how to stop obsessing about someone

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by puhleeze on Tuesday, September 13, 2016 and has 28 replies.

How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone Effectively

To stop obsessing about someone, focus on self-care and setting emotional boundaries. Limit your online interactions and avoid stalking their social media. Practice mindfulness and redirect your thoughts to your interests. Remember that feelings fade with time and self-awareness helps break the cycle of obsession.

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@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

the persons thoughts consume you for days. you stalk the person (online of course) and their friends and family and any person they talk to lol. it's crazy all because you fancy this person. there is nothing going on between you two, maybe the person likes you too but hasn't said that to you. how do you stop this obsession madness. it stops after a while when you don't see or talk to the person for days, but then you see them or have a general conversation and it starts again. and if you see them after days and they are talking to someone else, the jealousy and rage oh god. why we think so much when there has been nothing said, just some random clues you are trying to cling to.

Profile picture of Undine
@Undine
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Get a job, get a hobby, get a new friend, get a good book, get a life!

Oh...and delete your FB, Instagram and whatever account you may have.

Simple!

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by puhleeze
the persons thoughts consume you for days. you stalk the person (online of course) and their friends and family and any person they talk to lol. it's crazy all because you fancy this person. there is nothing going on between you two, maybe the person likes you too but hasn't said that to you. how do you stop this obsession madness. it stops after a while when you don't see or talk to the person for days, but then you see them or have a general conversation and it starts again. and if you see them after days and they are talking to someone else, the jealousy and rage oh god. why we think so much when there has been nothing said, just some random clues you are trying to cling to.

what if this person is from your job and not on any of your social accounts?

Profile picture of Undine
@Undine
13 Years5,000+ Posts

The first thing I said "get a job". If your job environment makes you unhealthy, start applying for other jobs.

You said: "you stalk the person (online of course) and their friends and family and any person they talk to lol."

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

i am fine not seeing, talking. but when there is interaction or i see them i obsess for some days and then it fades off and i go back to normal until there is a meeting again. or of course i see them talking with someone else lol

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Undine
The first thing I said "get a job". If your job environment makes you unhealthy, start applying for other jobs.

You said: "you stalk the person (online of course) and their friends and family and any person they talk to lol."

yes, i mean the person is not active on social media so i don't get much out of stalking but i click around seeing what people are in their life. not everyday but the times when i am obsessing ha. usually its just the thoughts for those few days till my mind calms down.

Profile picture of Undine
@Undine
13 Years5,000+ Posts

"how i wish we can tell what the other person is feeling."

Again, simple.

Go to Freetarot.com online. Click on "free tarot reading". Choose "One Card Love Spread" and follow the steps.

Ask as many question as you like, till you get bored. As a side effect, you may discover a new talent. You may even change obsessions 😄

Profile picture of pinkbird03
@pinkbird03
10 Years5,000+ Posts

I have a similar problem, but I don't stalk very much. Only here and there. But I do think about him a lot when I'm not doing anything. Best to keep busy. If you start to think about him, turn the tv on.

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@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by pinkbird03
I have a similar problem, but I don't stalk very much. Only here and there. But I do think about him a lot when I'm not doing anything. Best to keep busy. If you start to think about him, turn the tv on.

yes stalking is not that bad since he is not active on social forums so nothing much to look for. it's not having that get up and talk anytime relation with him and then looking for excuses to talk is what is making it frustrating lol. maybe that is what is also causing the attraction. hope it is same for him too.

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@pinkbird03
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by pinkbird03
I have a similar problem, but I don't stalk very much. Only here and there. But I do think about him a lot when I'm not doing anything. Best to keep busy. If you start to think about him, turn the tv on.

yes stalking is not that bad since he is not active on social forums so nothing much to look for. it's not having that get up and talk anytime relation with him and then looking for excuses to talk is what is making it frustrating lol. maybe that is what is also causing the attraction. hope it is same for him too.

click to expand

If you want to talk, just talk. It might help him feel comfortable talking to you more if you initate it in the beginning.

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by pinkbird03
I have a similar problem, but I don't stalk very much. Only here and there. But I do think about him a lot when I'm not doing anything. Best to keep busy. If you start to think about him, turn the tv on.

yes stalking is not that bad since he is not active on social forums so nothing much to look for. it's not having that get up and talk anytime relation with him and then looking for excuses to talk is what is making it frustrating lol. maybe that is what is also causing the attraction. hope it is same for him too.

