Taurus man cheated once while drunk, idk what to do.

I have know this Taurus man since we were very young children, mothers were friends, moving states were involved. 11 years later he came to visit while we were both teenagers, it was awkward but ok. Fast forward another 11 years, long story short we ended up dating, and about 2 months later he left everything behind including his job in another state to move in with me.

About a year into the relationship we both decided it would be best if he moved into his stepsister place for a few weeks to look for work. Well… His stepsister has a granddaughter who was 18 at the time and he met her less than a week of being there. Pretty much he was drinking daily while staying at the stepsisters residence and one night while he went to sleep in his stepsisters rv the granddaughter apparently came into the rv, made the first move, and he cheated on me.

I came to visit about a few days afterwards, prior to visiting we talked daily and he complained the granddaughter was annoying him when she came to visit. I did have a strange feeling and knew something was going on due to her intensely staring at him constantly the few times she did come over to visit. The 2nd night I went on his phone and saw they both sent each other a song, I confronted him if he slept with her, of course he denied. There was no further contact between them as far as I know.

A month ago I sent text her off of my number and she confirmed they slept together once. According to her he complained about me to her and she told me to leave him. I forwarded him the text and he finally confessed blaming that he was extremely drunk but couldn’t give me an answer why he did it. I fought with him, he left for 2 days, and we “worked” things out. Idk if working it out is the right thing to do, I’m not sure how to even convince him to come completely clean about the cheating as well. He denies having feeling for this girl but I’m not sure if I completely buy into that. He did say he was finally relieved I found out because he was scared to admit that the cheating occurred. I’m wondering if anyone has an opinion or advice.

I’m a cancer and the other women is a Gemini btw.

And how old is he?

Every time he gets drunk he will be fucking somebody sounds like he’s an alcoholic too. I don’t think it’s worth it.

He’s 30 and I’m 29.

He was drinking almost every day we when first started to date but the last 6 months he slowed down a lot and in the last 3 months he’s only gotten drunk twice. He drinks at home.

Did it happen just the once?

Does he still see her?



This does not excuse the cheating, but if the answer is no and he isn't seeing or having sex with her again and you have accepted him back, then you should forgive him and move on.

This will not mean cheating won't happen again, this is just based on the one scenario.

If you have truly "worked things out" then leave it in the past and move on and don't bring it up in future arguments either, unless it's relevant to a new cheating episode.

Posted by xomeow

He’s 30 and I’m 29.

wow kind of cringe that as a 30yr old he wants to pass responsibility onto the 18yr old, oh she made the first move I'm just totally helpless and blameless in this situation. Smh please. Your a grown ass man. She's a teenager.

Naw he was an equal participant and probably the aggressor in the situation.

And if it really was an alcohol fueled mistake why did he engage in the texting back and forth with her, sending her songs or whatnot?

And like @_ang_an pointed out... he wasn't scared to admit it. He fully was never going to tell you about it. The only reason he fessed up was because you caught him and called him out. He's not relieved. He's doing damage control.

When you confronted him, he lied to you. That should tell you everything you need to know. If you can't have trust there is no relationship.

If you do decide to work things out, forgive and forget, just be cognitive to the likelihood that he will engage in this behavior again and lie to you about it.

Also I want to add that your focus shouldn't be on whether he has feelings for her, or her sun sign vs your sun sign.

The only thing special about her was that she was in his vicinity. It has nothing to do with feelings or a special connection.

You are the one he has a special connection with having known you for decades. And yet look how quickly he is to disrespect you, be disloyal, and lie to you about it.

Based on his actions it looks like he's going to put himself and his selfish needs first before honoring the relationship with you.

Focus should be on whether you will be able to build the trust back with him and whether he is willing to put the hard work in to win your trust back.

Or

Posted by Lula_

You don't know what to do with an alcoholic, lying, cheating ho?

Problem solved.

She is a cancer she is prone to putting up with bs. Cancer suck at having standards and getting rid of people. Which is unfortunate because their vulnerability requires even more selfprotection.

Posted by Parkourler

Posted by Lula_

You don't know what to do with an alcoholic, lying, cheating ho?

