Aries and Second Chances

So iv'e been seeing quite a few "How can I get my Aries back" threads and well, the short answer is, you can't. However, if you are determined and "you can't" just doesn't work for you, here's the loooooooong answer.


Firstly you must evaluate the situation. What sort of infraction caused aforementioned breakup? Was it a tiny tif, a slighy slip of the tongue or something more serious like cheating, or some other attack on his ego? We tend to be able to get over bickering and harsh words. Unlike some other signs I will not name today coughVIRGOScough we can dish and we can take it so bring it on! However, if you hurt our ego, then we have a major problem.

For me personally I am always looking for what I call a "powerplay". For instance, you like a guy, you tell him you like him, he disses you in front of everyone, maybe even politely, then months later, you still kinda like him, and he starts to like you, he asks you out in front of everyone this time, what do you do? YOU DISS HIM IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! You can't hurt our ego and expect to be let off easily! We let most things go but a blow to our gargantuan egos is an unforgivable sin.

Did I mention I have ADHD and am batshit crazy and forgot wtf I was talking about? Yeah well happy New Years!

Oookay weirdo.

I'm usually down to give a second chance. If someone gives me their side of things and is genuinely apologizing, I have no problem giving a second chance.

It's when they blow that second chance that I make them feel like they don't exist. I mean really, if you're given a second chance and you blow it, well you can just go rot in hell. 🙂

Begin a relationships the way you want it to develop.

If you like an Aries for a relationship, don't go for FWB or friendship. Ulterior motives drive them crazy

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Oookay weirdo.

I'm usually down to give a second chance. If someone gives me their side of things and is genuinely apologizing, I have no problem giving a second chance.

It's when they blow that second chance that I make them feel like they don't exist. I mean really, if you're given a second chance and you blow it, well you can just go rot in hell. 🙂

I feel like we give lots of chances but when it is actually over for us it is actually over for us. My leo still calls me from time to time with a trembling voice checking in on me and all I do is crush his little heart. We were together for 6 years, and broken up for about 2. Don't want anything do with that fella.

If you like an Aries for a relationship, don't go for FWB or friendship. Ulterior motives drive them crazy

Damnata what is the ulterior motive within these? If you honest about wanting these things before going inot relationship with an aries then how is that ulterior motive?

Posted by miha

Posted by Damnata
Begin a relationships the way you want it to develop.

If you like an Aries for a relationship, don't go for FWB or friendship. Ulterior motives drive them crazy

what does this has to do with any of the above comments...—

and now really....how do i make this aries man stop ever contacting me agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain. it's getting on my nerves...i yelled at him, i ignored him, i was disgustingly friendly, i was disgustingly aloof, i was impolite to him, i was polite to him.....ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nothing works...i started hating it.

ok, i'll start a new thread about this

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You're being overdramatic. If you want him out of your life change your number, block him on anything and go silent. Even if he appears in front of you on the street, act like you never met him before.

It's really simple

Posted by mfwb55
If you like an Aries for a relationship, don't go for FWB or friendship. Ulterior motives drive them crazy

Damnata what is the ulterior motive within these? If you honest about wanting these things before going inot relationship with an aries then how is that ulterior motive?

As I said, if you want one thing, go for that thing. Don't change the rules mid game

e.g : start a fwb with an aries and hope it will turn into a relationship.

I agree feb but moreso for the fire signs, IMO

Lol, ok

I spent about ten years married to an Aries male and while much of it was heavenly, enough of it was hellish enough that I've never looked back or even considered touching base with him since parting ways. He, on the other hand, called numerous times and sent some truly epic "hate emails" once it became clear I would not consider reconciliation.

*shrugs* Aries boys really like Libra love. Too bad they don't take better care of it.

Posted by CreoleGeisha
I spent about ten years married to an Aries male and while much of it was heavenly, enough of it was hellish enough that I've never looked back or even considered touching base with him since parting ways. He, on the other hand, called numerous times and sent some truly epic "hate emails" once it became clear I would not consider reconciliation.

