What is the best way to deal with a sick Ram ? (Page 4)

@IamTheRam

After it was over, it seemed to retreat back into himself. I could not really reach him. He went away, and sat in a different room. Kept busy with his phone, listening to something. I thought he was going through work voicemails. He came back eventually, still listening. I asked him what he was doing, if it was work. He said, it is not ready, not yet. So I let him go at it. It turns out, he was putting together the rest of the music playlist he wanted me to listen to, I presume (Keep in mind, during this entire time we were at his home. We spoke very little, far less than in all the times we had met). When he was done, he told me it was ready. He was on my left side, and put the earbud into his left ear. Which left me no choice to but put it in my right ear. He ignored me, when I tried to tell him that it was not a good idea, to put it in like that. Until I understood that, he purposely did it like so, because it meant I was forced into a certain position. To be very close to him, and have my face resting in between his neck and shoulders.

Once settled in, he pretended as if to choose a playlist, but he already had a very particular song ready. I saw other songs I liked, as he was scrolling, and asked if we could listen to that. Again, he ignored me and finally played what he had intended and prepared.



This was it, what an emotionally painful song. If you paid attention to the lyrics, you would realise it. His entire playlist had this painful love theme to it, I am not sure if he did it on purpose. If he found it hard to speak with me, so he tried to express himself through music. That merman moon after all. However, we are both hardly young anymore so why this almost immature way of expression. If he felt something, why could he not simply say it. If this song was in any true to his feelings -

Why does he such pain and confusion ? I could hardly have triggered or caused that in him, or do I ? Did he see me like that bird, in his life ? Why would being 'here with me' be such an excruciating experience if he felt all those good emotions too ?

He put me in such a position, that had me completely intertwined into him. Eventually unlike before where I held myself back from any form of expression, I also put my arm around him. For once I let go, with utter abandon and that bold feeling of just showing how I cared in the moment, was liberating. Completely enveloping him, he seemed content. Yet, he did nothing to reach out to touch me, he was not affectionate. Well he did, only once or twice, but very hesitantly as if unsure if he should let his guard down. We listened to the playlist for hours. I thought I was in bliss, we had not been this intertwined and close for such extended periods since that first week, months ago. He also kept sleeping with his back turned to me. The last time he did this, remember he kept leaning into me, as if to want me to cuddle and hold him in return. Well, this time, I took the leap of faith and did just that. I held him, and completely wrapped myself around him. Trust me, if I said I never wanted to let go ever again. Yet I could sometimes feel his heart beat speed up, or he swallowed funny, clenching his jaw. Most of the time he had his face turned away from me. Everything seemed contradictory. In the past, if he did not like something he would move my limbs away so he could get away from me. He would become or seem frustrated too but not tonight.

He did not move away, does that mean he wanted it or in the least liked it, if he allowed it to happen ?

Frankly, even now as I write this I find it sounding rather lovesick. Yet, it was incredible. I did not want those hours of night before the sun rises to ever end. In fact, I never remembered having felt more content and happy. Although, as the hours went by, and the sun began to rise. His attitude completely changed, he seemed to not want me near him as much and I could not sleep over the confusion. So I was on my phone browsing through my work emails and what not. That seemed to make him even more cold, bloody hell god knows what he thought I was doing on my phone. I was not hiding it, if he glanced my way, he would have seen everything. By the time we woke up, he was completely cold. As if, reality suddenly hit him or he was having a sudden awakening and panicking over his own vulnerability the night before. I was hurt, confused, and a rush of emotions. He was unafraid during the night, keep in mind we were both rather sober. He did not drink any alcohol at all. Therefore, he was aware of everything as it happened.

Why was there such an extreme polar change ?

He again, left to go to another room. I asked if he had work that day, which is a common question to ask. He gave me a glare that took me aback, so much anger. I never saw such anger in him before, but there was, in his eyes. It was unexpected, and I did not know why he was angry.

Was he angry at me ? Angry that I expressed myself, angry that he enjoyed it during the night, angry he was vulnerable, or angry at what ?

Therefore I quietly, pulled myself together. Gathered my belongings, during which he never so much as looked my way. I told him I was going to go, he did not hug me, did not hold me, nothing. He gave me a kiss, without moving from where he sat. We said good bye, and I left. In the past, he would have done something, some form of affection or at least got up but nothing. I felt as if cold water washed over me, after the highs of the night before. Which was different from any time we were together in the past. It was as if he did not want to show any hint of emotions. Yet it seemed as if he instead wanted me to prove that I did care for him however. Which I did do, through out the entire time. Now, that he knows how I feel since I was true to who I was, thinking less, and expressing myself. He now has the satisfaction of knowing, yet with that knowledge it only caused him to become even more cold.

Why ? Am I completely misunderstanding something here ?

@IamTheRam

In our many conversations that he and I had, he always mentioned how he was not famous or well known whenever I mention any other successful people / company in his industry. He did it again that evening. Obviously, he has a reaction whenever I speak good of anything other than him. Therefore, I have had enough of the misunderstandings. I wrote him a lengthly message, addressing everything. Why I mention these other people, why do I get to know these other companies, my intentions, who inspired me to do this (him), and what I truly believe of his capabilities, especially his talent in his work. It was really detailed, I made it known without a doubt what I thought and that I thought he was incredible in his field. I finished off by telling him (since I know better now), to not overthink the message, and there are no underlying secret intentions with it. I simply wished to be blunt, straight forward, and clear the air. Also so that whenever he was having a bad day, and not feeling at his best, he would have a good reminder he could always turn to again, to read.

Once sent, he instantly read it all. Wrote back thanking me, with those intimate nicknames again. Told me to visit the establishment more often again, so he'd be able to bump into me soon. Flirting emojis and what not.

Then an hour later, his tone completely changed again. He went awkwardly professional, detached, and cold. Him knowing the influence I have, he asked if I would do another review for his company. He asked in such a way where he was asking as if he was asking it of a stranger, or a client he just met. It was very impersonal. That offended me, deeply.

Was he using me, after all that I have done, all that care I had exuded on him, all those times I let him release his worries or problems on me, either listening or advising him ? Are we not at least friends, a title which he imposed many months ago, remember ?

It is almost as if every time, he showed any kindness / emotions / vulnerability to me. He has to pull back the other way, to the other extreme, every time.

I became very curt in my responses, blunt too. Granted, I have always been exceeding kind so to him it must have been shocking to see that I could be this way. Not rude, just very aggressively blunt. He kept at it, being very impersonal, which made me seethe even more. If you want me to do you a favour, do not treat me this way. I am a very generous person, and it is him. Of course, I would not have mind, and would have happily helped him write an excellent review should he have at least given me the courtesy, to ask the favour as a friend. He pissed me off enough, that by the last message. I think I was very biting, in my tone. I told him what I honestly thought of his company, that he was the one of the few good things about it, the rest is dodgy and not something I would ever review. However, only because of him, do I see things in a favourable light. Well, I said all this in a slightly less soft manner. He went quiet after that, I am sure he could read my anger. I am in fact still very angry, how dare he. Angry, and very much hurt. When he asked it like that, I felt used, utterly used.

