JuneGeminiGirl
@JuneGeminiGirl
7 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 209 · Topics: 14
Philophobia- is this really a THING?
Yes I think everybody has this when they have rebounds
Cap Venus
Moon in Aqua with Cap placements and Sag too
Posted by Squishy_MarshmallowGood question, I do know that men don’t always become emotionally attached as women do, I do believe he was emotionally attached.Posted by JuneGeminiGirl
“Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia.”
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Question
Would you say he was emotionally attached to you before you guys were physically intimate? As in did you guys experience emotional intimacy before sex?
click to expandclick to expand
Posted by AfternoonDelights22Agreed, but this sounds like an extreme case that cases physical symtoms.
Yes I think everybody has this when they have rebounds
Posted by RooSagicornMoon in Aqua with Cap....so true!Posted by MyStarsShine
Moon in Aqua with Cap placements and Sag too
Oh come on now!! Not true. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by Squishy_MarshmallowWe will agree to disagree then MissPosted by MyStarsShine
Moon in Aqua with Cap placements and Sag too
I have to disagree on this, star.
Something like this, we have to look at the chart in it's entirety. Rulership/dispositors of love/intimacy houses
and their aspects willl factor in a lot and the person's life experiences as such which could be looked up from their progressions and transists must be considered.
There are so many people with these placements who have made intimate connections. This isn't about placements,imo. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by PleistoanaxWho said inferior?Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by RooSagicornPosted by MyStarsShine
Moon in Aqua with Cap placements and Sag too
Oh come on now!! Not true. click to expand
Moon in Aqua with Cap....so true! click to expand
No, it might not be your thing or way of love but it's not inferior. Just different. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by RooSagicornWhat about the men though with these placements?Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by RooSagicornPosted by MyStarsShine
Moon in Aqua with Cap placements and Sag too
Oh come on now!! Not true. click to expand
Moon in Aqua with Cap....so true! click to expand
Im sag sun, aqua moon, Cap Mercury, Venus, mars! Relationship girl 😂 click to expandclick to expand
Posted by Squishy_MarshmallowIt was a slow fade, he would reply to me if I were to reach out to him but does not seem to want to see me. He is 46 and yes, I agree he should know he has this issue. I am not sure why he even shared that with anyone, maybe in hopes I would find out that is the reason he faded on me...Posted by JuneGeminiGirlDid he do the slow fade after sex or was it abrupt?Posted by Squishy_MarshmallowPosted by JuneGeminiGirl
“Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia.”
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Question
Would you say he was emotionally attached to you before you guys were physically intimate? As in did you guys experience emotional intimacy before sex?
click to expand
Good question, I do know that men don’t always become emotionally attached as women do, I do believe he was emotionally attached. click to expand
I mean someone who has this issue would know it. How old is he? If this is an ongoing issue wouldn't he have been aware?
I'm not sure. I will read up on this. click to expandclick to expand
Sounds like an excuse people would make to keep doing the "pump and dump" thing.
Posted by DolluxxeI have thought of that too...🤔🤔🤔🤔
Sounds like an excuse people would make to keep doing the "pump and dump" thing.
Actually I think he was embarrassed because the sex was wack, he came in less than 2 minutes.🤣🤣🤣
Posted by PleistoanaxNo, never labelled them weak or inferior, but detached and somewhat commitment phobicPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by PleistoanaxPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by RooSagicornPosted by MyStarsShine
Moon in Aqua with Cap placements and Sag too
Oh come on now!! Not true. click to expand
Moon in Aqua with Cap....so true! click to expand
No, it might not be your thing or way of love but it's not inferior. Just different. click to expand
Who said inferior? click to expand
Aye, might have been the wrong word.
We are talking about something that might border on the pathological here and you are pretty vocal when it come to condeming Aquas while labeling them as weak.
Saying someone deserves better than an Aqua also implies a some inferiority.
That's why I spoke out and phrased it the way I have. click to expandclick to expand
Free spirits
Posted by JuneGeminiGirlWell whatever his reason for doing that to you doesn't matter. Lesson learned and do not waste any more of your precious time on this man.Posted by Dolluxxe
Sounds like an excuse people would make to keep doing the "pump and dump" thing.
I have thought of that too...🤔🤔🤔🤔
Actually I think he was embarrassed because the sex was wack, he came in less than 2 minutes.🤣🤣🤣 click to expandclick to expand
No. It's not a real thing. Get real.
Posted by JuneGeminiGirlEveryone has an attachment style , and he may very well have one that makes it harder for him from fully trust others, believe they will either be there for him or that's he's worthy of attention/affection.
“Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia.”
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
I don't know, when someone just makes a blanket statement about what's going on with them and makes little to no effort to work on it, to me it's akin to realizing you have a leak in your ceiling, searching the whole house and finally finding the source of the leak and then say "okay there it is" and then simply walk away leaving the pipe to continue to leak and ruin your home.
Whatever you choose to call it, it's an excuse.
Posted by Squishy_Marshmallow
A single placement will NOT determine something as serious as this!!!
No single answer will determine something as "serious" (not all that serious) as this either. The list is endless as to why he choose to bounce. Point is he did. Why doesn't really matter if a person doesn't want to stick around.
Posted by Squishy_MarshmallowPosted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Squishy_Marshmallow
A single placement will NOT determine something as serious as this!!!
No single answer will determine something as "serious" (not all that serious) as this either. The list is endless as to why he choose to bounce. Point is he did. Why doesn't really matter if a person doesn't want to stick around.
click to expand
If it was Philophobia, wouldn't it be something serious for the person who struggles to make connections? I addressed it assuming it was Philophobia, tbh I was keen on learning about the guy and the reason for his detachment (doesn't seem like Philophobia so I lost interest) than about OPs situation.click to expand
I was mostly teasing you. You get so excited and your response made me giggle with all three exclamation points lol.
Anways, to address your question we have very different ideas of what is "serious". I don't tend to get all that work up over other people's issue especially when the actually person in question would rather sip a rum and coke out in Aruba rather than deal with said issue.
Posted by DolluxxePosted by JuneGeminiGirlPosted by Dolluxxe
Sounds like an excuse people would make to keep doing the "pump and dump" thing.
I have thought of that too...🤔🤔🤔🤔
Actually I think he was embarrassed because the sex was wack, he came in less than 2 minutes.🤣🤣🤣 click to expand
Well whatever his reason for doing that to you doesn't matter. Lesson learned and do not waste any more of your precious time on this man. click to expandclick to expand
I stopped that a while ago....😎
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by JuneGeminiGirl
“Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia.”
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Everyone has an attachment style , and he may very well have one that makes it harder for him from fully trust others, believe they will either be there for him or that's he's worthy of attention/affection.
I don't know, when someone just makes a blanket statement about what's going on with them and makes little to no effort to work on it, to me it's akin to realizing you have a leak in your ceiling, searching the whole house and finally finding the source of the leak and then say "okay there it is" and then simply walk away leaving the pipe to continue to leak and ruin your home.
Whatever you choose to call it, it's an excuse.
click to expandclick to expand
We are like minds, if there is a problem why would you not want to work on it, if nothing more than to improve your quality of life. If something is broken it needs fixing. At this point it comes across as an excuse to continue to be BROKEN with no intention of fixing what is BROKEN so they stay BROKE.
Posted by PleistoanaxThat sounds philophobia to me.Posted by AerialView
Cap Venus
No necessarily.
Cap Venus is always either in or out.
Once it is emotionally invested it sticks and fights for it 'till death.
If Cap Venus isn't interested it most likely wouldn't have come to sex. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by PleistoanaxPosted by AerialView
Cap Venus
No necessarily.
Cap Venus is always either in or out.
Once it is emotionally invested it sticks and fights for it 'till death.
If Cap Venus isn't interested it most likely wouldn't have come to sex. click to expandclick to expand
I agree.
Aqua with cap Venus got a really bad reputation in the aqua bord for being anticomitment but I don’t agree.
Posted by Squishy_MarshmallowPosted by JuneGeminiGirlPosted by PhoenixRisingPosted by JuneGeminiGirl
“Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia.”
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Everyone has an attachment style , and he may very well have one that makes it harder for him from fully trust others, believe they will either be there for him or that's he's worthy of attention/affection.
I don't know, when someone just makes a blanket statement about what's going on with them and makes little to no effort to work on it, to me it's akin to realizing you have a leak in your ceiling, searching the whole house and finally finding the source of the leak and then say "okay there it is" and then simply walk away leaving the pipe to continue to leak and ruin your home.
Whatever you choose to call it, it's an excuse.
click to expand
We are like minds, if there is a problem why would you not want to work on it, if nothing more than to improve your quality of life. If something is broken it needs fixing. At this point it comes across as an excuse to continue to be BROKEN with no intention of fixing what is BROKEN so they stay BROKE. click to expand
Yep. It is an excuse. Not sure if it is an excuse to stay broken but it seems like an excuse to walk away without much guilt. click to expandclick to expand
I'm not sure people like to stay broken, but some sure do make a lot of excuses to avoid the the responsibility of working on their stuff. Perhaps it's easier in some ways.
