the famous scorpio disappearing act

i don't know if this is only me or not, but do you other scorps out there have trouble being consistent with people? like calling them or making plans or whatever? everyone always tells me they're afraid to make plans with me because i'm the "mysterious one" who "disappears for a while and then reappears weeks later."

i've always thought this was because on many levels i'm a loner and i know all people have alterior motives, so i tend to be really harsh in judging them.

most of my romantic relationships have fallen apart because i've been accused of being too closed off, manipulative and "intense."

so my question is, do you find yourself astrologically prone to this kind of behavior, or is this more of a "personal experience" kinda thing? thanks!

Its not just you. Believe me! Everything you just described is what people/friens/family/co-workers/bf's....tel me all the time!

I'm kind of in the middle of one of those "disappearing acts."

So no, it's not just you.

I do it too...A lot of my girl friends can't understand the need for me to disappear but I don't understand their need to be constantly together. That freaks me out..its too much affection and makes me feel claustrophobic..I need space..

scorp-in-law... thats some good insight. thanks 🙂

Wow, it has been a long time since a thread struck such a chord with me on a personal level. I feel exactly the same as the rest of you, people have told me the same exact things, and I agree that it can be a lonely place.

It's nice to know that none of us are really alone, though.

These post really hit close to home. I usually lurk, but I just had to respond. I can count on my fingers how many times I have been to several friend's house, but they constantly are at mine and showing up unannounced to talk and just be here.

I am here for everyone, but have no one here to understand me. When I do try communicating feelings, I feel like it's pointless and no one at all gets it. I am going through a big disappearing act right now because I believe I have been taken for granted due to some heavy people-pleasing(and not enough self-pleasing) that I have been unconsciously doing for the last few years.

soooo curious... how does one become a confidante for you scorps—? what is it about a person that you would find them trustworthy enough to open up to?

I am curious about the disappearing act as well and the phone calls.

The Scorp who's expressed an interest in me has been out of state for the last week. When we last talked, he said he'd call me when he got back.

Well he's been home since yesterday morning but I haven't heard from him. I haven't called him because I've been rather busy with my days, and I don't want to appear to be needy for him as well.

I know that since he's been gone for a week that he may be catching up with other friends and family, but as I was reading these threads, I realized that I've noticed the "no calls" trait in this Scorpio. Some days, before he left for his vacation, he'd go by without calling me, but then other days, he would call me 3-4 times a day.

Therefore, needless to say, I'm curious about this thread because it appears it's not just a "guy" thing but rather a "Scorpio" thing.

sweet jeezus it's true

I get the same comments from people all the time. For me, I need my quiet time to think about things, and all of the hustle and bustle of other's lives can feel overwhelming to me. Sometimes I feel very social and sometimes I don't. The thing I had to learn is to not beat myself up for being a loner at times. The one thing that people know about me, is when they really need me, I am there. My priorities are just different than others. I don't need a lot of people around me to feel complete. I am my own best company.

SensualScorp; does/has that hurt your relationships? since you say you get these comments from people all the time, how do you communicate this to them so they understand that it's not necessarily them and that it's who you are?

thanks again scorp-in-law

Scorp-in-law, whatever you have said, describes me so well. Each and every thing in it 🙂
And you have the gift with words..our deeper feelings and interactions with others explained so well !!!! This is the first time some one has shed some light so beautifully into the dark recesses of the scorpion soul !!

Hmm...I've got to say that I am not a sensitive person. I have seen on these boards that scorps are...and I cringe when sometimes some of them lash out for what I perceive to be no big deal. Maybe the fire in my chart plays a big role..Hmmm..

"I think that the prople in our lives fail to realize that when we really care for and about them, we are constantly thinking about them, worrying, fretting, and sending our positive energy your way?whether or not we maintain frequent contact. If we have allowed them in our lives it is because we truly care about them--forever....."

