@virgoOPPP
7 Years10,000+ Posts
What does it mean
Understanding a Guy's Behavior When He Asks You to Fight for Him
This behavior may indicate emotional manipulation or insecurity. He seeks validation and tests your feelings through provoking reactions, which can be a sign of controlling tendencies. It is important to evaluate if his actions are respectful and genuine or if they serve to unsettle you.
Hell naw! That is an extremely insecure man. The only time Ive ever asked for more effort was when my relationship was one sided and I knew it was just me trying.
When I want a woman Im usually more than willing to chase. This man sounds like an insecure man looking for a form of control
The only man who actually asked me to fight for him was a Virgo I used to date. He was cheating on me with another girl, and then wanted me to fight for him. I don't fight for anyone. I feel if you have to fight for someone they aren't giving their love freely which I require.
Big baby
Ewwww
That’s concerning that he was happy you were upset & cried. Not a man thing, but more an unhealthy need & way for finding out how you feel.
It means he's a whiny little bitch.
Seriously though, are you dating my ex Taurus? Beta behaviour stemming from insecurity and mommy issues.
no but he's a taurus mars
He was desperate to get some sort of emotional response from you
Why? That’s what you need to find out. For his ego? Does he not feel like/believe you care? Could be anything
This sounds like more something a woman would do. Let me guess - water heavy man?
yeah pisces sun/pisces venus
broke up with him for like the 3rd time coz things are getting stupid
No it’s not a guy thing, Virgo
Its an insecure unbalanced immature person thing
Is this someone you’re with?? 😐
Both Men and Women do this..
Tell him to stop...
The prom has ended a long time ago.
All of us are trying to pay bills, make a living,
and take care of ourselves in the best way
possible and LIVE.,, no one has time for these little [pitty pat] games..
Events play out on their own naturally to see if someone truly loves us. We don't need extra.
Would he like it if you lied and manipulated him to see if he loved you because this event says a whole lot about him. His way of loving and mature level.
-----------------------------------------
No it’s not a guy thing, Virgo
Its an insecure unbalanced immature person thing
Is this someone you’re with?? 😐
broke up with him 3rd time
1st time was when my ex begged me that we should work things out so i dropped this guy
2nd time was when he kept sending me pics of a 'secret gf' which turned out to just be an ex from years ago but he just wanted to get an emotional response out of me that he made it up coz i rejected him back then
3rd time was when i told him that i was so upset about some argument we had that it made me cry (then he sounded and acted so pleased about it)
srsly maybe i should date an aries
No it’s not a guy thing, Virgo
Its an insecure unbalanced immature person thing
Is this someone you’re with?? 😐
broke up with him 3rd time
1st time was when my ex begged me that we should work things out so i dropped this guy
2nd time was when he kept sending me pics of a 'secret gf' which turned out to just be an ex from years ago but he just wanted to get an emotional response out of me that he made it up coz i rejected him back then
3rd time was when i told him that i was so upset about some argument we had that it made me cry (then he sounded and acted so pleased about it)
srsly maybe i should date an aries
click to expand
The Pisces cap Moon bloke
Or original Cap Pisces Moon guy?
Or someone else?
But you said it yourself that you like a love bomber, the clingy energy at the start. It’s exciting for you. A stable man is too boring for you. You want the guy who is doing the most.
And then it ends up the same way it always does.
Is you a tomboy - dating highly feminine guys? Cause that (both what he said and how he reacted) - sounds a lot like something a woman would say (a feminine manipulative tactic - to put it like that 😝).
No it’s not a guy thing, Virgo
Its an insecure unbalanced immature person thing
Is this someone you’re with?? 😐
broke up with him 3rd time
1st time was when my ex begged me that we should work things out so i dropped this guy
2nd time was when he kept sending me pics of a 'secret gf' which turned out to just be an ex from years ago but he just wanted to get an emotional response out of me that he made it up coz i rejected him back then
3rd time was when i told him that i was so upset about some argument we had that it made me cry (then he sounded and acted so pleased about it)
srsly maybe i should date an aries
The Pisces cap Moon bloke
Or original Cap Pisces Moon guy?
