Misstoogood
@Misstoogood
9 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 49 · Topics: 3
Why these cancers are always so moody..crabby? (Page 2)
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Posted by Ashley0202Posted by DiamondAceI still remember when we started dating, it was like this since then because after his breakups with his exes he got scared of relationships. I asked him back then if he wants to continue like friends but he said no I really love u and want to be with u..
It's the hardest and most painful thing I've yet to do in my life to leave someone I loved and breathed for. Someone whom we shared precious moments and precious kids. I'll tell you this though, if you can detect that uncertainty and insecure behavior early and before marriage, remove those rose-colored glasses and save both of yourself. Maybe it's just time that you both need and you'll rekindle later but in a better place.
My ex was not a cancer. He's a sag with scorpio moon. I got through it by talking about it a lot with trusted friends and family, going on sites such as this one, learning that there are so many others who were in similar situations and they got through it as well so I can too...and might I add I'm a tough Aquarius lady but a heartbreak is a heartbreak and it breaks us all. Getting through it will make you even stronger. Knowing many, many virgos in my life that are very close friends, they are very thick skinned too when they've had enough. I believe you'll find that place once you're completely ready to let go at your own time.
Also last year during that break up phase I tried talking to psychics and I had talked to 4 psychics about us.. one of them said u r soulmates and the other said he is not feeling good right now but he truly loves u and the other two also said that he loves u alot and he will definitely come back to u.. ?? I don't know y did I believe that but may b bc it was showing me something positive about us which I wanted at that time..
I feel bad that he just couldn't overcome his fears. And after seeing his sister getting divorced he is even more afraid of all this...
I tried to tell him its not the case with everyone. But he isn't ready to listen to anybody.. but yeahh this is true that if he is already sure of the fact that he will never try to fix anything then I should simply walk away... and yess we all face this... so I know I too will get through all this.. I just hope it doesn't affect me professionally..
Thanks alot... ??click to expand
I wouldn't listen to psychics - we're paid to tell you what you want to hear in order for you to call back. You see you spoke to them 4 times.
I understand what it feels like to like someone who doesn't feel the same. You're a smart girl regardless of what you're telling us, you have to know on some level that you mean very little to this man.
You have no game at all the man you're dealing with has a lot of game however. Men with game talk about marriage to manipulate a woman into being controlled. Why? Since you don't have the self-esteem to stop him from coming into your life and abusing you with his emotional abuse and Disappearing Acts he'll just come back around and toy with your heart for sport.
The best thing to do with a man like that is to bring another man on the scene for your leverage. Men like to pursue men like challenges men like to chase men like to feel like they are winning you - men want to win your approval and win the right for you to give them gifts they want to win your heart and win your love and you just give it away.
Also, I do know that are intuition is pretty high. We tend to back off when we notice something isn't right. We do observe and take precaution with you. So when our wall is up, you will have to be patient.
For example, when I found out an aries I used to date was talking to 5 different girls on a more than friendly term. I just immediate dump him without hesitation. This help safe guard my feeling so that I won't fall deeply and put up with his butter. We run away without you realizing it. And sometime we do ghost you when we get bored or sense you are playing us.
For example, when I found out an aries I used to date was talking to 5 different girls on a more than friendly term. I just immediate dump him without hesitation. This help safe guard my feeling so that I won't fall deeply and put up with his butter. We run away without you realizing it. And sometime we do ghost you when we get bored or sense you are playing us.
Posted by TaurusBull1977A man who is bored with a girl.. would he ask her out for a movie? 5 days ago he asked me for a movie.. and yestrday he was completely different..
@Ashley0202
What do YOU want out of this relationship?
You have given him 250% in 6 years, and got back nothing.
Now you want to put in another 250% ?
What are you willing to offer to make this relationship work?
A kidney?
I know some Cancer men who are jerks, but I have also seen some Cancer men who go above and beyond for the women they love. Unfortuantely for the good Cancer men, they're kindness is often exploited.
My gut instinct tells me he's bored and no longer interested.
There's no challenge, no 'moxy', no fire with you.
I know it's a Virgo's duty to want to 'fix' things.
But the Crab is an emotional-based sign.
No amount of work is going to fix this.
If he's not feeling it, he's just not feeling it.
A man who is bored with a girl.. would he ask her out for a movie? 5 days ago he asked me for a movie.. and yesterday he was completely different..
Ashley0202,
I don't pertain to be an expert on relationships, and beyond my star sign I know hardly anything about Astrology.
I don't want to hurt your feelings, but based on all you've posted your relationship is over.
He has emotionally left the relationship.
As a Cancer myself all I can tell you in my younger days, late teens early 20s, I did maintain relationships that didn't meet my needs as I really liked that person, for their character and heart, they hadn't done anything directly, consciously to hurt me.
I maintained these relationships out of guilt.
You are not a priority for/to him, this doesn't mean he wont still have feelings for you or what you had and he may even want to have a legitimate friendship with you.
