cancer men...

i'm dating a cancer...
it took me awhile to give in
and show him my feelings.
he shows me alot =] thats what
one of the reason why i love him
but anyways i've notice that once i start to
show him my feelings he acts like a dick
well i won't really say a dick but he
just changes like hes playin games.
then that makes me pull up my wall again.
i dont know if he likes how i play hard to get
and once i stop playing hard to get he
acts different i dont know cant understand him
we been together for like 9 or 10 months now...

Then don't play ... games lead nowhere.

You want him?

Then don't play hard to get ... just "feel" him, that's all it takes.

i'm starting to give in.
its hard for me to trust someone.
when he does somthing that makes me
think imma put my wall back up.
i htink he's just trying to see
how much i love him? i guess.
me and him are alike in some ways
ima gemini 6/20 and he's a cancer 6/29.
but it seems to work out good

What do you mean by him playing games with you if you show him your feelings? How is he being a dick?

how can i explain this
he would act like me
when im finally showing my feelings
yhe hides his he acts like he dont care
i dont know if that makes sense but
imma think about it because i cant explain things right =X

He is probably just as confused as you are ... if both of you are showing superficial feelings openly, and then being mean to each other ignoring the real feelings when expressed.

At some point, you two are going to have to be real with this if you want a serious relationship. And since you can't control him .. you will have to make the first step yourself.

When he does express his true feelings to you ... don't put up a wall and play hard to get with him. Show him that you are ready to accept his feelings for you. If you do that, then he'll see that you care about him.

If two people aren't taking seriously, each other feelings, then there certainly cannot be any trust. There's nothing to be afraid of .. Cancer's are very sensitive to other people's feelings. The only reason he is acting this way towards you, is for the same reason you put up a wall against him ... he scard to trust you with his feelings.

Show him he can trust you, by caring for his feelings, and he will show you the same back. The only require for a Cancer man to love you is to "feel" him emotions with him. This is the only way to love a Cancer. Don't worry, these men are very in-tune with feelings, he will know how to care for your feelings.

Don't be afraid .. let down your wall.

"lieshurtforever" I Think I Know Exactly What You Are Talking About, I'm a Aquarius And My Ex-Boyfriend Was A Cancer. I Would act tough and hide my feelings, he seemed like that excited him to try to figure me out, I was a mystery to him, but if I would just open up to him and share my feelings, he would become distant, idk, maybe some Cancer Males have a hard enough time dealing with there own feelings, its not that he doesn't care, maybe he feel your not being true even if you think you are, Cancer's are some very intuitive men. Cancer Men Can Be Some Of The Best Mates Ever if you have the patience and time to understand them, which many don't(including me). If You really want this relationship to work set aside your zodiac signs and look at the both of you (as a man & woman) and I'm sure the both of you can do something different in your relationship to make the other feel more comfortable to express/share your feelings. --->Communication is the Key

"lieshurtforever" I Think I Know Exactly What You Are Talking About, I'm a Aquarius And My Ex-Boyfriend Was A Cancer. I Would act tough and hide my feelings, he seemed like that excited him to try to figure me out, I was a mystery to him, but if I would just open up to him and share my feelings, he would become distant, idk, maybe some Cancer Males have a hard enough time dealing with there own feelings, its not that he doesn't care, maybe he feel your not being true even if you think you are, Cancer's are some very intuitive men. Cancer Men Can Be Some Of The Best Mates Ever if you have the patience and time to understand them, which many don't(including me). If You really want this relationship to work set aside your zodiac signs and look at the both of you (as a man & woman) and I'm sure the both of you can do something different in your relationship to make the other feel more comfortable to express/share your feelings. --->Communication is the Key

:: shakes head ::


If feelings are held hostage for some expected result within a game for purposes to gain attention, rather than an expression of sincerely "feeling" the other person .. then expect to be played.

It is not about playing games, it is about not letting another person depend on you to express their feelings. To each's own. What works for some people doesn't work for others and everybody so if you have something that works for you. Then do you!

I think my Ex-Cancer didn't mind me expressing my feelings, but I think it scared/worried him to think that if I became too emotional/dependant, Who would be the confident one in the relationship? Most Cancer Men Need Strong Confident Women (Mother Like). I am honestly a very strong woman, and that maybe the reason why I attract so many Cancer Sign Men, but I just don't have the patience/time to deal with a Cancer Man, I Love them, there great men, but.........................................................


