FitNebula
@FitNebula
7 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 180 · Topics: 8
Update to My Aquarius Saga: A Cautionary Tale
I’m no Aqua but I will just let you know that you answered your own question.
You just said “he’s always been this way”
Aquas are fixed signs. You’re gonna have to learn to roll with the punches and not give him a hard time. Why are you changing and expecting so much now that he’s your boyfriend? I know it’s about respect and all but are you happy with him now that he is your boyfriend and your getting the same treatment as when you were fwb?
It seems like it was a better arrangement when there was no arrangement.
You just said “he’s always been this way”
Aquas are fixed signs. You’re gonna have to learn to roll with the punches and not give him a hard time. Why are you changing and expecting so much now that he’s your boyfriend? I know it’s about respect and all but are you happy with him now that he is your boyfriend and your getting the same treatment as when you were fwb?
It seems like it was a better arrangement when there was no arrangement.
You moan too much.
Posted by saggurl88Thanks. You're right, this is who he is and I should just accept it. I mean, neither of us have been in a relationship really before even though we are 26 years old.. maybe since we are both more independent and detached. So I feel like we don't know how to act, at least I don't anyway. I guess I just thought since he wanted me to be his girlfriend, I'd become kind of a priority? But I know he hates obligations and things like that and I don't want to be one.
I’m no Aqua but I will just let you know that you answered your own question.
You just said “he’s always been this way”
Aquas are fixed signs. You’re gonna have to learn to roll with the punches and not give him a hard time. Why are you changing and expecting so much now that he’s your boyfriend? I know it’s about respect and all but are you happy with him now that he is your boyfriend and your getting the same treatment as when you were fwb?
It seems like it was a better arrangement when there was no arrangement.
He does treat me differently than when we were FWB. He makes an effort to make plans with me.. whereas when we were FWB it was more common he would text me to hangout at like 11pm whereas now he asks in advance and invites me out with his friends. Other than that, things haven't changed too much... maybe he's a little more affectionate? I don't know.
Thanks for your insight!
Posted by AerialViewProbably true, lol, thanks.
You moan too much.
Posted by WittyGem88v2Yeah I think I need to be more direct with him.
And this is why I wont get in an rs with an fwb. The adjustment is just way too much.
Anyway, to answer your question, I wont put up with it. I think with aquas you gotta say what you need... A LOT. But also you gotta identify how deep his feelings are for you. Getting in an rs— was it really his idea because he fell for you or was it more like so he doesnt lose the benefits of having you around. There is a difference. And if he doesnt actually feel strongly for you, expect him to continue to be distant and aloof like that. If hes really fallen for you, he will be a different man. 2.5 months in an rs with him— shouldve had some changes. Even at least a little bit.
I mean, the relationship thing was his idea. I told him I had feelings for him and he said he did too. I said we don't need to start a relationship but I just wanted to start dating more seriously. And he said "why not get into a relationship? It would be fun." And then we were but then he decided it was too much and then he came back again and said he made a huge mistake and he did want to be with me and that's what he wanted before.
It's complicated because we have such a long history and yeah I know he has feelings for me -- I'm not sure how deep but he seems to be really into me when we are together. It's just when we are apart I can't really tell I guess. I feel like given our history his feelings for me would be pretty deep since we have been through a lot of ups and downs for the last 7 years, and even before that when we were 13 he wanted to be with me but I rejected him and he wouldn't speak to me for 3 years. I know his feelings were deep back then he said he was in love with me and then when we were 18 he told me he's loved me since we were 13. I dunno it's complicated. But you make some good points, thank you!
Posted by WittyGem88v2Thank you! I agree with everything you said.Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Yeah I think I need to be more direct with him.
And this is why I wont get in an rs with an fwb. The adjustment is just way too much.
Anyway, to answer your question, I wont put up with it. I think with aquas you gotta say what you need... A LOT. But also you gotta identify how deep his feelings are for you. Getting in an rs— was it really his idea because he fell for you or was it more like so he doesnt lose the benefits of having you around. There is a difference. And if he doesnt actually feel strongly for you, expect him to continue to be distant and aloof like that. If hes really fallen for you, he will be a different man. 2.5 months in an rs with him— shouldve had some changes. Even at least a little bit.
I mean, the relationship thing was his idea. I told him I had feelings for him and he said he did too. I said we don't need to start a relationship but I just wanted to start dating more seriously. And he said "why not get into a relationship? It would be fun." And then we were but then he decided it was too much and then he came back again and said he made a huge mistake and he did want to be with me and that's what he wanted before.
It's complicated because we have such a long history and yeah I know he has feelings for me -- I'm not sure how deep but he seems to be really into me when we are together. It's just when we are apart I can't really tell I guess. I feel like given our history his feelings for me would be pretty deep since we have been through a lot of ups and downs for the last 7 years, and even before that when we were 13 he wanted to be with me but I rejected him and he wouldn't speak to me for 3 years. I know his feelings were deep back then he said he was in love with me and then when we were 18 he told me he's loved me since we were 13. I dunno it's complicated. But you make some good points, thank you! click to expand
Communicate what you need from him. Especially if its important to you.
Ive been through an almost similar stage with my aqua. Even if we didnt start as fwb but there was a phase when he was just not there and I felt like i wasnt even in an rs. Told him several times. Nothing. Even went MIA on me for 2 days. HELL NAW. Lol im not one to take that butter. And I know, some told me mirroring him was not the best way. But when I did, he was knocked back to his senses. After that he became more communicative and more present in my life. And we are in LDR.
So the fact that you two are even living close to each other and able to be there physically... know that its supposed to be an opportunity to grow together than grow apart. If anything, you have to feel secured of your rs. And not wondering why what hes giving you doesnt seem enough. Now if he cant live up to the responsibilities of a real bf, be ready to drop him. But dont hate him. Some rs just doesnt work. It happens. Im sure both of you are good people. click to expandclick to expand
And the way you felt about your aqua before is how I feel about mine now, like we are barely in a relationship. And I know it might seem immature, but I also want to just mirror his actions. The next time he texts me to make plans, I want to just ignore it. But then I think, communication is the entire point and that is the opposite of communication. But... then I think he needs to see that maybe I won't always be there like I always have been for him. Maybe I do have a breaking point where enough is enough. I've never really ignored him but maybe I should.
So you ignored your aqua and he got better? Interesting. I have heard they respond to being ignored for some reason.
Thanks for helping me!!! I am so confused!