In relation to asking you to go to the cinema, why wouldn't he ask, your relationship originally started as a friendship, didn't it?.
I agree with Taurus Bull 1977 statement, you are putting in too much effort to maintain a non relationship, and one that doesn't even make you happy.
There are seven pages of posts in which you've gone backwards and forwards with different people, who in roundabout way are all saying the same thing. ITS DONE
Now's the time to move on from him, take some time for yourself and set some personal boundaries.
Posted by HarukkaSorry, this doesn't sound like me at all... soo maybe this is just your truth. Also, if you don't understand how we are then you will have misconceptions. I believe most Cancers have a heart of Gold and only those who truly understand know this.
Why the relationship is hard with cancers?
- They take every thing personally
- they are manipulators (will make do things for them by nagging or plying the victim card.
- they're always (ALWAYS ) think they are victims.
- they are so so selfish, in the first you will never know (esp cancer men)
-they are jealous of everything and everyone.
- they are not your friends when u need them, but you're thier best friend when they need you.
-they are clingy as hell, but when you try to do the same to them, they will be like..oh I'm busy !
-they're always think and live as victims (did I mention that again?)
-they are very very sensitive, but for their feelings.
Sorry cancers, I love you guys but this is the truth ?
Posted by Ashley0202I have Sag Moon too ? What are his Venus, Mercury and Mars?Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeMe- virgo Sun, Scorpio MoonPosted by Ashley0202Oh sheet. ScaryPosted by TheRealGemShadyPosted by Ashley0202Hmm, what happened two years ago?Posted by TheRealGemShadyWell.. 6 years... but since last 2 years he seems to b so moody... one moment he wants to love and the other he forgets about me. I know he is sensitive on the inside but I don't see him sharing anything.. he keeps everything to himself.. he keeps pushing me away.. and when I start ignoring he feels like why am I acting like that..Posted by Ashley0202How long have you been together? Cancer men will take advantage of you and let you go ahead and be their mama if you'll do it. Don't do it! Make them show their grown-up side, which of course, they do have.Posted by TheRealGemShadyWel I haven't experienced any of these with my cancer man yet.. although I know he is sensitive on the inside but I never see him giving much into this relationship.. he expects alot from me but never do anything for us.
Hello...crab?
Someone described it here one day as the sign of mother and son, and that makes since. Cancer is the mother on the outside, nurturing, bossing, picking, and the child on the inside, loving, full of heart, and pouting.
It's much harder to have a personal planet in a water sign if you're a man. Why do we call water signs feminine? Because they're about emotion, which we associate with women, and we don't really allow men to express emotion healthily, at least not in the US, we don't.
You have to be tough and loving to be with a male Cancer. He will embody all the qualities of the child and none of the mother if you let him.
??
but deep down he knows I m never gonna leave him..
What's your sign?
If he has a leo moon he's over it and bored
Him- cancer sun, sag moon
click to expand
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeThis is soo true... I have this challenge with my Pisces Moon dude. I had to get over that thinking thoughand just put my ego aside and be ok with first contacting most times. I just make sure he shows me in other ways that he still cares and pursuing ?
The problem is the water moon and fire moon
water moon doesn't express enough, the fire moon gets doubts and gives water moon space...but hopes the water moon clings...but the water moon thinks fire moon doesn't care or like them so they feel unsatisfied, but the fire moon is just protecting their inner self, they're too proud to cling or be on top of the water moon, they won't text 10k a day, they will respond tho
fire moon is proud, water moon is reticent and insecure.
its a fuked up situation.
it all boils down to communication
Posted by OutOfMyshellVery well stated.
A man who is bored with a girl.. would he ask her out for a movie? 5 days ago he asked me for a movie.. and yesterday he was completely different..
Ashley0202,
I don't pertain to be an expert on relationships, and beyond my star sign I know hardly anything about Astrology.
I don't want to hurt your feelings, but based on all you've posted your relationship is over.
He has emotionally left the relationship.
As a Cancer myself all I can tell you in my younger days, late teens early 20s, I did maintain relationships that didn't meet my needs as I really liked that person, for their character and heart, they hadn't done anything directly, consciously to hurt me.
I maintained these relationships out of guilt.
You are not a priority for/to him, this doesn't mean he wont still have feelings for you or what you had and he may even want to have a legitimate friendship with you.
In relation to asking you to go to the cinema, why wouldn't he ask, your relationship originally started as a friendship, didn't it?.
I agree with Taurus Bull 1977 statement, you are putting in too much effort to maintain a non relationship, and one that doesn't even make you happy.
There are seven pages of posts in which you've gone backwards and forwards with different people, who in roundabout way are all saying the same thing. ITS DONE
Now's the time to move on from him, take some time for yourself and set some personal boundaries.
