claro
@clare
9 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 67 · Posts: 960 · Topics: 25
Trusting people
By default I don't trust anyone until they've earned it. But there are some people who have a beautiful aura and I sense instantly that they are genuine good people. That's what happened when I first met my Virgo boy. Blue eyes sparkling with kindness and intelligence = instant boom.
But other people just ooze bad intentions.
But other people just ooze bad intentions.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowAw that's so sweet. but yeah I see what you mean.
By default I don't trust anyone until they've earned it. But there are some people who have a beautiful aura and I sense instantly that they are genuine good people. That's what happened when I first met my Virgo boy. Blue eyes sparkling with kindness and intelligence = instant boom.
But other people just ooze bad intentions.
people can change though and don't you think we're dynamic?
i guess you (people in general) feel like you can sense it sometimes, but do you ever question yourself and wonder if you were wrong?
I just remembered, this gardener who came to my house to give me a quote a few weeks ago who had amazing eyes that were bright and clear; I knew I could trust him instantly. it wasn't just his eyes though, it was his aura and general disposition too.
Posted by Distilledargh, i'm afraid to admit that this is turning out to be me.Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
No
True.
I'll give a person or two a percentage though after some time if needed.
click to expand
I began life trusting everybody, too much. this seems to be decreasing exponentially as time goes on lol.
Posted by aquanibi don't know, the whole leverage thing seems calculating to me. is that really trust?Posted by clareWhen they show you vulnerabilities it makes you feel you're getting leverage to use in case the trust you've placed in them gets abused.
I was thinking about this earlier today and I realised that I feel I can generally trust people more when they are willing to show some vulnerabilities. But is this an accurate way of gauging trust?
Ppl can feed you stories which give no leverage and get trust in return. It's not an accurate way, it's very subjective, or at the minimum there is no one rule under which you can operate. Each instance should be taken on case by case basis.
click to expand
this makes me wonder, though, can trust happen as a projection, in the same way that negative emotions do?
i do understand the whole bargaining over time thing, by exchanges. building trust. but i always for some reason have this feeling that being trustworthy is something people have or they don't, to a greater or lesser degree. although, i know it depends on the context and the role a person has in your life to a massive degree, but still ..
let's face it, it can get complicated.
guilt is one of the things i can't deal with. i still feel guilty for something i did over ten years ago.
my intentions were not bad though, i was just naive.
my intentions were not bad though, i was just naive.
Posted by clareOooh careful with those gardeners, they're always upto no good!Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowAw that's so sweet. but yeah I see what you mean.
By default I don't trust anyone until they've earned it. But there are some people who have a beautiful aura and I sense instantly that they are genuine good people. That's what happened when I first met my Virgo boy. Blue eyes sparkling with kindness and intelligence = instant boom.
But other people just ooze bad intentions.
people can change though and don't you think we're dynamic?
i guess you (people in general) feel like you can sense it sometimes, but do you ever question yourself and wonder if you were wrong?
I just remembered, this gardener who came to my house to give me a quote a few weeks ago who had amazing eyes that were bright and clear; I knew I could trust him instantly. it wasn't just his eyes though, it was his aura and general disposition too.
click to expand
With my Pluto in Scorpio, I'm 99% always right about someone. Of course I might get it wrong once in a while if I'm too distracted to pay close enough attention to someone, but I never second-guess myself especially after said person shows his/her true colors and proves me right.
Most male Cancers I've met face to face so far have all had great auras, just instantly making you super-comfortable around them. Scorpios, on the other hand, I get a BAD vibe from too many of them. One of my sister's myriad exes.....I did NOT like him one bit. He turned out to be a major shallow player, kicked her to the curb (not that she didn't deserve it).
And with Jed it wasn't really the color of his eyes, but the feeling behind them. He was just glowing with goodness all over. Very sweet boy.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowhaha! no, i wasn't physically attracted to him. although, the gas installation man last week looked something like him in the picture. i rarely lose myself around a man. well, at least on the outside i didn't. :pPosted by clareOooh careful with those gardeners, they're always upto no good!Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowAw that's so sweet. but yeah I see what you mean.
By default I don't trust anyone until they've earned it. But there are some people who have a beautiful aura and I sense instantly that they are genuine good people. That's what happened when I first met my Virgo boy. Blue eyes sparkling with kindness and intelligence = instant boom.