*shrugs* Aries boys really like Libra love. Too bad they don't take better care of it.

Yeah, we won't get the hint right away but eventually we do. Also I like to believe that I have learned to take better care of my loves, we do tend to be pretty rough. Sorry about your relationship love

Posted by aressupreme

Posted by CreoleGeisha
I spent about ten years married to an Aries male and while much of it was heavenly, enough of it was hellish enough that I've never looked back or even considered touching base with him since parting ways. He, on the other hand, called numerous times and sent some truly epic "hate emails" once it became clear I would not consider reconciliation.

*shrugs* Aries boys really like Libra love. Too bad they don't take better care of it.

Yeah, we won't get the hint right away but eventually we do.

LOL...I chalk it up to ego. Aries ego is verrrry healthy. I suspect it was impossible for him to believe I didn't want him back.

Also I like to believe that I have learned to take better care of my loves, we do tend to be pretty rough.

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Good for you! For the record, my favorite cousin and lifelong friend is an Aries male. He treats his wife and kids like gold. Aries are nothing if not stimulating company.

Sorry about your relationship love

Thank you. It was a while ago.

Miha, how about you just go ahead and read that thread you said you needed to start about getting rid of an Aries man instead of hijacking this thread and attacking Damnata....
Oh wait, you deleted it.

aressupreme I agree with you on the original post. It really depends on what happened. But the biggest thing is sometimes when we move on we move on for good. No looking back.

Miha, Damnata is speaking the truth and nothing but the truth. It is really simple, I mean aside from the extreme of getting a restraining order the best thing to do is ignore. No BIG deal, super simple, super easy. Case closed.

Posted by aressupreme

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Oookay weirdo.

I'm usually down to give a second chance. If someone gives me their side of things and is genuinely apologizing, I have no problem giving a second chance.

It's when they blow that second chance that I make them feel like they don't exist. I mean really, if you're given a second chance and you blow it, well you can just go rot in hell. 🙂

I feel like we give lots of chances but when it is actually over for us it is actually over for us. My leo still calls me from time to time with a trembling voice checking in on me and all I do is crush his little heart. We were together for 6 years, and broken up for about 2. Don't want anything do with that fella.

click to expand

lol

Second chances....... Hmmmm

Is it considered a second chance if he leaves and keeps coming back?

Eh... i dunno iv'e done the leave and keep coming back right away thing, but eventually I'm completely over the song and dance and my feelings subside.

It's considered a second chance if he leaves and YOU keep letting him come back.

Ok.... It's not actually leaving.... It's like we get into little fights and don't speak to each other for days. Then eventually he does something so that I speak to him, again. .. or he's needs his space. Same for me...., but you're not really leaving if you're not in a committed relationship.... Right?

My question is this: If Aries have such big ego's and are always worried about THEIR feelings...why is it okay for them to disregard everyone else's feelings, but then they can't handle it when their feelings are compromised...what's up with that? I wouldn't give a good god-dang what your horoscope is and what kinda personality you have, you should treat people like you want to be treated and not hide behind your sign or use it as an excuse for bad behavior!! especially as you mature. At what point do you grow up and stop acting like a damn baby!! Pretty simple to me....Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.....right? but then again, I am a Libra...Fair is Fair-🙂

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So Iv'e been seeing quite a few "How can I get my Aries back threads and well, the short answer is, you can't. However, if you are determined and "you can't" just doesn't work for you, here's the loooooooong answer.

Firstly you must evaluate the situation. What sort of infraction caused aforementioned breakup? Was it a tiny tif, a slighy slip of the tongue or something more serious like cheating, or some other attack on his ego? We tend to be able to get over bickering and harsh words. Unlike some other signs I will not name today coughVIRGOScough we can dish and we can take it so bring it on! However, if you hurt our ego, then we have a major problem.