Don’t let him take you for granted. Being in a relationship means you are working towards a future together.
Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2
And this is why I wont get in an rs with an fwb. The adjustment is just way too much.
Anyway, to answer your question, I wont put up with it. I think with aquas you gotta say what you need... A LOT. But also you gotta identify how deep his feelings are for you. Getting in an rs— was it really his idea because he fell for you or was it more like so he doesnt lose the benefits of having you around. There is a difference. And if he doesnt actually feel strongly for you, expect him to continue to be distant and aloof like that. If hes really fallen for you, he will be a different man. 2.5 months in an rs with him— shouldve had some changes. Even at least a little bit.
Yeah I think I need to be more direct with him.
I mean, the relationship thing was his idea. I told him I had feelings for him and he said he did too. I said we don't need to start a relationship but I just wanted to start dating more seriously. And he said "why not get into a relationship? It would be fun." And then we were but then he decided it was too much and then he came back again and said he made a huge mistake and he did want to be with me and that's what he wanted before.
It's complicated because we have such a long history and yeah I know he has feelings for me -- I'm not sure how deep but he seems to be really into me when we are together. It's just when we are apart I can't really tell I guess. I feel like given our history his feelings for me would be pretty deep since we have been through a lot of ups and downs for the last 7 years, and even before that when we were 13 he wanted to be with me but I rejected him and he wouldn't speak to me for 3 years. I know his feelings were deep back then he said he was in love with me and then when we were 18 he told me he's loved me since we were 13. I dunno it's complicated. But you make some good points, thank you! click to expandclick to expand
I went through the same phase with my aqua.. but we didnt do fwb..
We started as friends, and became very good friends actually and we both confessed our feelings for each other.. but we both r scared of relationship cuz of past experiences.. him especially.. so we decided we gonna take it slow..
Gotta b patient with him.. i know its hard, i am a leo, if i dont get an ans back right away i get pissed.. but now i barely bother when he dont text back..
Mine was aloof too, whenever he would feel too much he will become distant, he told me that because everything happened too fast it was a WTF kinda moment for him.. and trust me they miss u but they just dont know until its too late..
I didnt text him for 2 days straight and said hi on 3rd day and he right away said he missed me why didnt i msg him.. and i was like if u miss me u msg me.. but then he confessed that its hard for them to confess to even come to an agreement with their own feelings
another thing is encourage his positives.. like when u guys talk or meet.. just b like i like it when we do this.. i like it when u take me to this spot.. stuff like that assures them that u r noticing the good things they r doing for u.. he will do it more..
when my aqua do not answer i dont msg him until the next day and just wish him morning and say nothing..he will come back and apologize.. what mine does now is that if he hasnt texted me back and its been 4 5 hrs.. he video calls me and tell me he knows he didnt ans so he want to make sure m not mad and that he wanna hear my voice..
encourage his work.. encourage the sports he play if he does.. or anything.. ask him about his day.. and once in a while just b like "i am here if u need me"
Once he is sure.. there is no going back.. ur aqua doesnt seem like he is sure about rs yet..
well we both arent ready.. but the way we talk we r slowly building and getting there.. plus aquas r scared of commitment and they want to be 100% sure that if this is the one then only they will go full down..
Me and my aqua has only meet once and it was a friendly date... but next time we meet its a date.. and its been 3-4 months we been talking.. so far so good.. never had an argument.. we just dont agree on same things and he respect that about me that i dont give in.. so do i about him..
dont wear urself if he dont ans.. have a life of ur own.. be independent.. give him hints u r doing things.. once he figure u all out he is not excited about u anymore.. surprise him with little qualities of urs once in a while.. but never make him jealous..
Posted by WittyGem88v2Yeah, i don't want to totally ignore him but I never get upset with him or show him that it hurts my feelings when he does that, so I want him to understand that I won't always be there if he keeps acting this way.Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Thank you! I agree with everything you said.Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2
And this is why I wont get in an rs with an fwb. The adjustment is just way too much.
Anyway, to answer your question, I wont put up with it. I think with aquas you gotta say what you need... A LOT. But also you gotta identify how deep his feelings are for you. Getting in an rs— was it really his idea because he fell for you or was it more like so he doesnt lose the benefits of having you around. There is a difference. And if he doesnt actually feel strongly for you, expect him to continue to be distant and aloof like that. If hes really fallen for you, he will be a different man. 2.5 months in an rs with him— shouldve had some changes. Even at least a little bit.
Yeah I think I need to be more direct with him.
I mean, the relationship thing was his idea. I told him I had feelings for him and he said he did too. I said we don't need to start a relationship but I just wanted to start dating more seriously. And he said "why not get into a relationship? It would be fun." And then we were but then he decided it was too much and then he came back again and said he made a huge mistake and he did want to be with me and that's what he wanted before.
It's complicated because we have such a long history and yeah I know he has feelings for me -- I'm not sure how deep but he seems to be really into me when we are together. It's just when we are apart I can't really tell I guess. I feel like given our history his feelings for me would be pretty deep since we have been through a lot of ups and downs for the last 7 years, and even before that when we were 13 he wanted to be with me but I rejected him and he wouldn't speak to me for 3 years. I know his feelings were deep back then he said he was in love with me and then when we were 18 he told me he's loved me since we were 13. I dunno it's complicated. But you make some good points, thank you! click to expand
Communicate what you need from him. Especially if its important to you.
Ive been through an almost similar stage with my aqua. Even if we didnt start as fwb but there was a phase when he was just not there and I felt like i wasnt even in an rs. Told him several times. Nothing. Even went MIA on me for 2 days. HELL NAW. Lol im not one to take that butter. And I know, some told me mirroring him was not the best way. But when I did, he was knocked back to his senses. After that he became more communicative and more present in my life. And we are in LDR.
So the fact that you two are even living close to each other and able to be there physically... know that its supposed to be an opportunity to grow together than grow apart. If anything, you have to feel secured of your rs. And not wondering why what hes giving you doesnt seem enough. Now if he cant live up to the responsibilities of a real bf, be ready to drop him. But dont hate him. Some rs just doesnt work. It happens. Im sure both of you are good people. click to expand
And the way you felt about your aqua before is how I feel about mine now, like we are barely in a relationship. And I know it might seem immature, but I also want to just mirror his actions. The next time he texts me to make plans, I want to just ignore it. But then I think, communication is the entire point and that is the opposite of communication. But... then I think he needs to see that maybe I won't always be there like I always have been for him. Maybe I do have a breaking point where enough is enough. I've never really ignored him but maybe I should.
