Fuck Buddy

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by taupixie on Tuesday, July 25, 2017 and has 62 replies.

Understanding the Dynamics of Your Possible Fallback Partner

It sounds like your connection may have become exclusive or special, but clear communication is essential. Since he mentioned the last time was with you, it suggests some level of exclusivity. Confirm your relationship boundaries directly to avoid misunderstandings and ensure both of you are on the same page.

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Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

We had sex more than a year ago.

He ignored me & went overseas.

I initiated conversation with him again & we agreed on having sex again.

He said the last time he had sex was with me.

Did I somehow gain an exclusive fuck buddy unknowingly?

Profile picture of Cancan26
@Cancan26
10 Years5,000+ Posts

No. No more of this... Situation ships... So what if he only had sex with you since the last time HE IGNORED YOU. It's fuck BUDDY not random sex guy... He has a built in excuse for not hanging out cause he is over seas ...He didn't even give you the courtesy of texting...

😢 forget about him and find someone that can give you all the love your earthy soul deserves

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Cancan26
No. No more of this... Situation ships... So what if he only had sex with you since the last time HE IGNORED YOU. It's fuck BUDDY not random sex guy... He has a built in excuse fir not hanging out cause he is over seas ...He didn't even give you the courtesy of texting...

😢 forget about him and find someone that can give you all the love your earthy soul deserves

I would have said this is a less than nice way. lol

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by tiziani
DXP = sidechick Inception.

A sidechick within a sidechick.

And even sidepieces when it's the men.

Just be glad you have awareness of it. You can leave the dream.

But she she hasn't left the matrix yet. She doesn't even know she's in the matrix.

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

Posted by over_thinker

all i would like to say is, just have fun until you are having it. Don't invest emotionally. and never go back and forth in your life.. its not healthy.

Much appreciated 🙂

Sorry guys, I don't watch inception nor matrix...

All responses taken in & your views well understood. It's a unanimous "no"

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

Since everyone is so responsive this time, I just need some answers on another question.

I found out he has liked some pages of a certain travel destination I went to. Last year. These are odd liked pages among a lot of pages of his interests. It's hard to settle that this is just coincidence. However, I always appreciate the hard slaps from everyone. Thank you in advance.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by taupixie
Since everyone is so responsive this time, I just need some answers on another question.

I found out he has liked some pages of a certain travel destination I went to. Last year. These are odd liked pages among a lot of pages of his interests. It's hard to settle that this is just coincidence. However, I always appreciate the hard slaps from everyone. Thank you in advance.

Liking the place you travelled to in no way indicates he likes you. Stop scrambling for a sign that he is more into you than he is.

Use him for sex if you want. Don't get emotionally attached.

Profile picture of DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by Cancan26
No. No more of this... Situation ships... So what if he only had sex with you since the last time HE IGNORED YOU. It's fuck BUDDY not random sex guy... He has a built in excuse for not hanging out cause he is over seas ...He didn't even give you the courtesy of texting...

😢 forget about him and find someone that can give you all the love your earthy soul deserves

Maybe she ain't look in for love

Profile picture of DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by taupixie
Since everyone is so responsive this time, I just need some answers on another question.

I found out he has liked some pages of a certain travel destination I went to. Last year. These are odd liked pages among a lot of pages of his interests. It's hard to settle that this is just coincidence. However, I always appreciate the hard slaps from everyone. Thank you in advance.

Okay. If this was a year ago, and u guys were shagging, yes it could be related.

But it's a year later.

I used to fool around with an Aries and he was steadily liking old pics and I found out a year later.

Guys do that to get your attention.

Profile picture of Cancan26
@Cancan26
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by DMV

Posted by Cancan26
No. No more of this... Situation ships... So what if he only had sex with you since the last time HE IGNORED YOU. It's fuck BUDDY not random sex guy... He has a built in excuse for not hanging out cause he is over seas ...He didn't even give you the courtesy of texting...

😢 forget about him and find someone that can give you all the love your earthy soul deserves

Maybe she ain't look in for love

click to expand

She might not be... But even in a fuck buddy scenerio there should be basic respect and him IGNORING HER and the wanting sex is a negative ...at least for me.

Fuck buddies should have

RESPECT

BOUNDARIES

EXPECTIONS SET IN PLACE

and if your doing this under the guise of fwb... You should be a FRIEND with benefits...

