Virgo military man Pisces woman

So I've been in a relationship with this Virgo man for a year and a half. My last relationship with a Taurus for 6 yrs ended and a year later I met my Virgo. Just to give you a brief history on past relationships, he's been in 3 relationships not lasting longer than a yr and a half. In the beginning phase he was sweet. He's completely different than what I'm used to in a man but seemed very mature I guess that was the military in him. Our first disagreement actually started at a grocery store. We argued about who should push the cart -_- which to me is childish. I just let it go but clearly I had an attitude. When we got home that night he wanted to discuss it which to me I thought was a very good sign. He wanted to talk things out I thought that was great. We agreed to disagree about the petty subject and moved on. He mentioned to me one time his ex called him and he reassure me that it was nothing. Since we weren't talking for that long it did not phase me, I just thought it was nice that he could tell me something like that. So he did get cool points for being honest. I noticed since I was staying over his house more that there was a robe behind his door which belonged to his ex gf who doesn't live in the states. I approached him about it when I noticed it disappeared. He told me who it belonged to and that he put it in the closet. I demanded he get rid of it. If we are an item there's no need to have past things unless feelings are still there. He threw it away and put it in the dumpster outside. But because I didn't see him actually throw it in the dumpster, I was in the bedroom but I did here the trash and him go outside, it made me question if he really did it. For all I know he could of grabbed a new trash bag and put it in the trunk of his car. I'm a little scarred from my past relationship with the Taurus. So i feel like in order for me to trust u I need to see things for my own eyes, I need to witness it. We talked about it when he came back and he claims he did so I let it go for the moment. Once I start seeing bad things like that it starts to ruin it for me. I don't look at you the same. I start questioning your behavior.Also something I do in relationships with men I'll try to find out everything before we get intimate so I can question it later. What I mean about that I asked him has he ever made a sex tape he said he had. Sooo I had to mention that to him as well and he claims he "got rid of it" but because I didn't see him do it in front

of me it made me feel like something might not add up. He could have lied. I just need that reassurance from my man. I may be too much but that's what I need I need to see it so I can trust you. On the internet I saw things I fist like. On instagram he was liking pics of girls that he knew in the past and they liking his pics. He swore up and down that he didn't know that was flirting which I thought was a lie. How can u not know? Was I just born? I made him delete his account which he did and he fixed his fb. I just find there's a lot of problems that arise from the internet with couples and I don't even need that so get rid of it. I'm wifey so I'm really not supposed to see these things. All these hoes doing this and that I just did as disrespectful and if you value the relationship all that stuff should not exist and be out in the open like that or secret really. From that point on it's like he was testing me he would do things to set me off. For example if I'm talking to you I find it disrespectful to have headphones in your ears while I'm talking to you. If I have to mention it again it's a problem and he would test me like that and act dumb when I would snatch them out. He's the embarrassed type so he hates fighting in public he clams up. I think especially if your that way then you don't need to act stupid.

My Virgo man now acts very childish and I don't have kids I don't want to deal with that foolery. He does the rushing off the phone because he can't handle talking about problems. How else are problems going to be fixed unless you talk them out. He would rather sweep them under the rug. How big is the rug going to get before something is done? I need to discuss everything so things are resolved so it's not repeated incidents. He's like the post on Virgos hot and cold. I don't understand him still. He acts very secretive and it makes me question him. I like being in a relationship that's completely open no secrets your phone your computer there's nothing to hide. He gets weird and says that's my privacy. I get that but you in a relationship now so in a way all that privacy goes out the window. He doesn't open up. It's like the weirdest relationship I've had with a man. I'm drawn to him because I can see the potential. He's def husband material, he cooks, he's family oriented. The secrecy kills me and makes me think too negatively. And that's exactly what he thinks of me. I'm soo negative, all I do is talk about problems. But if we talked thing

@Clueless cancer
Oh I know I'm too much and at times yes insecure I have No problem admitting that. It's only when I'm in a relationship tho. I just don't understand what I'm dealing with. My last relationship with the Taurus he was so emotionally in tune with me. It was like paradise but he was a cheater and that's when I got soo suspicious of everyone's behavior. That was the beginning of the no trust. That opened my eyes. With this Virgo is a mystery. He says he's faithful and sometimes i feel he's true. But then all the secrecy my demonic thoughts come out and I address it with him and he runs for cover

@ clueless cancer it hasn't been going well lately. He's mad at me all the time. Holding a grudge from way back. It's really ridiculous I want him to get over it so we can move forward. He holds on to every negative experience and uses it against me even if it was him who was wrong. He does no wrong I'm the wrong one all the time. I wouldn't die if we broke up because I always saw it coming we are complete opposites. We don't mesh that well. We have great sex and we chill together very well. I lay on him he rubs me. He's a great cuddlier. There are things I like but the communication sucks. I need that from a man.