Posted by Ashley0202Hmm yes... Mercury Cancer is going to make him even more sensitive and doubtful. Also, I know with this placement I will not communicate my needs to someone unless they are understanding and I feel safe to do so. Basically, you will have to communicate very sensitive, patient and understanding... try giving him a massage and talk softly be like I want to be with you... is there anything you need me to do, anything you need from me? And hopefully that will allow him to open up but don't feel discouraged if he doesn't, he may need more time to feel it's ok to share with you.Posted by MoonbutterCancer Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Mercury Cancer, Venus Taurus, Mars VirgoPosted by Ashley0202I have Sag Moon too ? What are his Venus, Mercury and Mars?Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeMe- virgo Sun, Scorpio MoonPosted by Ashley0202Oh sheet. ScaryPosted by TheRealGemShadyPosted by Ashley0202Hmm, what happened two years ago?Posted by TheRealGemShadyWell.. 6 years... but since last 2 years he seems to b so moody... one moment he wants to love and the other he forgets about me. I know he is sensitive on the inside but I don't see him sharing anything.. he keeps everything to himself.. he keeps pushing me away.. and when I start ignoring he feels like why am I acting like that..Posted by Ashley0202How long have you been together? Cancer men will take advantage of you and let you go ahead and be their mama if you'll do it. Don't do it! Make them show their grown-up side, which of course, they do have.Posted by TheRealGemShadyWel I haven't experienced any of these with my cancer man yet.. although I know he is sensitive on the inside but I never see him giving much into this relationship.. he expects alot from me but never do anything for us.
Hello...crab?
Someone described it here one day as the sign of mother and son, and that makes since. Cancer is the mother on the outside, nurturing, bossing, picking, and the child on the inside, loving, full of heart, and pouting.
It's much harder to have a personal planet in a water sign if you're a man. Why do we call water signs feminine? Because they're about emotion, which we associate with women, and we don't really allow men to express emotion healthily, at least not in the US, we don't.
You have to be tough and loving to be with a male Cancer. He will embody all the qualities of the child and none of the mother if you let him.
??
but deep down he knows I m never gonna leave him..
What's your sign?
If he has a leo moon he's over it and bored
Him- cancer sun, sag moon
click to expand
Here's my experience as a Virgo and dealing with a cancer for some years now . Take it with a grain of salt .
I'm flexible and grounded but I communicate really well. He doesn't but with time he learned to communicate . YOU have to start this and you have to start slow. They are emotional but they can't talk to you when you're emotional .
If he's anything like mine, he doesn't talk much but I don't take it personal because compared to everybody else , with the exception of his family .. I know more about him than anyone else .
Its once in a blue moon but when they tell you how they feel , listen and believe it . If you interpret it negatively , be on the look out that he is not good with words and probably didn't mean for it to come out like that , ask. Because if he doesn't open up a lot and the one time he does you give him shit for it , he wouldn't want to do that again
I don't ignore , but when he gets cranky and disppear , I don't bug him. I'm really better lasting through the disappear than him , I think most Virgo are which is why we end up with cancer . They start the disappearance but we are the one who outlast them so they come back . He knows he have to come back because in his time , I never will lol
And when he come back , if the disappearance was from something they did , I become really short and they will bug me to talk to them and this is the time to communicate and work though the problem because this is when they are most likely to work on things and understand how you feel .
If the disappearance have nothing to do with me , this is the best to ask them what that was all about , but ask in a non scolding way .
You can tell when they get confuse , like they desperately want to be all clingy but then they are scared to be all clingy , they need you to remind them that after the disappearance , you still love them
Then things go back to normal . I've learned to accept him this way . That this is him . I also make sure when I'm hurt by something he does I let him know how and why it made me feel this way , you have to know how to communicate to do this . You cant really last with a cancer if you're not sure of their feeling for you and have a strong identity of your own that can hold up when they are going through the storm and such . It's a lot of work and many relationship are probably less stressful but I chose him . You have to be solid in how they feel about you or you will sway every time they sway . Let their mood affect you and you're done for . I've never apologized for the things I say to him and the way I feel even when he tries to victimize himself. I'm also happy being with him. If I ever find myself more stress than happy , I'm gone .
I'm flexible and grounded but I communicate really well. He doesn't but with time he learned to communicate . YOU have to start this and you have to start slow. They are emotional but they can't talk to you when you're emotional .
If he's anything like mine, he doesn't talk much but I don't take it personal because compared to everybody else , with the exception of his family .. I know more about him than anyone else .
Its once in a blue moon but when they tell you how they feel , listen and believe it . If you interpret it negatively , be on the look out that he is not good with words and probably didn't mean for it to come out like that , ask. Because if he doesn't open up a lot and the one time he does you give him shit for it , he wouldn't want to do that again
I don't ignore , but when he gets cranky and disppear , I don't bug him. I'm really better lasting through the disappear than him , I think most Virgo are which is why we end up with cancer . They start the disappearance but we are the one who outlast them so they come back . He knows he have to come back because in his time , I never will lol
And when he come back , if the disappearance was from something they did , I become really short and they will bug me to talk to them and this is the time to communicate and work though the problem because this is when they are most likely to work on things and understand how you feel .
If the disappearance have nothing to do with me , this is the best to ask them what that was all about , but ask in a non scolding way .