Or someone else?
click to expand
pisces sun/cap moon
It means you need to get a new bf and a therapist
Honestly I feel like lots more people use other people for validation and their own amusement than people realize. Treating people like commodities or accessories instead of people. I know I've been guilty of it at times and try not to do it. There could be lots of reasons why people do it. Sometimes people get hurt in a past relationship and take it out on all their future significant others. Sometimes it's some other light or heavy life trauma. But in general I think there's just an ever increasing self-centered mindset in the world, and with hook up culture the way it is now, people want to take as much as possible while giving as little as possible
he said i made him this way coz i rejected him back then and that he was so in love with me when i broke his heart. but he kept saying it's all in the past but dude sucks in lying coz i can see he's still hurt by that. but i thought that him confessing he wanted to hurt me like one time FIXED things. fair and square, right? but he can't stop trying to get a reaction out of me and now directly demanding validation.
i've taken to sending lunches to his office with little notes which he loved. he said people kept asking him about it. guess there's nothing wrong if he liked the attention coz he admits to liking it anyway. but then if i don't reply to him fast enough, he'll tell me i'm not doing enough.
does he want flowers lol? coz i can work with that. but sometimes it's frustrating coz he'll be happy for a while then thirsty for more validation. he told me that i should exert even more effort for him.
and i've made lunches for my exes before and it was pretty casual. they quietly thank and appreaciate this but i don't know if he notices, but seems to me like he wants me to court him? hey it's a new world so 🤷♀️🤷♀️
i thought this was amusing at first but now i'm like bruh you just received sweet notes hours ago like why you trying to send me pics of you with your ex from your vacation years ago? it's getting stupid. yet he tells me i'm 'immature' like dude he's like 33 and i'm 28 but i'm not sending him pics of myself on vacation with my exes.
told him he's childish so we broke up the 3rd time.
Is you a tomboy - dating highly feminine guys? Cause that (both what he said and how he reacted) - sounds a lot like something a woman would say (a feminine manipulative tactic - to put it like that 😝).
"Other women want me toooo." -millennial men
the dynamic starting to look like that, huh? does it count if i'm a first houser? my cap sun/pisces moon ex acted similarly tbh. his new gf (pisces) told me she was the one who always had to go apologize to him coz he will sulk and want attention. she's preaching to the choir.
believe it or not, i'm more stable than these people. they demand more attention and validation than i do. coz i follow the rules. i don't pry too deeply and i give them a lot of freedom. i trust they'd be happier that way.
Lol same thread again. You know what the issue is. You're too unenthusiastic, non-commital, laidback, nonchalant, detached I don't even know the word but these guys aren't getting the feeling that you want them or care much if they are actually there or not. So they do these tests to try and elicit some kind of proof of attachment out of you
Whether they should be like that or not is kind of irrelevant. Do you want to date him or not? You don't even know LOL
i'm starting to believe you. you were right about the seeming detachment. coz i follow the 'cool girl' rules. i'm never too openly emotional unless angered. but you gotta understand, it's only been like 3 weeks like wtf kinda attachment you want from here? cardinal energy is oddly really needy. aries sun/cancer moon was the same way. cap sun/pisces moon too. i suspect it's an ego thing. they want you to throw a tantrum.
No it’s not a guy thing, Virgo
Its an insecure unbalanced immature person thing
Is this someone you’re with?? 😐
broke up with him 3rd time
1st time was when my ex begged me that we should work things out so i dropped this guy
2nd time was when he kept sending me pics of a 'secret gf' which turned out to just be an ex from years ago but he just wanted to get an emotional response out of me that he made it up coz i rejected him back then
3rd time was when i told him that i was so upset about some argument we had that it made me cry (then he sounded and acted so pleased about it)
srsly maybe i should date an aries
The Pisces cap Moon bloke
Or original Cap Pisces Moon guy?
Or someone else?
pisces sun/cap moon
click to expand
That combo isn’t good for you
Is you a tomboy - dating highly feminine guys? Cause that (both what he said and how he reacted) - sounds a lot like something a woman would say (a feminine manipulative tactic - to put it like that 😝).
