don’t fall in love as easily as woman do. Be patient and allow him to grow interest naturally.

He messages me most of the time when he knows I’m out. We both love football and lately there’s been a lot of playoffs with different codes. We were supposed to watch a game together on Saturday but that was the one he canceled on.

He says he likes it when I’m drinking because he calls it the truth juice, however, I do wonder myself if even though he says that.. it plays a part when he goes cold, inside his own head! I always read back texts the next day and I joke that’s my twin Eleanor.

But yeah thanks, I know men take their time and we are more emotional. It helps when I don’t contact him for a bit... brings me back down to earth.

Hmm try to meet him. That’s the only way to know if it’s going to move past a pen pal. Just be cautious. His actions resemble a noncommittal man.

click to expand

Yes having been trapped once before... I’m sure he’s scared!

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Undine

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Undine

Also, there is so much more important information to gain when face to face. Body language. Facial expressions. Tone of his voice. His aura. Energy field. The glimmer in his eyes. The temperature of his skin. His smell, so important for chemistry. All of these also telling you something about the impression you made on him.

Unfortunately, not even modern technology can replace that. In a video chat, when they appear to be looking at you, they look Ito the camera. When they really look at you, their eyes are looking down. Almost as worse as trying to have an intimate conversation on the phone!

If there are no COVID related restrictions, there are no excuses. Libra husband travelled 1500 miles to meet me. Cap travelled 300 miles. We only had to cancel once, because of the lockdown. As soon as it was lifted, we met IRL.

One of the best things about an LDR is that meeting IRL is different from local dating. Due to the distance, we met for at least one week at a time. Libra stayed with my parents. Cap stayed with me. You learn about the person a lot, for better or worse.

If I were in your shoes... cancelling meetings would be a huge red flag. I would put the online thing on ice till he keeps his promises.

I agree 100% ...

This is why I replied to myself. Now I just need to follow through.

A warning about possible side effects of a LDR.....each time they had to leave me after we met IRL, I experienced withdrawal symptoms for a few weeks. All that dopamine rush, and then there was none of it 😄 Psychosomatic pain is quite common. I experienced chest pain, like a heart attack. It could feel worse than a breakup, since there is an adrenaline rush after the breakup.

If it works well, it's worth the pain though 😉

Now you’re going to nut off at me but this is what’s frustrating. He’s not LD, he’s time poor. He lives 40 minutes away but works 3 rotating shifts, mornings, afternoons and over night then has his kids Sunday to Sunday every 2nd week. So we could meet up on the 3rd week at nights when he works days if he doesn’t have the kids that week. Or he could make it happen somewhere if he really wanted to...

Your assessment is very correct. ATM this idealize fantasy of a relationship is enough for him but no longer for you. I suspect he doesn't feel he can make it work with what he has going on or because he doesn't believe you will be satisfied with what he can make happen. He is basing the latter off of the idealized fake relationship you guys have and the pieces he filled in from his imagination. It's either this or this is just his mo and these kind of relationships are enough to satisfy him personally. As far as you are concerned the reason is irrelevant as this situation isn't enough for you personally.



This happens often in LD pin pal like relationships. People literally become afraid of the messiness of the real thing. Of this fantasy being popped or of putting the effort to make it a reality. They are afraid of the real thing. The great and not so good of real relationships. I have a friend and the dude picks a fight or allows himself to take something the wrong way so he doesn't feel guilty for pushing her a way. A Gemini with a cancer moon😑

They make excuses and even gaslight themselves to hide this truth for themselves. They are afraid.

It. Also reminds me on why people crap on romantic relationships in Disney movies for giving a unrealistic expectations to young kids.

A more fitting example in this case would be, how some women sit at home, living though their romance books instead of going out and looking for the real thing. This is safer and just as convenient. Scene it sounds like he is actively avoiding real communication( phone or zoom) and physical interaction I would say this is the case.

I would not assume he is aware of why he is doing what he is doing nor that he is consciously using you. It is just you guys clicked that way natural(receptive). I bet his game has made you melt more then once and you enjoyed it too lol

These virtual relationships are addicting to some people. It's on demand and you can pore a lot of energy into each other in bursts. If you restrict contact and from things getting too personal, you keep the relationship from evolving for whatever reason...t's seriously like cloud9 on demand. It's understandable how people can be hooked on this.