You can tell when they get confuse , like they desperately want to be all clingy but then they are scared to be all clingy , they need you to remind them that after the disappearance , you still love them
Then things go back to normal . I've learned to accept him this way . That this is him . I also make sure when I'm hurt by something he does I let him know how and why it made me feel this way , you have to know how to communicate to do this . You cant really last with a cancer if you're not sure of their feeling for you and have a strong identity of your own that can hold up when they are going through the storm and such . It's a lot of work and many relationship are probably less stressful but I chose him . You have to be solid in how they feel about you or you will sway every time they sway . Let their mood affect you and you're done for . I've never apologized for the things I say to him and the way I feel even when he tries to victimize himself. I'm also happy being with him. If I ever find myself more stress than happy , I'm gone .
Posted by coldwateryvirgoSo what do you think should I talk to him directly or try to be a friend for sometime and see if he himself gets out of this fear?
Here's my experience as a Virgo and dealing with a cancer for some years now . Take it with a grain of salt .
I'm flexible and grounded but I communicate really well. He doesn't but with time he learned to communicate . YOU have to start this and you have to start slow. They are emotional but they can't talk to you when you're emotional .
If he's anything like mine, he doesn't talk much but I don't take it personal because compared to everybody else , with the exception of his family .. I know more about him than anyone else .
Its once in a blue moon but when they tell you how they feel , listen and believe it . If you interpret it negatively , be on the look out that he is not good with words and probably didn't mean for it to come out like that , ask. Because if he doesn't open up a lot and the one time he does you give him shit for it , he wouldn't want to do that again
I don't ignore , but when he gets cranky and disppear , I don't bug him. I'm really better lasting through the disappear than him , I think most Virgo are which is why we end up with cancer . They start the disappearance but we are the one who outlast them so they come back . He knows he have to come back because in his time , I never will lol
And when he come back , if the disappearance was from something they did , I become really short and they will bug me to talk to them and this is the time to communicate and work though the problem because this is when they are most likely to work on things and understand how you feel .
If the disappearance have nothing to do with me , this is the best to ask them what that was all about , but ask in a non scolding way .
You can tell when they get confuse , like they desperately want to be all clingy but then they are scared to be all clingy , they need you to remind them that after the disappearance , you still love them
Then things go back to normal . I've learned to accept him this way . That this is him . I also make sure when I'm hurt by something he does I let him know how and why it made me feel this way , you have to know how to communicate to do this . You cant really last with a cancer if you're not sure of their feeling for you and have a strong identity of your own that can hold up when they are going through the storm and such . It's a lot of work and many relationship are probably less stressful but I chose him . You have to be solid in how they feel about you or you will sway every time they sway . Let their mood affect you and you're done for
I know him, he always tries to escape out from the situations and when I comfort him and show him and that I m never gonna leave him he comes back.. he did alot as nobody would wait for 2 long years for someone who hardly contacts him ( like I never contacted myself, he used to be the one always, my biggest fault).. he just waited for me to come back.. and wen I came back he was really happy and it went quite well until I said few things to him few months ago (after which he stopped talking.) And then again I fixed them up..
I know this time he won't call (I saw that fear in his eyes that day but I couldn't say much bcz he was getting so aggressive bcz of all that)...
He always talked about our future always gave me the re assurance.. infact a week ago he said that I m not get married and then another moment he said something related to us (which came out naturally)..
I just don't know how should I talk to him about it now.. bcz that day wen he was telling me all that he asked me to say something but I could not..
Should I talk or wait?
Posted by HarukkaSounds almost exactly like a friend of mine (Libra) and my dad (Leo) yet they don't have any cancer placements in their charts even though I don't know their rising signs. But both have Taurus moon, so maybe that's the problem? ^^
Why the relationship is hard with cancers?
- They take every thing personally
- they are manipulators (will make do things for them by nagging or plying the victim card.
- they're always (ALWAYS ) think they are victims.
- they are so so selfish, in the first you will never know (esp cancer men)
-they are jealous of everything and everyone.
- they are not your friends when u need them, but you're thier best friend when they need you.
-they are clingy as hell, but when you try to do the same to them, they will be like..oh I'm busy !
-they're always think and live as victims (did I mention that again?)
-they are very very sensitive, but for their feelings.
Sorry cancers, I love you guys but this is the truth ?
Posted by Ashley0202Posted by coldwateryvirgoSo what do you think should I talk to him directly or try to be a friend for sometime and see if he himself gets out of this fear?
Here's my experience as a Virgo and dealing with a cancer for some years now . Take it with a grain of salt .
I'm flexible and grounded but I communicate really well. He doesn't but with time he learned to communicate . YOU have to start this and you have to start slow. They are emotional but they can't talk to you when you're emotional .
If he's anything like mine, he doesn't talk much but I don't take it personal because compared to everybody else , with the exception of his family .. I know more about him than anyone else .
