Why Don't Women 'Stalk' When Interested?

'Stalk' may be a strong word but I couldn't find a better one. So if you're interested in someone, why don't you (a) try to be around that person as often as possible, (b) try to lurk out as much information about that person as possible, and (c) finding out what he does and where he does it in order to bump into him 'by accident' to enable further possibilities for interaction, etc.

Without being too obvious about any it of course, no one likes a familiar face popping up everywhere they look, but you know what I mean. You girls really suck at showing interest, it's as if you're even trying to hide it from yourselves? What's up with that?

Do you use any form of positive reinforcement at all when it comes to guys, or do you just hide and hope they will meet you on your side of the bridge?

In my experience, Aries girls are the only ones who've been upfront about constantly 'wanting to be around me', which I took as them being open for my advances, which they were. But as for the rest of of you, this is pretty much the only "mystery" left that puzzles me about women.

I guess it could be a cultural thing since where I'm from originally, women are definitely more aggressive and competetive.

I do "stalk" if I'm interested. I do b & c but without the "bumping" part lol. I avoid people I'm interested in, but I like watching them from a distance & gathering info, just to be sure that they aren't jerks or players.

Posted by MellyMel909
Been there, done that. IME and IMO, guys that expect women to be the aggressor in relationships are usually not "aggressive" in most other areas of life either.

So, the guy that you have to ask out, is also usually the guy that you have: pick up (cause they don't have a car), pay for (cause they don't have "enough money"), and have over to your place all the time (cause they live with their parents).

I'm fine with sharing the burden once in a committed relationship, but I think initially, men should signal their interest by pursuing and women signal it by being receptive to the advances. Granted, everyone's different, but from experience: if a woman starts out doing all the leg work, it's only gonna snowball from there. Whereas if a man does most of the pursuing in the beginning, it ends up much more balanced several months in.

+Infinity!

I do (b) for sure, as I'm an internet addict.
I do (a) for sure.
I do (c) so long as the situation feels like it came about naturally.

I used to think that's what all us girls do, but I guess not.

--> --> I have Venus in Aries.

Spot on MellyMel. I will reciprocate but the man MUST be a man and the aggressor. I'm not attracted to submissive men who do no work. It's very unattractive to me. MellyMel basically said exactly what I was thinking 100%

Posted by MellyMel909
Been there, done that. IME and IMO, guys that expect women to be the aggressor in relationships are usually not "aggressive" in most other areas of life either.

So, the guy that you have to ask out, is also usually the guy that you have: pick up (cause they don't have a car), pay for (cause they don't have "enough money"), and have over to your place all the time (cause they live with their parents).

I'm fine with sharing the burden once in a committed relationship, but I think initially, men should signal their interest by pursuing and women signal it by being receptive to the advances. Granted, everyone's different, but from experience: if a woman starts out doing all the leg work, it's only gonna snowball from there. Whereas if a man does most of the pursuing in the beginning, it ends up much more balanced several months in.

Bingo, this a brilliant summation..

Posted by MellyMel909
... but I think initially, men should signal their interest by pursuing and women signal it by being receptive to the advances.

+1

But that's what I'm wondering-- why do women rarely practice positive reinforcement when they are into someone? A couple of smiles here and there don't qualify and positive reinforcement!

Posted by MellyMel909
Been there, done that. IME and IMO, guys that expect women to be the aggressor in relationships are usually not "aggressive" in most other areas of life either.

So, the guy that you have to ask out, is also usually the guy that you have: pick up (cause they don't have a car), pay for (cause they don't have "enough money"), and have over to your place all the time (cause they live with their parents).

I'm fine with sharing the burden once in a committed relationship, but I think initially, men should signal their interest by pursuing and women signal it by being receptive to the advances. Granted, everyone's different, but from experience: if a woman starts out doing all the leg work, it's only gonna snowball from there. Whereas if a man does most of the pursuing in the beginning, it ends up much more balanced several months in.

While the description of the man in this post is going to be unattractive I'd say it's quite a generalization your making there... just saying 😉

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius

Posted by MellyMel909
Been there, done that. IME and IMO, guys that expect women to be the aggressor in relationships are usually not "aggressive" in most other areas of life either.

