Moody and controllig cancer man. I'm drained.

So I've been dating this cancer guy (Leo moon) for almost 4 months now and I must admit, understanding his personality is hards, frustrating and emotionally draining. (I am aries sun, virgo moon). It is almost like walking in egg-shells around him!

Set aside his moodiness and going from fooling around to total silence in a snap, it is harder for me to understand the controlling side of him. Its is almost like he wants me to become a different person- think his way, dress how he likes it, do things how he finds it right, etc etc. I have even been called names and critiqued badly only to, how he explains, help me to become a better person. If I disagree or try to put things into perspective- Its just not acceptable and I must only agree with him or, better, say nothing to contradict. Sounds sick, but I really really need to understand if this is just cancers typical "psychotic" behaviour. On the other side, when he is "in the mood", he can be the sweetest, silliest and caring person! He keeps initiating dates, does kind little things to show he cares and so, But it is quite draining if I again do/say smth to piss him off for no reason almost every time we meet.

Also, are Cancers generally home bodies? It almost feels like we could just lay in bed in front of TV for the rest of our lives, if it was his choice.

Yes, I know there is a lot to say about self-respect and getting out of this crap, have thought about it, not gonna lie. But, if Cancerians could back this behaviour just a little and help me to find the right way to get to him, I would really appreciate it.

This is not a cancer trait, this is an insecure man who’s controlling the fuck out of you.

I get catering to a mans needs but when it becomes exhausting and you’re affecting yourself to uplift someone else who clearly has issues you need to step out of the relationship. Relationships should be a two way street where both parties compromise sometimes, not just one person. I’m a cancer with a Leo moon and I’d never treat my partner like this.

Not a cancer man trait to be controlling...moody, yes but controlling... definitely not.

Cancers can definitely be home bodies...doesn't matter if he has a Leo moon. I have one and I'm a homebody (virgo sun). What's his Venus and Mars?

I say get out why you can...huge red flags.

If this is "typical" cancer behavior, would that make this horrific situation easier to bear? I certainly hope not. For your sake, I hope you don't LOSE YOURSELF by trying to hard to understand this f***tards way of thinking and behaving. Get your head OUT OF the clouds and where it belongs. In reality. It's apparent that you see this dude's potential, but potential is NEVER enough. Never. You've been warned.

Posted by Leeta

You want ppl to back up his psychotic behavior? So if ppl told you these are Cancerians traits you'd accept his behavior and stay? That is crazy.

Btw, I don't think these are Cancer traits.

He's controlling, calling you names and is disrespectful because he's an ass hole with mental problems.

I don't understand how girls put up with this kind of crap! I would have left a long time ago at the first sign of disrespect.

Let her know Leeta! Cosigning behavior like this is emotional and mental suicide. Just reading this ish makes my blood boil 😠

My Cancer man is like that too. I just tell him this is how I was when he met me and if he doesn't like it, there's the door if he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I never ever threaten to leave though. He'd never forgive that.

Also, if something upsets you, tell him that it's mean when you say "whatever" and it hurts my feelings. My one usually tries hard to avoid saying or doing it again.

There will always be some stupid thing that comes up and causes conflict, it usually passes within the same day or the next and then they're all sweet again. As for the moods, I don't think anything can help them with that. Just know it's not personal, they need a sounding board to filter how they feel on the inside. They are sensitive as fuck and need validation, reassurance and sympathy. I suck at those things and prefer to tell him to have a cup of concrete and harden up. Majority of the time they're super sweet, affectionate, caring and loving. He'll have your back, never let anyone disrespect you, always be on your side, and all sorts of good stuff, but their shit bits are just part of the package.

Aries controlled by a Cancer, I'm going to make a note and write an essay 😄

What's your and his mars? I would say moon and mars plays a major role when it comes to control

Ariesera,

It's easy for this man to define who you are, because you don't know who you are.

If you're not what he's looking for.....