But other people just ooze bad intentions.
people can change though and don't you think we're dynamic?
i guess you (people in general) feel like you can sense it sometimes, but do you ever question yourself and wonder if you were wrong?
I just remembered, this gardener who came to my house to give me a quote a few weeks ago who had amazing eyes that were bright and clear; I knew I could trust him instantly. it wasn't just his eyes though, it was his aura and general disposition too.
With my Pluto in Scorpio, I'm 99% always right about someone. Of course I might get it wrong once in a while if I'm too distracted to pay close enough attention to someone, but I never second-guess myself especially after said person shows his/her true colors and proves me right.
Most male Cancers I've met face to face so far have all had great auras, just instantly making you super-comfortable around them. Scorpios, on the other hand, I get a BAD vibe from too many of them. One of my sister's myriad exes.....I did NOT like him one bit. He turned out to be a major shallow player, kicked her to the curb (not that she didn't deserve it).
And with Jed it wasn't really the color of his eyes, but the feeling behind them. He was just glowing with goodness all over. Very sweet boy.click to expand
anyway, i feel the same. i am always right about people, but not always straight away it seems. well, not perfectly, as there are always many levels of trust and no one is completely pristine are they! you know, like the onion layers. but i always second guess myself afterwards, which can be seen as both a weakness or a strength, which ever way you look at it. i have to keep this second guessing in check so i don't tread on my own mind lol. when you have it so that you are predicting everything a person is going to do next on top of your intuition speaking, then it's unmistakable!
Posted by GC01true! and all is calm after the self-storm.
I don't put a lot of faith in other people. I only trust a few people.
Sometimes it's best to confide in your self, and weather a storm in your shell. The less people you trust with personal stuff the less messy situations get.
Do I trust others easily... HELL NO...
Ironically I tend to trust people that are suspicious of me....
I also observe people..people really show you who they are when they think you aren't paying attention ...if I am attempting to start a friendship with you I have already decided that you and I can be friends...
^^^^I know this sounds creepy... Cause... It.. Is? Lmao 😆
Ironically I tend to trust people that are suspicious of me....
I also observe people..people really show you who they are when they think you aren't paying attention ...if I am attempting to start a friendship with you I have already decided that you and I can be friends...
^^^^I know this sounds creepy... Cause... It.. Is? Lmao 😆
@HeavyEntertainmentShow yeah, strange about the cancer/ scorpio aura differences. i'm not going into the dynamics here as i've seen this conversation millions of times but i know what you mean.
Posted by Algol-Risingi was wondering if you were a gemini before i read your sign!Posted by clareGuilt is my middle name. 😛
guilt is one of the things i can't deal with. i still feel guilty for something i did over ten years ago.
my intentions were not bad though, i was just naive.
I get better at letting go of stuff, and then I do something new to feel guilty about.
Anyway, I've wandered into the Cancer forum. I'm a Gemini. I do have Mercury and Saturn in Cancer.click to expand
the perils of being a gemini, i do wonder how that feels. mercury in cancer here too.
Posted by Cancan26yeah that's creepy lol. just kidding, it's not! i'm sure people think i don't pay much attention but i can't help but notice a great deal, even when i'm in a world of my own. are you ever wrong about people though and find out after you have befriended someone? i have been, a few times. this is why i'm much more wary these days.
Do I trust others easily... HELL NO...
Ironically I tend to trust people that are suspicious of me....
I also observe people..people really show you who they are when they think you aren't paying attention ...if I am attempting to start a friendship with you I have already decided that you and I can be friends...
^^^^I know this sounds creepy... Cause... It.. Is? Lmao 😆
Posted by clareI dont trust easily, but I will give people the benefit of the doubt to disappoint me. It has to go on gut-feel to some point and then a certain leap of faith. It's ok to be disappointed but it shouldn't be a regular occurance or more than a few times, depending on what trust has been betrayed. That is also how you can give someone a fair deal and not prejudge them.
Do you trust easily?
I really need people around me who I can trust right now. I know everyone needs this, but I feel somewhat desperate for it in particular, moreso than at any other time I can recall.
So my question is, how do you figure out if you can trust someone?
I was thinking about this earlier today and I realised that I feel I can generally trust people more when they are willing to show some vulnerabilities. But is this an accurate way of gauging trust?
Those people who I have ended up feeling like I can't trust happen to have been less likely to show their vulnerable side/s. I don't think this is a coincidence, to be honest.
