taupixie
@taupixie
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 352 · Topics: 43
Being Denied on a Constant Basis
We are not in a committed relationship but we had sex a couple of times. He likes to lay claim on me, to imply that I belong to him, like a classic Scorpio Mars who is possessive, secretive, passive-aggressive and wants to be in control. I have never tried to claim him the same way, knowing well that I have no right to demand since we are not committed or ever agree to be exclusive. But I wonder if it would be a turn on for him if I actually do, the way he does to me, to lay claim on him, to imply to him that HE belongs to me?
Why do you want to be with a man that is constantly rejecting you? Honestly astrological sign aside no man wants a woman with no pride and eats up rejection on the regular but still show up for him, give him sex and accepts his bs claim to her knowing full well he just rejected her a minute ago. What do you want from him? And do you really believe a man that consistently says no will GIVE you love and/or a real relationship?
@tiki33, I understand your concern. In fact, I have received similar concern with regards to this man all the time. I can’t and I don’t want to justify myself or himself. All I can say is I believe there to be more to this.
Hopefully I only would like to hear more enlightening information on this. Why would we brush aside astrological knowledge when this forum is really about discussing in that manner? I would only like to learn and understand more.
Hopefully I only would like to hear more enlightening information on this. Why would we brush aside astrological knowledge when this forum is really about discussing in that manner? I would only like to learn and understand more.
Based off his Venus and mars, I’d say he wants to be possessed. Leo placements in general want to be wanted.
The aqua moon is what makes me doubt that tho. I have a cancer sun, aqua moon guy friend and let me tell you he’d probably get depressed if he felt like a woman was possessing him. He likes his freedom, not necessarily to roam; just freedom to have a life and friends and stuff. Wouldn’t want a girl who constantly worries about where he’s at when he ain’t answering the phone, or a girl who tries to control who he hangs out with.
Idk.
The aqua moon is what makes me doubt that tho. I have a cancer sun, aqua moon guy friend and let me tell you he’d probably get depressed if he felt like a woman was possessing him. He likes his freedom, not necessarily to roam; just freedom to have a life and friends and stuff. Wouldn’t want a girl who constantly worries about where he’s at when he ain’t answering the phone, or a girl who tries to control who he hangs out with.
Idk.
Posted by taupixieNarcissistic behaviour
We are not in a committed relationship but we had sex a couple of times. He likes to lay claim on me, to imply that I belong to him, like a classic Scorpio Mars who is possessive, secretive, passive-aggressive and wants to be in control. I have never tried to claim him the same way, knowing well that I have no right to demand since we are not committed or ever agree to be exclusive. But I wonder if it would be a turn on for him if I actually do, the way he does to me, to lay claim on him, to imply to him that HE belongs to me?
Cancer with an aqua moon is a no no.
Not worth the time.
Not worth the time.
Not necessarily brushing aside astrology but in reality astrology can help you understand rejecting behavior but it still won't fix how he's behaving with you.
When you steady on with a man that only takes what you give including taking as much sex as you give but on the other hand says no consistently you have understand he's not invested in you at all because he's NOT GIVING when he says no all the time.
He must give his thoughts, he must give his energy in dating you, he must give his energy to you in order to feel something for you, in order to feel a level of intimacy and emotional attachment to you but if he's saying no he's not GIVING his energy which means you're in a position to be exploited.
Just remember that every thought, every second of your energy that you GIVE to him he will take and as long as he's taking he will never really see you nor grow affection for you.
What tends to develop with these types are ROUTINES and you become just a part of his life routine,a habit but that part isn't always fluid or flexible.
You have to think more of yourself, you can't be someones attachment, habit or routine. He has to yield and say yes and that is him GIVING to you, once he gives to you in that way you won't be where you are with him.
When you stay with and give him a big part of yourself as he gives you no consistently you're conspiring & agreeing with his lack and once he realize you have poor self steem he'll just Dole more lack and more no's over and over, it won't end.
I caution you to start not showing up for no then your nonverbal queus will put him into a natural position to share himself more or move on.
When you steady on with a man that only takes what you give including taking as much sex as you give but on the other hand says no consistently you have understand he's not invested in you at all because he's NOT GIVING when he says no all the time.
