Dreamer222?
@pooface222
9 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 6 · Posts: 1783 · Topics: 79



Posted by EarthgoddessSo I am pretty sure I haven't yet experience it.Posted by ChocolateHazelnutBecause once you experience true love...it doesn’t feel like living without it
It's a bit too much for me. Love is nice.... But why should I destroy my life for it xD?click to expand


Posted by sierra_Err ok but I MEANT in that situation. I'm asking people if they would throw it all away for a guy who maybe just went through a rough patch, and has stayed with his partner in order to build up some money.
yes
but not in that situation
Posted by Pandora101What do you mean by provocation?
OP, it seems you somehow realized, your barbie-doll life with your provider is not enough for you.... the homeless looser is not important in this case, he was just a trigger to start realizing your own home situation....
its not going to help you, if you elope with somebody, because its again the same - a man, who defines you
try to make your own life worth, face your problems first
PS. I think its a fake post, nobody is so dumb
its a provocation
Posted by FortunaOk thanks but no need to be rude. I get it.Posted by Pandora101It's not a fake post. This has become a saga. It's been going on for some time now. I feel like she needs to spend some time, alone, away from both men and somehow get a reality check. Hope she can figure it out soon for the sake of her child. 😢
OP, it seems you somehow realized, your barbie-doll life with your provider is not enough for you.... the homeless looser is not important in this case, he was just a trigger to start realizing your own home situation....
its not going to help you, if you elope with somebody, because its again the same - a man, who defines you
try to make your own life worth, face your problems first
PS. I think its a fake post, nobody is so dumb
its a provocation
Good luck, op. Please take into consideration that this also affects an innocent person, your child, not just you and the men involved.click to expand

Posted by FortunaVery well saidPosted by Pandora101It's not a fake post. This has become a saga. It's been going on for some time now. I feel like she needs to spend some time, alone, away from both men and somehow get a reality check. Hope she can figure it out soon for the sake of her child. 😢
OP, it seems you somehow realized, your barbie-doll life with your provider is not enough for you.... the homeless looser is not important in this case, he was just a trigger to start realizing your own home situation....
its not going to help you, if you elope with somebody, because its again the same - a man, who defines you
try to make your own life worth, face your problems first
PS. I think its a fake post, nobody is so dumb
its a provocation
Good luck, op. Please take into consideration that this also affects an innocent person, your child, not just you and the men involved.click to expand

Posted by pooface222.....and what if he ended up not looking after you ?Posted by FortunaOk thanks but no need to be rude. I get it.Posted by Pandora101It's not a fake post. This has become a saga. It's been going on for some time now. I feel like she needs to spend some time, alone, away from both men and somehow get a reality check. Hope she can figure it out soon for the sake of her child. 😢
OP, it seems you somehow realized, your barbie-doll life with your provider is not enough for you.... the homeless looser is not important in this case, he was just a trigger to start realizing your own home situation....
its not going to help you, if you elope with somebody, because its again the same - a man, who defines you
try to make your own life worth, face your problems first
PS. I think its a fake post, nobody is so dumb
its a provocation
Good luck, op. Please take into consideration that this also affects an innocent person, your child, not just you and the men involved.
I've had depression that I didn't even realise I had and I realise now it started about 3yrs ago. I was spiralling downwards into a depression and didn't even know it.
I was scared and didn't know what was happening to me. I was also confused. So I made sure my child was looked after and cared for- by me - but all the while I was falling apart.
HENCE I needed someone - a man who loves me - to look after ME.click to expand

Posted by pooface222and has stayed with his partner in order to build up some money.Posted by sierra_Err ok but I MEANT in that situation. I'm asking people if they would throw it all away for a guy who maybe just went through a rough patch, and has stayed with his partner in order to build up some money.
yes
but not in that situation
But now he wants to be with You but wouldn't use you for money because he genuinely loves you..click to expand
Posted by FortunaFORTUNA...
Seems too complicated. I wouldn't have gone beyond the first paragraph. If things weren't working in a marriage, fix it or move on from the marriage for yourself and your child, NOT because of some romantic interest.
Posted by pooface222This is where you address HIM and go over your problems, before moving on to...
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).Posted by pooface222I feel like this is NOT even an option. Fix your own problems first before moving on to someone else.
She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.
like Pandora said.click to expand