"Other women want me toooo." -millennial men
the dynamic starting to look like that, huh? does it count if i'm a first houser? my cap sun/pisces moon ex acted similarly tbh. his new gf (pisces) told me she was the one who always had to go apologize to him coz he will sulk and want attention. she's preaching to the choir.
believe it or not, i'm more stable than these people. they demand more attention and validation than i do. coz i follow the rules. i don't pry too deeply and i give them a lot of freedom. i trust they'd be happier that way.
click to expand
Ye still sound tomboyish - even the part where ye say ye're more stable & following rules (masculine energy) - compared to them chaotic attention seeking types (feminine energy). 😏
Is you a tomboy - dating highly feminine guys? Cause that (both what he said and how he reacted) - sounds a lot like something a woman would say (a feminine manipulative tactic - to put it like that 😝).
"Other women want me toooo." -millennial men
the dynamic starting to look like that, huh? does it count if i'm a first houser? my cap sun/pisces moon ex acted similarly tbh. his new gf (pisces) told me she was the one who always had to go apologize to him coz he will sulk and want attention. she's preaching to the choir.
believe it or not, i'm more stable than these people. they demand more attention and validation than i do. coz i follow the rules. i don't pry too deeply and i give them a lot of freedom. i trust they'd be happier that way.
Ye still sound tomboyish - even the part where ye say ye're more stable & following rules (masculine energy) - compared to them chaotic attention seeking types (feminine energy). 😏
I think you have that backwards.. following directions and rules is submissive. I.e. feminine.
Most male animals in nature put on some sort of dramatic display to attract a mate. I.e. masculine
click to expand
i'm so passive with this dude but then i am in general. i just let him do whatever he wants. and he doesn't like that for some reason? i feel like he needs some more assertive energy.
Is you a tomboy - dating highly feminine guys? Cause that (both what he said and how he reacted) - sounds a lot like something a woman would say (a feminine manipulative tactic - to put it like that 😝).
"Other women want me toooo." -millennial men
the dynamic starting to look like that, huh? does it count if i'm a first houser? my cap sun/pisces moon ex acted similarly tbh. his new gf (pisces) told me she was the one who always had to go apologize to him coz he will sulk and want attention. she's preaching to the choir.
believe it or not, i'm more stable than these people. they demand more attention and validation than i do. coz i follow the rules. i don't pry too deeply and i give them a lot of freedom. i trust they'd be happier that way.
Ye still sound tomboyish - even the part where ye say ye're more stable & following rules (masculine energy) - compared to them chaotic attention seeking types (feminine energy). 😏
I think you have that backwards.. following directions and rules is submissive. I.e. feminine.
Most male animals in nature put on some sort of dramatic display to attract a mate. I.e. masculine
click to expand
Nah. Rules/Laws = Order of Things. In every civilized society (savage too - to some extent) - that's a masculine energy. Be it a work environment, traveling, or even talking and thinking (like talking by turn instead of constantly yapping yer mouth) - most men usually prefer a order of doing things. Even if we're talking about a CEO, a MMA fighter or the manliest of men - they all follow rules. And not because they're submissive - but more because it feels right (there's even a sense of comfort). Believe it or not - crossing through a red light is usually deemed as immature behavior - not being submissive. Generally speaking, rules/laws have a pragmatic purpose (as mentioned above - that's usually deemed as the most appropriate way of doing things - like following a blueprint). While submissiveness is more about - power-play, as in - yielding to the authority or allowing yourself to be controlled by another.
Yes, most male animals "flex" in one way or the other. Tho, no aware of any male from the animal kingdom - winning a female based on "how needy they can get (biggest beggar being the most desired by females)". And that's particularly true for male and females of the human species. Well, generally speaking. Quite rare i presume - like one in a million and such.but there's probably also women who's brain seem to function backwards in this regard, like... being attracted to the least desirable of all men who chase them. In this big world (half order half chaos) - abnormalities are a given.
Is you a tomboy - dating highly feminine guys? Cause that (both what he said and how he reacted) - sounds a lot like something a woman would say (a feminine manipulative tactic - to put it like that 😝).