No judgement at op all... Just pointing out things objectively

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

DMV, you made a point that it's a year ago and he was doing it to get my attention.

Cancan26, I don't feel that he has disrespected me except that he refused to keep in touch or show any indication of romantic interest. Yes, I'm aware. But otherwise, he is still very much a respectful gentleman. He actually allows me the decision whether I'm sure to sleep with him.

Actually I've mostly been successful at keeping him at bay & trying to move on, but whenever I relapse, I go into stalker mode trying to find signs that he has moved on & to convince myself to forget him. Sometimes, I discover the contrary, and realised how I must have "wronged" him all these years because of his extremely subtle ways. Do guys go to length to "plant" signs of interest in you to impress you over the course of almost a decade? I'm not sure. I have since learned he has Mars in Scorpio & Moon in Aquarius.

Why he doesn't make a clear & bold move? Others say that he doesn't love enough or is only after sex.

There I go again xD

Profile picture of Cancan26
@Cancan26
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by DMV
Fwb fuck buddies etc

Rules? There are no rules.

Its women believing that they are in some kind of relationship and entitled to respect and returned phone calls.

...when. You don't set boundaries or expections like an adult... And just leave it to vague whatever's it leads people to make threads on dxp asking strangers what the other person actions meant... Which is why were here if op wanted to know if they were in an exclusive fuck buddy situation she would have simply asked but she didn't cause... You... Know.. No rules or whatever

Profile picture of justagirl
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by taupixie
DMV, you made a point that it's a year ago and he was doing it to get my attention.

Cancan26, I don't feel that he has disrespected me except that he refused to keep in touch or show any indication of romantic interest. Yes, I'm aware. But otherwise, he is still very much a respectful gentleman. He actually allows me the decision whether I'm sure to sleep with him.

Actually I've mostly been successful at keeping him at bay & trying to move on, but whenever I relapse, I go into stalker mode trying to find signs that he has moved on & to convince myself to forget him. Sometimes, I discover the contrary, and realised how I must have "wronged" him all these years because of his extremely subtle ways. Do guys go to length to "plant" signs of interest in you to impress you over the course of almost a decade? I'm not sure. I have since learned he has Mars in Scorpio & Moon in Aquarius.

Why he doesn't make a clear & bold move? Others say that he doesn't love enough or is only after sex.

There I go again xD

His lack off attention towards you IS an answer, You got told several threads ago, he isn't interested, yet you beat the dead horse with this guy.

You are basically offering him your pussy in your need to "have" him and many guys won't turn that down.

Respect yourself enough to walk away from this guy. It's been over a year of these type of threads ?

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

Hahaha I can hear how frustrated people are with my kind of threads here. Okay okay, I'm just wondering & curious... it doesn't have to become heated 😄 and I'm fine really, the sex isn't that bad 🙂

Profile picture of Cancan26
@Cancan26
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by justagirl

Posted by taupixie
DMV, you made a point that it's a year ago and he was doing it to get my attention.

Cancan26, I don't feel that he has disrespected me except that he refused to keep in touch or show any indication of romantic interest. Yes, I'm aware. But otherwise, he is still very much a respectful gentleman. He actually allows me the decision whether I'm sure to sleep with him.

Actually I've mostly been successful at keeping him at bay & trying to move on, but whenever I relapse, I go into stalker mode trying to find signs that he has moved on & to convince myself to forget him. Sometimes, I discover the contrary, and realised how I must have "wronged" him all these years because of his extremely subtle ways. Do guys go to length to "plant" signs of interest in you to impress you over the course of almost a decade? I'm not sure. I have since learned he has Mars in Scorpio & Moon in Aquarius.

Why he doesn't make a clear & bold move? Others say that he doesn't love enough or is only after sex.

There I go again xD

His lack off attention towards you IS an answer, You got told several threads ago, he isn't interested, yet you beat the dead horse with this guy.

You are basically offering him your pussy in your need to "have" him and many guys won't turn that down.

Respect yourself enough to walk away from this guy. It's been over a year of these type of threads ?

click to expand

Right I remeber this from a couple of threads ago... This isn't a Fuck buddy thing op LIKES him.. Like. Really likes him

..

Forget about him 😢

Profile picture of Cancan26
@Cancan26
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by taupixie
Hahaha I can hear how frustrated people are with my kind of threads here. Okay okay, I'm just wondering & curious... it doesn't have to become heated 😄 and I'm fine really, the sex isn't that bad 🙂

🤗 I don't think anyone is heated with you ? Your just making it really complex when it doesn't have to be...

