Why do guys cheat on pretty girls with an ugly one (Page 2)

Posted by AutumnalChick

Posted by Fire-Water


No excuse for to invade, but he isnt a victim by no stretch of the imagination. If you get caught slippin while messing around shame on you. I myself dont snoop but if you do and you find something its fair game in my opinion.

Mine too.

I really don't understand anyone who would suspect their partner is cheating (or doing anything shady behind their back) and just sit back and accept their lies because maintaining his "privacy" is so much more important than learning the truth. If I think my partner is doing something that could put my health or my life or my finances at risk, and I ask him about it and am not satisfied with his answer, you better believe I am going to look for evidence. Protect myself first, and not wind up like my cousin who sat there like a ninny buying her husband's lies that he wasn't cheating, and only found out the truth when he gave her a nice dose of genital herpes which she now has for life.

This the person you are swapping bodily fluids with, sharing finances with, the person who knows your most intimate secrets, and maybe have children with ... and you are not allowed to look at each other's texts? Really?

So you're gonna suspect your partner is cheating and lying to you about it ... and just sit there and *take* it? You are not going to try to find out the truth for yourself? Really?

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Exactly!!! +1

Posted by PurrrrHissss

Posted by AutumnalChick
Protect myself first, and not wind up like my cousin who sat there like a ninny buying her husband's lies that he wasn't cheating, and only found out the truth when he gave her a nice dose of genital herpes which she now has for life.

OMG, I would kill him.

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+ 100000000000000000000

Posted by Aviigail
Allienation- I'm not even taking your comments into consideration you would have to know us both. It hurts from both sides, she pretended to be my friend & care about me all the while going after my husband. Need I remind you we've been together for 10 yrs. married for 5 yrs. My brother and her were together for about 2... I never said she was ugly I just don't think I would be proud of my body if I looked like that.. Did you see her gut? That picture was taken 3 months after I had my son she was 9 months post pregnancy and she still has that same gut to this day 18 months post pregnancy. I remember I was ashamed of my body after I had my child. I would never send anyone pictures of my post-preg body if I still had all that weight on me. I lost A LOT of weight since that picture... The reason I'm so stuck on how she looks is because I would of thought a man cheats because the girl is more attractive than the girl he cheats on. They have nothing in common she's 19 very immature way more than you think I am!! He's just a perve I guess.

You look beautiful, don't allow some random chick from the Internet (without any pics of herself posted mind you) tell you, you look average.

Plus people usually look bigger sitting down.

Posted by PurrrrHissss
Uh, saying that the dude is a cheater because the OP isn't giving him something that he wants or needs is stupid. I don't care how arrogant she is. That has nothing to do with his cheating. Neither do her looks. Look at all the gorgeous celebrities who've been cheated on. It's the cheater's issue, not the partner's!

Very true.

Posted by aquaj
Also, my other question is, are you sure you were giving him enough sex? Because I don't care how gorgeous you are, if a person is not getting enough sex from what's at home, they are contemplating cheating on you. If he's ever had to nag you for sex, that was your red flag. Also, what Deezie said. The man has never hadthe chance to have sex with anyone else his whole life yet - you were together through all of high school and college! Shit was inevitable. People should not be getting married that young. Do you KNOW what the divorce rate is for people who get married before age 25? It brings up the whole average!

I don't buy that. Yea sex is important, but people could have other stuff going on. You should not cheat on your partner because of that.

Wow I had a lot of reading to do this morning... Where do I begin? Some mentioned him being older than me? Yes he is 6 yrs. Older than I am. She would be 10 yrs younger than he is.

The way I see it is. It's obvious to me she came on to him. No doubt about it, I saw it coming (from her) I just thought my husband would be smart enough to not go there. Now that everything has gone down, I am not going to let her ruin everything I've worked on for the last 10 yrs. It's hard, I'm hurt, I'm embarrassed, ashamed of my husband but I have my son to think about, he misses his daddy. I don't feel the need for revenge, life will take of her. She lost way more than I have. My husband still wants me, is willing to do whatever for me & my son, I know he feels stupid about the whole situation, if anything he has me up on a pedistol (we'll see for how long) she lost everything.. My brother, her self dignity, idk if I count but she lost me, my family, her family knows what she did. The only thing I would want to do is send her a picture of myself naked && show her what a sexy naked picture SHOULD look like lol (I'm going get shit for this comment!) BUT she might just use that picture against me so I won't do that! I honestly don't know what to tell her? I feel like my silence might do more damage than saying anything to her, that way she is left messing with her own head.. She has nothing to be proud of!!!