"Other women want me toooo." -millennial men
the dynamic starting to look like that, huh? does it count if i'm a first houser? my cap sun/pisces moon ex acted similarly tbh. his new gf (pisces) told me she was the one who always had to go apologize to him coz he will sulk and want attention. she's preaching to the choir.
believe it or not, i'm more stable than these people. they demand more attention and validation than i do. coz i follow the rules. i don't pry too deeply and i give them a lot of freedom. i trust they'd be happier that way.
Ye still sound tomboyish - even the part where ye say ye're more stable & following rules (masculine energy) - compared to them chaotic attention seeking types (feminine energy). 😏
I think you have that backwards.. following directions and rules is submissive. I.e. feminine.
Most male animals in nature put on some sort of dramatic display to attract a mate. I.e. masculine
Nah. Rules/Laws = Order of Things. In every civilized society (savage too - to some extent) - that's a masculine energy. Be it a work environment, traveling, or even talking and thinking (like talking by turn instead of constantly yapping yer mouth) - most men usually prefer a order of doing things. Even if we're talking about a CEO, a MMA fighter or the manliest of men - they all follow rules. And not because they're submissive - but more because it feels right (there's even a sense of comfort). Believe it or not - crossing through a red light is usually deemed as immature behavior - not being submissive. Generally speaking, rules/laws have a pragmatic purpose (as mentioned above - that's usually deemed as the most appropriate way of doing things - like following a blueprint). While submissiveness is more about - power-play, as in - yielding to the authority or allowing yourself to be controlled by another.
Yes, most male animals "flex" in one way or the other. Tho, no aware of any male from the animal kingdom - winning a female based on "how needy they can get (biggest beggar being the most desired by females)". And that's particularly true for male and females of the human species. Well, generally speaking. Quite rare i presume - like one in a million and such.but there's probably also women who's brain seem to function backwards in this regard, like... being attracted to the least desirable of all men who chase them. In this big world (half order half chaos) - abnormalities are a given.
Nah, there is a reason why law, order, and justice has always been symbolized as a female in mythology. There's a reason there are more men in prisons than women.
I think we agree on the second part: males in all aspects of nature put on a show, flex, brag on their conquests and accomplishments, and have bright colors to seek the attention of the females. Which would make attention seeking a masculine property.
click to expand
yeah men have to be brighter, larger and louder in order to compete with other males. my gay uni professor once said he felt weirded out when a female student was loud or arrogant coz he's always associated these traits with men. temperance, reason and order should have feminine associations which will make impulse and intuition actually masculine.
i find it weird that crossdressing men are usually accused of 'hyperfeminism' when pageantry is very masculine.
this is irrelevant convo tho. he is domineering emotionally and even in bed. i have no power anywhere. this would be fine if only he can let go of his old grudge. knowing us, we'll prob get back together a year or 2 from now. but that's just stupid asf.
Is you a tomboy - dating highly feminine guys? Cause that (both what he said and how he reacted) - sounds a lot like something a woman would say (a feminine manipulative tactic - to put it like that 😝).
"Other women want me toooo." -millennial men
the dynamic starting to look like that, huh? does it count if i'm a first houser? my cap sun/pisces moon ex acted similarly tbh. his new gf (pisces) told me she was the one who always had to go apologize to him coz he will sulk and want attention. she's preaching to the choir.
believe it or not, i'm more stable than these people. they demand more attention and validation than i do. coz i follow the rules. i don't pry too deeply and i give them a lot of freedom. i trust they'd be happier that way.
Ye still sound tomboyish - even the part where ye say ye're more stable & following rules (masculine energy) - compared to them chaotic attention seeking types (feminine energy). 😏
I think you have that backwards.. following directions and rules is submissive. I.e. feminine.