Ask if you are in an exclusive fuck buddy situation ...

Ask why he ignored you IF you wanted to know

Ask to be more if you want or don't

But just accept what ever answer. He gives as the plain and honest truth 🤗

Profile picture of LazyK
@LazyK
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by taupixie
We had sex more than a year ago.

He ignored me & went overseas.

I initiated conversation with him again & we agreed on having sex again.

He said the last time he had sex was with me.

Did I somehow gain an exclusive fuck buddy unknowingly?

This is definitly something more than fuck buddy status

He probably secretly loves you & wants to be with u

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

tiziani, I hadn't doubted his financial situation. I don't remember what I've shared here, but that occasion when he talked about his finances he had started the topic himself & offered the information without any prodding from me. It caught me by surprise that he was telling me his financial situation, personal things & plans because he is distant & impersonal in texts. I remember feeling like he was 'bragging' which I'm meaning this positively.

Cancan26, I was done asking him those questions in the past. I know exactly how he will answer them. You're very sweet. Thank you.

nikkistar, bear with it if you choose to read 😉

I will conclude that he is keeping his options open but I have a huge feeling that he actually mirrors my action, after years of observation & understanding his behaviours. For which I'm perplexed why he does this... why doesn't he just claim me & make me his? He knows well I like him that much, yet he doesn't want to & he pushes me away when I get close. But if I go out with another, I'm sure he will immediately do the same. Can someone just explain this?

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

Buddy cancelled our rendezvous... and he's leaving overseas soon.

I feel like he's always somehow afraid of me... hmmm 😢

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

The analogy that best describes this thread is a car accident. You see it a million miles away, but you gotta slow down and stare at it as you drive by.

The fact that you can't even see you own delusional thinking is a little terrifying to watch. No matter what anyone says, you will take whatever he says and spin it in that crazy head of yours to mean something else.

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

Sometimes I wonder who are the delusional ones if those who are not directly involved insist they know better what is going on & only can resort to name calling & labelling without much content & constructive comments to contribute.

I don't usually like to demean anyone but don't get too self righteous.

But what do I expect from such a forum anyway...

Cheers!

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

Posted by tiziani

I was going off what you'd written previously about his finances, but it's your word that counts.

Thing is when you're naval-gazing like this it's a classic sign you're not really taken by this guy. One day you hopefully will meet someone when you won't have to observe them for years and just not question it.

I understand what you mean, trust me that I've processed this, I've tried moving on & forgetting it. I can only say perhaps I'm obstinate, perhaps I'm not satisfied letting this be. But I appreciate the concern & well wishes here. Don't worry because I'm managing myself well... Perhaps I'll just go along as far as I can until I no longer can...

I'm only looking to understand his behaviours & thought processes more... I know some people believe that I don't have business to bother & I'm just wasting my time

Profile picture of Mimi24
@Mimi24
9 Years500+ PostsLeo

Its true that it is your story and u only know what's going on. My advice would be to reach out if u want clear answers. I wish you nothing but happiness and to find someone amazing that will see your worth. ?

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

We had sex more than a year ago.

He ignored me

I initiated conversation with him again & we agreed on having sex again.

I found out he has liked some pages ... Last year... However, I always appreciate the hard slaps from everyone.

I don't feel that he has disrespected me except that he refused to keep in touch or show any indication of romantic interest ... he is still very much a respectful gentleman. He actually allows me the decision whether I'm sure to sleep with him.

Now let's go to a year ago...

*This came after almost 2 weeks of absolutely no contact, my last message wishing him the best as he goes back to where he needs to further studies. Almost 1 month after I wished him a happy birthday. He hasn't replied to any of these messages anymore.*

I feel bad if I hadn't been able to leave him alone too. I'm resolving to let go, move on & not contact him anymore...same circle during college 10 years ago but drifted apart & lost touch but rekindled about 2 years ago when I initiated contact with him again.

I have added his mobile phone number (that I got from his Facebook profile) into my address book that I could see his WhatsApp profile photo. When we got to talking over Facebook Messenger, we exchanged our mobile numbers formally

I have obsessively visited his Facebook page daily anyway & there are still some information I could view. 1 of it is his friend list.

