Self Sabotage—

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Aquariusbaby80
@Aquariusbaby80
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 12 · Topics: 2
So back story.....we've been together for a year and I am so in love with this man. We've laughed together, cried together, had adventures together, love each others kids/family, and definitely discussed marriage.

So what's the issue— Another woman. Just one particular woman. He was in a FWB/friends with her and for years but they were never officially in a relationship. He said he doesn't have any feelings for her, but she's another story. She is clearly in love with him and their relationship started to make me uncomfortable, so I told him I wasn't comfortable with them talking. He said he won't talk to her anymore, he's not jeapordizing our relationship for someone he doesn't care about like that, etc. BUT I have caught him after that talking back to her (she is very open on social media about it).

I caught it again today. I broke it off with him. He wasn't surprised as he knew and agreed this was going to happen if I caught them talking again. I'm so hurt and angry and confused. I felt like he self sabotaged us. Is this something sag males do— Doesn't seem like it from the ones I know.
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Vacation Queen
@saggurl88
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 22238 · Posts: 25616 · Topics: 84
You should give him another shot! Now that he clearly sees that the other woman can't be trusted with just being friends and communicating privately, he may cut her off.

Yes, he should of respected your wishes but if he doesn't have any feelings for her, he could just appreciate her personality. They were friends for a while, If he wanted a relationship, he would've had one with her. Clearly, he chose you.

It was just friendship and there's nothing wrong with that but he's learning the hard way that you mean what you say.
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28991 · Topics: 654
Posted by saggurl88
You should give him another shot! Now that he clearly sees that the other woman can't be trusted with just being friends and communicating privately, he may cut her off.

Yes, he should of respected your wishes but if he doesn't have any feelings for her, he could just appreciate her personality. They were friends for a while, If he wanted a relationship, he would've had one with her. Clearly, he chose you.

It was just friendship and there's nothing wrong with that but he's learning the hard way that you mean what you say.
I wonder if she got with him while he was still with homegirl?
Profile picture of saggurl88
Vacation Queen
@saggurl88
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 22238 · Posts: 25616 · Topics: 84
Posted by DMV
Posted by saggurl88
You should give him another shot! Now that he clearly sees that the other woman can't be trusted with just being friends and communicating privately, he may cut her off.

Yes, he should of respected your wishes but if he doesn't have any feelings for her, he could just appreciate her personality. They were friends for a while, If he wanted a relationship, he would've had one with her. Clearly, he chose you.

It was just friendship and there's nothing wrong with that but he's learning the hard way that you mean what you say.
I wonder if she got with him while he was still with homegirl?

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Profile picture of Aquariusbaby80
Aquariusbaby80
@Aquariusbaby80
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 12 · Topics: 2
Posted by DMV
Posted by saggurl88
You should give him another shot! Now that he clearly sees that the other woman can't be trusted with just being friends and communicating privately, he may cut her off.

Yes, he should of respected your wishes but if he doesn't have any feelings for her, he could just appreciate her personality. They were friends for a while, If he wanted a relationship, he would've had one with her. Clearly, he chose you.

It was just friendship and there's nothing wrong with that but he's learning the hard way that you mean what you say.
I wonder if she got with him while he was still with homegirl?

click to expand

According to him he wasn't. They were not in a relationship, just friends, not having sex. She backed up that story as well BUT also said she cut him off because he didn't want to be more than friends. But they both could be lying....
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Comments: 295 · Posts: 28991 · Topics: 654
Posted by Aquariusbaby80
Posted by DMV
Yah me thinks they were knocking boots.


Oh, they definitely were at one point. They have a 2-3 year relationship of friends/fucking. Now I can't confirm or deny if it was happening after we became a couple. Never had any real proof to say that for sure.
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I think you were right to do what you did.

I couldn't live with that in the back of my mind.

Plus some sag men try to get one over on people.

Plenty of fish in the sea
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Aquariusbaby80
@Aquariusbaby80
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 12 · Topics: 2
Posted by aflyingarrow
How did he react when you broke it off?
Well we were on a plane and neither one of us had gotten any sleep in almost 24hrs....so he looked hurt, let out a couple tears, but didn't say too much. After we got back home yesterday, he came and got his stuff from my house but we haven't talked since. I honestly don't know if he'll reach out but I know I'm going to so we may not talk for a good while. My stuff is still at his place but I haven't brought up coming to get it and neither has he.