Most male animals in nature put on some sort of dramatic display to attract a mate. I.e. masculine
Nah. Rules/Laws = Order of Things. In every civilized society (savage too - to some extent) - that's a masculine energy. Be it a work environment, traveling, or even talking and thinking (like talking by turn instead of constantly yapping yer mouth) - most men usually prefer a order of doing things. Even if we're talking about a CEO, a MMA fighter or the manliest of men - they all follow rules. And not because they're submissive - but more because it feels right (there's even a sense of comfort). Believe it or not - crossing through a red light is usually deemed as immature behavior - not being submissive. Generally speaking, rules/laws have a pragmatic purpose (as mentioned above - that's usually deemed as the most appropriate way of doing things - like following a blueprint). While submissiveness is more about - power-play, as in - yielding to the authority or allowing yourself to be controlled by another.
Yes, most male animals "flex" in one way or the other. Tho, no aware of any male from the animal kingdom - winning a female based on "how needy they can get (biggest beggar being the most desired by females)". And that's particularly true for male and females of the human species. Well, generally speaking. Quite rare i presume - like one in a million and such.but there's probably also women who's brain seem to function backwards in this regard, like... being attracted to the least desirable of all men who chase them. In this big world (half order half chaos) - abnormalities are a given.
Nah, there is a reason why law, order, and justice has always been symbolized as a female in mythology. There's a reason there are more men in prisons than women.
I think we agree on the second part: males in all aspects of nature put on a show, flex, brag on their conquests and accomplishments, and have bright colors to seek the attention of the females. Which would make attention seeking a masculine property.
click to expand
Again, it's a big world. Not aware of your human condition - but if for you the traits of masculinity are defined mainly by a lawless attire (criminals, rapists, simply put - savages who act on the impulse alone) - your worldview seems really obscure to me. Can't help but feeling like i'm describing the ocean - to a prisoner from Plato's allegory of the cave...
Simply put...
Is you a tomboy - dating highly feminine guys? Cause that (both what he said and how he reacted) - sounds a lot like something a woman would say (a feminine manipulative tactic - to put it like that 😝).
"Other women want me toooo." -millennial men
the dynamic starting to look like that, huh? does it count if i'm a first houser? my cap sun/pisces moon ex acted similarly tbh. his new gf (pisces) told me she was the one who always had to go apologize to him coz he will sulk and want attention. she's preaching to the choir.
believe it or not, i'm more stable than these people. they demand more attention and validation than i do. coz i follow the rules. i don't pry too deeply and i give them a lot of freedom. i trust they'd be happier that way.
Ye still sound tomboyish - even the part where ye say ye're more stable & following rules (masculine energy) - compared to them chaotic attention seeking types (feminine energy). 😏
I think you have that backwards.. following directions and rules is submissive. I.e. feminine.
Most male animals in nature put on some sort of dramatic display to attract a mate. I.e. masculine
Nah. Rules/Laws = Order of Things. In every civilized society (savage too - to some extent) - that's a masculine energy. Be it a work environment, traveling, or even talking and thinking (like talking by turn instead of constantly yapping yer mouth) - most men usually prefer a order of doing things. Even if we're talking about a CEO, a MMA fighter or the manliest of men - they all follow rules. And not because they're submissive - but more because it feels right (there's even a sense of comfort). Believe it or not - crossing through a red light is usually deemed as immature behavior - not being submissive. Generally speaking, rules/laws have a pragmatic purpose (as mentioned above - that's usually deemed as the most appropriate way of doing things - like following a blueprint). While submissiveness is more about - power-play, as in - yielding to the authority or allowing yourself to be controlled by another.
Yes, most male animals "flex" in one way or the other. Tho, no aware of any male from the animal kingdom - winning a female based on "how needy they can get (biggest beggar being the most desired by females)". And that's particularly true for male and females of the human species. Well, generally speaking. Quite rare i presume - like one in a million and such.but there's probably also women who's brain seem to function backwards in this regard, like... being attracted to the least desirable of all men who chase them. In this big world (half order half chaos) - abnormalities are a given.
Nah, there is a reason why law, order, and justice has always been symbolized as a female in mythology. There's a reason there are more men in prisons than women.
I think we agree on the second part: males in all aspects of nature put on a show, flex, brag on their conquests and accomplishments, and have bright colors to seek the attention of the females. Which would make attention seeking a masculine property.
Have to agree here. You gotta look at it from both perspectives to understand.
