sweat.lioness
@sweat.lioness
16 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 505 · Topics: 39
Virgo's Conditional Love (Page 2)
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Posted by CajunspiritPosted by sweat.lioness
To fall inlove WITH someone you have to feel loved by them as well right? People change, maybe they quit smoking or popping their gum and become a better person. Maybe they don't change. However, you can love them anyway for who they are, move on with your life and fall inlove with someone else. Usually you meet someone, fall inlove, and go by the way they embody all the conditions that I have been looking for. Not the other way around. lol
So you have no problem loving and taking care of someone, who is intentionally killing themselves and would do nothing to stop them?
Is that really love?click to expand
I think I see your point -- especially the 'intentionally' killing themselves part.
What you are saying is like, someone who knows something is down right terrible and bad for them ... but they keep doing it. No matter what you do and say, they just keep doing. No matter how much you help them ... they just keep doing it.
Its like a crazy web of self-destruction and the person involved expects you to deal with it -- almost like that person takes you for granted because he or she is aware of the fact that you will always be there.
I don't like that one bit you know.
If I'm trying to help and you keep on doing, why am I doing this for you in the first place?
See, I can totally continue giving advice to someone -- because they are just words. However, if my actions that I take to help someone are just being taken for granted, then I see no point in wasting my energy.
I can totally run my mouth and give someone and opinion, that takes no energy at all for me, so I don't mind doing it ^_^. However, if it involves me actually doing something and then that person turns and does the same exact thing again -- something that I worked hard to help them fix -- oh yeah, I'd be ticked off.
If I'm trying to help and you keep on doing, why am I doing this for you in the first place?
See, I can totally continue giving advice to someone -- because they are just words. However, if my actions that I take to help someone are just being taken for granted, then I see no point in wasting my energy.
I can totally run my mouth and give someone and opinion, that takes no energy at all for me, so I don't mind doing it ^_^. However, if it involves me actually doing something and then that person turns and does the same exact thing again -- something that I worked hard to help them fix -- oh yeah, I'd be ticked off.
Posted by sweat.lioness
So you have no problem loving and taking care of someone, who is intentionally killing themselves and would do nothing to stop them?
Is that really love?
Well that question really applies to everyone right? I mean there are very few people who aren't "killing themselves" every day with simple things. For instance, the obese kill themselves clogging their arteries and eating their lives away. Do pleasantly plump people not deserved to be loved as well? All these people need to do is get some gosh darn excersize and realize how truely beautiful they really are. That is REAL love. It is not love to dismiss someone or tell them that they aren't good enough for you because of the things they do. The leading cause of obesity, cigarette smoking, drinking, all these "bad" things are depression and stress. The people in the world who don't show their love and care for these people are the kind of people who make them go out and buy another pack of cigarettes. Sometimes it takes another person to show you your true beauty.
1. You did not answer the question.
2. I never said stop loving them.
3. I do encourage people to get out of the "toilet"
4. All of these bad things are selfish and signs of weakness
5. Cappiesweetie put it best.
Posted by cappysweetie
I think I see your point -- especially the 'intentionally' killing themselves part.
What you are saying is like, someone who knows something is down right terrible and bad for them ... but they keep doing it. No matter what you do and say, they just keep doing. No matter how much you help them ... they just keep doing it.
Its like a crazy web of self-destruction and the person involved expects you to deal with it -- almost like that person takes you for granted because he or she is aware of the fact that you will always be there.
click to expand
Posted by CajunspiritPosted by sweat.lioness
So you have no problem loving and taking care of someone, who is intentionally killing themselves and would do nothing to stop them?
Is that really love?
Well that question really applies to everyone right? I mean there are very few people who aren't "killing themselves" every day with simple things. For instance, the obese kill themselves clogging their arteries and eating their lives away. Do pleasantly plump people not deserved to be loved as well? All these people need to do is get some gosh darn excersize and realize how truely beautiful they really are. That is REAL love. It is not love to dismiss someone or tell them that they aren't good enough for you because of the things they do. The leading cause of obesity, cigarette smoking, drinking, all these "bad" things are depression and stress. The people in the world who don't show their love and care for these people are the kind of people who make them go out and buy another pack of cigarettes. Sometimes it takes another person to show you your true beauty.