So, the guy that you have to ask out, is also usually the guy that you have: pick up (cause they don't have a car), pay for (cause they don't have "enough money"), and have over to your place all the time (cause they live with their parents).

I'm fine with sharing the burden once in a committed relationship, but I think initially, men should signal their interest by pursuing and women signal it by being receptive to the advances. Granted, everyone's different, but from experience: if a woman starts out doing all the leg work, it's only gonna snowball from there. Whereas if a man does most of the pursuing in the beginning, it ends up much more balanced several months in.

While the description of the man in this post is going to be unattractive I'd say it's quite a generalization your making there... just saying 😉

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I was going to say...

My Aries sister was the aggressor I have to admit, so she grabbed and lassoed her hubby who is the passive one. Then, as time wore on, they have an equal and "balanced" relationship. She makes sure he gets his butt moving, and not lazy. Got to hand it to her, it's what she likes and all women are different.

Posted by MellyMel909
It is indeed a generalization. I apologize for being overly broad. However, I do still believe my summary and chronology of events has merit. I did say that it was just *my* experience, so of course I can't speak for everyone. But - in my experience - a guy that expects a woman to take the bull by the horns and ask him out/actively pursue him, is only a hop-skip-and jump away from expecting a woman to take care of him in EVERY capacity.

This is also my experience

Posted by MellyMel909
It is indeed a generalization. I apologize for being overly broad. However, I do still believe my summary and chronology of events has merit. I did say that it was just *my* experience, so of course I can't speak for everyone. But - in my experience - a guy that expects a woman to take the bull by the horns and ask him out/actively pursue him, is only a hop-skip-and jump away from expecting a woman to take care of him in EVERY capacity.

That is true. However, there are women out there with a ton of MASSIVE energy that will kick-butt a man into his place and the lazy man in question will be in awe of her energy and make him feel like a little peon. So therefore, he will try desperately to accommodate and balance, help out what he can, making him feel better about himself because that woman has shown him renewed energy by giving hers. If that makes any sense at all...

But that's a sacrifice some women will make. It's all up to the woman in question, if she feels that he's worth it.

The men who won't do anything in return even after a long time, well, they're not going to get another wonderful chance meeting women like that if he keeps being a lazy butt and not doing anything for and into the work of the relationship.

Yeah I'm going to say a hell no to that. Not my job to get a man's ass in gear. I guess some females like lazy men or a project or to get after them like they are a child. Definitely not for me.

Come on, MellyMel. Would you label this guy as incompetent or lazy?

For all of you know, he could be running his own multimilion-dollar computer business.

Posted by Xin
Yeah I'm going to say a hell no to that. Not my job to get a man's ass in gear. I guess some females like lazy men or a project or to get after them like they are a child. Definitely not for me.

Same here, Xin.

I've got a Venus dominated chart. I'm super lazy already. So two lazy butts. NO GOOD. After i finish cleaning and cooking I'm beat TIRED!

My husband is dominant Mars energy, so well, we're very balanced allright. He gets my butt in gear. And I like that. You're a Venus dominated chart yourself with your taurus and libra dominants. I can't see you with another venus dominant. You wouldn't respect him. It's odd how energy works like that.

Or maybe i'm still missing some pieces. Ah well.

See how that works out though?

Which he isn't. Lies and slander! Leo with cancer moon dreams of women chasing them not gonna happen! :p

Omg I know right. I need fire or water venus. I love how intense Scorpio Venus can be but I really like Aries or Leo placements.

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by WaterCup
I do "stalk" if I'm interested. I do b & c but without the "bumping" part lol. I avoid people I'm interested in, but I like watching them from a distance & gathering info, just to be sure that they aren't jerks or players.

Absolutely. Once I've scoped you out I may even do (a), but only if he expresses some mutual interest.

Posted by MellyMel909
guys that expect women to be the aggressor in relationships are usually not "aggressive" in most other areas of life either.

So, the guy that you have to ask out, is also usually the guy that you have: pick up (cause they don't have a car), pay for (cause they don't have "enough money"), and have over to your place all the time (cause they live with their parents).

