To all the women here...

To all the women here;

would you date a man that has severe depression?

As long as he was willing to work through it and let me help him, yes.

Posted by Reciprocity8

As long as he was willing to work through it and let me help him, yes.

nope can't trust that - been there ... oh so willing to work through everything but it was 11 years later and he hadn't worked effectively on any of his issues - I helped him so much but he turned me into the bad guy after all because he was still twisted - which by that time, I was happy to step up to the plate and divorce his ass which later he said that's not what he wanted but that is exactly what he got and I got my freedom

Posted by Noaddic

To all the women here;

would you date a man that has severe depression?

No, and HELL no! Ex-bf (Saggy David) was in the Air Force and went to Desert Shield/Desert Storm. He himself told me, "I am moody and suffer from depression". When he chastised my son a second time, I packed my shit, and told him it was over!



🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Reciprocity8

As long as he was willing to work through it and let me help him, yes.

nope can't trust that - been there ... oh so willing to work through everything but it was 11 years later and he hadn't worked effectively on any of his issues - I helped him so much but he turned me into the bad guy after all because he was still twisted - which by that time, I was happy to step up to the plate and divorce his ass which later he said that's not what he wanted but that is exactly what he got and I got my freedom

click to expand

Completely understandable. Some people don't genuinely want to get better, and they have no qualms with dragging people down with them. Even my therapist insists that I solely date men who've no history of mental illness...because I'm inherently a "fixer". It's not that, actually. I just see the potential in everyone. Cap nature.

The key differentiation is: can they see it within themselves? Do they know they're worthy of love? Are they willing to put in the work to meet their potential?

If the answer to any of the aforementioned questions is "no", I'll make my peace and be on my way.

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Reciprocity8

As long as he was willing to work through it and let me help him, yes.

nope can't trust that - been there ... oh so willing to work through everything but it was 11 years later and he hadn't worked effectively on any of his issues - I helped him so much but he turned me into the bad guy after all because he was still twisted - which by that time, I was happy to step up to the plate and divorce his ass which later he said that's not what he wanted but that is exactly what he got and I got my freedom

Completely understandable. Some people don't genuinely want to get better, and they have no qualms with dragging people down with them. Even my therapist insists that I solely date men who've no history of mental illness...because I'm inherently a "fixer". It's not that, actually. I just see the potential in everyone. Cap nature.

The key differentiation is: can they see it within themselves? Do they know they're worthy of love? Are they willing to put in the work to meet their potential?

If the answer to any of the aforementioned questions is "no", I'll make my peace and be on my way.

click to expand

I totally agree about seeing potential in people and that is most likely what happened with my approach - however, the answer to those questions is always yes until the dust settles and the actual work begins. One can want something but not always able to actually go through with it and obtain. My advice is to wait a very, very long time before truly getting into a relationship/marriage with someone who has these problems because you need to really know them - and their potential (not what they tell you is their potential). Actions not words is key.

Damn.. I'mma be single forever.

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Reciprocity8

As long as he was willing to work through it and let me help him, yes.

nope can't trust that - been there ... oh so willing to work through everything but it was 11 years later and he hadn't worked effectively on any of his issues - I helped him so much but he turned me into the bad guy after all because he was still twisted - which by that time, I was happy to step up to the plate and divorce his ass which later he said that's not what he wanted but that is exactly what he got and I got my freedom

Completely understandable. Some people don't genuinely want to get better, and they have no qualms with dragging people down with them. Even my therapist insists that I solely date men who've no history of mental illness...because I'm inherently a "fixer". It's not that, actually. I just see the potential in everyone. Cap nature.

The key differentiation is: can they see it within themselves? Do they know they're worthy of love? Are they willing to put in the work to meet their potential?

If the answer to any of the aforementioned questions is "no", I'll make my peace and be on my way.

I totally agree about seeing potential in people and that is most likely what happened with my approach - however, the answer to those questions is always yes until the dust settles and the actual work begins. One can want something but not always able to actually go through with it and obtain. My advice is to wait a very, very long time before truly getting into a relationship/marriage with someone who has these problems because you need to really know them - and their potential (not what they tell you is their potential). Actions not words is key.

click to expand

I absolutely agree. In my ex-husband's case, he told me things were fine and that he was happy, but I knew he wasn't. Where I drew the line and was less willing to be patient and understanding, was when I realized his mental illness was affecting my daughter's conditioning and quality of life.

Lesson: the line should have been drawn when it was adversely affecting me and he made no attempt to get better.

nope. its not a relationship. it's some twisted co-dependency.