1. You did not answer the question.
2. I never said stop loving them.
3. I do encourage people to get out of the "toilet"
4. All of these bad things are selfish and signs of weakness
5. Cappiesweetie put it best.
Posted by cappysweetie
I think I see your point -- especially the 'intentionally' killing themselves part.
What you are saying is like, someone who knows something is down right terrible and bad for them ... but they keep doing it. No matter what you do and say, they just keep doing. No matter how much you help them ... they just keep doing it.
Its like a crazy web of self-destruction and the person involved expects you to deal with it -- almost like that person takes you for granted because he or she is aware of the fact that you will always be there.
click to expand
I did answer the question. You asked if I would do nothing to stop them. I wrote people need support, your support is enough to help stop someone. Cappiesweetie seems very intelligent, nice and caring but unfortunately you aren't supporting someone telling them they are wrong and givi
I did answer the question. You asked if I would do nothing to stop them. I wrote people need support, your support is enough to help stop someone. Cappiesweetie seems very intelligent, nice and caring but unfortunately you aren't supporting someone telling them they are wrong and giving up on them for not seeing things your way. I wrote that basically and unfortunately in this world the problem is NOONE sees things in ANYONE's way because we are all "individuals". It's a difficult task that takes work...and energy. That's why trainers/counselors get paid to work at rehab centers or Lucille Roberts because it takes time. "Precious time". I know, time is valuable to earth signs. I have a Cappie father and if I get a 95 on a test instead of saying you'll get 100 next time he tells me that he can't believe I did not get those extra 5 points, he is disappointed, he can do better than that and that I didn't try enough. I should have took the time like he would have, and there is no time in the future to change anything because the past is done. While I can take constructive criticism after year of it (having Virgo and Cap parents) other people might not see it as tough love. It's support and the way you give the support. People need to see a future not a dead end from the past.
(contin. I know I ramble...::sigh:🙂
Remember the golden rule, do you feel at times that you are alone in your struggle with noone there to support you? Well other people feel the same so it's not necessarily right to say that they if they don't change straight away then middle finger them so you can "regain" your energy. A lot of people relapse, you aren't going to find someone saying "hey I'm going to quit smoking after 10 years" and then not have them complain that they want a cigarette in 3 days. Just like you'll probably find someone who is overweight go on a diet and hide a chocolate bar in their cabinet. The will power to resist the chocolate bar or cigarette comes from the self but it also comes from others sitting there watching them eat it or smoke it and asking them "After all that time, all that accomplishment, was it really worth it?" Then giving them the benefit of the doubt and a pat on the back when they really decide to come clean and change their life. Remember the best compliment to someone losing weight is to tell them how good they look. The best compliment for a cigarette smoker is to tell them how great they've been doing whether they've quit completely or they went from 5 packs to 1 cigarette a week. Then you could tell them "wow it looks like you are ready to stop smoking completely." No one really wants to die of lung cancer and go through chemotherapy, they might think they do but at the end when they are in the hospital they think "what was I thinking?". All that's left for them are the people who gave up on supporting them pointing their fingers going "I told you so." If you really loved them why'd you let them die? Oh I forgot, your energy. lol
Remember the golden rule, do you feel at times that you are alone in your struggle with noone there to support you? Well other people feel the same so it's not necessarily right to say that they if they don't change straight away then middle finger them so you can "regain" your energy. A lot of people relapse, you aren't going to find someone saying "hey I'm going to quit smoking after 10 years" and then not have them complain that they want a cigarette in 3 days. Just like you'll probably find someone who is overweight go on a diet and hide a chocolate bar in their cabinet. The will power to resist the chocolate bar or cigarette comes from the self but it also comes from others sitting there watching them eat it or smoke it and asking them "After all that time, all that accomplishment, was it really worth it?" Then giving them the benefit of the doubt and a pat on the back when they really decide to come clean and change their life. Remember the best compliment to someone losing weight is to tell them how good they look. The best compliment for a cigarette smoker is to tell them how great they've been doing whether they've quit completely or they went from 5 packs to 1 cigarette a week. Then you could tell them "wow it looks like you are ready to stop smoking completely." No one really wants to die of lung cancer and go through chemotherapy, they might think they do but at the end when they are in the hospital they think "what was I thinking?". All that's left for them are the people who gave up on supporting them pointing their fingers going "I told you so." If you really loved them why'd you let them die? Oh I forgot, your energy. lol
Posted by sweat.lioness
I did answer the question. You asked if I would do nothing to stop them. I wrote people need support, your support is enough to help stop someone.