Why could he not ask if of me as a friend, I would not have mind and would have gotten it done as soon as possible ? Is he trying to push me away ? Why this, close and vulnerable one minute, the next not ? He used to flip flop like this but it was not as frequent, now it is as if he is unstable and cannot decide which ?

@TheLadyScorpio

Damn...i really like the way you write, that was veryyy cool ! Thanks TLS I 🙂

And i am not gonna lie...I am really getting jealous of you 2 haha so so good ^^

Shit, he really is an Aries !! Very, very (!!) similar to me when it comes to this things ^^ That music thing with the headphones....Top... !! He placed alot of thought into that moment he wanted to create for you TLS...trust me 🙂

So yeah, i know what was going on hehe And no...he wasn't using you lol wtf TLS ?! ^^

I am a bit busy these days, so i can't reply to your questions now, and i dunno if i can do it latter also (really busy) but i will try my best to reply latter to all your questions ^^ (if for some reason i can't latter, tomorrow at eve i will, but i will !!) ^^

And btw TLS, i need you to do a favor for me, but for that i need to talk with you in private, if that's ok with you ? 🙂

I will get to that latter after i reply to you ! ^^

In the mean time, take care and don't worry at all hehe like i said before....you got this ! ^^

Posted by IamTheRam

@TheLadyScorpio

Damn...i really like the way you write, that was veryyy cool ! Thanks TLS I 🙂

And i am not gonna lie...I am really getting jealous of you 2 haha so so good ^^

Shit, he really is an Aries !! Very, very (!!) similar to me when it comes to this things ^^ That music thing with the headphones....Top... !! He placed alot of thought into that moment he wanted to create for you TLS...trust me 🙂

So yeah, i know what was going on hehe And no...he wasn't using you lol wtf TLS ?! ^^

I am a bit busy these days, so i can't reply to your questions now, and i dunno if i can do it latter also (really busy) but i will try my best to reply latter to all your questions ^^ (if for some reason i can't latter, tomorrow at eve i will, but i will !!) ^^

And btw TLS, i need you to do a favor for me, but for that i need to talk with you in private, if that's ok with you ? 🙂

I will get to that latter after i reply to you ! ^^

In the mean time, take care and don't worry at all hehe like i said before....you got this ! ^^

Certainly, turn on your Private Message and write me. I would gladly see what I could do for you.

Except there is yet another update about the Ram gent. He is back to distant, ignoring me, moody and awkward again.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by IamTheRam

@TheLadyScorpio

Damn...i really like the way you write, that was veryyy cool ! Thanks TLS I 🙂

And i am not gonna lie...I am really getting jealous of you 2 haha so so good ^^

Shit, he really is an Aries !! Very, very (!!) similar to me when it comes to this things ^^ That music thing with the headphones....Top... !! He placed alot of thought into that moment he wanted to create for you TLS...trust me 🙂

So yeah, i know what was going on hehe And no...he wasn't using you lol wtf TLS ?! ^^

I am a bit busy these days, so i can't reply to your questions now, and i dunno if i can do it latter also (really busy) but i will try my best to reply latter to all your questions ^^ (if for some reason i can't latter, tomorrow at eve i will, but i will !!) ^^

And btw TLS, i need you to do a favor for me, but for that i need to talk with you in private, if that's ok with you ? 🙂

I will get to that latter after i reply to you ! ^^

In the mean time, take care and don't worry at all hehe like i said before....you got this ! ^^

Certainly, turn on your Private Message and write me. I would gladly see what I could do for you.

Except there is yet another update about the Ram gent. He is back to distant, ignoring me, moody and awkward again.

click to expand

I guess you were right about that merman moon part lol....

Well, the hot and cold part is actualy a trait of an Aries, and tbh I think it's a trait that everyone have it in it's own way, but i guess that with Aries it can be a bit more noticeable in certain ways 🙂

For instance with me, when it comes to sleep, it's like..i really have "that position" that i must be in order to get some sleep lol so it's not that i feel less for her if I decide to "break the cuddle" (which i will most likely do, because that's actualy "a thing" for me in order to get some sleep lol....and....break the cuddle, aint that a good name for a rock band, hey ? lol 😆 ). So you know, maybe it was just that...he just wanted to get some sleep 🙂

I learned that a good way to "get over this" things and in order to avoid a stupid confusion in a rship, is to actualy say why i am doing it lol The good part is that she eventualy realises that this is actualy just the way that i am lol, and she eventualy also does the same when she feels like it, so it's just us being honest over things...And that's it 🙂

But i think that the cellphone part afterwards was what generated his behaviour right now ^^ remember the understanding thing he told you about ? ^^ I for instance really dislike that devices things when we are togheter lol and it something that really anoys me lol (and i say it ofc....lool 😛 ) If we are sharing it that's one thing, if not...it just completly breaks the mood....lool..."It's our moment...why are you doing something alone ?...are you not entertained ?!..." lool you know, something like that ^^ Think it like a brat kid that wants to get some sleep (in his on way lol) but also wants you to...do the same ?... ^^ Sure, it's not allways like this and i am torelable, but you know...when it's "those" moments.....we start and we end it togheter lol it's like....this "traditional" way of doing this things, i really don't know how to explain it a bit better lool, but you know, in the end it just boils down to 1 thing....Understanding (from both sides ofc) ^^

As for the songs thing, why do you see it in that way ? 🙂 I guess that Loneliness it's a very common feeling that he had in his life so far (given all of it's past), and you know, when we are in Love (not saying that he is...lol...beware, i don't know that lol), we feel things....way more, about ourselfs and even about the people that surrounds us, we are more aware of it, about feelings ^^

And Love got this duality that you realy can't escape....so maybe he feels loneliness...but that also means that he Loved those people....and maybe that's just the way he feels all of it given his past experience, and that actualy "scares" him, maybe he just don't want to feel loneliness again.... So...and in a way, the more "you Love", "the worse" it can be ^^

You begin to worry and be scared just because someone is 5 minutes late...for no answer....for a word...for no words....for stupid things....for a single thought....you know.... Love 🙂

We all have feelings but we all express it in many diferent ways, so in the end it always boils down to the same thing ^^

And given all of it, and how moody he can be lol...i really think that you will need to be a bit of a "mother goose" (at least for now lol) when it comes to this things...just try to get over it and see no "dark side" on the things he is doing ^^ Because i think that if he feel that you are not "100% " into it, he isn't going to let his guard down, and he will try to act normal and detach "if it needs be " 🙂

Just try to be patient, that's really my best advice for now 🙂

Hey, we can allways blame his moon and just for the heck of it hehe ^^

Who knows TLS, maybe i am right, maybe i am not...I guess you will have to find out for yourself 🙂 But that's actualy one of the best parts of all of it ^^ See it for yourself if there is something there ^^

Hope that i made some sense with what i was trying to say and actualy got to answer your questions ^^ (i am tired...lol sorry ^^)

And sure, i will hit you when i can, Thanks 🙂

Take Care TLS 🙂

@IamTheRam

Hah, so I am back with the immensely long story telling which will come in parts. 😆

(Side note - Excuse me for failing to get back to your last PM in time, but I wanted to say thank you and you're welcome as well. Of course, the thanks is more in depth but I think you know my intent.)