One of the most commitment phobic people I know is in his mid 30s and until now has never had a gf. He is a musician and gorgeous...lots of women after him, but doesn't want commitment ... he has been seeing a lovely lady for the past few months. I saw them together and she is very warm to him and he doesn't seem to reciprocate. I think she is a Scorp lol
His placements are Sun, Moon, Mercury in Sag, Venus and Mars in Aqua and Jupiter and ascendant in Cap
There is something about the combo of those three signs that shout detached to me
He still lives with mum
His placements are Sun, Moon, Mercury in Sag, Venus and Mars in Aqua and Jupiter and ascendant in Cap
There is something about the combo of those three signs that shout detached to me
He still lives with mum
Posted by Arielle83What about people who say they have an issue? He told someone he has this issue...🤔
I wouldn’t go diagnosing people who reject you.
Posted by Arielle83Thank you for your insight with less SHADE. Rejection is a part of life, I have been there before and have even been the rejector. I do it in a level of tact that does not demean or leave the person wondering. I am not hurt just wanting to grow and do life better in the future.Posted by JuneGeminiGirlPosted by Arielle83
I wouldn’t go diagnosing people who reject you.
What about people who say they have an issue? He told someone he has this issue...🤔 click to expand
Most ppl avoid attachment to ppl when they don’t feel a strong connection.
Him saying he has this issue is his way of pushing the responsibility off him. He might not have been that into you or considered u a serious investment.
If you’re trying to assign a psychological issue to his decision to not be with you, it looks like you’re hurt over the rejection.
Not everyone wants a serious relationship right away. That stuff takes time.
It sounds like he just wants to be free right now.
Maybe he’ll find an attachment when he meets someone with a connection he finds stronger. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by JuneGeminiGirlOmg, this might be me. 😏😏😏
“Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia.”
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
I have had some pretty bad experience when it comes to relationships. I've always had an issue with verbally attaching. Emotionally I commit and attach, I just can't say it out loud.
I posted about my own issues recently on the Gem board. I'm terrified of being vulnerable and allowing myself to fall in love. I hate it, I feel like my hopeless romantic side is gone. I'm not a bitter person, I believe in love but I have a huge wall to break down.
Cap rising, Gemini Sun, Scorpio Moon, Venus Cancer.
I posted about my own issues recently on the Gem board. I'm terrified of being vulnerable and allowing myself to fall in love. I hate it, I feel like my hopeless romantic side is gone. I'm not a bitter person, I believe in love but I have a huge wall to break down.
Cap rising, Gemini Sun, Scorpio Moon, Venus Cancer.
I feel the advancement of technology, and the fact we can easily get by solo has a huge part to play in it. For me I'm so used to being solo and having no need for other humans whatsoever, it makes me feel like investing in a human is something that might not prove beneficial in the long run. Why invest my time and money in another human who will likely fail within the first few months when I can buy the latest technology that will last many years, and give me more subliminal serotonin and dopamine? What is human connection? What is love? All the new gen knows is staring straight into the screen of artificial technology. To have the latest and most upgraded form of synthetic machinery that gives me all the command I could ever want is true love. The weakness of a mortal human. The devil would be proud.
Posted by SpaceBirdAWESOME INSIGHT...THANK YOU! I too have studied Psychology with not as in dept as I see you have, I agree the admitting you have a problem is the first step to find help or some sort of resolve. He is in his 40's, life is short and I truly hope he seeks to get the help he needs to have an emotional healthy life and one day find love without fear.
Yes it's a thing.
It usually means they have been damaged in early childhood.
It's called Reactive attachment disorder.
There are lots of different types ...
avoidant attachment disorder (parents are unavailable ....think of the parents that drop kids off at the nannies in the morning and return in the evening ..then spend the whole time on the phone or go out drinking ....then go golfing at weekends ...then go on separate holidays ..kids will have few or no memories of spending time with one or both parents early in life you will ask ...and they will literally go ..uh ..yeah...um it's like they blank)
Ambivalent or insecure attachment disorder (Anxious attachment style ....over emotional with primary care givers ..usually due to the over emotional behavior of those people....anxious with parent absent ...and nervous or stressed around parent) insecure attachment is what it's usually called. Mom or dad or both is very anxious ...kid mirrors or doesn't realize what's wrong thinks there is a reason to be anxious ..or can't handle the anxious stressed parent all the time.
disorganized attachment disorder...(parents or a loved one displayed erratic or frightening or even frightened behavior during moments of stress with their kid or as an adult)
It's not that these people don't seek attachment ...they sometimes desperately do ....obsessively..