He must give his thoughts, he must give his energy in dating you, he must give his energy to you in order to feel something for you, in order to feel a level of intimacy and emotional attachment to you but if he's saying no he's not GIVING his energy which means you're in a position to be exploited.
Just remember that every thought, every second of your energy that you GIVE to him he will take and as long as he's taking he will never really see you nor grow affection for you.
What tends to develop with these types are ROUTINES and you become just a part of his life routine,a habit but that part isn't always fluid or flexible.
You have to think more of yourself, you can't be someones attachment, habit or routine. He has to yield and say yes and that is him GIVING to you, once he gives to you in that way you won't be where you are with him.
When you stay with and give him a big part of yourself as he gives you no consistently you're conspiring & agreeing with his lack and once he realize you have poor self steem he'll just Dole more lack and more no's over and over, it won't end.
I caution you to start not showing up for no then your nonverbal queus will put him into a natural position to share himself more or move on.
Posted by Weeds
Cancer with an aqua moon is a no no.
Not worth the time.
I think it’s a pleasant combo! Very easy going and easy to get along with 🙃🙃
What happened to the edit button arghhhhh
Aqua moons are and can be very non-committal and will use mind controlling methods, pua methods, forms of manipulation to remain free. They are nice but many are obsessed with being free of attachments. They have a tendency to pull strings like a puppet master as they covertly lead a woman on. Plenty of threads with Women lamenting about this placement.
Aqua moons are and can be very non-committal and will use mind controlling methods, pua methods, forms of manipulation to remain free. They are nice but many are obsessed with being free of attachments. They have a tendency to pull strings like a puppet master as they covertly lead a woman on. Plenty of threads with Women lamenting about this placement.
Posted by tiki33
What happened to the edit button arghhhhh
Aqua moons are and can be very non-committal and will use mind controlling methods, pua methods, forms of manipulation to remain free. They are nice but many are obsessed with being free of attachments. They have a tendency to pull strings like a puppet master as they covertly lead a woman on. Plenty of threads with Women lamenting about this placement.
I guess I could see some doing this... But I know my favorite cancer friend with this moon moreso internalizes his dissatisfaction rather than plays it out on people. He’s also codependent and very emotional (albeit good at disguising it).
Im a cancer sun with a libra rising gemini mercury aquarius saturn and neptune and a whole load of other air placements but water is quite abundant too. My theory is that he doesnt know what he wants. Having incompatible elements in a chart is not fun because they reaaly dont mix. Like there is no way you could harmoniously combine water and air for example and so if he has a lot of incompatible elements in his chart showing bursts of warmth and then suddenly becoming cold is not intentional. He is just made that way. He probably doesnt even know he is sending mixed signals. I think i, as well as every other person here that has elements that dont blend well (especialy ones with water/air heavy charts) can understand him a bit. Not that you have to put up with that of course. If he is a cancer and has loads of air he is no true cancer and if you are looking for the quiet, emotional and private type look for someone else.
Posted by tiki33Wow. Great advice!
Not necessarily brushing aside astrology but in reality astrology can help you understand rejecting behavior but it still won't fix how he's behaving with you.
When you steady on with a man that only takes what you give including taking as much sex as you give but on the other hand says no consistently you have understand he's not invested in you at all because he's NOT GIVING when he says no all the time.
He must give his thoughts, he must give his energy in dating you, he must give his energy to you in order to feel something for you, in order to feel a level of intimacy and emotional attachment to you but if he's saying no he's not GIVING his energy which means you're in a position to be exploited.
Just remember that every thought, every second of your energy that you GIVE to him he will take and as long as he's taking he will never really see you nor grow affection for you.
What tends to develop with these types are ROUTINES and you become just a part of his life routine,a habit but that part isn't always fluid or flexible.
You have to think more of yourself, you can't be someones attachment, habit or routine. He has to yield and say yes and that is him GIVING to you, once he gives to you in that way you won't be where you are with him.
When you stay with and give him a big part of yourself as he gives you no consistently you're conspiring & agreeing with his lack and once he realize you have poor self steem he'll just Dole more lack and more no's over and over, it won't end.
I caution you to start not showing up for no then your nonverbal queus will put him into a natural position to share himself more or move on.
Leave him. For a week. No contact whatsoever. A cancer can’t handle that if he really cares about you. Test him.