Some of these comments were very useful, thanks to the people who took into consideration that I am in pain. It hurts & I feel too ashamed to reach out to someone I know.

I do not doubt that you are hurting, and damn you should be ...you were betrayed by not one, but *two* people you trusted. It seems to me though that you are assigning more blame to the girl (and less to your husband) than is deserved.

Put it this way, the girl never made a vow to you, she doesn't co-parent a child with you, she doesn't live with you ...yeah she has acted like she's your friend, but when it comes down to it she doesn't owe you anything. It doesn't mean she isn't a bitch for stabbing you in the back, but she's not your spouse. If you found out she was trying to hook up with your man and he rejected her and told you about it, you would have dumped her as a friend ...but would you REALLY be all that upset over it? My guess is no.

Your husband, on the other hand, is obligated to be faithful to you and not trifle with bitches who flirt with him. He should have shut her down when she came onto him, but he didn't ... he went along with it. HE is the one who committed the much larger betrayal and breach of trust, he is the one who let a third party into the relationship. Put the blame where it belongs, on him. There are tons of women out there who want nothing more than to break up a marriage, but they are entirely powerless unless the husband lets it happen.

If I were you I wouldn't take him back unless he is willing to tell her, himself, that he regrets what he did and your marriage is too important to him to risk losing you, and he never wants to see or hear from her again. I would also let him know that he has forfeited his "right to privacy" for at least the immediate future and he had better be okay with you checking up on him to make sure he is staying honest, since he has proven that he can't be trusted.

Avii...

I totally agree with you..why do they go out for hamburger when they have steak at home?

I always wondered this too....

Arnold cheated with that ugly maid, but she apparently climbed in his bed and went after him.
Jesse James cheated with that tattoed whats her name woman..the Nazi.and look how attractive Sandra Bullock is...
Half those women Tiger was with were not all that attractive..sort of skanky looking..
John Edwards with the blonde...Raille or something like that...while his wife was overweight her face was lovely but the blonde was not all that great.

I don't think it's personality..put the shoe on the other foot...would you have a pic of an ugly, gross guy on your phone?? Or cheat with a guy not as hot as your husbandI wouldn't...

So yea I don't get it either.

Posted by aliennation
No. If I seriously suspected it, I'd leave them. I've done it before. Did they actually cheat? I don't know, but I didn't want to deal with drama, so I broke up with the "I don't think we're all that compatible" excuse rather than raising my concerns.

But I don't want marriage nor do I *ever* want children, and I'd probably prefer to not cohabitate with my partner, so that'll definitely help me avoid getting tied down in any way, and I can just walk away like it never happened.

I figure...if I can't even trust them to not cheat, then it's just not going to be a fulfilling relationship anyway.

Okay, but your situation is extremely different than the OP's. She is married, she has a kid with him, and she does share bodily fluids, finances, a home and vehicles, and personal information with him. You said in your original post you thought her husband should have filed for divorce because of what she did, and said it was an intrusive invasion of privacy.

My point is that if you are married to and have a kid with someone, your right to ensure that they are not doing something behind your back that could literally ruin your life trumps that person's privacy every time. If you haven't read my post about my cousin catching genital herpes from her cheating husband, know that is why I say what I say and I will never ever feel bad about looking out for my own welfare. If that includes reading someone's texts, than so be it.

Obsessively checking your partner's phone for no reason is very different than having a suspicion that you are being lied to, and checking to see if it's true.

Posted by ellessque

Posted by tryandguess
Plus people usually look bigger sitting down.

ROFLMAO!

that was so random. you got a real laugh out loud on that one 😛

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Well, this is a contextually important fact.

Posted by tryandguess

Posted by ellessque

Posted by tryandguess
Plus people usually look bigger sitting down.

ROFLMAO!

that was so random. you got a real laugh out loud on that one 😛

Well, this is a contextually important fact.