Others get stuck at this stage because they get what they needed out of it and afraid of jeopardizing what they currently have going on. Another demographic insecurity and self-esteem issues. I know people in my personal life who have fallen into these traps.

Your assessment oh the situation is correct regardless of the reason. I just love psychology and totally over sharing. He could make room for you in his life. Yet not only has he failed to try, but he is actively avoid real contact with you. Actions speak louder then words.

If your up for it, before you fade away, give him the benefit of a doubt and don't take it personally. Do him a favor and tell him you feelings and thoughts on the relationship as you metaphorically walk away. Assume he is unaware or just speak objectively, tell him your observations in a light hearted manner.

Literally work in " it's too bad this relationship isn't real. I enjoy talking to you. It's been fun."

He is perfectly capable of making it happen in a way you can be ok with. "In the future you are going to have serious trouble holding on to somebody until your willing to make room for them." 🙃

Basically Tell him off and walk away in style



https://image.ibb.co/jOXA4y/Smart_Select_GIF_2018_07_05_21_49_06.gif<div class="bqfade">click to expand

OMG!!! That’s exactly the way things have panned out. I couldn’t put my finger on it, it’s was driving me crazy because I know he’s actually a really awesome guy and that’s why walking away has taken me this long, and I still haven’t done it! I keep thinking I’ll regret it. Trust me, being single for 15 years and living in the Gold Coast I meet on a regular basis total losers, guys that have zero personality.

I’m going to read back through this after work. My friends just keep saying he’s a loser... get rid of him so I now haven’t told them we have still been in contact the last 3 weeks.

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03

I think you are putting pressure on him. Saying your the last girl he will date and saying you have a lifetime connection with him. Way too much! Especially for never meeting. Makes u sound crazy. You don’t actually know him right now. It takes several months of dating to know someone.

Yes... drunk people say crazy things... and yea very hard to retract that but I’m not giving up drinking for any man 😂

Don’t drink text/dial him. I think this is his problem. You’re in 100% and he’s still deciding. The more u push him, the more he pulls away. Men don’t fall in love as easily as woman do. Be patient and allow him to grow interest naturally.

He messages me most of the time when he knows I’m out. We both love football and lately there’s been a lot of playoffs with different codes. We were supposed to watch a game together on Saturday but that was the one he canceled on.

He says he likes it when I’m drinking because he calls it the truth juice, however, I do wonder myself if even though he says that.. it plays a part when he goes cold, inside his own head! I always read back texts the next day and I joke that’s my twin Eleanor.

But yeah thanks, I know men take their time and we are more emotional. It helps when I don’t contact him for a bit... brings me back down to earth.

Hmm try to meet him. That’s the only way to know if it’s going to move past a pen pal. Just be cautious. His actions resemble a noncommittal man.

Yes having been trapped once before... I’m sure he’s scared!

click to expand

Probably! Good luck!!

Posted by sweethearts

For months now I’ve been talking to this guy and feel like we could be a solid couple. We share so many things in common and can laugh and joke around easily. Problem is he runs hot and cold often, just when things are so easy and we are finding more and more to talk about and decide it’s time to meet, he goes ice cold and finds an excuse to not. This has happened 3 times now, he’s says he’s a confident person and he’s shared many pictures of himself and his kids.

I don’t get it, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. I’m not sure what or why he’s holding back. I’ve done some stalking and he is single and doesn’t appear to have anyone in his life. A couple times when I’m on the truth juice (drunk) I’ve confidently said way too much about my intentions and/or referred to our connection as a lifetime partnership. It’s what I’d want from this. For instance, I’ve asked him do I scare him? He says he only dates confident woman. To that I said, you’re only dating one more. He lol’ed.

He seems fine and eagerly chats as normal for a couple days And reaches out to me first... and then goes cold, leaving me bewildered!

