Moss
@Moss
9 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 12 · Topics: 2
Does being strict with aquas work?
You can't make an aqua do something they don't want to. They are gonna leave you like a bat out of hell.
You may not be able to make anyone do what they don't want to do.
However, you should be able to make your boyfriend do what you want, if you ask him with conviction.
However, you should be able to make your boyfriend do what you want, if you ask him with conviction.
"aquas want someone who will put them to their place for bad behavior. Is it true?"
I think it is, from what I observed in my relationship with Aqua bf, and also in my parents half-a-century marriage (Aqua-Taurus).
Also, Aqua bf was married to a Cancer for over a decade. He tells stories from that time, in which she gives him a hard time and he appears to have listened to her.
I think it is, from what I observed in my relationship with Aqua bf, and also in my parents half-a-century marriage (Aqua-Taurus).
Also, Aqua bf was married to a Cancer for over a decade. He tells stories from that time, in which she gives him a hard time and he appears to have listened to her.
Posted by MossExplain what he is actually doing to you that is bad behavior? Explain how you're a doormat and what is he getting away with?
hey all, I've been reading quite a lot on this board and came across an interesting thought. It goes: aquas want someone who will put them to their place for bad behavior. Is it true?
I am a cancer and I feel treated like a doormat by my aqua bf and I just let him get away with all that stuff. I feel that I need to stand up for myself but I'm not sure how to do it. It's mostly classical aqua hot/cold thing going on.
Opinions would be appreciated, thanks!🙂
I don't know about your man, but I love to discipline people on their bad behaviour. Similarly, I prefer my partner to stand their ground when I do something wrong and discipline me if I'm being ridiculous. Doormats and lenient people are not compatible with Aqua because given the opportunity to walk over you, we would.
Posted by AquistormIt's mostly related to us spending time together. When we make plans he often tends to change it or cancel on the last minute and it drives me nuts! He's a very polite person so he does all the hurting in a very polite way so it's even harder to pin down the problem! I feel like I'm the last on his priority list and he doesn't put enough effort in the relationship.Posted by MossExplain what he is actually doing to you that is bad behavior? Explain how you're a doormat and what is he getting away with?
hey all, I've been reading quite a lot on this board and came across an interesting thought. It goes: aquas want someone who will put them to their place for bad behavior. Is it true?
I am a cancer and I feel treated like a doormat by my aqua bf and I just let him get away with all that stuff. I feel that I need to stand up for myself but I'm not sure how to do it. It's mostly classical aqua hot/cold thing going on.
Opinions would be appreciated, thanks!🙂click to expand
Other than that he often includes me in his long term plans, he introduced me to all of his close friends, his mother and his father(that was a big deal since his dad's opinion is very much important to my bf). At those times when we hang out he's sweet and affectionate, but when we're appart I feel like I don't exist to him...
We've been together for 9months, three months ago I broke up with him because of the same reasons (feeling last of his priorities). I didn't want to do that and It hurt like hell but I felt I had no choice. We got back together (he initiated). We are fighting over this same stuff often because I try to stand up for myself but it doesn't seem to work as the song remains the same. How do I make him understand? I'm tired of going in circles.
Thanks!
Posted by AlienessWhat do I do then? Just suck it up and be a doormat? I tried to keep a distance and didn't initiate anything but it didn't work. The only time I made him really think about where this all is going was when I cut contact for a month.
The more complaining you do.. He will be pushed further away.. This is probably why the cycle started in the first place.
I'm so lost in this relationship:/
Posted by PiscesArtThanks for your opinion! Unconciously I knew that but he gives me just enough so I won't leave and it makes it so hard!
If he continuosly cancels plans in last minute it is very disrespectful. This means your time is not important to him and you are not so important to him either. He is acting immature and you are in pain. It seems he isnt going to change. I'd leave. You will only suffer.
Posted by AlienessIt's not the case of 24/7, it's more like 2 times a week and for the last several weeks one of those times is when he changes or cancels our plans. And days in between those we hardly talk or text at all... Though he says he has feelings for me and he feels good being around me (and we do have a great time!), it's just so confusing!Posted by MossHim not spending enough time with you like he used to im assuming means he loves u any less? He includes you in long term plans and does stick around. You have to understand that aquas understanding of relationship is unconventional if he is a typical one. For them, the idea of staying near each other 24/7..including each other in all the outings and plans, even for some living in the same house or room isnt necessary. Does it mean they are cheating? No. You havr the above expectations as a cancer. He isnt one and you cant change him. You have to harden up and you both have to talk and find a middle path.Posted by AlienessWhat do I do then? Just suck it up and be a doormat? I tried to keep a distance and didn't initiate anything but it didn't work. The only time I made him really think about where this all is going was when I cut contact for a month.