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another laugh out loud ....🙂

Posted by aliennation

Posted by tryandguess

Posted by Aviigail
Allienation- I'm not even taking your comments into consideration you would have to know us both. It hurts from both sides, she pretended to be my friend & care about me all the while going after my husband. Need I remind you we've been together for 10 yrs. married for 5 yrs. My brother and her were together for about 2... I never said she was ugly I just don't think I would be proud of my body if I looked like that.. Did you see her gut? That picture was taken 3 months after I had my son she was 9 months post pregnancy and she still has that same gut to this day 18 months post pregnancy. I remember I was ashamed of my body after I had my child. I would never send anyone pictures of my post-preg body if I still had all that weight on me. I lost A LOT of weight since that picture... The reason I'm so stuck on how she looks is because I would of thought a man cheats because the girl is more attractive than the girl he cheats on. They have nothing in common she's 19 very immature way more than you think I am!! He's just a perve I guess.

You look beautiful, don't allow some random chick from the Internet (without any pics of herself posted mind you) tell you, you look average.

I'm sure she's beautiful to some people, as it's partially subjective - but she was not only boasting about her looks like it was an undeniable fact, she was completely disparaging another person's looks. How are self-conscious people supposed to feel if they read that? Hell, I was almost insulted, as I'm tall, and she was implying tall people were ugly. =/

If she can dish out "honesty", she should be able to take it.

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Who cares!!!!!!! Seriously!!! As a model people will tell you to fix your nose, fix that who caresses!!!!!!!

Posted by ellybd
If I was married and my husband was cheating I'd hire a PI to tail that bitch.

Than if he was caught I have a master plan. I'd go and consult all the best, good, okay and mediocre laywers in town on my divorce. If you have a consultation, then it becomes a conflict of interest for the other party. Than out of all the lawyers I'll pick the most viscous bastard I can find. Then I will write the papers up and have him professionally served, with the photos of him cheating in with the papers. And inside of the envelope there will be a sticky note on the papers with a penny taped to it saying "By the time I'm done with you, this is all you'll have left. 🙂"

Plan stolen via my Pisces Sister. She is such a mastermind. Lol.

Hahahaha! I've been told that it's Pisces, not Scorpio, that you should never screw over because they will exact revenge like a mofo.
Reading this I gotta say I'm beginning to believe that .....

Elle....Oh you took my post the wrong way....yes the cancer issue is true too...but we are trying to make a point about a looks thing here...so I didn't mention that he cheated on his wife who had cancer and so did Gingrich.

Some of you posters are taking this way too seriously...Avii is just wondering why men/her husband seem to do this....she does not think she is superior or whatever else you all think..or shallow...

Usually it is "looks" that FIRST attracts a man or woman to another..so she is wondering (at least I think she is) what could he be "attracted" to here with this pic?

And not to single men out...but they do have a rep for being shallow about a womans looks and bodies..not all of them but the majority. Sorry to say, but it's true....they are "visual"

Posted by sunshine222


Avii is just wondering why men/her husband seem to do this.... *she does not think she is superior or whatever else you all think..or shallow...*

Usually it is "looks" that FIRST attracts a man or woman to another..so she is wondering (at least I think she is) what could he be "attracted" to here with this pic?

And not to single men out...but they do have a rep for being shallow about a womans looks and bodies..not all of them but the majority. Sorry to say, but it's true....they are "visual"

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

Posted by ellessque

Posted by sunshine222
Avii...

I totally agree with you..why do they go out for hamburger when they have steak at home?

I always wondered this too....

Arnold cheated with that ugly maid, but she apparently climbed in his bed and went after him.
Jesse James cheated with that tattoed whats her name woman..the Nazi.and look how attractive Sandra Bullock is...
Half those women Tiger was with were not all that attractive..sort of skanky looking..
John Edwards with the blonde...Raille or something like that...while his wife was overweight her face was lovely but the blonde was not all that great.

I don't think it's personality..put the shoe on the other foot...would you have a pic of an ugly, gross guy on your phone?? Or cheat with a guy not as hot as your husbandI wouldn't...

So yea I don't get it either.

is everyone really this shallow—??!!!!!

John Edward's wife HAD CANCER. FFS. SMGDH.

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sometimes you have a taste for a hamburger, i guess you ladys never eat hamburgers

Posted by bluemoon9043834

Posted by Reconstructing_a_Leo
@Bluemoon: you shouldn't feel attacked, that was a quote describing an archetype, not your own behavior. Incidentally it's not a sung sign description, it's from mr. Green's Pluto School.
I do find it is different for Aries males and females and here's how. Aries females will apply that Mars energy to other pursuits such as raising more than one kid, being socially successful, pursuing other projects, however for males part of their validation IS to conquer and prove thenselves sexually. If that hasn't happen sufficiently or in due time, such as the case with the op, where the guy has been with the same women while being too young and inexperienced, well, the answer is easy to find.

