mosquitoes love tequila

This topic was created in the Writing ✍️ forum by schoenetanz on Tuesday, July 4, 2006 and has 56 replies.

You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

*sitting outside and staring into the flame of the citronella candle on my porch*

I have had many drinks and yet still I see mosquitoes...why is that?

they love tequila

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

I'm mellowed out now...I needed to fix my spirits with a private celebration

the night feels incredible...the hazy air is smelling sweet and crazy- but that could also be the candle...

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

who needs men when we have music and the internet

not to mention those sexy bloodthirsty mofo mosquitoes who can't stand to be away from me even for a second 🙂

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

you are so lucky sb

I probably have eastern equine encephalitis or some shit like that

I woke up scratching away...I look like a victim of the pox 😢

there is one huge mothah on my upper thigh and it looks about the size of a quarter...

I feel like shit

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

*yeah true. What do you listen to online Schoene?

well, the really good new stuff thatsout there never gets radio play 😢

I like seeing whats new in my area...there is some really nice indie shit on the up and coming in and around boston- seriously- I KNOW some of these songs are gonna catch on- just too damn good...

Profile picture of GEM*TWO
@GEM*TWO
21 Years1,000+ Posts

*I'm mellowed out now...I needed to fix my spirits with a private celebration

the night feels incredible...the hazy air is smelling sweet and crazy- but that could also be the candle...

-hey now! sounds like u had a goodtime Scorptastic....

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

if by "good" you mean "pathetic and lonely, yet mildly drunk" and by "time" you mean "mosquitoe infested night on the porch"

then YEAH!

I had a damn goodtime!

Profile picture of GEM*TWO
@GEM*TWO
21 Years1,000+ Posts

**gives Scorpness a hug....carefull not to go near stinger....**

hahahahhahaha........it was probably better than mine Scorpnesss.....tequila? did u mix it with anything?

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

tequila? did u mix it with anything?

*scoffs* of course not! SillY! j/k

fresca+tequila=fresquila

(it sucks ass for the first few glasses- then you get used it)

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

.it was probably better than mine Scorpnesss.

if you can make me think MINE was better then yer YOURS then I will make you a fresquila and personally fly it over to california so you can enjoy it on somebody's mosquitoe infested porch

Profile picture of GEM*TWO
@GEM*TWO
21 Years1,000+ Posts

*if you can make me think MINE was better then yer YOURS then I will make you a fresquila and personally fly it over to california

--hahahahha....look up in a bit.....try to keep that drink cold while on the plane....

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

*scoops some ice out of random passengers glass of water with bare hands and plunks it into sorry-ass fresquila*

I don't mind getting wierd looks on the plane...I'm used to it actually-

this is serious business here...you know those people who have to fly vital organs to people on life suport...those organs need to stay damn chilly in order to be fresh for surgery

I want this fresquila to be in top form...nothing but the best for your frowny liver 2_2!!

Profile picture of GEM*TWO
@GEM*TWO
21 Years1,000+ Posts

ahhhh...u made my liver blush! he only just does that when i drink overpriced Vodka Tonics....

*I like orange juice
- i meant Alcohol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

my fave:

*pure, lava-rock distilled icelandic vodka is IDEAL (or stoli)
*seltzer water
*crushed ice
*a lime wedge
*just a splash of cranberry juice

I like to call it a rasberry lime licky-dicky 😉

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

lol- so you aren't workin today I take it? *starts making you a rasberry lime licky-whatever you fancy*

this should make up for last night

Profile picture of juwanapla
@juwanapla
20 Years1,000+ Posts

Hi guys. I'm going to have to try that drink. But I'll substitute lemon for lime.

I went to the park with a group of friends, 11 of us. It was really nice. The monsoonal clouds had cooled the air. It was beautiful. Maybe only 90 degrees at 9pm. The grass was nice and cool. My son made up names for all the different fireworks. The bugs, starfish, snakies...Some he just called "tight!". It was good times.

I stayed sober. Good thing, the cops were out like crazy. I got home and watched the Boston Pops on tv. I happened to catch Aerosmith 'Walk this way'. (Be still my heart) Then watched the fireworks in Boston. DAMN!! What a show!

Anywho, that was my 4th. It was nice.