Posted by EarthgoddessThank you Earth Goddess. That's what I'm trying to say here.Posted by ChocolateHazelnutBecause once you experience true love...it doesn’t feel like living without it
It's a bit too much for me. Love is nice.... But why should I destroy my life for it xD?click to expand
Posted by AerialViewYou are right x the grass isn't always greener but the view is different. Therefore a different new Start.
You've been wanting to leave your husband for months now.
The grass isn't always greener.
Posted by pooface222Whoever this is with the perfect life but not happy with the husband should leave but not because of this new man. Only because they feel that their life within themselves would be better.
If you were married with a child but for various reasons didn't love your husband anymore - may be he treats you like shit, but in other ways is a good provider, so you love your life with him, more than you love him; Would you throw it all away to start a new life with a man who is in love with you (and you with him), BUT is homeless but has a job?
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.
BUT..he has walked out on his wife and kid and lived in his car. He then moves in with a friend until he gets on his feet. Then he meets his partner who was also married with kids AND has left her marriage, family, life etc to be with him. She gets a place of her own and the guy moves in with her into HER new place (hence why he's homeless. It's her place).
Fast forward 10yrs and now he has met YOU and you are married blah blah blah and you fall in love etc.
Would you do the exact same thing she did? Even though his ex wife has now divorced him, and he has some money from that divorce?
Would you go straight in to living with him?
Or would you worry that he would do the same thing to you?
Eg Cheat on you, stay with you while he builds up money.
OR would you trust that he just went through a rough patch in his life and met this woman who loved him and he loved her, and that maybe she wasn't right for him.
So upon meeting you, he knows you are right for him/for each other and he actually won't use you because he genuinely loves you but just went through a rough patch.
Would you throw it all away for this man?

Posted by pooface222....so, if you are so sure, why are you asking other people what they think ?Posted by EarthgoddessThank you Earth Goddess. That's what I'm trying to say here.Posted by ChocolateHazelnutBecause once you experience true love...it doesn’t feel like living without it
It's a bit too much for me. Love is nice.... But why should I destroy my life for it xD?
My husband is a cold calculating controlling bastard and I've had problems loving him because of it.
I found true love with the other guy.
And I found it after trying for years with .y husband.click to expand

Posted by pooface222OP: "I DID address my husband! This is where the problems were. He refused to believe he was causing me any pain. He's controlling, bullying and very very selfish. He made excuses for behaviour to hide the fact that he hates to lose an argument. And trust me he HATES to lose. Even if he trampled all over the person he says he loves, all he cares about is WINNING!Posted by FortunaFORTUNA...
Seems too complicated. I wouldn't have gone beyond the first paragraph. If things weren't working in a marriage, fix it or move on from the marriage for yourself and your child, NOT because of some romantic interest.
Posted by pooface222This is where you address HIM and go over your problems, before moving on to...
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).Posted by pooface222I feel like this is NOT even an option. Fix your own problems first before moving on to someone else.
She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.
like Pandora said.
I DID address my husband! This is where the problems were. He refused to believe he was causing me any pain. He's controlling, bullying and very very selfish. He made excuses for behaviour to hide the fact that he hates to lose an argument. And trust me he HATES to lose. Even if he trampled all over the person he says he loves, all he cares about is WINNING!
SO..I addressed HIM. FAILED! He worked against me, not with me.click to expand

Posted by Gemgal101This 👍Posted by pooface222Whoever this is with the perfect life but not happy with the husband should leave but not because of this new man. Only because they feel that their life within themselves would be better.
If you were married with a child but for various reasons didn't love your husband anymore - may be he treats you like shit, but in other ways is a good provider, so you love your life with him, more than you love him; Would you throw it all away to start a new life with a man who is in love with you (and you with him), BUT is homeless but has a job?
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.
BUT..he has walked out on his wife and kid and lived in his car. He then moves in with a friend until he gets on his feet. Then he meets his partner who was also married with kids AND has left her marriage, family, life etc to be with him. She gets a place of her own and the guy moves in with her into HER new place (hence why he's homeless. It's her place).
Fast forward 10yrs and now he has met YOU and you are married blah blah blah and you fall in love etc.
Would you do the exact same thing she did? Even though his ex wife has now divorced him, and he has some money from that divorce?
Would you go straight in to living with him?
Or would you worry that he would do the same thing to you?
Eg Cheat on you, stay with you while he builds up money.
OR would you trust that he just went through a rough patch in his life and met this woman who loved him and he loved her, and that maybe she wasn't right for him.
So upon meeting you, he knows you are right for him/for each other and he actually won't use you because he genuinely loves you but just went through a rough patch.
Would you throw it all away for this man?
It's all lovely and shiny and new because this other man fulfills them atm but they haven't lived together, gone thru fights together and gone thru everyday life together. Don't do it for anyone else but yourself and for the benefit of the child and believe me, children see more than anyone thinks they do.
click to expand
Posted by MyStarsShineWell hopefully by the time he starts to Not look after me, I have managed to heal with his love, that I can return to looking after myself again. It just takes time. I would have eventually got myself together again with his love healing me.Posted by pooface222.....and what if he ended up not looking after you ?Posted by FortunaOk thanks but no need to be rude. I get it.Posted by Pandora101It's not a fake post. This has become a saga. It's been going on for some time now. I feel like she needs to spend some time, alone, away from both men and somehow get a reality check. Hope she can figure it out soon for the sake of her child. 😢
OP, it seems you somehow realized, your barbie-doll life with your provider is not enough for you.... the homeless looser is not important in this case, he was just a trigger to start realizing your own home situation....
its not going to help you, if you elope with somebody, because its again the same - a man, who defines you
try to make your own life worth, face your problems first
PS. I think its a fake post, nobody is so dumb
its a provocation
Good luck, op. Please take into consideration that this also affects an innocent person, your child, not just you and the men involved.
I've had depression that I didn't even realise I had and I realise now it started about 3yrs ago. I was spiralling downwards into a depression and didn't even know it.
I was scared and didn't know what was happening to me. I was also confused. So I made sure my child was looked after and cared for- by me - but all the while I was falling apart.
HENCE I needed someone - a man who loves me - to look after ME.click to expand


