My Cancer woman broke up with me :-(

Hi,

I really need some advice about how to handle this break up with my Cancer woman. We have been together for about 3 months and everything was great then all of a sudden she text me saying it was over. Maybe it wasn't all great for her because I had to work a lot and she always found something else to do to waste time but I did tell her that we would have more time to spend together next weekend since I wont have to work as often. I was really devastated by her text because we were just laughing and joking a few hours earlier. She wouldn't answer my calls when I tried to find out why she broke up with me and then a few hours later she sent me a text saying we had nothing in common and she didn't want to be my friend either and to not to call her anymore. I told her how much I cared about her and she just texted me to just walk away. How can she be so lovingly one minute then do a whole 360 the next minute? I do want to be with her but I just don't know what to do because she told me not to contact her anymore. In the beginning she thought we had a lot of things in common and now she feels that we don't which is kind of strange. How do I go about trying to win her back?


Capricorn

Maybe she found someone else that was more her speed. You win some, you lose some. Let it go.

Oh my 😢 I used to do things just like that. So here are what I think are the possible causes and actions to take. Just my 2 cents.

A) Cancers can get in a mood and harp over one tiny bad thing and it can become the world. When the mood passes she will wonder why she was ever so upset. - If she does come back around, don't make it easy for her and show her this flaw because she might not even notice it. explain that it can rear its head again or you will not take her back. She really does not mean it. an emotional day hang over. trust me. i have done this. smh

B) She is just feeling lonely and negelected and harped on those feeling and needs emotional support. She wants to see if you will give it to her. She wants you to recognize that she is hurting and feeling negleted and then fight for her. Promise to make changes and have a big emotional 'I am sorry Dear.' - Still you have to tell her to grow up and stop the bs and that is not the way to handle things. She is probably sitting crying over the break up and wishing you will call and say 'why? what can i do to make it better?' trust me. i have done this. smh

C) I doubt this one because Cancers love Caps and they make us feel pretty happy in a relationship, but she might have met someone else. If we have been secretly longing for someone else and the opportunity opens itself up and we secretly have been planning to dump you for a list of secret reasons...we will leave with out a moments notice. i have caught men cheating or caught them in lies or just stopped liking them BUT stayed until the one i wanted grew closer to me and then dumped the guy i was with and was with the new guy on a date the same date. I have done this MANY times. In fact that is the only way i like to end a relatiopship. but like i said...if you are a nice guy, i doubt this one

How long should I wait to contact her? I want to give her space but I don't want her to think that I'm not thinking about her or out with someone else.

I actually contacted her yesterday and apologized for not seeing her as much as she wanted. Now it's like nothing happened and she's back to being happy again but now I don't know how to act because I'm kind of confused. It's like she was two different people.

Posted by cancerlovestaurus

B) She is just feeling lonely and negelected and harped on those feeling and needs emotional support. She wants to see if you will give it to her. She wants you to recognize that she is hurting and feeling negleted and then fight for her. Promise to make changes and have a big emotional 'I am sorry Dear.' - Still you have to tell her to grow up and stop the bs and that is not the way to handle things. She is probably sitting crying over the break up and wishing you will call and say 'why? what can i do to make it better?' trust me. i have done this. smh

looks like it was option B!! too funny..

ya, she's two different people because Cancers are contradictions

don't let her pull this with you or she will do it again... meaning = she will create drama and push you away when she is feeling needy and neglected.

gently, yet firmly try to convey what cancerlovestaurus said in demonstrating or making suggestions on how you'd like her to handle things when she's feeling this way.

trust me.. we like being put in our place 😉

yep. shellshocker is telling you right. she has to grow up or she will run you away even if you really don't want to go. be firm. be sincere. but def be firm.

oh. and every now and then give her reassurances. when you working a a lot do small stuff like send flowers, or cute e-cards or a small gift like gummie bears or something that is her fav to show she can still feel connected. this will leave her longing for you and it will keep her emotionally high/going. just small litte stuff. nothing too major is really needed. do this and you will not get too much trouble out of her. also if you have a busy week, let her know and then plan something as a prize when your busy time is over. it;s sad i know. but almost like a parent tells a child "be good and we will go to Fun World. No matter what goes on the child will be all geeked and good preparing and looking forward to Fun World. tell her you want her to cook you something. she will spend all week preparing for the big day and making sure everything is perfect. do the small things during the week to reasure her.

cancer women can be like ___? but they will treat you like and ROYAL KING maybe even a God if you know what you're doing