The more complaining you do.. He will be pushed further away.. This is probably why the cycle started in the first place.
I'm so lost in this relationship:/
click to expand
If you want him to run quicker just be stric and lay more rules for him to rebel
Posted by PiscesArtOr, it could be this is how they behave in a long term relationship (when taking someone for granted).Posted by MossIts called manipulation. He doesnt take you seriously and probably he is sticking with you until something better comes along.leave him.Posted by PiscesArtThanks for your opinion! Unconciously I knew that but he gives me just enough so I won't leave and it makes it so hard!
If he continuosly cancels plans in last minute it is very disrespectful. This means your time is not important to him and you are not so important to him either. He is acting immature and you are in pain. It seems he isnt going to change. I'd leave. You will only suffer.
click to expand
This is the relationship. This IS how it's going to be, is my guess--until HE decides to change how often you talk or get together.
I tend to agree with @alieness and @Undine that he's not messing with you; he just isn't one of those guys who focuses on relationships in a more conventional sense.
What does he say when you bring up that you're unhappy with this behavior?
I tend to agree with @alieness and @Undine that he's not messing with you; he just isn't one of those guys who focuses on relationships in a more conventional sense.
What does he say when you bring up that you're unhappy with this behavior?
You have to use logic not emotions. Discuss the issue honestly and matter of fact. Do not be passive aggressive or show any fear.
I have to do this with my brother and the neighbor at my farm. Girl only responds to directness.
I have to do this with my brother and the neighbor at my farm. Girl only responds to directness.
Truth is, it's not in your nature to stand up for yourself. You apparently don't know how to set your boundaries.
If you try a tactic that's not in your nature, it will be obvious that you're not being yourself. Aqua will notice and walk.
You have to find a tactic that fits your nature and personality
If you try a tactic that's not in your nature, it will be obvious that you're not being yourself. Aqua will notice and walk.
You have to find a tactic that fits your nature and personality
If he cancels plans, ok. Just go ahead and go do whatever without him. Why allow him to hold you back?
Or tell him "well, ok. That frees me up to do this other thing I was invited to do"
The point is he is not the director of your social life and it let's him know you're not going to just set around at home because he canceled on you. And that, my friend, is independence and that is attractive, especially to an aqua.
The point is he is not the director of your social life and it let's him know you're not going to just set around at home because he canceled on you. And that, my friend, is independence and that is attractive, especially to an aqua.
Posted by sultrykitty
This is the relationship. This IS how it's going to be, is my guess--until HE decides to change how often you talk or get together.
I tend to agree with @alieness and @Undine that he's not messing with you; he just isn't one of those guys who focuses on relationships in a more conventional sense.
What does he say when you bring up that you're unhappy with this behavior?
Well, at first I tried not to push him for it because I didn't want to come out as a needy gf and expected him to come to his senses. He wouldn't so after a while when all of it piled up I'd be an emotional mess and take it all out. Of course he'd back off even more. It got a bit better because now I show my dissatisfaction in a different manner. I get that it wasn't the right way so I try to be as calm as possible when I bring it up (not that easy as I am a typical emotional cancer).
At first he would admit it was his mistakes and he just didn't think it would affect me so much. As I see it he just doesn't get those basic things in a companionship (as notifying your other half that you're gonna show up 4 hours late at the mutual friends party. I mean, is it so hard to send a simple text?). He tries to avoid to talk about it and gets pissed when I bring it up. After the talk he is more attentive but after some time has passed the cycle repeats.
What can you make of it? So far all the opinions were very helpful, thanks!
Im a cancer... i dated an aqua on/off for lots of years.
It was the same thing with me. It doesn't really ever end. Unless you ignore him or something. He basically knows he has you and can get you whenever he wants. Let him know he can't.
It was the same thing with me. It doesn't really ever end. Unless you ignore him or something. He basically knows he has you and can get you whenever he wants. Let him know he can't.
Posted by truecapHey, truecap, I agree with all this and I AM this way. I'm a very social person, have a strong circle of friends and aquitances and hardly spend time at home (only sleep mostly). I used to think I am independant, but now I'm just confused what it means to be independent.