Bow out gracefully.

Sorry, took a while. Past week has been a rollercoaster of me loosing dignity and trying to find last bits of common sense of his acts. Long story short- we broke up. Or.. he broke up with me.

I invited him to an event I waited for for MONTHS!! Took him to dinner before, and there he goes, and I quote "do we have to be here? Im bored, I dont feel like you are smart enough to talk to. All you talk about is b***t." At this point Im completely shocked of how DARE he act like that when I plan the whole day and the next for both of us! I asked him wheher he even wants to go (being completely ready to walk out the rstaurant myself) and all he says"well I have to..." Then I asked him if he is even into me anymore? He asks where the bathroom is and walks out the restaurant. Im like... what. Did. Just. Happen.

I drove back to his home, waited for him for explanation and all he says-" lets quit it. Its not you, its me (reeaaaallyyyy.?.). Lets stay in touch later, we are too emotional to talk right now."

I came home to discover im blocked on w/up.

A couple of days ago I asked himwhy is he so distant, to which he said its all fine, it comes in waves and it will pass.

So.. yeah. My mind is completely aware of this mess and I honestly cannot believe I wasnt the one to end this. Like sadly laughung about myself of this turn of events.

One thing i NEED to understand- WILL he contact me soon or not? I need my answers. Cause I know ill be the one calli g in a week to check up on him.. pls help..?

Posted by Arieseira

Sorry, took a while. Past week has been a rollercoaster of me loosing dignity and trying to find last bits of common sense of his acts. Long story short- we broke up. Or.. he broke up with me.

I invited him to an event I waited for for MONTHS!! Took him to dinner before, and there he goes, and I quote "do we have to be here? Im bored, I dont feel like you are smart enough to talk to. All you talk about is b***t." At this point Im completely shocked of how DARE he act like that when I plan the whole day and the next for both of us! I asked him wheher he even wants to go (being completely ready to walk out the rstaurant myself) and all he says"well I have to..." Then I asked him if he is even into me anymore? He asks where the bathroom is and walks out the restaurant. Im like... what. Did. Just. Happen.

I drove back to his home, waited for him for explanation and all he says-" lets quit it. Its not you, its me (reeaaaallyyyy.?.). Lets stay in touch later, we are too emotional to talk right now."

I came home to discover im blocked on w/up.

A couple of days ago I asked himwhy is he so distant, to which he said its all fine, it comes in waves and it will pass.

So.. yeah. My mind is completely aware of this mess and I honestly cannot believe I wasnt the one to end this. Like sadly laughung about myself of this turn of events.

One thing i NEED to understand- WILL he contact me soon or not? I need my answers. Cause I know ill be the one calli g in a week to check up on him.. pls help..?

Just a note- there have been a couple of times he walked out like that but when we were in a fight. He always came back but only after me saving things back up. Noot this time, but just makes me feel its just "another" breakup

So you would agree this is typical to them? I mean I can understand slight moodiness but this us just plain sickness, psychotic and bibolar behaviour!! Holy mother of... HOW is it possible? Am I to blame of enabling this.

Posted by Arieseira

Posted by Arieseira

Sorry, took a while. Past week has been a rollercoaster of me loosing dignity and trying to find last bits of common sense of his acts. Long story short- we broke up. Or.. he broke up with me.

I invited him to an event I waited for for MONTHS!! Took him to dinner before, and there he goes, and I quote "do we have to be here? Im bored, I dont feel like you are smart enough to talk to. All you talk about is b***t." At this point Im completely shocked of how DARE he act like that when I plan the whole day and the next for both of us! I asked him wheher he even wants to go (being completely ready to walk out the rstaurant myself) and all he says"well I have to..." Then I asked him if he is even into me anymore? He asks where the bathroom is and walks out the restaurant. Im like... what. Did. Just. Happen.

I drove back to his home, waited for him for explanation and all he says-" lets quit it. Its not you, its me (reeaaaallyyyy.?.). Lets stay in touch later, we are too emotional to talk right now."