Soon as everything was back to normal she called it off and stated that it just didn't feel the same. I didn't try to argue and just said okay. Then the following week she let me know she was in my area for the weekend for a concert (she lives in another state). So she told me the hotel she was staying at and her plans for the weekend. She texted me the whole weekend and actually didn't even go to the concert. She wanted me to go with her before she called it off. That night she went to a club but was texting me the whole time and stated she was with some friends. I was thinking to myself "who goes to a club and text the whole time?". I told her that I would talk to her later because I just couldn't understand why she would be texting me while out with friends at a club. The next day I texted her to see if she wanted to meet up and see each other before she left and she stated that she didn't think it was a good idea because I said some messed up things to her when she called it off the first time. I didn't say anything mean or wrong when she called it off but I didn't want to ask what she was talking about so I just apologized for whatever I said that hurt her feelings. She said it was in the past and that she suffers in silence so she wont regret anything that she say to people. I'm thinking if it's in the past then why bring it up? Also if she didn't want to see me then why text me the whole time she's in my area? I thought it was good that she was at least answering my text since when she broke it off the first time she stated she didn't even want to be friends. Now I'm just thinking I should move on but I can't help but to think what if we could have a good relationship if we can just get over this hump that she's creating.

You know i think when cancers starts creating drama we are slowly falling for you, we just don't know it yet, if that makes sense i duno.. the testing starts, and then its like we need to lose you to realize how much we do care for you, and how much you care for us, and when we come back we have missed you and feel we love you, but then we need the other person to show how much you love us when we come back and if we feel like you don't show us when we are showing you, then the drama starts all over again... hmmm thats what i feel anywho

Posted by hotmumma
You know i think when cancers starts creating drama we are slowly falling for you, we just don't know it yet, if that makes sense i duno.. the testing starts, and then its like we need to lose you to realize how much we do care for you, and how much you care for us, and when we come back we have missed you and feel we love you, but then we need the other person to show how much you love us when we come back and if we feel like you don't show us when we are showing you, then the drama starts all over again... hmmm thats what i feel anywho

+1

I told her that I would smack the world if it was rude to her and she told me that I was all talk like she was questioning my loyalty. She really made me mad with that statement because I'm nothing but loyal to her and second I'm never just all talk. I'm a Capricorn so her statement just didn't make sense. I never questioned her loyalty and if I felt that way then I would've never started a relationship with her in the first place.

Noonie, it's in your best interst to ignore when she says things like this. She needs you to prove that you are as loyal as you say you are. And don't forget that loyalty and faithfullness are two different things. We expect both. Try not to make a big deal out of every tiny detail. It's only been 3 months, you have some ways to go. And you are opposites so you are bound to annoy each other from time to time, or feel disconnected.

I think I will back away from this girl. I can only imagine what being with her for years will be like and it doesn't look fun. I've been in a relationship with a Cancer before for 5 years and she didn't start acting crazy until the end.

Noonie, so sorry to read of your situation as of late. Just a bit of information for all .... Gary Chapman wrote a terrific book entitled "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate." They ARE #1. Words of Affirmation #2. Quality Time #3. Receiving Gifts #4. Acts of Service #5. Physical Touch. Quite certainly I am no counselor or therapist, but do understand that "little things do mean alot" and perhaps she may be requiring some #2 Quality Time (talking, communication in sharing, emotional connectivity, etc). Just my thoughts. As always .... best wishes & good luck.

I texted her yesterday and she seemed happy to hear from me. I know that by how immediate her response were to my text. She also sent me a smiley face then sent me a picture of herself. Which was really good because she denied me a picture last week and stated that I lost that privelege

How old are you, and how old is she?

What is your birth date, and what is hers?

We are both 28 years old . Her birthday is 07/14/1983 and my birthday is 12/23/1983.

Posted by noonie1801
Hi,

I really need some advice about how to handle this break up with my Cancer woman. We have been together for about 3 months and everything was great then all of a sudden she text me saying it was over. Maybe it wasn't all great for her because I had to work a lot and she always found something else to do to waste time but I did tell her that we would have more time to spend together next weekend since I wont have to work as often. I was really devastated by her text because we were just laughing and joking a few hours earlier. She wouldn't answer my calls when I tried to find out why she broke up with me and then a few hours later she sent me a text saying we had nothing in common and she didn't want to be my friend either and to not to call her anymore. I told her how much I cared about her and she just texted me to just walk away. How can she be so lovingly one minute then do a whole 360 the next minute? I do want to be with her but I just don't know what to do because she told me not to contact her anymore. In the beginning she thought we had a lot of things in common and now she feels that we don't which is kind of strange. How do I go about trying to win her back?