Its once in a blue moon but when they tell you how they feel , listen and believe it . If you interpret it negatively , be on the look out that he is not good with words and probably didn't mean for it to come out like that , ask. Because if he doesn't open up a lot and the one time he does you give him shit for it , he wouldn't want to do that again
I don't ignore , but when he gets cranky and disppear , I don't bug him. I'm really better lasting through the disappear than him , I think most Virgo are which is why we end up with cancer . They start the disappearance but we are the one who outlast them so they come back . He knows he have to come back because in his time , I never will lol
And when he come back , if the disappearance was from something they did , I become really short and they will bug me to talk to them and this is the time to communicate and work though the problem because this is when they are most likely to work on things and understand how you feel .
If the disappearance have nothing to do with me , this is the best to ask them what that was all about , but ask in a non scolding way .
You can tell when they get confuse , like they desperately want to be all clingy but then they are scared to be all clingy , they need you to remind them that after the disappearance , you still love them
Then things go back to normal . I've learned to accept him this way . That this is him . I also make sure when I'm hurt by something he does I let him know how and why it made me feel this way , you have to know how to communicate to do this . You cant really last with a cancer if you're not sure of their feeling for you and have a strong identity of your own that can hold up when they are going through the storm and such . It's a lot of work and many relationship are probably less stressful but I chose him . You have to be solid in how they feel about you or you will sway every time they sway . Let their mood affect you and you're done for
I know him, he always tries to escape out from the situations and when I comfort him and show him and that I m never gonna leave him he comes back.. he did alot as nobody would wait for 2 long years for someone who hardly contacts him ( like I never contacted myself, he used to be the one always, my biggest fault).. he just waited for me to come back.. and wen I came back he was really happy and it went quite well until I said few things to him few months ago (after which he stopped talking.) And then again I fixed them up..
I know this time he won't call (I saw that fear in his eyes that day but I couldn't say much bcz he was getting so aggressive bcz of all that)...
He always talked about our future always gave me the re assurance.. infact a week ago he said that I m not get married and then another moment he said something related to us (which came out naturally)..
I just don't know how should I talk to him about it now.. bcz that day wen he was telling me all that he asked me to say something but I could not..
Should I talk or wait?click to expand
I have to go back and read the last 7 pages of comment first to get a better glimpse of the issue .
but for the time being , do you know ur n his birth chart ? Can you share that ? And also share the things he is sure of in his life, goal and dreams etc
Posted by coldwateryvirgoWell u need not to go back and read those 7 pgs bcz ofcourse their I didn't mention that he has also done alot for me... so I will write everything here...Posted by Ashley0202Posted by coldwateryvirgoSo what do you think should I talk to him directly or try to be a friend for sometime and see if he himself gets out of this fear?
Here's my experience as a Virgo and dealing with a cancer for some years now . Take it with a grain of salt .
I'm flexible and grounded but I communicate really well. He doesn't but with time he learned to communicate . YOU have to start this and you have to start slow. They are emotional but they can't talk to you when you're emotional .
If he's anything like mine, he doesn't talk much but I don't take it personal because compared to everybody else , with the exception of his family .. I know more about him than anyone else .
Its once in a blue moon but when they tell you how they feel , listen and believe it . If you interpret it negatively , be on the look out that he is not good with words and probably didn't mean for it to come out like that , ask. Because if he doesn't open up a lot and the one time he does you give him shit for it , he wouldn't want to do that again
I don't ignore , but when he gets cranky and disppear , I don't bug him. I'm really better lasting through the disappear than him , I think most Virgo are which is why we end up with cancer . They start the disappearance but we are the one who outlast them so they come back . He knows he have to come back because in his time , I never will lol
And when he come back , if the disappearance was from something they did , I become really short and they will bug me to talk to them and this is the time to communicate and work though the problem because this is when they are most likely to work on things and understand how you feel .
If the disappearance have nothing to do with me , this is the best to ask them what that was all about , but ask in a non scolding way .
You can tell when they get confuse , like they desperately want to be all clingy but then they are scared to be all clingy , they need you to remind them that after the disappearance , you still love them
Then things go back to normal . I've learned to accept him this way . That this is him . I also make sure when I'm hurt by something he does I let him know how and why it made me feel this way , you have to know how to communicate to do this . You cant really last with a cancer if you're not sure of their feeling for you and have a strong identity of your own that can hold up when they are going through the storm and such . It's a lot of work and many relationship are probably less stressful but I chose him . You have to be solid in how they feel about you or you will sway every time they sway . Let their mood affect you and you're done for
I know him, he always tries to escape out from the situations and when I comfort him and show him and that I m never gonna leave him he comes back.. he did alot as nobody would wait for 2 long years for someone who hardly contacts him ( like I never contacted myself, he used to be the one always, my biggest fault).. he just waited for me to come back.. and wen I came back he was really happy and it went quite well until I said few things to him few months ago (after which he stopped talking.) And then again I fixed them up..
I know this time he won't call (I saw that fear in his eyes that day but I couldn't say much bcz he was getting so aggressive bcz of all that)...