Secure attachment is the normal healthy type...
The good thing is ..HE HAS ADMITTED TO HIMSELF HE HAS AN ISSUE AND EVEN BETTER HE HAS SPOKEN ABOUT THIS WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
That is a HUGE step.
Posted by SoulI could not agreed more, technology has eliminated the humanity in humans. 😢
I feel the advancement of technology, and the fact we can easily get by solo has a huge part to play in it. For me I'm so used to being solo and having no need for other humans whatsoever, it makes me feel like investing in a human is something that might not prove beneficial in the long run. Why invest my time and money in another human who will likely fail within the first few months when I can buy the latest technology that will last many years, and give me more subliminal serotonin and dopamine? What is human connection? What is love? All the new gen knows is staring straight into the screen of artificial technology. To have the latest and most upgraded form of synthetic machinery that gives me all the command I could ever want is true love. The weakness of a mortal human. The devil would be proud.
Posted by OCJackProblem with that theory is in the first sentence.Posted by Soul
I feel the advancement of technology, and the fact we can easily get by solo has a huge part to play in it. For me I'm so used to being solo and having no need for other humans whatsoever, it makes me feel like investing in a human is something that might not prove beneficial in the long run. Why invest my time and money in another human who will likely fail within the first few months when I can buy the latest technology that will last many years, and give me more subliminal serotonin and dopamine? What is human connection? What is love? All the new gen knows is staring straight into the screen of artificial technology. To have the latest and most upgraded form of synthetic machinery that gives me all the command I could ever want is true love. The weakness of a mortal human. The devil would be proud.
Nah, that isn't a /problem/. It wasn't a problem for the T-Rex, and isn't a problem for the Honey Badger.
The problem is that we are evolving to shift from 1 end of the spectrum of social cohesion to the complete opposite. As primates, like the vast majority of life-forms on earth... we started out on the Co-Dependent side. However Consciousness itself, is the ultimate pinnacle of Individual Agency. So because we are so /wholly/ self-aware. Everything we do actively, is a 100% /chosen/ action on part of our conscious agency.
This transition unto itself and where we are going to end up, is /fine/. The problem/difficulty is simply, actually making the transition in the first place. We have to learn how to integrate our qualities and needs that developed from previous co-dependent systems and situations, into systems and behaviors that are shifting into completely Independent ones.
So that we don't, just become "alone" or lack /team-work/. There still has to be some semblance of /cohesion/ among a species with such high individual independence. Trexs still meet up after crossing vast distances, to reproduce. Honey badgers do the same. For humans, an intelligence species, it will be more complicated than this and we will still always /group up/ into communities. We are only increasing our individuality within our abilities and identity.
The problem is, this makes Love a much less "automatic" thing. Over time it becomes increasingly impossible to find someone who happens to be a "perfect match". So we will have to start basing our conception of love, on something other than natural impulses, desires, and sensations. It's going to have to become purely /cerebral/, and purely based on /choice/.
Like, we're not a "perfect match" or whatever. But we have both chosen within our high level of consciousness... that the other person is the person we are going to group up with, mate with, and perpetually aspire to higher and higher levels of "sync" and cohesion. So that, there won't come a time where we are instead with someone else. But rather, we are cementing that our 2 individual identities are /fixed/ as "these 2 people come together". Specifically, these 2 people. When you see person A, you know person B is "with" them, and vice versa.
click to expandclick to expand
The Rex and honey badger couldn't create technology that surpassed themselves. They were programmed to just reproduce, eat, and survive. For humans however our creations have distracted us from what it means to be a form of life. Which I personally don't disagree with, because there are too many humans. The less we reproduce the better for everything on this planet. Humans had no right to try and maintain a population above
500,000,000.
Posted by OCJackYes, we were meant to explore space travel. And all the resources we need are right here in our solar system.Posted by Soul
The Rex and honey badger couldn't create technology that surpassed themselves. They were programmed to just reproduce, eat, and survive.
Intelligence and the things that it produces, is nothing more than another manifestation within Evolution. No different from how some life has Wings but others do not, etc. Intelligence, Technology, etc. Is no different than having another apendage that other species simply did not develop yet.
For humans however our creations have distracted us from what it means to be a form of life.
No it hasn't, it has done the complete opposite. It's ridiculous to act like, technology is the blasphemy to nature... when logically speaking even something like a Video Game has infinitely more valuable than anything in "primal nature". It's like laughing at the Genius that does complex mathematics, for not worshipping taking a butter.