I came home to discover im blocked on w/up.

A couple of days ago I asked himwhy is he so distant, to which he said its all fine, it comes in waves and it will pass.

So.. yeah. My mind is completely aware of this mess and I honestly cannot believe I wasnt the one to end this. Like sadly laughung about myself of this turn of events.

One thing i NEED to understand- WILL he contact me soon or not? I need my answers. Cause I know ill be the one calli g in a week to check up on him.. pls help..?

Just a note- there have been a couple of times he walked out like that but when we were in a fight. He always came back but only after me saving things back up. Noot this time, but just makes me feel its just "another" breakup

click to expand

You don't have any healthy standards. What a shame. You've allowed this man to treat you like garbage but now, you want answers SMH The only one who can truly help you, is you.

Posted by Leeta

So he's still controlling, being disrespectful and calling you names and you still paid for an event and dinner?! He even broke up with you and you are asking if he will contact you soon? WTF

How are you not turned off?

Stop chasing him and find some self -respect.

Thank you. I need to hear this as harsh as it is. I wish I could not only understand this rationally but feel the same way. Just need to process

Aries take a longggggg time to recover from a break up. Especially if emotions,understanding and sex was involved. Did you flirt or had any other guys around? Aries and cancer do work. He will ignore you if you hurt him to the point you dont exist. However when you start dating again and he sees a man wrapped around your arm, he will contact you. Did you chase him or he chased you? To say he was bored is an indicator u was not spontaneous and being routine. To spark or maintain a spark in any relationship u have to be willing to be adventurous. Sorry to say but nice guys do finish last and there are woman who love the drama not withstanding emotional manipulation. If he was doing the nice things he would not get noticed. Lastly he probably have a side chick that was there during all this. I know u curious and wanna post things in w/app just to show he missing out but it is gonna cause more harm than good. So try to avoid as much communication but once emotions stir kinda say bye. Have fun do u. But i doubt advice will be taken cause aries have their own way.

Posted by Arieseira

Posted by Leeta

So he's still controlling, being disrespectful and calling you names and you still paid for an event and dinner?! He even broke up with you and you are asking if he will contact you soon? WTF

How are you not turned off?

Stop chasing him and find some self -respect.

Thank you. I need to hear this as harsh as it is. I wish I could not only understand this rationally but feel the same way. Just need to process

click to expand

is this sort of guy your type? have previous relationships been as controlling?

be aware if you have a pattern, what you've described are the early signs of an abusive relationship. you might find yourself involved with abusive men again. just be careful.

I truly fully understand how fucked up this all was. I mean, it felt like Im getting back my anxiety I managed to cure a while ago- the constant balance on eggshells and "failing" to please him when I expect rhat the least.

One thing I dont get- why the F did he himself stick around for so long if Ive asked multiple times if he is still willing to keep what we have.

Now its more about gaining my damaged self esteem back, not going there again, I promise.

All i want to understand now if he would reach out and if that would be soon? I swear, out of curiosity and for "scientific purposes only". Not trying to justify his f**up behaviour as from a grown man.

Disregarding his astro placements, if he's criticising you, not bringing out the best in you or making you doubt yourself, he's not right for you

Give him the 🖕

Posted by Arieseira

Sorry, took a while. Past week has been a rollercoaster of me loosing dignity and trying to find last bits of common sense of his acts. Long story short- we broke up. Or.. he broke up with me.

I invited him to an event I waited for for MONTHS!! Took him to dinner before, and there he goes, and I quote "do we have to be here? Im bored, I dont feel like you are smart enough to talk to. All you talk about is b***t." At this point Im completely shocked of how DARE he act like that when I plan the whole day and the next for both of us! I asked him wheher he even wants to go (being completely ready to walk out the rstaurant myself) and all he says"well I have to..." Then I asked him if he is even into me anymore? He asks where the bathroom is and walks out the restaurant. Im like... what. Did. Just. Happen.