I have high-functioning major depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Am I a great catch? I am.

Am I destructive/hurtful to men? I'm not.

Does being in a relationship with me require some patience and understanding? Absolutely.

I posted this so you could see what severe depression may look like. It's not the ominous beast society has made it out to be.

Posted by Reciprocity8

I have high-functioning major depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Am I a great catch? I am.

Am I destructive/hurtful to men? I'm not.

Does being in a relationship with me require some patience and understanding? Absolutely.

I posted this so you could see what severe depression may look like. It's not the ominous beast society has made it out to be.

Same.

If I didn't openly talk about my depression, most would have no clue I suffer from it.

Posted by Noaddic

To all the women here;

would you date a man that hassevere depression?

Dating should be his last priority. Any man I would be attracted to, would know that.

Posted by Reciprocity8

I have high-functioning major depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Am I a great catch? I am.

Am I destructive/hurtful to men? I'm not.

Does being in a relationship with me require some patience and understanding? Absolutely.

I posted this so you could see what severe depression may look like. It's not the ominous beast society has made it out to be.

are you in a relationship?

i don't think it's an ominous beast but i do think that you cannot give your best to a partner while dealing with severe mental health issues. and i say this as someone who suffered with severe depression and anxiety for many years.

New person? No.

If I was dating someone and they became depressed? Yes.. unless i'm the reason for that depression HAHA.

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by Reciprocity8

I have high-functioning major depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Am I a great catch? I am.

Am I destructive/hurtful to men? I'm not.

Does being in a relationship with me require some patience and understanding? Absolutely.

I posted this so you could see what severe depression may look like. It's not the ominous beast society has made it out to be.

Same.

If I didn't openly talk about my depression, most would have no clue I suffer from it.

click to expand

Me neither. It's a strong personality trait to not bother others with your problems, I find.

Yet it feels weird when those who cry about it everywhere get recognition while you're like.. Hey I've got it too..

Posted by jeane

Posted by Reciprocity8

I have high-functioning major depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Am I a great catch? I am.

Am I destructive/hurtful to men? I'm not.

Does being in a relationship with me require some patience and understanding? Absolutely.

I posted this so you could see what severe depression may look like. It's not the ominous beast society has made it out to be.

are you in a relationship?

i don't think it's an ominous beast but i do think that you cannot give your best to a partner while dealing with severe mental health issues. and i say this as someone who suffered with severe depression and anxiety for many years.

click to expand

I'm not. And with that rationale, all people dealing with mental health issues would be written off for life, no? Not all mental illnesses are situational or temporary; you are not magically healed with a pill, a few years of CBT, or a TED Talk. You do, however, learn to function as best as you can. That's where I'm at.

Giving "your best" is very individualized. Sometimes, "giving your best", is actually trying to put forth the effort to work through these things. Not only for yourself, but for those around you.

Posted by jeane

Posted by Reciprocity8

I have high-functioning major depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Am I a great catch? I am.

Am I destructive/hurtful to men? I'm not.

Does being in a relationship with me require some patience and understanding? Absolutely.

I posted this so you could see what severe depression may look like. It's not the ominous beast society has made it out to be.

are you in a relationship?

i don't think it's an ominous beast but i do think that you cannot give your best to a partner while dealing with severe mental health issues.

click to expand

Right, it is about balance. Someone is giving more than the other in this dynamic. More in terms of energy, care, support, focus, attention. In most cases, the person struggling with depression may either feel they need to shield their partner from it out of fear of "dragging that person down", or need to pretend to be "okay" etc when they aren't. They can not be themselves and work through things as they need to and at their own pace all because they need to "be" something/present for their partner.

Relationship already come with their issues, most are minor. My feelings on the matter would be very different if I am already involved with the person and life shifts, as it often does. However I am not starting with a major challenge off the bat.

how would I know if the person has a severe depression?

I think the word depression is overused by people who are just not satisfied with their life, so others dont take it seriously, as they should, until it ruins their life for years, trying to help the person who dont really want help or cant be helped

very sad, it must be hell for the person who has it, and a much greater hell for the person who wants to help

love cant cure everything, sadly

Posted by stillstillwater

Yes.. unless i'm the reason for that depression HAHA.

Lol.

Posted by Noaddic

Me neither. It's a strong personality trait to not bother others with your problems, I find.

Yet it feels weird when those who cry about it everywhere get recognition while you're like.. Hey I've got it too..

