Is It Okay to talk to ex's? (Page 2)

Damn...good thread lol

Had a similar incident happen once where the ex scorpio asked me to hang while I was dating someone. He still had a lot of power over me so I agreed. We met at a restaurant so I knew nothing would happen, but I still felt bad and told my SO about it. Later on I dropped that same guy and dated the scorpio right after. If it doesn't happen then it happens eventually. :/

Posted by happykitsune
Had a similar incident happen once where the ex scorpio asked me to hang while I was dating someone. He still had a lot of power over me so I agreed. We met at a restaurant so I knew nothing would happen, but I still felt bad and told my SO about it. Later on I dropped that same guy and dated the scorpio right after. If it doesn't happen then it happens eventually. :/

I'm so wondering that right now. I sort of tried to cut things off with the leo this morning and he wasn't having it. Than I felt really bad.

Posted by DarkFire
God, for the last few weeks everything I write on FB gets a like from all 4 of my previous exes. I'm about to invite them all over for a party. Great idea or disaster?

orgy?

Posted by DarkFire
You have no idea how amazing that would be. The problem is I have no idea if they are ok with each other or fighting for my attention. This happens each time they break up with a new bf, only this time it seems they are all desperate at one time.

Then again, that could just be my ego talking. As far as their concerned they could just be attempting to be nice. I'm nervous to attempt, but my oh my would that be a life experience.

I thought you were a scorp? You a leo?

Posted by DarkFire
You have no idea how amazing that would be. The problem is I have no idea if they are ok with each other or fighting for my attention. This happens each time they break up with a new bf, only this time it seems they are all desperate at one time.

Then again, that could just be my ego talking. As far as their concerned they could just be attempting to be nice. I'm nervous to attempt, but my oh my would that be a life experience.

naw, not your ego and youre not imagining things. It comes in waves. check your moon cycles.

Posted by Sag89

Posted by DarkFire
You have no idea how amazing that would be. The problem is I have no idea if they are ok with each other or fighting for my attention. This happens each time they break up with a new bf, only this time it seems they are all desperate at one time.

Then again, that could just be my ego talking. As far as their concerned they could just be attempting to be nice. I'm nervous to attempt, but my oh my would that be a life experience.

I thought you were a scorp? You a leo?

click to expand

leo sun, scorp moon

Natal

hahahaha..

Posted by DMV

Posted by Sag89

Posted by DarkFire
You have no idea how amazing that would be. The problem is I have no idea if they are ok with each other or fighting for my attention. This happens each time they break up with a new bf, only this time it seems they are all desperate at one time.

Then again, that could just be my ego talking. As far as their concerned they could just be attempting to be nice. I'm nervous to attempt, but my oh my would that be a life experience.

I thought you were a scorp? You a leo?

leo sun, scorp moon

click to expand

Nice, hey leo I'll talk you and all your gfs on

**take

Hey you're dealing with Sags here, don't get all logical now k

well this thread turned out gross

Posted by tiziani

Posted by DMV
Natal

Hmmm intriguing, cheers. Which part of the cycle is when they want to reach for you?

click to expand

i havent paid attention lately. I will let you know on the next wave where the moon is.

Posted by AfternoonDelights22
well this thread turned out gross

your gross

Posted by tiziani
Fair play. I think I'm starting to like Sagittarius as a sign. So you guys don't believe in "emotional cheating" eh. It was always a bogus concept in my book too.

oh naw Tiz, I dont play with games like these, but I dont tell other ppl what to do. I believe in all aspects of cheating.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by DMV

Posted by tiziani
Fair play. I think I'm starting to like Sagittarius as a sign. So you guys don't believe in "emotional cheating" eh. It was always a bogus concept in my book too.

oh naw Tiz, I dont play with games like these, but I dont tell other ppl what to do. I believe in all aspects of cheating.

You mean you don't talk to exes?

So do I even want to ask what "emotional cheating" is at this point or should I just leave it as something I may never understand?

click to expand

i haven't talked to my only ex in years. Dont see the point. Flings, sure im cordial. You say hi, I say hi.

At what point....if you gave to ask, then you know its wtong.

*have

But again im not throwing stones at any one and what they do. I got shit of my own that people frown upon.