Feminine sun sign man will value feminine things in a masculine way. Like physical appearance, body mass, physical power, secrecy, strategy, emotions. Basically indirect things. Like a Dog.
Masculine sun man will value things like spontaneity, true pride, open expression, creativity, Basically direct things like a Cat
That's a common misconception of the energies.
Feminine is physical and emotional
Masculine is expressive and direct
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either way, it's irrelevant coz i've always thought people are generally a mix of both anyway. and i find the mix attractive anyway 🤷♀️🤷♀️
when a guy tells you they want you to fight for them? that they wanna feel that you're exerting efforts for them? but all the time their schedule allows is spent with you which makes it impossible for them to be anywhere else but work or with you? then they try to get a reaction out of you by sending you their old pics with their ex or mentioning 'other women' then the next day confess they made it up? then once i confessed i was upset by something that i cried about it (then he acts pleased like it validates him?) like would he really find it more attractive to be chased and getting an emotional reaction out of someone?
is this like a guy thing?
No it’s a narcissist using triangulation and it means it’s a red flag.
That's like the exact definition of a fuck boi.
Hell no its not a guy thing. Even some of the most useless or even lazy men I know aren't like that.
The only person I know who was even somewhat like that was myself when I was like 19. Back when I was just a dumb kid, and pretty much riding purely on ego. If a grown ass man is acting like that, gtfo. Dodge that bullet, because truth be told he refuses to grow up. That or he has deep rooted insecurity, which can be even more dangerous then a simple manchild imo.
Is you a tomboy - dating highly feminine guys? Cause that (both what he said and how he reacted) - sounds a lot like something a woman would say (a feminine manipulative tactic - to put it like that 😝).
"Other women want me toooo." -millennial men
the dynamic starting to look like that, huh? does it count if i'm a first houser? my cap sun/pisces moon ex acted similarly tbh. his new gf (pisces) told me she was the one who always had to go apologize to him coz he will sulk and want attention. she's preaching to the choir.
believe it or not, i'm more stable than these people. they demand more attention and validation than i do. coz i follow the rules. i don't pry too deeply and i give them a lot of freedom. i trust they'd be happier that way.
Ye still sound tomboyish - even the part where ye say ye're more stable & following rules (masculine energy) - compared to them chaotic attention seeking types (feminine energy). 😏
I think you have that backwards.. following directions and rules is submissive. I.e. feminine.
Most male animals in nature put on some sort of dramatic display to attract a mate. I.e. masculine
Nah. Rules/Laws = Order of Things. In every civilized society (savage too - to some extent) - that's a masculine energy. Be it a work environment, traveling, or even talking and thinking (like talking by turn instead of constantly yapping yer mouth) - most men usually prefer a order of doing things. Even if we're talking about a CEO, a MMA fighter or the manliest of men - they all follow rules. And not because they're submissive - but more because it feels right (there's even a sense of comfort). Believe it or not - crossing through a red light is usually deemed as immature behavior - not being submissive. Generally speaking, rules/laws have a pragmatic purpose (as mentioned above - that's usually deemed as the most appropriate way of doing things - like following a blueprint). While submissiveness is more about - power-play, as in - yielding to the authority or allowing yourself to be controlled by another.
Yes, most male animals "flex" in one way or the other. Tho, no aware of any male from the animal kingdom - winning a female based on "how needy they can get (biggest beggar being the most desired by females)". And that's particularly true for male and females of the human species. Well, generally speaking. Quite rare i presume - like one in a million and such.but there's probably also women who's brain seem to function backwards in this regard, like... being attracted to the least desirable of all men who chase them. In this big world (half order half chaos) - abnormalities are a given.
Nah, there is a reason why law, order, and justice has always been symbolized as a female in mythology. There's a reason there are more men in prisons than women.
I think we agree on the second part: males in all aspects of nature put on a show, flex, brag on their conquests and accomplishments, and have bright colors to seek the attention of the females. Which would make attention seeking a masculine property.
yeah men have to be brighter, larger and louder in order to compete with other males. my gay uni professor once said he felt weirded out when a female student was loud or arrogant coz he's always associated these traits with men. temperance, reason and order should have feminine associations which will make impulse and intuition actually masculine.
i find it weird that crossdressing men are usually accused of 'hyperfeminism' when pageantry is very masculine.
this is irrelevant convo tho. he is domineering emotionally and even in bed. i have no power anywhere. this would be fine if only he can let go of his old grudge. knowing us, we'll prob get back together a year or 2 from now. but that's just stupid asf.