Hmph. Do you think you can fully give in a relationship when you feel sharing this part of yourself is a "bother"?

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by jeane

Posted by Reciprocity8

I have high-functioning major depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Am I a great catch? I am.

Am I destructive/hurtful to men? I'm not.

Does being in a relationship with me require some patience and understanding? Absolutely.

I posted this so you could see what severe depression may look like. It's not the ominous beast society has made it out to be.

are you in a relationship?

i don't think it's an ominous beast but i do think that you cannot give your best to a partner while dealing with severe mental health issues. and i say this as someone who suffered with severe depression and anxiety for many years.

I'm not. And with that rationale, all people dealing with mental health issues would be written off for life, no? Not all mental illnesses are situational or temporary; you are not magically healed with a pill, a few years of CBT, or a TED Talk. You do, however, learn to function as best as you can. That's where I'm at.

Giving "your best" is very individualized. Sometimes, "giving your best", is actually trying to put forth the effort to work through these things. Not only for yourself, but for those around you.

click to expand

i'm going to have to disagree. giving my best to a partner is not inflicting my illness upon them. not dating them, not being a relationship with them. my illness is not their cross to bear. i'm not going to say, "here get involved with me so i can work through things because in some way it will benefit you". fuck that. to me, that's incredibly selfish.

relationships to me is about giving. when i was in the grips of anxiety and depression, i couldn't think about anyone else and their needs. it would have been impossible to have been a good partner.

it's not fair to do that to someone (a stranger, not a family member) who could find happiness with a person who isn't dealing with something as overwhelming as depression can be. another person has no obligation to enter in relationship with someone with stage 4 cancer, or is morbidly obese or likewise, has severe depression.

Posted by Noaddic

To all the women here;

would you date a man that has severe depression?

I’m dating one right now.

So, yes.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by Noaddic

Me neither. It's a strong personality trait to not bother others with your problems, I find.

Yet it feels weird when those who cry about it everywhere get recognition while you're like.. Hey I've got it too..

Hmph. Do you think you can fully give in a relationship when you feel sharing this part of yourself is a "bother"?

click to expand

Well it's a bother to me so why wouldn't it be for someone else?



But seriously though, I agree with you. I won't hide that for my SO

How the f do I post a gif? This is awkward.

This all depends on the level of depression. If they are relying on me to be their emotional crutch solely, and to feed their confidence. Or if I am the main target for their emotional outlet, than I would say HARD PASS.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by jeane

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by jeane

Posted by Reciprocity8

I have high-functioning major depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Am I a great catch? I am.

Am I destructive/hurtful to men? I'm not.

Does being in a relationship with me require some patience and understanding? Absolutely.

I posted this so you could see what severe depression may look like. It's not the ominous beast society has made it out to be.

are you in a relationship?

i don't think it's an ominous beast but i do think that you cannot give your best to a partner while dealing with severe mental health issues. and i say this as someone who suffered with severe depression and anxiety for many years.

I'm not. And with that rationale, all people dealing with mental health issues would be written off for life, no? Not all mental illnesses are situational or temporary; you are not magically healed with a pill, a few years of CBT, or a TED Talk. You do, however, learn to function as best as you can. That's where I'm at.

Giving "your best" is very individualized. Sometimes, "giving your best", is actually trying to put forth the effort to work through these things. Not only for yourself, but for those around you.

i'm going to have to disagree. giving my best to a partner is not inflicting my illness upon them. not dating them, not being a relationship with them. my illness is not their cross to bear. i'm not going to say, "here get involved with me so i can work through things because in some way it will benefit you". fuck that. to me, that's incredibly selfish.

relationships to me is about giving. when i was in the grips of anxiety and depression, i couldn't think about anyone else and their needs.

it's not fair to do that to someone (a stranger, not a family member) who could find happiness with a person who isn't dealing with something as overwhelming as depression can be. another person has no obligation to enter in relationship with someone with stage 4 cancer, or is morbidly obese or likewise, has severe depression.

Ther's ppl who can handle it tho

click to expand

maybe but why? i would question anyone who would willing enter something like that. i'll go back to what i said initially, it's a twisted co-dependence.

just like someone who marries an morbidly obese person or enters into a relationship with someone who is dying. something is not healthy in that dynamic.

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by Noaddic

To all the women here;

would you date a man that has severe depression?

Don't do this, for your own sake. You should work through whatever you are going through first.