Part I



Regarding, the Water Bearer situation you could read my Water Bearer threads. Remember two months ago, I had met up with the Ram Gent, and he was spontaneous, affectionate, emotional etc. Well, right after I had met him, he was busy with the Ram female (the one I mentioned many times before), or so I thought. Anyways, since they were spending so much time together I let it go. Moved on, and thought I had the better option in the Water Bearer as he seemed more eager to be with me. Then he had his holiday, and did not see him around.

When he came back, I met him once more (this was when I was semi living with the Water Bearer), we caught up at one of his work locations. It was very relaxed, and he kept talking about relationships hinting at probable futures to see my reactions, I presume. It was spoken in riddles still, not truly blunt or clear. He mentioned his dream city, how he may still pursue it but if he finds a reason or someone. He would stay in this city, and would not mind. Remember, how since that first time we met long ago, he never got my phone number. Well, I finally gave it to him, and he quickly gave me his. It was a first for him, to have to wait this long to get a woman's number. We both kind of laughed at how ridiculous it was that he never got it till this many months later. After that, we would talk a bit, texting one another.

Eventually, I got up my courage and outright asked him if we were friends, if he ever liked me, or if I am simply someone he met by accident when working. He finally admitted that he does indeed like me, and that we are friends. However, he is not looking for a relationship at the moment, and that it was not about me. It was great, to finally hear the truth. The admittance that he does indeed like me. Yet at the same time, it was vague, as if he kept it so, so as to not close all the doors. As if he could like me more, yet because of the circumstances now, it will have to remain as so. After all, if a man truly likes a woman, would they simply be friends ? (a question which is addressed later on in the story) I thanked him for clarifying, and that I knew it was not about me because I am rather amazing. 😆 For another month, we did not meet again. I was busy being with the Water Bearer, and life / work.

This weekend, we knew there would be an incoming rainstorm. Nothing serious, but simply dreary weather. In the evening, I was out and about visiting friends and birthday celebrations, enjoying myself. In fact, I had every intention to pass by one of his locations, the one by the waters to relax. However, I was kept busy with much of the celebrations I did not get to go. Although, as if he intuitively read my thoughts. After not having heard from him, nor having seen him for a month he wrote me. He asked me what plans I had for that day. I told him I had none, and asked him why he was writing. He was rather adorable, said that a rainstorm is incoming and he did not want to be alone accompanied by a sad face.

He was truthful, to the point, but not disrespectful. I liked that, no games. I told him where my location was, and asked when he would finish with work that evening. We kept updating each other, eventually, I went to his home. He trusted me with his security pass code for entry, which was new. Frankly, I was surprised he wrote me. What was the coincidence that he happen to write me, on an evening where I was nearby his location where he was at as well. Although a part of me is quite sure he probably wrote other women as well, to see if he could find one to spend time with. He could have easily found a stranger to spend the entire weekend with. To weather the storm, and then the day off afterwards as well. Yet no, I was contacted. I suppose he wanted someone familiar, someone he already knew.

The energy was different, there was no pretence. He was not trying to impress me nor I him, we were simply comfortable. It was nice. We were far more communicative in bed, both unashamed to simply say what we each wanted, and had a great time. He seemed confident, and I was confident. He knew he was giving me an enjoyable time, and I knew I certainly was giving him the same in return as well. It was not as emotionally driven as two months ago, but still very connected and passionate. Afterwards, we had a lot of pillow talk. Spoke of everything, unlike before he did not speak as much in riddles. We bluntly spoke of our time spent with others, our mishaps we had in our escapades, thoughts on relationships, where we each see our futures, what we want now, happiness, career goals, fears, vulnerabilities, how we both overcome our similar painful pasts, how we work past our traumas etc. Many many things were spoken of. Though yes, we both do talk. I noticed that often it is more so my asking him questions, and him sharing. Less so him inquiring about me. He does not ask me much question in fact, the lack of curiosity seems odd or I suppose he simply expects me to share.



Are Ram Gents normally like so, lack or curiousity or is that simply the 'me me me' mentality that could happen at times ?



In the past, he would not be this open. More than not, he would be afraid to share about his time with other women most likely because he probably could sense that I really liked him before. Therefore he thought I might get jealous, possessive, hurt or offended. Not that I do not like him now, I do as he does, though I never said it directly to him. However, my heart was broken recently by the Water Bearer therefore I am in my healing phase. I do not have much to give to a man, and the focus is resolutely on myself at the moment. I suppose he senses the energy shift. I really enjoyed being able to talk to him in this manner, where he has little to no filters. It was very refreshing and a lot of his stories with women had me laughing quite a bit. Though he did not show it, he really seemed to enjoy making me laugh and see this completely free, hair down version of myself. To be honest, I thought I would die from the laughter. His blunt commentary on his own stories, was priceless. I think we both were surprised that we could end up where we are now with each other. It was unexpected. Although, I suspect he suspects of my time spent with the Water Bearer. As he would always reference topics related to anything Italian which was strange as he never did so in the past. Yes, the Water Bearer is Italian. I entertained everything he spoke of that had anything to do with Italians or Italy but never spoke of the Water Bearer.

I even outright told him, I wish he was this open, blunt, and honest before because this version of him is really incredible and I liked it a lot. I truly enjoy it immensely. He told me he was always this way, but only with people he was comfortable with. When he is able to find that small group of people he finds comfort in, he enjoys being around them again, and again. That comment took me by surprise, and I assume he was referring to me. I never thought that my presence and company, was that soothing or relaxing to him. He told me, most women, he has dalliances with. They were mostly a one time occasion. It did not matter if she was beautiful, rich, or extremely intelligent etc. Hah, it did please me to know, he had chosen to see me repeatedly then since April. At least it must mean we fundamentally do enjoy each other as individuals.