So you ignored your aqua and he got better? Interesting. I have heard they respond to being ignored for some reason.
Thanks for helping me!!! I am so confused! click to expand
I wouldnt suggest doing it because its risky. You run into the risk that he might break up with you. But you know your man better so just be one step ahead of him when it comes to things. He responded better after I mirrored him. He knew I was ready to walk away. His loss. (Not bragging but that is my state of mind with men. I’m just not one to put up with men if they arent making an effoet. I have no patience lol) Also, dont do anything til you have communicated things with him. Like dont go missing without him knowing there is an underlying issue. I suggest talk to him first. Try to talk maybe 3x and come up with solutions. Like a team. Tell him you know its an adjustment for him and it is to you too. But you wanna make it work. And you need him to be there and make you feel like he is actually your bf. Because if not, whats the whole point of being in an rs. Its supposed to be an exciting next step for both of you. So just maybe talk to him like that. He wont change immediately. He needs to analyze himself and what you said. But observe him. He might even go missing on you again after that. If he does, let him. He will come back with a clearer mind. click to expandclick to expand
Lol I wish I had no patience for men not making an effort. Unfortunately I am extremely patient, forgiving, and laid back... so people know they can really push boundaries (if I even have any lol)
Yeah, I tried to communicate with him but it wasn't a good time the other night when we saw each other. And yeah, I think I need to approach it in an understanding way by telling him I understand it's an adjustment for him (like you said) instead of just saying "hey stop not answering my texts!" lol.
I like what you wrote. Next time I get to see him in person (if ever..) then I'm going to sit him down to talk and say something like what you wrote.
THANK YOU!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Posted by joyranWow funny how similar they can be... lolPosted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Yeah I think I need to be more direct with him.
And this is why I wont get in an rs with an fwb. The adjustment is just way too much.
Anyway, to answer your question, I wont put up with it. I think with aquas you gotta say what you need... A LOT. But also you gotta identify how deep his feelings are for you. Getting in an rs— was it really his idea because he fell for you or was it more like so he doesnt lose the benefits of having you around. There is a difference. And if he doesnt actually feel strongly for you, expect him to continue to be distant and aloof like that. If hes really fallen for you, he will be a different man. 2.5 months in an rs with him— shouldve had some changes. Even at least a little bit.
I mean, the relationship thing was his idea. I told him I had feelings for him and he said he did too. I said we don't need to start a relationship but I just wanted to start dating more seriously. And he said "why not get into a relationship? It would be fun." And then we were but then he decided it was too much and then he came back again and said he made a huge mistake and he did want to be with me and that's what he wanted before.
It's complicated because we have such a long history and yeah I know he has feelings for me -- I'm not sure how deep but he seems to be really into me when we are together. It's just when we are apart I can't really tell I guess. I feel like given our history his feelings for me would be pretty deep since we have been through a lot of ups and downs for the last 7 years, and even before that when we were 13 he wanted to be with me but I rejected him and he wouldn't speak to me for 3 years. I know his feelings were deep back then he said he was in love with me and then when we were 18 he told me he's loved me since we were 13. I dunno it's complicated. But you make some good points, thank you! click to expand
I went through the same phase with my aqua.. but we didnt do fwb..
We started as friends, and became very good friends actually and we both confessed our feelings for each other.. but we both r scared of relationship cuz of past experiences.. him especially.. so we decided we gonna take it slow..
Gotta b patient with him.. i know its hard, i am a leo, if i dont get an ans back right away i get pissed.. but now i barely bother when he dont text back..
Mine was aloof too, whenever he would feel too much he will become distant, he told me that because everything happened too fast it was a WTF kinda moment for him.. and trust me they miss u but they just dont know until its too late..
I didnt text him for 2 days straight and said hi on 3rd day and he right away said he missed me why didnt i msg him.. and i was like if u miss me u msg me.. but then he confessed that its hard for them to confess to even come to an agreement with their own feelings
another thing is encourage his positives.. like when u guys talk or meet.. just b like i like it when we do this.. i like it when u take me to this spot.. stuff like that assures them that u r noticing the good things they r doing for u.. he will do it more..
when my aqua do not answer i dont msg him until the next day and just wish him morning and say nothing..he will come back and apologize.. what mine does now is that if he hasnt texted me back and its been 4 5 hrs.. he video calls me and tell me he knows he didnt ans so he want to make sure m not mad and that he wanna hear my voice..
encourage his work.. encourage the sports he play if he does.. or anything.. ask him about his day.. and once in a while just b like "i am here if u need me"
Once he is sure.. there is no going back.. ur aqua doesnt seem like he is sure about rs yet..
well we both arent ready.. but the way we talk we r slowly building and getting there.. plus aquas r scared of commitment and they want to be 100% sure that if this is the one then only they will go full down..
Me and my aqua has only meet once and it was a friendly date... but next time we meet its a date.. and its been 3-4 months we been talking.. so far so good.. never had an argument.. we just dont agree on same things and he respect that about me that i dont give in.. so do i about him..
dont wear urself if he dont ans.. have a life of ur own.. be independent.. give him hints u r doing things.. once he figure u all out he is not excited about u anymore.. surprise him with little qualities of urs once in a while.. but never make him jealous.. click to expandclick to expand
Thanks your post made me feel better 🙂
Yeah, I think mine is scared of a relationship too. He hasn't had one since a girl he dated about 5 years ago, and she ended up physically attacking him and he had to get a restraining order...
And you're right, I am going to try to be more positive towards him and encourage him more.
It's just hard because this whole thing was his idea and stuff but he's not really making much of an effort... I mean he asks me to hangout more often and makes plans in advance but sometimes he just goes MIA and I don't hear from him for 5 days.. which is OK but then when he blows off plans or doesn't respond to my text I feel really frustrated. It makes me feel needy, but I'm not!! I seriously would feel great about this relationship if we just checked in with each other every 3 days and saw each other 1-2x per week. I like my space too!
As someone else mentioned though, he has always been this way so why would I think he would change? I guess I just thought if he wanted to be in a relationship, he'd make more of an effort or make me a priority? Maybe I'm wrong though.
Sounds like things are going well with your aqua... hope it ends up well too!
Posted by WittyGem88v2Thanks!Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Yeah, i don't want to totally ignore him but I never get upset with him or show him that it hurts my feelings when he does that, so I want him to understand that I won't always be there if he keeps acting this way.Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2
And this is why I wont get in an rs with an fwb. The adjustment is just way too much.