For me personally I am always looking for what I call a "powerplay". For instance, you like a guy, you tell him you like him, he disses you in front of everyone, maybe even politely, then months later, you still kinda like him, and he starts to like you, he asks you out in front of everyone this time, what do you do? YOU DISS HIM IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! You can't hurt our ego and expect to be let off easily! We let most things go but a blow to our gargantuan egos is an unforgivable sin.

Did I mention I have ADHD and am batshit crazy and forgot wtf I was talking about? Yeah well happy New Years!

Posted by LIb4Life
My question is this: If Aries have such big ego's and are always worried about THEIR feelings...

Lol coming from a Libra. Your lot is guilty of this quite often as well. You just hide it under the guise of trying to be "fair." Just sayin'.

Posted by LIb4Life
I wouldn't give a good god-dang what your horoscope is

click to expand

It's "star sign" not "horoscope."

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by LIb4Life
My question is this: If Aries have such big ego's and are always worried about THEIR feelings...

Lol coming from a Libra. Your lot is guilty of this quite often as well. You just hide it under the guise of trying to be "fair." Just sayin'.

Posted by LIb4Life
I wouldn't give a good god-dang what your horoscope is

It's "star sign" not "horoscope."

click to expand

I have actually experienced this exact thing with a Libra. Won't hold it against them but next time I know to meticulous when evaluating their authenticity. Their charm can be utterly confusing.

Posted by LIb4Life
My question is this: If Aries have such big ego's and are always worried about THEIR feelings...why is it okay for them to disregard everyone else's feelings, but then they can't handle it when their feelings are compromised...what's up with that? I wouldn't give a good god-dang what your horoscope is and what kinda personality you have, you should treat people like you want to be treated and not hide behind your sign or use it as an excuse for bad behavior!! especially as you mature. At what point do you grow up and stop acting like a damn baby!! Pretty simple to me....Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.....right? but then again, I am a Libra...Fair is Fair-🙂

I don't know if you are speaking to me directly or in general? I'm not this Aries you've described either way. I treat my current relationship like an expensive fragile antique, watching over it and caring for it delicately.

No aressupreme, I wasn't talking too you directly. You seem to be a very pleasant and honest Aries. Also, I am not generalizing all Aries...just the one's that I interact with, so I should have said that from the beginning. My apology-🙂. I have several Aries family members....men and women and they are all very good people. I love them MAJORLY. It's just a trend that I see in all of them. It's okay to be opinionated and speak your mind because I am the same way, but I try to be tactful in my words. Now, I know, and have been told that's a Libra thing...lol, but they are the main one's who's feeling are hurt when I say something out of my so called "Libra character". Even though I always speak my mind, they don't like it when they presume I said something that may have hurt their feelings, and remember,all of this is after they beat someone down with their words.

My question is this: If Aries have such big ego's and are always worried about THEIR feelings...

Lol coming from a Libra. Your lot is guilty of this quite often as well. You just hide it under the guise of trying to be "fair." Just sayin'.

I wouldn't give a good god-dang what your horoscope is
It's "star sign" not "horoscope."
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Okay....rockyroadicecream~~ star sing, sun sign, horoscope, zodiac, born day...whateverrrrr...all the same..lol, but I don't recall ever purposely hurting someone's feelings. If I did, trust me, I was probably pushed, and probably by an ARIES..lol...just kidding. Like I said, I adore Aries people because of their honesty, positiveness and fun loving ways. I just think if you can dish it, be able to take it, which some Aries folks can, so maybe it has a lot to do with the rest of their personality like maybe their rising sign, and again..my disclaimer is....I can only speak about the one's that I interact with.

Posted by aressupreme

I have actually experienced this exact thing with a Libra. Won't hold it against them but next time I know to meticulous when evaluating their authenticity. Their charm can be utterly confusing.