Posted by rabidtalkeri like this. this is pretty much how i operate too. i don't want to be that person who doesn't trust anyone. so i always give chances.Posted by clareI dont trust easily, but I will give people the benefit of the doubt to disappoint me. It has to go on gut-feel to some point and then a certain leap of faith. It's ok to be disappointed but it shouldn't be a regular occurance or more than a few times, depending on what trust has been betrayed. That is also how you can give someone a fair deal and not prejudge them.
Do you trust easily?
I really need people around me who I can trust right now. I know everyone needs this, but I feel somewhat desperate for it in particular, moreso than at any other time I can recall.
So my question is, how do you figure out if you can trust someone?
I was thinking about this earlier today and I realised that I feel I can generally trust people more when they are willing to show some vulnerabilities. But is this an accurate way of gauging trust?
Those people who I have ended up feeling like I can't trust happen to have been less likely to show their vulnerable side/s. I don't think this is a coincidence, to be honest.
click to expand
if i'm not comfortable with the way someone is being then, i just distance myself.
like really, i just want to trust people and relax. that i can't i find uber annoying.
so how about the vulnerability thing, as not many people really answered that question.
do you think that people who are generally more willing to show vulnerabilities to others are generally more trustworthy? and I don't mean in the building trust between people sense, but more in an individual sense.
this question goes for anybody and everybody.
do you think that people who are generally more willing to show vulnerabilities to others are generally more trustworthy? and I don't mean in the building trust between people sense, but more in an individual sense.
this question goes for anybody and everybody.
Posted by clarePeople that have befriended me sometimes is a crap shoot sometimes they are good people sometimes not so much... People that I have taken time to observe and decide that I wanna be friends with those are usually good people 🙂Posted by Cancan26yeah that's creepy lol. just kidding, it's not! i'm sure people think i don't pay much attention but i can't help but notice a great deal, even when i'm in a world of my own. are you ever wrong about people though and find out after you have befriended someone? i have been, a few times. this is why i'm much more wary these days.
Do I trust others easily... HELL NO...
Ironically I tend to trust people that are suspicious of me....
I also observe people..people really show you who they are when they think you aren't paying attention ...if I am attempting to start a friendship with you I have already decided that you and I can be friends...
^^^^I know this sounds creepy... Cause... It.. Is? Lmao 😆
click to expand
Posted by clareTruthfully I would trust some more if they reveal their vulnerabilities first... And I do feel like that this people would be less likely to be betray you if they already trust you...
so how about the vulnerability thing, as not many people really answered that question.
do you think that people who are generally more willing to show vulnerabilities to others are generally more trustworthy? and I don't mean in the building trust between people sense, but more in an individual sense.
this question goes for anybody and everybody.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowWhat is his moon?
By default I don't trust anyone until they've earned it. But there are some people who have a beautiful aura and I sense instantly that they are genuine good people. That's what happened when I first met my Virgo boy. Blue eyes sparkling with kindness and intelligence = instant boom.
But other people just ooze bad intentions.
Posted by LovingSeraphinaHmm.
Yeah I haven't any reason not to trust people 🙂 So yeah I do 🙂 I trust everyone 🙂
You're fortunate.
Most people have been burned by their 20s.
Posted by MontgomeryCapricorn moon, but he's also a Leo sun cusper & Pisces rising, always got a smile ready to go & loves to skit..Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowWhat is his moon?
By default I don't trust anyone until they've earned it. But there are some people who have a beautiful aura and I sense instantly that they are genuine good people. That's what happened when I first met my Virgo boy. Blue eyes sparkling with kindness and intelligence = instant boom.
But other people just ooze bad intentions.
click to expand
Posted by clareThe only way to figure out if you can trust someone is to trust them 😉
Do you trust easily?
I really need people around me who I can trust right now. I know everyone needs this, but I feel somewhat desperate for it in particular, moreso than at any other time I can recall.
So my question is, how do you figure out if you can trust someone?
I was thinking about this earlier today and I realised that I feel I can generally trust people more when they are willing to show some vulnerabilities. But is this an accurate way of gauging trust?
Those people who I have ended up feeling like I can't trust happen to have been less likely to show their vulnerable side/s. I don't think this is a coincidence, to be honest.
Posted by clareThings become clearer as you get older.Posted by Distilledargh, i'm afraid to admit that this is turning out to be me.Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
No
True.
I'll give a person or two a percentage though after some time if needed.