He always talked about our future always gave me the re assurance.. infact a week ago he said that I m not get married and then another moment he said something related to us (which came out naturally)..
I just don't know how should I talk to him about it now.. bcz that day wen he was telling me all that he asked me to say something but I could not..
Should I talk or wait?
I have to go back and read the last 7 pages of comment first to get a better glimpse of the issue .
but for the time being , do you know ur n his birth chart ? Can you share that ? And also share the things he is sure of in his life, goal and dreams etc
click to expand
We know each other since 11 yrs(same school) but We became best friends aftr school and for more than 4years and then I left the city for my higher studies..we shared a real good bond with each other wen we were friends.. and he was in a bad relationship and used to share every bit of it with me bcz he wasnt happy with her.. later he broke up with her.. and then after few months he shared his feelings for me (which i sensed already when he was in that relationship)..wen I left the city I felt that i also have feelings for him... but didn't tell him.. after 3 months I told him.. and then came an interesting thing "a long distance relationship".. cancers aren't good with that.. but we managed.. once he said that he can't handle bcz he doesn't think he will b abl to handle it anyway.. and then I told him that its a matter of one more year then we will be fine.. and also that he got afraid of the fact that if he breaks up i wont maintain a friendship .. then wen I came for a vacation we met and things got better again and then we wer back in a relationship.. but wen I went back I didn't make any effort (my fault).. I never used to call him. Few texts once in a week. (it wasnt that I didn't miss him but I was afraid of what happened earlier shouldn't happen again, so I avoided talking much). he used call me but never complained.. in between after few months he said lets maintain friendship until we get married.. I didn't say anything but ok.. and then he himself started feeling that why didn't I say anything to him regarding that.. then he again started talking like a couple.. and then again it sorted.. we had a huge lack of communication.. but we managed to keep it.. or should I say he managed it well.. wen I came back we met few times but his reluctance irritated me.. so I asked him to clear it if he really wants it or not.. he got hurt.. then I apologised many times.. he took 3 months to overcome that.. and gave him few handmade gifts..and then again it sorted .. and everything was going quite well with him. I made his sketch once and gave it to him..he did love it alot.. Not much of communication but meeting 2 times in week.. and suddenly I heard that his sister is getting divorced and observed the change in his behavior and his views towards marriage.. he tried not to say that much.. but after 1 month of all those legal dealings he got scared and said that after all this I doubt I will marry.. but along with that whenever I asked him about us he talked about our future kid.. everything was fine till last week.. but 2 days ago wen he met his fears.. I could see that in his eyes.. but I couldn't assure him.. couldnot deal with that at that time..
This is the whole story..
I really love him but may b my way isn't like that .. I can stay without talking to him.. but he is always there in my thoughts..
Posted by coldwateryvirgoComing to our charts.. I don't know his time of birth (actually he doesn't know that either?)..Posted by Ashley0202Posted by coldwateryvirgoSo what do you think should I talk to him directly or try to be a friend for sometime and see if he himself gets out of this fear?
Here's my experience as a Virgo and dealing with a cancer for some years now . Take it with a grain of salt .
I'm flexible and grounded but I communicate really well. He doesn't but with time he learned to communicate . YOU have to start this and you have to start slow. They are emotional but they can't talk to you when you're emotional .
If he's anything like mine, he doesn't talk much but I don't take it personal because compared to everybody else , with the exception of his family .. I know more about him than anyone else .
Its once in a blue moon but when they tell you how they feel , listen and believe it . If you interpret it negatively , be on the look out that he is not good with words and probably didn't mean for it to come out like that , ask. Because if he doesn't open up a lot and the one time he does you give him shit for it , he wouldn't want to do that again
I don't ignore , but when he gets cranky and disppear , I don't bug him. I'm really better lasting through the disappear than him , I think most Virgo are which is why we end up with cancer . They start the disappearance but we are the one who outlast them so they come back . He knows he have to come back because in his time , I never will lol
And when he come back , if the disappearance was from something they did , I become really short and they will bug me to talk to them and this is the time to communicate and work though the problem because this is when they are most likely to work on things and understand how you feel .
If the disappearance have nothing to do with me , this is the best to ask them what that was all about , but ask in a non scolding way .
You can tell when they get confuse , like they desperately want to be all clingy but then they are scared to be all clingy , they need you to remind them that after the disappearance , you still love them
Then things go back to normal . I've learned to accept him this way . That this is him . I also make sure when I'm hurt by something he does I let him know how and why it made me feel this way , you have to know how to communicate to do this . You cant really last with a cancer if you're not sure of their feeling for you and have a strong identity of your own that can hold up when they are going through the storm and such . It's a lot of work and many relationship are probably less stressful but I chose him . You have to be solid in how they feel about you or you will sway every time they sway . Let their mood affect you and you're done for
I know him, he always tries to escape out from the situations and when I comfort him and show him and that I m never gonna leave him he comes back.. he did alot as nobody would wait for 2 long years for someone who hardly contacts him ( like I never contacted myself, he used to be the one always, my biggest fault).. he just waited for me to come back.. and wen I came back he was really happy and it went quite well until I said few things to him few months ago (after which he stopped talking.) And then again I fixed them up..