Him being himself in this way, allowed me to let my guard down, and be spontaneous with him. That adventurous fun loving side of me amused him as he did not get to see it this fully before. One odd thing to note is, he still tries to not mention the Ram female that he works with all too much. Though he showed me some of the messages she sent him. He seems more blasé about her, than her him. He did share that, often times, he knows when the woman is in love with him. I assume he is saying he knows the Ram female, is in love with him. Yet, he also said it does not mean I am, and I let them know too because I would go enjoy my time with other women as well. He told me, such women falling in love with him happens a lot at work with those he works with. I declared him an official bastard for knowingly doing such things, and he laughed, sharing that at least he is being completely truthful with me. He may try this with them but he was not being a bastard to me. Which at the moment, is true. In fact, he is being rather sweet. Ah, to be able to be transparent enough to laugh at the tactics he uses on women. He even shared the abysmal failures, what a riot it was to listen to. 😆

Again, he spoke of his new career goals. I am surprised to hear that now he has decided to stay in this city, and remain. Before, he would have decided to go elsewhere. Now, he has decided to build something for himself here. He feels if he moves, he may spread his chances of success in obtaining what he wants too thinly. He told me where he aims to live, to upgrade his living conditions, to the best part of the city etc. I told him, should he get there on day, before I reach my highest level of success in my professional endeavours. I would buy him champagne, he kept refusing, even when I said vintage. He said of course not, I would be the one buying you something, not you me. Finally, for once because I could afford to. I was completely taken aback by that comment, it came out of no where. I thought he meant champagne, and he said no, a proper gift, something nice that he could not afford to purchase now. Internally, I was really touched emotionally. Of course, it could merely be just words but Rams, if he wants something he will do it.

Part II



He spoke of a lot, and shared even more in depth in regards to the history of his family, and dynamics. Details which he never told me before. It was strange, he would share but then never asked of my own experiences. Almost, as if I was his comfort zone to share or offload. Perhaps, he viewed me as his therapist. We spoke of his happiness, and he did share that out of ten he only felt himself at a five. Evidently, he would one day want a family but professional success, and financial stability seemed to weigh most heavily on his mind. Not because he is not at a good place already as it is, but he felt it was not enough or good enough for a woman, especially for a family with children. He even spoke of his financial situation with me, in detail. How much he was earning, where he would like to be, how much more he would like to earn, and where his ultimate goal is in savings. The last time someone spoke like so with me, were past SO, but I did not think too much of it. He probably wanted someone he trusted, to talk to / with. What struck me was how he spoke of his loneliness. He said I never really talk about it but I often feel alone on many a nights. Which is why I often go out to find women, one after another. Yes, it is because I have those needs but mostly because I do not want to spend yet another night lying there remembering that I am alone, with no one to care or hold me. I asked him how he would usually cope when he had no woman around. His response was to sleep it off, hoping that the next day would come soon enough.

With the rainstorm raging outside, we went to bed. That day, I was rather tired, with all the celebrations prior before I met him. Therefore, I really wanted to get a good nights sleep. I did not cuddle him much nor did he initiate. However, he has this backwards shuffle that he does. He would do so until he could feel his back, or any body part touching me. Then sometimes he would lean back into me, regardless of the position that I am sleeping in. Sometimes, he would almost half lay on top of me. I was not certain if that was him wanting cuddles, but it was amusing.

After a while, I did cuddle him a little, not a lot. It seemed to soothe him, and I could feel him relax. Now, that I understood why he may move away in the middle of a cuddle. Since you shared so before. I let him be, when he wanted space. Usually, he would take my hand and unravel the spoon that we were in. He seemed to always enjoy being the little spoon. Hah, it amused me since he is a Ram after all. Not only so, but sometimes I could feel him sleeping, facing my way. With his breathe on my face, as if someone was staring at me. I recognise that feeling, because a few of my SO would do so in the past. Other times, I would drowsily half open my eyes to find him having sat up at the other end or side of the bed pondering, deep in thought or looking my way. Now, neither of us had our phones nor checked it in bed. When I did in the morning, to see how the weather was. Which I updated him on, once that was done. I put my phone down, but he took it so far as to cover it and hide it with his pillow. Then to sleep on top of it, so then the phone was permanently out of my reach. I told him the weather report, he said that is good news that it is still raining badly. Proceeded to entrap me by his legs, then to tell me to go to sleep again. 😆

Something I have learned having enjoyed time with a Ram Gent. If you want something, say it or merely do it. If he does not like it, he would tell you. For example, I used to fret about cuddling, whether or not to close windows if it was raining outside. Now, I simply get on it and do it. He usually does not care, if he does he would speak up. Also, he has been highly attentive to my needs. He knows now to make sure his home is cooled to the right temperature before I arrive. Since there was a rainstorm outside, a lot of places were closed, and we were stuck indoors. He did not have much food at his place, besides what cheese, charcuterie, bread etc. he had. He was creative enough to present it to me like a multi-course menu, and turned the event into a picnic indoors. The fact, that I played along with it and entertained that spontaneity got him smiling.

I still find it amusing that he would make it a task upon himself to make sure I am not hungry. He would always ask if I was hungry, if I wanted to eat, and always telling me to eat more. Sometimes, I almost wonder if he thinks I am too slim. In the past, I might fret about how to accept his gestures etc. Now, I just take what he gives unashamedly. Ram Gents seem to enjoy this dynamic. Being the man, and the carer, the responsible one seems to turn you lot on. It got to the point where he would hand feed me food even when I was busy replying work emails. He would not have it any other way, as he would keep the morsel of food in front of me until I took a bite. Eat! - he would demand. I must say this intimate act of feeding me food, did stun me a little. Though I did playfully go along with it, but it stun me more so because it brought back so many memories between me and my various past SO. He never fed me before, I did not know what got into him to want to do so.

He was very cheeky though, prior to eating our food he wanted to say something. He went on to make all these complimentary statements. Saying what a wonderful evening it was to be spending it with such lovely beautiful amazing, etc. and you knew the final word to that statement was lady or woman. Instead, he switched it last minute and said food. He purposely built it up, is this a Ram thing to see how I would react. He almost caught me, but I managed laughed it off and say ah what wonderful food then. He knowingly did it.



Is this typically how Rams go about teasing ? 😆



Part way through our creative meal, the conversation suddenly took a turn towards rather serious topics. He told me about the worst moments in his life. The moments, where he was at his lowest, when he hit rock bottom. There were moments of laughter, but also moments of great sadness. He spared no detail in telling me of his struggles during those times, how little money he had, and what he had to endure. How everyone turned on him, how through his own perseverance he pulled himself out of the situation. Rarely would men tell another soul about their darkest moments, but he told me his. Not only so, but his emotional / mental journey through all of it. Why it made him who he is today, and what it took for him to be the way he is now. He trusted me enough not to feel ashamed, in telling me all this about himself. It felt good to be entrusted with such pieces of who he is.

Then we moved unto lighter subject matters, where he told me exactly how a woman were to keep his attention. As often like many things in life, he gets them easily if he worked hard enough at it, pursuing it in a concentrated manner. The only way a woman could keep me around, is if she learns to let me chase her. To make me work for her, to make it a challenge for me. I want someone who could be that for me. Strange is it not, that he was telling me all the inner workings as to how he functioned in the matters of the heart. It was as if I was given a tutorial manual to his romantic / emotional world. Although I must say, despite all the conversation we had. The energy between us did not feel charged with sexual tension. It may have when he fed me food, but then it fell into this peace and calm in which I believe both us have not had in a while. There was no tension, simply an energy of relaxed comfort.



