New Taurus man-- complications, disappearing

Hello,

I've been very upset the last three days, which is not normal for me (I'm a bit of a chilly Libra... I don't fall easily for men...) but now I'm even crying sometimes! I guess I wanted to get my experience out there and get anyone's opinion on it... whether there is a chance or not... whether my Taurus cares or not...

Met a Taurus man four weeks ago on Tinder. We talked almost every other day through messages, sometimes me initiating and sometimes him. Went out for three dates, once a week (he works hard during the week). We talked about everything. We both have so many interests and we're curious about everything it seems. Conversation could last four hours or more. He never seemed to want to leave me.

Second date, we kissed. It was so different and wonderful for me. He was gentle but magnetic, and his hand was always in my hair or touching my face. He joked the second date about not having a girlfriend. "You can be my girlfriend.." he said, and then bite his tongue as if he was shy. He's gentlemanly and his touches are never aggressive, even when he's trying to sneak a little further.. he wanted to come to my place pretty badly but I told him I wasn't ready.

Complications come from me being pregnant from my ex-boyfriend. I told him I will take the baby to term, but having kids of my own (who I support) from my ex-husband, I've chosen to give this baby for adoption (forgive me, it sounds bad... all of this sounds much worse when I write it...)

I told him about the pregnancy at his house on the third date. He had shared funny videos with me and lots of great music. We kissed and cuddled and he smelled my hair and did all these cute things. He told me that he "likes me a lot"... I thought I could feel that because we can talk and kiss so well. When I told him about the pregnancy, he didn't react much... just listened to me...he didn't even ask many questions. Made a funny comment about how my boobs will get bigger! (Is that a sign that I was always a casual thing for him-- because he wasn't curious?) I also told him that because of this, I was looking for something more casual for a relationship. (I guess I don't feel like I deserve anything more right now in my situation.... it's bad but I'm too logical...)

Afterwards, even though he was visibly tired, he insisted on sitting up and talking for another two hours. I lay on his chest, he treated me passionately but gently. He said, "Let's go to bed". I wasn't ready, I wasn't even ready to simply sleep next to the guy. I feel like after the pregnancy news, I would want to be sure if he still actually cared before I did something like that. He coaxed me with jokes... he only had "one blanket"... that he would sleep on the couch with me... He did pull the other part of the couch out and lay his head on my chest as he spread out and we talked more. Something got into me and I said, "I will always remember the way you smell.." and he responds, "You said that as if we wont see each other again." My defensive side coming out I guess. Finally, after much delay, he went to his own room, said I was making a "big mistake" (but gently... oh so gently...) He tossed and turned in his bedroom. When he heard me turn on the couch he called to me, "Are you warm enough?" etc. Called twice to check on me.

The next morning when we woke, he mentioned how he would drop me home but then he delayed it for an hour and a half just talking again. At one point he toppled me over on the couch and opened my legs and just kissed me as he pushed up against me... again his hand was in my hair, he was cradling me, it was such a new feeling to me in the arms of a man who really held me like a precious sort of thing. I broke away from his mesmerizing clutch and we managed to finally leave the house. Outside, he said, "I didn't get a picture of us together" (he had taken a few on our second date but for some reason wanted another). We took a picture and he said, earnestly, "You are so beautiful." I laughed and he said "I mean it." In the car he shared something with me that he said that he had never shared with anyone. It was about his future plans if he couldn't succeed in his current work. And before he left me at my house, I kissed him gently on the cheek and he said, as a joke, "Don't go."

Then I didn't hear from him. I sent him a message the next day asking about his sickness (he had been starting to get a cold when I left him) and whether he slept well. He answered very friendly and also asked about me. Then the next day, my screen broke on my phone. Not able to access my Whatsapp but have been listening to the alert tones... nothing from him. And if there was something from him and I never saw it, I would think he would notice that and call me if he cared?