I know this time he won't call (I saw that fear in his eyes that day but I couldn't say much bcz he was getting so aggressive bcz of all that)...
He always talked about our future always gave me the re assurance.. infact a week ago he said that I m not get married and then another moment he said something related to us (which came out naturally)..
I just don't know how should I talk to him about it now.. bcz that day wen he was telling me all that he asked me to say something but I could not..
Should I talk or wait?
I have to go back and read the last 7 pages of comment first to get a better glimpse of the issue .
but for the time being , do you know ur n his birth chart ? Can you share that ? And also share the things he is sure of in his life, goal and dreams etc
click to expand
Me- Virgo Sun, Scorpio Moon, Mercury Leo, Venus Libra, Mars Gemini, Jupiter Virgo, Saturn Aquarius, Uranus Capricorn, Neptune Capricorn, Pluto Scorpio, Lilith Aquarius, Asc Sagittarius..
Him- Cancer Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Mercury Cancer, Venus Taurus, Mars Virgo, Jupiter Libra, Saturn Aquarius, Uranus Capricorn, Neptune Capricorn, Pluto Scorpio, Lilith Pisces, Asc Sagittarius..
Someone told me that moon sign isn't rogjt without the time of birth.. so I tried with few different timings and it gave the same moon sign..
His goals- earlier he did want to have a happy married life and to get settled in his business.. lately it changed to that I don't want to have any marriage and about settling professionally I don't know that either... so its better if u want to get settled in life see to it that I m never gonna get married..
So I'm gonna put my place in the cancer position for a minute .
Clearly he has some insecurities, like most cancer men . But you weren't able to pinpoint when he needed reassurance . That made it worst . The times you over worry and not contact him coincide with the time he probably need you to reassure him most . He worries about long distance relationship and when you go back after seeing him you don't contact him . Can you imagine his mind spinning about the change in behavior when you're with him vs when you're not ? I wouldn't even be surprise if sometime he thinks about his ex and wonder if leaving her was the right choice .
And if I had to guess again , if he's close to his sister, they probably talk about stuff . Such as why they are heading toward a divorce . Your relationship with him probably matches the typical reason for a divorce , differences, misunderstandings , miscommunication . He is right to worry about that . If you guys were to get married now , I think you would end up hurting him unintentionally .
Now in your place , I get it , as a Virgo you think that when you go see him and you show how much you miss and care about him it should be enough . So when you go back home you go back to work school or whatever , you go back to your life .one in his eyes , that doesn't involve him.
These are all speculation since I don't know . But before you make a decision in how to work with him , you have to make a decision with yourself . You both keep "unintentionally" hurt each other . Are you both willing to change to work on this ? If the other side fail to work on it , how much more strength do you have to keep working on it alone ? You have to work on yourself. When you do work on yourself for the sake of this relationship you hold so dearly, if nothing gets better, how much longer can you take ? How long can you take the back and forth and being in limbo, because this might be who he is and he can't change. Maybe He knows that. It's not easy for Virgo to change either. You know certain things you do hurt him and you keep repeating it too.
Do you want him to stay with you because he fear you might not stay in his life ? Or do you want him to stay with you because he wants to be with you?
You have a foundation of starting off as friends with him. Could you go back to being friends with him? Or was he right to think that if he end the relationship you would no longer be in his life ?
No , relationship requires work , a lot of work but it shouldn't feel that hard . Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's worth it , it could just keep getting harder . Will you stay around when that happens ? Eventually you have to think of yourself.
So think of yourself now, love it a little , put it first . By putting yourself first , dies it feel happier without him ? Leave him alone and while you leave him alone , during that time see if you can be happy without him . Test yourself on its strength to be happy without this person . I think that's what I would do
If you know 100% you want this , you don't care how much it hurts . Sit with him right now , and talk about all the time he hurt you . Tell him what you want from him . Tell him about what he does that push you away . Then finish off with how you feel for him . Then let him talk . Don't be surprise , He might just freeze up completely . Then you both are probably gonna need space after that bomb goes off . Then Wait, Let him come to you . It's important for him to come to term with what he wants . If bits by bit the misunderstanding and communication between you too gets better then that's good , if not , it's a lost cause .
Clearly he has some insecurities, like most cancer men . But you weren't able to pinpoint when he needed reassurance . That made it worst . The times you over worry and not contact him coincide with the time he probably need you to reassure him most . He worries about long distance relationship and when you go back after seeing him you don't contact him . Can you imagine his mind spinning about the change in behavior when you're with him vs when you're not ? I wouldn't even be surprise if sometime he thinks about his ex and wonder if leaving her was the right choice .
And if I had to guess again , if he's close to his sister, they probably talk about stuff . Such as why they are heading toward a divorce . Your relationship with him probably matches the typical reason for a divorce , differences, misunderstandings , miscommunication . He is right to worry about that . If you guys were to get married now , I think you would end up hurting him unintentionally .