If you want to talk, just talk. It might help him feel comfortable talking to you more if you initate it in the beginning.

click to expand

we don't work together on same team or there is not enough reason to hang out so it is difficult to just start talking. sigh.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by puhleeze
i am fine not seeing, talking. but when there is interaction or i see them i obsess for some days and then it fades off and i go back to normal until there is a meeting again. or of course i see them talking with someone else lol

I'm gonna take a stab in the dark. You have strong Scorpio placements?

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

i usually don't think much about anyone until they give some sign. then i am like wow this person thought of me and then the obsessing starts. so they always have to initiate or make some general comment then i start imagining things, until then you can be the most attractive person and i won't have any expectations. usually when you are aloof to someone and not even thinking about them you see them approach you with something. most times i am caught off guard before the obsession begins lol maybe they want you to notice them because you are being aloof.

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@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by puhleeze
i am fine not seeing, talking. but when there is interaction or i see them i obsess for some days and then it fades off and i go back to normal until there is a meeting again. or of course i see them talking with someone else lol

I'm gonna take a stab in the dark. You have strong Scorpio placements?

click to expand

i don't think i have scorpio in my chart. virgo, leo, gemini, aries i guess.

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@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by tiziani
It's because nothing has been said that it becomes harder to not think about it.

If you just talk with them, you'll more than likely find out your connection is normal and mundane. Then you no longer feel the need to fantasise about them.

And in the odd case that the connection turns out to be extraordinary, great.

Either way, you don't look anything by talking with each other. It's nothing but up from here.

this person is not very approachable i mean like for friendly talk. you can just manage a hi hello when there is nothing work related to ask so that makes it more difficult. some people you can just start chatting with and become friends with over time, this person i don't know. i guess will have to wait and see. meantime somebody else might come along who might be able to distract me from him lol

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@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Geminariescharmer
I don't see why not? You like him you get obsessed over him just let it be haha. Follow your heart gal 😉

yes can't stop thoughts from coming. well let them run their own course. maybe time will tell whether the thoughts are mutual or if they were just temporary thoughts.

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by tiziani

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by tiziani
It's because nothing has been said that it becomes harder to not think about it.

If you just talk with them, you'll more than likely find out your connection is normal and mundane. Then you no longer feel the need to fantasise about them.

And in the odd case that the connection turns out to be extraordinary, great.

Either way, you don't look anything by talking with each other. It's nothing but up from here.

this person is not very approachable i mean like for friendly talk. you can just manage a hi hello when there is nothing work related to ask so that makes it more difficult. some people you can just start chatting with and become friends with over time, this person i don't know. i guess will have to wait and see. meantime somebody else might come along who might be able to distract me from him lol

Just remember it's your time and your peace of mind at stake.

I will start talking more with someone and even tell them "I'm doing this because I've been thinking about you". Whether it comes off direct or just weird isn't as important as the fact I'll finally have my peace of mind back after that conversation is done. That's just me though.

click to expand

i agree. i have done that in the past said to someone i just wanted you to know and then never felt like looking back because i was at peace. but the moment just has to come without deciding it. i might blurt it out without thinking. or i might not feel this way anymore.

Profile picture of puhleeze
@puhleeze
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by tiziani

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by tiziani

Posted by puhleeze

Posted by tiziani
It's because nothing has been said that it becomes harder to not think about it.

If you just talk with them, you'll more than likely find out your connection is normal and mundane. Then you no longer feel the need to fantasise about them.

And in the odd case that the connection turns out to be extraordinary, great.

Either way, you don't look anything by talking with each other. It's nothing but up from here.

this person is not very approachable i mean like for friendly talk. you can just manage a hi hello when there is nothing work related to ask so that makes it more difficult. some people you can just start chatting with and become friends with over time, this person i don't know. i guess will have to wait and see. meantime somebody else might come along who might be able to distract me from him lol

Just remember it's your time and your peace of mind at stake.

I will start talking more with someone and even tell them "I'm doing this because I've been thinking about you". Whether it comes off direct or just weird isn't as important as the fact I'll finally have my peace of mind back after that conversation is done. That's just me though.

i agree. i have done that in the past said to someone i just wanted you to know and then never felt like looking back because i was at peace. but the moment just has to come without deciding it. i might blurt it out without thinking. or i might not feel this way anymore.

I understand.

click to expand

turn off for me is when he is trying to get somebody else's attention. if he is chatting with someone that makes me jealous, but if he is trying to grab their attention, i feel angry and want to turn my back on him. lol i know he has no commitment to me and does not even know my thoughts, but that helps me to stay away.