I'll give a quick take on "emotional cheating." Really, there is no separation whether its physical or purely emotional because of the damage it creates. Violates the integrity and trust of the situation. Hence, it even happens in open relationships.

oh boy, this thread sure got out of hand.


i take it the Leo never knew of what happened? He'd be pretty much devastated if he did.


EMOTIONAL CHEATING. Hmm. I believe it means having feelings for someone else other than the relationship you have. And for me, this is the worst of all.

You can cheat physically, people do it in various ways. KISS. SEX. You can do this once without having feelings or emotions for the other person.

But when one starts to cheat emotionally, that person had 'invested' already. Must have been constant kissing, sex and there would be hanging out and dating to be able to achieve this.

Typos^^^

Emotional cheating sounds like a term being thrown around to control one's personal freedom. I can only gain insight, share my thoughts, fears, feelings with "you" because I happen to share my body with you? Pass.

Posted by PhoenixRising
Typos^^^

Emotional cheating sounds like a term being thrown around to control one's personal freedom. I can only gain insight, share my thoughts, fears, feelings with "you" because I happen to share my body with you? Pass.

Ironically, most people use manipulation(verbal or otherwise) to control that very freedom so that they may be intimate with that person. They paint an image that it is "safe" to be around them. Heck even honest people do it to a certain extent. Hence the root cause of emotional cheating.

Look at it this way, if every one exercised and grasped the concept of personal freedom , there wouldn't be any arguments and things would be pure. People could come and go as they pleased and everyone would be happy and understood. It applies to both the romantic and platonic levels. No more why he/she disappeared. The truth is, with bonding and intimacy comes expectations...the expectation of emotional consideration. Sorry, its unavoidable. It's why things are more complicated. While everyone is ultimately responsible for their emotional well being, how others treat us has an impact on that. Spiritually speaking, when you do harm intentionally to another, ultimately you harm yourself because of karma. Therefor, and some will disagree, you have a responsibility to how you impact others governed by the rules of natural law. Freedom costs somebody.

Emotional cheating has to do with your intentions being inconsistent. Not only with how you expect to be treated but how you treat others. Easiest example is implying or directly projecting monogamy but actively going outside the relationship. At some point in time, that person being cheated on expressed in some way that they want monogamy. The person gives them that assurance but then does the opposite. The impact is obvious. What immediately goes out the window is trust...and yes trust is an emotion and the integrity of the bond. This causes emotional damage and why cheating is frowned upon. Dare I say, its a character issue and has nothing to do with societal rules.

Let's try it with an open relationship. The implication with being open is that there is no expectation of commitment as defined in monogamy and that's ok. Just don't then expect the rules and subsequent respect of monogamy in that situation. Hence why you see even some open relationships have trouble even in open

Posted by PhoenixRising
Typos^^^

Emotional cheating sounds like a term being thrown around to control one's personal freedom. I can only gain insight, share my thoughts, fears, feelings with "you" because I happen to share my body with you? Pass.

Ironically, most people use manipulation(verbal or otherwise) to control that very freedom so that they may be intimate with that person. They paint an image that it is "safe" to be around them. Heck even honest people do it to a certain extent. Hence the root cause of emotional cheating.

Look at it this way, if every one exercised and grasped the concept of personal freedom , there wouldn't be any arguments and things would be pure. People could come and go as they pleased and everyone would be happy and understood. It applies to both the romantic and platonic levels. No more why he/she disappeared. The truth is, with bonding and intimacy comes expectations...the expectation of emotional consideration. Sorry, its unavoidable. It's why things are more complicated. While everyone is ultimately responsible for their emotional well being, how others treat us has an impact on that. Spiritually speaking, when you do harm intentionally to another, ultimately you harm yourself because of karma. Therefor, and some will disagree, you have a responsibility to how you impact others governed by the rules of natural law. Freedom costs somebody.

Emotional cheating has to do with your intentions being inconsistent. Not only with how you expect to be treated but how you treat others. Easiest example is implying or directly projecting monogamy but actively going outside the relationship. At some point in time, that person being cheated on expressed in some way that they want monogamy. The person gives them that assurance but then does the opposite. The impact is obvious. What immediately goes out the window is trust...and yes trust is an emotion and the integrity of the bond. This causes emotional damage and why cheating is frowned upon. Dare I say, its a character issue and has nothing to do with societal rules.

