If a man doesn't contact in one week... (Page 2)

Signed Up: Jan 27, 2012
Comments: 4341 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69

Posted by CocoKat
Posted by VenusAquarius
I'm married to the man who took a week to call.

So, I don't know.

Never gave relationships much real practical forethought. I would just fall off into one. And, I used them to love out fantasies for the most part.

me too, my partner did have times where he freaked out a bit but I was and am confident in his love towards me and so I didn't freak out, I just stayed cool and was understanding. The overall tone of the relationship while we where dating was respectful and loving, I never second guessed his feelings towards me. He was and is a gentleman I make sure to give him the space he needs. I do want to state that there is a HUGE difference between a man getting emotionally close and taking distance to breathe before charging ahead and a man who is just not that into you (or) possibly playing a game by disasppearing and starting up with other women, disappearing reappearing trend (this gaming technique is called "Spinning Plates"
click to expand

Personally, I don't care if a man is gaming or not.

I don't expect security from any relationship. What I get is what I get. Either I like it or I don't. I don't volunteer explanations but, I might provide him an explanation if he asks. I don't like explaining myself.

Signed Up: Apr 13, 2005
Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685

Posted by truecap
No, the show didn't state how long she had been dating the guy. So you're right there. If it were a sex on the first date kind of thing, then he doesn't owe her anything.

My statement was based on the fact that I would date a guy for a while before sex. And I would let him to be the one to make the first contact afterward. Emotional security? Perhaps, can't argue that it wouldn't give me a sense of security, because it would, but for me, it's more about dignity and self respect. If it happens, it happens, but I'm not going to go chasing him down begging for attention. It's just my personal thoughts on it.

But, what if the dude felt the same way? What if he felt that it would be chasing her down and begging for attention if he contacted her?

I guess it all boils down to ..... a person cannot treat the other a standard way, because there is no standard of treatment, considering all people are different.

To say that this is how a guy should treat a woman after first fuck is putting an expectation on him to behave a certain way, according to your standards of how (ALL) men are. That seems very discriminative, and irrational.

In the OP, the guy even said to her that he couldn't be just friends with her ... so there is a hidden meaning there. He meant something by that. Was it even addressed? NO !!! This girl was counseled on believing his intent was nefarious, and that could be far from the truth, for alls we know.

This is a one-sided, vague situation that lacks details ... yet, presents itself as being factual in that the guy is deemed the culprit in some nasty deed.

Every person is different ..... there cannot be a standard of expectation on the other person. How can Harvey or any other person state unequivocally that this guy only wants her kitty, by gauging from one-sided testimony?

Women want to think that they are equal to men, but, their not, are they? Not when it comes to emotional security. The woman cannot handle a week of supporting her own feelings?

:::: shakes head ::::

Signed Up: Apr 13, 2005
Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685

Posted by truecap

Girl said "I don't want to get hurt, I think we should keep this in the friend zone".

I also take issue with the above.

If this girl has fucked this guy without establishing her position with him ... then she shouldn't be fucking him.

Furthermore, once he didn't behave according to her expectation ... she lays a guilt trip on him, which attempts to punish him by her making the insinuation that she will keep giving him pussy so long as he abides by her expectations of him.

And that ^^^^ is exactly what the quoted part above suggests. It suggests that since he isn't catering to what she expects of him, then he will be placed in a different category of regard, which by using the term "friend-zone" this category is the removal of sexual favors.

And this is something women do that I've been bitching about for a very long time. They use sex as a tool to manipulate men. Then turn around in their hypocrisy to complain about being treated as a sexual object ..... when it was her all along to put herself in that position.

this woman gave her kitty, then turns around and uses it as a weapon in suggesting she will withhold it from him, if he doesn't cater to her expectation.

Perhaps, the message that was supposed to be conveyed here was on the right tract .... but, it didn't come out that way. Not once she laid a guilt trip on him. At that point, she become the culprit of a nasty deed.

Signed Up: Jan 25, 2012
Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685

I don't know about sex being used as a tool, I'm sure some girls do. You're right on that.
But what if it wasn't? Why assume it is? What if she were the type of girl that is choosy and choose the wrong guy to give it to? What if she refused to see the indications that he was not serious about her?

So many women don't realize that giving your body is a gift. So many give it freely and easily, so neither party is sure how to respond afterward. Our society is more of a "if it feels good do it" society. Chivalry, honor and chastity don't exist like they used to. I'm sure the men are just as messed up social norms, manners, expectations, whatever you want to call it as the women are.

However, many men complain that there aren't enough good women out there and lose out on some good women because they don't know when to recognize when sex is a gift or an act of entertainment. The women giving it as a gift get screwed, the men receiving the gift get screwed, the ones have sex for entertainment win. And I'm not saying there is anything wrong with sex as entertainment and people are afraid to be unfront with each other about that.

I know that has nothing to do with this scenario and there is no way to know whether she gave it as a gift or not and there's no way to know exactly what kind of man he is. I think she had an expectation, which is not necessarily wrong. I would have an expectation, but I would try to read the quality of the man before I decided to have sex with him to see what his character is like. Of course, there is no way to be certain of his quality, and of course, just because a man doesn't feel it and doesn't call doesn't necessarily mean that he has bad quality.

Signed Up: Jan 25, 2012
Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685

P, you did bring up some points I haven't thought of yet.

Signed Up: Apr 13, 2005
Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685

Posted by truecap

.... sex being used as a tool ....

But what if it wasn't? Why assume it is? What if she were the type of girl that is choosy and choose the wrong guy to give it to? What if she refused to see the indications that he was not serious about her?

Because her proclaiming the withholding of it, by virtue of her threatening to change the terms of relating utilizing the usage of sexual contact indicates that she uses sex to get what she wants from him.

Being the type of girl who is choosy falls under 2 categories ....

1. if she was choosy on who she laid then she would have been more discerning and discriminative, who would have established grounds/boundaries. so this issues wouldn't have happened because she would have made sure she was choosing the right person.

or, if she choose the wrong guy because she couldn't see the signs ...

2. would be so blinded by her insecurities (which led her to not recognizing red flags) ... that she would STILL be blind. meaning, there wouldn't be an epiphany YET, it's too early in her delusion. After just one fuck of being with a guy you think is fantastic, wouldn't be enough (yet) to snap her.

One only has to read dxp to see that deluded females are trapped in this ignorance for a very long time, sometimes years.

Furthermore, a choosy woman who had integrity, and merely chose the wrong man because her feelings were involved wouldn't exploit her own self.

Key word, "integrity"

Signed Up: Jan 25, 2012
Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685

Valid point!!

I can't imagine going on a show and exposing all that.

Signed Up: Apr 13, 2005
Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685

If she went on a talk show to tell the world that she fucked a guy without consideration of consequences .... then I don't know how/why any viewing person could get past the cause, to only focus on the aftermath.

The end of her world isn't that she fucked a guy who didn't care about her .... her demise is that she has so little self respect that she doesn't care for herself, in that she doesn't even know to be embarrassed and humiliated.

sad, really ......

FirstDecanTaurianWoman0428

@FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428

11 Years10,000+ Posts

Signed Up: Oct 29, 2014
Comments: 1 · Posts: 16583 · Topics: 222

I don't know how people can go on tv and blast other people or ridicule them. Haha.. I almost wanted to do that Maury show with my ex bff.. oh and that show cheaters..almost and then came to my sense and left him without drama. I just packed my shit and left.