Posted by pooface222...it won't.....your love will heal you....not hisPosted by MyStarsShineWell hopefully by the time he starts to Not look after me, I have managed to heal with his love, that I can return to looking after myself again. It just takes time. I would have eventually got myself together again with his love healing me.Posted by pooface222.....and what if he ended up not looking after you ?Posted by FortunaOk thanks but no need to be rude. I get it.Posted by Pandora101It's not a fake post. This has become a saga. It's been going on for some time now. I feel like she needs to spend some time, alone, away from both men and somehow get a reality check. Hope she can figure it out soon for the sake of her child. 😢
OP, it seems you somehow realized, your barbie-doll life with your provider is not enough for you.... the homeless looser is not important in this case, he was just a trigger to start realizing your own home situation....
its not going to help you, if you elope with somebody, because its again the same - a man, who defines you
try to make your own life worth, face your problems first
PS. I think its a fake post, nobody is so dumb
its a provocation
Good luck, op. Please take into consideration that this also affects an innocent person, your child, not just you and the men involved.
I've had depression that I didn't even realise I had and I realise now it started about 3yrs ago. I was spiralling downwards into a depression and didn't even know it.
I was scared and didn't know what was happening to me. I was also confused. So I made sure my child was looked after and cared for- by me - but all the while I was falling apart.
HENCE I needed someone - a man who loves me - to look after ME.click to expand
Posted by MyStarsShineI understand x i was always very sure of my husband though. It's been 14yrs together.
A friend of mind after bring in "love" with three loser users now has a very screwed up son on her hands
I never involved our son in my love life....it's not appropriate or healthy....you have to be very sure of that guy


Posted by pooface222OP, Pooface: "I understand x i was always very sure of my husband though. It's been 14yrs together.Posted by MyStarsShineI understand x i was always very sure of my husband though. It's been 14yrs together.
A friend of mind after bring in "love" with three loser users now has a very screwed up son on her hands
I never involved our son in my love life....it's not appropriate or healthy....you have to be very sure of that guy
However in the last 6 months I have found out more about him than in the last 14yrs.
I've discovered that he's a Narcissist. He scares me.
Now after 14yrs I am NOT sure of him. He says things to our child knowing she will say them to me. He uses her as mouthpiece and is using her against me.
I've realised that his controlling behaviour has No end! Even with his own child!click to expand