Profile picture of juwanapla
@juwanapla
20 Years1,000+ Posts

If I was rich I would have been there in a heartbeat. That was an awesome show!!!! Aerosmith, Boston Pops, and fireworks. Yes, in a heartbeat.

I've always wanted to see Mama Kins, too. Someday.........

Profile picture of GEM*TWO
@GEM*TWO
21 Years1,000+ Posts

you know when Skip told me he found his soulmate, i was happy for him...but then i found out she was a Leo....i think its the budlight talkin....

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

Kris—?

Oh god...I didn't realize skip was that kinda dog...well...explains why you two always liked to hang out together so much...all those hunting trips...

Profile picture of GEM*TWO
@GEM*TWO
21 Years1,000+ Posts

no.....but he would always give "helpful" tips when i would do my interior decorating...true, i was a little threatened by his talent....but i had NO IDEA....

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

LMAO!

nice, nice...you workin? I can send skip over to your office with an ice cold dicklicker 😉 he will even pant in it for you...

Profile picture of GEM*TWO
@GEM*TWO
21 Years1,000+ Posts

i think that would make Kris insanely jealous....u know how Leo's can be....

i'm off to work in a bit....got tommorow off....finally...

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

absfabs!

hope you get home at a somewhat reasonable hour...skip will be waiting anxiously by the door with his own ass nice and drooly- jestfo yooz! 😉

Profile picture of stardance
@stardance
20 Years500+ Posts

Do moquitoes feel the pleasure of penetrating your skin?? Do they mate doggy style like flies? Just wondering...

Profile picture of stardance
@stardance
20 Years500+ Posts

*looks around for any sight of Schoene...only the evidence that she has been here left...then I see one bravado mosquito smoking a cigar and sipping on Schoene's fresquila*

I walk up and say....Where is Schoene?
You mean the dancing chickie with the red lumps of mosquito luv all over? Oh her, well her blood did give me a real good sensation if you know what I mean...hah hah hahh...I think some of my bros had there way with her and she didn't like it one bit....she said something about a bath in oatmeal...Tell her we'll be visiting her again real soon...hah hah hahh. *crabbie feels her face turning red..SPLAT! Let's see ya try to suck her blood now you flattened overgrown larva! Eewww..his guts are bloody, I suppose that's a bit of Schoene..I think I'll scoop it up and spread the remains on a pretty hillside....she would want it that way....*

Where is Schoene...does she need help...or has she through great personal strength survived the horrible ordeal? If anyone spots a red bumped dancer drinking fresquila's...please notify me immediately...

Thanks! 🙂

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

STAR!!!!!!AHHHHHH I missed you again?? uhggg I just got back from class...all sweaty and nasty- think I'll take a shower...it's 93 degs here....gonna be a nice COOOOLD shower 🙂

*itching like crazy*

the fresquilas do help...

*dances off to get another one*

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

What is a fresquila?

AHHHH

prime-

a fresquila is the workinwoman's drink

1)come home all strung out from the day
2)go to the freezer and grab the tequila
3)fill a glass half-full with tequila
4)dump a fresca into said glass and add a lime
5)get mildly sloshed
6)rinse and repeat

o_O

oh yes

it's JUST that easy 🙂

Profile picture of schoenetanz
@schoenetanz
20 Years5,000+ Posts

speaking of easy

uhhgg

I feel like shyte...I really need to lay off- I think I have an ulcer or something...I have this awful pain in my tummy after I eat anything- really- even if it's just lettuce...I thought it would just go away...the pain I mean- not the lettuce...and now it's been almost a week- getting to be more bothersome every day!

they say stress causes ulcers @)_(@ but I have been stressed out since I was like 5 yrs old (just ask my mom) and I never got an ulcer in all those stressy yrs before!

I can;t even eat cherries- CHERRIES - they are my favorite summer food... 😢 they give me the pitts AHHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHahhhyeahhhh...imadork

and I love caffeine too...which is supposedly an irritant...yup- drink lotsathat...hmm *clutches tummy* here comes the pain...

no orange juice either...that citric acid...bad news for a tender stomach lining 😢 waaaaaaaaaaahaaaa *doubles over* waaaahaaahawhy—??

First
Previous
Next
Last