How to resolve conflict with an Aqua guy

How to resolve conflict with an Aquarius guy if he won't let you both talk about anything remotely veering towards emotions?

I was hurt about something from the last time we saw each other, he made a big production out of wanting to make things right with me. I agreed to see him. He cancelled like he always does. 😢 and now we just aren't communicating great at the moment, i need to discuss things because I feel hurt and he just avoids me the second I say anything remotely serious/emotional I'm not lookingn to go on about it for ages, just want to be heard, resolve things and move on. But he kept making excuses about how busy he is and tired. It's honestly exhausting an boring hearing that all hte time... yet he swears black and blue he wants to knw me, and have me in his life bla bla bla but it doesn't seem that way by actions. How can you resolve something like this? if they won't even tlak to you?

I don't get this. Is he not responding to emotional conversations or not talking to you at all?

Sorry for the confusion. He won't respond to conversations that are emotional sounding. He will reply about other things, but keep saying he's tired and busy as an excuse to not deal with the other things that need to resolve (for things to return to a more harmonious/balanced state). :/ with anyone else they seem compassionate/concerned/receptive if they know your upset and usually understand those kind of things are time sensitive. lol Know Aquarius work differently in this regard and prefer the enough space and time so maybe the other person will get over it/forget mentality.

Speaking from my perspective, are you doing the emo stuff everyday. The fact that he is talking to you means he is not angry with you. Probably wants to avoid emo stuff to feel better (could ne because of some event that he may be thinking about.

I do that too when someone close expects me to be more emo than I am. But, that's how we are. Can't change it easily.

Is this a sudden change in his behavior or something that he has always been?

Ask yourself: Is it fair to me to have to chase after a man that leaves me high and dry when i honestly express how i feel?

He doesnt sound like much of a catch. He sounds like an avoidant asshole that does things to you that make tou emotion, then leaves like a coward when he's held responsible for what he's doing.


That's really not fair. You deserve to be able to express how you feel without feeling like you have to walk on pins and needles to do so. The key word in your post is HURT. He hurt you and expects you to just move on cuz he has without you getting the chance to express how you

What a douche bag.

I think the cancellation is pretty telling. Why do you want to be with someone who consistently cancels on you?

He doesn't want to talk about feelings and emotions, yet you insist on it, so he's probably avoiding you.

is this some kind of a joke?....How long are you going to wait around for him to clean up his act for you?....At what point do you decide enough is enough?....If someone cancels on me their mother had better be dead, I hope for their sake that she is because I don't leave the house to tho fucked around unless there's a human sacrifice involved.

Personally as an aquarian I fucking hate having to be sat down to have the "talk" it fucking infuriates me because I know wherever I go its inevitable that someone will eventually sit me down to have a talk about their feelings.....The thing is I relate everything to me I don't know why its just a facet of who I am, so if you come to me with a feeling you have that needs to be resolved my automatic response is "oh fuck what did I do now?" instead of "this crazy bitch is fucked I'm just gonna nodd and say yes to everything she says so I can get laid tonight"

You need to somehow show him that its in his best interest to practice conflict resolution because we can't realise our potential if we run away shit scared from a little or a lot of emotion.

talks are draining and being drained makes us vulnerable and vulnerability is something we avoid at all costs because we like sitting up where the air is crisp. not drowning in our own self pity

Posted by febaqua


Is this a sudden change in his behavior or something that he has always been?

Think it's just how he is. His ex used to be really demanding emotionally and abusive when they had conflict so guessing it's something to do with past experience. I find it stressful because I'm not emotional in the crying sense, just wanted to discuss an issue and move on so it's not emotional that way. lol that's my logic anyway. Sigh. But of course respect not everyone's communication style is the same - hence coming here to ask 🙂) in case am overreacting.

Doesn't matter what his "history" is. It's just enabling this. If he's serious about his feelings, he'd take it seriously even in baby steps. Even if it means just sitting there while you vent, but he isn't trying to "physically" be in the same room with you.

THis isn't a relationship. It's just convenience for him. You cant spend your life with someone who doesn't wanna hear about how you feel.

Posted by Magenta_Azure


He doesnt sound like much of a catch. He sounds like an avoidant asshole that does things to you that make tou emotion, then leaves like a coward when he's held responsible for what he's doing.