Agreed. Overall, I don't doubt they want well and mean well for their loved ones/those that they care about, but a lot of their choices are based on THEIR inability to face conflict. So in trying to be fair, they're thinking how it best works for them to handle the situation, not how it best affects the other. Usually, it's avoidance of any sort of conflict or not so nice feelings. It's why they tend to white lie, people please, etc. It's not exactly helpful all around. Makes it really hard to trust individuals who base their choices off what it makes them look like as opposed to what's actually best.

Posted by LIb4Life
but I don't recall ever purposely hurting someone's feelings.

Same applies with Aries folk, dear.

I have actually experienced this exact thing with a Libra. Won't hold it against them but next time I know to meticulous when evaluating their authenticity. Their charm can be utterly confusing.

Agreed. Overall, I don't doubt they want well and mean well for their loved ones/those that they care about, but a lot of their choices are based on THEIR inability to face conflict. So in trying to be fair, they're thinking how it best works for them to handle the situation, not how it best affects the other. Usually, it's avoidance of any sort of conflict or not so nice feelings. It's why they tend to white lie, people please, etc. It's not exactly helpful all around. Makes it really hard to trust individuals who base their choices off what it makes them look like as opposed to what's actually best.

AS a Libra, I've never had a problem speaking my mind and I definitely don't avoid conflict IF and WHEN confronted with it. In fact, I enjoy a healthy argument or disagreement. Heck, I'm even down for a good brawl if it presents itself. I have no idea where folks get this BS that Libra's love to avoid confrontation. Maybe you just haven't met the right one(s) yet, but AGAIN...Aries or any other Zodiac for that matter, should be careful about what comes out of their mouth at least SOMEtimes. I know that in the heat of a disagreement we all say hurtful things we may regret later on, but that shiggity shouldn't happen EVERY time you open your mouth. What I've noticed with my Aries folks, is they seem to think they can say whatever they want out of their mouths, but get all touchy feely with their emotions when someone flips the script back on them..IJS. Just because I TRY to be tactful with my words (not always the case) doesn't mean I can't get down and dirty with words because trust me,I can. I just try to treat people the way I want to be treated..with respect and Hell, I don't apologize for that. If anyone takes offense to kindness, then that's their problem.

Posted by LIb4Life

AS a Libra, I've never had a problem speaking my mind and I definitely don't avoid conflict IF and WHEN confronted with it. In fact, I enjoy a healthy argument or disagreement. Heck, I'm even down for a good brawl if it presents itself. I have no idea where folks get this BS that Libra's love to avoid confrontation. Maybe you just haven't met the right one(s) yet, but AGAIN...Aries or any other Zodiac for that matter, should be careful about what comes out of their mouth at least SOMEtimes. I know that in the heat of a disagreement we all say hurtful things we may regret later on, but that shiggity shouldn't happen EVERY time you open your mouth. What I've noticed with my Aries folks, is they seem to think they can say whatever they want out of their mouths, but get all touchy feely with their emotions when someone flips the script back on them..IJS. Just because I TRY to be tactful with my words (not always the case) doesn't mean I can't get down and dirty with words because trust me,I can. I just try to treat people the way I want to be treated..with respect and Hell, I don't apologize for that. If anyone takes offense to kindness, then that's their problem.

Then apparently you aren't of the pussy variety are you? Either that, or you may not be aware of tendencies. Whatever the case may be, lol @ you saying Libras won't avoid confrontation. Either they're the assholes many people have issues with, or they're normal people who don't drive others up the wall. Happens with every sign.

(Please use the quote feature. I had no idea wtf was going on with your post at first. :/)

so...aries and second chances .. what's up with the aries who first chased me.. then after a couple months said he want it to be a relationship..then after 3weeks said he doesnt want me..then after a few weeks started contacting again..and now a few month later is seeing me again ??