Very True ... How I wish I could let this be known to HER .. she is a Virgo btw .. so does she already know this?
Excellent thread btw .. Very touching

I get the same comments from people all the time. For me, I need my quiet time to think about things, and all of the hustle and bustle of other's lives can feel overwhelming to me. Sometimes I feel very social and sometimes I don't. The thing I had to learn is to not beat myself up for being a loner at times. The one thing that people know about me, is when they really need me, I am there. My priorities are just different than others. I don't need a lot of people around me to feel complete. I am my own best company.

Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding! SensualScorpion hit the nail on the head! I do not need others around me all the time! Go Away! Don't get me wrong i have a circle of friends but clingyness is a big No-No!

I don't disappear though. I am always around. Just not for others to necessarily reach out to. I hate talking on the phone. Unless absolutely necessary. Especially if i am doing the dialing. I really need to talk if i call someone. They already know the deal.

HoustonPeach - to answer your question, does that ever hurt your relationships. I think the answer is probably yes in all honesty. The thing is, I very carefully select who I let into my life. I can tell almost right away when I meet someone if they will be one of those people I "let in". If they are, then I will give them enough feedback from me, so they don't feel neglected or shunned. If it is someone new I have met and I get the "feeling" that I don't really care to know them, then I just let them fade into the background. I know it probably seems selfish of me, but I hate to explain myself to anyone. I don't know if it's laziness on my part or just the fact that I don't want them to know. There's that secretive and mysterious side coming out. The people that I love dearly, I will take the time to let them know how important they are to me and if for some reason I can't spend time with them, it's because of another reason, not because I don't care about them.

Makes total sense, SS.

scorp-in-law, i completely and 100% know what you're taking about when you say you're the "rock of gibraltar" for everyone. a few weeks ago i literally broke down for the first time in my life because i was counseling so many friends with their problems while simultaneously dealing with an autistic child at my work, on top of all the other kids (i'm an elementary school counselor.)

it's very hard to explain our feelings, i think, because a big part of being a scorp is feeling other peoples' pain on top of our own, so we never know whose pain we're explaining (or feeling, for that matter.)

i believe all scorps have this kind of flood gate mentality when it comes to life, where we can either be completely closed off and into our own selves and our own space, or we can be completely open and unleash the powerful flood of emotional energy that's built up inside of us. because we deal with other peoples' guilts and fears and emotions and we have such darkness within ourselves, too, we have way too much to deal with to be able to balance ourselves gracefully in social situations. that's why the phone and just general "hanging out" can be such a burden at times, because we have a knack for seeing things as how they really are and our naturally therapeutic scorpio minds want to fix whatever is wrong with those we love first before we can concentrate on ourselves.

i was talking about this to my cancer mom and, interestingly, she feels the same way. i wonder if this isn't so much a scorpio thing as it is a water sign thing - maybe the three signs just deal differently with their problems? we scorps tend to keep it inside and let it ravage us, using our ambition as an emotional stabilizer, whereas cancers are very open and confrontational with it. i'm not so sure about pisces - the few pisceans i have known have been very involved in drug addiction (i myself have battled with it) so maybe it's more of an escapist thing with them?

WOW! This has been one of the most enlightening topics on this board, and I mean that with all sincerity. Thanks to Scorp-in-law for starting up the thread!! This helps me understand all the Scorps in my life, and it helps me along with others I'm sure to better understand what you Scorps go through. Keep up the good topics!! Personally, I think that although Scorps can be frustrating at times, you don't really love them if you don't take the time to understand them.

*Oops, I meant thanks to scorpio_wreck for starting the thread.*

so, if you don't call someone, don't look them up, that doesn't necessarily mean you don't want to see them again? It seems to me that scorps really like people to come to their territory, rather than them coming to other's.

"I think that although Scorps can be frustrating at times, you don't really love them if you don't take the time to understand them."

And this is what we have been trying to tell people.

Sensualscorpion

"I can tell almost right away when I meet someone if they will be one of those people I "let in". If they are, then I will give them enough feedback from me, so they don't feel neglected or shunned. If it is someone new I have met and I get the "feeling" that I don't really care to know them, then I just let them fade into the background".