Maybe I need to spell it out for you some more.
Would you unconditionally love someone who smokes and drinks waaay too much?
What do you do when they make no effort to quit?
How can you allow someone you love to kill themselves?
but unfortunately you aren't supporting someone telling them they are wrong and giving up on them for not seeing things your way. I wrote that basically and unfortunately in this world the problem is NOONE sees things in ANYONE's way because we are all "individuals".
It's support and the way you give the support. People need to see a future not a dead end from the past.
I must say, this is a very enlightening perspective.
I can't wrong you for it but I can not see past things I view is intolerable and completely wrong.
It fosters great anger in me.
Posted by sweat.lioness
Well other people feel the same so it's not necessarily right to say that they if they don't change straight away then middle finger them so you can "regain" your energy.
Remember the best compliment to someone losing weight is to tell them how good they look. The best compliment for a cigarette smoker is to tell them how great they've been doing whether they've quit completely or they went from 5 packs to 1 cigarette a week. Then you could tell them "wow it looks like you are ready to stop smoking completely." No one really wants to die of lung cancer and go through chemotherapy, they might think they do but at the end when they are in the hospital they think "what was I thinking?".
Really... I could never have pictured it like this before.
All that's left for them are the people who gave up on supporting them pointing their fingers going "I told you so." If you really loved them why'd you let them die?
Well look at my situation. I was lied to.
I would have never gotten into this relationship if I knew she was a smoker.
Thank you for this. It really is a great eye opener for me.
You have my sincerest gratitude.
Oh I forgot, your energy. lolclick to expand
What is this supposed to mean?
Would you unconditionally love someone who smokes and drinks waaay too much? Yes
What do you do when they make no effort to quit? Support them while letting them know how it makes you feel.
How can you allow someone you love to kill themselves? You don't.
I'm going to let you in on a little personal info. I used to smoke and drink way too much. Not everyday...well smoking I did do everyday...haha but I didn't drink everyday. My boyfriend (the virgo) hated that I smoked or drank. The fact that I wasn't an alcoholic didn't matter to him, what mattered to him was that I got **it faced when he was around. He hated that I smoked, I lied to him. I didn't necessarily know I was lying because I didn't know that he would stress me out about smoking when I was not smoking and make me want to smoke even more. I am not a psychic.So I told him I quit and then I relapsed. I finally realized that he wasn't trying to insult me or "out to get me" but that he wanted the best for me, because he loved me. He does not care if his friends do any of these things he cares if I do. He supports me. He didn't say you went back to smoking, so goodbye! He stuck through it. He also realized that telling me that I'm a "smoker" was just turning me into...A SMOKER...haha. I changed because I wanted to change I don't want to look sloppy or stink or die. He made me see this by saying he liked me more for who I actually was without smoking and drinking than what I was becoming. He supported me and gave me that extra "umph" I needed combined with my will to change. I didn't change because of him, but he sure did help. I see like this change everyday, and I see people who don't get support ( whether is familial or friends) whom stay stuck where they are.
What do you do when they make no effort to quit? Support them while letting them know how it makes you feel.
How can you allow someone you love to kill themselves? You don't.
