Title says it all for the most part. She was hairstylist for 2 years and I crushed on her hard, I finally made my move when I knew she was available and swept her off her feet things were amazing between us! I’m a Taurus, she’s a Leo. We got a long great, until I had life issues. Somewhat of a snowball effect, I started to smoke a lot of pot and it totally altered my mind and my personality(I was doing so because I was starting to run into a lot of life stress, used marijuana to cope) I became pretty closed off, in terms of just not opening myself up much to her and being very emotionally available because of the turmoil I was creating in my own head( terms of moving states to be closer with to my family due to my schooling getting finished up, job losses during covid, and oddly enough I made it a point to try and convince her whole family to move states with me they were 50/50 on it she wouldn’t move alone was the case) she was scared I was going to up and leave her, I severely abused the marijuana for MONTHS, and left myself in this mental battle with myself and never really knew what to tell her and I knew it was draining her because I think she thought I was going to leave, not matter how much I reassured her I wasn’t going to, she would say she felt like the only thing holding me back. Right after Christmas she ended it with me and I sunk deeper into depression, I had just lost both my dogs the month previous, I was stressed out, I was extremely stoned to try and escape my problems and the same week a good friend of mine hung himself and an aunt passed away. I was not in a good place, and for awhile. 4 months later now basically, I’ve been doing work on myself, figuring out what I want which path to take and put an end to the marijuana use. I’m doing tremendously better mentally for the most part, the weed did a lot of damage, but shes telling me she 100% physically and mentally doesn’t want to be with me again. She’s upset because I wasn’t allowing the deeper connection to happen between us and says our relationship was almost more of a friendship and I wasn’t very romantic and open with her, obviously. I also had an issue for a while with one of my testicles and the dentist had messed up one of my nerves and I couldn’t stick my tongue out really without incredible pain, so the sex wasn’t really there. But when we would I would defiantly try, she was upset because I wasn’t pursing her more. I completely understand where she’s coming from and how she feels, I just hate that I feel like my situation I was dealing with is something unimportant to her or she over looks it maybe, doesn’t take it into consideration. I really want to get back with her but she told me it’s been 4 months now and she’s ready to move on. We were amazing together at the beginning we never were mean to each other but when I try to talk to her about us now it’s almost like she’s angry if I bring it up and shuts me down with it, we’ll talk every now and than usually over Snapchat texts, she sent me one of the memory things the other week, I’m really not sure what to do here