Adding another person to the equation will only make things worse for everyone involved. You would put yourself up for something you can't win and where you can do nothing right.

click to expand

Yes

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by jeane

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by jeane

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by jeane

Posted by Reciprocity8

I have high-functioning major depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Am I a great catch? I am.

Am I destructive/hurtful to men? I'm not.

Does being in a relationship with me require some patience and understanding? Absolutely.

I posted this so you could see what severe depression may look like. It's not the ominous beast society has made it out to be.

are you in a relationship?

i don't think it's an ominous beast but i do think that you cannot give your best to a partner while dealing with severe mental health issues. and i say this as someone who suffered with severe depression and anxiety for many years.

I'm not. And with that rationale, all people dealing with mental health issues would be written off for life, no? Not all mental illnesses are situational or temporary; you are not magically healed with a pill, a few years of CBT, or a TED Talk. You do, however, learn to function as best as you can. That's where I'm at.

Giving "your best" is very individualized. Sometimes, "giving your best", is actually trying to put forth the effort to work through these things. Not only for yourself, but for those around you.

i'm going to have to disagree. giving my best to a partner is not inflicting my illness upon them. not dating them, not being a relationship with them. my illness is not their cross to bear. i'm not going to say, "here get involved with me so i can work through things because in some way it will benefit you". fuck that. to me, that's incredibly selfish.

relationships to me is about giving. when i was in the grips of anxiety and depression, i couldn't think about anyone else and their needs.

it's not fair to do that to someone (a stranger, not a family member) who could find happiness with a person who isn't dealing with something as overwhelming as depression can be. another person has no obligation to enter in relationship with someone with stage 4 cancer, or is morbidly obese or likewise, has severe depression.

Ther's ppl who can handle it tho

maybe but why? i would question anyone who would willing enter something like that. i'll go back to what i said initially, it's a twisted co-dependence.

just like someone who marries an morbidly obese person or enters into a relationship with someone who is dying. something is not healthy in that dynamic.

That's assuming that things will always go down one way alone without any variation or free will, which isn't the case.

When things get triggered in some way, which will happen at some point, it's up to the person involved how they handle it which can be for the better or worse like every normal relationship.

Most people with chronic depression have an adjustment period, usually in their twenties, and after that, if they have found a way to deal with it, are pretty normal to the point where they might be even more resilient than "normal" people. There are quite a number of indicators that hint at the potential fact that deviant mental states play a major role for social development and keeping societies together.

I don't want to glorify anything but to assume that any form of mental illness always follows the same rule or development while influencing everything about a person simply isn't true. Most problems and conflicts will not much different from the normal ones.

click to expand

the initial question was about severe depression, not chronic depression.

here is the nhs definition of severe depression

"makes it almost impossible to get through daily life; a few people with severe depression may have psychotic symptoms"

this is not about triggers, or coping mechanisms or being resilient. its about not being able to function.

here are some symptoms of depression

continuous low mood or sadness

feeling hopeless and helpless

having low self-esteem

feeling guilt-ridden

feeling irritable and intolerant of others

having no motivation or interest in things

finding it difficult to make decisions

having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself

some physical symptoms

moving or speaking more slowly than usual

changes in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased)

lack of energy

low sex drive (loss of libido)

disturbed sleep – for example, finding it difficult to fall asleep at night or waking up very early in the morning

The social symptoms of depression include:

not doing well at work

avoiding contact with friends and taking part in fewer social activities

neglecting your hobbies and interests

having difficulties in your home and family life

if someone suffers from this where they are unable to get through daily life, i struggle to imagine that they will be a contributing partner in a loving and healthy relationship. heaven forbid that the couple falls pregnant and child is then brought into the mix.

i'm not saying people with mild to moderate depression are unworthy. of course not. i still struggle from time to time and i get through with the patience and understanding of my partner but for someone with severe mental illness who cannot eat, bathe, sleep, look after themselves, leave the house, cannot have a meaningful conversation - not for a day or a week but for months on end - has problems and conflicts beyond what it is normally shared between two people in a relationship.

It was about severe and chronic tbh. Should've added that in the post

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by jeane

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by jeane

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by jeane

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by jeane

Posted by Reciprocity8

I have high-functioning major depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Am I a great catch? I am.

Am I destructive/hurtful to men? I'm not.

Does being in a relationship with me require some patience and understanding? Absolutely.

I posted this so you could see what severe depression may look like. It's not the ominous beast society has made it out to be.

are you in a relationship?

i don't think it's an ominous beast but i do think that you cannot give your best to a partner while dealing with severe mental health issues. and i say this as someone who suffered with severe depression and anxiety for many years.