I'm going to let you in on a little personal info. I used to smoke and drink way too much. Not everyday...well smoking I did do everyday...haha but I didn't drink everyday. My boyfriend (the virgo) hated that I smoked or drank. The fact that I wasn't an alcoholic didn't matter to him, what mattered to him was that I got **it faced when he was around. He hated that I smoked, I lied to him. I didn't necessarily know I was lying because I didn't know that he would stress me out about smoking when I was not smoking and make me want to smoke even more. I am not a psychic.So I told him I quit and then I relapsed. I finally realized that he wasn't trying to insult me or "out to get me" but that he wanted the best for me, because he loved me. He does not care if his friends do any of these things he cares if I do. He supports me. He didn't say you went back to smoking, so goodbye! He stuck through it. He also realized that telling me that I'm a "smoker" was just turning me into...A SMOKER...haha. I changed because I wanted to change I don't want to look sloppy or stink or die. He made me see this by saying he liked me more for who I actually was without smoking and drinking than what I was becoming. He supported me and gave me that extra "umph" I needed combined with my will to change. I didn't change because of him, but he sure did help. I see like this change everyday, and I see people who don't get support ( whether is familial or friends) whom stay stuck where they are.
* I see people like this change everyday, and I see people who don't get support ( whether is familial or friends) whom stay stuck where they are.
People live in their own worlds they can't see things from your eyes or point of view however frustrated you may become. They need help to see exactly everyone else may be seeing.
People live in their own worlds they can't see things from your eyes or point of view however frustrated you may become. They need help to see exactly everyone else may be seeing.
Posted by sweat.lioness
My boyfriend (the virgo) hated that I smoked or drank. The fact that I wasn't an alcoholic didn't matter to him, what mattered to him was that I got **it faced when he was around. He hated that I smoked, I lied to him. I didn't necessarily know I was lying because I didn't know that he would stress me out about smoking when I was not smoking and make me want to smoke even more. I am not a psychic.So I told him I quit and then I relapsed. I finally realized that he wasn't trying to insult me or "out to get me" but that he wanted the best for me, because he loved me. He does not care if his friends do any of these things he cares if I do. He supports me. He didn't say you went back to smoking, so goodbye! He stuck through it. He also realized that telling me that I'm a "smoker" was just turning me into...A SMOKER...haha. I changed because I wanted to change I don't want to look sloppy or stink or die. He made me see this by saying he liked me more for who I actually was without smoking and drinking than what I was becoming. He supported me and gave me that extra "umph" I needed combined with my will to change. I didn't change because of him, but he sure did help. I see like this change everyday, and I see people who don't get support ( whether is familial or friends) whom stay stuck where they are.
Again I must laud your previous posts, they have proved most insightful.
This is exactly the situation I am going through. I loathe smoking.
Whenever my girlfriend does it, my heart drops, I instantaneously feel depressed and alone.
This support thing... could you elaborate on it more please?
She is a Sag... so I have my work cut out for me.
Posted by sortilege85
I hate to be cynical canjun, but what you VALUE will not always be appreciated by those whom you come to trust and love. It's the honest truth.
Just keep that in mind...
I know man, but it's just in me to be naive.
To believe that everyone would want to live healthy and decent lives.
Cajun- Support as in telling her how much you value her when she is not smoking. How wonderful it is so smell her natural scent, how radiant her skin looks, how confidient she seems. You can also tell her how much you appreciate her when she is not smoking, yet how you can just tell that she is still smoking when she says she isn't. Don't emphasize on the fact that she smokes, or that she a smoker, stigmitizing her and setting her in the fixed place of being someone that in unchangable. If she smokes less let her know how great she's been doing, and how she should continue to quit. Listen to her when she complains about wanting another cigarette and encourage her not to (by routing her on instead of rolling your eyes.) Tell her how concerned you are, because you hear it her voice or the wheezing in her breathe. Tell her you don't want to lose her, that you feel you already are. Tell her how you feel...that you would really be and need to be with someone who doesn't smoke. Let her know that you know she can change, that simply by "lying" she seems ashamed so that you know in a small way she may even want that change. If that doesn't work, after giving her your support (encouraging her/telling her you know she can do it/ telling her how beauitful/confident she is without being dependent on cigarettes-basically how she doesn't NEED it) then just give her some space and time to think about it on her own. After giving her some time see what she comes up with. Don't forget to let her know you are still there for her and still care.