And because I'm a fighter, I'll fight for what I'm passionate about, I want to see where this can go. If he would stop being so damn stubborn and stop being so childish. I don't mind working on a relationship. And all he tells me is to stop talking about the problems. But I don't see how that is going to fix anything if I just let it slide. That's stupid. So to me that sounds like he wants me to let him get away with it. He doesn't understand that I'm coming from a good place and I'm working on us. He just gets defensive and comes at me completely wrong. It's like I'm speaking a different language to him and trying to attack him. That's not the case at all. And he's the first military man I've met that is sooo stuck in his ways. It's like come on expand your mind, think outside the box, open up to me, make me understand

@ixion120 i try to work through my insecurities myself but if your in a relationship with someone shouldn't they also be aware and try not to trigger those very things you tell them sparks something in you? He's supposed to be on my team and helping me as we'll not making it worse for me. I can't do it on my own, I need some type of reassurance. Do you think I'm asking too much of him? He shuts down on me. It's like he's not trying to do anything. He's a dead log and Idk what to do to make things better. Because I feel like if I give in to him I'm losing myself. If I just don't discuss things that bothers me he wins. And I'm the woman with no voice and I absolutely hate that when woman settle and let the man run all over her. That's why I try to talk things out so he can see how I feel and want to do better. I'm so used to men being more involved emotionally and he's def. not like that. So I kinda feel like a deer in headlights I don't know what to do, how to approach this, how to make him talk

Posted by Ixion120
There are multiple things amiss in this here relationship.... there are two very important things I would like to start the ball rolling with...

1.) failing to address your insecurity by working towards (and more importantly) correcting those feelings of insecurity within yourself.

and

2.) Massive overreaching on your part and failing to set and abide by healthy boundaries.

+a billion, especially the last part!

Work on you. You either trust or don't! No trust= no relationship.

@Ixion120 I really do overreact! That is one on my problems. If he can handle that I can only reward him for putting up with it. I am a drama queen. I do blow things out of proportion. But I love hard so that's why I need reassurance. I need emotional support. I need certain things because that's what I'll give him in return times 100. I don't want to do all these things for a man who's hiding things from me. That's why I make it so imperative but any relationship does. Are Virgo's lazy? Or is it because I'm being difficult and asking for a lot he doesn't want to do it when I want him to, mb at his pace.

He thinks all the problems I talk about are bs and it pisses him off. That's rude to me. Anything I want to discuss should be important to him as it is to me.

Oh and I'll ask him a question and he'll respond by " I already answered that" it could have been months when I asked him this question and might not relate to anything recently but because he "thinks" he remembers answering the question he will not repeat himself wtf! That really pisses me off, unnecessary argument right there! That's extremely petty. Complete bullbutter... How stubborn and ridiculous

@justagirl
Do you think that trust is earned or you just so willingly give it to people until they prove untrustworthy?

I feel like it should be earned. He should start doing things to earn my trust.

Posted by PiscesGoddess
And because I'm a fighter, I'll fight for what I'm passionate about, I want to see where this can go. If he would stop being so damn stubborn and stop being so childish. I don't mind working on a relationship. And all he tells me is to stop talking about the problems. But I don't see how that is going to fix anything if I just let it slide. That's stupid. So to me that sounds like he wants me to let him get away with it. He doesn't understand that I'm coming from a good place and I'm working on us. He just gets defensive and comes at me completely wrong. It's like I'm speaking a different language to him and trying to attack him. That's not the case at all. And he's the first military man I've met that is sooo stuck in his ways. It's like come on expand your mind, think outside the box, open up to me, make me understand

No offense but this just makes me shake my head. You can't see beyond yourself and are quick to say it's all him . Takes two people for a relationship to function.
It's all "me, me, me" type of actions coming through your own words.. There is no we involved. It's all about you.

