Her Body Count....does it matter to you? (Page 2)

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Please share with the class.



I don't want to slut shame and I think of myself as being sex positive but

I also feel like a high number could indicate other issues like deep rooted insecurity (using sex for validation) which is a no go me if I'm looking for a relationship or a potential future wife.

Even casual sex with a girl with a high body count seems less appealing.

If she's more discerning and is willing to hook up with you it seems like a more rewarding and fulfilling experience for both of you no??

Thoughts?

"If she's more discerning and is willing to hook up with you it seems like a more rewarding and fulfilling experience for both of you no??"

I read this and in my head it screams value system.

Why people lie about their number of partners and thier past.

No matter how you look at it that statement boils down to her worth as a person and partner being diminished by body count.

Rather who she is as a person...



Who she chooses is far more important then how many, that is true discernment.

This is what men are judged by most.

In fact, Thanks to the value system you all follow, all a guy has to do is bag a woman of that has high desirablity and anyone who feels she is less then her, will gain attraction and value.

If a man is dismissive or turns down a opportunity he will gain value with other woman too.

On that note, Woman take getting turned down (whatever the reason) far far worse than a man. As if it's tied to thier self worth.

There is another fun concept as well, "sloppy seconds." You are literally be punished and options of relationships deminished by sleeping with someone a interest knows.

On top of that, if a man sleep with a woman of low standing he will lose points in his circle.

All of it is bullshit. A man or woman can literally fuck a stadium and if no one knows, thier "value" is untouched....

It's all biological hardwiring masquerading as social hierarchy point system. Then further

justified and rationalized by ego. It's like a fucking game we play with each other. It's conceptual, only exists in the mind.



The only real concern a individual should have when it comes to sex, is the emotional and phycology bond it creates naturally. As well as physical & mental health and welbeing. Those things have a lasting effect on relationships and shapes thier life to a noticeable degree.

P.S. You are also giving, receiving, and stimulating mental and emotional energy through the body. That concept is very real and effects can linger.

click to expand

yeah being specific she made out and has hooked up with a few people she regularly hangs out with

and

had made out with someone who I know was just trying to hook up with as many girls as possible in our friend group...

so that was also why specifically a turn off for me.

It's a little less troubling if at all if you don't know the stadium of past hookups.lol

But like if she takes you on a date to a ball game and you and her are n the stadium itself with all of her past and potentially current make out and sex partners ....that's a whole other scenario entirely lol

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by saggurl88

I don’t even ask this question. It’s pointless, most would lie anyways. I just want someone with experience and know how and a clean bill of health.

Asking this question is immature IMO.

What happens is they said they had a body count of 5 but were fucking/ dating 3 people at the same time.

Vs

Someone who’s got 15, but is only seeing you?

Body count is for insecure people. I don’t think there is a reason to ask at all. It’s a breeding ground for lies and insecurity.

Asking about body count and being butthurt by what you hear is the easiest way to say your insecure and a shit lover without actually saying your insecure and a shit lover. Imagine feeling so entitled to some ones body you believe you own their past as well, wild. If you want to mix sex with objectification so badly pay for it.

click to expand

what if you're not butt hurt just but surprised? lol

if it wasn't for the narcissism and i could have sex without getting attached

I totally would have

the numbers weren't a deterrent.

this convo happened mind you a few days after we almost had sex

and the subsequent emotional torture she put me through.

Fire sign women narcissists can be savage bro.

It could just be because it was a long time ago but the pisces narcissist i deal with a over a decade ago was much nicer to me i think lol

I should have slept with her actually ( though I wasn't attracted sexually..she was beyond gorgeous and did care about me in her way)

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Please share with the class.



I don't want to slut shame and I think of myself as being sex positive but

I also feel like a high number could indicate other issues like deep rooted insecurity (using sex for validation) which is a no go me if I'm looking for a relationship or a potential future wife.

Even casual sex with a girl with a high body count seems less appealing.

If she's more discerning and is willing to hook up with you it seems like a more rewarding and fulfilling experience for both of you no??

Thoughts?

"If she's more discerning and is willing to hook up with you it seems like a more rewarding and fulfilling experience for both of you no??"

I read this and in my head it screams value system.

Why people lie about their number of partners and thier past.

No matter how you look at it that statement boils down to her worth as a person and partner being diminished by body count.

Rather who she is as a person...



Who she chooses is far more important then how many, that is true discernment.

This is what men are judged by most.

In fact, Thanks to the value system you all follow, all a guy has to do is bag a woman of that has high desirablity and anyone who feels she is less then her, will gain attraction and value.

If a man is dismissive or turns down a opportunity he will gain value with other woman too.

On that note, Woman take getting turned down (whatever the reason) far far worse than a man. As if it's tied to thier self worth.

There is another fun concept as well, "sloppy seconds." You are literally be punished and options of relationships deminished by sleeping with someone a interest knows.