Posted by pooface222So live apart from him, make sure your girl is safe and when seeing her dad is safe too and focus on your healingPosted by MyStarsShineI understand x i was always very sure of my husband though. It's been 14yrs together.
A friend of mind after bring in "love" with three loser users now has a very screwed up son on her hands
I never involved our son in my love life....it's not appropriate or healthy....you have to be very sure of that guy
However in the last 6 months I have found out more about him than in the last 14yrs.
I've discovered that he's a Narcissist. He scares me.
Now after 14yrs I am NOT sure of him. He says things to our child knowing she will say them to me. He uses her as mouthpiece and is using her against me.
I've realised that his controlling behaviour has No end! Even with his own child!click to expand
Posted by FortunaTrue.Posted by pooface222Posted by FortunaFORTUNA...
Seems too complicated. I wouldn't have gone beyond the first paragraph. If things weren't working in a marriage, fix it or move on from the marriage for yourself and your child, NOT because of some romantic interest.
Posted by pooface222This is where you address HIM and go over your problems, before moving on to...
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).Posted by pooface222I feel like this is NOT even an option. Fix your own problems first before moving on to someone else.
She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.
like Pandora said.
I DID address my husband! This is where the problems were. He refused to believe he was causing me any pain. He's controlling, bullying and very very selfish. He made excuses for behaviour to hide the fact that he hates to lose an argument. And trust me he HATES to lose. Even if he trampled all over the person he says he loves, all he cares about is WINNING!
SO..I addressed HIM. FAILED! He worked against me, not with me.
I do vaguely remember you saying that before.
So your solution was to find a new partner without addressing your own issues or fully closing the door on the last relationship? Seems like you're in a vulnerable place to be in any kind of relationship. You need to take care of your own emotional and mental health.
"HENCE I needed someone - a man who loves me - to look after ME."
You're responsible for yourself not a man or anyone else. You need to look after yourself. Take care of yourself.
click to expand
Posted by Pandora101I only have 1 car. The other is my husband's.Posted by pooface222OP, Pooface: "I understand x i was always very sure of my husband though. It's been 14yrs together.Posted by MyStarsShineI understand x i was always very sure of my husband though. It's been 14yrs together.
A friend of mind after bring in "love" with three loser users now has a very screwed up son on her hands
I never involved our son in my love life....it's not appropriate or healthy....you have to be very sure of that guy
However in the last 6 months I have found out more about him than in the last 14yrs.
I've discovered that he's a Narcissist. He scares me.
Now after 14yrs I am NOT sure of him. He says things to our child knowing she will say them to me. He uses her as mouthpiece and is using her against me.
I've realised that his controlling behaviour has No end! Even with his own child!
However in the last 6 months I have found out more about him than in the last 14yrs.
I've discovered that he's a Narcissist. He scares me.
Now after 14yrs I am NOT sure of him. He says things to our child knowing she will say them to me. He uses her as mouthpiece and is using her against me.
I've realised that his controlling behaviour has No end! Even with his own child!"
can you please tell me what is your job? what do you do for living? it seems your life is absorbed in your romantic fantasy drama
so, what are you doing to keep these two cars?
click to expand
Posted by MyStarsShineExactly that! Couldn't have said it better..Posted by pooface222So live apart from him, make sure your girl is safe and when seeing her dad is safe too and focus on your healingPosted by MyStarsShineI understand x i was always very sure of my husband though. It's been 14yrs together.
A friend of mind after bring in "love" with three loser users now has a very screwed up son on her hands
I never involved our son in my love life....it's not appropriate or healthy....you have to be very sure of that guy
However in the last 6 months I have found out more about him than in the last 14yrs.
I've discovered that he's a Narcissist. He scares me.
Now after 14yrs I am NOT sure of him. He says things to our child knowing she will say them to me. He uses her as mouthpiece and is using her against me.
I've realised that his controlling behaviour has No end! Even with his own child!click to expand
Posted by miriyahhhI am Capricorn.
What's the husband sign, and what's this new guys sign? Also yours?
"Hypothetically"
Posted by pooface222You're not stuffed. Please don't say that.Posted by FortunaTrue.Posted by pooface222Posted by FortunaFORTUNA...
Seems too complicated. I wouldn't have gone beyond the first paragraph. If things weren't working in a marriage, fix it or move on from the marriage for yourself and your child, NOT because of some romantic interest.
Posted by pooface222This is where you address HIM and go over your problems, before moving on to...
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).Posted by pooface222I feel like this is NOT even an option. Fix your own problems first before moving on to someone else.
She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.
like Pandora said.
I DID address my husband! This is where the problems were. He refused to believe he was causing me any pain. He's controlling, bullying and very very selfish. He made excuses for behaviour to hide the fact that he hates to lose an argument. And trust me he HATES to lose. Even if he trampled all over the person he says he loves, all he cares about is WINNING!
SO..I addressed HIM. FAILED! He worked against me, not with me.
I do vaguely remember you saying that before.
So your solution was to find a new partner without addressing your own issues or fully closing the door on the last relationship? Seems like you're in a vulnerable place to be in any kind of relationship. You need to take care of your own emotional and mental health.
"HENCE I needed someone - a man who loves me - to look after ME."
You're responsible for yourself not a man or anyone else. You need to look after yourself. Take care of yourself.
I tried to address the issues but failed. He just wanted to fight.
I never fully left closed the door on my marriage. I stayed and left Emotionally. Bad idea!
I should have just divorced him.
But he moved out in September, wo t give me his address, and now I'm very very lonely. We are not speaking at all. He comes round every Sunday to see his child but he is silent. It's weird.
I wish I had left my marriage properly because now I spend every night in this house alone with my child in bed. I can't go out and I'm dying to. I'm so badly lonely.
I sometimes have friends come round but they all have families of their own to be with at night.
I am dying to go out at night and be ME. But I can't afford a child minder. My mum is elderly and lives over an hour away and doesn't drive.
I.am stuffed!click to expand

