Cancer man confusing me (I’m an Aries woman)

So I met this cancer man about 2 years ago because he started to frequent my workplace. I must say when I first saw him, my initial instinct was anger. I know this sounds typical Aries to be angry all the time, but I rarely show anger as I’m a cancer moon, Virgo rising. I prefer to be contained, sometimes sarcastic. I have gotten angry at people for being so attractive it hurts before, and that could have been the case, but I think I oddly knew he would hurt me? I’m still not sure why I felt it, it was such a rush of emotion upon first seeing him.



Nevertheless, he would come into my job and I began to know him and have a crush on him. He was very reserved and shy but I would wait for him to initiate texting. I would text first too sometimes but he’d often ignore me when I texted first. He told me he didn’t want a relationship, and I being an Aries woman was okay w something casual. But when it came time to hang out, he’d always flake. Then he would ask to take me out to dinner and told me I was really cute and cool. He’d still flake. I thought he was just really shy, but I feel like maybe he was dating someone else?

As months past (almost 9 or so) I got tired of the games and lashed out at him one day. Since then we don’t speak anymore, he has ignored all my texts. But he has left cryptic messages for me over social media. Changing his profile picture to specific things we talked about.



It has been some time since we’ve spoken and i can’t seem to move on from him. 😢 I am just confused, he seemed thrilled to hang out with me in any form and then would flake. I didn’t push him into anything serious or committed.

Maybe it's as simple as: He's a liar.

Why give such thought over a dude who has flaked on you time and time again? Don't you value your time. Your energy? He sounds like a complete waste of time.

Move on. He was bread crumbing you because you were interested and he was bored.

Doesn’t seem like he was ever interested with this type of behavior. Seems like he was just being nice but then not following through. Your instincts seemed to have been right.

I'm a Cancer guy, and have had a "thing" with a couple of aggressive, attractive Aries women. They can be intimidating, like they can't be controlled, and that causes insecurity in a retreating Cancer. There's something extremely attractive about Aries you just never forget.

He’s interested, but intimidated. His insecurity will prevail and so interest means absolutely nothing. What good is interest if you can’t advance it?

I had this exact same thing happen to me and like you, I was confused as to why he was initiating by asking me out when he had no intentions of carrying them forward. I eventually cussed him off for his egocentricity. That was the end of that douchebaggery.

Thank you all for your replies. I have been trying to move on some time now. I have seen other people and dont like him or value him because I know he treated me badly. I don't know why I can't get him out of my head!

He didn't want to take you out for dinner, it doesn't take 9 months for a man to reserve the table for his special lady.

Posted by Arielle83

1) you develop a crush, u text first

2) says he doesn’t want a relationship

3) you’re an Aries, so you’re “okay with something casual”

4) he flakes here and there, but compliments you here and there

5) you start getting paranoid he’s dating someone else

6) it’s been 9 months and you’re angry so you lash out at him.

7) he’s ignoring you but you believe he’s leaving cryptic messages via social media.

I don’t understand why you’re mad.

“ He told me he didn’t want a relationship, and I being an Aries woman was okay w something casual.”

You fooled yourself.

Cancer doesn’t just commit to anyone. Especially one that’s willing to be casual, but then lashes out.

He changed his mind when you got angry.

He doesn’t want a relationship, so he’s free to date anyone.

Don’t accept casual if you don’t want casual.

I’d see your whole position as trying to manipulate someone into a relationship when they don’t want one.

Bingo! 💯

Posted by Chipdaniels

Thank you all for your replies. I have been trying to move on some time now. I have seen other people and dont like him or value him because I know he treated me badly. I don't know why I can't get him out of my head!

It's your ego that can't get over it. You've never even dated or kissed this guy, it's been 9 months and you can't get over him? There's nothing to get over. Your ego was hurt because you were rejected. Nothing creates obsession like rejection.

Posted by Logger

I'm a Cancer guy, and have had a "thing" with a couple of aggressive, attractive Aries women. They can be intimidating, like they can't be controlled, and that causes insecurity in a retreating Cancer. There's something extremely attractive about Aries you just never forget.

Yeah. Fire, which crab is too pussy to handle.