The less we reproduce the better for everything on this planet. Humans had no right to try and maintain a population above
500,000,000.
Except... you know... humans aren't some kind of "great evil" for infringing upon the well being of other species by preserving and growing their own well being. That is something /every/ species on the face of the planet does, even the passive herbivores. Because "nature" is an inherent competition where my existence inevitably infringes upon yours, because if I didn't exist. There would be more resources for you to have. Survival of the fittest, is the Law of Life. Natural Selection, is what Life does.
If anything, technology is changing that /for the better/. As we learn to take control of it and better things for everyone... including other species.
Plus, there's an unfathomable amount of planets, solar systems, galaxies, and universes. Space itself is unfathomably vast, and the universe has a 1 googol year lifespan. But you think over 500 million population is some sort of cosmic offense. As if it hasn't been made painstakingly clear by the design of the universe, that we were always /meant/ to invent Space Travel which inevitably requires Technology, and to ultimately populate the rest of the universe?
click to expandclick to expand
The cold hard truth is we will never even get to see a glimpse of it if people infest the earth and burn its resources faster then we can progress to even explore a moon of Jupiter. Hell we hardly even know shit about mars yet. Humans have the capability to advance greatly in the universe. But they also have the capability to waste all their resources and become equivalent to the dinosaurs at the same time. We are smart enough to move away from this planet, but also dumb enough to completely destroy it before moving out even became a thing. That boils down to population. The more people, the faster we kill this planet, our great discoveries, and ourselves.
The earth has the ability to rejuvenate and heal itself, but that requires a balance with nature. If we kill the earth we kill ourselves. Humans haven't even figured out how to harness the power of the earths rotation yet. Which would be more power then anything we've created ourselves. If we kill the earth due to over population that kind of power will never become a reality, and we will never expand farther then a man in a space suit walking on the moon.
Posted by JuneGeminiGirl
“Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia.”
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Definitely it’s a real thing. I’m going to give you two example.
Through several sessions of therapy I was forced to look at the emotional trauma I’ve endured in life from childhood abandonment and losing love to sudden death. I subconsciously handle ppl with no desire to connect with them. I’m nice to them but in conversations where they want to share personal info, I tune out. I’m happiest not caring and when ppl share then it creates bonds, bonds I don’t care to have. My therapist says deep down it’s the fear of being abandoned.
I dated a man few years back who was middle age, self sufficient, financially responsible, single, no kids, Never married, who had it so bad that he would Become almost child like or disappear if the discussion of emotions having to do with him came up. He had a very negative outlook on relationships and marriages. When I first met him he told me that he was damaged and needed to lay on someone’s couch (therapy). If he ever did, he never shared it with me and in the end I saw that he really was a damaged man.
Posted by JuneGeminiGirli think that only happens if u fear abandonment...and that u dont feel the deep security of someone's feelings...like they are playing u and u yourself love them too much cause u already know ur own feelings
“Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia.”
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
but for them, they keep their cards close to their hearts and u feel so insecure because of the lack of response and love back.
Posted by SpaceBirdMy therapist diagnosed me with avoidant attachment disorder. Attaching to ppl overwhelms me and gives me anxiety, the love that I lost to death gave me security and the kind of love that made up for the love I didn’t get from my dad. After he died I developed anxiety and feared dating. I tried it, fell in love and he constantly abandoned me when it came to emotions. As long as I didn’t express my love for him I was safe from being abandoned. Very damaging situation. It’s best for ppl to address their attachment issues before getting romantically involved or more damage will be done. It’s also not easy to heal.
Yes it's a thing.
It usually means they have been damaged in early childhood.
It's called Reactive attachment disorder.
There are lots of different types ...
avoidant attachment disorder (parents are unavailable ....think of the parents that drop kids off at the nannies in the morning and return in the evening ..then spend the whole time on the phone or go out drinking ....then go golfing at weekends ...then go on separate holidays ..kids will have few or no memories of spending time with one or both parents early in life you will ask ...and they will literally go ..uh ..yeah...um it's like they blank)
Ambivalent or insecure attachment disorder (Anxious attachment style ....over emotional with primary care givers ..usually due to the over emotional behavior of those people....anxious with parent absent ...and nervous or stressed around parent) insecure attachment is what it's usually called. Mom or dad or both is very anxious ...kid mirrors or doesn't realize what's wrong thinks there is a reason to be anxious ..or can't handle the anxious stressed parent all the time.
disorganized attachment disorder...(parents or a loved one displayed erratic or frightening or even frightened behavior during moments of stress with their kid or as an adult)
It's not that these people don't seek attachment ...they sometimes desperately do ....obsessively..
