Dying of painful breakup! Please help!

My ex started signs of breakup by our 1st year anniversary. He blamed it on anxiety because of work although i asked it if it was me. It was a long distant relationship but we met 3-4 days every 2 months and spoke on skype every day for an hour or so.

I traveled (which he paid for like all our travels together) to his country thinking we'd celebrate our anniversary but he gave me the talk of i dont know what i want. Said 3 different things in 30 mnts: i dont love u any more, then i dont know if i do.. and then I love u so much i dont want to feel this towards anyone. I asked him if its a breakup its ok i wont make a scene, but He literally broke down, couldnt breathe and his face became red that i gave him water and told him ok we wont talk about it now. We agreed he will not take a decisiom about breakup until he cools down from anxiety. When he drove me to the airport i had a feeling he was telling me goodbye. He bought me lots of chocolates (which i associated with feeling guilt). As soon as i came back to my country and wanted to skype him he showed he wasn't interested in it. So i offered that we contact less when he said he needs to be isolated and. Ot talk to anyone. I asked about him every couple of days and faced him that im the only one who doesnt talk to on whatsap and hes online most of the time. So he tells me i am not ready for a relationship of any type with anyone. I am scared, i am overwhelmed. I want to be left alone. He's usually not the type who opens up or expresses his feelings so i asked him what is he scared of and he wouldnt tell me. I asked him many times to let me be by his side, as a friend or whatever but let me be there for him even if i do nothing but he would say he wants to be left alone and hes happy being alone and in solitude! He said he doesnt have any explanation to make other than hes not ready for a relationship with anyone and that he would speak to me as long as he doesnt explain. I told me i was an angel, its not me but its him. He would take days off work which he doesnt usually take because he is paid per day and it made me so worried about him. I spoke to his brothers wife and she told me he didnt tell them about the breakup and she couldnt ask knowing hes a discreet person but he looks happy! Im sure she told him what i asked and hes the one who told her to tell me hes happy. Although i told her i wish him the best ans to keep in touch she never replied.

After a few days i broke down and i began a journey of 1 month texting him every 4-5 days asking him not to be like my ex who hurt me so much by disappearing the same way and to give us a chance and let me by his side. He never told me he wishes me well and hes sorry. I told him he never did and asked him to tell me to move on twice if he wants nothing to do with me but everything was unanswered. He saw me suffering in my texts, there are rimes when i told him how happy we both were dont give up on us and then times when i was full of pain how i felt stabbed that he knows hes the only man i dared to trust ans he breaks up with me this very way that he knows has deeply hurt me in the past that i couldnt move on from it for 2 years! He only sent me a happy new year message and thanked me for sending him a birthday message. I had sent him a gift voucher for a life coaching package of 4 sessions that he never claimed. After 1 month and 1 week of sending him a mixture of love, sad, pleading, angry messages that went unanswered i asked him if hed meet me in his country if i travel there. No answer. I asked again, its a very disrespectful break up that will make me not want to be in more relationships that he would help me if he tells me hes sorry to hurt my feelings like this and asks me to move on. No reply!!

Could you please explain to me, he promised me hes not wasting my time and hell never hurt me like my ex did. He knew about all my scars and ended up doing the very same things i told him hurt me. he was the nicest guy ive ever met in my life. Paid for all our travels together ( on the other hand, i always got him many and expensive gifts so i never took advantage) so why would he hate me like this if there wasnt any fight. Why couldnt have been a respectful breakup since he knew about my previous one. And why he didnt, although i told him it would break my back if i he didnt say these words to me: im sorry i hurt ur feelings, move on.

He had told me about his scars when we first met, 2 exes left him. 1 left the house when he was about to propose and never knew why she left and another broke up with him because she was depressed and she didnt want to bring him down with her (they are still friends and caught him whatsapping and skyping with her- he swore theyre just friends and he would never go back to her) . and while breaking up he said he thought he was over it but hes scared of commitment.

Is he hurt.. Is he a coward asshole? Or Revenging his exes through me? Does he really have anxiety? Why did he not saying not even a consoling word when he saw me suffer telling him to help me trick my mind that he broke up respectfully with me? He told me i love u first and his goal was to make me love and trust him and when i did that he broke up with me. Hes a capricorn and im a scorpio if it makes any difference.