"It is not about playing games, it is about not letting another person depend on you to express their feelings. To each's own. What works for some people doesn't work for others and everybody so if you have something that works for you. Then do you!"

I Agree, what works for some people doesn't work for others.

I think my Ex-Cancer didn't mind me expressing my feelings, but I think it scared/worried him to think that if I became too emotional/dependant, Who would be the confident one in the relationship? Most Cancer Men Need Strong Confident Women (Mother Like). I am honestly a very strong woman, and that maybe the reason why I attract so many Cancer Sign Men, but I just don't have the patience/time to deal with a Cancer Man, I Love them, there great men, but.........................................................


EXACTLY! Point made very clearly. YOU shouldn't deal with or have time and patience with a man who cannot openly express what he is feeling. It is beating a dead horse, so why get addicted to the thrill and frustation of trying too. I agree wholeheartly with your statement. If he cannot express his feelings, to you openly then I guess he feels that he is not important enough or worthy enough of you. Cancer men express feelings to you. You just have to give him some time and SPACE to think about it.

No patience or understanding is going happen with a emotionally immature male whether he is a Cancer male or any male for that matter. You shouldn't ALLOW yourself to have time or patience for an emotionally lazy man. Time is not on your side.

"it is about not letting another person depend on you to express their feelings."

No arguement about dependence ... however, you have to allow another person to express how they feel, without using these feelings against them, or ignoring them .. to only use them against the other person by holding them hostage through trips of guilt to gain attention.

And that's I gleened out of you not accepting his feelings, which made him hide in his shell, just to later hold it against him by telling him that you are showing him attention now and why isn't this good enough. That's not sincere feelings for another person .. that's holding his feelings towards you hostage to use at your discretion for guilting him with his feelings.

krobe .. you appear to be a player by what you said. You can't treat a Cancer (or any man) that way and expect to have him/her to regard you with any respect.

And I completely disagree with how you coached lieshurtforever, to whom is a woman in love with a Cancer man, by telling her, "If he goes back to being emotionally lazy cut him completely off until he can get a grip of his feelings." ..... this is telling her to play a head-game at the cost of both their feelings, by attempting to manipulate him into being forthcoming with emotions other than what is coming from his heart.

If you love a person, then you have to accept what emotional depth they have to give you .. you have to embrace that this is the way in which they know how to express it .. you cannot turn it away because it's not within your expectations to please yourself, and then use these feelings against them through guilt, and expect to have a loving and respectful relationship built around sincerity.

In your attempt to prove that your reason for saying this is because you believe that a person shouldn't be emotionally dependent upon you, is actually in contridiction to what you expressed.

To embrace a person's feelings for how they know how to express, isn't dependence.

To turn a person's feelings away to make them express according to your standards, is actually suggesting to them to be dependent upon your acceptance of whether you value them or not.

My hope is that lieshurtforever recognizes the difference, and finds her right path to show this man that she is ready to accept his feelings in whatever fashion they come out, instead of pushing him away and making him be dependent at her discretion of his self-worth in love.

For Any Relationship to work, the 2 people have to be on a mature emotional/communication level. I don't think any one is advising "lieshurtforever" to play games or hide her emotions from her mate, its just that some men are immature when it comes to expressing emotions (some women are also), no matter what zodiac sign (which does not matter), I grew up with nothing but brothers (Scorpio,Aquarius,Virgo, & Capricorn), some guys just don't know how to deal with other ppl feelings, its not that they don't care about others feelings, its just sometimes its hard for them to react/say the right thing.

I'll honestly admit putting aside our zodiac signs, My Ex & I were both on a immature communication/emotional level, that's why we are no longer together, he did not want to deal with my issues and I did not want to deal with his issues, we were both stubborn & spoiled and we both held on for a long time because the love was there, but we both did not want to change. If Something is meant to be it will be.
Like I Mention B4 if this is honestly a issue for her "set aside your zodiac signs and look at the both of you (as a man & woman) and I'm sure the both of you can do something different in your relationship to make the other feel more comfortable to express/share your feelings. --->Communication is the Key

I think her crab is making her "soft" 😉

I'm a Cancer and speaking from experience, most of us are good men. The problem comes with the women taking advantage of our compassion. If you're straight with us from the get go, things work out. Don't try the 'lovable' girl one day and then the 'I'm too independant' the next because it will blow up in your face. Put yourself in our shoes. Image men doing that to you. What would be your reaction?