Now in your place , I get it , as a Virgo you think that when you go see him and you show how much you miss and care about him it should be enough . So when you go back home you go back to work school or whatever , you go back to your life .one in his eyes , that doesn't involve him.
These are all speculation since I don't know . But before you make a decision in how to work with him , you have to make a decision with yourself . You both keep "unintentionally" hurt each other . Are you both willing to change to work on this ? If the other side fail to work on it , how much more strength do you have to keep working on it alone ? You have to work on yourself. When you do work on yourself for the sake of this relationship you hold so dearly, if nothing gets better, how much longer can you take ? How long can you take the back and forth and being in limbo, because this might be who he is and he can't change. Maybe He knows that. It's not easy for Virgo to change either. You know certain things you do hurt him and you keep repeating it too.
Do you want him to stay with you because he fear you might not stay in his life ? Or do you want him to stay with you because he wants to be with you?
You have a foundation of starting off as friends with him. Could you go back to being friends with him? Or was he right to think that if he end the relationship you would no longer be in his life ?
No , relationship requires work , a lot of work but it shouldn't feel that hard . Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's worth it , it could just keep getting harder . Will you stay around when that happens ? Eventually you have to think of yourself.
So think of yourself now, love it a little , put it first . By putting yourself first , dies it feel happier without him ? Leave him alone and while you leave him alone , during that time see if you can be happy without him . Test yourself on its strength to be happy without this person . I think that's what I would do
If you know 100% you want this , you don't care how much it hurts . Sit with him right now , and talk about all the time he hurt you . Tell him what you want from him . Tell him about what he does that push you away . Then finish off with how you feel for him . Then let him talk . Don't be surprise , He might just freeze up completely . Then you both are probably gonna need space after that bomb goes off . Then Wait, Let him come to you . It's important for him to come to term with what he wants . If bits by bit the misunderstanding and communication between you too gets better then that's good , if not , it's a lost cause .
If you want to continue with how you both been handling things , a method which haven't worked ....I wish you luck
But I don't think anyone should get into a marriage if you're already worried about it failing . Because a marriage involve children , money and much more . It's gonna be way more work .
When I can't see a future with a guy , as a Virgo , I'd lose all effort in a relationship with that person . It's a deal breaker
If they love you and want to be with you , they will come back . And if he love n trust you , separations around him shouldn't get to him . I don't think you guys know Each other much at all .
But I don't think anyone should get into a marriage if you're already worried about it failing . Because a marriage involve children , money and much more . It's gonna be way more work .
When I can't see a future with a guy , as a Virgo , I'd lose all effort in a relationship with that person . It's a deal breaker
If they love you and want to be with you , they will come back . And if he love n trust you , separations around him shouldn't get to him . I don't think you guys know Each other much at all .
Then there you go , you answer your own thread. If you're sure of how he feels and where the problem is , you know .so fix it .nothing anyone on here have to say will help you . You were looking to vent , if youre set on working on it , next time vent to him . He is the way he is, there's no reason to why he or cancers behave such way .
Best
Best
Posted by Harukka
Why the relationship is hard with cancers?
- They take every thing personally---truth(for me at least) I do take things personally with people I like ) the more I like you the easier it is to hurt me) its annoying I know... I'm working on it lol
- they are manipulators (will make do things for them by nagging or plying the victim card.---(kind of true) ---- I don't play victim thing ..but I do nag the shit outta people lmao but when I do I swear I'm think I'm 'helping' you shouldnt eat that... You promised you go to the doctor about that cough blah blah blah
- they're always (ALWAYS ) think they are victims. (False at least for me) there is nothing more embarrassing in this world than being the victim...OF ANYTHING I rather play the villain 1000 times over
- they are so so selfish, in the first you will never know (esp cancer men)----(also false for me) I give my left titty for love ones...infact I know alot of cancers that would do the same (they get take advantage alot)
-they are jealous of everything and everyone.----(false kinda) if you mean being jealous of people things and accomplish not all... If you mean jealous of loved ones affections... Sometimes lmao
- they are not your friends when u need them, but you're thier best friend when they need you.----(oohh false) I have deep pride issues I rather starve before asking from people I don't know or dislike.. Some times I rather go hungry even when its people I trust or do like... Now helping other people yea I'm all about that cause you know.. Their the ones that are vulnerable.. Not me
-they are clingy as hell, but when you try to do the same to them, they will be like..oh I'm busy !(false too) I am clingly af but I love it when people are clingly back mmmm smother me in love slather me with your attention... Hold me... Its moro annoying for the other person than me lol
-they're always think and live as victims (did I mention that again?)--- still no... Live by the creed ...do no harm take no shit...
-they are very very sensitive, but for their feelings....(kind of true)I'm. Very sensitive (shits annoying even for me) but I care for strangers case in point dxp... I like helping people... I hate seeing people gang up on one person...
Sorry cancers, I love you guys but this is the truth ?
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