I know my situation with the pregnancy is crazy and a bit hard for any man to come to terms with but we had such a strong connection. Of course, I'm biased, but I'm not used to getting along so well with any man and also the physical aspects were perfect. He was like a light in my world-- he listened to me and treated me like a lady-- and his eyes are always so happy. I fell in puppy love with him after such a short time. My feelings were so pure about him that I was already trying to clear my life of all the men who were hanging around... he was making me get a commitment bug that I have never actually felt before. I was thinking that being with him was enough.

Also, today it was the 3rd day I didn't hear from him. He posted something romantic on his Instagram for Women's Day... I just quietly removed him from my followers and following lists so I wouldn't have to see his handsome face and posts. Already doing damage control, although it doesn't seem to make me feel better. I hate thinking so defensively like this even when I want him in my life but I've always been terrible at sharing my emotions with the object of them.

Opinions? Advice? Should I ever try to contact him... should I wait... or move on?

Thank you so much

I understand where you are coming from, when you open up about a complicated situation that you, yourself can't even see someone pushing past it seems like the end of the world.

You can't shit down though I know that's hard for libras anyway it seems like we get close to someone and then push them away out of fear of being hurt or not being ready. I think if you have already forgiven him for taking time out to really weigh things out, that you should try contacting him, sometimes they aren't as bad as they seem.

I know the feeling of thinking you have something solid and it falls apart, I think he is really into you, just not wanting to open up about his own emotions yet. He is probably trying to figure out things by himself just like you when right now you need to communicate, just let him know you are there to reassure him of your position about the pregnancy and you hope that it doesn't effect your friendship/relationship on his end because you refuse to let it effect it on your end.

My advice would just be to wait. Give him the benefit of the doubt. He's been unwell and things move slowly with bulls!

He is likely to be considering your pregnancy and what that means.

I would suggest and I know it's hard, not to let your emotions carry you away. It's only been a month.

You were fine not knowing him a month ago. If he was to disappear now, you will still be fine.

Let things develop organically and don't let the fantasy of what could be the driver your happiness.

Op seriously, I really do apologize but I would never mess with a pregnant woman carrying another man's baby. Not when it's just easier to back out. Most guys will leave a woman carrying his own child. You are hoping the power of the connection will override every logical rational sense in a man's body and we are not emotional. We stick with the facts and we make decisions based on logic - knowing the bad feelings will pass. I am quite concerned about your degree of fantasy; he would ruin his young life over a chick he barely knows who he met online who is pregnant with another dude's baby. OP come on; he may continue to be your friend, but if you already gave him the goods, I really don't see how he would come out on top.

Totally true. I agree with what you said. The Taurus is a really practical guy. Smart. A real catch actually. I didn't have sex with him and I'm sure it was for the best. It's just my bad luck to meet him now. Sigh.

In the meanwhile, I overheard the father of my baby having sex with some lady last night (he owns an apartment near me). The man got me pregnant on purpose and without my permission because he "loved" me and wanted to marry me and have a baby. I blocked him not long after I found out I was pregnant because I didn't want to continue a relationship with him, but now he's pulling stunts like this (he actually lives at another apartment most of the time... just came here with a woman to torture me I guess.) Life is messy. A bit painful, too.

Posted by hardtolovelibra
Totally true. I agree with what you said. The Taurus is a really practical guy. Smart. A real catch actually. I didn't have sex with him and I'm sure it was for the best. It's just my bad luck to meet him now. Sigh.

In the meanwhile, I overheard the father of my baby having sex with some lady last night (he owns an apartment near me). The man got me pregnant on purpose and without my permission because he "loved" me and wanted to marry me and have a baby. I blocked him not long after I found out I was pregnant because I didn't want to continue a relationship with him, but now he's pulling stunts like this (he actually lives at another apartment most of the time... just came here with a woman to torture me I guess.) Life is messy. A bit painful, too.

He got you pregnant on purpose and without your permission?

Now I know for definite that you are 100% delusional.

"..gentle but magnetic, and his hand was always in my hair or touching my face..." They're all the same jfc.