Problem solved.

She is a cancer she is prone to putting up with bs. Cancer suck at having standards and getting rid of people. Which is unfortunate because their vulnerability requires even more selfprotection.

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OP Please dont feel hurt, i am saying please direct your kindness and protectivenesy to yourself, and consciously choose people who are worthy of you. If it was your best friend not you how would you help her?

What is with these teenagers wanting old men lately? Not that 30 is old but when I was 18 I thought 30 was ancient. My friend's husband is 37 (Aries) and he is literally being chased by an 18 year old while his wife is home pregnant. Then I know a 34 year old (Sag) guy with 3 kids who impregnated a 19 year old who he's been in an affair with for over a year. Is there a shortage of guys in their early 20s or something?

Posted by xomeow

I have know this Taurus man since we were very young children, mothers were friends, moving states were involved. 11 years later he came to visit while we were both teenagers, it was awkward but ok. Fast forward another 11 years, long story short we ended up dating, and about 2 months later he left everything behind including his job in another state to move in with me.

About a year into the relationship we both decided it would be best if he moved into his stepsister place for a few weeks to look for work. Well… His stepsister has a granddaughter who was 18 at the time and he met her less than a week of being there. Pretty much he was drinking daily while staying at the stepsisters residence and one night while he went to sleep in his stepsisters rv the granddaughter apparently came into the rv, made the first move, and he cheated on me.

I came to visit about a few days afterwards, prior to visiting we talked daily and he complained the granddaughter was annoying him when she came to visit. I did have a strange feeling and knew something was going on due to her intensely staring at him constantly the few times she did come over to visit. The 2nd night I went on his phone and saw they both sent each other a song, I confronted him if he slept with her, of course he denied. There was no further contact between them as far as I know.

A month ago I sent text her off of my number and she confirmed they slept together once. According to her he complained about me to her and she told me to leave him. I forwarded him the text and he finally confessed blaming that he was extremely drunk but couldn’t give me an answer why he did it. I fought with him, he left for 2 days, and we “worked” things out. Idk if working it out is the right thing to do, I’m not sure how to even convince him to come completely clean about the cheating as well. He denies having feeling for this girl but I’m not sure if I completely buy into that. He did say he was finally relieved I found out because he was scared to admit that the cheating occurred. I’m wondering if anyone has an opinion or advice.

I’m a cancer and the other women is a Gemini btw.

While context is everything, you wrote all of the above to explain away what exactly? Would you know what to do if he cheated while he was sober?...Why does the condition he was in matter when this is about your boundaries and what you can or can not accept?

As for his "druken state", the man clearly knew what he was doing because he was sending this young lady song text afterwards. Therefore, he was continuing this, whatever it was, well after this so called drunken romp. Meh. If you can forgive the man, stay. If you can't and plan to just hold it over his head every time you're in a mood because you can't truly move on, then leave. That's what it really boils down to. If you need the time to figure that out, then take it. Absolutely no harm in needing time to sort through your emotions. However all this "convincing him to come clean about the cheating" sounds like a wasted exercise imo. Not sure how much more you need to hear to make cheating with "family" more tolerable for you.

Posted by DonnaLibra

What is with these teenagers wanting old men lately? Not that 30 is old but when I was 18 I thought 30 was ancient. My friend's husband is 37 (Aries) and he is literally being chased by an 18 year old while his wife is home pregnant. Then I know a 34 year old (Sag) guy with 3 kids who impregnated a 19 year old who he's been in an affair with for over a year. Is there a shortage of guys in their early 20s or something?

Its interesting that you blame teenagers for getting with older men and not the older men who have 2xs the life experience and know better.

Posted by xomeow

He was drinking almost every day we when first started to date ...

And you still decided to claim this man as bae?

I can't get pass sleeping with step sister's granddaughter. 😳

Posted by MareInfame

I read OP too fast…

This Merc Rx seems stronger than the last. I'm finding I need to read slower than molasses just to catch everything, and I still need to read things over again to make sure I got it straight. My reading comprehension is all sorts of f*cked up too.

This is going to be painful.