Posted by sweat.lioness
Cajun- Support as in telling her how much you value her when she is not smoking. How wonderful it is so smell her natural scent, how radiant her skin looks, how confidient she seems. You can also tell her how much you appreciate her when she is not smoking, yet how you can just tell that she is still smoking when she says she isn't. Don't emphasize on the fact that she smokes, or that she a smoker, stigmitizing her and setting her in the fixed place of being someone that in unchangable. If she smokes less let her know how great she's been doing, and how she should continue to quit.
She smokes when I "piss her off" or her parents.
I have done all of these things save for the "way of supporting" you mentioned. It just makes me so furiously angry, smoking.
Posted by sweat.lioness
Would you unconditionally love someone who smokes and drinks waaay too much? Yes
What do you do when they make no effort to quit? Support them while letting them know how it makes you feel.
How can you allow someone you love to kill themselves? You don't.
I'm going to let you in on a little personal info. I used to smoke and drink way too much. Not everyday...well smoking I did do everyday...haha but I didn't drink everyday. My boyfriend (the virgo) hated that I smoked or drank. The fact that I wasn't an alcoholic didn't matter to him, what mattered to him was that I got **it faced when he was around. He hated that I smoked, I lied to him. I didn't necessarily know I was lying because I didn't know that he would stress me out about smoking when I was not smoking and make me want to smoke even more. I am not a psychic.So I told him I quit and then I relapsed. I finally realized that he wasn't trying to insult me or "out to get me" but that he wanted the best for me, because he loved me. He does not care if his friends do any of these things he cares if I do. He supports me. He didn't say you went back to smoking, so goodbye! He stuck through it. He also realized that telling me that I'm a "smoker" was just turning me into...A SMOKER...haha. I changed because I wanted to change I don't want to look sloppy or stink or die. He made me see this by saying he liked me more for who I actually was without smoking and drinking than what I was becoming. He supported me and gave me that extra "umph" I needed combined with my will to change. I didn't change because of him, but he sure did help. I see like this change everyday, and I see people who don't get support ( whether is familial or friends) whom stay stuck where they are.
Hi Sweat.lioness 🙂 Hi ^_^.
Well, like I said before -- some people are willing to put up with certain things and others aren't. After trying over and over and over and over again with someone you care about they keep doing the same thing just 'because they can'. That's enough to annoy someone like me but somebody else can probably put up with it.
As for myself, I simply can't do it.
Posted by tuscan_sun
Ok, how about we just put those that smokes in isolation. They don't deserve to be unconditionally love, selfish habits. Let them die.
hahahahaha .... no one is saying that no one with bad habits need love. If that were the case, then no one on the planet needs love ^_^.
However, its NOT okay to drag others down with you. If you know you have a problem, take care of it or at least let others (the person you love, family or whatever) help you.
Don't just reside yourself to a self-defeating state of I will never be able to stop 'this' or 'that'.
Posted by tuscan_sun
Well what if one who's a smoker, doesn't feel that way- defeated. They just like to do it. It helps them to keep calm, just like one needs to have caffeine every morning.
Well, now you see. That's a different story all together. However, if the person you are with doesn't like any habit you have, they have the option to leave. Lets face it, we can't change anyone unless they want to change and if they are perfectly happy with what they are doing and you are the one with the problem, then that's not okay either. Something has to gave.
Posted by tuscan_sun
Just pointing something out using the extreme
When you ask "why do you smoke" to a smoker, it's irrelevant to what the person is feeling....
If you don't like to be with a smoker, don't be with one. If you still have the option, because you may regret it after and it will be too late since you accepted that person as a whole after marriage.
Hey, like I said, I agree with you. An ex-bf of mine was a smoker but he had stomach cancer -- in remission. I'm not saying we broke up entirely because of that, but ... I didn't want to deal with what might happen to him either. He even told me he wasn't suppose to smoke ... and he was doing it anyway.
Nah, that was too much for me, its like watching someone self-destruct ... no thank you.