Wish you luck and hopefully you might get help but like CC said unless you deal with YOUR insecurities and your issues it's doomed to fail.

And it also seems like it doesn't phase him that I might be cheating. He said to me one time we were arguing " your probably cheating on me" and he shrugged it off like it didn't matter... His first gf was a whore she had a train ran on her and told him about it. Yikes that extremely crazy!!! And he still tried to make it work with her. I don't really understand that but that was his first relationship so I know he must be scarred from that. I left his house he didn't chase after me. He waited 2 hrs and finally calls me and tells me how I abandoned him and I'm going to be like everyone else. I didn't think I abandoned him, he was wrong he did something that made me feel indifferent about our relationship and this was the beginning of our relationship so everything was fresh and new still. I thought I was right for leaving it was either that or attack him so I left and I wanted him to "show me" he cared by running after me and telling me not to go but he didn't and that was heartbreaking. I later told him I wish he would have ran after me. Guys can't read mines.
Mb he's scarred too so he doesn't care if I stay or go. He plays it off like it doesn't matter and it's believable. That's the games he plays, like nothing bothers him. Emotionless

I want him to express that he cares more. He may think he's showing me but I don't see it. It's like we're in kindergarten and he's the boy that pushed me off the swing but he loves me. How am I supposed to know he loves me, he just hurt me _—

Posted by PiscesGoddess
@justagirl
Do you think that trust is earned or you just so willingly give it to people until they prove untrustworthy?

I feel like it should be earned. He should start doing things to earn my trust.

I do not trust easily or readily. It's a mixture of both earned and given. I watch and see how someone is, i can detect bullshit usually from a mile away. 😉

I have had bad experiences in relationships, who hasn't. I have been cheated on. You have some work to do. I do my best to not bring my past or baggage over into a new realationship. You can't hold your current partner hostage or accountable for things another man did.

@justagirl that's how we are he'll say me me me and I say me me me and nothing gets fixed
He doesn't want to see where I'm coming from and since he's being difficult I'll be difficult to
Even tho two wrong makes no right
It's exhausted that he doesn't care when he's upset and after awhile of trying to be nice I just say f*** it

I like to be spoiled so yes me me me lol

I just want him to take the lead. Tell me how you want this relationship to be, what you want to accomplish and I will be a student doing all her extra credit. If I just see some effort I will be sold. I just don't want to do these things for nothing and mb he feels the exact same way that's why nothing is changing! _—

It's like kanye west- the blame game

@justagirl
True I can't hold him accountable for my past but my eyes are open so when I see a pattern that resembles a past experience I will approach him about it and tell him that " I've been down this road and this is what happened and I don't want to experience that again so u need to straighten up"

Oh mother of a monkey - I'm so glad the Virgo in my life doesn't subscribe to this kind of drama. You both are playing games, Goddess. You say you are complete opposites and in so many words have admitted you don't see a future with him, so why do that to him? Better yet, why are you doing this to you? If you are so insecure, look inside yourself to see what you can do alleviate or reduce your insecurity. If you think he's a cheater just because of what has happened to you in the past, then you are going to create a self fulfilling prophecy that only you can blame yourself for. It sounds like both you enjoy the drama. That would completely drain me.

I think he thinks I'm too aggressive! And mb he can't handle me. He says I'm disrespectful. I have a mouth on me I admit. I only use it when provoked. Idk mb that's a east coast thing/ jersey thing. He's a southern boy from tx. jersey girls we are a little out there.. I didn't know if it was because he's a Virgo or because of the military it's like he has a stick up his a** and I just want to loosen him up, make him have more fun! Don't be so uptight. Why so serious lol

Posted by PiscesGoddess
@justagirl
True I can't hold him accountable for my past but my eyes are open so when I see a pattern that resembles a past experience I will approach him about it and tell him that " I've been down this road and this is what happened and I don't want to experience that again so u need to straighten up"

Again you are saying it's his fault that you don't trust him, he better straighten up. Do you not see how flawed that is? Too saying, when you point a finger at someone else there are three pointing back at you. I agree with what Houstonpeach said, playing games to the extreme. Maybe you don't see that you are?