Posted by size zero superhero

Posted by LIb4Life
What I've noticed with my Aries folks, is they seem to think they can say whatever they want out of their mouths, but get all touchy feely with their emotions when someone flips the script back on them..IJS

YEP, absolutely. This attitude is more prevalent among male Aries than women...and also somewhat of a general fire sign trademark.
In the worst case scenario, the one in the wrong compiles a set of excuses intending to validate said faults. The betrayal only happened because they were scared, depressed, or mad at you and not in their right mind at the time & wanted to teach you a lesson. Oops!
If another then commits an offense of equal magnitude at their expense(whether intentional or not)? Different story. While two wrongs do not make a right, you'll see these ones cannot stomach the taste of their own medicine.

The key implication it boils down to is; their emotional needs & sense of pride always trump yours/his/hers/theirs, and others are expected to abide by a lesser margin of error, as evidence in these *power plays*.

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Actually to sort of answer your initial question, ultimately I am responsible for my own well-being. I will not let my horns come out EVER unless I have been hurt in some way. After the offense is committed, it's no holds barred and there is absolutely no limit to what I will say to one-up the individual.

As far as dishing it but not taking it, it would appear your perspective is skewed. I can take it it's just that my way of taking it not what people want. People expect to be able to say something to you and for you to just sulk in it. When i'm challenged the horns come up and it's not stop battle until i'm either bored or victorious; there is no alternative.

Posted by size zero superhero
Well apart from the area of repercussion/payback...at the very least, ongoing power-plays & upstaging efforts become obnoxious as hell, especially if the guilty party goes ape $ h!t whenever the tables turn.

You cannot hope to balance out an Aries; we play to a different set of rules and are a sign of extremes. I love going berserk when i'm angry, it's like an adrenaline rush. You say we go nuts as if it's a bad thing because for us, it's kinda awesome. We are really not that hard to understand. We are obnoxious, but so what? Better than being non-confrontational people-pleasers.

Posted by size zero superhero
Those I'm referring to don't need to be balanced out, but called out & given a reality check--Aries who subscribe to this mindset are often professional bridge-burners too, unsurprisingly, and according to them it's always the other party's fault.

Nonconfrontational people-pleasers? It's more about realizing the importance of choosing one's battles, which requires a bit of forethought.
The habit of losing your $ h.!t, over something that barely warrants a reaction = waste of energy, loss of credibility & dignity. Adult tantrums are the furthest thing from a br00tal energy surge. No matter how you try to frame it, it's still messy & absurd.

Actually everything written here I agree with. The Aries you are referring to most likely need to do some maturing. I choose my battles very wisely as I get older and most are not worth my energy one way or another. It is a rare occasion when I am caught out of character or lose my cool. Most things are taken all in good fun. I offer a warning outright to anyone trying to explicitly promote conflict.

Posted by size zero superhero

Posted by LIb4Life
What I've noticed with my Aries folks, is they seem to think they can say whatever they want out of their mouths, but get all touchy feely with their emotions when someone flips the script back on them..IJS

YEP, absolutely. This attitude is more prevalent among male Aries than women...and also somewhat of a general fire sign trademark.
In the worst case scenario, the one in the wrong compiles a set of excuses intending to validate said faults. The betrayal only happened because they were scared, depressed, or mad at you and not in their right mind at the time & wanted to teach you a lesson. Oops!
If another then commits an offense of equal magnitude at their expense(whether intentional or not)? Different story. While two wrongs do not make a right, you'll see these ones cannot stomach the taste of their own medicine.

The key implication it boils down to is; their emotional needs & sense of pride always trump yours/his/hers/theirs, and others are expected to abide by a lesser margin of error, as evidence in these *power plays*.

click to expand

"size zero superhero" You hit the nail on the head!!

Posted by aressupreme

Posted by size zero superhero
Those I'm referring to don't need to be balanced out, but called out & given a reality check--Aries who subscribe to this mindset are often professional bridge-burners too, unsurprisingly, and according to them it's always the other party's fault.

Nonconfrontational people-pleasers? It's more about realizing the importance of choosing one's battles, which requires a bit of forethought.
The habit of losing your $ h.!t, over something that barely warrants a reaction = waste of energy, loss of credibility & dignity. Adult tantrums are the furthest thing from a br00tal energy surge. No matter how you try to frame it, it's still messy & absurd.