What I wanted to emphasize is thar you cannot have the same monogamous expectations from an Aries (guy) or a Gemini as you have with other signs.

Which archetype? So it's not a sun sign description but it's from mr. Green's Pluto School? What type of astrology is that?

I feel that people base their descriptions on sun signs, especially with Aries, on superficial or surface observations of social behaviors/outer behaviors.

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You are certainly entitled to your own opinion.
The archetype's description focuses on its dynamics regardless as to where it touches the personal chart.
I may be going too abstract for this thread, and not for my own good 🙂
Sorry if you felt offended

Posted by Fire-Water

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by Fire-Water
Did he have sex with her or was it just the pictures and texting?

just pics and sexting.

At least he didnt have sex with her, what went on isnt great but he didnt take it to the next level. He might have been amusing himself with her. He had a moment of weakness and deserves a second chance in my opinion. As for me looks do matter but it doesnt when im looking to play around.

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I agree and looks do matter but that doesn't mean be shallow.

The simple fact of the matter is that not everyone has the same taste.
And while the OP may think this girl is utterly disgusting in comparison to her, POSSIBLY the girl isn't that repulsive to the OP's husband.

Supposed "societal norm" for beauty isn't always valid.

It doesn't matter WHY it happened. It matters how you choose to deal with what happened. If you bashed your head into a wall for an hour into a bloody pulped up mess - upon arrival to the emergency room I'm pretty sure the main concern of the medical staff isn't going to be "why were you doing that?"

Yes it sort of matters to HIM why it happened - but that's his issue. Your issue (because I'm getting the feeling you don't feel you have done anything to deserve betrayal - which is fine) is to figure out whether or not it is acceptable to you (i.e. is there any reason he can give that is acceptable to you?), and then work on your marriage from there, or move on from your marriage from there.

Posted by Fire-Water

Posted by ellessque

Posted by sunshine222
Avii...

I totally agree with you..why do they go out for hamburger when they have steak at home?

I always wondered this too....

Arnold cheated with that ugly maid, but she apparently climbed in his bed and went after him.
Jesse James cheated with that tattoed whats her name woman..the Nazi.and look how attractive Sandra Bullock is...
Half those women Tiger was with were not all that attractive..sort of skanky looking..
John Edwards with the blonde...Raille or something like that...while his wife was overweight her face was lovely but the blonde was not all that great.

I don't think it's personality..put the shoe on the other foot...would you have a pic of an ugly, gross guy on your phone?? Or cheat with a guy not as hot as your husbandI wouldn't...

So yea I don't get it either.

is everyone really this shallow—??!!!!!

John Edward's wife HAD CANCER. FFS. SMGDH.

sometimes you have a taste for a hamburger, i guess you ladys never eat hamburgers

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If that's you in the pic...you're definitely Fillet and I wouldn't be needing wanting or even looking at hamburger again!! 😛

Posted by Aviigail

... I like to think of myself as a good looking scorp. I'm tiny, thin, I don't have an ugly face.

... she's fat!! With stretch marks all over her belly, and taller than a treetrucking tree

... My question is why would he go there if he has me?

Answer: because you are superficial, and most people want a relationship built on depth

Interesting, an article that discusses exactly this topic:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samara-oshea/the-myth-of-the-attractiv_b_1178996.html

It's the venus in aquarius jk

Why do you think he's cheating issue has anything to do with you?

Maybe he cheated on you because you're an arrogant, conceited gal. Newsflash: nobody likes people who are vain, and your OP justifies the fact that you think you're all that. Secondly, cheating has nothing to do with looks. Tiger woods can explain that to you. Thirdly, it was probably some void in your relationship or himself that led him to cheat. Fourthly, why the hell are you pointing fingers at her by attacking her physical appearance, when you should be attacking/concerned with your man? She's not obligated to you, your man is!!! Get a brain! Maybe the lack of it made him cheat on you :o just a thought.