I'm fine with sharing the burden once in a committed relationship, but I think initially, men should signal their interest by pursuing and women signal it by being receptive to the advances. Granted, everyone's different, but from experience: if a woman starts out doing all the leg work, it's only gonna snowball from there. Whereas if a man does most of the pursuing in the beginning, it ends up much more balanced several months in.

I agree with all of this. It makes me wonder if he will be lazy in other areas of the relationship as well.

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Yeah, I also let "accidents" happen once he is on the clear, like "bumping" into him with full makeup on on my way to throw the trash 😉 LOL, I even stand infront of the mirror with the trash-bag in my hand, just to make sure I hold it right when he sees me. Crushes make you act weird.

Posted by Xin
Omg I know right. I need fire or water venus. I love how intense Scorpio Venus can be but I really like Aries or Leo placements.

I effing LOVE my hubby's Scorpio Venus. My ex's were Aries Venus, with aries dominant, but oh yes, you will also love the energy and zest of Aries Venus. You've got the right spunky energy for them too. *nods*

Don't know about Leo Venus ect, but they sound pretty good too.

Posted by Xin
Which he isn't. Lies and slander! Leo with cancer moon dreams of women chasing them not gonna happen! :p

Because women handle rejection even worse than men.

Posted by Xin
Omg I know right. I need fire or water venus. I love how intense Scorpio Venus can be but I really like Aries or Leo placements.

Xin: I got your Aries venus right here!!! Come and get it while its HOT!!!

Posted by MellyMel909
If they snagged the girl by doing nothing, then it would seem to reason that they can keep the girl by doing nothing. This is logical and makes sense to the male brain.

Girls are usually the ones sitting there thinking "Well, if I do *this* differently, maybe he will change and start doing *that*"...

Yes, I understand and I totally agree. 🙂

Somehow this has turned into a discussion on deadbeats. I was more curious about whether women 'stalk out' their subjects of interest as well, or if you simply possess some sort of self-discipline that's out of this world? Or maybe it's not even a part of how you think when you're interested in someone.... I just can't understand it, if I'm into someone I cannot seperate myself from them. While women seem to be walking at the opposite direction. And I guess there's no point in stating the obvious, I started this thread because of the girls I knew were interested in me but didn't act accordingly....

Posted by MellyMel909


I think initially, men should signal their interest by pursuing and women signal it by being receptive to the advances. Granted, everyone's different, but from experience: if a woman starts out doing all the leg work, it's only gonna snowball from there. Whereas if a man does most of the pursuing in the beginning, it ends up much more balanced several months in.

This should be set in a picture frame!

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Xin
Omg I know right. I need fire or water venus. I love how intense Scorpio Venus can be but I really like Aries or Leo placements.

I effing LOVE my hubby's Scorpio Venus. My ex's were Aries Venus, with aries dominant, but oh yes, you will also love the energy and zest of Aries Venus. You've got the right spunky energy for them too. *nods*

Don't know about Leo Venus ect, but they sound pretty good too.

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Thank you madame! Im definitely spunky 😛
Id love a Scorpio venus uh I just LOVE that intensity and talk about the sex. Mmmmm yes please.

Aries venus would rock my world because I love super aggressive guys. I like a guy who can slap me around mentally and not take my shit but also be the aggressor and tell me how it's going to be.

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by WaterCup
I do "stalk" if I'm interested. I do b & c but without the "bumping" part lol. I avoid people I'm interested in, but I like watching them from a distance & gathering info, just to be sure that they aren't jerks or players.

Absolutely. Once I've scoped you out I may even do (a), but only if he expresses some mutual interest.

Posted by MellyMel909
guys that expect women to be the aggressor in relationships are usually not "aggressive" in most other areas of life either.

So, the guy that you have to ask out, is also usually the guy that you have: pick up (cause they don't have a car), pay for (cause they don't have "enough money"), and have over to your place all the time (cause they live with their parents).