Posted by pooface222"I am self-employed and I teach exercise classes in a local gym. With a child I don't earn much. "Posted by Pandora101I only have 1 car. The other is my husband's.Posted by pooface222OP, Pooface: "I understand x i was always very sure of my husband though. It's been 14yrs together.Posted by MyStarsShineI understand x i was always very sure of my husband though. It's been 14yrs together.
A friend of mind after bring in "love" with three loser users now has a very screwed up son on her hands
I never involved our son in my love life....it's not appropriate or healthy....you have to be very sure of that guy
However in the last 6 months I have found out more about him than in the last 14yrs.
I've discovered that he's a Narcissist. He scares me.
Now after 14yrs I am NOT sure of him. He says things to our child knowing she will say them to me. He uses her as mouthpiece and is using her against me.
I've realised that his controlling behaviour has No end! Even with his own child!
However in the last 6 months I have found out more about him than in the last 14yrs.
I've discovered that he's a Narcissist. He scares me.
Now after 14yrs I am NOT sure of him. He says things to our child knowing she will say them to me. He uses her as mouthpiece and is using her against me.
I've realised that his controlling behaviour has No end! Even with his own child!"
can you please tell me what is your job? what do you do for living? it seems your life is absorbed in your romantic fantasy drama
so, what are you doing to keep these two cars?
I am self-employed and I teach exercise classes in a local gym. With a child I don't earn much.click to expand

Posted by pooface222Posted by miriyahhhI am Capricorn.
What's the husband sign, and what's this new guys sign? Also yours?
"Hypothetically"
Husband is Aries.
Other guy is Piscesclick to expand


Posted by miriyahhh...even though he treats her badly....and the child and because he is an Aries?Posted by pooface222Posted by miriyahhhI am Capricorn.
What's the husband sign, and what's this new guys sign? Also yours?
"Hypothetically"
Husband is Aries.
Other guy is Pisces
In that case id definitely stay with my husband.
I'd never leave the safe confines of an Aries for a fly-by-night Pisces.
click to expand

Posted by MyStarsShineOr so she says. I'm an Aries and always will think about the 2nd party. We only know HER story. And she may bend it because she's a cap in her favor. She said nothing about Aries infidelity* (only) actually on her part. Just how she feels and how she's treated. But she said she doesn't work ( much ). Why juggle a child up because a Pisces comes along.Posted by miriyahhh...even though he treats her badly....and the child and because he is an Aries?Posted by pooface222Posted by miriyahhhI am Capricorn.
What's the husband sign, and what's this new guys sign? Also yours?
"Hypothetically"
Husband is Aries.
Other guy is Pisces
In that case id definitely stay with my husband.
I'd never leave the safe confines of an Aries for a fly-by-night Pisces.
click to expand


Posted by TimonOK or get a damn job and stop sitting around the house thinking about other men all day.Posted by pooface222Perfect life? That's not a perfect life just because he has a good job and salary and they have cars, and can go on holidays every year. You're a cap right? 😆
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
Materialistic things doesn't make a life perfect. I don't know if there is such a thing as a perfect life. Don't look for happiness from external factors (another man and fancy things ) but within you. I think if you have self-love you would know how to make the best decisions for you and your child whether it is removing yourself from a toxic relationship because it's harming you or working things out with your partner. Right now you're not happy where you are and instead of trying to work on that you're looking for another man bringing you that happiness. Sorry about your depression. I can imagine it must be hard on you not feeling you get the emotional support from your partner that you need. Try to find someone professional that can help you through it.
All the best.
click to expand

Posted by TimonShe said she self employed and does classes at a gym where she doesn't earn much. So instead of focusing on being able to solely provide a better life for her kid she's gonna move in a Pisces that's giving her The attention she's not getting at home. (new attention). I'm a woman I've heard this merry go round before.Posted by miriyahhhI thought she had a job?Posted by TimonOK or get a damn job and stop sitting around the house thinking about other men all day.Posted by pooface222Perfect life? That's not a perfect life just because he has a good job and salary and they have cars, and can go on holidays every year. You're a cap right? 😆
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
Materialistic things doesn't make a life perfect. I don't know if there is such a thing as a perfect life. Don't look for happiness from external factors (another man and fancy things ) but within you. I think if you have self-love you would know how to make the best decisions for you and your child whether it is removing yourself from a toxic relationship because it's harming you or working things out with your partner. Right now you're not happy where you are and instead of trying to work on that you're looking for another man bringing you that happiness. Sorry about your depression. I can imagine it must be hard on you not feeling you get the emotional support from your partner that you need. Try to find someone professional that can help you through it.
All the best.
click to expand