I began life trusting everybody, too much. this seems to be decreasing exponentially as time goes on lol.
click to expand
Posted by clarei am innately distrustful of others but will give a benefit of doubt until they prove otherwise. I observe, see how they are with others, if that is possible, share some stuff and if it doesn't trickle to others, i open up a bit more. Being vunerable does help, but there are some people in the world that use that to manipulate, but you can usually see that if you watch, wait and see. There is nothing wrong with vetting others to see if they are trustworthy, imo that is actually a smart thing to do.
so how about the vulnerability thing, as not many people really answered that question.
do you think that people who are generally more willing to show vulnerabilities to others are generally more trustworthy? and I don't mean in the building trust between people sense, but more in an individual sense.
this question goes for anybody and everybody.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowwhat is skit where you're from?Posted by MontgomeryCapricorn moon, but he's also a Leo sun cusper & Pisces rising, always got a smile ready to go & loves to skit..Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowWhat is his moon?
By default I don't trust anyone until they've earned it. But there are some people who have a beautiful aura and I sense instantly that they are genuine good people. That's what happened when I first met my Virgo boy. Blue eyes sparkling with kindness and intelligence = instant boom.
But other people just ooze bad intentions.
click to expand
here, it's calling people names. not in a good way.
Posted by LibraLovesHimi know, i know! 🙂Posted by clareThe only way to figure out if you can trust someone is to trust them 😉
Do you trust easily?
I really need people around me who I can trust right now. I know everyone needs this, but I feel somewhat desperate for it in particular, moreso than at any other time I can recall.
So my question is, how do you figure out if you can trust someone?
I was thinking about this earlier today and I realised that I feel I can generally trust people more when they are willing to show some vulnerabilities. But is this an accurate way of gauging trust?
Those people who I have ended up feeling like I can't trust happen to have been less likely to show their vulnerable side/s. I don't think this is a coincidence, to be honest.click to expand
and keep your eyes open and remain a little crazy (and flexible).
(I saw that lol).
Posted by Ram416yeah! but part of me thinks that this calls for me to become more accepting rather than rigid, as many people do. i feel that acceptance is good for the soul.Posted by clareThings become clearer as you get older.Posted by Distilledargh, i'm afraid to admit that this is turning out to be me.Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
No
True.
I'll give a person or two a percentage though after some time if needed.
I began life trusting everybody, too much. this seems to be decreasing exponentially as time goes on lol.
click to expand
Posted by clareHe's got a theatrical flair and he loves to put on impromptu skits.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowwhat is skit where you're from?Posted by MontgomeryCapricorn moon, but he's also a Leo sun cusper & Pisces rising, always got a smile ready to go & loves to skit..Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowWhat is his moon?
By default I don't trust anyone until they've earned it. But there are some people who have a beautiful aura and I sense instantly that they are genuine good people. That's what happened when I first met my Virgo boy. Blue eyes sparkling with kindness and intelligence = instant boom.
But other people just ooze bad intentions.
here, it's calling people names. not in a good way.
click to expand
Posted by justagirli agree, it's smart and i've seen others do it but i have just never been one to observe those practocal things about people. well i guess until recent years.Posted by clarei am innately distrustful of others but will give a benefit of doubt until they prove otherwise. I observe, see how they are with others, if that is possible, share some stuff and if it doesn't trickle to others, i open up a bit more. Being vunerable does help, but there are some people in the world that use that to manipulate, but you can usually see that if you watch, wait and see. There is nothing wrong with vetting others to see if they are trustworthy, imo that is actually a smart thing to do.
so how about the vulnerability thing, as not many people really answered that question.
do you think that people who are generally more willing to show vulnerabilities to others are generally more trustworthy? and I don't mean in the building trust between people sense, but more in an individual sense.
this question goes for anybody and everybody.click to expand
so you can tell when people use vulnerability to manipulate? i rely on my instincts a hell of a lot. i hate people watching, but i have to do it. i view vulnerability from the other side, as in everybody is and those who for some reason fear it are those who don't show it. we are by default and we especially begin that way, as children.
Being a Pisces, we are too trustful, but I have learnt that it is only age that I need to be careful. Insinct is key..... and I will immediately know if I do not like or trust someone.
In relationships, I try to go with the flow, and form my own opinions but I really like to see them interact with my friends and other people, that tells you a lot about someone I think. Only time will tell you, but what I cannot stand and makes me really angry is others 'vetting' you in such a rigid fashion, asking calculated questions that you just know are designed to provide them with a specific answer etc...... if that is there version of processing as to whether they can trust you. Want to know something about me then just ask straight out...... makes me feel like I can't be trusted when people are like it 😢
I don't trust anyone, and that sadly says a lot these days.