That's really not fair. You deserve to be able to express how you feel without feeling like you have to walk on pins and needles to do so. The key word in your post is HURT. He hurt you and expects you to just move on cuz he has without you getting the chance to express how you

What a douche bag.

I hear you! :/ thank you for being honest and straight up. I really appreciate it. Should prob judge based on actions instead of believing the aquarius hype that sometimes it's not what it seems. Thank you for pointing things out 🙂

Posted by truecap
I think the cancellation is pretty telling. Why do you want to be with someone who consistently cancels on you?

He doesn't want to talk about feelings and emotions, yet you insist on it, so he's probably avoiding you.

Thank you 🙂 You're probably right. He just confuses me by suddenly fighting for me once I try to go away. We both really miss each other, but something isn't right or balanced. I think it's his intimacy issues...which kind of as you say, it's really my prob is not being met halfway. Thank you 🙂

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
is this some kind of a joke?....How long are you going to wait around for him to clean up his act for you?....At what point do you decide enough is enough?....If someone cancels on me their mother had better be dead, I hope for their sake that she is because I don't leave the house to tho fucked around unless there's a human sacrifice involved.

Personally as an aquarian I fucking hate having to be sat down to have the "talk" it fucking infuriates me because I know wherever I go its inevitable that someone will eventually sit me down to have a talk about their feelings.....The thing is I relate everything to me I don't know why its just a facet of who I am, so if you come to me with a feeling you have that needs to be resolved my automatic response is "oh fuck what did I do now?" instead of "this crazy bitch is fucked I'm just gonna nodd and say yes to everything she says so I can get laid tonight"

You need to somehow show him that its in his best interest to practice conflict resolution because we can't realise our potential if we run away shit scared from a little or a lot of emotion.

talks are draining and being drained makes us vulnerable and vulnerability is something we avoid at all costs because we like sitting up where the air is crisp. not drowning in our own self pity

Thank you 🙂 Very true. Thank you for the insightful response. Obviously I've been letting this behviour slide too long, by waiting around hoping if patient he'll come good. Prob doesn't learn anything new that way. Yeah exactly - totally agree regarding showing this person conflict resolution is in best interest. Will have to think on that! lol as the attempts to talk/resolve just seem heavy.

Posted by YellowSubmarine
Do you start bawling when you're emotional? If yes, then that's why he's avoiding you. Aquas can talk about feelings so long as you remain rational and calm.

While I can sympathize with avoiding an emotional scene, because I do the same thing, I DO NOT agree with making plans to talk about it and then cancelling. Anyone that continually makes promises and breaks them is someone that is not worth your time.

No tears, this all happens over text because he's so hard to see in person due to work schedule and general tired/moodiness haha shame as in person, it's really lovely and makes all this communication hassle seem in my head. 😢 I try not to be emotionally demanding in the wording. Just matter of fact. Agree with you completely - if breaking promises becomes a habit, it instills distrust.

Posted by IAmMystified
Doesn't matter what his "history" is. It's just enabling this. If he's serious about his feelings, he'd take it seriously even in baby steps. Even if it means just sitting there while you vent, but he isn't trying to "physically" be in the same room with you.

THis isn't a relationship. It's just convenience for him. You cant spend your life with someone who doesn't wanna hear about how you feel.

Thank you. Yes it is sounding more like an option rather than a priority. Hard to hear, but totally accept that and will remove myself as it seems unhealthy. Like you pointed out, even baby steps make all the difference so you know it's a two way street. - Also srry everyone, have no idea how ot quote all replies at once so there's lots of replies from me 🙂

YOu can't quote multiple quotes unless you type the coding in yourself.

Aquas avoid emotional drama most of the time, even the most mature and adult aqua will do it. But like I said, he isn't even trying to hear you or comfort you in any sense of hte word.

You will just end up going through a relationship where you can't voice how you feel.

It's all about presentation with an aqua. Like Huldra said, have to present it where it's in his best interest. Just make it all about you and not point out what he's done wrong. Maybe say, 'I like our relationship and want it to move forward, but to do that, I need to be able to express my thoughts.' Then present it in a direct, rational, nonemotional and nonaccusing way'. Just do it through a text if you have to.

Best case scenario, he responds in a positive way.
Worse case scenario, he doesn't respond, but at least you've had a chance to get your say in.

He's just a talker and nothing more. evaluate a man's caliber from his actions and not from his words. Period!!