On top of that, if a man sleep with a woman of low standing he will lose points in his circle.

All of it is bullshit. A man or woman can literally fuck a stadium and if no one knows, thier "value" is untouched....

It's all biological hardwiring masquerading as social hierarchy point system. Then further

justified and rationalized by ego. It's like a fucking game we play with each other. It's conceptual, only exists in the mind.



The only real concern a individual should have when it comes to sex, is the emotional and phycology bond it creates naturally. As well as physical & mental health and welbeing. Those things have a lasting effect on relationships and shapes thier life to a noticeable degree.

P.S. You are also giving, receiving, and stimulating mental and emotional energy through the body. That concept is very real and effects can linger.

yeah being specific she made out and has hooked up with a few people she regularly hangs out with

and

had made out with someone who I know was just trying to hook up with as many girls as possible in our friend group...

so that was also why specifically a turn off for me.

It's a little less troubling if at all if you don't know the stadium of past hookups.lol

But like if she takes you on a date to a ball game and you and her are n the stadium itself with all of her past and potentially current make out and sex partners ....that's a whole other scenario entirely lol

click to expand

Lmao see!? Social hierarchy and standing again🤣

If it complicates and causes drama I understand.

Lmao Dude that just wants to bang everyone without discernment. That's a physical health concern.

That I get 100% , especially from a woman perspective.

To be clear, don't get me wrong. I'm pointing out what's actually going on and why. People are free to do themselves. Imo just choose to do it consciously.

A lot is social conditioning shaped around biological programing and the why. I feel like the why is what's important has been lost over time. What I mentioned would be the "roots" of that.

Actually more sexual open cultures practice good hygiene and discernment. Think swingers, poly, tribes, and the like. Well tribes don't matter they share the same microbes anyway 🙃

I have considered all this myself. Personally I'd be more pissed if she f'd assholes and dirt bags. Sleeping with them reinforces thier behavior. I wouldn't care who she slept with beyond that so long she is safe. I have Zero issues introducing people I've slept with to s/o. I am friends with all my ex partners. I would want my s/o to know other people in my life. I'd be more worried about them sharing stories and hanging up on me.

Yes this has happened😏

Yes I never had issues meeting my partners former partners either.

Am I wierd?

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by saggurl88

I don’t even ask this question. It’s pointless, most would lie anyways. I just want someone with experience and know how and a clean bill of health.

Asking this question is immature IMO.

What happens is they said they had a body count of 5 but were fucking/ dating 3 people at the same time.

Vs

Someone who’s got 15, but is only seeing you?

Body count is for insecure people. I don’t think there is a reason to ask at all. It’s a breeding ground for lies and insecurity.

Asking about body count and being butthurt by what you hear is the easiest way to say your insecure and a shit lover without actually saying your insecure and a shit lover. Imagine feeling so entitled to some ones body you believe you own their past as well, wild. If you want to mix sex with objectification so badly pay for it.

what if you're not butt hurt just but surprised? lol

if it wasn't for the narcissism and i could have sex without getting attached

I totally would have

the numbers weren't a deterrent.

this convo happened mind you a few days after we almost had sex

and the subsequent emotional torture she put me through.

Fire sign women narcissists can be savage bro.

It could just be because it was a long time ago but the pisces narcissist i deal with a over a decade ago was much nicer to me i think lol

I should have slept with her actually ( though I wasn't attracted sexually..she was beyond gorgeous and did care about me in her way)

click to expand

So her body count didn't matter until she put you through 'emotional torture' and now it does because you can use it as a tool to devalue her. Just say you dislike her and shes a shit person and move on. You don't need to excite the incels of dxp to shit on all women, seems excessive and like you care quite a lot about her actually.

Her perceived narcissism towards you has nothing to do with how many people she's had sex with.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by saggurl88

I don’t even ask this question. It’s pointless, most would lie anyways. I just want someone with experience and know how and a clean bill of health.

Asking this question is immature IMO.

What happens is they said they had a body count of 5 but were fucking/ dating 3 people at the same time.

Vs

Someone who’s got 15, but is only seeing you?

Body count is for insecure people. I don’t think there is a reason to ask at all. It’s a breeding ground for lies and insecurity.

Asking about body count and being butthurt by what you hear is the easiest way to say your insecure and a shit lover without actually saying your insecure and a shit lover. Imagine feeling so entitled to some ones body you believe you own their past as well, wild. If you want to mix sex with objectification so badly pay for it.

what if you're not butt hurt just but surprised? lol

if it wasn't for the narcissism and i could have sex without getting attached

I totally would have

the numbers weren't a deterrent.

this convo happened mind you a few days after we almost had sex

and the subsequent emotional torture she put me through.

Fire sign women narcissists can be savage bro.