Anyway, to answer your question, I wont put up with it. I think with aquas you gotta say what you need... A LOT. But also you gotta identify how deep his feelings are for you. Getting in an rs— was it really his idea because he fell for you or was it more like so he doesnt lose the benefits of having you around. There is a difference. And if he doesnt actually feel strongly for you, expect him to continue to be distant and aloof like that. If hes really fallen for you, he will be a different man. 2.5 months in an rs with him— shouldve had some changes. Even at least a little bit.
Yeah I think I need to be more direct with him.
I mean, the relationship thing was his idea. I told him I had feelings for him and he said he did too. I said we don't need to start a relationship but I just wanted to start dating more seriously. And he said "why not get into a relationship? It would be fun." And then we were but then he decided it was too much and then he came back again and said he made a huge mistake and he did want to be with me and that's what he wanted before.
It's complicated because we have such a long history and yeah I know he has feelings for me -- I'm not sure how deep but he seems to be really into me when we are together. It's just when we are apart I can't really tell I guess. I feel like given our history his feelings for me would be pretty deep since we have been through a lot of ups and downs for the last 7 years, and even before that when we were 13 he wanted to be with me but I rejected him and he wouldn't speak to me for 3 years. I know his feelings were deep back then he said he was in love with me and then when we were 18 he told me he's loved me since we were 13. I dunno it's complicated. But you make some good points, thank you! click to expand
Communicate what you need from him. Especially if its important to you.
Ive been through an almost similar stage with my aqua. Even if we didnt start as fwb but there was a phase when he was just not there and I felt like i wasnt even in an rs. Told him several times. Nothing. Even went MIA on me for 2 days. HELL NAW. Lol im not one to take that butter. And I know, some told me mirroring him was not the best way. But when I did, he was knocked back to his senses. After that he became more communicative and more present in my life. And we are in LDR.
So the fact that you two are even living close to each other and able to be there physically... know that its supposed to be an opportunity to grow together than grow apart. If anything, you have to feel secured of your rs. And not wondering why what hes giving you doesnt seem enough. Now if he cant live up to the responsibilities of a real bf, be ready to drop him. But dont hate him. Some rs just doesnt work. It happens. Im sure both of you are good people. click to expand
Thank you! I agree with everything you said.
And the way you felt about your aqua before is how I feel about mine now, like we are barely in a relationship. And I know it might seem immature, but I also want to just mirror his actions. The next time he texts me to make plans, I want to just ignore it. But then I think, communication is the entire point and that is the opposite of communication. But... then I think he needs to see that maybe I won't always be there like I always have been for him. Maybe I do have a breaking point where enough is enough. I've never really ignored him but maybe I should.
So you ignored your aqua and he got better? Interesting. I have heard they respond to being ignored for some reason.
Thanks for helping me!!! I am so confused! click to expand
I wouldnt suggest doing it because its risky. You run into the risk that he might break up with you. But you know your man better so just be one step ahead of him when it comes to things. He responded better after I mirrored him. He knew I was ready to walk away. His loss. (Not bragging but that is my state of mind with men. I’m just not one to put up with men if they arent making an effoet. I have no patience lol) Also, dont do anything til you have communicated things with him. Like dont go missing without him knowing there is an underlying issue. I suggest talk to him first. Try to talk maybe 3x and come up with solutions. Like a team. Tell him you know its an adjustment for him and it is to you too. But you wanna make it work. And you need him to be there and make you feel like he is actually your bf. Because if not, whats the whole point of being in an rs. Its supposed to be an exciting next step for both of you. So just maybe talk to him like that. He wont change immediately. He needs to analyze himself and what you said. But observe him. He might even go missing on you again after that. If he does, let him. He will come back with a clearer mind. click to expand
Lol I wish I had no patience for men not making an effort. Unfortunately I am extremely patient, forgiving, and laid back... so people know they can really push boundaries (if I even have any lol)
Yeah, I tried to communicate with him but it wasn't a good time the other night when we saw each other. And yeah, I think I need to approach it in an understanding way by telling him I understand it's an adjustment for him (like you said) instead of just saying "hey stop not answering my texts!" lol.
I like what you wrote. Next time I get to see him in person (if ever..) then I'm going to sit him down to talk and say something like what you wrote.
THANK YOU!!! click to expand
Good luck and keep us posted x click to expandclick to expand
Well he texted me this morning and said “sorry about Friday I went home early from work and got too high”
Lol uhhh I mean it’s nice he apologized but what should I say? I haven’t responded and my gut is to maybe just not respond like he does to me but like you said that’s risky?
Posted by WittyGem88v2Yup trust me that was not even surprising. I kind of figured that's what happened. He gets high often... not really around me but it basically turns him into a zombie and he can't text or anything because he just completely zones out..Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Thanks!Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2
And this is why I wont get in an rs with an fwb. The adjustment is just way too much.
Anyway, to answer your question, I wont put up with it. I think with aquas you gotta say what you need... A LOT. But also you gotta identify how deep his feelings are for you. Getting in an rs— was it really his idea because he fell for you or was it more like so he doesnt lose the benefits of having you around. There is a difference. And if he doesnt actually feel strongly for you, expect him to continue to be distant and aloof like that. If hes really fallen for you, he will be a different man. 2.5 months in an rs with him— shouldve had some changes. Even at least a little bit.
Yeah I think I need to be more direct with him.
I mean, the relationship thing was his idea. I told him I had feelings for him and he said he did too. I said we don't need to start a relationship but I just wanted to start dating more seriously. And he said "why not get into a relationship? It would be fun." And then we were but then he decided it was too much and then he came back again and said he made a huge mistake and he did want to be with me and that's what he wanted before.
It's complicated because we have such a long history and yeah I know he has feelings for me -- I'm not sure how deep but he seems to be really into me when we are together. It's just when we are apart I can't really tell I guess. I feel like given our history his feelings for me would be pretty deep since we have been through a lot of ups and downs for the last 7 years, and even before that when we were 13 he wanted to be with me but I rejected him and he wouldn't speak to me for 3 years. I know his feelings were deep back then he said he was in love with me and then when we were 18 he told me he's loved me since we were 13. I dunno it's complicated. But you make some good points, thank you! click to expand
Communicate what you need from him. Especially if its important to you.