Stay VERY woke is all I'm going to say. Keep yourself from falling for him until he assures you.

Edit: lol I went through the puppy love and the crying (I'm a very cold person myself) and the clearing all other men/commitment bug too, and dealing with them going distant all within a similar short time frame. It's not worth it. He just wants to sleep with you tbh. Do not expect more.

When my boyfriend is supposed to be a using a condom but he sabotages it without my knowledge or consent, is that delusional? There is a reason I'm not with him anymore. But either way, I'm left with the result. And I'll just have to hang tight, alone, until my pregnancy is finished.

Posted by SassyKiwi
"..gentle but magnetic, and his hand was always in my hair or touching my face..." They're all the same jfc.

Stay VERY woke is all I'm going to say. Keep yourself from falling for him until he assures you.

Edit: lol I went through the puppy love and the crying (I'm a very cold person myself) and the clearing all other men/commitment bug too, and dealing with them going distant all within a similar short time frame. It's not worth it. He just wants to sleep with you tbh. Do not expect more.

It's interesting that it can feel so real... he probably did just want to sleep with me. Logically, it makes sense. But it makes me wonder what would be worth it if a man like that isn't. I'm more scared of over-protecting myself than under-protecting anyway. Much more likely to put iron defences up even if I shouldn't.

What happened with the men you mention? They were persuasive? This guy was never very aggressive, especially compared to his peers (I live in a country where the men are very aggressive and masculine). And did they go cold after sex or did you notice it before?

Posted by hardtolovelibra

Posted by SassyKiwi
"..gentle but magnetic, and his hand was always in my hair or touching my face..." They're all the same jfc.

Stay VERY woke is all I'm going to say. Keep yourself from falling for him until he assures you.

Edit: lol I went through the puppy love and the crying (I'm a very cold person myself) and the clearing all other men/commitment bug too, and dealing with them going distant all within a similar short time frame. It's not worth it. He just wants to sleep with you tbh. Do not expect more.

It's interesting that it can feel so real... he probably did just want to sleep with me. Logically, it makes sense. But it makes me wonder what would be worth it if a man like that isn't. I'm more scared of over-protecting myself than under-protecting anyway. Much more likely to put iron defences up even if I shouldn't.

What happened with the men you mention? They were persuasive? This guy was never very aggressive, especially compared to his peers (I live in a country where the men are very aggressive and masculine). And did they go cold after sex or did you notice it before?

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Yeah he made it feel very real. The way he was so gentle, showing concern and attention you just wouldn't think otherwise. He wasn't aggressive at all but he did go completely cold after I wouldn't sleep with him... I went in unaware he was into casual which I don't do. To him there isn't a relationship without sex. And it had only been weeks so that's crazy. I ended up catching the feels regardless so I'm still trying to get over him and it really sucks. I don't think your guy is looking for anything serious either, just keep that in mind. Or just be straight up and talk to him in where he is in life... like if he's looking to settle yet or just still have fun. I keep being told Taurus take time so I guess you should make sure you have all the patience in the world for him if you want him. And let him do the leading and initiating. That'll tell you how he sees you.

Hard for me to stay single Baptist, its the libra in me, but I should try it for a little while maybe. I know there are men who are okay with pregnant women. But f they weren't, I'd never be offended...

I have a man I've known for a while. He's an Aquarius. Well-built, relaxed guy but not sure what his IQ is. Though I think he's that hair-petting type. Wouldn't be so bad for fwb. Can't get involved with these perfect, serious Taurus men for a while. They "don't do pregnant" we can say.

Sassy I really want to know more about this man. Cold as in, he didn't write you at all? As in MIA? How many weeks has it been since he backed off? And did you ever talk to him about what he expected from you, or whether he wanted a real relationship or not?

Posted by Shadowcat

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by hardtolovelibra

Posted by SassyKiwi
"..gentle but magnetic, and his hand was always in my hair or touching my face..." They're all the same jfc.

Stay VERY woke is all I'm going to say. Keep yourself from falling for him until he assures you.