It could just be because it was a long time ago but the pisces narcissist i deal with a over a decade ago was much nicer to me i think lol

I should have slept with her actually ( though I wasn't attracted sexually..she was beyond gorgeous and did care about me in her way)

So her body count didn't matter until she put you through 'emotional torture' and now it does because you can use it as a tool to devalue her. Just say you dislike her and shes a shit person and move on. You don't need to excite the incels of dxp to shit on all women, seems excessive and like you care quite a lot about her actually.

Her perceived narcissism towards you has nothing to do with how many people she's had sex with.

click to expand

It actually does in the context of how it manifests itself and why I wrote her off even in terms of a relationship prior to catching feels

She explicitly told me her exes would get mad that she would go out flirt and give people her number even after being in a committed relationship

and what pointed towards narcissism was the total lack of empathy in describing her exes being upset about this

saying it had to do with their attachment style s and it was on them they way they felt.......

that she was "secure" in her attachment.

I'm the jealous type so it was a no go in terms of a relationship for me just based on that

plus again the lack of empathy and accountability for her past actions....



Flash forward to visiting her a few weeks ago

The friday evening following the morning I didn't let things escalate when I was in bed with her.....guess what she did?

At a party she invited a few of her friends who she had been hooking up with and or have hooked up in the past

and then proceeded to heavily flirt ( and possibly make out...she denied this though..she even denies ( tried to gaslight me) in regards to the heavy flirting even with all of the witnesses) with another person in front of me and these other people who she had sexual relationships with.

She later indicated that weekend she did indeed have a prior sexual relationship with the other people but she didn't actually have to tell me because they were all visibly as upset or more than me...two of them even left early.

I gave one of them a ride home.

She pulled the flirting thing on purpose and she did this without remorse and empathy for her "friends"....which again points to narcissism.....

She wanted to prove a point and inflict pain....for revenge...for the feeling of control and supply.

Also again theory is this behavior of sleeping with other people for control manipulation and attention I believe has probably been going on for quite awhile and has contributed to her body count.

While her number might not be that high for her age I think it is uncommon to have a lot of "friends" that you have hooked up with and that who you regularly hang out with( these people aren't really friends as they wanted something more from her because she had blurred boundaries with sex intentionally) .

Narcissist use sex as a tool to manipulate and control. Google it. It's what I found out via google.lol

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by saggurl88

I don’t even ask this question. It’s pointless, most would lie anyways. I just want someone with experience and know how and a clean bill of health.

Asking this question is immature IMO.

What happens is they said they had a body count of 5 but were fucking/ dating 3 people at the same time.

Vs

Someone who’s got 15, but is only seeing you?

Body count is for insecure people. I don’t think there is a reason to ask at all. It’s a breeding ground for lies and insecurity.

Asking about body count and being butthurt by what you hear is the easiest way to say your insecure and a shit lover without actually saying your insecure and a shit lover. Imagine feeling so entitled to some ones body you believe you own their past as well, wild. If you want to mix sex with objectification so badly pay for it.

what if you're not butt hurt just but surprised? lol

if it wasn't for the narcissism and i could have sex without getting attached

I totally would have

the numbers weren't a deterrent.

this convo happened mind you a few days after we almost had sex

and the subsequent emotional torture she put me through.

Fire sign women narcissists can be savage bro.

It could just be because it was a long time ago but the pisces narcissist i deal with a over a decade ago was much nicer to me i think lol

I should have slept with her actually ( though I wasn't attracted sexually..she was beyond gorgeous and did care about me in her way)

So her body count didn't matter until she put you through 'emotional torture' and now it does because you can use it as a tool to devalue her. Just say you dislike her and shes a shit person and move on. You don't need to excite the incels of dxp to shit on all women, seems excessive and like you care quite a lot about her actually.

Her perceived narcissism towards you has nothing to do with how many people she's had sex with.

click to expand

And yes I obviously care a lot about her.

I didn't / don't want to but you can't really choose that...just like I didn't want to be sexually and physically attracted to her also.

Both of my parents are narcissists and I have a romantic history with narcissists...which is apparently a thing ( children who grew up with at least one narcissistic parent will most likely unconsciously seek one out romantically in adulthood ...we are also apparently narcissistic bait as we've been groomed to be highly attuned to others needs , often suppressing our own and asking for very little in relationships. which is the ideal relationship for a narcissist apparently.

Come to think of it I actually advertised this fact about myself in front of her unknowingly while talking to other friends...to which she interjected and asked if i thought she was narcissist..which was weird I didn't even realize she was listening / around...but soon after that's when she started pursuing me with the flirting and touching , DMs etc.....

But anyways I clearly need to work all this out in therapy.lol

I hope in therapy I can be reprogrammed so I can be attracted to someone who is capable of loving me in the way I have always deserved and needed .

I'm trying to learn to love myself better first though. Maybe then she will appear. I pray she's out there. I really do.