Posted by TimonTimon: "I thought she had a job? "Posted by miriyahhhI thought she had a job?Posted by TimonOK or get a damn job and stop sitting around the house thinking about other men all day.Posted by pooface222Perfect life? That's not a perfect life just because he has a good job and salary and they have cars, and can go on holidays every year. You're a cap right? 😆
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
Materialistic things doesn't make a life perfect. I don't know if there is such a thing as a perfect life. Don't look for happiness from external factors (another man and fancy things ) but within you. I think if you have self-love you would know how to make the best decisions for you and your child whether it is removing yourself from a toxic relationship because it's harming you or working things out with your partner. Right now you're not happy where you are and instead of trying to work on that you're looking for another man bringing you that happiness. Sorry about your depression. I can imagine it must be hard on you not feeling you get the emotional support from your partner that you need. Try to find someone professional that can help you through it.
All the best.
click to expand
Posted by JuliietteHe is not having an affair. I don't want to go into the whole story but because of our arguments, social services are involved and they separated us for the sake of our child. So he moved out to a flat somewhere.Posted by pooface222Posted by FortunaTrue.Posted by pooface222Posted by FortunaFORTUNA...
Seems too complicated. I wouldn't have gone beyond the first paragraph. If things weren't working in a marriage, fix it or move on from the marriage for yourself and your child, NOT because of some romantic interest.
Posted by pooface222This is where you address HIM and go over your problems, before moving on to...
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).Posted by pooface222I feel like this is NOT even an option. Fix your own problems first before moving on to someone else.
She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.
like Pandora said.
I DID address my husband! This is where the problems were. He refused to believe he was causing me any pain. He's controlling, bullying and very very selfish. He made excuses for behaviour to hide the fact that he hates to lose an argument. And trust me he HATES to lose. Even if he trampled all over the person he says he loves, all he cares about is WINNING!
SO..I addressed HIM. FAILED! He worked against me, not with me.
I do vaguely remember you saying that before.
So your solution was to find a new partner without addressing your own issues or fully closing the door on the last relationship? Seems like you're in a vulnerable place to be in any kind of relationship. You need to take care of your own emotional and mental health.
"HENCE I needed someone - a man who loves me - to look after ME."
You're responsible for yourself not a man or anyone else. You need to look after yourself. Take care of yourself.
I tried to address the issues but failed. He just wanted to fight.
I never fully left closed the door on my marriage. I stayed and left Emotionally. Bad idea!
I should have just divorced him.
But he moved out in September, wo t give me his address, and now I'm very very lonely. We are not speaking at all. He comes round every Sunday to see his child but he is silent. It's weird.
I wish I had left my marriage properly because now I spend every night in this house alone with my child in bed. I can't go out and I'm dying to. I'm so badly lonely.
I sometimes have friends come round but they all have families of their own to be with at night.
I am dying to go out at night and be ME. But I can't afford a child minder. My mum is elderly and lives over an hour away and doesn't drive.
I.am stuffed!
—
these last 6 months he is probably having an affair. he just left? no explanation?
click to expand
Posted by ApparitionOk. Point taken.Posted by pooface222No, because I wouldn't allow myself to be in anywhere near a situation like this hypothetical one in the first place.
If you were married with a child but for various reasons didn't love your husband anymore - may be he treats you like shit, but in other ways is a good provider, so you love your life with him, more than you love him; Would you throw it all away to start a new life with a man who is in love with you (and you with him), BUT is homeless but has a job?
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.
BUT..he has walked out on his wife and kid and lived in his car. He then moves in with a friend until he gets on his feet. Then he meets his partner who was also married with kids AND has left her marriage, family, life etc to be with him. She gets a place of her own and the guy moves in with her into HER new place (hence why he's homeless. It's her place).
Fast forward 10yrs and now he has met YOU and you are married blah blah blah and you fall in love etc.
Would you do the exact same thing she did? Even though his ex wife has now divorced him, and he has some money from that divorce?
Would you go straight in to living with him?
Or would you worry that he would do the same thing to you?
Eg Cheat on you, stay with you while he builds up money.
OR would you trust that he just went through a rough patch in his life and met this woman who loved him and he loved her, and that maybe she wasn't right for him.
So upon meeting you, he knows you are right for him/for each other and he actually won't use you because he genuinely loves you but just went through a rough patch.
Would you throw it all away for this man?
Also, these hypothetical people in your hypothetical situation need therapy. You don't stay in a relationship because it's convenient. You don't depend on someone else to make you happy. You do not place your well being entirely in the hands of another. You do not avoid any accountability for your actions/inactions by acting like a love struck victim. You do not pursue a person who's already in a relationship. You do not occupy yourself with hyperbole and conjecture to a point that you loose sight of yourself, and what matters to you.
I mean, I can keep going because it's no joke that messy. There is no foundation of 'Self' within these hypothetical people to build a quality hypothetical relationship on.
So, I say again... No. I would not.click to expand
Posted by sierra_What have you that feeling? xPosted by Earthgoddessi had a feeling it's a pisces
Wat are ur signs?
Your ,the husband and the other guy
Edit: fucking really!!!!! Don’t leave the Aries....for a Pisces smh 🤦🏽♀️click to expand
Posted by EarthgoddessWhy did you say Don't leave an Aries for a Pisces? Why is is that wrong? Just want your opinion?Posted by sierra_I just don’t get it🤷♀️Posted by Earthgoddessi had a feeling it's a pisces
Wat are ur signs?
Your ,the husband and the other guy
Edit: fucking really!!!!! Don’t leave the Aries....for a Pisces smh 🤦🏽♀️
click to expand