Nothing new. He had not replied my messages since the last messages on the day after we met.

Even after a few sporadic long confrontational messages from me & my promise to move on from him since there isn't any interest shown from his part.

As if avoiding me on WhatsAp...I also very often caught him going offline as soon as I go online

Since our last meeting which was the first meeting after 10 years, except for some small talk on that same day after our meeting, Cancer man has not replied to any of my messages since then.

click to expand

You are delusional. You have stalked this dude. And I even doubt you actually slept with him. Because from your past posts, you don't ever talk about it. He ghosted you the day after you met.

For the last year, you have been doing stupid shit over and over, and you can't even see that your actions are completely asinine at this point.

Something is wrong with you.

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

Mimi24, thank you for the well wishes ?

tiziani, it just occur to me that when you mentioned about the finances, you must have mixed up with another guy I briefly mentioned sometime ago who was my junior colleague then... ? I admit my fault for being all over the place with my posts.

nikkistar, first of all I must applaud you for a great job in compiling my past posts ?? All I can say is, of course I don't share each & every piece of my life here in dxpnet. It's obvious I only come here & post when I'm frustrated & want answers to specific & focused topics. I don't have to prove to you I slept with him & all the conversations we had or our history... so I'll leave you to your entitled belief. I still wonder why you bother with my threads since you don't believe any of it. Perhaps you now develop a mission to disprove what I said? ?

Perhaps something is wrong with me, but it is not delusional or attention seeking or whatever else you suspect. I'm just extremely obstinate & I have admitted it many times & I don't hide nor deny that.

Don't overthink or stalk me too much. You don't have to ?

Profile picture of CancerOnTheCusp
@CancerOnTheCusp
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by nikkistar

We had sex more than a year ago.

He ignored me

I initiated conversation with him again & we agreed on having sex again.

I found out he has liked some pages ... Last year... However, I always appreciate the hard slaps from everyone.

I don't feel that he has disrespected me except that he refused to keep in touch or show any indication of romantic interest ... he is still very much a respectful gentleman. He actually allows me the decision whether I'm sure to sleep with him.

Now let's go to a year ago...

*This came after almost 2 weeks of absolutely no contact, my last message wishing him the best as he goes back to where he needs to further studies. Almost 1 month after I wished him a happy birthday. He hasn't replied to any of these messages anymore.*

I feel bad if I hadn't been able to leave him alone too. I'm resolving to let go, move on & not contact him anymore...same circle during college 10 years ago but drifted apart & lost touch but rekindled about 2 years ago when I initiated contact with him again.

I have added his mobile phone number (that I got from his Facebook profile) into my address book that I could see his WhatsApp profile photo. When we got to talking over Facebook Messenger, we exchanged our mobile numbers formally

I have obsessively visited his Facebook page daily anyway & there are still some information I could view. 1 of it is his friend list.

Nothing new. He had not replied my messages since the last messages on the day after we met.

Even after a few sporadic long confrontational messages from me & my promise to move on from him since there isn't any interest shown from his part.

As if avoiding me on WhatsAp...I also very often caught him going offline as soon as I go online

Since our last meeting which was the first meeting after 10 years, except for some small talk on that same day after our meeting, Cancer man has not replied to any of my messages since then.

You are delusional. You have stalked this dude. And I even doubt you actually slept with him. Because from your past posts, you don't ever talk about it. He ghosted you the day after you met.

For the last year, you have been doing stupid shit over and over, and you can't even see that your actions are completely asinine at this point.

Something is wrong with you.

click to expand

Mind if I add this to the Cancer Man thread?

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by nikkistar

We had sex more than a year ago.

He ignored me

I initiated conversation with him again & we agreed on having sex again.

I found out he has liked some pages ... Last year... However, I always appreciate the hard slaps from everyone.

I don't feel that he has disrespected me except that he refused to keep in touch or show any indication of romantic interest ... he is still very much a respectful gentleman. He actually allows me the decision whether I'm sure to sleep with him.

Now let's go to a year ago...

*This came after almost 2 weeks of absolutely no contact, my last message wishing him the best as he goes back to where he needs to further studies. Almost 1 month after I wished him a happy birthday. He hasn't replied to any of these messages anymore.*

I feel bad if I hadn't been able to leave him alone too. I'm resolving to let go, move on & not contact him anymore...same circle during college 10 years ago but drifted apart & lost touch but rekindled about 2 years ago when I initiated contact with him again.