Secure attachment is the normal healthy type...
The good thing is ..HE HAS ADMITTED TO HIMSELF HE HAS AN ISSUE AND EVEN BETTER HE HAS SPOKEN ABOUT THIS WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
That is a HUGE step.
Posted by LeoGurlzThank you for sharing your experiences, it is very hard for me to understand fear in reference to love. I know I have back away from some guys when they came on too strong too quickly but my vibe with the guy I posted about was mutual until we became intimate...I guess that may have triggered something that created fear. 🤔Posted by JuneGeminiGirlDefinitely it’s a real thing. I’m going to give you two example.
“Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia.”
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Through several sessions of therapy I was forced to look at the emotional trauma I’ve endured in life from childhood abandonment and losing love to sudden death. I subconsciously handle ppl with no desire to connect with them. I’m nice to them but in conversations where they want to share personal info, I tune out. I’m happiest not caring and when ppl share then it creates bonds, bonds I don’t care to have. My therapist says deep down it’s the fear of being abandoned.
I dated a man few years back who was middle age, self sufficient, financially responsible, single, no kids, Never married, who had it so bad that he would Become almost child like or disappear if the discussion of emotions having to do with him came up. He had a very negative outlook on relationships and marriages. When I first met him he told me that he was damaged and needed to lay on someone’s couch (therapy). If he ever did, he never shared it with me and in the end I saw that he really was a damaged man.
click to expandclick to expand
Posted by SpaceBirdBetter then going to Hell I guess.Posted by SoulPosted by OCJackPosted by Soul
The Rex and honey badger couldn't create technology that surpassed themselves. They were programmed to just reproduce, eat, and survive.
Intelligence and the things that it produces, is nothing more than another manifestation within Evolution. No different from how some life has Wings but others do not, etc. Intelligence, Technology, etc. Is no different than having another apendage that other species simply did not develop yet.
For humans however our creations have distracted us from what it means to be a form of life.
No it hasn't, it has done the complete opposite. It's ridiculous to act like, technology is the blasphemy to nature... when logically speaking even something like a Video Game has infinitely more valuable than anything in "primal nature". It's like laughing at the Genius that does complex mathematics, for not worshipping taking a butter.
The less we reproduce the better for everything on this planet. Humans had no right to try and maintain a population above
500,000,000.
Except... you know... humans aren't some kind of "great evil" for infringing upon the well being of other species by preserving and growing their own well being. That is something /every/ species on the face of the planet does, even the passive herbivores. Because "nature" is an inherent competition where my existence inevitably infringes upon yours, because if I didn't exist. There would be more resources for you to have. Survival of the fittest, is the Law of Life. Natural Selection, is what Life does.
If anything, technology is changing that /for the better/. As we learn to take control of it and better things for everyone... including other species.
Plus, there's an unfathomable amount of planets, solar systems, galaxies, and universes. Space itself is unfathomably vast, and the universe has a 1 googol year lifespan. But you think over 500 million population is some sort of cosmic offense. As if it hasn't been made painstakingly clear by the design of the universe, that we were always /meant/ to invent Space Travel which inevitably requires Technology, and to ultimately populate the rest of the universe?
click to expand
Yes, we were meant to explore space travel. And all the resources we need are right here in our solar system.
The cold hard truth is we will never even get to see a glimpse of it if people infest the earth and burn its resources faster then we can progress to even explore a moon of Jupiter. Hell we hardly even know butter about mars yet. Humans have the capability to advance greatly in the universe. But they also have the capability to waste all their resources and become equivalent to the dinosaurs at the same time. We are smart enough to move away from this planet, but also dumb enough to completely destroy it before moving out even became a thing. That boils down to population. The more people, the faster we kill this planet, our great discoveries, and ourselves.
The earth has the ability to rejuvenate and heal itself, but that requires a balance with nature. If we kill the earth we kill ourselves. Humans haven't even figured out how to harness the power of the earths rotation yet. Which would be more power then anything we've created ourselves. If we kill the earth due to over population that kind of power will never become a reality, and we will never expand farther then a man in a space suit walking on the moon. click to expand
I love that this thread went into outer space. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by SpaceBirdOne of the things I realized in my journey is that there are people that have these issues and just aren’t aware or it’s lying dormant. In some of these cases they go out they develop relationships with others and then they cause damage to them. Hurt ppl hurt ppl.Posted by LeoGurlzPosted by SpaceBird
Yes it's a thing.