Posted by pooface222Sounds messy and all the more reason to not involve your child with another bloke who could potentially be unstable.Posted by JuliietteHe is not having an affair. I don't want to go into the whole story but because of our arguments, social services are involved and they separated us for the sake of our child. So he moved out to a flat somewhere.Posted by pooface222Posted by FortunaTrue.Posted by pooface222Posted by FortunaFORTUNA...
Seems too complicated. I wouldn't have gone beyond the first paragraph. If things weren't working in a marriage, fix it or move on from the marriage for yourself and your child, NOT because of some romantic interest.
Posted by pooface222This is where you address HIM and go over your problems, before moving on to...
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).Posted by pooface222I feel like this is NOT even an option. Fix your own problems first before moving on to someone else.
She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.
like Pandora said.
I DID address my husband! This is where the problems were. He refused to believe he was causing me any pain. He's controlling, bullying and very very selfish. He made excuses for behaviour to hide the fact that he hates to lose an argument. And trust me he HATES to lose. Even if he trampled all over the person he says he loves, all he cares about is WINNING!
SO..I addressed HIM. FAILED! He worked against me, not with me.
I do vaguely remember you saying that before.
So your solution was to find a new partner without addressing your own issues or fully closing the door on the last relationship? Seems like you're in a vulnerable place to be in any kind of relationship. You need to take care of your own emotional and mental health.
"HENCE I needed someone - a man who loves me - to look after ME."
You're responsible for yourself not a man or anyone else. You need to look after yourself. Take care of yourself.
I tried to address the issues but failed. He just wanted to fight.
I never fully left closed the door on my marriage. I stayed and left Emotionally. Bad idea!
I should have just divorced him.
But he moved out in September, wo t give me his address, and now I'm very very lonely. We are not speaking at all. He comes round every Sunday to see his child but he is silent. It's weird.
I wish I had left my marriage properly because now I spend every night in this house alone with my child in bed. I can't go out and I'm dying to. I'm so badly lonely.
I sometimes have friends come round but they all have families of their own to be with at night.
I am dying to go out at night and be ME. But I can't afford a child minder. My mum is elderly and lives over an hour away and doesn't drive.
I.am stuffed!
—
these last 6 months he is probably having an affair. he just left? no explanation?
click to expand
Posted by Pandora101Posted by TimonTimon: "I thought she had a job? "Posted by miriyahhhI thought she had a job?Posted by TimonOK or get a damn job and stop sitting around the house thinking about other men all day.Posted by pooface222Perfect life? That's not a perfect life just because he has a good job and salary and they have cars, and can go on holidays every year. You're a cap right? 😆
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
Materialistic things doesn't make a life perfect. I don't know if there is such a thing as a perfect life. Don't look for happiness from external factors (another man and fancy things ) but within you. I think if you have self-love you would know how to make the best decisions for you and your child whether it is removing yourself from a toxic relationship because it's harming you or working things out with your partner. Right now you're not happy where you are and instead of trying to work on that you're looking for another man bringing you that happiness. Sorry about your depression. I can imagine it must be hard on you not feeling you get the emotional support from your partner that you need. Try to find someone professional that can help you through it.
All the best.
click to expand
She has a job, what is apparently not fulfilling her and doesnt provide a financial base. It seems its more like an earning a pocket-money student thing, not really a grown-up woman thing
I mean, after 14 years together with the husband, what else she did? how old is the child? it seems the child is very young.... what she did before the child was born? sitting at home, being taken care by the husband?
have she ever provided for herself?
maybe thats the reason, why the husband got abusive towards her? that she did nothing all the time? not working on herself? not working - period? maybe the husband felt like a sugar-daddy? that they are not equal?
we dont know
Posted by Pandora101Also my child is nearly 4Posted by TimonTimon: "I thought she had a job? "Posted by miriyahhhI thought she had a job?Posted by TimonOK or get a damn job and stop sitting around the house thinking about other men all day.Posted by pooface222Perfect life? That's not a perfect life just because he has a good job and salary and they have cars, and can go on holidays every year. You're a cap right? 😆
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
Materialistic things doesn't make a life perfect. I don't know if there is such a thing as a perfect life. Don't look for happiness from external factors (another man and fancy things ) but within you. I think if you have self-love you would know how to make the best decisions for you and your child whether it is removing yourself from a toxic relationship because it's harming you or working things out with your partner. Right now you're not happy where you are and instead of trying to work on that you're looking for another man bringing you that happiness. Sorry about your depression. I can imagine it must be hard on you not feeling you get the emotional support from your partner that you need. Try to find someone professional that can help you through it.
All the best.
She has a job, what is apparently not fulfilling her and doesnt provide a financial base. It seems its more like an earning a pocket-money student thing, not really a grown-up woman thing
I mean, after 14 years together with the husband, what else she did? how old is the child? it seems the child is very young.... what she did before the child was born? sitting at home, being taken care by the husband?
have she ever provided for herself?
maybe thats the reason, why the husband got abusive towards her? that she did nothing all the time? not working on herself? not working - period? maybe the husband felt like a sugar-daddy? that they are not equal?
we dont know
click to expand