I feel the same way, and I have come across people that tell me I am judging them. I don't think so it is just a vibe I feel.

I think most of my closet friends understand me pretty well.

"If it is someone new I have met and I get the "feeling" that I don't really care to know them, then I just let them fade into the background. I know it probably seems selfish of me, but I hate to explain myself to anyone. I don't know if it's laziness on my part or just the fact that I don't want them to know."

Sensualscopio,
I don't think this is selfish at all, it's actually very healthy, why should you open up to someone who you don't really care about? It probably saves you lots of grief.
This has been a very enlightening thread. Thank you all. I'm starting to understand... and I like it. 🙂

very entriguing

Thought this was a good topic, yet I have not found the answer.

I was recently accused of disappearing on this forum.

Why am I so distant?
I don't fit in. Not here, not anywhere.
Just passing through wheresoever I choose.
Constant pain like perpetual rain is like old news.
And I am getting very tired of it.

28 years old male from crabby''s pants ;D scorpio sun. leo moon. gemini rising. mercury: scorpio

wrote:

Posted by scorpio_wreck
[...] have trouble being consistent with people? [...]

square + rising?

"disappearing on this forum"
everybody disappears from dxp when real life calls.


"Why am I so distant?"
everybody hurts?

I had a Scorpio I was recently dating go ghost on me, but now I’m thinking he didn’t just go ghost on me but on everyone. He was the wrong one in my situation hands down as I’m sure you all know if you read my thread. Last time we spoke I sort of snapped on him(I didn’t curse or anything) but I definitely let him know what time it was because I felt he was playing with me and it pissed me off. I asked him how he’d feel or act if I did it to him and he didn’t say another word it’s been a week and he never said anything so neither did i.

I took his silence to mean he needs space, and ironically I see this thread and I’m like my assumption was correct. Plus prior to the whole situation with us he had a few rants and outburst about how everyone wants everything from him, but no one truly has his back or cares. Then he’d say things like everyone wants him to be this happy person all the time, when he’s not. He claim that girls prior to me would always say he’s closed off or won’t let anyone in. He feels no one understands. I never tried to force him to open up, I felt his warning about his attitude in the beginning were huge signs saying “I LET A PERSON IN WHEN READY, AND NOT A SECOND SOONER” , I’d listen to him calmly when he used to get like this, and try to offer kind word, or sometimes I’d shut my trap and just let him talk and lay on my chest until he fell asleep. I still got screwed over, lol. But at least I feel content with the way I handled things 😉

Posted by Lyse
I had a Scorpio I was recently dating go ghost on me, but now I’m thinking he didn’t just go ghost on me but on everyone. He was the wrong one in my situation hands down as I’m sure you all know if you read my thread. Last time we spoke I sort of snapped on him(I didn’t curse or anything) but I definitely let him know what time it was because I felt he was playing with me and it pissed me off. I asked him how he’d feel or act if I did it to him and he didn’t say another word it’s been a week and he never said anything so neither did i.

I took his silence to mean he needs space, and ironically I see this thread and I’m like my assumption was correct. Plus prior to the whole situation with us he had a few rants and outburst about how everyone wants everything from him, but no one truly has his back or cares. Then he’d say things like everyone wants him to be this happy person all the time, when he’s not. He claim that girls prior to me would always say he’s closed off or won’t let anyone in. He feels no one understands. I never tried to force him to open up, I felt his warning about his attitude in the beginning were huge signs saying “I LET A PERSON IN WHEN READY, AND NOT A SECOND SOONER” , I’d listen to him calmly when he used to get like this, and try to offer kind word, or sometimes I’d shut my trap and just let him talk and lay on my chest until he fell asleep. I still got screwed over, lol. But at least I feel content with the way I handled things 😉

Specifically:

"I had a Scorpio I was recently dating go ghost on me, but now I’m thinking he didn’t just go ghost on me but on everyone".
That's because it's not specifically you - you only repeated what others have also done. You joined their club, so to speak.