I have added his mobile phone number (that I got from his Facebook profile) into my address book that I could see his WhatsApp profile photo. When we got to talking over Facebook Messenger, we exchanged our mobile numbers formally

I have obsessively visited his Facebook page daily anyway & there are still some information I could view. 1 of it is his friend list.

Nothing new. He had not replied my messages since the last messages on the day after we met.

Even after a few sporadic long confrontational messages from me & my promise to move on from him since there isn't any interest shown from his part.

As if avoiding me on WhatsAp...I also very often caught him going offline as soon as I go online

Since our last meeting which was the first meeting after 10 years, except for some small talk on that same day after our meeting, Cancer man has not replied to any of my messages since then.

You are delusional. You have stalked this dude. And I even doubt you actually slept with him. Because from your past posts, you don't ever talk about it. He ghosted you the day after you met.

For the last year, you have been doing stupid shit over and over, and you can't even see that your actions are completely asinine at this point.

Something is wrong with you.

Mind if I add this to the Cancer Man thread?

click to expand

Go right ahead.

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

CancerOnTheCusp, it'd be nice if you can contribute your thoughts here too. I'd love to hear from actual Cancer males... why do you guys do this?!?!?! ? Why would you hurt yourself & hurt another too? ?

Profile picture of CancerOnTheCusp
@CancerOnTheCusp
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by taupixie
CancerOnTheCusp, it'd be nice if you can contribute your thoughts here too. I'd love to hear from actual Cancer males... why do you guys do this?!?!?! ? Why would you hurt yourself & hurt another too? ?

I can't help you. Sorry.

You might want to talk to a professional psychiatrist.

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

Posted by over_thinker

May be because he knows if he dose not make clear and bold moves then you will, and those moves will work in his favor. just saying..

Why when I make the moves, he backs away?

Are crabs really just moving sideways a lot... 3 steps forward and 2 steps backwards?

He could just tell me what he wants & I'll give him whatever he wants. I'm already this easy & lenient towards him. Does he now think it's too boring & non challenging? LOL. If that's the case with men ?

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

Posted by nikkistar
The analogy that best describes this thread is a car accident. You see it a million miles away, but you gotta slow down and stare at it as you drive by.

The fact that you can't even see you own delusional thinking is a little terrifying to watch. No matter what anyone says, you will take whatever he says and spin it in that crazy head of yours to mean something else.

For this reason I'm convinced OP is a troll. No one is this delusional!!!!!

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

Hey, you guys are the 1 trolling. I come here with my questions (this is Cancer thread right?) & everybody just must insist that I'm being victimised, that I must leave & forget the predator guy, that I'm delusional... —

I did assure you guys I'm fine & steer it back to my topic... I don't need the pity & definitely no need for name calling... I want points of view & some sort of discussions on my questions... when did I instigate for quarrels/arguments —

I've been accommodating this time... usually I'd rather leave the thread & forget it when it gets to such a point of pointlessness...

But thank you DXPers, for the population that never fail to steer threads to meaningless posts, you've done it again.

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

tiziani, I don't agree with you. I like him a lot. I'm scared to approach him boldly because I've done that before & he backs far off. I was there 2-3 years ago. It took me this long to get where I am now... I'm taking baby steps following his pace. I told him I love him. What else can I do? I just wish I could get closer to him. I wish he would let me

Profile picture of nikkistar
@nikkistar
9 Years10,000+ Posts

Not one person thinks you are a victim. Not at all. You haven't been victimized.

He wasn't a predator. He told you over a year ago that he just wanted to bang. If what you say is true, then he banged you, and ghosted you. And a year later, you are still obsessing over him.

You negate all comments telling you what you do not want to hear. You were a hit it and quit it. Instead of facing that fact, you keep being a glutton for punishment and go back for more.

You are no victim. You are a willing participant in your own delusional fantasy when it comes to this guy.

Profile picture of taupixie
@taupixie
12 Years

over_thinker, yes I guess he is immature & I only feel that he doesn't want to deal with relationship for now (he's focusing on completing his studies). Last year, while in the car, he told me he'll want to get married after he finished his studies... I teased him, I asked him who is he gonna get married to if he doesn't work on a relationship now... anyway, there was a brief part where he said I was a perfect age comparing to him...

I only have these little to hold onto...

?

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