Posted by Chipdaniels

So I met this cancer man about 2 years ago because he started to frequent my workplace. I must say when I first saw him, my initial instinct was anger. I know this sounds typical Aries to be angry all the time, but I rarely show anger as I’m a cancer moon, Virgo rising. I prefer to be contained, sometimes sarcastic. I have gotten angry at people for being so attractive it hurts before, and that could have been the case, but I think I oddly knew he would hurt me? I’m still not sure why I felt it, it was such a rush of emotion upon first seeing him.



Nevertheless, he would come into my job and I began to know him and have a crush on him. He was very reserved and shy but I would wait for him to initiate texting. I would text first too sometimes but he’d often ignore me when I texted first. He told me he didn’t want a relationship, and I being an Aries woman was okay w something casual. But when it came time to hang out, he’d always flake. Then he would ask to take me out to dinner and told me I was really cute and cool. He’d still flake. I thought he was just really shy, but I feel like maybe he was dating someone else?

As months past (almost 9 or so) I got tired of the games and lashed out at him one day. Since then we don’t speak anymore, he has ignored all my texts. But he has left cryptic messages for me over social media. Changing his profile picture to specific things we talked about.



It has been some time since we’ve spoken and i can’t seem to move on from him. 😢 I am just confused, he seemed thrilled to hang out with me in any form and then would flake. I didn’t push him into anything serious or committed.

Maybe you "can’t seem to move on from him." because you havent had the closure you had wanted. which is not even important in this case because the answer is obvious here. Maybe he contacted you more because of the other options you offered, but nothing serious here. My only advice to you, is please dont just let a person use you. If you offer 'casual' to him (or any other man) of course theres a big chance he'll take it, but that doesnt mean he will keep in touch with you. to me it seems as though he only spoke to you when he wished to. and you were available. Maybe he never saw anything serious about it from begining. You clearly liked him, so if you really think about it theres no such thing here as 'being an Aries woman was okay w something casual.' you clearly want something more which is okay, in fact, i think its great. but just make sure to be clear with saying what you really want next time. its really Important. the right man will accept it! Good luck.

I'm a cancer man and it sure sounds like he doesn't care for you. Just for the simple fact that you opened up to him and he still acted that way means he doesn't care or is not interested. Speaking for myself, I am very shy but if I'm into someone there is zero chance I'm going to flake on that person. So you should just stay away he doesn't deserve you.

Posted by Black-Mamba

If crab men are so intimidated by fire sign women than why the fuk do they only marry fire and air

And sometimes water

Hmmmmmm

I noticed that too. They love fire signs...I wonder why...

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Chessmess

Posted by Black-Mamba

If crab men are so intimidated by fire sign women than why the fuk do they only marry fire and air

And sometimes water

Hmmmmmm

I noticed that too. They love fire signs...I wonder why...

Maybe a lot of cancers with Leo mercury’s?

I’m a air and fire dominant cancer, but I only have one earth sign, so I think I do the best with what I’m lacking.

I find fire signs too emotional or reactionary.

click to expand

Yes, we tend to gravitate to what we need / lack. I think every sign does.

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Onigen

Posted by Logger

I'm a Cancer guy, and have had a "thing" with a couple of aggressive, attractive Aries women. They can be intimidating, like they can't be controlled, and that causes insecurity in a retreating Cancer. There's something extremely attractive about Aries you just never forget.

Yeah. Fire, which crab is too pussy to handle.

He’s such a pussy he straight up ignored her ass 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂

Cancer men aren’t pussy they just don’t give a fuck

You’re either on their radar or not

click to expand

He legit sounds scared of the Aries woman.

Posted by Onigen

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Onigen

Posted by Logger

I'm a Cancer guy, and have had a "thing" with a couple of aggressive, attractive Aries women. They can be intimidating, like they can't be controlled, and that causes insecurity in a retreating Cancer. There's something extremely attractive about Aries you just never forget.

Yeah. Fire, which crab is too pussy to handle.

He’s such a pussy he straight up ignored her ass 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂

Cancer men aren’t pussy they just don’t give a fuck

You’re either on their radar or not

He legit sounds scared of the Aries woman.

click to expand

He said they can be intimidating. What?! No that is called confidence and it's sexy as hell. Screw running away. I'd be hitting those flames.