I've always found it hilarious when one sex tries to portray the opposite sex. They're like caricatures of stereotypes. My favorite is when women wear baggy jeans and constantly adjust their balls. Every cross dressing man seems to be a combination of Dolly Parton, Kiss, and every Southern waitress ever.
Do you like domineering men? There is power in being aloof. Silence is more powerful IMO than chatter. People's own insecurities do all the damage to themselves while you literally do nothing. This just seems like a power struggle, he wants to know how much you want him. You had the upper hand before, now he's trying to see if he can get it. That's my take. I wouldn't waste my time, honestly
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damn now i'm starting to think this is hot 😳😳
i really need to research about that avoidant-anxious relationship stuff @Wizardz was talking about.
yeah i think what gives me any semblance of power/control is i can detach after a period of suffering and sacrifice.
i actually would throw myself into deeper servitude sometimes only so i can get tired and disgusted enough to leave.
this dude thinks his manipulation would work on me but it's only really driving me away. he's now telling me that he's never even touched another woman after we broke up the first time which was quite some time ago. i know this is true but as someone who got cheated on, i find it really hurtful that he'd use tactics like this. like what if that mind game fulfills itself someday? he takes way too much pleasure in upsetting me.
No it's definitely not a guy thing. Girls used to fight over and for me without me saying anything. And I'm talking physically fighting for me. And who was I to stop them. As a grown man I don't want any of that. In fact I didn't really wanted that as a young kid. Everything in your post screams fucboi. I think that's a fucboi thing.
Is you a tomboy - dating highly feminine guys? Cause that (both what he said and how he reacted) - sounds a lot like something a woman would say (a feminine manipulative tactic - to put it like that 😝).
"Other women want me toooo." -millennial men
the dynamic starting to look like that, huh? does it count if i'm a first houser? my cap sun/pisces moon ex acted similarly tbh. his new gf (pisces) told me she was the one who always had to go apologize to him coz he will sulk and want attention. she's preaching to the choir.
believe it or not, i'm more stable than these people. they demand more attention and validation than i do. coz i follow the rules. i don't pry too deeply and i give them a lot of freedom. i trust they'd be happier that way.
Ye still sound tomboyish - even the part where ye say ye're more stable & following rules (masculine energy) - compared to them chaotic attention seeking types (feminine energy). 😏
I think you have that backwards.. following directions and rules is submissive. I.e. feminine.
Most male animals in nature put on some sort of dramatic display to attract a mate. I.e. masculine
Nah. Rules/Laws = Order of Things. In every civilized society (savage too - to some extent) - that's a masculine energy. Be it a work environment, traveling, or even talking and thinking (like talking by turn instead of constantly yapping yer mouth) - most men usually prefer a order of doing things. Even if we're talking about a CEO, a MMA fighter or the manliest of men - they all follow rules. And not because they're submissive - but more because it feels right (there's even a sense of comfort). Believe it or not - crossing through a red light is usually deemed as immature behavior - not being submissive. Generally speaking, rules/laws have a pragmatic purpose (as mentioned above - that's usually deemed as the most appropriate way of doing things - like following a blueprint). While submissiveness is more about - power-play, as in - yielding to the authority or allowing yourself to be controlled by another.
Yes, most male animals "flex" in one way or the other. Tho, no aware of any male from the animal kingdom - winning a female based on "how needy they can get (biggest beggar being the most desired by females)". And that's particularly true for male and females of the human species. Well, generally speaking. Quite rare i presume - like one in a million and such.but there's probably also women who's brain seem to function backwards in this regard, like... being attracted to the least desirable of all men who chase them. In this big world (half order half chaos) - abnormalities are a given.
Nah, there is a reason why law, order, and justice has always been symbolized as a female in mythology. There's a reason there are more men in prisons than women.