Edit: lol I went through the puppy love and the crying (I'm a very cold person myself) and the clearing all other men/commitment bug too, and dealing with them going distant all within a similar short time frame. It's not worth it. He just wants to sleep with you tbh. Do not expect more.

It's interesting that it can feel so real... he probably did just want to sleep with me. Logically, it makes sense. But it makes me wonder what would be worth it if a man like that isn't. I'm more scared of over-protecting myself than under-protecting anyway. Much more likely to put iron defences up even if I shouldn't.

What happened with the men you mention? They were persuasive? This guy was never very aggressive, especially compared to his peers (I live in a country where the men are very aggressive and masculine). And did they go cold after sex or did you notice it before?

Yeah he made it feel very real. The way he was so gentle, showing concern and attention you just wouldn't think otherwise. He wasn't aggressive at all but he did go completely cold after I wouldn't sleep with him... I went in unaware he was into casual which I don't do. To him there isn't a relationship without sex. And it had only been weeks so that's crazy. I ended up catching the feels regardless so I'm still trying to get over him and it really sucks. I don't think your guy is looking for anything serious either, just keep that in mind. Or just be straight up and talk to him in where he is in life... like if he's looking to settle yet or just still have fun. I keep being told Taurus take time so I guess you should make sure you have all the patience in the world for him if you want him. And let him do the leading and initiating. That'll tell you how he sees you.

I'm sorry 😢

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I would just do anything to not feel and yearn for him. I need to like be tranquilized omg

Posted by hardtolovelibra
Sassy I really want to know more about this man. Cold as in, he didn't write you at all? As in MIA? How many weeks has it been since he backed off? And did you ever talk to him about what he expected from you, or whether he wanted a real relationship or not?

We have class together so he can't really avoid me altogether yet. He does reply when I initiate a text or ask to meet up. But stopped initiating himself after that rejection except to study for an exam. I think guys in college are emotionally retarded so LOL not much you can expect. I'm just mostly mad at my heart for falling hard for him when me and my head have long been over him. It's turned me psychotic. I recently tried cutting things off with him for good for my own well being but him hugging me and trying to kiss my cheek (my lips slipped on his) DOES NOT help. He's well aware of how I feel about him... so the ball's in his court while I try to move on

Posted by Shadowcat

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by Shadowcat

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by hardtolovelibra

Posted by SassyKiwi
"..gentle but magnetic, and his hand was always in my hair or touching my face..." They're all the same jfc.

Stay VERY woke is all I'm going to say. Keep yourself from falling for him until he assures you.

Edit: lol I went through the puppy love and the crying (I'm a very cold person myself) and the clearing all other men/commitment bug too, and dealing with them going distant all within a similar short time frame. It's not worth it. He just wants to sleep with you tbh. Do not expect more.

It's interesting that it can feel so real... he probably did just want to sleep with me. Logically, it makes sense. But it makes me wonder what would be worth it if a man like that isn't. I'm more scared of over-protecting myself than under-protecting anyway. Much more likely to put iron defences up even if I shouldn't.

What happened with the men you mention? They were persuasive? This guy was never very aggressive, especially compared to his peers (I live in a country where the men are very aggressive and masculine). And did they go cold after sex or did you notice it before?

Yeah he made it feel very real. The way he was so gentle, showing concern and attention you just wouldn't think otherwise. He wasn't aggressive at all but he did go completely cold after I wouldn't sleep with him... I went in unaware he was into casual which I don't do. To him there isn't a relationship without sex. And it had only been weeks so that's crazy. I ended up catching the feels regardless so I'm still trying to get over him and it really sucks. I don't think your guy is looking for anything serious either, just keep that in mind. Or just be straight up and talk to him in where he is in life... like if he's looking to settle yet or just still have fun. I keep being told Taurus take time so I guess you should make sure you have all the patience in the world for him if you want him. And let him do the leading and initiating. That'll tell you how he sees you.