Posted by tuscan_sun
My point being, before marriage you have a choice to leave. Once someone is buried, that's bound for life. Well that's why people take their vows anyways.
Well, if you are talking about marriage, you can leave marriage too you know? That's what divorce is for 😉
Posted by Learus
I did, but here's what I don't get.....
How some people take that principles of a marriage and use that in a relationship. Let's say for instance, you got two people who are incompatible... one of them is constantly causing chaos and/or drama in the relationship, yet they both still stay together... in a relationship that apparently is not going to go nowhere! What's up with that??
Because of unseen feelings and a sense of connection.
The desire to work things out. Love makes you do stupid things.
Posted by tuscan_sun
I'm in my 20s Lol (if you're thinking I'm around my teens). It's in our genes to look young.
So am I 😉
Posted by tuscan_sun
I'm in my 20s Lol (if you're thinking I'm around my teens). It's in our genes to look young.
me to yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy forever young lmao
Posted by Learus
Cajunspirit, it would seem to me that at one point or another, the more maturer one would use common sense and call it quits. I can't see holding on to... well... nothing actually. There's no possible way two people can grow together if they spend most of their time arguing and fighting. And PLEASEEEE don't let one of them be petty. That minor disagreement can carry on forever and ever and ever....
did u forget cajun is a stubborn virgo lol
Posted by Learus
Cajunspirit, it would seem to me that at one point or another, the more maturer one would use common sense and call it quits. I can't see holding on to... well... nothing actually. There's no possible way two people can grow together if they spend most of their time arguing and fighting. And PLEASEEEE don't let one of them be petty. That minor disagreement can carry on forever and ever and ever....
Very stubborn.
My Decan is Saturn and Rising is Capricorn.
Yes, the more mature person would call the quits in that situation.
But do you honestly know or understand how these couples you see fighting all the time feel for each other?
It's not easy to understand from the view outside of the box.
Posted by CajunspiritPosted by Learus
Cajunspirit, it would seem to me that at one point or another, the more maturer one would use common sense and call it quits. I can't see holding on to... well... nothing actually. There's no possible way two people can grow together if they spend most of their time arguing and fighting. And PLEASEEEE don't let one of them be petty. That minor disagreement can carry on forever and ever and ever....
Very stubborn.
My Decan is Saturn and Rising is Capricorn.
Yes, the more mature person would call the quits in that situation.
But do you honestly know or understand how these couples you see fighting all the time feel for each other?
It's not easy to understand from the view outside of the box.click to expand
damn od stubborn gosh ur Saturn 4 star general lmao
Posted by Learus
Cajunspirit, it would seem to me that at one point or another, the more maturer one would use common sense and call it quits. I can't see holding on to... well... nothing actually. There's no possible way two people can grow together if they spend most of their time arguing and fighting. And PLEASEEEE don't let one of them be petty. That minor disagreement can carry on forever and ever and ever....
You make an excellent, excellent, excellent (very well put) point.
I can't see holding on to... well... nothing actually. There's no possible way two people can grow together if they spend most of their time arguing and fighting. And PLEASEEEE don't let one of them be petty. That minor disagreement can carry on forever and ever and ever....
Yes, yes, yes, yes exactly. It doesn't matter how much you love each other, love alone cannot hold a relationship together when theres all kinds of chaos going on.
I just think its hold for some people to let go on that 'dream' -- what they actually want that person to be, verses what it is that they have with that person.
Waiting around for things to get better can mean that you are waiting around forever. This is where people make their mistakes and then 20 years later, you see them on a talk show ... still trying to sort out problems that were created years ago but never really discussed.
*Shakes head*
Posted by CajunspiritPosted by Learus
Cajunspirit, it would seem to me that at one point or another, the more maturer one would use common sense and call it quits. I can't see holding on to... well... nothing actually. There's no possible way two people can grow together if they spend most of their time arguing and fighting. And PLEASEEEE don't let one of them be petty. That minor disagreement can carry on forever and ever and ever....
Very stubborn.
My Decan is Saturn and Rising is Capricorn.
Yes, the more mature person would call the quits in that situation.