Posted by Hamsthetics

I thought you were with hypno, a Scorpio?

She's with both



This is about the Taurus though! Quit being distracted and stay on topic! 😛

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by DonnaLibra

What is with these teenagers wanting old men lately? Not that 30 is old but when I was 18 I thought 30 was ancient. My friend's husband is 37 (Aries) and he is literally being chased by an 18 year old while his wife is home pregnant. Then I know a 34 year old (Sag) guy with 3 kids who impregnated a 19 year old who he's been in an affair with for over a year. Is there a shortage of guys in their early 20s or something?

Older men are seen as being more respectful. After speaking to a few early 20 year olds they say men their own want to try everything they see in porn on a first date. I'm not saying this true in all cases or older men after always respectful, but it's perception.

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Older *married* men pay for their time and companionship too. They have more time for dates and gifts for the young side pieces, then they do for the wives!

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by DonnaLibra

What is with these teenagers wanting old men lately? Not that 30 is old but when I was 18 I thought 30 was ancient. My friend's husband is 37 (Aries) and he is literally being chased by an 18 year old while his wife is home pregnant. Then I know a 34 year old (Sag) guy with 3 kids who impregnated a 19 year old who he's been in an affair with for over a year. Is there a shortage of guys in their early 20s or something?

Its interesting that you blame teenagers for getting with older men and not the older men who have 2xs the life experience and know better.

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I'm not blaming them I'm really asking why they are attracted to these older guys. Men have been sleazy about young women forever and normally get slapped or told off by young girls when hit on (or me and my crew did back in my day) but now they are actually chasing down these older guys. It used to be the other way around. What happened is all I'm sayin?

Posted by DonnaLibra

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by DonnaLibra

What is with these teenagers wanting old men lately? Not that 30 is old but when I was 18 I thought 30 was ancient. My friend's husband is 37 (Aries) and he is literally being chased by an 18 year old while his wife is home pregnant. Then I know a 34 year old (Sag) guy with 3 kids who impregnated a 19 year old who he's been in an affair with for over a year. Is there a shortage of guys in their early 20s or something?

Its interesting that you blame teenagers for getting with older men and not the older men who have 2xs the life experience and know better.

I'm not blaming them I'm really asking why they are attracted to these older guys. Men have been sleazy about young women forever and normally get slapped or told off by young girls when hit on (or me and my crew did back in my day) but now they are actually chasing down these older guys. It used to be the other way around. What happened is all I'm sayin?

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You and your friends told old men no. But young women are chasing down older guys based on your friends husband's word and another older guy you know that can't keep his dick in his pants. Got it.

Generalizations are fun!

Makes me think of the pos rapist who claimed the 3 17yr old young women came onto him and chased him down. Then when I looked up the court documents turned out he raped them each multiple times a 13, 14, and 15 year old.

Victim blaming literal children, because lets be real... even 18/19yr olds are still teenagers, is not a good look.

Like you said, men are the aggressor. Like literally 999xs out of 1000. I went through it at 16 myself. Having an older coach corner me during an out of state tournament. I was flattered but mostly confused and a bit scared. Because as a teen I thought, am I special to be chosen? No I was vulnerable, away from family and teammates. A target. Someone easily moldable and controllable.

I'd be questioning your friends husband story. Why does a 37yr old have constant contact with an 18yr old in the first place for her to "chase him down" allegedly. Very suspect.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by DonnaLibra

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by DonnaLibra

What is with these teenagers wanting old men lately? Not that 30 is old but when I was 18 I thought 30 was ancient. My friend's husband is 37 (Aries) and he is literally being chased by an 18 year old while his wife is home pregnant. Then I know a 34 year old (Sag) guy with 3 kids who impregnated a 19 year old who he's been in an affair with for over a year. Is there a shortage of guys in their early 20s or something?

Its interesting that you blame teenagers for getting with older men and not the older men who have 2xs the life experience and know better.

I'm not blaming them I'm really asking why they are attracted to these older guys. Men have been sleazy about young women forever and normally get slapped or told off by young girls when hit on (or me and my crew did back in my day) but now they are actually chasing down these older guys. It used to be the other way around. What happened is all I'm sayin?