I'm not. And with that rationale, all people dealing with mental health issues would be written off for life, no? Not all mental illnesses are situational or temporary; you are not magically healed with a pill, a few years of CBT, or a TED Talk. You do, however, learn to function as best as you can. That's where I'm at.

Giving "your best" is very individualized. Sometimes, "giving your best", is actually trying to put forth the effort to work through these things. Not only for yourself, but for those around you.

i'm going to have to disagree. giving my best to a partner is not inflicting my illness upon them. not dating them, not being a relationship with them. my illness is not their cross to bear. i'm not going to say, "here get involved with me so i can work through things because in some way it will benefit you". fuck that. to me, that's incredibly selfish.

relationships to me is about giving. when i was in the grips of anxiety and depression, i couldn't think about anyone else and their needs.

it's not fair to do that to someone (a stranger, not a family member) who could find happiness with a person who isn't dealing with something as overwhelming as depression can be. another person has no obligation to enter in relationship with someone with stage 4 cancer, or is morbidly obese or likewise, has severe depression.

Ther's ppl who can handle it tho

maybe but why? i would question anyone who would willing enter something like that. i'll go back to what i said initially, it's a twisted co-dependence.

just like someone who marries an morbidly obese person or enters into a relationship with someone who is dying. something is not healthy in that dynamic.

That's assuming that things will always go down one way alone without any variation or free will, which isn't the case.

When things get triggered in some way, which will happen at some point, it's up to the person involved how they handle it which can be for the better or worse like every normal relationship.

Most people with chronic depression have an adjustment period, usually in their twenties, and after that, if they have found a way to deal with it, are pretty normal to the point where they might be even more resilient than "normal" people. There are quite a number of indicators that hint at the potential fact that deviant mental states play a major role for social development and keeping societies together.

I don't want to glorify anything but to assume that any form of mental illness always follows the same rule or development while influencing everything about a person simply isn't true. Most problems and conflicts will not much different from the normal ones.

the initial question was about severe depression, not chronic depression.

here is the nhs definition of severe depression

"makes it almost impossible to get through daily life; a few people with severe depression may have psychotic symptoms"

this is not about triggers, or coping mechanisms or being resilient. its about not being able to function.

here are some symptoms of depression

continuous low mood or sadness

feeling hopeless and helpless

having low self-esteem

feeling guilt-ridden

feeling irritable and intolerant of others

having no motivation or interest in things

finding it difficult to make decisions

having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself

some physical symptoms

moving or speaking more slowly than usual

changes in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased)

lack of energy

low sex drive (loss of libido)

disturbed sleep – for example, finding it difficult to fall asleep at night or waking up very early in the morning

The social symptoms of depression include:

not doing well at work

avoiding contact with friends and taking part in fewer social activities

neglecting your hobbies and interests

having difficulties in your home and family life

if someone suffers from this where they are unable to get through daily life, i struggle to imagine that they will be a contributing partner in a loving and healthy relationship. heaven forbid that the couple falls pregnant and child is then brought into the mix.

i'm not saying people with mild to moderate depression are unworthy. of course not. i still struggle from time to time and i get through with the patience and understanding of my partner but for someone with severe mental illness who cannot eat, bathe, sleep, look after themselves, leave the house, cannot have a meaningful conversation - not for a day or a week but for months on end - has problems and conflicts beyond what it is normally shared between two people in a relationship.

Severe depression, by definition, is also always a phase. Never a perpetual state. If someone is in that state he should be given professional help on a stationary level. That's pretty much undisputable. Speaking about longterm however this kind will eventually settle with one of the more moderate forms as the "normal" level with the occasional peak of the severe depression. What I described applies to this "normal" state.

click to expand

then we are talking about two different things.

you're talking about moderate depression. i'm thinking about a person who is in the phase of severe depression and the legitimacy of dating them.

Depends on the man

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by jeane

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by jeane

Posted by Antiochus

Posted by jeane

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by jeane

Posted by Reciprocity8

Posted by jeane

Posted by Reciprocity8

I have high-functioning major depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Am I a great catch? I am.

Am I destructive/hurtful to men? I'm not.

Does being in a relationship with me require some patience and understanding? Absolutely.

I posted this so you could see what severe depression may look like. It's not the ominous beast society has made it out to be.

are you in a relationship?

i don't think it's an ominous beast but i do think that you cannot give your best to a partner while dealing with severe mental health issues. and i say this as someone who suffered with severe depression and anxiety for many years.