Capricorn

first, i feel really bad for you she could have at least told you why she didn't want you contacting her anymore i'm a cancer and i will let you know how i feel about you and if i thought it would work out or not i wouldn't lead you on.
sorry i really can't give you any advice there has to be a good reeason as to why she stopped talking to you.

Just an update...Last week I texted her since everything was going well between us just to say hi. I called her 'baby' in the text and she replied 'baby?'. So after that I didn't respond and didn't contact her for a little over a week until recently. I only contacted her because we are still friends on a social site and she posted for everyone to see that she was listening to a song I love and stated she was thinking. I immediately knew she was talking about me. So I replied to her post saying that I still love the song and listen to it daily. Then she replied to my post that she remembered how much I love the song and she now has it as her main song on her page, saved it as her new phone ringtone, and playing the song repeatedly. I then started texting her and we texted for hours until it was time for me to go to work the next day. We stayed up throughout the night and didn't go to sleep. In her text she called me 'boo' and I didn't call her anything because of her previous reply to 'baby' a week ago. Now she is constantly checking my page for some reason and also commented on my new pictures I posted. I haven't contacted her in 2 days only because I'm not really sure on what to do since she's so hot and cold.

Another update...We ended up having a misunderstanding and now she stated she no longer wants me in her life. I told her the misunderstanding was on my part then she just started arguing and saying mean things. What she was saying wasn't making sense and said I twisted her words but I didn't twist her words because it was a text she sent me and I sent it back to her showing what she said. She told me she was done and to lose her number. We are friends on a social networking site and she wrote 2 post that were aimed to get me mad but it didn't bother me because I feel the arguement was for no reason. Then later on today she deleted me from her friends list. I just want to know will she want to be friends again after she cool off? I know she told me to lose her number but she said that before when we broke up a couple of months ago then after a couple of weeks she started calling me and texting again. The arguement really did just come from out of nowhere and then she started talking about we weren't getting back together because I told her she wasn't what I wanted. I never said that to her and it seems she is just making up things now. I've been with a Cancer before but I have never been so confused in my life but something still draws me to be in her life.

Maybe someone else is in the picture?

I am a cancer male who dated a cancer woman and they have no problems disappearing on you and never giving an explanation as to what happened.

I can pull a disappearing act, but as cancer man I feel like its good to let someone know in a reasonable timeframe, Cancer women honestly don't care.

Thanks for the advice everyone but this is actually the worst Cancer I have been with and to me she seems really immature. She would really annoy me if we did get together so I'm just going to stop talking to her like she requested. Test or not she is pretty extreme for no reason. Even if she decided to talk she would still get hit with the Capricorn silent treatment because I'm a great catch and she ruined her chance. No time for games :-)

Maybe stop playing games with her and testing her then things will be better between you both.

I'm not playing games with her or testing her.

Tell her something like: I want you but I won't tolerate your ambivalent behavior, so think about it and decide.

I agree. Be Direct. Be Specific. Be Assertive. Be Serious. This is an immature one for sure. I was just like her, but at 26-years-old now, I am VERY aware of that problem after being with a Pieces/Aries-cusp for almost 4 years who was 10 years older than me and I put him through a roller-coaster just like that girl. I am not proud of it whatsoever, but I learned so much from that relationship. Sooner or later, this 28yo Cancerian ex of yours has to realize that although we experience switching tides so often in a span of a day or even hour, she must learn to ride out those inner tides without letting it destroy her external world, especially the people she cares most about. When we question something about ourselves, we tend to question the people closest to us and everything/anyone we love, we doubt it all. An immature Cancer girl will project and blame others for the emotional tides she is experiencing, with the rationale that YOU caused her feelings to stir up! Which is baloney! Cancers MUST learn to accept their inner tides and not be so hard on themselves for this "defect," it's the only way they learn to love themselves and stop punishing the people who just wanna get close to them and love them back. Maybe I will have more to say later.... but im hungry now

ITS THE SUPERMOON

COMING THIS SUNDAY!

@ OP:

How old are you, and how old is she?

What kind of nasty stuff did you say to her when she split with you the first time? You Capricorns tend to be pathological liars by default, so fight your urge and tell us precisely what you said to her.

Posted by noonie1801
Thanks for the advice everyone but this is actually the worst Cancer I have been with and to me she seems really immature. She would really annoy me if we did get together so I'm just going to stop talking to her like she requested. Test or not she is pretty extreme for no reason. Even if she decided to talk she would still get hit with the Capricorn silent treatment because I'm a great catch and she ruined her chance. No time for games :-)

What makes you such a "great catch?". You sound like a narcissist and an asshole in dire need of a lesson in humility 101.