I'm fine with sharing the burden once in a committed relationship, but I think initially, men should signal their interest by pursuing and women signal it by being receptive to the advances. Granted, everyone's different, but from experience: if a woman starts out doing all the leg work, it's only gonna snowball from there. Whereas if a man does most of the pursuing in the beginning, it ends up much more balanced several months in.

I agree with all of this. It makes me wonder if he will be lazy in other areas of the relationship as well.

Yeah, I also let "accidents" happen once he is on the clear, like "bumping" into him with full makeup on on my way to throw the trash 😉 LOL, I even stand infront of the mirror with the trash-bag in my hand, just to make sure I hold it right when he sees me. Crushes make you act weird.

Oh you too LOL. "I totally didn't know you were going to be here. Despite the 10 messages you posted on FaceBook." Tee hee! "Oh you eat brunch here too, every Saturday, at 11 am. I'm so suprised." 😄

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LMAO. Yes!! What a (fake) coincidence!

This ain't gonna turn into another thread about me and my teat, is it?

I have had to untrain myself to not be so assertive toward men.
I wasn't getting the type of guy I wanted that way.
Some men don't like this type anyhow, you say you do but you really don't.

I actually prefer aggressive males. I will show interest through verbal or physical cues.
If he doesn't pick up then I move on. He's either not interested, lazy or a dummy.

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Xin
Which he isn't. Lies and slander! Leo with cancer moon dreams of women chasing them not gonna happen! :p

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Yes....Yes indeed.

Posted by enfant_terrible
This ain't gonna turn into another thread about me and my teat, is it?

No its probably going to turn into something about your wang again LOL!

The one I like to hammer with my stilettos 😛

Posted by Xin
The one I like to hammer with my stilettos 😛

I feel so vulnerable right now.

XY - Yeah I can be very dominant and scary 😛
It's the sun and mercury both in Gemini but sitting in the VIII house (Scorpio)

MWAH WAH AHHHH! *Evil kitty claws*

yea i did this once with gem guy i dated briefly. I told my aqua coworker who knew him, that i was "stalking" him....and that bitch went and told him. ughhhhh and then she was suprised when i iced that ass out, when he told me. I just stopped talking to her for months not a peep. When I finally stopped dating him i confronted her and asked not if but why she did it, because I already knew she did. the bish still had the nerve to deny it. I still dont trust her its been 2 years. I speak to her but keep it so short, its like i physically cant be around her for too long.

anywho I feel stupid for doing it and telling anyone about it. if I liked the gem used it to his advantage...i dont think he ever liked me...he only wanted to see how far he get with me since he "knew" i was "stalking". And by stalking i mean checking his fb. thats about it.

i have yet to meet a guy who will go out his way to show he is interested in me. so why would i be doing it for anyone. its just a ego boost for these dudes...so they can tell their friends "i got her open" and "she sweating me"...nah

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by MellyMel909
If they snagged the girl by doing nothing, then it would seem to reason that they can keep the girl by doing nothing. This is logical and makes sense to the male brain.

Girls are usually the ones sitting there thinking "Well, if I do *this* differently, maybe he will change and start doing *that*"...

Yes, I understand and I totally agree. 🙂

Somehow this has turned into a discussion on deadbeats. I was more curious about whether women 'stalk out' their subjects of interest as well, or if you simply possess some sort of self-discipline that's out of this world? Or maybe it's not even a part of how you think when you're interested in someone.... I just can't understand it, if I'm into someone I cannot seperate myself from them. While women seem to be walking at the opposite direction. And I guess there's no point in stating the obvious, I started this thread because of the girls I knew were interested in me but didn't act accordingly....

To answer your questions yes. We stalk from a distance, or subtlely, but don't usually actively pursue. What we will do is make ourselves available to give you plenty of opportunities to seal the deal. And if you don't make any moves, we'll assume that you're just not that "in" to us, because most men are willing to risk rejection if they are interested. If a guy can't be bothered to pursue, then I assume he has other prospects that he finds more appealing. I'm not interested in playing second fiddle, so I will cast my net else where.

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Yes, men have to be perceptive enough to pick up on when a woman is subtly sending him cues that she is interested. If he doesn't respond then I move closer within his eyesight. If that doesn't work then he is either not interested or just clueless.