The heart has no eyes........Plus, Beauty is very diverse....one man's trash, is another's treasure

BTW, that lady was her brother's Child's Mother (brother's baby mama)...................she loves to keep it in the family, smh ......I bet she always had DADDY issues and loves it when others throw her a pitty party. deep-down inside she really feels empty

Wow ppl have a real problem with someones self confidence.. I bet the people getting offended are most likely fat!! Lmao!! Either way I got what I wanted out this so I'm done. Bye Bitches!

^^Klassy^^

I cant imagine why he cheated on you ::rollseyes::

@Let*It*Be: I don't think you can tell that much about a person's emotional state of mind over the internet. People have been arrogant enough to point out to me how I felt sometimes, something they were dead wrong about. So how people express themselves in here and how they actually feel are not always the same thing.

....and FYI Aviigail I wasn't trying to be mean or light-hearted about it, I was just trying to give you serious answers from my personal point of view. But I guess you just label the things you don't wanna hear as "not serious".

Posted by aliennation

lol, I see what you're saying, but I don't cheat. Sometimes I'll text back and forth with my guy friends, and they can get a little flirtatious (I'm a GEM moon 😛)

Hm, guy friends and Gem moon is just not a combination that inspires a lot of confidence in me.... 😉

Posted by Aviigail
Wow ppl have a real problem with someones self confidence.. I bet the people getting offended are most likely fat!! Lmao!! Either way I got what I wanted out this so I'm done. Bye Bitches!

A person who is self confident (like me, for example) .. doesn't care what others think or are doing/saying .. they believe in themselves, have faith in their convictions and abilities.

You don't believe in yourself .. in fact, you've started a thread to cry about how you are obviously not good enough to keep your man looking only at you.

That is the opposite of being confident .... you present yourself as self-doubting.

Nobody was offended, except you .... that seems to be a pattern for you, and is a symptom of insecurity.



To present yourself as unsure of your attributes, while proclaiming to be superior is pretentious and pompous.


Sounds to me like you are jealous of the fat girl ..... and that is a hoot since you also value people according to how they look.

Posted by Aviigail

Either way I got what I wanted out this ...

What does that mean?


Are you making the suggestion that this thread was in place to fuck with people, and to get people riled up?

Pulling a FireGem

Posted by P-AngelA person who is self confident (like me, for example) .. doesn't care what others think or are doing/saying .. they believe in themselves, have faith in their convictions and abilities.

I don't know, I think that sounds arrogant too. Once you stop listening to others, you stop learning. Faith, convictions and abilities are relative.

Posted by Aviigail
Wow ppl have a real problem with someones self confidence.. I bet the people getting offended are most likely fat!! Lmao!! Either way I got what I wanted out this so I'm done. Bye Bitches!

Yup, I find your attitude and cattiness offensive. Therefore I must be fat. Plus, I'm OLD. However, my man doesn't cheat on my fat old ass, not even with my friends.

So what's the difference between you and I? Well, let's see... "Inappropriate texting" was enough to make me pack his bags and put him out. And it took him SEVEN MONTHS of busting his ASS above and beyond what he'd EVER done, just to convince me to give him another chance.. not a few days. I've shown I will not tolerate poor treatment, and he consistently meets/exceeds my high standards.. cuz the only other option is losing me, because I love me too much to give a man permission to mistreat me.

But he looks.. you betcha he looks. Like a stupid, horny boy.. he looks. And him looking at other women does not and could not ever shake the REAL confidence I have in myself, nor make me feel like I am in some sort of competition with other women. I'm already the winner, already the queen, already his heart. And I don't have to insult others to make myself feel better, I'm not a bitch. I'm not a doormat with a false front of cockiness, wondering where my relationship went wrong, and blaming/tearing another woman down because of it, and giving my man a free pass to treat me any way he chooses. So there's another difference or two.


Your marriage is dying.. and you're helping shovel dirt over the coffin. You're just killing time until your divorce now, mark my words.

Posted by Nefer

My man doesn't cheat on my fat old ass, not even with my friends.

So what's the difference between you and I?

I'm already the winner, already the queen ... And I don't have to insult others to make myself feel better, I'm not a bitch. I'm not a doormat with a false front of cockiness, wondering where my relationship went wrong, and blaming/tearing another woman down because of it, and giving my man a free pass to treat me any way he chooses. So there's another difference or two.

Your marriage is dying.. and you're helping shovel dirt over the coffin. You're just killing time until your divorce now, mark my words.

BOOM.

And... Scene.