You and your friends told old men no. But young women are chasing down older guys based on your friends husband's word and another older guy you know that can't keep his dick in his pants. Got it.

Generalizations are fun!

Makes me think of the pos rapist who claimed the 3 17yr old young women came onto him and chased him down. Then when I looked up the court documents turned out he raped them each multiple times a 13, 14, and 15 year old.

Victim blaming literal children, because lets be real... even 18/19yr olds are still teenagers, is not a good look.

Like you said, men are the aggressor. Like literally 999xs out of 1000. I went through it at 16 myself. Having an older coach corner me during an out of state tournament. I was flattered but mostly confused and a bit scared. Because as a teen I thought, am I special to be chosen? No I was vulnerable, away from family and teammates. A target. Someone easily moldable and controllable.

I'd be questioning your friends husband story. Why does a 37yr old have constant contact with an 18yr old in the first place for her to "chase him down" allegedly. Very suspect.

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First off I never victim blamed anyone, I asked a question .

Actually I'm friends with the mother of the 34 year old who is married to the 37 year old. He's a dog and has always cheated on her since they've been together. She's(wife) caught them together 3 times. Read all their texts, the girl says she's in love with him. Wife is too stupid to leave him. The other guy's wife and kids go to my church and she broke down crying telling our Womens Prayer Group about the affair her husband is having with this girl. She is not well at all. BTW, I'm much older than these women and when I was 19 it was many decades ago so times were completely different then. They didn't even have computers back then much less social media. This is why I'm asking what has changed. I'm sorry for your situation with with that coach who was trying to groom you at 16, as you were a minor; these girls are of legal age and free to make their own decisions. These girls claim to be in love with these guys, not victims. Especially the pregnant one who told his wife they will be together one way or another after the baby is born. Of course I've asked my friend why her son in law is allowed to get away with this and she says because her daughter won't leave him so he does what the hell he wants to do. Older men have been smitten by very young girls and women since the beginning of time and there's no mystery as to why - they are attracted to youth. I don't have to ask that question. Sorry my post triggered you.

Posted by Redbull

Posted by DonnaLibra

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by DonnaLibra

What is with these teenagers wanting old men lately? Not that 30 is old but when I was 18 I thought 30 was ancient. My friend's husband is 37 (Aries) and he is literally being chased by an 18 year old while his wife is home pregnant. Then I know a 34 year old (Sag) guy with 3 kids who impregnated a 19 year old who he's been in an affair with for over a year. Is there a shortage of guys in their early 20s or something?

Its interesting that you blame teenagers for getting with older men and not the older men who have 2xs the life experience and know better.

I'm not blaming them I'm really asking why they are attracted to these older guys. Men have been sleazy about young women forever and normally get slapped or told off by young girls when hit on (or me and my crew did back in my day) but now they are actually chasing down these older guys. It used to be the other way around. What happened is all I'm sayin?

Haha. Why ask why though.

Curiosity.

What I dont get is what makes the young women so bold they'll chase the skin off of you.

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This is the what I'm surprised at because to me this is something new.

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Timone

I can't get pass sleeping with step sister's granddaughter. 😳

Yeah I know some men have all the luck. 😈

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😛

Posted by DonnaLibra

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by DonnaLibra

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by DonnaLibra

What is with these teenagers wanting old men lately? Not that 30 is old but when I was 18 I thought 30 was ancient. My friend's husband is 37 (Aries) and he is literally being chased by an 18 year old while his wife is home pregnant. Then I know a 34 year old (Sag) guy with 3 kids who impregnated a 19 year old who he's been in an affair with for over a year. Is there a shortage of guys in their early 20s or something?

Its interesting that you blame teenagers for getting with older men and not the older men who have 2xs the life experience and know better.

I'm not blaming them I'm really asking why they are attracted to these older guys. Men have been sleazy about young women forever and normally get slapped or told off by young girls when hit on (or me and my crew did back in my day) but now they are actually chasing down these older guys. It used to be the other way around. What happened is all I'm sayin?

You and your friends told old men no. But young women are chasing down older guys based on your friends husband's word and another older guy you know that can't keep his dick in his pants. Got it.