Posted by MellyMel909

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish
To answer your questions yes. We stalk from a distance, or subtlely, but don't usually actively pursue. What we will do is make ourselves available to give you plenty of opportunities to seal the deal. And if you don't make any moves, we'll assume that you're just not that "in" to us, because most men are willing to risk rejection if they are interested. If a guy can't be bothered to pursue, then I assume he has other prospects that he finds more appealing. I'm not interested in playing second fiddle, so I will cast my net else where.

What she said. +1 to this.

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See, I don't sense that at all! Altough I sense when someone genuinly likes me, I can't honestly say anyone's ever gone through that extra mile to make themselves available. Except for the two Aries chicks I mentioned before. They didn't pursue me or anything, but I could tell they both wanted to be around me every chance they got, so that was a no-brainer. Apart from that, everyone's been playing it cool... a little too cool... or it could just be my radar that's a little off. There probably are girls out there who think I'm a total dick because of that... :-/

I had to learn the opposite: how to show a guy I am NOT interested. I had to learn boundaries in order to not lead people on. I think I'm being direct, assertive, Aries Sun, etc. but having Venus in the 1st (Venus Dominant and Pluto in the 8th), somehow some magical tune seems to play over my words and actions of rejection. I don't think I've had the opportunity to be the aggressor; and I don't think I want to be; nor, will I ever be in the position. I am easily overstimulated which causes a short attention span.

I'm most in relationships with Mars in Taurus men (my husband included) - stamina, determination, calm, steady, and perfect for my flightiness.

Posted by bkbella86
yea i did this once with gem guy i dated briefly. I told my aqua coworker who knew him, that i was "stalking" him....and that bitch went and told him. ughhhhh and then she was suprised when i iced that ass out, when he told me. I just stopped talking to her for months not a peep. When I finally stopped dating him i confronted her and asked not if but why she did it, because I already knew she did. the bish still had the nerve to deny it. I still dont trust her its been 2 years. I speak to her but keep it so short, its like i physically cant be around her for too long.

anywho I feel stupid for doing it and telling anyone about it. if I liked the gem used it to his advantage...i dont think he ever liked me...he only wanted to see how far he get with me since he "knew" i was "stalking". And by stalking i mean checking his fb. thats about it.

i have yet to meet a guy who will go out his way to show he is interested in me. so why would i be doing it for anyone. its just a ego boost for these dudes...so they can tell their friends "i got her open" and "she sweating me"...nah

LOL, why would you tell anyone about that? IDK about you, but I usually feel guilty when I do that. I don't like it at all, but somehow I just can't stop myself from doing it- curiosity gets the best of me. It becomes my favourite hobby & secret.

Posted by VenusAquarius
I had to learn the opposite: how to show a guy I am NOT interested. I had to learn boundaries in order to not lead people on. I think I'm being direct, assertive, Aries Sun, etc. but having Venus in the 1st (Venus Dominant and Pluto in the 8th), somehow some magical tune seems to play over my words and actions of rejection. I don't think I've had the opportunity to be the aggressor; and I don't think I want to be; nor, will I ever be in the position. I am easily overstimulated which causes a short attention span.

I'm most in relationships with Mars in Taurus men (my husband included) - stamina, determination, calm, steady, and perfect for my flightiness.

Yeah i'm just sayin' it works for my Aries sister. It's not for me or for my other sister though. Most women I've noticed on this board alone WANT aggressive men. They want the man to CHASE them, forgoing all the ones who are sitting back waiting for the aggressive woman. In the meantime, the lazy men may end up as 40 year old virgins....but then again, there are men who are aggressive and remain bachelors for the rest of their lives. (shrug)

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by VenusAquarius
I had to learn the opposite: how to show a guy I am NOT interested. I had to learn boundaries in order to not lead people on. I think I'm being direct, assertive, Aries Sun, etc. but having Venus in the 1st (Venus Dominant and Pluto in the 8th), somehow some magical tune seems to play over my words and actions of rejection. I don't think I've had the opportunity to be the aggressor; and I don't think I want to be; nor, will I ever be in the position. I am easily overstimulated which causes a short attention span.