Thank u for reading and appreciate any explanation if anyone has any..

Posted by PootyButt
I'm very sorry to say this, but my best guess is that he truly wanted to break up with you. The other stuff he said is because he saw how upset you were and felt bad because he does care about you. He was trying to soften the blow.

You won't die. It's just going to feel like dying for a while. 🤗

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/healing-heartbreak-lessen-pain/

Great read! Thanks for sharing Pooty :-)

you deserve better

Posted by tcta
you deserve better

You do deserve better. A painful breakup feels like dying but you don't, so please don't lose yourself in misery. You're grieving over the future you envisioned with this person. That's natural. There are no shortcuts. I wish you well.

I even offered to remain friends and asked him why hes treating me like an enemy.. no reply.. i asked if i did something or hurt him also nothing.. I really dont know why.. he remained friend with only one ex he used to tell she has a good heart. And he used to tell me i have the most beautiful heart with the best intentions.. and that im the only girl who showed him what love is, others were cold.. why this huge shift? It turned to hate.. do u think hell ever contact me again even if for even friends? I dont want us enemies.. it makes me feel im bad person he had to end it this way..

Im grieving over the trust which he knows i gave only him and the tespect. I told him he has the right to find out he doesnt love me but im trying to end make it a graceful breakup so that noone is hurt. The way he did it makes me feel as if he just threw me out and releived.. that his i love yous were fake.. that he let go soo damn easily when we oromised we wont let go of each other than would break any of us..

I was with a guy who acted much the same way he even had a female friend he swore would only ever be friends with, later I found out he WAS seeing her he even had to admit it. Then when he couldn't have her he came back saying "dont take this the wrong way but I think I'm still in love with you" long story short he was confused and didnt care about my feelings enough to be up front,2 years later he apologized for his behaviour admited his mistakes and said honestly he just didnt care about my feelings back then move on honey I was suicidal over this guy but I got thru it all and i promise you can too xxx

Posted by Winterdawn44
My ex started signs of breakup by our 1st year anniversary. He blamed it on anxiety because of work although i asked it if it was me. It was a long distant relationship but we met 3-4 days every 2 months and spoke on skype every day for an hour or so.

I traveled (which he paid for like all our travels together) to his country thinking we'd celebrate our anniversary but he gave me the talk of i dont know what i want. Said 3 different things in 30 mnts: i dont love u any more, then i dont know if i do.. and then I love u so much i dont want to feel this towards anyone. I asked him if its a breakup its ok i wont make a scene, but He literally broke down, couldnt breathe and his face became red that i gave him water and told him ok we wont talk about it now. We agreed he will not take a decisiom about breakup until he cools down from anxiety. When he drove me to the airport i had a feeling he was telling me goodbye. He bought me lots of chocolates (which i associated with feeling guilt). As soon as i came back to my country and wanted to skype him he showed he wasn't interested in it. So i offered that we contact less when he said he needs to be isolated and. Ot talk to anyone. I asked about him every couple of days and faced him that im the only one who doesnt talk to on whatsap and hes online most of the time. So he tells me i am not ready for a relationship of any type with anyone. I am scared, i am overwhelmed. I want to be left alone. He's usually not the type who opens up or expresses his feelings so i asked him what is he scared of and he wouldnt tell me. I asked him many times to let me be by his side, as a friend or whatever but let me be there for him even if i do nothing but he would say he wants to be left alone and hes happy being alone and in solitude! He said he doesnt have any explanation to make other than hes not ready for a relationship with anyone and that he would speak to me as long as he doesnt explain. I told me i was an angel, its not me but its him. He would take days off work which he doesnt usually take because he is paid per day and it made me so worried about him. I spoke to his brothers wife and she told me he didnt tell them about the breakup and she couldnt ask knowing hes a discreet person but he looks happy! Im sure she told him what i asked and hes the one who told her to tell me hes happy. Although i told her i wish him the best ans to keep in touch she never replied.