The aqua moon makes him detached on the outside, but if he really cares, he’s secretly a big softy on the inside. Test him.
The aqua moon makes him detached on the outside, but if he really cares, he’s secretly a big softy on the inside. Test him.
Posted by Whorpioon the surface yes. But they are not self aware and make the same mistakes over and over.Posted by Weeds
Cancer with an aqua moon is a no no.
Not worth the time.
I think it’s a pleasant combo! Very easy going and easy to get along with 🙃🙃
click to expand
It's like ground hog day.
He isn’t absolutely selfish, self centred and ungiving. In fact, I feel that he has a soft spot for me, only that he veils it with indifference and denial. He unconditionally lent me money without question when I asked for it and he had warmly soothed me to sleep when I lost sleep because of a quarrel we had. What I’m trying to say is that I feel how much he cares for me that he could be willing to put aside his ego to ensure my well being as well. It almost feels like he wants to take care of me (like a life partner), but only that there is also some hesitancy and reluctance towards it.
I know his Aquarius Moon is a handful to deal with. I have tried understanding how to deal with this... how to understand the language of love of an Aquarius moon, without much success to apply to my current circumstance. My Cancer man, despite admitting that he (only) wants me (physically), does not admit to having any sort of feelings towards me. Truth be told, it is hard for me to fathom what this means. Even when I aptly pointed out that he is sexually attracted to me, as opposed to romantically, he denied that proposition... he claimed to having no attraction whatsoever 🤔
I know his Aquarius Moon is a handful to deal with. I have tried understanding how to deal with this... how to understand the language of love of an Aquarius moon, without much success to apply to my current circumstance. My Cancer man, despite admitting that he (only) wants me (physically), does not admit to having any sort of feelings towards me. Truth be told, it is hard for me to fathom what this means. Even when I aptly pointed out that he is sexually attracted to me, as opposed to romantically, he denied that proposition... he claimed to having no attraction whatsoever 🤔
"My Cancer man, despite admitting that he (only) wants me (physically), does not admit to having any sort of feelings towards me. Truth be told, it is hard for me to fathom what this means. "
Please don't tell me you are that dense. You must know what he meant by what he said. He was very clear and because you accepted his terms he throw you morsels.
You are taking meaningful moments, piecing them together, and then creating a narrative or creating a relationship that's imaginary.
You need a heavy dose of wake up. Anything he does after admitting he only wants sex is meaningless. Now of course you can piece his crumbs together and create an imaginary relationship where you define & apply meaning to his actions but the reality is for him you are just sex.
Please don't tell me you are that dense. You must know what he meant by what he said. He was very clear and because you accepted his terms he throw you morsels.
You are taking meaningful moments, piecing them together, and then creating a narrative or creating a relationship that's imaginary.
You need a heavy dose of wake up. Anything he does after admitting he only wants sex is meaningless. Now of course you can piece his crumbs together and create an imaginary relationship where you define & apply meaning to his actions but the reality is for him you are just sex.
So I take it he won't have the judge lift the restraining order against you?
I know he cares (for the lack of a better word that could have been approved by him) about me, A LOT. I know that it would be all worth it. I know he won’t simply take me for granted. BUT it is hard to get him to the right spot. I just want to learn and understand more on how to love him better especially with his Aquarius moon, the one sign that seems harder to reach, coupled with his Scorpio mars. This combination proves a huge challenge, the detached emotional nature with the secretive forward energy.
Slap me if I am wrong but how is ‘we had sex couple of tumes’ Makes anything any important and does OPost have rights to exist?
Since it is difficult for most of you to comprehend this, I suggest you may avoid this thread and move along. I want genuine and useful feedbacks and all I’m asking is very simple, just some knowledge on how to deal with these signs.
What you fail to recognize is you're already loving him better he just doesn't reciprocate. He hasn't been secretive with you, he's made it clear where he stands with you but you somehow have twisted his habitual behavior with you as something real and/or something more than what it is.
Have you ever thought that because he's made it clear that he's not attracted to you for the exception of sexual attraction that he now feels comfortable enough to keep you around as long as you don't rock the boat, Dole out sex on the regular and keep your standards low. You've made it easy for him so he tolerates you. There isn't anything you can do but play the position he's put you in. You won't be elevated to Girlfriend, never ever. You've taught him you'll settle and no man wants that kind of girl.