I drove back to his home, waited for him for explanation and all he says-" lets quit it. Its not you, its me (reeaaaallyyyy.?.). Lets stay in touch later, we are too emotional to talk right now."

I came home to discover im blocked on w/up.

A couple of days ago I asked himwhy is he so distant, to which he said its all fine, it comes in waves and it will pass.

So.. yeah. My mind is completely aware of this mess and I honestly cannot believe I wasnt the one to end this. Like sadly laughung about myself of this turn of events.

One thing i NEED to understand- WILL he contact me soon or not? I need my answers. Cause I know ill be the one calli g in a week to check up on him.. pls help..?

Oh dear, Arielle83 is so very right. This is emotional abuse and I am afraid it might be more serious than you even realise. You were preyed upon, you have been love-bombed and then devalued/discarded. Now the problem is not what happened to you emotionally as with every normal relationship, but what happened to your brain and self-esteem.

The abusive cycle is an addictive one for you both. In first stages, when everything is going great, your brain will get flooded with the feeling good neurotransmitters as dopamine, oxytocin, etc. However, the abusers need your emotional distress to make themselves feel powerful so when they start treating you like shit FOR NO REAL REASON, your brain will get flooded with bad neurotransmitters as cortisol and adrenaline. You do not understand what happened, but you do try to get things back to where they were in the beginning. In reality, in those moments, what happens is that our brains will seek the good hormones again and so we will try harder and harder to get back to that state much to the satisfaction of the abuser. It is pure addiction. There will come again a time when they'll give some attention or so, but just to keep you in their game, to see if they still hold power on you. It is called intermittent reinforcing.

You need to stop this story with this guy at this very moment! It is very serious. Block him ASAP. If he comes back, the abuse, these bad feelings you have, will only escalate. You need to understand what is happening to you, you need to rebuild your self esteem and grow strong boundaries to keep these creatures away. It's a lot of work to do and you need to start now. Please look for more info about emotional abuse narcissistic personality disorder.

Posted by Libra_gal

Posted by Arieseira

Sorry, took a while. Past week has been a rollercoaster of me loosing dignity and trying to find last bits of common sense of his acts. Long story short- we broke up. Or.. he broke up with me.

I invited him to an event I waited for for MONTHS!! Took him to dinner before, and there he goes, and I quote "do we have to be here? Im bored, I dont feel like you are smart enough to talk to. All you talk about is b***t." At this point Im completely shocked of how DARE he act like that when I plan the whole day and the next for both of us! I asked him wheher he even wants to go (being completely ready to walk out the rstaurant myself) and all he says"well I have to..." Then I asked him if he is even into me anymore? He asks where the bathroom is and walks out the restaurant. Im like... what. Did. Just. Happen.

I drove back to his home, waited for him for explanation and all he says-" lets quit it. Its not you, its me (reeaaaallyyyy.?.). Lets stay in touch later, we are too emotional to talk right now."

I came home to discover im blocked on w/up.

A couple of days ago I asked himwhy is he so distant, to which he said its all fine, it comes in waves and it will pass.

So.. yeah. My mind is completely aware of this mess and I honestly cannot believe I wasnt the one to end this. Like sadly laughung about myself of this turn of events.

One thing i NEED to understand- WILL he contact me soon or not? I need my answers. Cause I know ill be the one calli g in a week to check up on him.. pls help..?

Oh dear, Arielle83 is so very right. This is emotional abuse and I am afraid it might be more serious than you even realise. You were preyed upon, you have been love-bombed and then devalued/discarded. Now the problem is not what happened to you emotionally as with every normal relationship, but what happened to your brain and self-esteem.