Actually everything written here I agree with. The Aries you are referring to most likely need to do some maturing. I choose my battles very wisely as I get older and most are not worth my energy one way or another. It is a rare occasion when I am caught out of character or lose my cool. Most things are taken all in good fun. I offer a warning outright to anyone trying to explicitly promote conflict.

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You are both dead on-🙂 couldn't have said it any better

Posted by size zero superhero

Posted by LIb4Life
What I've noticed with my Aries folks, is they seem to think they can say whatever they want out of their mouths, but get all touchy feely with their emotions when someone flips the script back on them..IJS

YEP, absolutely. This attitude is more prevalent among male Aries than women...and also somewhat of a general fire sign trademark.
In the worst case scenario, the one in the wrong compiles a set of excuses intending to validate said faults. The betrayal only happened because they were scared, depressed, or mad at you and not in their right mind at the time & wanted to teach you a lesson. Oops!
If another then commits an offense of equal magnitude at their expense(whether intentional or not)? Different story. While two wrongs do not make a right, you'll see these ones cannot stomach the taste of their own medicine.

The key implication it boils down to is; their emotional needs & sense of pride always trump yours/his/hers/theirs, and others are expected to abide by a lesser margin of error, as evidence in these *power plays*.

click to expand

All I'm saying is when attitude hinders progress....and when I say progress...I mean progression with anything where life is concern such as career, intimate relationships, family, friends, etc. When you've gone your entire YOUNG life burning bridges and hurting people because you are using the "Aries" I am who I am, and that's just the way it is~~take it or leave it" slogan, then somewhere down the line change is needed, and trust me, it will come. You wake up one day at age 59 depressed, miserable, unhappy and whining because no one loves you and wants to be around you, is not a good way to end up in life. Hence...my Uncle. He was selfish and self centered~~treated his girlfriends like crap (married 4 times and is single as we speak) ~~treated family members the same way, coworkers and bosses (no exception) because he was the ALPHA MALE and always thought he was right. He had little regard for anyone else's feelings or thoughts. Now, he says in hindsight he wish he would have handled SOME things a little differently. With all that being said, he is still my favorite uncle and I love him, but it makes me sad to see him sad. However, if you are a true loner and really feel as though you are good all b

All I'm saying is when attitude hinders progress....and when I say progress...I mean progression with anything where life is concern such as career, intimate relationships, family, friends, etc. When you've gone your entire YOUNG life burning bridges and hurting people because you are using the "Aries" I am who I am, and that's just the way it is~~take it or leave it" slogan, then somewhere down the line change is needed, and trust me, it will come. You wake up one day at age 59 depressed, miserable, unhappy and whining because no one loves you and wants to be around you, is not a good way to end up in life. Hence...my Uncle. He was selfish and self centered~~treated his girlfriends like crap (married 4 times and is single as we speak) ~~treated family members the same way, coworkers and bosses (no exception) because he was the ALPHA MALE and always thought he was right. He had little regard for anyone else's feelings or thoughts. Now, he says in hindsight he wish he would have handled SOME things a little differently. With all that being said, he is still my favorite uncle and I love him, but it makes me sad to see him sad. However, if you are a true loner and really feel as though you are good all b

That's horrible. I don't let many people in and can definitely relate but unlike this I have a really solid family/friends foundation I have let in and build on solid ground. For me it is quality over quantity. Your first impression of me is gonna be based off of my initial feel for you. If you come off right away as fake I won't even bother speaking back to you. People are sometimes left with their mouths agape when they see the way I react to everyday situations.

Interesting topic.

Plenty of feedback.

I am Taurus (born in May)

Aries moon and cancer rising....

I rarely give a second chances.....you cross me once and I get rid off you....yes I forgive you, but I don't want you back in my life ...

Both Aries & Taurus are like that....