Do Ram Gents usually open up this way, granted I know I should not think too much into it, for all I know it could simply be because he feels I provided him with a safe place to share his deepest past, regrets, mistakes etc. ?



Eventually, some of the shops reopened. There was still rain but much less. Despite the rather large umbrella we were sharing, again being the Ram he was. He made it into a game of sorts, that he was protecting me from the harms of mother nature. That I must stay close, granted having now understood how you lot function. I went along with it, that seemed to have pleased him. When we arrived back home, he went straight to work, even though it was the weekend. For nearly eight hours straight, he worked continuously. Not a word was spoken, he would take occasional glances and stares at me. I could feel him gazing at my face but I was not looking back. That was for the first few hours, then the latter he only remained entirely absorbed in his work. I let him be, never said a word. I got on with my emails etc. once that was done, I would read and kept track of the playlist that I was putting on to keep us occupied. However, seeing a Ram focused. My oh my, that determination in him. He never even took a break during that entire time. Keep in mind, he has never shown this work ethic side to me before. I was both proud, and turned on at his intensity. Yet, at the same time it was the most peaceful hours spent together, in complete silence.



Do Rams normally enjoy having comfortable silent company ? Was this to show me a different side of himself as well as of course to get work done ?





Part III should be coming soon, @IamTheRam. Bear with me, I know you wanted an update. This has been a rather long saga as it is already, but I will finish the rest of it later.

Part 3 you say ?...hummmm....

😆

Sure i will get to it during lunch and I'll type back to you during the weekend 🙂

It's totaly fine ofc ! We all got our own things going on ^^ And hey, good news...here i can use paragraphs...damn...the walls... haha xD

Thanks TLS, i will get back to you 🙂

Just saw that you got some things going on now with the Aquarius guy at 🙂

I am going to wait on this one untill you figure your head out, ok ? ^^

Tbh it's best thing for you atm 🙂

You will figure a way out, no matter what...as long as you allways follow what you have inside of you, you will see 🙂

If you need anything (or want me to continue once you sorted everything up) just poke me here ! Good luck with that TLS and do Take Care 🙂

Posted by IamTheRam

Just saw that you got some things going on now with the Aquarius guy at 🙂

I am going to wait on this one untill you figure your head out, ok ? ^^

Tbh it's best thing for you atm 🙂

You will figure a way out, no matter what...as long as you allways follow what you have inside of you, you will see 🙂

If you need anything (or want me to continue once you sorted everything up) just poke me here ! Good luck with that TLS and do Take Care 🙂

Nothing going on with the Water Bearer at all. He merely called stating it was an emergency but it turned out to be not.

We remain distant friends, him and I. That chapter is closed for me, there is no going back nor do I wish to. Though I know he may be having regrets now but too late for him. In fact, I told him so. That I am and have already moved on but I carry no hard feelings thus why I am still nice towards him.

My head is very clear, fret not.

I was just writing Part III as it were. 😆

Posted by IamTheRam

Just saw that you got some things going on now with the Aquarius guy at 🙂

I am going to wait on this one untill you figure your head out, ok ? ^^

Tbh it's best thing for you atm 🙂

You will figure a way out, no matter what...as long as you allways follow what you have inside of you, you will see 🙂

If you need anything (or want me to continue once you sorted everything up) just poke me here ! Good luck with that TLS and do Take Care 🙂

Nothing going on with the Water Bearer at all. He merely called stating it was an emergency but it turned out to be not.

We remain distant friends, him and I. That chapter is closed for me, there is no going back nor do I wish to. Though I know he may be having regrets now but too late for him. In fact, I told him so. That I am and have already moved on but I carry no hard feelings thus why I am still nice towards him.

My head is very clear, fret not.

I was just writing Part III as it were @IAmTheRam. 😆

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by IamTheRam

Just saw that you got some things going on now with the Aquarius guy at 🙂

I am going to wait on this one untill you figure your head out, ok ? ^^

Tbh it's best thing for you atm 🙂

You will figure a way out, no matter what...as long as you allways follow what you have inside of you, you will see 🙂

If you need anything (or want me to continue once you sorted everything up) just poke me here ! Good luck with that TLS and do Take Care 🙂

Nothing going on with the Water Bearer at all. He merely called stating it was an emergency but it turned out to be not.

We remain distant friends, him and I. That chapter is closed for me, there is no going back nor do I wish to. Though I know he may be having regrets now but too late for him. In fact, I told him so. That I am and have already moved on but I carry no hard feelings thus why I am still nice towards him.

My head is very clear, fret not.

I was just writing Part III as it were @IAmTheRam. 😆

click to expand

lol ok...this was kinda of *unexpected* lool ^^

You know...by now i think that i am sure, that I will never understand what's inside of a woman's head.... 😆

It might seem like we men do understand it....but we really don't...we never do....lolol

But sure ! Shoot it away 🙂

It is not that women are complicated. I forgave him because that was the only way for me to move forward. However, I will never forget what he did to me, or how he treated me. Which is why I will never return. If you do not want the love of a Stinger. She will grief, she will mourn, but then she will rebuild herself and move on far stronger than ever before. Men, never expect that from us. When we move on, we truly do so and never look back.

That is the very reason why I could remain and be his friend now. Although, the Water Bearer is struggling now to comprehend my ability to regain who I am. He threw me out, and I saved myself, I set myself free. All the love I gave to him, I gave back to me. I am still healing but feeling much more myself than ever before.



Part III



Ah, finally the last portion of this saga. Indeed, what incredible patience you have.

Once he was finished for the evening, he simply declared he was going to sleep. Off he went, and he essentially collapsed into bed. By this point, I did not expect him to ask how I was. I could clearly see the exhaustion in him. We did not cuddle, mostly because I did not feel like being the big spoon and I needed to sleep as well. Work was awaiting me the next day. He would still occasionally shuffle backwards until he could touch me, or so he could lean into me. By morning, in the past, he would wake up before I did. Go off into the other rooms in his home to start the day, or to wake me up. Again, often back then he would be unnervingly cold. This time rather, he let me wake up to my own accord. Not only so, I woke up before he did. Mostly because I had work to get to, so I had to keep my eye on the time. When I was getting ready to leave, and walked up to him to tell him so. He seemed partly surprised or stunned, asking that I was going already ? Perhaps, he had other plans he had wanted to do with me because he never usually kept me before. Who knows ? Ah, but then he got up and gave me the most awkward of hugs, almost platonic. He seemed a bit confused, I still gave him a kiss and told him to take care.