Ive been through an almost similar stage with my aqua. Even if we didnt start as fwb but there was a phase when he was just not there and I felt like i wasnt even in an rs. Told him several times. Nothing. Even went MIA on me for 2 days. HELL NAW. Lol im not one to take that butter. And I know, some told me mirroring him was not the best way. But when I did, he was knocked back to his senses. After that he became more communicative and more present in my life. And we are in LDR.
So the fact that you two are even living close to each other and able to be there physically... know that its supposed to be an opportunity to grow together than grow apart. If anything, you have to feel secured of your rs. And not wondering why what hes giving you doesnt seem enough. Now if he cant live up to the responsibilities of a real bf, be ready to drop him. But dont hate him. Some rs just doesnt work. It happens. Im sure both of you are good people. click to expand
Thank you! I agree with everything you said.
And the way you felt about your aqua before is how I feel about mine now, like we are barely in a relationship. And I know it might seem immature, but I also want to just mirror his actions. The next time he texts me to make plans, I want to just ignore it. But then I think, communication is the entire point and that is the opposite of communication. But... then I think he needs to see that maybe I won't always be there like I always have been for him. Maybe I do have a breaking point where enough is enough. I've never really ignored him but maybe I should.
So you ignored your aqua and he got better? Interesting. I have heard they respond to being ignored for some reason.
Thanks for helping me!!! I am so confused! click to expand
I wouldnt suggest doing it because its risky. You run into the risk that he might break up with you. But you know your man better so just be one step ahead of him when it comes to things. He responded better after I mirrored him. He knew I was ready to walk away. His loss. (Not bragging but that is my state of mind with men. I’m just not one to put up with men if they arent making an effoet. I have no patience lol) Also, dont do anything til you have communicated things with him. Like dont go missing without him knowing there is an underlying issue. I suggest talk to him first. Try to talk maybe 3x and come up with solutions. Like a team. Tell him you know its an adjustment for him and it is to you too. But you wanna make it work. And you need him to be there and make you feel like he is actually your bf. Because if not, whats the whole point of being in an rs. Its supposed to be an exciting next step for both of you. So just maybe talk to him like that. He wont change immediately. He needs to analyze himself and what you said. But observe him. He might even go missing on you again after that. If he does, let him. He will come back with a clearer mind. click to expand
Yeah, i don't want to totally ignore him but I never get upset with him or show him that it hurts my feelings when he does that, so I want him to understand that I won't always be there if he keeps acting this way.
Lol I wish I had no patience for men not making an effort. Unfortunately I am extremely patient, forgiving, and laid back... so people know they can really push boundaries (if I even have any lol)
Yeah, I tried to communicate with him but it wasn't a good time the other night when we saw each other. And yeah, I think I need to approach it in an understanding way by telling him I understand it's an adjustment for him (like you said) instead of just saying "hey stop not answering my texts!" lol.
I like what you wrote. Next time I get to see him in person (if ever..) then I'm going to sit him down to talk and say something like what you wrote.
THANK YOU!!! click to expand
Good luck and keep us posted x click to expand
Well he texted me this morning and said “sorry about Friday I went home early from work and got too high”
Lol uhhh I mean it’s nice he apologized but what should I say? I haven’t responded and my gut is to maybe just not respond like he does to me but like you said that’s risky? click to expand
Hang on. He got too high?? Girl hmmm. I dont wanna be a judgmental cookiemonster but I am not a huge fan of men with vices. Drinking, drugs or gambling.... one way or another they end up screwing their lives and potentially yours too.... hmmmmmm click to expandclick to expand
I still didn't respond to his text message. I don't think I'm going to respond.
Posted by WittyGem88v2Thank you. Do you think I should eventually respond? What should I say? I don't want to be too demanding or needy but it's really not okay with me that he blew off our plans and didn't even tell me because he got too high...Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Yup trust me that was not even surprising. I kind of figured that's what happened. He gets high often... not really around me but it basically turns him into a zombie and he can't text or anything because he just completely zones out..Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2
And this is why I wont get in an rs with an fwb. The adjustment is just way too much.
Anyway, to answer your question, I wont put up with it. I think with aquas you gotta say what you need... A LOT. But also you gotta identify how deep his feelings are for you. Getting in an rs— was it really his idea because he fell for you or was it more like so he doesnt lose the benefits of having you around. There is a difference. And if he doesnt actually feel strongly for you, expect him to continue to be distant and aloof like that. If hes really fallen for you, he will be a different man. 2.5 months in an rs with him— shouldve had some changes. Even at least a little bit.
Yeah I think I need to be more direct with him.
I mean, the relationship thing was his idea. I told him I had feelings for him and he said he did too. I said we don't need to start a relationship but I just wanted to start dating more seriously. And he said "why not get into a relationship? It would be fun." And then we were but then he decided it was too much and then he came back again and said he made a huge mistake and he did want to be with me and that's what he wanted before.
It's complicated because we have such a long history and yeah I know he has feelings for me -- I'm not sure how deep but he seems to be really into me when we are together. It's just when we are apart I can't really tell I guess. I feel like given our history his feelings for me would be pretty deep since we have been through a lot of ups and downs for the last 7 years, and even before that when we were 13 he wanted to be with me but I rejected him and he wouldn't speak to me for 3 years. I know his feelings were deep back then he said he was in love with me and then when we were 18 he told me he's loved me since we were 13. I dunno it's complicated. But you make some good points, thank you! click to expand
Communicate what you need from him. Especially if its important to you.
Ive been through an almost similar stage with my aqua. Even if we didnt start as fwb but there was a phase when he was just not there and I felt like i wasnt even in an rs. Told him several times. Nothing. Even went MIA on me for 2 days. HELL NAW. Lol im not one to take that butter. And I know, some told me mirroring him was not the best way. But when I did, he was knocked back to his senses. After that he became more communicative and more present in my life. And we are in LDR.
So the fact that you two are even living close to each other and able to be there physically... know that its supposed to be an opportunity to grow together than grow apart. If anything, you have to feel secured of your rs. And not wondering why what hes giving you doesnt seem enough. Now if he cant live up to the responsibilities of a real bf, be ready to drop him. But dont hate him. Some rs just doesnt work. It happens. Im sure both of you are good people. click to expand
Thank you! I agree with everything you said.
And the way you felt about your aqua before is how I feel about mine now, like we are barely in a relationship. And I know it might seem immature, but I also want to just mirror his actions. The next time he texts me to make plans, I want to just ignore it. But then I think, communication is the entire point and that is the opposite of communication. But... then I think he needs to see that maybe I won't always be there like I always have been for him. Maybe I do have a breaking point where enough is enough. I've never really ignored him but maybe I should.