The abusive cycle is an addictive one for you both. In first stages, when everything is going great, your brain will get flooded with the feeling good neurotransmitters as dopamine, oxytocin, etc. However, the abusers need your emotional distress to make themselves feel powerful so when they start treating you like shit FOR NO REAL REASON, your brain will get flooded with bad neurotransmitters as cortisol and adrenaline. You do not understand what happened, but you do try to get things back to where they were in the beginning. In reality, in those moments, what happens is that our brains will seek the good hormones again and so we will try harder and harder to get back to that state much to the satisfaction of the abuser. It is pure addiction. There will come again a time when they'll give some attention or so, but just to keep you in their game, to see if they still hold power on you. It is called intermittent reinforcing.

You need to stop this story with this guy at this very moment! It is very serious. Block him ASAP. If he comes back, the abuse, these bad feelings you have, will only escalate. You need to understand what is happening to you, you need to rebuild your self esteem and grow strong boundaries to keep these creatures away. It's a lot of work to do and you need to start now. Please look for more info about emotional abuse narcissistic personality disorder.

click to expand

You described it perfectly and see clearly what Ive been afraid to admit to myself, although knowing already its abusive. Ive hidden things from him so he doesnt criticize me (like buying things and literally stuffing in a bag so he does not know), not telling of whom I met, what I ate and.. fuck, skipping gym a few times cause that would make me non-dedicated in life in general. Wow, ashamed to even tell it here.

And yes, everytime he made future plans, hugged me, said smth good I did notice getting the posotive adrenaline rush solely because I made HIM feel good about us.

I cannot thank you all enough to spotting all this so perfectly. Even few of my friends to whom I told this, ALL have described him as a psycho. One guy even said hes a peace of s*** for leaving a womam paying for events.

And as it is typical to emotionally abused- I feel like I see through his bs- hes a kind, voulnurable person who himself needs reassurance, attention and papmering. When he is like that, its what I actually fell for and missed in the latest times..

Posted by Arieseira

Posted by Libra_gal

Posted by Arieseira

Sorry, took a while. Past week has been a rollercoaster of me loosing dignity and trying to find last bits of common sense of his acts. Long story short- we broke up. Or.. he broke up with me.

I invited him to an event I waited for for MONTHS!! Took him to dinner before, and there he goes, and I quote "do we have to be here? Im bored, I dont feel like you are smart enough to talk to. All you talk about is b***t." At this point Im completely shocked of how DARE he act like that when I plan the whole day and the next for both of us! I asked him wheher he even wants to go (being completely ready to walk out the rstaurant myself) and all he says"well I have to..." Then I asked him if he is even into me anymore? He asks where the bathroom is and walks out the restaurant. Im like... what. Did. Just. Happen.

I drove back to his home, waited for him for explanation and all he says-" lets quit it. Its not you, its me (reeaaaallyyyy.?.). Lets stay in touch later, we are too emotional to talk right now."

I came home to discover im blocked on w/up.

A couple of days ago I asked himwhy is he so distant, to which he said its all fine, it comes in waves and it will pass.

So.. yeah. My mind is completely aware of this mess and I honestly cannot believe I wasnt the one to end this. Like sadly laughung about myself of this turn of events.

One thing i NEED to understand- WILL he contact me soon or not? I need my answers. Cause I know ill be the one calli g in a week to check up on him.. pls help..?

Oh dear, Arielle83 is so very right. This is emotional abuse and I am afraid it might be more serious than you even realise. You were preyed upon, you have been love-bombed and then devalued/discarded. Now the problem is not what happened to you emotionally as with every normal relationship, but what happened to your brain and self-esteem.

The abusive cycle is an addictive one for you both. In first stages, when everything is going great, your brain will get flooded with the feeling good neurotransmitters as dopamine, oxytocin, etc. However, the abusers need your emotional distress to make themselves feel powerful so when they start treating you like shit FOR NO REAL REASON, your brain will get flooded with bad neurotransmitters as cortisol and adrenaline. You do not understand what happened, but you do try to get things back to where they were in the beginning. In reality, in those moments, what happens is that our brains will seek the good hormones again and so we will try harder and harder to get back to that state much to the satisfaction of the abuser. It is pure addiction. There will come again a time when they'll give some attention or so, but just to keep you in their game, to see if they still hold power on you. It is called intermittent reinforcing.