But do you honestly know or understand how these couples you see fighting all the time feel for each other?
It's not easy to understand from the view outside of the box.click to expand
Oh I see Cajun, you are one of those that likes to hold on to things ... even if its not in your best interest.
Posted by cappysweetie
Oh I see Cajun, you are one of those that likes to hold on to things ... even if its not in your best interest.
No no no, darling.
I am just all about hearing both sides of the story. Mercury in Libra.
I would not hold unto something that is not working out.
Posted by CajunspiritPosted by cappysweetie
Oh I see Cajun, you are one of those that likes to hold on to things ... even if its not in your best interest.
No no no, darling.
I am just all about hearing both sides of the story. Mercury in Libra.
I would not hold unto something that is not working out.click to expand
Oh! Ok, well thats good. You really didn't seem like the type to do so, that's why I was a little shocked. See, my mercury's in Saggie -- yeah, it causes all kinds of trouble for me ^_^.
Eh I Agree and disagree. Like I said for personal reasons. You are right Learus noone is perfect. Everyone makes the same mistakes over and over again until it's time for change. Life is a learning experience, and what you learn is to grow by realizing your mistakes and changing them. People cling to others, AT TIMES ,in relationships for security reasons that is true. Sometimes people are dependent on their partners because they find that they can/have learned a great deal from each other. In this kind of a relationship partners can even find that they learned things about themselves that hadn't even crossed their mind.
When you cling someone it means you cant let them go, you are attatched. People who are married cling to each other for the simple fact that through thick and thin they wouldnt leave eah other, at least th ones that grow old together. Clinging is unhealthy when its obsessive and controlling. Most divorces and relationships fail because people feel that working through issues are too "clingy" and decide to move on to the next person, start over again to find that they are encountering the same issues again with a different person from scratch. Btw very interesting and insightful point tuscan_sun.
Off point. Is blog not conditional or conditional love? http://empatheticvoice.xanga.com/ I found and making me light in the head.
Posted by tuscan_sun
I guess love isn't the strongest force.
I believe "Unconditional Love" is.
My take, we all have a responsibility to help one another- even if the person chooses to drown. Although, it is understandable to let go if one is being dragged. Only help if you can. It is a loss cause to throw one's self with the chances of your life being ruined as well helping someone else.
I guess helps in arms length
Marriage (by choice) is still different. I don't believe in divorces either. If you have known that person for a long time before you got married and you know that he/she is already smoking/drinking, then you can't really complain once you get married. Marrying someone, for me, means accepting that person in wholesome.click to expand
I think we are seeing eye to eye now 🙂
Posted by tuscan_sun
p.s. i'm trying to make sense of what is in my head..
Yeah and that's where Virgo and Pisces go in opposite directions, haha 😛
Welcome tuscan! 🙂 Love is love. Some persons say condition for love, this is correct in it is not love for real.
Posted by tuscan_sun
Let me explain myself a bit clearer, I am having trouble explaining myself.
so are you assuming i'm a pisces?
... Why are you back tredding?
... Why do Neptune girls take so much pleasure in confusing people?
Posted by tuscan_sun
So be it i am a Pisces. For the record, the post about "scorpio and virgo" has to do nothing with me but my friend.
click to expand
Virgos don't forget.
Posted by tuscan_sun
LOL, "so be it, i'm a pisces" there suppose to be a comma, because someone said that i am.
I don't take pleasure in confusing people. If anything, it frustrates me and I feel sort of sad that I am misunderstood (say what I post is interpreted differently). As for the guessing what my sign is, I made that one clear. Leave that be.
Well, here we are again. Your statements appear to me as contradictory and as a direct result confusing.
When it comes to marriage, as I understand it- it's a piece of contract. I don't believe in divorces once married, because of the vows taken and the responsibilities that comes along once married. Can't fall in-love too quick and get married, then get divorce.
I see marriage as a sacrament and blessing. A union forged by God.
I'm looking for the magic I guess, married and still feeling in-love.click to expand
What happens when the "magic" disappears?