I'm most in relationships with Mars in Taurus men (my husband included) - stamina, determination, calm, steady, and perfect for my flightiness.

Yeah i'm just sayin' it works for my Aries sister. It's not for me or for my other sister though. Most women I've noticed on this board alone WANT aggressive men. They want the man to CHASE them, forgoing all the ones who are sitting back waiting for the aggressive woman. In the meantime, the lazy men may end up as 40 year old virgins....but then again, there are men who are aggressive and remain bachelors for the rest of their lives. (shrug)

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I think the right synastry makes the difference.

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish
So you're the type who needs a woman to make it VERY obvious that she is interested. Haha. Most women do not want to appear desperate, and are not aggressive when it comes to showing interest. Do your jokes suck? Did she laugh anyway...she's interested. She showed up at the sports event that she knew you would be attending, dressed to the dimes, complete with heels. She ain't there to watch the game...at least not the one on the stage.

Not VERY obvious, just drop me a hint or else you'll fly under my radar. That is unless I stalk you out first!

But most of the girls I pursue seem to mimic my behaviour, that's how I know if they are interested. Since I practice the art of ballbusting I will get the same treatment in return IF they are interested, so basicaly they will not laugh at any stupid jokes (though most of the time it is my sense of humor that gets them in the first place) but they will rather look for an opening to kick me where it hurts the most. It's just being playful 🙂

But if I act like a nice lil' pup to them, that means I don't sense any chemistry, just friendship at best. And naturally I assume that's how they feel too when they are being "just nice" to me, without the extra mile.

And I dunno about the dress-codes and attending games and such, lol. I'm not in high-school anymore. These are adults I'm talking about. And adults don't always have the time or energy to look their best when life gets in their way.

Posted by lisabethur8

Most women I've noticed on this board alone WANT aggressive men. They want the man to CHASE them...

That's another thing. Many women want to be chased just for the sake of attention, without any other intentions than having their ego fed. So while some women may not want to pursue men out of fear of rejection, I simply refuse to pursue certain women because I don't want to be taken for a ride. Makes sense?

Posted by Xin

Posted by MellyMel909
It is indeed a generalization. I apologize for being overly broad. However, I do still believe my summary and chronology of events has merit. I did say that it was just *my* experience, so of course I can't speak for everyone. But - in my experience - a guy that expects a woman to take the bull by the horns and ask him out/actively pursue him, is only a hop-skip-and jump away from expecting a woman to take care of him in EVERY capacity.

This is also my experience

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I concur

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by lisabethur8

Most women I've noticed on this board alone WANT aggressive men. They want the man to CHASE them...

That's another thing. Many women want to be chased just for the sake of attention, without any other intentions than having their ego fed. So while some women may not want to pursue men out of fear of rejection, I simply refuse to pursue certain women because I don't want to be taken for a ride. Makes sense?

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Isnt our original post asking for the same ego boost?

Posted by DMV

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by lisabethur8

Most women I've noticed on this board alone WANT aggressive men. They want the man to CHASE them...

That's another thing. Many women want to be chased just for the sake of attention, without any other intentions than having their ego fed. So while some women may not want to pursue men out of fear of rejection, I simply refuse to pursue certain women because I don't want to be taken for a ride. Makes sense?

Isnt our original post asking for the same ego boost?

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And your a leo sun? You want and need your ego stroked daily. Like Nero eloquently put, maybe their just not into u.

I'm a complete stalker secretly. Got to know whats up.

But as like a day to day trying to be around all the time no... I guess that is backwards huh? I don't know.

Posted by geminicandle
Anyways, I think it's the environment you are living in. Just like the weather, it is cold and predictable. I found both Scandi men and women (while beautiful to look at) shy, anti-social, not passionate and passive making them boring and dull in the process:/
Unless of course they get drunk, but where is the fun in that?

Put those speedos on and head to Italy or Greece or Croatia and find yourself a real woman, a Latin or Slavic chick!!😉

I wish I could say I hate it here, but these Swedish girls are hungry for some testosterone! The males are just so predictible, and then when they get drunk they lose their inhibitions and start howling by outside my window on their way back home from some lame party, ranting about how unfair it is that the immigrants are getting all that Swedish pussy... It's hilarious!!