Let's try it with an open relationship. The implication with being open is that there is no expectation of commitment as defined in monogamy and that's ok. Just don't then expect the rules and subsequent respect of monogamy in that situation. Hence why you see even some open relationships have trouble even in open

Here's the rest:

Emotional cheating stems from emotional immaturity. In reality and this is most likely the case, if you don't give a damn about someone's feelings other than yours, then you're most likely to cause them harm. Therefore, it stems from selfishness. Just being honest. _??_

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by PhoenixRising
Typos^^^

Emotional cheating sounds like a term being thrown around to control one's personal freedom. I can only gain insight, share my thoughts, fears, feelings with "you" because I happen to share my body with you? Pass.

Look at it this way, if every one exercised and grasped the concept of personal freedom , there wouldn't be any arguments and things would be pure. People could come and go as they pleased and everyone would be happy and understood. It applies to both the romantic and platonic levels. No more why he/she disappeared. The truth is, with bonding and intimacy comes expectations...the expectation of emotional consideration. Sorry, its unavoidable. It's why things are more complicated. While everyone is ultimately responsible for their emotional well being, how others treat us has an impact on that. Spiritually speaking, when you do harm intentionally to another, ultimately you harm yourself because of karma. Therefor, and some will disagree, you have a responsibility to how you impact others governed by the rules of natural law. Freedom costs somebody.

Emotional cheating has to do with your intentions being inconsistent. Not only with how you expect to be treated but how you treat others. Easiest example is implying or directly projecting monogamy but actively going outside the relationship. At some point in time, that person being cheated on expressed in some way that they want monogamy. The person gives them that assurance but then does the opposite. The impact is obvious. What immediately goes out the window is trust...and yes trust is an emotion and the integrity of the bond. This causes emotional damage and why cheating is frowned upon. Dare I say, its a character issue and has nothing to do with societal rules.

click to expand

Fully understood and not what I was arguing. My post also wasn't directed to anyone sharing their POV on emotional cheating. It was a statement highlighting how I have seen it used. Similar to the example Tiz used.

^^^

Wasn't arguing either...just explaining _??_

Often, not in all cases or even in the way you are explaining it, but often enough I see the term thrown around when a person feel insecure and expects that by virtue of being in a relationship you own your partners thoughts and feelings. When someone share their feelings, concerns etc that is a choice that should always come from that person. It allows for a deeper connection naturally.

I find it interesting that if I (purely for example) were to have a conversation about my fears, dreams, anger what have you, with a female friend that is fine, but as soon as the gender changes it's emotional cheating when the intention is not to connect on the level as I would with my partner, but be understood and support in a way my partner may not be able to provide for whatever reason. This may be for a number of different reasons. However to be "faithful" I must put my needs aside and just deal. A person's source of support, knowledge doesn't fall to one simply because they sleep together, but many expect and demand this. My post was just highlighting the point I was making in another thread asking the question should one person be your "everything" and the unrealistic demands that creates.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
^^^

Wasn't arguing either...just explaining _??_

It's all good. I wasn't sure if my post was being read as an attack on the opinions that were already posted because that wasn't the case.

I guess what distinguishes emotional cheating as I see it being used vs what you've highlighted is the intention.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by beautifulsoul74
^^^

Wasn't arguing either...just explaining _??_

It's all good. I wasn't sure if my post was being read as an attack on the opinions that were already posted because that wasn't the case.

click to expand

Mercury in Sag strikes again lol. Direct and honest. _—

Posted by PhoenixRising
I guess what distinguishes emotional cheating as I see it being used vs what you've highlighted is the intention.

True. Lmao...look at this though. Doesn't it apply to everything to a certain extent? Like, okay, say two people meet(nothing romantic) at a coffee house or something and they find they have a lot in common. You ain't gonna run the other person off and make them mad or disgusted(both emotions) by farting in front of them are you? You definitely ain't gonna be honest by even telling them that you have to fart. You gonna hold that bitch in and pray like hell that it subsides or politely excuse yourself and go to the bathroom and let it rip like the Philharmonic Symphony and don't cone out until it dissipates right? Yeah, you could've been honest and the other person is expecting some level of honestly but who does that. "Man I'm sorry but I gotta poot! Be right back!"

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by PhoenixRising
Typos^^^

Emotional cheating sounds like a term being thrown around to control one's personal freedom. I can only gain insight, share my thoughts, fears, feelings with "you" because I happen to share my body with you? Pass.