What should I do with that? I’m tired of being a pen-friend, I want to meet to see once and for all if there is a real connection and only a meeting will determine that, I have been so patient and waited for him to suggest we meet and then he does and gets excited about it, it excites me....but then I wait and wait for when/where and he doesn’t follow through with any plans. This last time, he was run down and not feeling well... 🙄

Well... As you can see he's hiding something which makes him hesitate. He probably posts pictures of himself when he was younger and more fit or has financial issues which makes meeting you burdensome. Listen to your intuition and pull back. Men are supposed to chase by nature. So he will notice that you have changed. Either way be confrontational and firm on your approach and desired outcome. Closed mouths don't get fed and the truth which causes his hesitation will come to the forefront. Another warning sign you may not have noticed is if he hasn't openly discussed his past relationships there's a reason. Without being judgemental anyone who fails to speak about their past isn't really ready to head towards the future. I hope this helps.

Posted by GemCurioThe1

Posted by sweethearts

For months now I’ve been talking to this guy and feel like we could be a solid couple. We share so many things in common and can laugh and joke around easily. Problem is he runs hot and cold often, just when things are so easy and we are finding more and more to talk about and decide it’s time to meet, he goes ice cold and finds an excuse to not. This has happened 3 times now, he’s says he’s a confident person and he’s shared many pictures of himself and his kids.

I don’t get it, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. I’m not sure what or why he’s holding back. I’ve done some stalking and he is single and doesn’t appear to have anyone in his life. A couple times when I’m on the truth juice (drunk) I’ve confidently said way too much about my intentions and/or referred to our connection as a lifetime partnership. It’s what I’d want from this. For instance, I’ve asked him do I scare him? He says he only dates confident woman. To that I said, you’re only dating one more. He lol’ed.

He seems fine and eagerly chats as normal for a couple days And reaches out to me first... and then goes cold, leaving me bewildered!

What should I do with that? I’m tired of being a pen-friend, I want to meet to see once and for all if there is a real connection and only a meeting will determine that, I have been so patient and waited for him to suggest we meet and then he does and gets excited about it, it excites me....but then I wait and wait for when/where and he doesn’t follow through with any plans. This last time, he was run down and not feeling well... 🙄

Well... As you can see he's hiding something which makes him hesitate. He probably posts pictures of himself when he was younger and more fit or has financial issues which makes meeting you burdensome. Listen to your intuition and pull back. Men are supposed to chase by nature. 👌 So he will notice that you have changed. Either way be confrontational and firm on your approach and desired outcome. Closed mouths don't get fed and the truth which causes his hesitation will come to the forefront. Another warning sign you may not have noticed is if he hasn't openly discussed his past relationships there's a reason. Without being judgemental anyone who fails to speak about their past isn't really ready to head towards the future. I hope this helps.

click to expand

Thanks for the advice. Yes, He’s said little about her but I’ve not asked. All I care about with a guys ex, is if they are on amicable terms. Not interested in baggage and fighting exes or negativity which can cause issues with new relationships. But that sort of convo doesn’t generally happen until after you’ve actually met and contemplating a relationship.

Some of the pictures aren’t flattering, 1 he sent saying he was not feeling well. I think that was sent to see if it made a difference because I do feel he is insecure about his looks.. I also wonder if maybe his ex cheated... just a gut feeling, nothing solid. I am quite intuitive or in tune with it.

Posted by Moon_River

Posted by Hypnotoad

Posted by Moon_River

Posted by Hypnotoad

Posted by Moon_River

Posted by Hypnotoad

Jesus how tf do these dudes manage to string women along like this for so long, I can't even get a reply on Tinder. 🤷‍♂️

I don’t believe you or you are so good looking they just figure they don’t have a chance and move on.

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

I was on Tinder for a day and a half and got like 150 matches but only talked to like 5 of em.

It was lame.

Girls do zero, take basic boring pictures and have no description and expect you to hold a convo.

But im just bitter.

Idk for me the conversations are just hard to have when you are just looking at a profile. Or people just want to hook up and ask for pics and I’m not down for giving 360 shots unless the future of my country depends on it.

click to expand

It was real easy with us because we both were born in NZ but now live in Australia. So we easily connected coming from not only the same country but the same city and grew up similar plus like the same things ie: sports, sense of humour etc

Sounds sketchy. Being so close and haven't even facetimed yet?? umm NO. How come he doesn't want to see you in real time. I'd say he's a catfish. And never arrange meeting with someone you only know thru texts