Or tell him "well, ok. That frees me up to do this other thing I was invited to do"
The point is he is not the director of your social life and it let's him know you're not going to just set around at home because he canceled on you. And that, my friend, is independence and that is attractive, especially to an aqua.
So another question for you guys- what does it mean to be independant and independant in the relationship?
Posted by MossThis is typical and not likely to change. Aquas 1) work on their own sense of time. A few minutes could mean an hour, later could mean days. 2) They will not change for anyone. If they love you, they'll try and you'll get some compromise but very rarely anything drastic. They are FIXED, so quite set in their ways.Posted by sultrykittyAs I see it he just doesn't get those basic things in a companionship (as notifying your other half that you're gonna show up 4 hours late at the mutual friends party. I mean, is it so hard to send a simple text?). He tries to avoid to talk about it and gets pissed when I bring it up. After the talk he is more attentive but after some time has passed the cycle repeats.
This is the relationship. This IS how it's going to be, is my guess--until HE decides to change how often you talk or get together.
I tend to agree with @alieness and @Undine that he's not messing with you; he just isn't one of those guys who focuses on relationships in a more conventional sense.
What does he say when you bring up that you're unhappy with this behavior?click to expand
Both of these are things you learn to live with, if they are worth it to you. It takes a lot of independence, confidence, trust, and patience to do that. I think it's why Aquas tend to he very picky and non-committal, because they know this about themselves. It takes a very particular person to put up with that long term anf not go off the deep end. They understand that not many will be willing to accept it and are always prepared to deal with one of you deciding to walk away.
I have an Aqua moon and almost every guy I have dated has Aquarius somewhere in their chart, either as his rising or sun. The key to getting us to do what you want is by having a calm and collected conversation with us about it. We don’t react well to emotional outbursts or nagging. Whenever I had a problem with one of my boyfriends all I had to do was sit them down and thoroughly explain what was bothering me, and most cases they took in what I was saying and tried their hardest to fix it. But one thing that you can’t get them to change is their presence in your life because they are busy people, mentally/physically. They like their space and will put their friends ahead of you 90% of the time unless they have another sign as their moon/venus in their chart that says otherwise. It is just how they are. I am the same way sometimes. My Aqua sun Gem moon guy will sometimes over plan his day because he thinks he can do all these things, then wake up late and have to cancel everything because he was either raging the night before or overslept it, basically pretty selfish reasons if you ask me (I am also a Cancer though). But the thing is they will always try to make up for their absence when they are finally with you with amazing intellectual conversation and making you laugh. My Gem moon guy will text me making other plans, usually, if he flakes out on the ones we made that he canceled. Only if he feels like I still care though. Him being a Gem moon makes him a little less stable when it comes to what he wants/feels or he will play more games than your typical Aqua when it comes to relationships because he wants to know how I feel without asking so he will put me through test, which I find extremely childish. But his Cap venus/mars make it a little easy to deal with haha.
If I were you I would just treat him the same way he treats you, cancel plans be too busy to see him then if he confronts you about it just say you didn't think he would mind cause he does it to you.
Posted by MossThe key word is "feel" and just because you feel that way does not mean that is how it is... you need to communicate better. There is a retro grade going on for them it is in the house of relationships... So this does not shock me at all...
hey all, I've been reading quite a lot on this board and came across an interesting thought. It goes: aquas want someone who will put them to their place for bad behavior. Is it true?
I am a cancer and I feel treated like a doormat by my aqua bf and I just let him get away with all that stuff. I feel that I need to stand up for myself but I'm not sure how to do it. It's mostly classical aqua hot/cold thing going on.
Opinions would be appreciated, thanks!🙂
However you can't complain if he does not know how you feel. I would also take into consideration all the factors in his life... the 7th house of partnerships also could me he is having alot of work or deal with alot there. We do have to except people for there up;s and downs...
I would not say you need to put him in his place that sounds horrible and I don't think it will go over well..
PM
Unfortunately, with us once you've established a certain pattern of action we don't believe anything that happens after that. It would take months, maybe years for us to think all of a sudden you have a backbone. We're a fixed sign and generally good at seeing bullshit.
If you appeal to the logic in him, perhaps that approach might work
If you appeal to the logic in him, perhaps that approach might work
Posted by Moss
hey all, I've been reading quite a lot on this board and came across an interesting thought. It goes: aquas want someone who will put them to their place for bad behavior. Is it true?