In relationships, I try to go with the flow, and form my own opinions but I really like to see them interact with my friends and other people, that tells you a lot about someone I think. Only time will tell you, but what I cannot stand and makes me really angry is others 'vetting' you in such a rigid fashion, asking calculated questions that you just know are designed to provide them with a specific answer etc...... if that is there version of processing as to whether they can trust you. Want to know something about me then just ask straight out...... makes me feel like I can't be trusted when people are like it 😢
I don't trust anyone, and that sadly says a lot these days.
Posted by clareJust because things become clearer doesn't mean you become rigid. That is only ONE way of looking at it.Posted by Ram416yeah! but part of me thinks that this calls for me to become more accepting rather than rigid, as many people do. i feel that acceptance is good for the soul.Posted by clareThings become clearer as you get older.Posted by Distilledargh, i'm afraid to admit that this is turning out to be me.Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
No
True.
I'll give a person or two a percentage though after some time if needed.
I began life trusting everybody, too much. this seems to be decreasing exponentially as time goes on lol.
click to expand
Based on your own experience, your standards and priorities will change - what you have so far learnt of people is one of the reasons for that change.
You can be accepting and still be self-protective, flexible yet cautious. It all depends on what you know and have learnt about people over time, and how you factor those experiences into your current interactions.
Posted by clare
Do you trust easily?
I really need people around me who I can trust right now. I know everyone needs this, but I feel somewhat desperate for it in particular, moreso than at any other time I can recall.
So my question is, how do you figure out if you can trust someone?
I was thinking about this earlier today and I realised that I feel I can generally trust people more when they are willing to show some vulnerabilities. But is this an accurate way of gauging trust?
Those people who I have ended up feeling like I can't trust happen to have been less likely to show their vulnerable side/s. I don't think this is a coincidence, to be honest.
Just be yourself and be focused on improving yourself internally ...as a cancer myself there were things I wasn't happy but I realized I needed to grow .....especially with the sensitive ....get over that and the insecurities it brings and you'll be fine you'll find if you can grow and be balanced asa cancer ...nothing can't stop you !....
Posted by clareI have come to be more accepting as I get older but not in the way you think of acceptance. I want to trust people, but I have accepted that I can not. It is not a bad thing, but everyone has their own agenda and goals that may not be in alignment with yours. That doesn't make them good or bad people, when everyone is young, they have just not figured out what those agendas and goals in life are yet. Being rigid is expecting everyone to fit into one world view, but it is not possible that everyone has the same world view tor even ones that are compatible.
yeah! but part of me thinks that this calls for me to become more accepting rather than rigid, as many people do. i feel that acceptance is good for the soul.
Posted by Pisces_Daydreamerwhat if you were to move slow into a relationship and by the time you do the whole friends thing, you are already very emotionally invested? isn't that just the biggest pain in the rear if this is when you start to see an undesirable side to someone? what do you do about that!
Being a Pisces, we are too trustful, but I have learnt that it is only age that I need to be careful. Insinct is key..... and I will immediately know if I do not like or trust someone.
In relationships, I try to go with the flow, and form my own opinions but I really like to see them interact with my friends and other people, that tells you a lot about someone I think. Only time will tell you, but what I cannot stand and makes me really angry is others 'vetting' you in such a rigid fashion, asking calculated questions that you just know are designed to provide them with a specific answer etc...... if that is there version of processing as to whether they can trust you. Want to know something about me then just ask straight out...... makes me feel like I can't be trusted when people are like it 😢
I don't trust anyone, and that sadly says a lot these days.
i know what you mean. people can be like that on dates; it's ridiculous when you feel like you're at an interview.
i always find that my own observations are far more telling for me and a person's account of themselves is often quite different to what seems to be going on under the surface. they are only really understood though when/ if they open up to you emotionally, rather than purposefully. I have sun in the 12th. I'm swear i'm a bit like a piscean because of that, sometimes.
Posted by Ram416that balance is a great thing to have. i hope i can become more relaxed while being protective and cautious at the same time, this seems to take a lot of effort.Posted by clareJust because things become clearer doesn't mean you become rigid. That is only ONE way of looking at it.Posted by Ram416yeah! but part of me thinks that this calls for me to become more accepting rather than rigid, as many people do. i feel that acceptance is good for the soul.Posted by clareThings become clearer as you get older.Posted by Distilledargh, i'm afraid to admit that this is turning out to be me.Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
No
True.