I'm not. And with that rationale, all people dealing with mental health issues would be written off for life, no? Not all mental illnesses are situational or temporary; you are not magically healed with a pill, a few years of CBT, or a TED Talk. You do, however, learn to function as best as you can. That's where I'm at.

Giving "your best" is very individualized. Sometimes, "giving your best", is actually trying to put forth the effort to work through these things. Not only for yourself, but for those around you.

i'm going to have to disagree. giving my best to a partner is not inflicting my illness upon them. not dating them, not being a relationship with them. my illness is not their cross to bear. i'm not going to say, "here get involved with me so i can work through things because in some way it will benefit you". fuck that. to me, that's incredibly selfish.

relationships to me is about giving. when i was in the grips of anxiety and depression, i couldn't think about anyone else and their needs.

it's not fair to do that to someone (a stranger, not a family member) who could find happiness with a person who isn't dealing with something as overwhelming as depression can be. another person has no obligation to enter in relationship with someone with stage 4 cancer, or is morbidly obese or likewise, has severe depression.

Ther's ppl who can handle it tho

maybe but why? i would question anyone who would willing enter something like that. i'll go back to what i said initially, it's a twisted co-dependence.

just like someone who marries an morbidly obese person or enters into a relationship with someone who is dying. something is not healthy in that dynamic.

That's assuming that things will always go down one way alone without any variation or free will, which isn't the case.

When things get triggered in some way, which will happen at some point, it's up to the person involved how they handle it which can be for the better or worse like every normal relationship.

Most people with chronic depression have an adjustment period, usually in their twenties, and after that, if they have found a way to deal with it, are pretty normal to the point where they might be even more resilient than "normal" people. There are quite a number of indicators that hint at the potential fact that deviant mental states play a major role for social development and keeping societies together.

I don't want to glorify anything but to assume that any form of mental illness always follows the same rule or development while influencing everything about a person simply isn't true. Most problems and conflicts will not much different from the normal ones.

the initial question was about severe depression, not chronic depression.

here is the nhs definition of severe depression

"makes it almost impossible to get through daily life; a few people with severe depression may have psychotic symptoms"

this is not about triggers, or coping mechanisms or being resilient. its about not being able to function.

here are some symptoms of depression

continuous low mood or sadness

feeling hopeless and helpless

having low self-esteem

feeling guilt-ridden

feeling irritable and intolerant of others

having no motivation or interest in things

finding it difficult to make decisions

having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself

some physical symptoms

moving or speaking more slowly than usual

changes in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased)

lack of energy

low sex drive (loss of libido)

disturbed sleep – for example, finding it difficult to fall asleep at night or waking up very early in the morning

The social symptoms of depression include:

not doing well at work

avoiding contact with friends and taking part in fewer social activities

neglecting your hobbies and interests

having difficulties in your home and family life

if someone suffers from this where they are unable to get through daily life, i struggle to imagine that they will be a contributing partner in a loving and healthy relationship. heaven forbid that the couple falls pregnant and child is then brought into the mix.

i'm not saying people with mild to moderate depression are unworthy. of course not. i still struggle from time to time and i get through with the patience and understanding of my partner but for someone with severe mental illness who cannot eat, bathe, sleep, look after themselves, leave the house, cannot have a meaningful conversation - not for a day or a week but for months on end - has problems and conflicts beyond what it is normally shared between two people in a relationship.

Severe depression, by definition, is also always a phase. Never a perpetual state. If someone is in that state he should be given professional help on a stationary level. That's pretty much undisputable. Speaking about longterm however this kind will eventually settle with one of the more moderate forms as the "normal" level with the occasional peak of the severe depression. What I described applies to this "normal" state.

then we are talking about two different things.

you're talking about moderate depression. i'm thinking about a person who is in the phase of severe depression and the legitimacy of dating them.

Yes, absolutely, although chronic depression is far from being "moderate".

The thing is that no one probably would be able to "date" someone in that state as those either completly vanish during that phase by completly turning into a potatoe or would be so weird that everyone who doesn't know them would simply run away.

What I said was under the impression that the potential dating would go on for at least some months and not just a short period of time which a severe depression would last. Hence my commentary about the more "normal" state as an addition. My apologies for the confusion.

click to expand

chronic describes duration

moderate is a qualifier of the severity.

severe depression can last for years.

as you can see, some people here are saying they would date someone with severe depression.

i don't get it either.