Haha, it's a common thing for me to read that Pisces dump you are the "spark fades 😛
Posted by CajunspiritPosted by tuscan_sun
I'm looking for the magic I guess, married and still feeling in-love.
What happens when the "magic" disappears?
Haha, it's a common thing for me to read that Pisces dump you are the "spark fades 😛click to expand
Werd Tuscan sun werrrrdddd. You had a lot of good points....thouuughhhh I have to agree with Cajun here. I'm not sure if this is exactly what he is saying but....I DON'T BELIEVE IN MAGIC. "Magic" is bullbutter. There is no lightening that strikes, there are no birds that chirp there are no butterflies in your stomach, you don't see stars. All of that are things that are a) made up in movies b) written in literature by people that have to overcome "obstacles" for love or just met on hormone overdrive c) Told to you by people like your parents that only remember the fluffy rose scented memories of when they were dating. You can read countless articles that let you know in these words exactly that "If you believe in magic you are setting yourself up for many many many disappointments in life." Cajun is right, you should marry the right one and marry forever (unless there is abuse). Some people have no butterflies, end up marrying bc they get along great/are somewhat attracted to each other, and end up married until old age. Others go crazy for each other, and the very fact that they are crazy for each other and can not move passed this feeling to function in everyday life in a healthy way, separates them. You have to be best friends and attracted to each other enough to have babies. Best friends (communication) so that you know that you can work through anything and even make some sacrifices (like quit smoking or control finances). Attracted (sexual) so that you can spread your seed...and wake up next to the person with a smile on your face. Last but not least, trust (hope+belief) that the person will do what they say or at least is doing some kind of effort.
Posted by tuscan_sun
what i meant by magic, is the hope that love goes on even after marriage... sorry for putting that in an "impractical" term
Don't worry... it's natural 🙂
[Not meant to offend]
Posted by tuscan_sun
and i never said that magic disappears...click to expand
I was asking... "what if?"
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
OK... just say yes and get married! The rest comes naturally. Why do you torture yourselves, you guys?? Marriage...
Virgo is known as the Virgin for those born August 23 to September 23. This is an approximation because of the irregular
I found this on the web it's very interesting plz take a look This entry is rated M for Mature, though not for an
Seriously, just chill. You make yourself an enemy of yourself. Whenever somebody speaks to you in a fashion that y
just look how other virgos attack us there mostly from the older ones but idk y tho its a shame i thought virgos get on
____***this is an interactive story, please start another thread for general conversation***--------- One-forty in th
best wishes to you!
Mercury, the quick messenger of gods, rules both Virgo and Gemini, yet, influences them differently. Virgo is a more pra
Is it worth to Virgos? will they love to get those from fire signs? what do you think? do you believe in unconditional
Well today is ma bday im mega hype wow i'm 20 i feel old lol i'm going out wit ma family and friends to have a blast.
i'm not a virgo but have a virgo moon and i always read how virgos are perfectionists and obsess over their health. i
Okay so, I just wanted to vent. A good vent. I am throwing the Virgo who I am dating a surprise birthday party with hi
Hi everyone :) I was hanging out with my old virgo friend when i asked him a question about something i've noticed hi
So, at the beginning of the summer I was doing really well. Eating healthy and exercising. Now, I have seriously falle
I am studying the deep depths of astrology more and more every day. There is much to learn and I am obsessed with it. So
.... that this is abnormal ... Posted by P-AngelPosted by CajunspiritMy Alter Ego is named Seth, after the Egypti
I have a alter ego name jay traits are funny, light heart, smart, helpful, down to earth, and always upbeat how bout
I thought it would be interesting to see how a virgo hates someone, since there are like a billion how to tell if they l
I've had it with this virgo. He called and we planned to hang out. When it was time to hang out, he was no where to be
(Contiued)
However, you would be suprized how many people would actually prefer cutting cookies after toilet partying for while. You'd also be suprized to see how many of those people were just lost and at some point destested some of the things they do more than you do now. All you have to do is show some what's on the other side of the wall for them to realize that the only thing that belongs in a toilet is poop and for some to realize their true value/beauty.