But yeah, once a woman finally pins me down I'm sure it will be a Yugo chica. Or Xin, she's got those "pins" all ready.. 😛

Posted by MellyMel909
Been there, done that. IME and IMO, guys that expect women to be the aggressor in relationships are usually not "aggressive" in most other areas of life either.

So, the guy that you have to ask out, is also usually the guy that you have: pick up (cause they don't have a car), pay for (cause they don't have "enough money"), and have over to your place all the time (cause they live with their parents).

I'm fine with sharing the burden once in a committed relationship, but I think initially, men should signal their interest by pursuing and women signal it by being receptive to the advances. Granted, everyone's different, but from experience: if a woman starts out doing all the leg work, it's only gonna snowball from there. Whereas if a man does most of the pursuing in the beginning, it ends up much more balanced several months in.

Thats what Patty the Millionaire Matchmaker says!

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius

Posted by MellyMel909
Been there, done that. IME and IMO, guys that expect women to be the aggressor in relationships are usually not "aggressive" in most other areas of life either.

So, the guy that you have to ask out, is also usually the guy that you have: pick up (cause they don't have a car), pay for (cause they don't have "enough money"), and have over to your place all the time (cause they live with their parents).

I'm fine with sharing the burden once in a committed relationship, but I think initially, men should signal their interest by pursuing and women signal it by being receptive to the advances. Granted, everyone's different, but from experience: if a woman starts out doing all the leg work, it's only gonna snowball from there. Whereas if a man does most of the pursuing in the beginning, it ends up much more balanced several months in.

While the description of the man in this post is going to be unattractive I'd say it's quite a generalization your making there... just saying 😉

I was going to say...

My Aries sister was the aggressor I have to admit, so she grabbed and lassoed her hubby who is the passive one. Then, as time wore on, they have an equal and "balanced" relationship. She makes sure he gets his butt moving, and not lazy. Got to hand it to her, it's what she likes and all women are different.

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She likes to be the boss and he likes taking orders. No bubbles, no troubles. It works 4 them.

Posted by bkbella86
yea i did this once with gem guy i dated briefly. I told my aqua coworker who knew him, that i was "stalking" him....and that bitch went and told him. ughhhhh and then she was suprised when i iced that ass out, when he told me. I just stopped talking to her for months not a peep. When I finally stopped dating him i confronted her and asked not if but why she did it, because I already knew she did. the bish still had the nerve to deny it. I still dont trust her its been 2 years. I speak to her but keep it so short, its like i physically cant be around her for too long.

anywho I feel stupid for doing it and telling anyone about it. if I liked the gem used it to his advantage...i dont think he ever liked me...he only wanted to see how far he get with me since he "knew" i was "stalking". And by stalking i mean checking his fb. thats about it.

i have yet to meet a guy who will go out his way to show he is interested in me. so why would i be doing it for anyone. its just a ego boost for these dudes...so they can tell their friends "i got her open" and "she sweating me"...nah

I mean yes yes and yes. Women like that same ego boost.

Posted by DMV

Posted by MellyMel909
Been there, done that. IME and IMO, guys that expect women to be the aggressor in relationships are usually not "aggressive" in most other areas of life either.

So, the guy that you have to ask out, is also usually the guy that you have: pick up (cause they don't have a car), pay for (cause they don't have "enough money"), and have over to your place all the time (cause they live with their parents).

I'm fine with sharing the burden once in a committed relationship, but I think initially, men should signal their interest by pursuing and women signal it by being receptive to the advances. Granted, everyone's different, but from experience: if a woman starts out doing all the leg work, it's only gonna snowball from there. Whereas if a man does most of the pursuing in the beginning, it ends up much more balanced several months in.

Thats what Patty the Millionaire Matchmaker says!

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I love Patty!

I thought to direct people with love issue to the show... to just keep posting a link to the show. Sometimes I am outraged at some of the "types" on the show...particularly the "ageist" and the "perfectionists."