I think we agree on the second part: males in all aspects of nature put on a show, flex, brag on their conquests and accomplishments, and have bright colors to seek the attention of the females. Which would make attention seeking a masculine property.
yeah men have to be brighter, larger and louder in order to compete with other males. my gay uni professor once said he felt weirded out when a female student was loud or arrogant coz he's always associated these traits with men. temperance, reason and order should have feminine associations which will make impulse and intuition actually masculine.
i find it weird that crossdressing men are usually accused of 'hyperfeminism' when pageantry is very masculine.
this is irrelevant convo tho. he is domineering emotionally and even in bed. i have no power anywhere. this would be fine if only he can let go of his old grudge. knowing us, we'll prob get back together a year or 2 from now. but that's just stupid asf.
I've always found it hilarious when one sex tries to portray the opposite sex. They're like caricatures of stereotypes. My favorite is when women wear baggy jeans and constantly adjust their balls. Every cross dressing man seems to be a combination of Dolly Parton, Kiss, and every Southern waitress ever.
Do you like domineering men? There is power in being aloof. Silence is more powerful IMO than chatter. People's own insecurities do all the damage to themselves while you literally do nothing. This just seems like a power struggle, he wants to know how much you want him. You had the upper hand before, now he's trying to see if he can get it. That's my take. I wouldn't waste my time, honestly
damn now i'm starting to think this is hot 😳😳
i really need to research about that avoidant-anxious relationship stuff @Wizardz was talking about.
yeah i think what gives me any semblance of power/control is i can detach after a period of suffering and sacrifice.
i actually would throw myself into deeper servitude sometimes only so i can get tired and disgusted enough to leave.
this dude thinks his manipulation would work on me but it's only really driving me away. he's now telling me that he's never even touched another woman after we broke up the first time which was quite some time ago. i know this is true but as someone who got cheated on, i find it really hurtful that he'd use tactics like this. like what if that mind game fulfills itself someday? he takes way too much pleasure in upsetting me.
How did you get attention when you were a kid? Think about stuff like that
You should be more self-aware of your actions and the motivations behind them, rather than saying that you "follow the rules" and are a "cool girl" that's just cover for what is really going on
Taking submissive actions isn't the same as having no power. There is also a distinction between "bottom" and "sub". Physically you do as you are told but psychologically/emotionally you are detached and you remain in control and that might be part of what sets these guys off. It is a very volatile and confusing dynamic. I know the guys play their part too but I think you tend to pretend that you are doing "nothing" when I suspect you are very much manipulating your relationships on a subconscious level
I think you give mixed messages. You encourage guys to control you in a physical sense whilst at the same time remaining psychologically/emotionally aloof. It's like a trap you set in order to ensure that you never get too emotionally attached and therefore vulnerable because the relationship becomes displeasing to you plus it tends to bring out the bad traits of the guy. Hence, it is ultimately an elaborate avoidance tactic
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holy crap, you can see through me. how do you know these things? who are you? what are your placements? imagine you can do whatever you want. hell you can even set my bedtime. on the outside in every way, i have zero control and i just let things happen. no control of externals but i have absolute control of myself inside (mentally/emotionally) and as much as i can melodrama about all these things, i might cry here and there but i can just as easily walk away too. say like someone who looks crazy drunk outside but dead sober on the inside.
but i don't understand why it sets them off tho 🤷♀️🤷♀️
coz hey, they can't read my mind.
you are a fucking weirdo, but a cute one. in an endless loop. you are amusing me lmao.
Lol that is her charm and what makes these guys act crazy
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True if you act detached the. I can see why this guys is acting as he is.
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when a guy tells you they want you to fight for them? that they wanna feel that you're exerting efforts for them? but all the time their schedule allows is spent with you which makes it impossible for them to be anywhere else but work or with you? then they try to get a reaction out of you by sending you their old pics with their ex or mentioning 'other women' then the next day confess they made it up? then once i confessed i was upset by something that i cried about it (then he acts pleased like it validates him?) like would he really find it more attractive to be chased and getting an emotional reaction out of someone?
is this like a guy thing?