Beard Testimonials

Share your facial hair and your story, fellas.


Without a beard, strangers ask me for smokes.
With a beard, strangers offer me smokes.


Without a beard, I have to lift weights to look masculine.
With a beard, my whiskers do the heavy lifting for me.


Without a beard, I feel like a peon of society.
With a beard, I feel like I might pee on society.

Without a beard, I feel like a nekkid woman.
With a beard, I see a nekkid woman.

Without a beard, people ask me if I would like a beer.
With a beard, people simply hand me the beer.


"Plato and Aristotle, as teacher and pupil, used to stay up until late every night arguing the merits of short cropped hair combined with a beard. Plato asserted this was the haircut of the philosopher-kings, and accorded with the ideal, abstract form of Beauty."

Beard-schmeared
...nice shoulders tho...

The downfall of being mixed is the thick scraggly pubic beard. I have to revert to stubble every 3-4 months or it just looks like 70s pubes on fertilizer.

Posted by exxtasyx
When I go to the liquor store, I make sure to plan it 2-3 days in advance so I don't shave my facial hair! Yet those cunts still ask me for ID! So no advantages here, with or without facial hair. As for a beard, I don't think I can grow one.

Dem priorities x'D such planning out lmao
But you can legally drink it , so it doesn't matter right? 🙂

Posted by BullShit
I once grew a chin pillow, combing and conditioning it really made it look pretty. But then i went back to my 5 o'clock shadow. Makes me look like i can pull a knife on anyone real quick.

For years I only flirted with growing a beard. Occasionally the pornstache whenever I felt like pissing off significant others, but usually 5 o'clock shadow was my default. I guess I was afraid to give up my dimples in case I needed to manipulate situations.


But once I finally took the plunge, I realized I don't even need to manipulate situations. Things just happen the way I want them to.


Grow your beard back brother, it's the natural way man was meant to be.

Stopping in to say, 5o'clock shadows are the hottest!

Posted by PotHeadVirgo27
I have found that kids respect my authority more when I'm bearded out and I'm not talking about shadows and stubbs.

I feel like a shaved monkey when I have it all gone. It's so uncomfortable. I used to hate when certain jobs made me shave because you're basically telling me, "I don't want you to look like a man". I want you to look professional or in other words, like a bitch. And it sounds about right because they usually look like a raw turkey in the face. Or a shaved monkey like myself. It's actually a gross request unless of course you're preparing food but other than that don't be a grown ass man and approach me with that. Even if you're a grown ass woman. I mean damn you're saying the same shit.

ahh, EXACTLY. The philosophy of the authority of the beard.


For all that women ooh and ahh over the man in uniform, the uniform is the symbol of obedient subservience.

Likewise, the cleanshaven face is the face of the man in chains. Beards being the outwards expression of sovereign masculinity, society deems them something to be shaved off. In history, kings wore beards, the slaves were shaved.

During the brief periods where the role of beards were reversed, it was only due to those in power not being able to grow proper beards themselves. And so they actually taxed and penalized the men who chose to wear their beards with pride.

All great philosophers had beards.

With and Without
I assume both aspects of myself

...lmao, this manlet.

OTOH, it's the age old battle between philosophers and hipsters on beards. I'll see how that goes.

Every woman I know hates facial hair, my guy friends that decided to grow beards their wives or girlfriends hated it, all my female friends prefer clean shaven I haven't had any facial hair over 3 years in my experience women like clean shaven.

Posted by Stihl46
Every woman I know hates facial hair, my guy friends that decided to grow beards their wives or girlfriends hated it, all my female friends prefer clean shaven I haven't had any facial hair over 3 years in my experience women like clean shaven.

And you emasculate yourself because women prefer it?





Next you'll be admitting to shaving your belly bald because some scorpiho suggested it

Posted by Damnata


...lmao, this manlet.

OTOH, it's the age old battle between philosophers and hipsters on beards. I'll see how that goes.

*looks at that weak chin and those feminine shoulders*

*smirks*

Man with beard vs baldfaced manlet:

Posted by MlleFisk
*walks in with clippers and a razor*

begone, Delilah

Posted by Stihl46
Every woman I know hates facial hair, my guy friends that decided to grow beards their wives or girlfriends hated it, all my female friends prefer clean shaven I haven't had any facial hair over 3 years in my experience women like clean shaven.

All women, ESPECIALLY SCORPIO WOMEN, use these tactics to cull the weak from the strong.
They tell you they don't like beard, and lo and behold, the weak men shave off their beard, then they tell you they like gentle men and men start acting as little lap dogs on a leash. And before you know it you're a soccerdad paying for the mortgage while your wife treetrunks strong men.


AYYYYY LMAO

Posted by Stihl46
Every woman I know hates facial hair, my guy friends that decided to grow beards their wives or girlfriends hated it, all my female friends prefer clean shaven I haven't had any facial hair over 3 years in my experience women like clean shaven.

In your experience you can grow a killer dirtstache

And there is no story, it just is.

That is a beard to wear with pride.

Posted by Reincarnation
I like the beard. It makes me feel more intellectual.

You sure need all the help you can get.

For a minute I thought this thread was about Lisa Marie Presley, or George Clooney's wife or something similar....

Posted by feby

Posted by Damnata


...lmao, this manlet.

OTOH, it's the age old battle between philosophers and hipsters on beards. I'll see how that goes.

LOL!!

click to expand

I don't know why you feel less of a man if you don't have a beard? I'm not a city slicker I'm far from being metrosexual. BTW my Cappy friend is the one that said women like clean shaven I had a cop stache for years.

YESSS.. stubble/beard/facial hair on men is better than clean shave.

Posted by BullShit


My shorter beard



My chin pillow pre-lasek

I like my 5 o'clock shadow better.

If I had to pick one for a job, I'd pick the accountant one.

BTW how old are you? I heard you say you were 18 or sthg. you look older

I can't grow a beard

Posted by boringpyezece

Posted by Stihl46
Every woman I know hates facial hair, my guy friends that decided to grow beards their wives or girlfriends hated it, all my female friends prefer clean shaven I haven't had any facial hair over 3 years in my experience women like clean shaven.

And you emasculate yourself because women prefer it?





Next you'll be admitting to shaving your belly bald because some scorpiho suggested it

click to expand

Bahahahahaha

I love my beard. I've had it for 2 years now.