I'm sorry 😢

I would just do anything to not feel and yearn for him. I need to like be tranquilized omg

Just remind yourself that he can be easily replaced.

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I WISH. I could have the most perfect guy in front of me and not be fazed. I don't fall very easily or often but when I do... It's for years.

Posted by Shadowcat

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by Shadowcat

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by Shadowcat

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by hardtolovelibra

Posted by SassyKiwi
"..gentle but magnetic, and his hand was always in my hair or touching my face..." They're all the same jfc.

Stay VERY woke is all I'm going to say. Keep yourself from falling for him until he assures you.

Edit: lol I went through the puppy love and the crying (I'm a very cold person myself) and the clearing all other men/commitment bug too, and dealing with them going distant all within a similar short time frame. It's not worth it. He just wants to sleep with you tbh. Do not expect more.

It's interesting that it can feel so real... he probably did just want to sleep with me. Logically, it makes sense. But it makes me wonder what would be worth it if a man like that isn't. I'm more scared of over-protecting myself than under-protecting anyway. Much more likely to put iron defences up even if I shouldn't.

What happened with the men you mention? They were persuasive? This guy was never very aggressive, especially compared to his peers (I live in a country where the men are very aggressive and masculine). And did they go cold after sex or did you notice it before?

Yeah he made it feel very real. The way he was so gentle, showing concern and attention you just wouldn't think otherwise. He wasn't aggressive at all but he did go completely cold after I wouldn't sleep with him... I went in unaware he was into casual which I don't do. To him there isn't a relationship without sex. And it had only been weeks so that's crazy. I ended up catching the feels regardless so I'm still trying to get over him and it really sucks. I don't think your guy is looking for anything serious either, just keep that in mind. Or just be straight up and talk to him in where he is in life... like if he's looking to settle yet or just still have fun. I keep being told Taurus take time so I guess you should make sure you have all the patience in the world for him if you want him. And let him do the leading and initiating. That'll tell you how he sees you.

I'm sorry 😢

I would just do anything to not feel and yearn for him. I need to like be tranquilized omg

Just remind yourself that he can be easily replaced.

I WISH. I could have the most perfect guy in front of me and not be fazed. I don't fall very easily or often but when I do... It's for years.

Is your venus in a fixed sign?

What about him is appealing?

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I'm blaming the pluto transit conjuncting my venus. Rest of my personal planets are all fixed signs.

Very good question. My friend made me make a pros and cons list on him LOL. She won the argument and he did in fact end up having more cons than pros.

There is nothing appealing about him. Since we're both future law school students currently studying finance with marketing as a minor, that rarity brought us together. I admire his ridiculous willpower and motivation (I've once insinuated him taking adderall LOL). He's coc.ky as hell but it makes me smile. His presence drives me crazy, I just love his energy. And his affections, I got addicted to that real quick. I crave them. He's a health nut and freak which is always appreciated. I never put people on pedestals so I've just been completely appalled at my ability to do that to him. Every time I'm with him, the rest of the world is zoned out... I don't remember anything but him.

Ok, Baptist, I do have better things than to worry about a man. Why do you think I'm on here trying to work out my feelings for him? Because I wanted to waste my time crying for another month? Noooo... if it can't be, then I don't want the negative energy I have about it to influence my life.

You call me desperate, I guess this is your interpretation of me wanting someone in my life during this time. I live alone in a foreign country, my ex husband is back in America, I work and provide for the kids by myself, I have no family here at all except my kids who are just babies basically and my ex-inlaws who I don't have a relationship with. My ex boyfriend said he was there for me but never was when I needed him. So you can say that I know what I need to do in my life, with or without a man, even if I rather have someone in my life to tell me it is going to be okay and be there for me. If I was so desperate, I'd be bothering the Taurus, I think.



