Would you throw away your entire life, for someone you love, even though they may use you?

If you were married with a child but for various reasons didn't love your husband anymore - may be he treats you like butter, but in other ways is a good provider, so you love your life with him, more than you love him; Would you throw it all away to start
pooface222February 26, 2018 7:54am
140 replies
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  • pooface222
    female
    If you were married with a child but for various reasons didn't love your husband anymore - may be he treats you like butter, but in other ways is a good provider, so you love your life with him, more than you love him; Would you throw it all away to start a new life with a man who is in love with you (and you with him), BUT is homeless but has a job?

    For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
    But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).
    She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.
    BUT..he has walked out on his wife and kid and lived in his car. He then moves in with a friend until he gets on his feet. Then he meets his partner who was also married with kids AND has left her marriage, family, life etc to be with him. She gets a place of her own and the guy moves in with her into HER new place (hence why he's homeless. It's her place).

    Fast forward 10yrs and now he has met YOU and you are married blah blah blah and you fall in love etc.
    Would you do the exact same thing she did? Even though his ex wife has now divorced him, and he has some money from that divorce?
    Would you go straight in to living with him?

    Or would you worry that he would do the same thing to you?
    Eg Cheat on you, stay with you while he builds up money.
    OR would you trust that he just went through a rough patch in his life and met this woman who loved him and he loved her, and that maybe she wasn't right for him.
    So upon meeting you, he knows you are right for him/for each other and he actually won't use you because he genuinely loves you but just went through a rough patch.

    Would you throw it all away for this man?
  • GuardianAnu
    Taurus Sun/Venus/Jupiter, Cancer Moon/Rising/Mars and Saturn
    female
  • ChocolateHazelnut
    Lover of chocolate and hazelnuts combined ;)
    20 years old female
    It's a bit too much for me. Love is nice.... But why should I destroy my life for it xD?
  • ChocolateHazelnut
    Lover of chocolate and hazelnuts combined ;)
    20 years old female
    Posted by Earthgoddess
    Posted by ChocolateHazelnut
    It's a bit too much for me. Love is nice.... But why should I destroy my life for it xD?


    Because once you experience true love...it doesn’t feel like living without it
    click to expand


    So I am pretty sure I haven't yet experience it.
  • MyStarsShine
    Venus ruled, Star gazing Scorpio with Moon in Taurus
    No....I would put my child first
  • Pandora101
    Sun Aqua, Moon Canc, Venus Pisc, Mars Aries, Mercury Cap, Asc Scorp
    female
    OP, it seems you somehow realized, your barbie-doll life with your provider is not enough for you.... the homeless looser is not important in this case, he was just a trigger to start realizing your own home situation....

    its not going to help you, if you elope with somebody, because its again the same - a man, who defines you

    try to make your own life worth, face your problems first

    PS. I think its a fake post, nobody is so dumb
    its a provocation
  • pooface222
    female
    Posted by sierra_
    yes

    but not in that situation


    Err ok but I MEANT in that situation. I'm asking people if they would throw it all away for a guy who maybe just went through a rough patch, and has stayed with his partner in order to build up some money.
    But now he wants to be with You but wouldn't use you for money because he genuinely loves you..
  • pooface222
    female
    Posted by Pandora101
    OP, it seems you somehow realized, your barbie-doll life with your provider is not enough for you.... the homeless looser is not important in this case, he was just a trigger to start realizing your own home situation....

    its not going to help you, if you elope with somebody, because its again the same - a man, who defines you

    try to make your own life worth, face your problems first

    PS. I think its a fake post, nobody is so dumb
    its a provocation


    What do you mean by provocation?
    And why do you think it's a fake post?
  • pooface222
    female
    Posted by Fortuna
    Posted by Pandora101
    OP, it seems you somehow realized, your barbie-doll life with your provider is not enough for you.... the homeless looser is not important in this case, he was just a trigger to start realizing your own home situation....

    its not going to help you, if you elope with somebody, because its again the same - a man, who defines you

    try to make your own life worth, face your problems first

    PS. I think its a fake post, nobody is so dumb
    its a provocation


    It's not a fake post. This has become a saga. It's been going on for some time now. I feel like she needs to spend some time, alone, away from both men and somehow get a reality check. Hope she can figure it out soon for the sake of her child. Sad

    Good luck, op. Please take into consideration that this also affects an innocent person, your child, not just you and the men involved.
    click to expand