@houstonpeach74 I can see a future with him but when he pushes me away they way he does it just puts me in a mental to get ready for the worst

There is a saying* not Too saying.

@justagirl I never looked at it like that before!! See that's why I had to post. You guys are opening my eyes to my bs.

So if I have a problem that's a red flag to me how do you guys think I should approach it?

Because I honestly thought I was approaching it the best way possible. I thought he was wrong for doing the things that triggered the thoughts. I thought I was handling it maturely and he not so much. Wow!

U can kinda argue this both ways
My thinking : he did something to cause me to not trust him. it's his fault for doing what he did if he knew better

Your thinking: how is it "his fault" that "I" do not trust him?

Make me understand your thinking! I wanna know how I'm f***ing up

@Ixion120
I believe that communication is definitely key! Without communication you have nothing. I feel he gives me a hard time. Like he's fighting against the relationship idk. I think People on the post think I'm a trouble maker in my relationship, but I'm just so passionate I have to speak my mind. And I want my partner to respect u thoughts. Thing is I can't dissect him. He's like this puzzle I can't crack. I stress to him I need to know how he feels.... Nothing. He now responds to me like this every time I ask him something, "I don't know". Clearly you have an opinion or answer to my question but he just shuts down and that starts to piss me off. Like I'm making an attempt to fix the relationship and your just behaving like an a**hole, for what?! What satisfaction does he get out of it. I'm not happy when he acts like this I want to be able to communicate with my other.

@Ixion120
I value his feelings but sometimes I think what comes out of his mouth comes across as either rude or selfish. I know I have selfish ways about me but in relationships I think about my partner more than I think of myself.(well in the past it was def. like that) With my Virgo it's like I want to show him all the love I can express but sometimes I feel like he doesn't deserve it. He's being a d***head why do I need to be good to that? Why do I have to kiss his a**? If he knew any better he would know when your woman's happy your happy because I will do anything in my power to please you because you bend over backwards for me so I will go hard for you. I told him that and he just listens to me, he doesn't express his feelings on what was said. He just absorbs it and that's it. I'll ask him questions and he says to me "idk I don't have an answer for that I'll hve to think about it".. Ok then think about it now and give me a response don't just push it to the side I'm trying to have a conversation with you _—. It's exhausting for me that my brain is not stimulated. He's not making me feel fluffy inside. It's like I'm in a relationship with a mute. I understand your not good at emotions and opening up but attempt, let's talk that out so we can get some progression. I don't like that were at this standstill.

@Ixion120
have no problem compromising but he will not meet me half way. he wants me to give in to him but won't give in to me.
I do have a problem with the privacy thing. Because of past experience It just makes me nervous and I don't want to be lied to. I turn into a private investigator. And I could get extreme with it. I know I have a problem with that I do!!
Healthy boundaries
I don't mind if he does go out with his boys I just want him to check in. Make me feel like I matter no matter what your doing. Just let me know what's going on. If your leaving the bar or someone's house I would like to know. Tell me when you get home and how you got home if your drinking. I'm a concerned gf I wanna make sure your ok.
Back in March he was deployed to tx and I'm in jersey so were long distance so I need him to be extra. I need more communication, more of everything considering I can't drive to see him. Our relationship has been flights and talking on the phone. It's hard. This summer was hard he would go out and not communicate with me until the next day. It was always an excuse. So that triggered my cheating mode to an ultimate high. He seems like he's not the cheating type, he's very reserved, kinda to himself, homebody man. He has a set schedule everyday. He's a gym rat so he's always at the gym after work. Like he's kinda predictable but u still never know. Military men be having kids all over the world and you'll never know. (When I first met him we talked about that) He said that would never happen he would marry the person having his kids. So I felt relieved.

@Ixion120

I like to make things exciting but because of his negativity towards me it makes me not want to bless him with all the things I can do.

I've grown up in a yelling environment and he has to.. But he expressed to me that growing up when his mother would yell he would just ignore her so when my voice raises he ignores me. Sometimes that's just how I talk to express myself my tone changes but I'm excited about the topic and I want him to understand and he gets mad because to him all he can hear is loud words and he's not getting the msg.
Unhealthy behavior
I can explode on people and I have disrespected him with my words. I can dig deep and say hurtful things. I even might threaten you. When I did that he laughed it off like it was a joke and said he might continue to mess things up on purpose just so I can come see him. ( I threatened to attack him) Now I approach him about my feeling I'll ask him are you cheating and he says to me "we already talked about this I told you no. Your pissing me off that you keep asking me these things. I'm done talking" completely shuts down.