Generalizations are fun!

Makes me think of the pos rapist who claimed the 3 17yr old young women came onto him and chased him down. Then when I looked up the court documents turned out he raped them each multiple times a 13, 14, and 15 year old.

Victim blaming literal children, because lets be real... even 18/19yr olds are still teenagers, is not a good look.

Like you said, men are the aggressor. Like literally 999xs out of 1000. I went through it at 16 myself. Having an older coach corner me during an out of state tournament. I was flattered but mostly confused and a bit scared. Because as a teen I thought, am I special to be chosen? No I was vulnerable, away from family and teammates. A target. Someone easily moldable and controllable.

I'd be questioning your friends husband story. Why does a 37yr old have constant contact with an 18yr old in the first place for her to "chase him down" allegedly. Very suspect.

First off I never victim blamed anyone, I asked a question .

Actually I'm friends with the mother of the 34 year old who is married to the 37 year old. He's a dog and has always cheated on her since they've been together. She's(wife) caught them together 3 times. Read all their texts, the girl says she's in love with him. Wife is too stupid to leave him. The other guy's wife and kids go to my church and she broke down crying telling our Womens Prayer Group about the affair her husband is having with this girl. She is not well at all. BTW, I'm much older than these women and when I was 19 it was many decades ago so times were completely different then. They didn't even have computers back then much less social media. This is why I'm asking what has changed. I'm sorry for your situation with with that coach who was trying to groom you at 16, as you were a minor; these girls are of legal age and free to make their own decisions. These girls claim to be in love with these guys, not victims. Especially the pregnant one who told his wife they will be together one way or another after the baby is born. Of course I've asked my friend why her son in law is allowed to get away with this and she says because her daughter won't leave him so he does what the hell he wants to do. Older men have been smitten by very young girls and women since the beginning of time and there's no mystery as to why - they are attracted to youth. I don't have to ask that question. Sorry my post triggered you.

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I mean you kinda did tho...

Even knowing the context of your friends husband having cheated on her multiple times, you still chose to focus on his narrative of "this 18yr old is chasing me". Erm yeah sure dude. The guy who has a history of stepping out on his relationship now is pretending like he is passive and this young girl is the aggressor. We both know better.

She's young and inexperienced and thinks she's in love. What has he done to manipulate and cultivate that? .

I know as women we tend to blame the other woman and misdirect our anger towards her as we are not done with the dude. But the reality here is that he is the person deserving of ire.

Also the internalized misogyny of glossing over older men preying on teenagers as normal "because men like youth" but framing young teens who are involved with older men as strange and bizarre is a bit of a double standard.

"these girls are of legal age and free to make their own decisions. These girls claim to be in love with these guys, not victims."

Agree to disagree with this take.

R Kelly is going away for a long time because of how he groomed and trafficked and abused young girls and women. Its not just the ones under 18 that are victims, its the 19 and 20 yr olds that are also victims.

The 37 year old married man grooming a teen half his age while his wife is pregnant deserves your disgust. Not the literal child (legal age or not its still a teen half his damn age).

And your post didn't trigger me, just sharing my viewpoint and pointing out that the double standard of course is alive and well. That being, older men preying on young women is "normal" while a young woman accepting the attentions of an older man... what's wrong with her? Just disheartening to have that misogynistic view come from a woman.

Lets stop assigning blame and responsibility for grown men and their actions onto young women. We've been the gatekeepers for men's morality for long enough.

I'm guessing if your 18yr old daughter fancied herself in love with a 37 yr old married man who is grooming her you'd be a bit more understanding and protective of her. This girl is also someone's daughter. Keep that in mind.

Lol it’s definitely not fake. His mother married a older man with two daughters who were older then the wife. I believe the stepsister is 68 years old if I’m correct.

Thank you all for the opinions and advice, it’s just a bit confusing because I’ve never been cheated on and he wanted to get married, ect.

Also the now 19 year old had a weird obsession with him for a while although she only slept with him once. She does have mommy and daddy issues, her mom is a addict, both of her parents give her alcohol and weed as well.