You need to stop this story with this guy at this very moment! It is very serious. Block him ASAP. If he comes back, the abuse, these bad feelings you have, will only escalate. You need to understand what is happening to you, you need to rebuild your self esteem and grow strong boundaries to keep these creatures away. It's a lot of work to do and you need to start now. Please look for more info about emotional abuse narcissistic personality disorder.

You described it perfectly and see clearly what Ive been afraid to admit to myself, although knowing already its abusive. Ive hidden things from him so he doesnt criticize me (like buying things and literally stuffing in a bag so he does not know), not telling of whom I met, what I ate and.. fuck, skipping gym a few times cause that would make me non-dedicated in life in general. Wow, ashamed to even tell it here.

And yes, everytime he made future plans, hugged me, said smth good I did notice getting the posotive adrenaline rush solely because I made HIM feel good about us.

I cannot thank you all enough to spotting all this so perfectly. Even few of my friends to whom I told this, ALL have described him as a psycho. One guy even said hes a peace of s*** for leaving a womam paying for events.

And as it is typical to emotionally abused- I feel like I see through his bs- hes a kind, voulnurable person who himself needs reassurance, attention and papmering. When he is like that, its what I actually fell for and missed in the latest times..

click to expand

Girlll do not feel ashamed for anything, what you went through it's very tough and these reactions are all part of the abuse. Unfortunately by the time our friends or family realise they're no good, we've already been heavily trauma bonded with the abuser. It's really brainwashing us.

What they say about that vulnerable person you sometimes miss, is that it's not real. Nothing was. It was all a persona created to seduce and lure you in, to make you miss it when it's gone without realising that what you miss is poison. Truly is, for your mind, soul and body. They do have a broken core, but it cannot be healed by other humans, no matter the amount of love. I am sorry if it sounds tough, but it's the truth.

You really need to look for info about NPD disorder, the understanding of what happened will stop the cravings. You feel drained, you need to take care of yourself. Take the focus off of him and put it on you. You're a strong aries, you've got this! Wishing you all the best!

Stop trying to understand trash. Get rid of it.

Dang it. Accidentaly run into each other at the mall and had a short catchup. Its been little over a week since the brakup. After we had a smalltalk I asked him if we would have a mature closure. He said we can and should go for a walk some time soon. To which I told him it would be nice, but since he blocked me on w/upp wasnt very mature from him. He explained that my last message was childish and he did not want to have any more negativity around.

Overall, I was over him during this time but seeing him kinda happy (also me myself being cheerful) did dig into heart. Must admit, I really felt quite confident and not heartbroken, which I was afraid the most of.. but yeah... I do want to have a conversation with him again.

The point of this update? Dunno.. maybe you can comment whether this is how ending things looks to cancer dudes and I really really must understand that it is it..? Is it typical for him to have a casual walk with someone ending things?

Posted by Arieseira

Dang it. Accidentaly run into each other at the mall and had a short catchup. Its been little over a week since the brakup. After we had a smalltalk I asked him if we would have a mature closure. He said we can and should go for a walk some time soon. To which I told him it would be nice, but since he blocked me on w/upp wasnt very mature from him. He explained that my last message was childish and he did not want to have any more negativity around.

Overall, I was over him during this time but seeing him kinda happy (also me myself being cheerful) did dig into heart. Must admit, I really felt quite confident and not heartbroken, which I was afraid the most of.. but yeah... I do want to have a conversation with him again.

The point of this update? Dunno.. maybe you can comment whether this is how ending things looks to cancer dudes and I really really must understand that it is it..? Is it typical for him to have a casual walk with someone ending things?