I'll give a person or two a percentage though after some time if needed.
I began life trusting everybody, too much. this seems to be decreasing exponentially as time goes on lol.
Based on your own experience, your standards and priorities will change - what you have so far learnt of people is one of the reasons for that change.
You can be accepting and still be self-protective, flexible yet cautious. It all depends on what you know and have learnt about people over time, and how you factor those experiences into your current interactions.click to expand
Posted by rabidtalkertrue and i guess the acceptance can be an inward thing or a cooperative thing. like regardless of having it covered, who you let in and not, there is still the whole dealing with things within yourself when someone steps on your toes. i guess this is more personal, but everyone has this problem. super buddha aspirations are tall orders.Posted by clareI have come to be more accepting as I get older but not in the way you think of acceptance. I want to trust people, but I have accepted that I can not. It is not a bad thing, but everyone has their own agenda and goals that may not be in alignment with yours. That doesn't make them good or bad people, when everyone is young, they have just not figured out what those agendas and goals in life are yet. Being rigid is expecting everyone to fit into one world view, but it is not possible that everyone has the same world view tor even ones that are compatible.
yeah! but part of me thinks that this calls for me to become more accepting rather than rigid, as many people do. i feel that acceptance is good for the soul.
click to expand
Same, I always keep a safe distance until there's enough evidence that trust can be risked. And even then, it's a very slow building process.
Posted by Ellygantthis makes sense, although there is always the honesty element, which makes the world of difference.
I actually find that most people can be trusted as long as your motives aren't counter to their livelihood or personal desires. As long as you share a motive that's all you need.
In terms of being emotionally intimate though, like in your closest friendships and romances, trust can only be build over time. You can't truly trust someone without risk.
I don't implicitly trust people that are more vulnerable either though. I've had quite a few people use their vulnerabilities to play on my soft spots when I was younger.
many will lie about their personal desires while pretending their motives are the same as yours.
i guess it just all boils down to honesty, at the end of the day.
I hate to admit that even people i trust get the i don't trust you treatment.
You can be a saint and proven to be super trustworthy but there's always a small doubt within me that i can't seem to get pass no matter how much i try. I guess i don't blindly and undoubtedly trust anyone. I'm always thinking that at any moment, anyone can have a change of heart and betray you.
Thank god i'm super slippery though and people don't notice the mistrust, otherwise i wouldn't have any friends (or family for that matter).
Poker face all the way.
You can be a saint and proven to be super trustworthy but there's always a small doubt within me that i can't seem to get pass no matter how much i try. I guess i don't blindly and undoubtedly trust anyone. I'm always thinking that at any moment, anyone can have a change of heart and betray you.
Thank god i'm super slippery though and people don't notice the mistrust, otherwise i wouldn't have any friends (or family for that matter).
Poker face all the way.
I trust very few ppl .. I don't even trust some family members .. I find myself not being as open with my close friends as I used to be .. I was like an open book when I was younger .. now I'm more closed off & careful what I say . I know my close friends are trustworthy though
i am innately distrustful of others but will give a benefit of doubt until they prove otherwise. I observe, see how they are with others, if that is possible, share some stuff and if it doesn't trickle to others, i open up a bit more. Being vunerable does help, but there are some people in the world that use that to manipulate, but you can usually see that if you watch, wait and see. There is nothing wrong with vetting others to see if they are trustworthy, imo that is actually a smart thing to do.
That's exactly how I am. I'm open to anyone because I like having an open and free spirited nature but I am closely observing the entire time of how far I need to go with someone and I tend to make my mind up pretty quickly as it really doesn't take long to get a good grasp on someone if you know what to look for. I open my trust levels based on what I feel you're deserving of but I'm actually a person who can't have someone around me that I can't trust which is why my circle is very small.
Yes just because someone is being valuable doesn't mean they're trust worthy as lots of people use being valuable as a bait and switch. They know if they open up to you you'll open up to them but who's to say what they're telling you is even the truth? A lot of people talk only so you can feed them your business and I don't fall for that and I can tell when someone is being authentic and when they're not. So I just sit back and let them talk and tell some little white lies so if anything is repeated, it won't matter anyway. At this point in my life I don't need others to confide in because most battles should be fought alone anyway so no one knows and has to deal with the aftermath but you.