The truth is, with bonding and intimacy comes expectations...the expectation of emotional consideration. Sorry, its unavoidable. It's why things are more complicated.... Freedom costs somebody.

click to expand

Hmmm, well if I understand this correctly, I see a potential problem with this. One being, most people do not communicate their expectations and it is often assumed you are on the same page regarding emotional considerations. Two, much of the time people have a different understanding of "emotional consideration". For you (general you) it may mean our issues as a couple and what I share with you intimately stays between us, but that does not mean that all of my emotions get shared with you and you alone. For your partner it mean exactly that. "You're mine and if you dare share anything that is deemed emotional with another, it's a form of cheating".

That's the issue I have. If a person respects the privacy of their union with another and their SOs privacy but they share their feelings on matters with another, it is viewed as emotional cheating.

Keep in mind, I'm playing devils advocate here 😈. I personally wouldn't share personal things with anyone other than my partner, but that speaks more to my personality. I am a private person and I don't share things overly sensitive with "strangers". I wouldn't have that expectation of my partner though. For me, it says more that he has the freedom to share his thoughts with anyone, but time and time again come to me. It speaks to his level of trust and his desire to deepen that bond. If he doesn't, I'm not throwing all sorts of demands on him, I simply know where we stand as a couple.

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by PhoenixRising
I guess what distinguishes emotional cheating as I see it being used vs what you've highlighted is the intention.

True. Lmao...look at this though. Doesn't it apply to everything to a certain extent? Like, okay, say two people meet(nothing romantic) at a coffee house or something and they find they have a lot in common. You ain't gonna run the other person off and make them mad or disgusted(both emotions) by farting in front of them are you? You definitely ain't gonna be honest by even telling them that you have to fart. You gonna hold that bitch in and pray like hell that it subsides or politely excuse yourself and go to the bathroom and let it rip like the Philharmonic Symphony and don't cone out until it dissipates right? Yeah, you could've been honest and the other person is expecting some level of honestly but who does that. "Man I'm sorry but I gotta poot! Be right back!"

click to expand

😆!!! .... Just why? Out of all the analogies you could have used, why? Lol.

Sags *heart*

Posted by PhoenixRising
Often, not in all cases or even in the way you are explaining it, but often enough I see the term thrown around when a person feel insecure and expects that by virtue of being in a relationship you own your partners thoughts and feelings. When someone share their feelings, concerns etc that is a choice that should always come from that person. It allows for a deeper connection naturally.

I find it interesting that if I (purely for example) were to have a conversation about my fears, dreams, anger what have you, with a female friend that is fine, but as soon as the gender changes it's emotional cheating when the intention is not to connect on the level as I would with my partner, but be understood and support in a way my partner may not be able to provide for whatever reason. This may be for a number of different reasons. However to be "faithful" I must put my needs aside and just deal. A person's source of support, knowledge doesn't fall to one simply because they sleep together, but many expect and demand this. My post was just highlighting the point I was making in another thread asking the question should one person be your "everything" and the unrealistic demands that creates.

Man, I feel you on that. If you desire someone that you can confide in emotionally, find him. They are out there. As to whether it should be done that way, there truly is no right or wrong answer. I think that, the only thing we can ask for is that they care even if they can't understand. I think the emotional part that is never understood about us is actually beautiful because it makes us unique. It also lets you know whether or not you should be with them. What's implied by that is, they may not fully grasp your feelings, but yet they treat them with respect, kindness, and care...compassion. That is what matters. The effort to connect_??_

Posted by PhoenixRising
Sags *heart*

Scorpios_?'?

Heck the analogy was the only one I could think of! Lol_—

As to when you were playing devils advocate, I agree completely. The emotional cheating thing can go overboard. Even if you only want all things emotional to only be shared between you two, it should grow to that point and not be forced. Realistically, you can't expect it. We all have someone other than our SOs that we share a part of ourselves with. Mothers, fathers, brothers. Even exes that we've become platonic good friends with. Its as you said, people don't discuss those things and they should. Why? I still think it goes back to having a sense of responsibility. Maybe being afraid of running someone off because of a possible argument or appearing to make things serious before the other person is ready?

That's another angle. If you aren't trying to be serious, why have a serious discussion? I mean, I may be wrong, but sometimes I think too much emphasis is put on keeping it light and having fun but honestly the emotional part is always going to come up at some point.