@Ixion120
I overly stress out if I have a problem I need to address it at that moment. I cannot wait it eats away at me if I do. There's no hiding my feeling anyone can see it written all over my face. I need him to be supportive and understanding. I recommended we read The Conversation by Hill Harper. Which I've read before and made notes. (good read on relationships, male and female perspectives) He made an effort and bought the book and we together read 2 pages and we got into a disagreement.. I'm trying to make this work and he's giving me a hard time. I told him my opinion about the first pages we read and he said that's not true he disagreed with everything I said, not trying to meet me half way. Idk why he couldn't let me get out my how I felt, express how he felt about the read, then we discuss why we think differently. He gets so negative about the dumbest things. It's kinda like he twists my words. Idk what to do with this Virgo man of mine. Today I get the silent treatment because yesterday I was discussing something he didn't want to talk about. _— it's like get over yourself, just be a good boyfriend stop this foolery

Posted by PiscesGoddess
@justagirl I never looked at it like that before!! See that's why I had to post. You guys are opening my eyes to my bs.

So if I have a problem that's a red flag to me how do you guys think I should approach it?

Because I honestly thought I was approaching it the best way possible. I thought he was wrong for doing the things that triggered the thoughts. I thought I was handling it maturely and he not so much. Wow!

U can kinda argue this both ways
My thinking : he did something to cause me to not trust him. it's his fault for doing what he did if he knew better

Your thinking: how is it "his fault" that "I" do not trust him?

Make me understand your thinking! I wanna know how I'm f***ing up

What did he do? You said right off the bat you don't trust, he has to earn it. You are expecting him to fail, you are looking for lies and deceit that isn't there. Btw big turn off to Virgo's, not trusting in him and accusing him of that type of behavior..You said there was a robe and you didn't trust he threw it away, I actually think it was very manipulative that you asked him to do that, but that's my opinion. You said he should know your triggers and not do those things, again you are trying to manipulate him into doing what you want or responding to you in your way. As well as expect him to read your mind. They are your triggers, as in you, fix them/work on them and its a non issue, right?

Of course he's acting childish as you stated, he's FED up. Wouldn't you be? I dated someone that was constantly accusing me of cheating and guess what..I left him because it got unbearable to a fight a battle that I didn't want, need or have the energy for anymore, irony, he was the cheater and I was trying to work through it and stay with him.. You are pushing this Virgo out the door and don't even realize it.

Bottom line it's simple and was in my first post. If you have no trust because you can't trust because of your past. It doesn't matter if it's this guy or the next or the next, it will be an issue every time until you work on you. No trust = no relationship, period.

Read that article he linked for you above. Good stuff in it.

@justagirl
If you see a robe that's the start of it. So I had to address it. Why would he keep it? Why would I be ok with him having that around? It's a reminder of someone who no longer exist to him. Supposedly..
What was I supposed to do let him keep it? Then he'll think if I let that slide what else will I let slide. U understand what I mean? Like I feel since I wouldn't do that s*** to you don't do it to me. I think about my mans feelings if I see something he may not like I get rid of it because I don't want him to feel a certain way.


I admit I look for s***
If I find nothing I'm satisfied

And I'm saying u should know my triggers, what I like and dislike, what would piss me off. And if you do then don't do anything you know I wouldn't like. It's respect.

Oh I read the website and I commented on the topics. I just mainly think we need to discuss things together as a couple but he isn't even trying to hear anything. He's annoyed that all I wanna talk about is problems and how to fix them. Because clearly to him that's not the way it works.

I would be annoyed if he accused me of cheating repeatedly BUT I would REASSURE HIM that I wasn't. I would show him, make him feel secure so he wouldn't keep mentioning it.