As you get older you realize it's best to be your own bestfriend.
Know that there's always a chance for the disappointment caused by broken trust, that's just an inevitable fact of life we have to accept in order to live peacefully amongst other people.
Be smart about who you get close to, in my experience it's fairly easy to tell when someone's a genuinely kind hearted person with the capacity to care deeply about others- you can tell logically through their sense of responsibility, how they treat others and you should be able to kind of sense it in your gut. It's also important that you seek out stable people, being stable is almost as important as being kindhearted when it comes to trust.
Don't share your deepest secrets unless you're still affected by them enough to where talking about them would help the one you're closest to understand you more thoroughly. There are some things I'll never tell anyone, mostly because they're irrelevant in my current state & don't affect me anymore.
Be smart about who you get close to, in my experience it's fairly easy to tell when someone's a genuinely kind hearted person with the capacity to care deeply about others- you can tell logically through their sense of responsibility, how they treat others and you should be able to kind of sense it in your gut. It's also important that you seek out stable people, being stable is almost as important as being kindhearted when it comes to trust.
Don't share your deepest secrets unless you're still affected by them enough to where talking about them would help the one you're closest to understand you more thoroughly. There are some things I'll never tell anyone, mostly because they're irrelevant in my current state & don't affect me anymore.
Or you could follow this sage advice from Vincent Gallo:
“I don't trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy CREEPS. CREEPING AROUND. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere.”
(But srsly, don't do that.)
“I don't trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy CREEPS. CREEPING AROUND. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere.”
(But srsly, don't do that.)
Hell no!im suspicious until you have proven i can trust you,besides i dont go talking my secrets just with anyone i can go topic by topic talking with you but you still wont know shit about me and ill know a lot about you,people tend to burst out their feelings and secrets with me after talking for awhile but i hold their secrets tight coz it doesnt mean that they tell me that i will broadcast their secrets
I don't trust anyone easily. When I do trust someone it takes me a long time to open up completely BUT there's an exception. There are a small select few people who I've met and we just instantly clicked and I was able to immediately sense that I can trust them fully. Best feeling ever haha.
The cancers I know give test. If you pass it, with time they'll trust you . I think they tend to think of the worst n if you don't do what they think they start trusting you more. And then you share your vulnerability then they trust you more. The vulnerability is a way for cancer to grip you . It helps them feel like you have some closeness .
The thing is ... through this whole process of cancers trying to trust you ... if you pay attention they already gave away all their vulnerability
I'm a Virgo, I don't get cancer but in some odd ways I always understood them .
The thing is ... through this whole process of cancers trying to trust you ... if you pay attention they already gave away all their vulnerability
I'm a Virgo, I don't get cancer but in some odd ways I always understood them .
As a Virgo , I trust everyone to a degree . Actually I'm very calculating but I trust people a lot . I feel like everyone deserve to be trusted until they prove you wrong. I've been taken advantage once or twice but I usually trust my guts when it comes to genuine people. When I trust someone I think about the possibility of that person breaking my trust. Except I never believe it until it's been proven. And with time , if they never lie to me I start to completely trust . I'm really big on honesty. If you did something awful but you own up to it and aware of the mistakes , stuff like that make me trust people even more. You trust me enough to share that with me and I wouldn't use it against you.
Ex: I've loan a gambling addict 1000 $ because he told me he needed it for rent to help out a friend. I didn't even question it because if it was my friend I'd help. Found out later he was a gambling addict n did the same thing to a few people. I got half of it back after hunting him about it for a year. But once the trust is lost , its gone.
Ex: I've loan a gambling addict 1000 $ because he told me he needed it for rent to help out a friend. I didn't even question it because if it was my friend I'd help. Found out later he was a gambling addict n did the same thing to a few people. I got half of it back after hunting him about it for a year. But once the trust is lost , its gone.
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I really need people around me who I can trust right now. I know everyone needs this, but I feel somewhat desperate for it in particular, moreso than at any other time I can recall.
So my question is, how do you figure out if you can trust someone?
I was thinking about this earlier today and I realised that I feel I can generally trust people more when they are willing to show some vulnerabilities. But is this an accurate way of gauging trust?
Those people who I have ended up feeling like I can't trust happen to have been less likely to show their vulnerable side/s. I don't think this is a coincidence, to be honest.