It usually means they have been damaged in early childhood.
It's called Reactive attachment disorder.
There are lots of different types ...
avoidant attachment disorder (parents are unavailable ....think of the parents that drop kids off at the nannies in the morning and return in the evening ..then spend the whole time on the phone or go out drinking ....then go golfing at weekends ...then go on separate holidays ..kids will have few or no memories of spending time with one or both parents early in life you will ask ...and they will literally go ..uh ..yeah...um it's like they blank)
Ambivalent or insecure attachment disorder (Anxious attachment style ....over emotional with primary care givers ..usually due to the over emotional behavior of those people....anxious with parent absent ...and nervous or stressed around parent) insecure attachment is what it's usually called. Mom or dad or both is very anxious ...kid mirrors or doesn't realize what's wrong thinks there is a reason to be anxious ..or can't handle the anxious stressed parent all the time.
disorganized attachment disorder...(parents or a loved one displayed erratic or frightening or even frightened behavior during moments of stress with their kid or as an adult)
It's not that these people don't seek attachment ...they sometimes desperately do ....obsessively..
Secure attachment is the normal healthy type...
The good thing is ..HE HAS ADMITTED TO HIMSELF HE HAS AN ISSUE AND EVEN BETTER HE HAS SPOKEN ABOUT THIS WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
That is a HUGE step.
My therapist diagnosed me with avoidant attachment disorder. Attaching to ppl overwhelms me and gives me anxiety, the love that I lost to death gave me security and the kind of love that made up for the love I didn’t get from my dad. After he died I developed anxiety and feared dating. I tried it, fell in love and he constantly abandoned me when it came to emotions. As long as I didn’t express my love for him I was safe from being abandoned. Very damaging situation. It’s best for ppl to address their attachment issues before getting romantically involved or more damage will be done. It’s also not easy to heal. click to expand
I'm really sorry ..yeah this is the type of story you hear about from people who suffer from it. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by JuneGeminiGirlYou’re welcome. Chances are it might have triggered something. Give him his space and time; let him come back to you. If that happens, have that talk to understand what happened to make him shift way and lay out your ground rules on what’s acceptable treatment and behavior for your needs.Posted by LeoGurlzPosted by JuneGeminiGirl
“Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia.”
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Definitely it’s a real thing. I’m going to give you two example.
Through several sessions of therapy I was forced to look at the emotional trauma I’ve endured in life from childhood abandonment and losing love to sudden death. I subconsciously handle ppl with no desire to connect with them. I’m nice to them but in conversations where they want to share personal info, I tune out. I’m happiest not caring and when ppl share then it creates bonds, bonds I don’t care to have. My therapist says deep down it’s the fear of being abandoned.
I dated a man few years back who was middle age, self sufficient, financially responsible, single, no kids, Never married, who had it so bad that he would Become almost child like or disappear if the discussion of emotions having to do with him came up. He had a very negative outlook on relationships and marriages. When I first met him he told me that he was damaged and needed to lay on someone’s couch (therapy). If he ever did, he never shared it with me and in the end I saw that he really was a damaged man.
click to expand
Thank you for sharing your experiences, it is very hard for me to understand fear in reference to love. I know I have back away from some guys when they came on too strong too quickly but my vibe with the guy I posted about was mutual until we became intimate...I guess that may have triggered something that created fear. 🤔 click to expandclick to expand
If he gives the same reason he gave his friends then you have to decide if that’s a journey you want to go on. I suggest only going back if he takes the initiative and necessary efforts to address and heal from his issues; you take the route of supporting him. If you just jump back In trying to fix him or prove to him your worth or even push him to “change”, you will exhaust yourself and become defeated. Best of luck to you!
Posted by LeoGurlzThanks again :-)Posted by JuneGeminiGirlPosted by LeoGurlzPosted by JuneGeminiGirl
“Philophobia: The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. The risk is usually when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love but also can be chronic phobia.”
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Definitely it’s a real thing. I’m going to give you two example.
Through several sessions of therapy I was forced to look at the emotional trauma I’ve endured in life from childhood abandonment and losing love to sudden death. I subconsciously handle ppl with no desire to connect with them. I’m nice to them but in conversations where they want to share personal info, I tune out. I’m happiest not caring and when ppl share then it creates bonds, bonds I don’t care to have. My therapist says deep down it’s the fear of being abandoned.