Posted by pooface222The formulative years (the first seven) are extremely important for a child....security, safety and support are very much needed...Posted by Pandora101Also my child is nearly 4Posted by TimonTimon: "I thought she had a job? "Posted by miriyahhhI thought she had a job?Posted by TimonOK or get a damn job and stop sitting around the house thinking about other men all day.Posted by pooface222Perfect life? That's not a perfect life just because he has a good job and salary and they have cars, and can go on holidays every year. You're a cap right? 😆
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
Materialistic things doesn't make a life perfect. I don't know if there is such a thing as a perfect life. Don't look for happiness from external factors (another man and fancy things ) but within you. I think if you have self-love you would know how to make the best decisions for you and your child whether it is removing yourself from a toxic relationship because it's harming you or working things out with your partner. Right now you're not happy where you are and instead of trying to work on that you're looking for another man bringing you that happiness. Sorry about your depression. I can imagine it must be hard on you not feeling you get the emotional support from your partner that you need. Try to find someone professional that can help you through it.
All the best.
She has a job, what is apparently not fulfilling her and doesnt provide a financial base. It seems its more like an earning a pocket-money student thing, not really a grown-up woman thing
I mean, after 14 years together with the husband, what else she did? how old is the child? it seems the child is very young.... what she did before the child was born? sitting at home, being taken care by the husband?
have she ever provided for herself?
maybe thats the reason, why the husband got abusive towards her? that she did nothing all the time? not working on herself? not working - period? maybe the husband felt like a sugar-daddy? that they are not equal?
we dont know
click to expand

Posted by pooface222OP: "Also my child is nearly 4"Posted by Pandora101Also my child is nearly 4Posted by TimonTimon: "I thought she had a job? "Posted by miriyahhhI thought she had a job?Posted by TimonOK or get a damn job and stop sitting around the house thinking about other men all day.Posted by pooface222Perfect life? That's not a perfect life just because he has a good job and salary and they have cars, and can go on holidays every year. You're a cap right? 😆
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
Materialistic things doesn't make a life perfect. I don't know if there is such a thing as a perfect life. Don't look for happiness from external factors (another man and fancy things ) but within you. I think if you have self-love you would know how to make the best decisions for you and your child whether it is removing yourself from a toxic relationship because it's harming you or working things out with your partner. Right now you're not happy where you are and instead of trying to work on that you're looking for another man bringing you that happiness. Sorry about your depression. I can imagine it must be hard on you not feeling you get the emotional support from your partner that you need. Try to find someone professional that can help you through it.
All the best.
She has a job, what is apparently not fulfilling her and doesnt provide a financial base. It seems its more like an earning a pocket-money student thing, not really a grown-up woman thing
I mean, after 14 years together with the husband, what else she did? how old is the child? it seems the child is very young.... what she did before the child was born? sitting at home, being taken care by the husband?
have she ever provided for herself?
maybe thats the reason, why the husband got abusive towards her? that she did nothing all the time? not working on herself? not working - period? maybe the husband felt like a sugar-daddy? that they are not equal?
we dont know
click to expand
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.
BUT..he has walked out on his wife and kid and lived in his car. He then moves in with a friend until he gets on his feet. Then he meets his partner who was also married with kids AND has left her marriage, family, life etc to be with him. She gets a place of her own and the guy moves in with her into HER new place (hence why he's homeless. It's her place).
Fast forward 10yrs and now he has met YOU and you are married blah blah blah and you fall in love etc.
Would you do the exact same thing she did? Even though his ex wife has now divorced him, and he has some money from that divorce?
Would you go straight in to living with him?
Or would you worry that he would do the same thing to you?
Eg Cheat on you, stay with you while he builds up money.
OR would you trust that he just went through a rough patch in his life and met this woman who loved him and he loved her, and that maybe she wasn't right for him.
So upon meeting you, he knows you are right for him/for each other and he actually won't use you because he genuinely loves you but just went through a rough patch.
Would you throw it all away for this man?