Also, most men would admit this but if they've been burnt before they will be distant with any woman following (just like women do in the same situation). He may or may not tell you the reason why, so he may do the 'loving' one day and the 'distant' the next. That's where the communication comes along. Not the 'I'm different from her/him' but the type of communication that can build trust to allow both to open up more. Both sexes need that even though most men don't openly admit it.

Now, on the flip side, if you feel as though he's playing games by all means lose him. That's better than tearing yourself up over this guy which may cause you more 'damage' in the long run. By that I mean once you do break it off with him, the next guy will pay for his mistakes. You (nor anyone in that situation) may do it intentionally but it happens and you may end up pushing the guy away that could be your '1'.

Now, on the flip side, if you feel as though he's playing games by all means lose him. That's better than tearing yourself up over this guy which may cause you more 'damage' in the long run. By that I mean once you do break it off with him, the next guy will pay for his mistakes. You (nor anyone in that situation) may do it intentionally but it happens and you may end up pushing the guy away that could be your '1'.

From a male's perspective thank you! If a man is not openly expressing his feelings to a woman AFTER she has expressed a situation is bothering her and the man continues to do the same thing then he is mistreating her.

No woman deserves to suffer through emotional abuse from any male whether it is a Cancer man or not. I am not a player and I don't claim to be a player. I am a woman who deserves respect and I get respect on a daily basis from the man I am with.

P-Angel go and find someone else to argue with! Any woman who respects herself has standards to live by and she will not allow herself to be an open doormat for emotional abuse.

My dear one, that's the way Cancer men are-----insecure. That's why they are very vulnerable to snakes (sneaky women) b/c they know how to play the games better than the Cancer. Game players always get what they deserve in the long run. It's sad but immature Cancers will pull back when you show them love and when you pull away they will run towards you. If you don't have the stomach for it---RUN. After 5 years I got tired of the push me pull me cycle. It's too disheartening and painful for my taste. Good luck!

LOL, honestly, it's hard NOT to give in to a cancer guy. The bad apples make you think they're the greatest men in the world, but the good ones don't know how to express themselves so we leave them alone. Goodness, what a crazy cycle.

""I'm a Cancer and speaking from experience, most of us are good men. The problem comes with the women taking advantage of our compassion. ""

Indeed, kind of like Jesus. As in, Christ.


He was, in fact, a Cancer. The religious institutions don't want you to know that.

haha. cancer males i've dealt with all had it in their heads that their emotions were the only ones at stake. they could be sweet as pie, perfectly angelic and loving but i couldn't put up with them after a while. didn't have the patience to deal with the perpertual back-and-forth movements, their unwillingness to put down their defenses. figured i want a man who will fight for me, who won't risk losing me, b/c hell, i'm bad with vulnerability but there comes a time when i put my emotions on the line if i see i might lose the person over it. i'd rather be honest with my feelings and get hurt then walk away and regret that i didn't do all i could to let that person know how much they meant to me. cancers defeat themselves. i hate to watch this.

sensitive feelings, insecurities & having difficulties in expression is not something that a cancerian choose to be born with. they are just born like that, it is not some kinda games they enjoy playing. what other signs easily dismiss off as nothingness, cancerians feel it, deeply. that is how they are. instead of looking at the caring side of a cancerian, the strength, they focus so much on their weaknesses & criticise it, instead of helping the cancerian to overcome this fragile feelings.

pretty sick of people slamming cancerians as players just because they couldn't understand the emotional turmoil a cancerian is born with. This is just as bad as slamming people who are slow because they are mentally challenged.

Yes, sometimes they are shallow, yes they're moody, but once you understand how the cancerian mind works, and how caring they can be to those they love, you'll love them to bits...
And if we are taling about shallow, aren't we all shallow at one point of another in our lives? Maybe the person wasn't so important to get to know in depth.
Insecure, moody? they are. But that's what's so sweet about them. I wasn't thinking that way not long ago, when I realised that the moods were not related to me, it's more someting of a "I hate the world, please leave me alone" kind of mood. And the insecurities? Lovely.
And in spite of the insecurities, they never back down under pressure, you'd never tell from the way they carry themselves.