I am a cancer and I feel treated like a doormat by my aqua bf and I just let him get away with all that stuff. I feel that I need to stand up for myself but I'm not sure how to do it. It's mostly classical aqua hot/cold thing going on.
Opinions would be appreciated, thanks!🙂
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
follow your heart and never doubt yourself. for real.
The aqua guy I'm dating stood me up this week and I got upset and have been being distant with him. Will he lose interest? I just felt hurt:( He left for a while week job trip to China and he didn't even see me before he left. He asked to see me.But the d
"When Uranus or Aquarius planets are prominent in the vocational houses (2, 6, 10), the career path is inextricably tied to the Uranian quest to develop our individuality and our unique genius, no matter how difficult that may make survival at times. Thr
I made a huge mistake and kind of sort of broke up with my aqua a few weeks ago. I apologized to him a week later, he said everything was all fine, though he wasn't all that receptive. I asked if he waned to get together and he sent me the emoji wearing s
Hi,
I have been wondering for some time about her... we go to the same studio for yoga. Saw each other often.
Back story I totally fell for this Aqua 5 years ago and then she went to Cal to chase jobs for her type of work. It is not easy to find a
On another post we were talking about our experiences with certain air sun, moon, rising signs and someone gave an interesting perspective on Gemini and Aquarius:
{""I agree with that. Aquas are full of themselves but they will always act democratic, t
So recently my Aqua ex wrote me a letter.. expressing how much he's changed, how much I've taught him, how much he appreciate me, he loves me, and he's thankful for EVERYTHING...
Also, he expressed how he was wrong and don't know how I stayed with him
I've legit disappeared from people's lives from one day to another because I simply decided I didn't wanna be friends/date them anymore and I'm just wondering if that's because I'm an Aqua and how are other signs when it comes to being patient lol because
Weird stuff. He kept liking my selfies on instagram. But then doesnt talk to me anymore. Stares at me. But when i talk to him, he invites other people in the conversation. I asked if he wants to go drinking with me and if he can invite others and he said
Weird stuff. He kept liking my selfies on instagram. But then doesnt talk to me anymore. Stares at me. But when i talk to him, he invites other people in the conversation. I asked if he wants to go drinking with me and if he can invite others and he said
https://media.giphy.com/media/AkWQptokjE5ZS/giphy.gif
I'm Aquarius sun and Leo moon which is the exact opposite to one another... Those with the opposite signs, what is your personality like? I find mine is REALLY split, what about yours? Or your thoughts on this?
Post your Best friend or Closest Friend chart next to yours... & Explain what you feel makes you both great friends..
My Chart:
Sun- Pisc, Moon- Aries, Mer- Aqua, Ven- Aqua, Mars- Leo, Jup- Sag, Sat- Pis
My best friend's (Female and Male)
Female
After reading another thread about aquas ans rejection I'm curious to know, how do you go about rejecting someone?
I was told aquas are passive about doing this and won't tell you upfront if they no longer want to see you.
I mean someone that you'
So I've been seeing this aqua for about 5 months and we had a great, intense connection. Well recently we had what I considered a hiccup.
2 weeks ago we were trying to make plans to see each other before he had to leave for a business trip for a week
(Vent) It's pissing me off how this aqua is taking advantage of my kind nature. He's leading me on but has a gf? I'm not a one night stand or a back up when his cap goes rogue he wants someone to fill the gap just like my gem ex I hate men and I keep want
Sun, Venus and Mercury: Scorpio
Mars: Pisces
Saturn: Cancer
Neptune and Uranus: Aquarius
OK, so I've been "seeing" this Taurus/Gemini cusp guy for about 9 months now. His birthday is May 20. I'm an Aquarius, btw. Let me also add that we've never met in person. We live in different countries. Our "relationship" is mainly online (Skype etc) & t
lol. Anybody up for talking about my Aqua relationship? I thought I'd ask first in case ya'll are not really up for playing therapist :)
So I've been seeing him for about 3 months. We live about 2 hours apart. I hadn't seen my aqua in two weeks and I was going to be in his city. He was leaving for a business trip on Monday and I told him I would be in his city that Saturday. He owns his o
I am a cancer and I feel treated like a doormat by my aqua bf and I just let him get away with all that stuff. I feel that I need to stand up for myself but I'm not sure how to do it. It's mostly classical aqua hot/cold thing going on.
Opinions would be appreciated, thanks!🙂