After a few days i broke down and i began a journey of 1 month texting him every 4-5 days asking him not to be like my ex who hurt me so much by disappearing the same way and to give us a chance and let me by his side. He never told me he wishes me well and hes sorry. I told him he never did and asked him to tell me to move on twice if he wants nothing to do with me but everything was unanswered. He saw me suffering in my texts, there are rimes when i told him how happy we both were dont give up on us and then times when i was full of pain how i felt stabbed that he knows hes the only man i dared to trust ans he breaks up with me this very way that he knows has deeply hurt me in the past that i couldnt move on from it for 2 years! He only sent me a happy new year message and thanked me for sending him a birthday message. I had sent him a gift voucher for a life coaching package of 4 sessions that he never claimed. After 1 month and 1 week of sending him a mixture of love, sad, pleading, angry messages that went unanswered i asked him if hed meet me in his country if i travel there. No answer. I asked again, its a very disrespectful break up that will make me not want to be in more relationships that he would help me if he tells me hes sorry to hurt my feelings like this and asks me to move on. No reply!!

Could you please explain to me, he promised me hes not wasting my time and hell never hurt me like my ex did. He knew about all my scars and ended up doing the very same things i told him hurt me. he was the nicest guy ive ever met in my life. Paid for all our travels together ( on the other hand, i always got him many and expensive gifts so i never took advantage) so why would he hate me like this if there wasnt any fight. Why couldnt have been a respectful breakup since he knew about my previous one. And why he didnt, although i told him it would break my back if i he didnt say these words to me: im sorry i hurt ur feelings, move on.

He had told me about his scars when we first met, 2 exes left him. 1 left the house when he was about to propose and never knew why she left and another broke up with him because she was depressed and she didnt want to bring him down with her (they are still friends and caught him whatsapping and skyping with her- he swore theyre just friends and he would never go back to her) . and while breaking up he said he thought he was over it but hes scared of commitment.

Is he hurt.. Is he a coward asshole? Or Revenging his exes through me? Does he really have anxiety? Why did he not saying not even a consoling word when he saw me suffer telling him to help me trick my mind that he broke up respectfully with me? He told me i love u first and his goal was to make me love and trust him and when i did that he broke up with me. Hes a capricorn and im a scorpio if it makes any difference.

Thank u for reading and appreciate any explanation if anyone has any..

Posted by PootyButt
I'm very sorry to say this, but my best guess is that he truly wanted to break up with you. The other stuff he said is because he saw how upset you were and felt bad because he does care about you. He was trying to soften the blow.

You won't die. It's just going to feel like dying for a while. 🤗

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/healing-heartbreak-lessen-pain/

It seems like I agree with you after reading a quarter only! Hmmmm

TRUTH IS .... YOU WILL NOT DIE.



Much love ❤

Posted by Winterdawn44
Im grieving over the trust which he knows i gave only him and the tespect. I told him he has the right to find out he doesnt love me but im trying to end make it a graceful breakup so that noone is hurt. The way he did it makes me feel as if he just threw me out and releived.. that his i love yous were fake.. that he let go soo damn easily when we oromised we wont let go of each other than would break any of us..

Painful breakup to be sure. Hugs.

Very sad to read

My < 3 goes out to you

(((hugs)))



😢

He is too coward to read your messages, honey. Stop writing him. Or if you really need to write, paste your letters in this thread, here, instead of sending them to him. By doing so, someone might actually read them! Or you will be reading them years down the line, when happily married with someone else, and be grateful for how things turned up!

Things will get better, I promise you. We've all been there and survived.

My heart goes out to you love! We've all been there. That feeling that you can't go on.. it truly hurts.

With time.. everything will get easier..

Hugs! ?

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by Winterdawn44
I even offered to remain friends and asked him why hes treating me like an enemy.. no reply.. i asked if i did something or hurt him also nothing.. I really dont know why.. he remained friend with only one ex he used to tell she has a good heart. And he used to tell me i have the most beautiful heart with the best intentions.. and that im the only girl who showed him what love is, others were cold.. why this huge shift? It turned to hate.. do u think hell ever contact me again even if for even friends? I dont want us enemies.. it makes me feel im bad person he had to end it this way..

Because he knows that the only reason you wants to be his friend is to ease your way back into his life...

He does not want a relationship with you and no amount of begging and pleading is going to work. Try the 30 day NO CONTACT. It will help you slowly get back to life without him and clarity for yourself.

At least you have closure which is more than most...

click to expand

"Try the 30 day NO CONTACT. "

I like this ^^^ I need to work on that myself.