Sassy, it's too bad he's in your class! That's the pits. He's on a pedestal.. hard to fight it. But remember one thing.. his ambition isn't everything. Some men really do put that above all else and once you are in a relationship with them, they are hardly even there. My ex boyfriend (baby daddy lol) was just like that. Played soccer professionally when he was younger, so much energy, and has his own business that gets bigger every year, works like a madman. The sex life was good except he wasn't an affectionate guy but we had a spark I think. But after almost a year of this, I kept on getting annoyed because everything that I thought I had been attracted to was actually the things that kept him from being active in my life! See him one day a week, maybe once in two weeks. He messaged me every day but of course it wasn't to chit chat, he had better things to do. Then he says that he loves me--- can't get over me--- I don't feel it! But for his life, our love fit in sooo nicely. For my life, its like he wasn't even there. Watch out for these men. They are admirable and attractive and they make money but in the end its definitely not worth it.

And I must of missed how this guy "rejected" you... did you write about it earlier? You two actually talked about it all? And I don't fall until all of the puzzle pieces click together either... gets even worse as you get older... and that's why its so hard to get these men out of our lives. They are our new standards :/

So I want to add why I think its so important that you two actually used "words" when talking about how your relationship won't work... you say he went cold on you after you wouldn't sleep with him but that really doesn't say too much except that he's trying to play a game that may or may not end with you being in a real relationship with him...

Like, for instance, some men want only sex, but until they say it its hard to know for sure. Yes, he went cold after you wouldn't, but it could mean that he only wants sex and he's manipulating you OR he's manipulating you for sex but he still sees you as relationship material... and the way he kisses you means that he's 100 percent manipulating. He hasn't gone "cold" at all. Power struggle...

I mean, either way, he's still manipulating which is not great and it is your choice if you could be with a man like that. But unless he outright told you that he wasn't looking for a girlfriend then I wouldn't be so sure.

Update... Taurus guy messaged me on Friday. Just saw it because my phone is fixed now. I assume he never saw my facebook message but who knows... I didn't mention it either.

So it was just a simple "Hi" on Friday.. today I messaged hello back and he asked how I am. I explained that my phone had been broken. He says "we couldn't talk for a while. How is your pregnancy going?" No kidding we didn't talk for a while! The way he said "couldn't" makes that statement strange... But I just said "Yes that's true, its the same." Then he says, "I see. You are okay right? Everything going okay on your side?" I say, "It must be." He tells me that his guy friend from his hometown will stay with him this week. I say I'm glad he'll have company, and he asks "What about you?" and I just tell him I'm at home reading.

Ah he's just so nice. I don't care if he doesn't dig me or can't deal with my pregnancy. It relaxes me to see that he didn't just forget me/ignore me and that he's concerned about me. I hope it is becoming clear to him that I'm not trying to strap him into a life with all of my problems. Being friends with me isn't a liability, it's just a simple thing. Just for a little sunshine.

When he didn't message me, I felt like I was leaving a soldier on the battlefield who I didn't want to leave...... but now I can move on because he's just trailin' along behind me somewhere. Very slowly but still in eyesight. Lol

http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/is-it-possible-to-date-while-pregnant/

Not exactly the same situation as OP but close enough. The response is worth the read as it addresses the man's view point. Something many often forget to consider.

Thanks agent, good article. It's true. Maybe after I deliver the dust will settle but right now its just like a mine that could do some serious damage to a man 😛

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by AgentP911
http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/is-it-possible-to-date-while-pregnant/

Not exactly the same situation as OP but close enough. The response is worth the read as it addresses the man's view point. Something many often forget to consider.

Thanks AP911. That's exactly my point...

That's exactly what I was trying to tell the OP! Glad the article confirmed my point....

It's plain obvious in my view....

click to expand

I really like this Evan fella, a dating coach based in the USA. There's loads of articles/questions with his responses on his site plus other people comment afterwards. He tells it as it is and it's rather enlightening.

Agree with you JB, not many fellas would want to date an already pregnant woman, huge commitment right there.

Posted by hardtolovelibra
Thanks agent, good article. It's true. Maybe after I deliver the dust will settle but right now its just like a mine that could do some serious damage to a man 😛

lol exactly that!