    Ok thanks but no need to be rude. I get it.
    I've had depression that I didn't even realise I had and I realise now it started about 3yrs ago. I was spiralling downwards into a depression and didn't even know it.
    I was scared and didn't know what was happening to me. I was also confused. So I made sure my child was looked after and cared for- by me - but all the while I was falling apart.
    HENCE I needed someone - a man who loves me - to look after ME.
  • MyStarsShine
    Venus ruled, Star gazing Scorpio with Moon in Taurus
    Posted by Fortuna
    Posted by Pandora101
    OP, it seems you somehow realized, your barbie-doll life with your provider is not enough for you.... the homeless looser is not important in this case, he was just a trigger to start realizing your own home situation....

    its not going to help you, if you elope with somebody, because its again the same - a man, who defines you

    try to make your own life worth, face your problems first

    PS. I think its a fake post, nobody is so dumb
    its a provocation


    It's not a fake post. This has become a saga. It's been going on for some time now. I feel like she needs to spend some time, alone, away from both men and somehow get a reality check. Hope she can figure it out soon for the sake of her child. Sad

    Good luck, op. Please take into consideration that this also affects an innocent person, your child, not just you and the men involved.
    click to expand


    Very well said

    👍
  • MyStarsShine
    Venus ruled, Star gazing Scorpio with Moon in Taurus
    Posted by pooface222
    Posted by Fortuna
    Posted by Pandora101
    OP, it seems you somehow realized, your barbie-doll life with your provider is not enough for you.... the homeless looser is not important in this case, he was just a trigger to start realizing your own home situation....

    its not going to help you, if you elope with somebody, because its again the same - a man, who defines you

    try to make your own life worth, face your problems first

    PS. I think its a fake post, nobody is so dumb
    its a provocation


    It's not a fake post. This has become a saga. It's been going on for some time now. I feel like she needs to spend some time, alone, away from both men and somehow get a reality check. Hope she can figure it out soon for the sake of her child. Sad

    Good luck, op. Please take into consideration that this also affects an innocent person, your child, not just you and the men involved.


    Ok thanks but no need to be rude. I get it.
    I've had depression that I didn't even realise I had and I realise now it started about 3yrs ago. I was spiralling downwards into a depression and didn't even know it.
    I was scared and didn't know what was happening to me. I was also confused. So I made sure my child was looked after and cared for- by me - but all the while I was falling apart.
    HENCE I needed someone - a man who loves me - to look after ME.
    click to expand


    .....and what if he ended up not looking after you ?
  • Posted by pooface222
    Posted by sierra_
    yes

    but not in that situation


    Err ok but I MEANT in that situation. I'm asking people if they would throw it all away for a guy who maybe just went through a rough patch, and has stayed with his partner in order to build up some money.
    But now he wants to be with You but wouldn't use you for money because he genuinely loves you..
    click to expand


    and has stayed with his partner in order to build up some money.

    ☝️ This doesn’t sound very trustworthy
  • pooface222
    female
    Posted by Fortuna

    Seems too complicated. I wouldn't have gone beyond the first paragraph. If things weren't working in a marriage, fix it or move on from the marriage for yourself and your child, NOT because of some romantic interest.


    Posted by pooface222


    For example, let's say a woman has the perfect life. Married. A husband with a good job and salary. She loves her job too. A child. A nice home. They both have cars and a nice social life, Holidays every year etc..
    But she's not happy with HIM (maybe he puts her down, takes her for granted).


    This is where you address HIM and go over your problems, before moving on to...

    Posted by pooface222


    She meets someone else who fulfills her emotionally and they have so much in common they are like soul mates and they want to be together so much it hurts to be apart.


    I feel like this is NOT even an option. Fix your own problems first before moving on to someone else.

    like Pandora said.
    click to expand


    FORTUNA...

    I DID address my husband! This is where the problems were. He refused to believe he was causing me any pain. He's controlling, bullying and very very selfish. He made excuses for behaviour to hide the fact that he hates to lose an argument. And trust me he HATES to lose. Even if he trampled all over the person he says he loves, all he cares about is WINNING!
    SO..I addressed HIM. FAILED! He worked against me, not with me.
  • AerialView
    I collect experience💨
    male from Arlong Park
    You've been wanting to leave your husband for months now.

    The grass isn't always greener.
  • pooface222
    female
    Posted by Earthgoddess
    Posted by ChocolateHazelnut
    It's a bit too much for me. Love is nice.... But why should I destroy my life for it xD?


    Because once you experience true love...it doesn’t feel like living without it
    click to expand


    Thank you Earth Goddess. That's what I'm trying to say here.
    My husband is a cold calculating controlling bastard and I've had problems loving him because of it.
    I found true love with the other guy.
    And I found it after trying for years with .y husband.
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