"Everyone wants everything from him, but no one truly has his back or cares."
That's what it feels like - All give, no receive.

"Then he’d say things like everyone wants him to be this happy person all the time, when he’s not"
Let's lie to ourselves and pretend to be happy to make others happy because they like being lied to.
If he isn't happy, it's something that he is struggling with, within. It's very hard to smile when you're miserable.

"He feels no one understands."
He's right. It's obvious that you, certainly don't.

Posted by DwellingOnMove
"disappearing on this forum"
everybody disappears from dxp when real life calls.


"Why am I so distant?"
everybody hurts?

My very beginnings.

Thanks for your insight, but apparently you didn’t see my thread on him.
He is not some innocent lost puppy that everyone requires everything from, at least not in my situation with him. I never asked him for anything, nor did I ever beg or plead, or even become pissed with him to share his every thought, need or want especially when I knew he was upset. All I did was let him know I was there when he was ready to talk. Scorpio or no scorpio, wrong is wrong and right is right.

Long story short; He got his ex-pregnant, prior to us dating and during us dating he waited to tell me she was with child and when he did he did it via text. I never once told him I didn’t want to be with him just because he did something before he even started dating me, I was waiting on him to tell me where him having a baby with another woman leaves us? If he wanted to be a family with her? If he wanted to co-parent and still date me? What? He never told me never said a word, he just started uploading pictures of the ultrasound and pictures of him and the mother saying how much he loves her, and loves her even more for carrying his child. When he did that I unfollowed him on social media. He got irritated or pissed or whatever and asked why I deleted him. I told him “ I can handle you having a baby on the way, BUT you are NOT about to dangle your baby mama/new girlfriend or whatever in my face. Period.” WHY would I want to sit and watch his happily ever after with his girl? WTF am I not allowed to feel anything just because he’s a “scorpio” and “poor him” nobody understands “him?” pahleez. I felt the minute he posted him and her with that lovely caption for the world to see he was basically telling me through “action” that he’s choosing to be with her and not me. That’s fine, as much as it hurts I wish them the best because there’s a innocent life hanging in the balance of things, BUT he’s not about to rub it up in my face. Anyone that’s honest with themselves, would not want to sit and watch that. Cant tell me different.

Seinfeld was great.

Damn, it's famous? Is it the same as cutting someone off? Or is it just wanting some space. I don't usually disappear. I just cut you completely off. Why waste my time.

Smh@ me. Sometimes it sucks being Scorp sun, merc, and Venus...

Posted by DwellingOnMove
Seinfeld was great.

Must be his Pisces moon.


😛

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by DwellingOnMove
Seinfeld was great.

Must be his Pisces moon.


😛

click to expand

agreed

Posted by FrostAndBite
She's so good at disappearing that she did it nine years ago and never came back to dxp. 😛

LMBO!!!!! ha ha ha ha

Yes, the Scorpio disappearing act IS famous. That's how I found astrology. Weird, because I was just thinking about this last night. I think God is divinely trying to send me a message that my current boyfriend is going to disappear on me or something. lol ha ha ha ha I'm looking at stelliums and it says that a 2nd house stellium in Scorp makes a person leave a good relationship for no reason other than this is their response to security. Then I come here to dxp and someone has resurrected a 9 year old thread on Scorpios disappearing, which is almost exactly verbatim what my ex told me 5 years ago about his need to "disappear". Seriously, exactly as the OP described...that's what he told me.

Posted by phoenix_rising

Wow, it has been a long time since a thread struck such a chord with me on a personal level. I feel exactly the same as the rest of you, people have told me the same exact things, and I agree that it can be a lonely place.



It's nice to know that none of us are really alone, though.

You’re choosing to spend time alone bc you need space. People give you space and they you say you’re lonely. Hmmmm no wonder some people don’t get along with scorps.