Posted by noonie1801
Another update...We ended up having a misunderstanding and now she stated she no longer wants me in her life. I told her the misunderstanding was on my part then she just started arguing and saying mean things. .

You provoked her by calling her a cunt, didn't you? I bet you are just like your Capricorn buddy Mel Gibson. All nice and sweet in public, and a total psychopath in public.

A psychopath in private

BTW, Cancer females go best with Scorpio or Pisces men who are 5-10 years older.

Posted by ScorpioFish
BTW, Cancer females go best with Scorpio or Pisces men who are 5-10 years older.

I'm a Cancerian 26/F ....My first relationship (young/puppy love) in highschool was a Scorpio and I bet if we dated when we were a lot older and more mature, it would have been even better. There is a nice connection between Scorpios and Cancers. ..... My recent ex is a Pisces (on a cusp though with Aries but eh) and 10 years older than me, we dated almost 4 years, I learned a lot from that relationship so I agree. ...... Now my (hopefully!!) next relationship will be with this Capricorn guy same age as me and I don't really get the feeling that they are compulsive liars or whatever you said on your prior posts. Perhaps, the sporadic need for alone time to process life matters or their being workaholics becoming too focused sometimes on pressing matters would make them Unavailable especially for needy Cancers. But if you think about it, Cancers go through hot and colds too (more often than Caps) and need their alone time also. I think with enough communication and understanding, there should be enough trust so that either or both partners can have their alone time without hurting the feelings of the other person or trigger the doubts & insecurities of the Cancerian partner. If I wasn't so confident and secure about myself and the budding relationship, I can see how the not-so-pleasant aspects of being an Cancer could start assuming/accusing my Cap partner of being shady or lying to me about his unavailability. ScorpioFish I'm curious, have you dated any Caps or been close with one through friendship or whatever? It just seems like have only negative things to say about them so I am just curious as to why.

Posted by tiltedmoonshadow

Posted by ScorpioFish
BTW, Cancer females go best with Scorpio or Pisces men who are 5-10 years older.

I'm a Cancerian 26/F ....My first relationship (young/puppy love) in highschool was a Scorpio and I bet if we dated when we were a lot older and more mature, it would have been even better. There is a nice connection between Scorpios and Cancers. ..... My recent ex is a Pisces (on a cusp though with Aries but eh) and 10 years older than me, we dated almost 4 years, I learned a lot from that relationship so I agree. ...... Now my (hopefully!!) next relationship will be with this Capricorn guy same age as me and I don't really get the feeling that they are compulsive liars or whatever you said on your prior posts. Perhaps, the sporadic need for alone time to process life matters or their being workaholics becoming too focused sometimes on pressing matters would make them Unavailable especially for needy Cancers. But if you think about it, Cancers go through hot and colds too (more often than Caps) and need their alone time also. I think with enough communication and understanding, there should be enough trust so that either or both partners can have their alone time without hurting the feelings of the other person or trigger the doubts & insecurities of the Cancerian partner. If I wasn't so confident and secure about myself and the budding relationship, I can see how the not-so-pleasant aspects of being an Cancer could start assuming/accusing my Cap partner of being shady or lying to me about his unavailability. ScorpioFish I'm curious, have you dated any Caps or been close with one through friendship or whatever? It just seems like have only negative things to say about them so I am just curious as to why.

click to expand

Wait, you are pursuing a guy your own age? What is wrong with you?

Good luck with that. Vegas odds are that he is an asshole.

ScorpioFish, are you a male? Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces?

Posted by lnana04
ScorpioFish, are you a male? Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces?

Technically, all of the above.

Male

Mars in Cancer

Pisces, with the Scorpio Decan...

Posted by ScorpioFish

Posted by lnana04
ScorpioFish, are you a male? Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces?

Technically, all of the above.

Male

Mars in Cancer

Pisces, with the Scorpio Decan...

click to expand

So you are actually a Pisces with a Mars in Cancer? But your Pisces expresses itself like a Scorpio.

Posted by LunarMaiden

Posted by ScorpioFish

Posted by lnana04
ScorpioFish, are you a male? Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces?

Technically, all of the above.

Male

Mars in Cancer

Pisces, with the Scorpio Decan...

So you are actually a Pisces with a Mars in Cancer? But your Pisces expresses itself like a Scorpio.

click to expand

Correct, but there is something more...

I have tremendous compassion and decency toward human beings who have good hearts, but I have a Stingray's tail for the assholes on this planet.