I dated a man few years back who was middle age, self sufficient, financially responsible, single, no kids, Never married, who had it so bad that he would Become almost child like or disappear if the discussion of emotions having to do with him came up. He had a very negative outlook on relationships and marriages. When I first met him he told me that he was damaged and needed to lay on someone’s couch (therapy). If he ever did, he never shared it with me and in the end I saw that he really was a damaged man.
click to expand
Thank you for sharing your experiences, it is very hard for me to understand fear in reference to love. I know I have back away from some guys when they came on too strong too quickly but my vibe with the guy I posted about was mutual until we became intimate...I guess that may have triggered something that created fear. 🤔 click to expand
You’re welcome. Chances are it might have triggered something. Give him his space and time; let him come back to you. If that happens, have that talk to understand what happened to make him shift way and lay out your ground rules on what’s acceptable treatment and behavior for your needs.
If he gives the same reason he gave his friends then you have to decide if that’s a journey you want to go on. I suggest only going back if he takes the initiative and necessary efforts to address and heal from his issues; you take the route of supporting him. If you just jump back In trying to fix him or prove to him your worth or even push him to “change”, you will exhaust yourself and become defeated. Best of luck to you! click to expandclick to expand
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
After six weeks most people start to adjust to life without their ex, but it can take up to three months to feel back to normal, sources say.
Now is this with no contact? What if they keep texting you ect...,
What do you think—?
Someone here sa
If you don't let go of your unhappiness you'll never find your happiness...
Let go of what no longer serves you.
So here is the predicament I have myself in right now. What would you do?
I have guy friend that I've known for years, we went out on a couple of dates when we very first met many years ago but because of some weird circumstances it didn't go anywhere.
Alllllll since elementary moon square venus
What's your 1 favorite quality about you?!!!
Be cocky .. be proud.
I have a sensitive nose especially for bad breathe and probably due to having had gum disease myself and understanding that it’s a sign of the disease however I’ve noticed a lot of people have it too. It’s hard to keep a conversation when you’re trying to
1) If there were no STDs and AIDS. How many people would you sleep with?
2) And looking at the realistic perspective of how things are now. How many people would you actually sleep with?
I hope my question is clear.
The last guy I was with used to travel from another country to be with me....two planes and a train journey and later on I would fly out to meet him. There was no doubt he didn't want to be with me. He once said to me "Wild horses couldn't drag me away fr
Sometimes, when I express to my boyfriend how I feel he gets all offended or hurt and then it makes me feel bad sometimes.
Last night I was telling him how if a landlord wants to charge us extra rent for owning a dog imma call them out for trying to ear
Between "i love you/him/her" and "i have love for you/him/her" ?
About 6 weeks ago I posted about a guy I’d recently met that was moving very fast into a relationship with me. I’m happy to report we’re an official couple. The 17 year age difference isn’t any problem (he’s 49 and I’m 31). The sex is great, he treats me
Can you take it back once it's been said?
What if both partners agree it was said too soon ?
Quick back story: My bf and I said it super early into the relationship. Recently we have been having a blast together and he has been very "loving" towar
What does being romantic means to you?
What does it mean when a guy says i am not romantic at all ?
My boyfriend recently has been working very long inconvenient hours. Mostly 3 p.m. to 3 a.m. in the city so it takes them 2 hours to get there and get home. His dishes and laundry are really piling up at his apartment and I know it's making him a little d
It seems like most of my relationships start off the same way...we meet, have a connection, see each other more and more, I have a "this one is not like the rest. He's different" thought, we make it official or we don't, I start to show interest, he show
Had a few dates and going well, we’ve slept together but still feels early stages still. She’s sent me a photo of herself. Any good responses? I don’t want it to be too over the top, but I still want it to be nice.
I broke up with someone i was with for 4-5 months after realizing they were inconsistent and didn't have any genuine care/love for me. I did have real feelings for this person. However, I am proud of myself for realizing this disconnect, respecting myself
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/05/11/woman-accused-stalking-sending-65-000-texts-man-she-met-online/601217002/
Arizona woman accused of sending 65,000 text messages after first date with man she met online
PHOENIX --- An Arizona w
A few months back I started dating a guy I REALLY liked and the feelings were mutual, he said he liked me and was treating me really well. Long story short after we became intimate (only once) the communication began to disparate and eventually completely stopped when I finally decided to give up. A few weeks ago he went on a trip to Aruba with a group of people, one who was a friend of a friend who told my friend he was alone and really quiet but did share that he has “ATTACHMENT ISSUES.”. I started to read up on Philophobia and I swear he is textbook to what was described.
Does anyone think Philophobia is really a thing? I am a bit on the fence about it. YOUR THOUGHTS 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