When I was walking out, he hurried said that I will text you, yes ? As if to confirm that it would be what I wanted as well. I told him, sure, and yes, write me. This was all strange, because not only did he reach out to me this time as it were which was new and never happened before. He also wanted to confirm that we will keep in touch, or that he will write me. The more laid back that I am, not trying half as hard, merely being myself. The more he seemed a bit more motivated. There were rarely any moments of hot and cold, it was very consistent. Yes, he would go into his own headspace from time to time but he was never cold. Again, such a change in behaviour as compared to before.



What is happening, is this usual ?



On a side note and some other details -



At first, he was a bit ashamed. He said I should have prepared properly. Next time, I will have better food, drinks, and all the comforts ready for you so we do not have to fret about anything. I never commented, I was having an incredible time. Taking everything into stride, being a woman with standards. Which he knows of yet at once not snobbish seemed to intrigue him. That you could be classy but at the same time, go with the flow, and down to earth. He always seem to speak in a way as if to say, next time, I will make the experience even better for you. I will make improvements in everything around you, including his home. He still makes comments on his living conditions. I let him be the man he wants to be, let him be that Ram self. One good thing about healing from a heartbreak is, you give far less to men. I noticed Ram Gents seemed to like that. When I sit back, and let him do all the work. He seemed more and more eager to please. However, this was not done purposely so on my part. I was not playing games. I was being myself, and all that I could be in that moment. I loved the way he would look at me when we talk, he would always gaze at my face now. He is rather endearing, almost a bit childlike in that respect.



@IAmTheRam, I should think that is all I could remember or that comes to mind as of now. Do share your view on all this. As you could see there has been quite a change and it is rather intriguing. 😆

Posted by Black-Mamba

Is he messy?

Hah, at home, a bit yes. Within his professional realm, he is very exacting and neat.

Posted by bmoon8

So this turned into a FWB situation. Who knows? It could potentially turn into more later on down the road. I, personally, am curious about those that I am interested in. Maybe he is more self absorbed? He talks about himself a lot with you. Aries open up more and more with you as we feel comfortable with you and trust you more. He is going to go slow with trust because he was betrayed by his ex gf and BF. I am sorry that he hurt and angered you with his impersonal behavior. It's hard to say why he flip flops with the hot and cold. I would open up to him about how hurtful it is to you that he does that... Maybe he'll stop doing it.

Somehow it did, it was not purposely planned out as so. Yes @bmoon8, I usually find that Rams are generally far more curious about others when they are interested. However, he never asked much questions of me even from day one. Though I noticed, he ask very little of others as well. It may be a personality trait. He seems to expect others to simply tell him things, or speak to him.

Yes, he does talk a lot about himself with me. Always did, but now even more so. He did speak of comfort, that he only sees someone over and over again if he finds comfort around them. We did speak of trust and certain fears we struggle with. In fact, both of us have a similar background in terms of trauma hence why it was a topic we were able to discuss openly. Almost like two survivors talking of survival and growth tactics.

He did anger and hurt me in the past with his impersonal behaviour. However, since we last met, he was very consistent. No hot and cold behaviour, therefore it has been a calmer, almost peaceful experience. This change has been surprising, since the last time I properly spent this much time with him was months ago. As I was in a relationship of sorts with a Water Bearer, in between. Therefore I was not in touch with the Ram Gent. if you read my latest updates, I did open up to the fact I prefer his filterless self. Since then, he holds back still, but not much. It is rather refreshing, how blunt you lot could be.

On another note - how have you been @bmoon8 ? 🙂

Posted by bmoon8

Btw, I lost my message I was posting to you 3 times and had to retype it up... Fucking dxp!?!

Ah, I also hate when that happens. Bloody hell, DXP sometimes exasperates us. 😆

@IAmTheRam

Amusing side note though, after sex he looked quite dazed. Which has never happened before. He could not even gather his thoughts together. I thought he had an out of body experience. Since, I had to ask if he needed a cigarette in order to wake him up from his reverie. Hah, he said you are going to kill me, with a smile on his face. I take that as a good sign, after all it is rather hard to leave a Ram Gent speechless. That made my Stinger side quite proud. I of course told him in jest, that I would not mind killing him, it would be fun to do so. Then he said you already did. 😆

Posted by bmoon8

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by bmoon8

So this turned into a FWB situation. Who knows? It could potentially turn into more later on down the road. I, personally, am curious about those that I am interested in. Maybe he is more self absorbed? He talks about himself a lot with you. Aries open up more and more with you as we feel comfortable with you and trust you more. He is going to go slow with trust because he was betrayed by his ex gf and BF. I am sorry that he hurt and angered you with his impersonal behavior. It's hard to say why he flip flops with the hot and cold. I would open up to him about how hurtful it is to you that he does that... Maybe he'll stop doing it.

Somehow it did, it was not purposely planned out as so. Yes @bmoon8, I usually find that Rams are generally far more curious about others when they are interested. However, he never asked much questions of me even from day one. Though I noticed, he ask very little of others as well. It may be a personality trait. He seems to expect others to simply tell him things, or speak to him.

Yes, he does talk a lot about himself with me. Always did, but now even more so. He did speak of comfort, that he only sees someone over and over again if he finds comfort around them. We did speak of trust and certain fears we struggle with. In fact, both of us have a similar background in terms of trauma hence why it was a topic we were able to discuss openly. Almost like two survivors talking of survival and growth tactics.

He did anger and hurt me in the past with his impersonal behaviour. However, since we last met, he was very consistent. No hot and cold behaviour, therefore it has been a calmer, almost peaceful experience. This change has been surprising, since the last time I properly spent this much time with him was months ago. As I was in a relationship of sorts with a Water Bearer, in between. Therefore I was not in touch with the Ram Gent. if you read my latest updates, I did open up to the fact I prefer his filterless self. Since then, he holds back still, but not much. It is rather refreshing, how blunt you lot could be.

On another note - how have you been @bmoon8 ? 🙂

I've been busy working and going to school. Thanks for asking. I am doing classes online this semester and it is more work than going to the class in person. I work as a PC Tech at a local hospital - I repair computer related problems. I am going back to school to change my career to Nursing slowly working on prerequesite classes, and I am 40 years old doing it. I am so used to being in classes with people half my age... It makes it nice to know that someone is 50 years old in my English class doing it. No relationship stories to tell... Nothing new on that horizon.

Maybe he doesn't like to pry? That's good that he is showing more consistency. Do you think it will turn into more?

click to expand

That does sound like progress and most importantly fulfilling. It is always nice to hear of someone pursuing something they want, no matter the age or time. If you want it, go get it, is the rule I usually prescribe. Happy to hear all is well. Besides, learning is something that should never stop. 🙂

Perhaps ... he had a rather complicated upbringing. It may have factored into his personality and made him who he is today. If he is not talking about himself, he rarely asks much of others. Even if and when flirting with other women, beyond the inane usual questions he speaks more of himself. Well, we do not see each other often. He is not as fluent in socialising as I am, if I were honest.