i agree with all you guys said, and i love cancers moods and all(yes, very sweet), but don't you think that the feelings should come out naturally, why the need to surpress and hide, when it creates confusion and even more likely to get hurt......i don't think they are shallow, though, i think that they are aware of those feelings very very well, they are just so scared and afraid of the effect that the ones they love can have on them, because they always want to please

yeah, here's the thing that i don't like about cancers, as i eluded to earlier: they act as if they're the only ones who feel things so deeply, that they have to constantly protect themselves and expect the other person to be more forthcoming and deal with it(and i say this through my experience, in no way do i mean to imply that all are like this, obviously i haven't experienced all and never will...). Scorpios are extremely sensitive too, and very self-critical, therefore we can be terribly insecure as well. but i guess we have a strong will and drive because as i said, if i have to make myself vulnerable for someone, in order to reassure them, i certainly will. the problem is constantly being the one to have to do that. it's got to be give and take, both have to participate. cancer's got to make the other person feel secure as well, not just the other way around, you can't just expect them to chase you at all costs. people have dignity, and just plain respect not to push someone if they don't feel wanted. a relationship requires that you make yourself vulnerable, anything you get involved with emotionally of course has the potential to hurt you, that's part of loving someone, the possibility of pain.
but like i said, so many cancers defeat themselves with their worrying and by only looking at the negative that they squirm their way out of caring for someone. this is sad.
i understand it though. why get so overwhelmingly ivolved if the person is going to hurt you? you have to be sure that they love you and that they won't hurt you or leave you, i guess it makes sense to put them through "tests" to see if they're still around, to see what they're willing to go through to be with you. when you're very sensitive you've got to protect yourself, your emotions are so strong and you're so easily hurt that they've got to be spent on the right people. sigh. frustrating!

i agree scorp978

IsabelScorpia, thank you for your lines, you just made me realize something about me cancer guy.....he behaves like that because he needed reassurance, the more, the better and i misunderstood him thinking that he doesn't want me at times or that he doesn't care, what a shame because me being a proud person i will never go back straight away and reassure him on the contrary i would take back all the nice things and say things that would definetly hurt him, oh, my god, this is very serious, thanks very much for that IsabelScorpia!!!!!!!

....on the other hand if you keep on reassuring them they can see you as being pushy, so you cannot win because there cannot be a way out—?

Im a cancer guy
reading over your comments
it does sound as though us cancers have got it bad
i have my sun, moon, mercury and mars all in cancer.
So you can imagine, i am very sensitive.
I think the fear we have of rejection and exspressing how we feel,
is related to the fact that being so sensitive leaves us vunerable
but with reassurance and trust that all changes.
The more we get, the more love we give and there is no limit to it,
our love is compassionate and deep
we need a partner who can provide us the safety
we need to venture from our shells

Posted by wineaux
I love this thread ... Thomas, if you are reading this, THIS is why people might find you hard to understand.

Detective Thomas, to your post!

As sensitive as they are, they can handle criticism and verbal combativeness.. especially (or maybe only if) it's permitted. Cancers are not stupid people and they know when they are being unfair or if they're playing games (even if it is to spare their feelings). They need someone who will be able to put them in their place, while at the same time, show them the proper amount of love and affection.

The times I played along with my cancers games (push-pull, hot & cold, back & forth crap), it ended entirely in confusion and frusteration. On the other hand, the times I was actually completely honest (while using my fair share of choice words and yes, spewing anger) he really surprised me. If he didn't immidiately start owning up to his bad behavior, I'd give him a few days and he'd come back around and act in an entirely different (much more honest and caring) way.

I think what's important to remember is to be yourself and try to be as honest as you can at all times. Be sure of yourself and your feelings and it will reassure them. Don't shy away out of fear and don't cave into bad behavior because you feel like you're at a dead end. Stand your ground at all times and just be yourself. This will put THEM through the necessary tests they need to go through for love. Yeah, they'll test you too but they need to be encouraged to be that best person they can be. Otherwise, they WILL find someone else because they're not being challenged. Everyone wants to be challenged to be the best person they can be. Who wants to be with someone who puts up with absurd behavior?

Problem is for Cancers it that it is near impossible to emotionally challenge a Gemini unless its a universal thing the twins can both agree on.

Gemini's can give us alot of disclosure, but we feel like they never give us that full disclosure to their darkest secrets because the other twin is always playing devils advocate. We start getting confused at what we are trying to convey because we don't know what personality we are talking to at the time LOL.