Do you really want a man that isn't attracted to you and tolerates your present?
Google imaginary relationship. You're in one and your stuck. It's a very miserable space.
You're
Posted by WhorpioI'm dating a Cancer with an Aqua moon. His ex was a Scorpio with serious jealousy issues. He said he had to break up with her because of that, even though he was incredibly in love with the girl... She was constantly accusing him of cheating on her and they fought a lot. I can see why she may have thought that: he likes to have his space and his alone time and isn't the greatest over texts.
Based off his Venus and mars, I’d say he wants to be possessed. Leo placements in general want to be wanted.
The aqua moon is what makes me doubt that tho. I have a cancer sun, aqua moon guy friend and let me tell you he’d probably get depressed if he felt like a woman was possessing him. He likes his freedom, not necessarily to roam; just freedom to have a life and friends and stuff. Wouldn’t want a girl who constantly worries about where he’s at when he ain’t answering the phone, or a girl who tries to control who he hangs out with.
Idk.
I also have an Aqua moon (and a Scorpio Mars) so I am very driven and have similar space needs and honestly I understand when we can't link up due to our schedules. We are both busy (I'm busier than he is) and have our own lives.
@tiki33, I heard you through and through. I appreciate your concern for my side of the story. I know what I’m getting into, & to be fair, I’m not all perfect myself. He says very harsh words to me, all these times, over texts, where he hasn’t been consistent. For the reason that he hasn’t been consistent, I put a lot of thoughts & benefits of doubt for him. Actually, when in person, he has always been very warm, respectful, caring & courteous. For example, he ignores me over texts, even when I got in trouble, he doesn’t seem to care. But when we meet in person, I found out that he remembers these things I’ve told him & he would try to talk to me about them, in a very caring way. The problem is we haven’t had much time to have this encounter in person because of distance. Is this all just an act? I don’t think so. I hold onto the memories of him and the us in the past when we spent time close together (but neither of us took the chance to go further with each other then). My observation is that he doesn’t bother with things that are out of his way, including us now because of distance. But if there’s anything that he could do to make a difference, he would put his effort into it. As an example, when I request for his financial assistance, he jumped in without question & also put effort to talk to me to understand my issue on that matter. I know whenever I talked about his good points, it’s so easy for others to assume I’m in delusions or trying to excuse his bad behaviours. I have nothing to defend against this point, there’s always 2 sides to a coin, 2 ways to look at something. But fret not because I don’t delusion myself to the point of torturing/suffering myself. While we are nothing official, I’m open to date other men & mingle around myself. I just can’t deny I feel the strongest connection for him currently hence my willingness to put as much effort as I could to us.
ut you can't love a connection and a connection can't love you back. Some women place connection above all else which prevent her from removing herself from a toxic or one sided situation from the start.
You just stated he's not there for you when you really need him which means it's an imaginary relationship where you're imagining he cares because he remembers the times you needed him and wanted to talk to you about it. He's dangling his carrot (carrot being him) in front of you to keep you confused but he's not the problem here, you are the problem for accepting his butterty behavior. You've taught him he can not be there for you and you'll still show up and be there for him. What you've allowed has created a toxic pattern with him.
You've taught him he can talk to you any kind of way and treat you any ole kind of way and you'll consistently stick up for him,be there for him which only serves to validate to him that he's treating you bad but also treating you the way you deserve to be treated because Women with a high degree of self love and self respect can't be bothered with a Man like the Man you're entangled with.
The only thing that can potentially turn things around for the both of you is you move on,stop eating crumbs and stop imagining what it would be like to be with him & then leave, allow him enough space where he has to reach out to you to have a real relationship with you. He has this out of sight out of mind mindset with you.
Do you really want a guy who gives zero fucks about you when you're not around but treat you like a princess or treat you like girlfriend when you're physically in front of him? Can't you see how confusing that is for yourself. It keeps you stuck.
As it stands there are no boundaries nor any level of commitment for changes to happen.
You just stated he's not there for you when you really need him which means it's an imaginary relationship where you're imagining he cares because he remembers the times you needed him and wanted to talk to you about it. He's dangling his carrot (carrot being him) in front of you to keep you confused but he's not the problem here, you are the problem for accepting his butterty behavior. You've taught him he can not be there for you and you'll still show up and be there for him. What you've allowed has created a toxic pattern with him.