So you ignored your aqua and he got better? Interesting. I have heard they respond to being ignored for some reason.
Thanks for helping me!!! I am so confused! click to expand
I wouldnt suggest doing it because its risky. You run into the risk that he might break up with you. But you know your man better so just be one step ahead of him when it comes to things. He responded better after I mirrored him. He knew I was ready to walk away. His loss. (Not bragging but that is my state of mind with men. I’m just not one to put up with men if they arent making an effoet. I have no patience lol) Also, dont do anything til you have communicated things with him. Like dont go missing without him knowing there is an underlying issue. I suggest talk to him first. Try to talk maybe 3x and come up with solutions. Like a team. Tell him you know its an adjustment for him and it is to you too. But you wanna make it work. And you need him to be there and make you feel like he is actually your bf. Because if not, whats the whole point of being in an rs. Its supposed to be an exciting next step for both of you. So just maybe talk to him like that. He wont change immediately. He needs to analyze himself and what you said. But observe him. He might even go missing on you again after that. If he does, let him. He will come back with a clearer mind. click to expand
Yeah, i don't want to totally ignore him but I never get upset with him or show him that it hurts my feelings when he does that, so I want him to understand that I won't always be there if he keeps acting this way.
Lol I wish I had no patience for men not making an effort. Unfortunately I am extremely patient, forgiving, and laid back... so people know they can really push boundaries (if I even have any lol)
Yeah, I tried to communicate with him but it wasn't a good time the other night when we saw each other. And yeah, I think I need to approach it in an understanding way by telling him I understand it's an adjustment for him (like you said) instead of just saying "hey stop not answering my texts!" lol.
I like what you wrote. Next time I get to see him in person (if ever..) then I'm going to sit him down to talk and say something like what you wrote.
THANK YOU!!! click to expand
Good luck and keep us posted x click to expand
Thanks!
Well he texted me this morning and said “sorry about Friday I went home early from work and got too high”
Lol uhhh I mean it’s nice he apologized but what should I say? I haven’t responded and my gut is to maybe just not respond like he does to me but like you said that’s risky? click to expand
Hang on. He got too high?? Girl hmmm. I dont wanna be a judgmental cookiemonster but I am not a huge fan of men with vices. Drinking, drugs or gambling.... one way or another they end up screwing their lives and potentially yours too.... hmmmmmm click to expand
I still didn't respond to his text message. I don't think I'm going to respond. click to expand
Yeah. Dont respond to him for now. How young are you? Coz if you are in your 20’s... well i’d like to share something i learned now that i’m turning 30... dont get a guy with issues. Cant fix those types no matter how much love we give them. I did it before. In the end i was the one broken. click to expandclick to expand
I know he thinks it's okay because he has done it in the past and I forgive him.
He's always smoked a lot of weed, for as long as I've known him....
Posted by WittyGem88v2That's a good point. I always forgive him, but not this time.
@fitnebula — dont text him. If hes really sorry he should come to your house and see you. Its not a very good sign that he chooses to get high than spend time with you. Do you really want that kind of guy in your life?
Be his bestfriend,you just got in a relationship with him 2-3months is way too soon with an aqua even if your friends in the past,the way to lose him fast is to smother him and make big issues of little things like time for you,if his making an effort in giving you even a little time then he really likes you(aquas value time),go with his pace,for an air sign aquas are like taurus in a way they take their time in getting to know you in an intimate way but you would never know😉,im telling you my gf pissed me off with(why didnt you msg me all day if you got the time?why didnt you reply fast?what are you doing?that kinda shit,she is a scorp so i pretty much understand but she is giving me a lot of space now still when she keeps on saying you didnt msg me you dont love me anymore i feel i want to break up,in my mind im like "im chatting right now arent i?im calling you every 2 days do i?so what do you want from me woman?my world doesnt spin on my lovelife i have a business and a lot of thinking to do,if i dont really love this woman i will break up with her,but i swear to god she would be my last for awhile after her im going to be single for a long time😧,aquas world doesnt revolve around finding his/her true love they value work,friends,family,i know a lot of single aquas,your lucky he seems to really like you just dont smother him and question the things his doing,he will open up with you little by little because aquas have a hard time to communicate,best of luck😄
Posted by Aquarius3189Thanks this is encouraging coming from an aqua male lol.
Be his bestfriend,you just got in a relationship with him 2-3months is way too soon with an aqua even if your friends in the past,the way to lose him fast is to smother him and make big issues of little things like time for you,if his making an effort in giving you even a little time then he really likes you(aquas value time),go with his pace,for an air sign aquas are like taurus in a way they take their time in getting to know you in an intimate way but you would never know😉,im telling you my gf pissed me off with(why didnt you msg me all day if you got the time?why didnt you reply fast?what are you doing?that kinda butter,she is a scorp so i pretty much understand but she is giving me a lot of space now still when she keeps on saying you didnt msg me you dont love me anymore i feel i want to break up,in my mind im like "im chatting right now arent i?im calling you every 2 days do i?so what do you want from me woman?my world doesnt spin on my lovelife i have a business and a lot of thinking to do,if i dont really love this woman i will break up with her,but i swear to god she would be my last for awhile after her im going to be single for a long time😧,aquas world doesnt revolve around finding his/her true love they value work,friends,family,i know a lot of single aquas,your lucky he seems to really like you just dont smother him and question the things his doing,he will open up with you little by little because aquas have a hard time to communicate,best of luck😄
And wow yeah see I might think the things your gf says to you in my head but I'd never say them to my aqua cuz I know he would get annoyed lol.
So maybe I am being too harsh by ignoring his apology message? But he did stand me up because he got too high and didn't even apologize or say anything for 3 days!
If you did that to your gf and apologized how would you want her to respond? How should I respond? I want him to know it's not okay... but I don't want to smother him or be mean either.
Thank you for your perspective!
I was with a guy for a short time that had to get high to get through life
He was a stoner.....I never felt he connected with me because he was "somewhere else"
Big no no for me
👎🏻
He was a stoner.....I never felt he connected with me because he was "somewhere else"
Big no no for me
👎🏻
Posted by WittyGem88v2So true........been there, done that....drinkers, stoners, gamblersPosted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Thanks!Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2Posted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2
And this is why I wont get in an rs with an fwb. The adjustment is just way too much.