What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you still talk? Are you a glutton for punishment—

Posted by Mr_Pinchy

Posted by Arieseira

Dang it. Accidentaly run into each other at the mall and had a short catchup. Its been little over a week since the brakup. After we had a smalltalk I asked him if we would have a mature closure. He said we can and should go for a walk some time soon. To which I told him it would be nice, but since he blocked me on w/upp wasnt very mature from him. He explained that my last message was childish and he did not want to have any more negativity around.

Overall, I was over him during this time but seeing him kinda happy (also me myself being cheerful) did dig into heart. Must admit, I really felt quite confident and not heartbroken, which I was afraid the most of.. but yeah... I do want to have a conversation with him again.

The point of this update? Dunno.. maybe you can comment whether this is how ending things looks to cancer dudes and I really really must understand that it is it..? Is it typical for him to have a casual walk with someone ending things?

What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you still talk? Are you a glutton for punishment—

click to expand

Right! Letting this mess go, is OVERDUE.

Not going to argue with those who tell me to check myself.

Its just me being me, able to swallow all pride and whatever hurtful things Ive been through cause of someone, I forgive fast. And I strongly believe that no matter what, people need to end whatever argument on a decent level to be able to coexist and respect each other with no grudges held.

Its just my ram’s thick head, that beats against the wall to get the upper said happpening. Oh well..

Hi my wonderful cancers, I need serious advice please 🙏

Me : rising cancer, sun cancer, moon capricorn, venus gemini, Mars cancer, mercury Leo

Bae : sun Virgo, moon scorpio, venus Leo, Mars sagittarius, mercury virgo

Problem : we had a serious chat about the distance of our relationship. He said it's frustrating, I said it's not easy for me as well and I know that is why he's not communicating with me like before or even at all. The gemini in me is crying cause of lack of communication and the capricorn in me has suggested visiting every weekend since it's only an hour apart, as a solution but no single excited response, like hell I'm going where I'm not wanted 😤. It's like he's indirectly angry with me for taking such a decision to transfer to another campus.

Solution 😄o I give him space to think or keep trying to visit even though I'm clearly not invited or excitedly wanted ?

Please help 🙏😭🙏 I miss our witty and playful relationship, where did it go

wrong forum ella go to virgo or cancer forum. Dont hijack another persons post. Anyways Arieseira, yes Aries women tend to forgive too easily hence they keep attracting the same type of persons due to that energy you put out. As for the cancer guy as I stated before I knew the ram hard headedness would not listen to our advice,lol. Its okay im kinda stubborn and have to learn it my own way at times despite advice. But have u spoke to hin at all or he giving you the silent treatment?

Posted by ReddmannScorch

wrong forum ella go to virgo or cancer forum. Dont hijack another persons post. Anyways Arieseira, yes Aries women tend to forgive too easily hence they keep attracting the same type of persons due to that energy you put out. As for the cancer guy as I stated before I knew the ram hard headedness would not listen to our advice,lol. Its okay im kinda stubborn and have to learn it my own way at times despite advice. But have u spoke to hin at all or he giving you the silent treatment?

Oh now saw the post regarding the walk. Normally we disappear and do block cause we wants nothing to do with you but since he wanna talk, he wanna rehash or reminisce. Guess youll be back with him soon. I would suggest you tell him you seeing someone and best you part ways. communicating with him gonna bring back past hurts. Wow did not know a cancer could cut a wound this deep.

I agree with the posts here. Get yourself together as you are and just leave him alone. He has a nasty streak and you have done nothing but try to please. When someone tells you that you need to change for the better, tell them that you are happy with the way things are and that perhaps they should just go fuck themselves. Screw trying to end things on a mutually mature note. You have to understand what you are dealing with. Forget the walk. That is a comment made for the sake of control.

So, basically he did reach out to me, asking me out. Normally, Id reschedule other plans, but I said Im busy and offered a different day, to which he just replied 'ok''and disappeared.