You've taught him he can talk to you any kind of way and treat you any ole kind of way and you'll consistently stick up for him,be there for him which only serves to validate to him that he's treating you bad but also treating you the way you deserve to be treated because Women with a high degree of self love and self respect can't be bothered with a Man like the Man you're entangled with.
The only thing that can potentially turn things around for the both of you is you move on,stop eating crumbs and stop imagining what it would be like to be with him & then leave, allow him enough space where he has to reach out to you to have a real relationship with you. He has this out of sight out of mind mindset with you.
Do you really want a guy who gives zero fucks about you when you're not around but treat you like a princess or treat you like girlfriend when you're physically in front of him? Can't you see how confusing that is for yourself. It keeps you stuck.
As it stands there are no boundaries nor any level of commitment for changes to happen.
Sorry for the typos. Can't believe DXP doesn't have an edit button.
Posted by tiki33Hit details, and you can edit.
Sorry for the typos. Can't believe DXP doesn't have an edit button.
To OP, i already told you in another thread to move on.
It won't change.
It won't change.
It makes me wonder how all of you seem so much more in pain than me... I’m not harmed or subjected to abuse, not even psychologically/mentally if that’s what all of you may assume. Again & again I’d like to say that I know what I’m doing, trust my Leo moon that my ego & pride will take care of my sanity & trust my Gemini mars that I’m not as “absolutely” invested as I may seem... I’m here because it piques my curiousity & wonder & I’m still thirsting to push through for knowledge... does this assure? 🤔 basically I’m trying to say that I’m still here talking about this man because it “touches” my Gemini mars... any Gemini mars can relate here? Thank you for the love & care. I truly appreciate it 😘
Posted by nikkistarThank you. Saved me from my frustrations 😄Posted by tiki33Hit details, and you can edit.
Sorry for the typos. Can't believe DXP doesn't have an edit button.click to expand
Posted by KoniuchaaThank you. I'm beginning to see that.Posted by tiki33Your advice is awesome, but she isn't going to listen to any of it.
ut you can't love a connection and a connection can't love you back. Some women place connection above all else which prevent her from removing herself from a toxic or one sided situation from the start.
You just stated he's not there for you when you really need him which means it's an imaginary relationship where you're imagining he cares because he remembers the times you needed him and wanted to talk to you about it. He's dangling his carrot (carrot bring him) in front of you to keep you confused but he's not the problem here, you are the problem for accepting his butterty behavior. You've taught him he can not be there for you and you'll still show up and be there for him. What you've allowed has created a toxic pattern with him.
You've taught him he can talk to you any kind of way and treat you any ole kind of way and you'll consistently stick up for him,be there for him which only serves to validate to him that he's treating you bad but also treating you the way you deserve to be treated because Women with a high degree of self love and self respect can't be bothered with a Man like the Man you're entangled with.
The only thing that can potentially turn things around for the both of you is you move on,stop eating crumbs and stop imagining what it would be like to be with him and then & then leave, allow him enough space where he has to reach out to you to have a real relationship with you. He has this out of sight out of mind mindset with you.
Do you really want a guy who gives zero fucks about you when you're not around but trust you like a princess or treat you like girlfriend when you're physically in front of him? Can't you see how confusing that is for yourself. It keeps you stuck.
As it stands there are no boundaries nor any level of commitment for changes to happen.click to expand
You're projectng, projecting your pain onto us. You're completey invested or you wouldn't be asking how to love a man that is playing the commitmentphobia dance with you. We don't share your delusions so we're the ones in pain? Nice try but no. You're an addict, addicted to man that rejects you. Instead of moving on you sit around looking for ways to get out of the friend zone/friends with benefits and will say anything to hold on to potential.
If you're happy with his behavior towards you then there really isn't much to understand. He only wants sex, string you along, give you hope and you allow it. Now how you get out from under that position is completely up to you.
If you're happy with his behavior towards you then there really isn't much to understand. He only wants sex, string you along, give you hope and you allow it. Now how you get out from under that position is completely up to you.
Okay thank you tiki33
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7/17/1961
Any info appreciated!
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