As for it turning into more, I hold no expectations at the moment. Mostly because I am living my life, and healing / growing from the terrible end that the Water Bearer ex had put me through. If it will happen, it will happen. I trust that when he is ready, or if I am ready, and all the pieces fall into place. Then it will, otherwise why force anything. Also since the Ram Gent said though he liked me, he is not ready for a commitment right now. He said we are friends. To him, he views commitment, a relationship, for the long term. I think he is rather black and white in that respect. If he is to want something, he wants it all. Long term, children, family, everything.

Therefore right now, I am focusing on enjoying his company when we do see each other. In fact, he has a lot of healing to do anyways. There are traumas of his ex, who cheated on him with his best friend eight years ago, that still haunt him. He is in denial about it, but as someone who cares but not want to enmesh myself into his troubles. I try to gently guide him towards a healthier pathway.

I did told you that i was *clueless about women*, now didn't i ? 😆

When i said that, i actualy thought that you actualy still liked the Aquarius guy, and i said that because didn't want my opinion to be responsible for a *shift in your heart* ^^

And infact, it's funny that you mention the forgiving thing ^^ Because when i said that "you should follow whats inside of you", i was actualy thinking..."It's easy to forgive someone, and you should allways do it in order to move on (that's a basic one ^^)...but the hardest part is to allways to forgive yourself, for forgiving that person..." and no matter what....that can only be acomplished if you...well, you know....if you *reached this forgiving thing consluion to this point*, then you know the last part of it ^^

Ofc this depends on what the person in question actualy did (which i don't know tbh), but i guess you get my point 🙂

See ?...I told you... 😆

Anyway.... On to the Aries ^^

First off, and most important of all parts (lool), that thing that he was telling you his "inner workings as to how he funcioned in the matters of the heart", Straight on this is the most important thing of them all lolol ^^ Yes, he was telling you EXACTLY how *he fall's in Love* xD

As for his rship views, i actualy already talked to you about this, and tbh in his position it's like...He is prob on his 30's by now, right ?....So, he got women, he got sex, but no children...And if it's a rship thing, and at this point in his life....he fully knows (and he want's) his next rship, to be his last one. No point in avoiding it any longer, and there is actualy no more time, so he really got 2 *know* that he is making the *right choice* ^^ And it's not an easy thing to reach the conclusion that he will have abide in almost 4Bilion women, you know ? lolol....we have to be sure on this things...it's for the sake of the children you know... lolol xD

Ok Ok, lool i was j/k a bit on this last part (and *talking serious* at the same time ^^), but...lol you talked with him, you saw it for yourself, so you know what i am talking about when it comes to this rship part 🙂

And when i read that Part I you wrote, i was kinda smilling because finally...You were having Fun...and the best part...you where having fun while just being yourself....and isn't that great ?...I allways told you to be yourself 🙂

I smilled when you said that "he probably tried to contact other women" that day hehe You really think it was like that ?!...humm..i dunno...i really didn't thought it that way xD My best bet is that he actualy wanted to be with you on that night...You...and if you didn't answered back, or said anything, he wold skip on it entirely...and...he prob kinda knew you wold say yes ^^ I guess you can assume that also ^^ Because it's like...send a message to 3 woman...then the 3 say yes...then you have another problem at hands to fix because you have to "invent" some excuse to the other 2 to say "Why you can't now", and by now it's no longer fun, it's an arse...arffff...no way...2 much work lolol ^^ I actualy believe he just sent it to you ^^

And the Talks...yes, the talks are very important (!!!)...you should allways tell him how you feel like about something that he is doing, because in all honesty (and with me that's like, 99% of the times lool)...i am flat out clueless lolol And if you don't tell me anything...then i will think that everything is fine ! lool Trust me...remember the clueless part...lolol we know some stuff..but some we don't...lolol ^^ And that's where you come in...You tell him what you like, what you want...and if he likes you, trust me...he will do it for you..that's the best way you can check if an Aries likes you 🙂

And he is already doing the same with you...so why not ?...Why shouldn't you do it ?...You should actualy assume that he is dumb tbh lolol And It's like i also told you before...if it's meant to be...no matter what you say...It will be...that *forgiving yourself* thing is a hell of a *bitch* hehe 🙂

TLS you are in a very good spot atm with yourself, and this Aries...really you are...it's not only him that changed...you also changed, and that was really the most important part ^^ And he is *jealous* about that Aquarius guy lool Keep that card ok ? Don't hand it over so soon haha Keep him guessing hehe You will see all that passion come out with this one if you decide to *play it* haha xD

Well, It's a bit late here TLS, and i kinda g2g...but tomorrow i will continue, ok ? I barely scratched on the things i wanted to talk about, but you are really nailing this one, your observation where totaly on point ! ^^

And also what bmoon8 said is very true ! Keep that also, it was a good vision about it all ^^

Cya Tomorrow TLS, Take Care !

Posted by bmoon8

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by bmoon8

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by bmoon8

So this turned into a FWB situation. Who knows? It could potentially turn into more later on down the road. I, personally, am curious about those that I am interested in. Maybe he is more self absorbed? He talks about himself a lot with you. Aries open up more and more with you as we feel comfortable with you and trust you more. He is going to go slow with trust because he was betrayed by his ex gf and BF. I am sorry that he hurt and angered you with his impersonal behavior. It's hard to say why he flip flops with the hot and cold. I would open up to him about how hurtful it is to you that he does that... Maybe he'll stop doing it.

Somehow it did, it was not purposely planned out as so. Yes @bmoon8, I usually find that Rams are generally far more curious about others when they are interested. However, he never asked much questions of me even from day one. Though I noticed, he ask very little of others as well. It may be a personality trait. He seems to expect others to simply tell him things, or speak to him.

Yes, he does talk a lot about himself with me. Always did, but now even more so. He did speak of comfort, that he only sees someone over and over again if he finds comfort around them. We did speak of trust and certain fears we struggle with. In fact, both of us have a similar background in terms of trauma hence why it was a topic we were able to discuss openly. Almost like two survivors talking of survival and growth tactics.

He did anger and hurt me in the past with his impersonal behaviour. However, since we last met, he was very consistent. No hot and cold behaviour, therefore it has been a calmer, almost peaceful experience. This change has been surprising, since the last time I properly spent this much time with him was months ago. As I was in a relationship of sorts with a Water Bearer, in between. Therefore I was not in touch with the Ram Gent. if you read my latest updates, I did open up to the fact I prefer his filterless self. Since then, he holds back still, but not much. It is rather refreshing, how blunt you lot could be.

On another note - how have you been @bmoon8 ? 🙂

I've been busy working and going to school. Thanks for asking. I am doing classes online this semester and it is more work than going to the class in person. I work as a PC Tech at a local hospital - I repair computer related problems. I am going back to school to change my career to Nursing slowly working on prerequesite classes, and I am 40 years old doing it. I am so used to being in classes with people half my age... It makes it nice to know that someone is 50 years old in my English class doing it. No relationship stories to tell... Nothing new on that horizon.