@justagirl
Main thing with trust if your consistent with me I wouldn't have to question a thing period! Because all your actions all your words speak for itself and there will be absolutely no reason to doubt.
He's not being consistent and when I put him on the spot he can't handle it. He can't handle me criticizing him but he can dissect me and all the things I do. Everything's one sided

@justagirl
I can trust I just need consistency you have to feel me on that! All woman need that it's like a requirement

Virgo military man that's hot! ; )

In all seriousness, PiscesGoddess you do seem to overreact a bit. But I agree with the following:

- If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to hide. That's why I put all my cards on the table from the start and just say how I really am and what circumstances have really had for me. Then, the guy knows what he's getting. Whether it's too much for him to handle is his call. I'm not afraid to show what's in my purse, in my phone, or what I look at on the computer, especially since it's all pretty boring anyway lol!!

and

- Keeping a robe that belonged to another girl is creepy. I wouldn't want him holding onto it either.

@Erika1
Plus I'm very territorial so when I saw that robe i was livid! If I don't love you anymore if there's no ties between us best believe I will not have any of your things. Granted he said he didn't know it was behind the door but when he found out that it was why did he put it in the closet? Are you saving it for her later? That's the stuff that causes me to question your loyalty. But I'm wrong for being confrontational I'm wrong for feeling disrespected... I think not!! But he would flip it on me somehow not with this topic about the robe but anything I have a problem with. Like I'm supposed to just let him walk all over me and have no opinion. He talks to me sometimes like a child like he has authority over me idk if that's the military in him or what but that is annoying as well.

@erika1 but the military Virgo man is hot mm mmm mm

Just wish he was emotionally available. He needs to open up to me more. Considering how long we've been talking you would think we could hold a conversation smh... I don't really know how to get thru to him

@Ixion120 I agree with you! You are very knowledgable thank you for the site too!!! I can add that with everything else... I need him to read that as well as the book. Have you read the conversation? It's like every topic is covered in it and he has it. I just need to get him to reading it. Sometimes I feel like i come on too strong and he takes it as being negative. I think he should have a sit down with an older man in his family or someone close so they can definitely school him. It's like he's never been in a relationship before. Like he doesn't know how to deal with me. When things are good it's ok he still holds grudges when things are good but it's not that bad but when things are bad it's like he doesn't want to be in a relationship. Like he only wants to be around when it's benefiting him, when it's good. I want him to fight for me. Show me I'm important and that you don't want to lose me.

@Ixion120
Today he's not talking to me lol I get the silent treatment like were children smh... So I sent him a pic of this poem and I hope he reflects and really thinks about the relationship it's from "robhillsr " you should look him up! He knows all the right things to say

I am sick and tired of women and all this new age goddess bullshit...

...who then turn around and are a pile of insecurities.

Most women are.. but for deities, it's double apparently.

Personally I don't care what item's as man has that may have been an ex's. She's an ex for a reason. your ending on that speaks volumes btw.."It's a reminder of someone who no longer exist to him. Supposedly.." It sounds like perhaps there is more to this than just a robe.

/shrug you ever see that episode on how I meet your mother? where Ted has to get rid of anything an ex gave him? if not, maybe watch it. It's controlling behavior to ask that of someone in my opinion.

I'm not here to dissect you or what you have shared and not shared. I gave my opinion/made a few suggestions on perhaps working on you and keeping stuff about you that's all. you can take it or leave it.

I get what you are saying about respect, flip side is giving it as well, thinking there is lies and deceit is not showing respect, at least to me it doesn't.

Those in my life have mine and I have theirs. You got to give it to receive it though.

It sounds like you want more communication and he isn't giving it. But you also mentioned that he isn't emotionally available. why be with him then? something to think about.

@justagirl
No There's nothing else going on about the robe situation I was just stating that mb there was some significance to him putting it in the closet. Like he was holding onto something.. That makes me feel like something at the moment was lingering..

When I'm in a relationship I try to make it work. I'm willing to try different things. I don't wanna just quit on something that could actually be great. With a little patience I guess and I have no patience at all so I have to work on that as well.

Mb I should watch that.

I am a bit controlling I try to work on that sometimes it gets the best of me

I appreciate your opinions and suggestions

@damnata
Don't like it that's tough continue to be sick n tired 🙂

@justagirl
It's a silk robe.. The silk robes I wear to cover my lingerie. So that's the level I was taking that. Like if you went in your boyfriends room and saw his ex's bra.. Why is it there? Get rid of it before I snap... That's just me. That's a turn off. If I'm here I don't want to see any of that you better lock it up somewhere.