Anyway, to answer your question, I wont put up with it. I think with aquas you gotta say what you need... A LOT. But also you gotta identify how deep his feelings are for you. Getting in an rs— was it really his idea because he fell for you or was it more like so he doesnt lose the benefits of having you around. There is a difference. And if he doesnt actually feel strongly for you, expect him to continue to be distant and aloof like that. If hes really fallen for you, he will be a different man. 2.5 months in an rs with him— shouldve had some changes. Even at least a little bit.
Yeah I think I need to be more direct with him.
I mean, the relationship thing was his idea. I told him I had feelings for him and he said he did too. I said we don't need to start a relationship but I just wanted to start dating more seriously. And he said "why not get into a relationship? It would be fun." And then we were but then he decided it was too much and then he came back again and said he made a huge mistake and he did want to be with me and that's what he wanted before.
It's complicated because we have such a long history and yeah I know he has feelings for me -- I'm not sure how deep but he seems to be really into me when we are together. It's just when we are apart I can't really tell I guess. I feel like given our history his feelings for me would be pretty deep since we have been through a lot of ups and downs for the last 7 years, and even before that when we were 13 he wanted to be with me but I rejected him and he wouldn't speak to me for 3 years. I know his feelings were deep back then he said he was in love with me and then when we were 18 he told me he's loved me since we were 13. I dunno it's complicated. But you make some good points, thank you! click to expand
Communicate what you need from him. Especially if its important to you.
Ive been through an almost similar stage with my aqua. Even if we didnt start as fwb but there was a phase when he was just not there and I felt like i wasnt even in an rs. Told him several times. Nothing. Even went MIA on me for 2 days. HELL NAW. Lol im not one to take that butter. And I know, some told me mirroring him was not the best way. But when I did, he was knocked back to his senses. After that he became more communicative and more present in my life. And we are in LDR.
So the fact that you two are even living close to each other and able to be there physically... know that its supposed to be an opportunity to grow together than grow apart. If anything, you have to feel secured of your rs. And not wondering why what hes giving you doesnt seem enough. Now if he cant live up to the responsibilities of a real bf, be ready to drop him. But dont hate him. Some rs just doesnt work. It happens. Im sure both of you are good people. click to expand
Thank you! I agree with everything you said.
And the way you felt about your aqua before is how I feel about mine now, like we are barely in a relationship. And I know it might seem immature, but I also want to just mirror his actions. The next time he texts me to make plans, I want to just ignore it. But then I think, communication is the entire point and that is the opposite of communication. But... then I think he needs to see that maybe I won't always be there like I always have been for him. Maybe I do have a breaking point where enough is enough. I've never really ignored him but maybe I should.
So you ignored your aqua and he got better? Interesting. I have heard they respond to being ignored for some reason.
Thanks for helping me!!! I am so confused! click to expand
I wouldnt suggest doing it because its risky. You run into the risk that he might break up with you. But you know your man better so just be one step ahead of him when it comes to things. He responded better after I mirrored him. He knew I was ready to walk away. His loss. (Not bragging but that is my state of mind with men. I’m just not one to put up with men if they arent making an effoet. I have no patience lol) Also, dont do anything til you have communicated things with him. Like dont go missing without him knowing there is an underlying issue. I suggest talk to him first. Try to talk maybe 3x and come up with solutions. Like a team. Tell him you know its an adjustment for him and it is to you too. But you wanna make it work. And you need him to be there and make you feel like he is actually your bf. Because if not, whats the whole point of being in an rs. Its supposed to be an exciting next step for both of you. So just maybe talk to him like that. He wont change immediately. He needs to analyze himself and what you said. But observe him. He might even go missing on you again after that. If he does, let him. He will come back with a clearer mind. click to expand
Yeah, i don't want to totally ignore him but I never get upset with him or show him that it hurts my feelings when he does that, so I want him to understand that I won't always be there if he keeps acting this way.
Lol I wish I had no patience for men not making an effort. Unfortunately I am extremely patient, forgiving, and laid back... so people know they can really push boundaries (if I even have any lol)
Yeah, I tried to communicate with him but it wasn't a good time the other night when we saw each other. And yeah, I think I need to approach it in an understanding way by telling him I understand it's an adjustment for him (like you said) instead of just saying "hey stop not answering my texts!" lol.
I like what you wrote. Next time I get to see him in person (if ever..) then I'm going to sit him down to talk and say something like what you wrote.
THANK YOU!!! click to expand
Good luck and keep us posted x click to expand
Well he texted me this morning and said “sorry about Friday I went home early from work and got too high”
Lol uhhh I mean it’s nice he apologized but what should I say? I haven’t responded and my gut is to maybe just not respond like he does to me but like you said that’s risky? click to expand
Hang on. He got too high?? Girl hmmm. I dont wanna be a judgmental bitch but I am not a huge fan of men with vices. Drinking, drugs or gambling.... one way or another they end up screwing their lives and potentially yours too.... hmmmmmm click to expandclick to expand
No way Jose
Posted by MyStarsShine
I was with a guy for a short time that had to get high to get through life
He was a stoner.....I never felt he connected with me because he was "somewhere else"
Big no no for me
👎🏻
Yup, me too! Soo stoned he never wanted to do anything, felt no connection to him and he was emotionally abusive. Guys who need pot, alcohol to get through their day... well, guess who will always come second or third in their life? Best to move on sweety, you can do much better.
Posted by vixen14Hmm how am I being illogical though? If you were in a relationship with someone who was supposed to show up to come with you to a work party, and they decided to get so high that they couldn’t show up or even let you know they weren’t coming, and then you didn’t even hear back from them for 4 days, you’re saying you wouldn’t even be upset or annoyed? How is it illogical that I am rethinking being with someone who I never know if he will even show up or get in touch to tell me he’s blowing off our plans? I mean that’s just totally disrespectful and rudePosted by AerialView
You moan too much.
Don’t all libras?