Couple of days later, he texts" 'wanna visit me?'''I asked ''For what reason?' He texted "OK'', to which I replied ''are u ok?'''and he disappears again. Honestly, I am worried for his mental health and stability at this point, almost willing to check if he needs help.

Now I am so aware of what misery he put me in while we were together and I am fully over it. Like I feel I need to avoid him at any cost, so he does not sweet talk me in and fuck up my head for another week after we meet.

Yet I know he will continue appearing until I clearly state that he needs to stop.

Thank you guys for opening up my eyes. Like truly THANK YOU!

Posted by Lastwill

Posted by Libra_gal

Posted by Arieseira

Sorry, took a while. Past week has been a rollercoaster of me loosing dignity and trying to find last bits of common sense of his acts. Long story short- we broke up. Or.. he broke up with me.

I invited him to an event I waited for for MONTHS!! Took him to dinner before, and there he goes, and I quote "do we have to be here? Im bored, I dont feel like you are smart enough to talk to. All you talk about is b***t." At this point Im completely shocked of how DARE he act like that when I plan the whole day and the next for both of us! I asked him wheher he even wants to go (being completely ready to walk out the rstaurant myself) and all he says"well I have to..." Then I asked him if he is even into me anymore? He asks where the bathroom is and walks out the restaurant. Im like... what. Did. Just. Happen.

I drove back to his home, waited for him for explanation and all he says-" lets quit it. Its not you, its me (reeaaaallyyyy.?.). Lets stay in touch later, we are too emotional to talk right now."

I came home to discover im blocked on w/up.

A couple of days ago I asked himwhy is he so distant, to which he said its all fine, it comes in waves and it will pass.

So.. yeah. My mind is completely aware of this mess and I honestly cannot believe I wasnt the one to end this. Like sadly laughung about myself of this turn of events.

One thing i NEED to understand- WILL he contact me soon or not? I need my answers. Cause I know ill be the one calli g in a week to check up on him.. pls help..?

Oh dear, Arielle83 is so very right. This is emotional abuse and I am afraid it might be more serious than you even realise. You were preyed upon, you have been love-bombed and then devalued/discarded. Now the problem is not what happened to you emotionally as with every normal relationship, but what happened to your brain and self-esteem.

The abusive cycle is an addictive one for you both. In first stages, when everything is going great, your brain will get flooded with the feeling good neurotransmitters as dopamine, oxytocin, etc. However, the abusers need your emotional distress to make themselves feel powerful so when they start treating you like shit FOR NO REAL REASON, your brain will get flooded with bad neurotransmitters as cortisol and adrenaline. You do not understand what happened, but you do try to get things back to where they were in the beginning. In reality, in those moments, what happens is that our brains will seek the good hormones again and so we will try harder and harder to get back to that state much to the satisfaction of the abuser. It is pure addiction. There will come again a time when they'll give some attention or so, but just to keep you in their game, to see if they still hold power on you. It is called intermittent reinforcing.

You need to stop this story with this guy at this very moment! It is very serious. Block him ASAP. If he comes back, the abuse, these bad feelings you have, will only escalate. You need to understand what is happening to you, you need to rebuild your self esteem and grow strong boundaries to keep these creatures away. It's a lot of work to do and you need to start now. Please look for more info about emotional abuse narcissistic personality disorder.

Stop throwing random terminology around, it's not healthy. seriously

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Uhum, will sure do that because one stranger on Internet told me to forget everything I studied.

Hope you're not being triggered 🤭

Oh lord, this reminds me of this Cancer male I just met. He was making fat comments saying he doesn't like wedges, but wants slices lol. He used to be fat, but decided to get skinny for some unknown reason. It's like he was fighting himself in his mind because he wanted it, but literally said he pushes away things that make him happy.

Yes, I got drunk af that day because it was too much of a roller-coaster. My brother and father are both cancers, but they don't act like that at all. Is there like 2 sides of cancer men or something?