Posted by Damnata
I am sick and tired of women and all this new age goddess bullshit...

...who then turn around and are a pile of insecurities.

Most women are.. but for deities, it's double apparently.

Right. Some just can't see it for what it is. 🙂

i think you need to smoke a fat blunt and chillax

seems like you are trying change someone who is apathetic into someone they arent

Why keep doing this? When it obvious it not going to work out and is not healthy to you

Wow @ snatching his earphones off. This sounds like a mother/child relationship & not like a relationship between two adults. IDK how he is keeping up with this...you sound very controlling imo. You want him to read stuff he doesn't want to read, you want him to give you an opinion when he tells you he has none, you want him to have a sit with an uncle to be taught about relationships. You want, you want. This is not a child but a grown man, no wonder he doesn't take you seriously. It's like you're trying to change him into your ideal man. He is not a puppy to be taught new tricks. Plus grown people don't change unless THEY want to, so accept him as he is or find yourself a man who'll do a military attention salute when you speak. This is unbelievable. So much mistreatment & he tolerates it. Wow.

jesusfuckingchrist

He probably got down on his knees and thanked god for transferring him to Texas, so he could get away from your naggy ass.

Here's a typical scenario with my Virgo husband of over 3 decades when I know there's something we need to discuss:

Me: Hey, Babe .. you alright?
Him: Yeah.
Me: You wanna talk? We need to talk.
Him: I know
Me: Ok, when you're ready, I'll be in my office

*** kiss him on his forehead and proceed to office, and log into dxp ***

Him: *** knock, knock on door a couple hours later ***
Me: Hey ... what's up?
Him: Can we talk now?




It's that easy.

But, you put so much fucking pressure on him to jump to YOUR demands ... that the thing he has time for processing is how to get away from you.

YOu need to fucking check yourself

Everyone seems to be pointing at the OP for her "insecurities and trust issues".

Listen here PG,

I am not saying that you should go home and break up with the guy. However, you have listed some concerns which are valid in IMO. They should not be ignored.

Keeping a robe from a past relationship
Instagram flirting
Exes calling on the phone
Headphones in his ear while you are trying to talk to him
He answers questions with I will not repeat myself

Maybe you do have some internal issues going on but I will say this...you know something is not right with your Virgo. It may be small. It may not be. I copied this from Web Md which I consider to be a reputable site.

Just like the brain, there are neurotransmitters in the gut that can respond to environmental stimuli and emotions in the now -- it's not just about past experiences," she says. When those neurotransmitters fire, you may feel the sensation of "butterflies" or uneasiness in your stomach. Researchers theorize that "gut instinct," which sends signals to your brain, plays a large role in intuition.

If you made a thread about your Virgo cheated on you, these same people would ask you if there were any signs because there had to be something. You would then list the same signs you have listed and it would be "so you knew" "so you ignored what was right in front of you??.

I don't have the answers but I will say that it is not all your fault. It sounds like the 2 of you have some issues. By the time you need to resort to asking strangers on the Internet for advice, the relationship is pretty much a wrap.

Nobody has addressed the military aspect of this. If you're going to be in a relationship with someone in the military, you need to realize that his commitments are not just to his family and friends, but his country. He has enough strict control he has to adhere to in the military that he doesn't need you or someone like you to control or nitpick over things that you may or may not like. He's a grown man, the country trusts him to protect our assets and even gives him authority to use a gun.


One of your quotes: —I've grown up in a yelling environment and he has to.. But he expressed to me that growing up when his mother would yell he would just ignore her so when my voice raises he ignores me. Sometimes that's just how I talk to express myself my tone changes but I'm excited about the topic and I want him to understand and he gets mad because to him all he can hear is loud words and he's not getting the msg.
Unhealthy behavior
I can explode on people and I have disrespected him with my words. I can dig deep and say hurtful things. I even might threaten you.??

He expressed to you that he shuts down when someone yells because of how his mom was. Take that as a sign that you are reminding him of his upbringing, a negative memory at that!

Another question for you: how often do you see him now? Is your relationship strictly over the phone, email, and text? I think it's time you move on - your relationship with him is toxic and unfortunately, it appears that you made it that way.