Maybe he doesn't like to pry? That's good that he is showing more consistency. Do you think it will turn into more?

That does sound like progress and most importantly fulfilling. It is always nice to hear of someone pursuing something they want, no matter the age or time. If you want it, go get it, is the rule I usually prescribe. Happy to hear all is well. Besides, learning is something that should never stop. 🙂

Perhaps ... he had a rather complicated upbringing. It may have factored into his personality and made him who he is today. If he is not talking about himself, he rarely asks much of others. Even if and when flirting with other women, beyond the inane usual questions he speaks more of himself. Well, we do not see each other often. He is not as fluent in socialising as I am, if I were honest.

As for it turning into more, I hold no expectations at the moment. Mostly because I am living my life, and healing / growing from the terrible end that the Water Bearer ex had put me through. If it will happen, it will happen. I trust that when he is ready, or if I am ready, and all the pieces fall into place. Then it will, otherwise why force anything. Also since the Ram Gent said though he liked me, he is not ready for a commitment right now. He said we are friends. To him, he views commitment, a relationship, for the long term. I think he is rather black and white in that respect. If he is to want something, he wants it all. Long term, children, family, everything.

Therefore right now, I am focusing on enjoying his company when we do see each other. In fact, he has a lot of healing to do anyways. There are traumas of his ex, who cheated on him with his best friend eight years ago, that still haunt him. He is in denial about it, but as someone who cares but not want to enmesh myself into his troubles. I try to gently guide him towards a healthier pathway.

I've read your full stories on the Ram gent, but haven't read about the water bearer, so I am not in the know on what he did. Maybe I will stroll on over to the Aquarius forum - I saw that you were posting on him, but just didn't read about him. Yeah, I agree with you... that his past still affects him today, unfortunately.

click to expand

Frankly, I do not mind if his past affects him. It is what it is. However, it has become far more toxic than he is admitting. He knows it, but he does not wish to do anything about it. It is something he must come to a realisation about, on his own.

He is still close friends with the two people who betrayed him deeply. That cannot possibly be healthy. Not only so, but a part of him still cling unto that time in his past. All the work he puts into his life now is to prove that he will / is a better man now, that he could not be then. Yet, one cannot live for people in the past. He is not living for himself, in the present. Which is why he is as unhappy as he is.

Ah, but I have no desire to save him but only gently show him that there is a healthier way to live. That I understand him because I too have struggles of my own and relate to some of the issues he finds difficulty in.

Posted by bmoon8

You were living with the water bearer? How soon did you move in with him? You gave up a lot of your own personal power by doing that... don't do that again. @MyStarsShine has the right idea..she likes living alone. I live alone and would wait a long while before moving in with a significant other.

Ah @bmoon8, I did nearly moved in with him yet I kept my own home as well. We were living together, most of the week. However, most of my belongings were at my own place. Thankfully so, because though as much as I loved him a Stinger always keep a back up plan in case everything goes haywire.

Prior to him, I too was also living alone and enjoyed it. I enjoyed having my own space, and I still do. Therefore, I understand / relate to both you and Stars. You both are not wrong at all. Now, to be honest, back in my own home I feel far more sane.

No regrets on the experience, but I will definitely be far more hesitant the next time around. There were many factors as to why it ended up that way, to be living in that arrangement that is. Before him, I was never one to wish to spend that many a nights at the home of a SO.

Sing "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur! Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr!"

So, let's see.

As for that lack of curiosity thing, the "me me me" mentality or expecting you to share things....humm...i really don't know how to answer this one lol because it can be all, or none of them at the same time.

It depends. And mostly, it depends on the *thing* or the person. Because we are very curious people. But that's only when it's related to something that we want or want to do. If it's about something that we *don't want*, we simply and just, don't care at all.

But in your specific case...i think he is still measuring you..."How much can he share with you ?.."..."How much can you *take from him*, without judging him..."..."Can he be his own self, with you ?..."...That's basicly what's going on 🙂

So the curiosity will come, he will most likely will want to know everything about you, if he really gets to that point...but atm its kinda..."judging time" lol, And it's kinda ironic, isn't it ?...Judging you, because he doesn't want to be judged by you lol But so it is. ^^

And this is basicly where things come to an *halt* 99% of the times lol Be it on professional rships, freindship, romance...because we all have 2 sides or even many sides to that matter...and i can't be my true self if i see that the other person can't *take* all of my sides, or vice-versa. And i don't want to *be someone else* lol...I want to be who i am.

It really depends ^^

But my best advice is...if you want to say something, if you want to share something...say it ^^ And remember that the far majority of times....it is not actualy about what you have to say, it's about how you say it. Just be who you are 🙂

As for the Ram lady lol what can i say, you have your card, he got his card, you don't say too much, he doesn't say 2 much...and that's basicly both your *get away* cards lool ^^ Not much 2 say here tbh lol It really is what it is for both of you ^^

As for the proper gift thing, well...i said that he wold try to compensate you in anyway once he let it sink on himself what you were actualy doing for him at that time, didn't i ? 🙂

Aries...lol we can be such cunts, you know ? lol It really requires alot of patience sometimes ^^

But you have something that is very precious to this guy...he feels that he can speak to you...and i really believe he prob said things to you, that he prob didn't said to anyone else, but thing is...you just don't know about that ^^ But he might tell you that someday ^^

This thing with his past...like i said from the start, this is the *big elephant* in the room...on this particular case and specific topic...try to be more of a freind, rather then a partner at start, you know ?...Like listening, give advices that are focused on him on what's better for him, but don't touch the subject...don't say he is stuck in the past to him...try to find another path 🙂

I will try to add more to this when i can ^^

But kinda curious...why didn't you smilled back at him when he was working on that day and looking at you ? 🙂 So easy TLS...So obvious lol ^^ But it seems you are more interested in being observant ! Checking everything ! But not showing ! Must not Show !! hehe Just be who you are ^^ You wold prob (100% sure lol) get a "How was your day ? Sorry if i was working.." when he was done with all his work on that day hehe...but he Pisces mooned out you hehe xD

I found it strange that it didn't say a thing, very strange...so this was most likely the reason ^^

Take Care TLS ^^

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Hello there again dear Rams,

Recently, I may or may not have gotten the Ram sick. Obviously, he was not happy about it and became quite moody but he did not blame it on me. It may or may not affect his work. Though I cannot quite understand if he is moody or angry, at being ill for being ill itself, the inconvenience of it, of being ill and it affecting his work, or because I caused him to fall ill.

What would be the best way to help make him feel better, to give space .... or ?

Try to resistate him without pulling away...then call 911...

All problem solved!

New beginning!!!

Hugs and kisses....just be nice ... like you would any other human being...don't treat us like a pet..