I think it was established Libras are the water signs of the zodiac. Sometimes scorpios seem more logical than a damn Leeb 😒 click to expandclick to expand
Posted by MoonbutterUgh thanks you make a good point. I’ve never thought of him as needing pot or alcohol to get through his day but he’s blown me off because of weed and video games multiple times. It’s hard but I might have to break up with him. Thanks for all your help!Posted by MyStarsShine
I was with a guy for a short time that had to get high to get through life
He was a stoner.....I never felt he connected with me because he was "somewhere else"
Big no no for me
👎🏻
Yup, me too! Soo stoned he never wanted to do anything, felt no connection to him and he was emotionally abusive. Guys who need pot, alcohol to get through their day... well, guess who will always come second or third in their life? Best to move on sweety, you can do much better. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by FitNebulaWhen mine went MIA on me, i didnt know what i did or said to make him do that. We were talking just fine, and then next day no msg nothing at all.. but i kept my cool and kept texting him.. did not bombard his phone with txts.. it was mostly good morning or i hope ur day went well and good night.. if he ans back good if not then i started new day with good morning again..Posted by joyranPosted by FitNebulaPosted by WittyGem88v2
And this is why I wont get in an rs with an fwb. The adjustment is just way too much.
Anyway, to answer your question, I wont put up with it. I think with aquas you gotta say what you need... A LOT. But also you gotta identify how deep his feelings are for you. Getting in an rs— was it really his idea because he fell for you or was it more like so he doesnt lose the benefits of having you around. There is a difference. And if he doesnt actually feel strongly for you, expect him to continue to be distant and aloof like that. If hes really fallen for you, he will be a different man. 2.5 months in an rs with him— shouldve had some changes. Even at least a little bit.
Yeah I think I need to be more direct with him.
I mean, the relationship thing was his idea. I told him I had feelings for him and he said he did too. I said we don't need to start a relationship but I just wanted to start dating more seriously. And he said "why not get into a relationship? It would be fun." And then we were but then he decided it was too much and then he came back again and said he made a huge mistake and he did want to be with me and that's what he wanted before.
It's complicated because we have such a long history and yeah I know he has feelings for me -- I'm not sure how deep but he seems to be really into me when we are together. It's just when we are apart I can't really tell I guess. I feel like given our history his feelings for me would be pretty deep since we have been through a lot of ups and downs for the last 7 years, and even before that when we were 13 he wanted to be with me but I rejected him and he wouldn't speak to me for 3 years. I know his feelings were deep back then he said he was in love with me and then when we were 18 he told me he's loved me since we were 13. I dunno it's complicated. But you make some good points, thank you! click to expand
I went through the same phase with my aqua.. but we didnt do fwb..
We started as friends, and became very good friends actually and we both confessed our feelings for each other.. but we both r scared of relationship cuz of past experiences.. him especially.. so we decided we gonna take it slow..
Gotta b patient with him.. i know its hard, i am a leo, if i dont get an ans back right away i get pissed.. but now i barely bother when he dont text back..
Mine was aloof too, whenever he would feel too much he will become distant, he told me that because everything happened too fast it was a WTF kinda moment for him.. and trust me they miss u but they just dont know until its too late..
I didnt text him for 2 days straight and said hi on 3rd day and he right away said he missed me why didnt i msg him.. and i was like if u miss me u msg me.. but then he confessed that its hard for them to confess to even come to an agreement with their own feelings
another thing is encourage his positives.. like when u guys talk or meet.. just b like i like it when we do this.. i like it when u take me to this spot.. stuff like that assures them that u r noticing the good things they r doing for u.. he will do it more..
when my aqua do not answer i dont msg him until the next day and just wish him morning and say nothing..he will come back and apologize.. what mine does now is that if he hasnt texted me back and its been 4 5 hrs.. he video calls me and tell me he knows he didnt ans so he want to make sure m not mad and that he wanna hear my voice..
encourage his work.. encourage the sports he play if he does.. or anything.. ask him about his day.. and once in a while just b like "i am here if u need me"
Once he is sure.. there is no going back.. ur aqua doesnt seem like he is sure about rs yet..
well we both arent ready.. but the way we talk we r slowly building and getting there.. plus aquas r scared of commitment and they want to be 100% sure that if this is the one then only they will go full down..
Me and my aqua has only meet once and it was a friendly date... but next time we meet its a date.. and its been 3-4 months we been talking.. so far so good.. never had an argument.. we just dont agree on same things and he respect that about me that i dont give in.. so do i about him..
dont wear urself if he dont ans.. have a life of ur own.. be independent.. give him hints u r doing things.. once he figure u all out he is not excited about u anymore.. surprise him with little qualities of urs once in a while.. but never make him jealous.. click to expand
Wow funny how similar they can be... lol
Thanks your post made me feel better
Yeah, I think mine is scared of a relationship too. He hasn't had one since a girl he dated about 5 years ago, and she ended up physically attacking him and he had to get a restraining order...
And you're right, I am going to try to be more positive towards him and encourage him more.
It's just hard because this whole thing was his idea and stuff but he's not really making much of an effort... I mean he asks me to hangout more often and makes plans in advance but sometimes he just goes MIA and I don't hear from him for 5 days.. which is OK but then when he blows off plans or doesn't respond to my text I feel really frustrated. It makes me feel needy, but I'm not!! I seriously would feel great about this relationship if we just checked in with each other every 3 days and saw each other 1-2x per week. I like my space too!
As someone else mentioned though, he has always been this way so why would I think he would change? I guess I just thought if he wanted to be in a relationship, he'd make more of an effort or make me a priority? Maybe I'm wrong though.
Sounds like things are going well with your aqua... hope it ends up well too! click to expandclick to expand
once they see the consistency and care.. they will make u their priority.. but because aquas are doing so much all at once.. m pretty sure ur aqua is hella busy.. mine gets busy and forgets about things he said we were gonna do.. like we watch movies or games.. he plays it on his side and i do on mine and we call on the side.. but sometimes he forgets about his own plans.. so i simply ask him an hour ahead of time if he is gonna b able to watch the movie of if he is busy with school or friends or work.. that to him is world cuz he has options now.. he can choose, but he knows u r independent and u giving him independence too.. if u try to put him in the corner and be like nah we going and u have no choice he will do it but now he will feel suffocated..
if u feel like u need to pull back a little.. do it.. i did it too.. but in the most politest way.. when he was distant for like 2 weeks.. i just told him that i understand if he does not want to talk and its okay, sometimes we need time off from people.. so i will b around if u need me.. and i am sorry if i crossed my line in someway that offended u or something...
he answered back right away explaining why he was being distant (explained in previous post).. but i did not read his msg for full day.. that made him anxious and it scared him a bit too.. maybe try this? msg him and then go MIA on him.. worked for me.. i did it cuz i was pissed but i didnt want to hurt him so i didnt confront him..
and lastly, u cant change aquas.. never happening.. all u can do is stand ur ground and let them see u.. once an aqua is truly in love u wont need to change him he will show his true side to u..
Patience is the key..
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