corny-capri
@corny-capri
4 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 44 · Topics: 2
Would I get another chance with Cancer ex? Tips appreciated
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Re-read what you wrote here.
Cause instead of respecting her decision you are scrambling for a way to 'convince her' otherwise.
You say you don't want to hurt her...
But your also not accepting her decision to end things. That is hurtful.
Cause instead of respecting her decision you are scrambling for a way to 'convince her' otherwise.
You say you don't want to hurt her...
But your also not accepting her decision to end things. That is hurtful.
Re-read what you wrote here.
Cause instead of respecting her decision you are scrambling for a way to 'convince her' otherwise.
You say you don't want to hurt her...
But your also not accepting her decision to end things. That is hurtful.
Cause instead of respecting her decision you are scrambling for a way to 'convince her' otherwise.
You say you don't want to hurt her...
But your also not accepting her decision to end things. That is hurtful.
They. Always. Come. Back. now go, shoo....you do you!
Posted by LadyNeptune
Re-read what you wrote here.
Cause instead of respecting her decision you are scrambling for a way to 'convince her' otherwise.
You say you don't want to hurt her...
But your also not accepting her decision to end things. That is hurtful.
I realized this after and immediately texted her when she left that "I didn't mean to hold her back and that now I respect her need for space and her decision and that I just got emotional". She left it on read, do you think that she would come back around eventually once she sees that I'm trying to change. I talked to her twin sister today and asked if we could be friends and she was asking if I was okay I mentioned that I'm looking for a therapist and that I'm trying to work on myself I hope that she would relay the conversation to my ex.
Posted by geminiflyby
They. Always. Come. Back. now go, shoo....you do you!
I know I really do hope she does Geminifly, my Gemini moon is trying to be optimistic but is just really confused right now. When you see someone every day for a year it's tough to not be able to see or communicate anymore and the apartment is just a constant reminder of her for me, I just want my best friend and girlfriend back.
Desperation is such a turn off, for most people.
Posted by corny-capriPosted by LadyNeptune
Re-read what you wrote here.
Cause instead of respecting her decision you are scrambling for a way to 'convince her' otherwise.
You say you don't want to hurt her...
But your also not accepting her decision to end things. That is hurtful.
I realized this after and immediately texted her when she left that "I didn't mean to hold her back and that now I respect her need for space and her decision and that I just got emotional". She left it on read, do you think that she would come back around eventually once she sees that I'm trying to change. I talked to her twin sister today and asked if we could be friends and she was asking if I was okay I mentioned that I'm looking for a therapist and that I'm trying to work on myself I hope that she would relay the conversation to my ex.click to expand
Translation: let me pretend to respect her wishes for no communication and I'll just manipulate her sister into relaying what I want to communicate instead.
Posted by nikkistar
Desperation is such a turn off, for most people.
I know, I feel pathetic for being so desperate but I just wanted to try and know that I gave my all so I don't regret not doing anything when maybe it could've led to a change.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by corny-capriPosted by LadyNeptune
Re-read what you wrote here.
Cause instead of respecting her decision you are scrambling for a way to 'convince her' otherwise.
You say you don't want to hurt her...
But your also not accepting her decision to end things. That is hurtful.
I realized this after and immediately texted her when she left that "I didn't mean to hold her back and that now I respect her need for space and her decision and that I just got emotional". She left it on read, do you think that she would come back around eventually once she sees that I'm trying to change. I talked to her twin sister today and asked if we could be friends and she was asking if I was okay I mentioned that I'm looking for a therapist and that I'm trying to work on myself I hope that she would relay the conversation to my ex.
Translation: let me pretend to respect her wishes for no communication and I'll just manipulate her sister into relaying what I want to communicate instead.click to expand
I know I shouldn't have but it's still fresh and I just need to come to accept it, it's just what she said just made me think that there's a chance and I got caught up on that.
Posted by corny-capriPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by corny-capriPosted by LadyNeptune
Re-read what you wrote here.
Cause instead of respecting her decision you are scrambling for a way to 'convince her' otherwise.
You say you don't want to hurt her...
But your also not accepting her decision to end things. That is hurtful.
I realized this after and immediately texted her when she left that "I didn't mean to hold her back and that now I respect her need for space and her decision and that I just got emotional". She left it on read, do you think that she would come back around eventually once she sees that I'm trying to change. I talked to her twin sister today and asked if we could be friends and she was asking if I was okay I mentioned that I'm looking for a therapist and that I'm trying to work on myself I hope that she would relay the conversation to my ex.
Translation: let me pretend to respect her wishes for no communication and I'll just manipulate her sister into relaying what I want to communicate instead.
I know I shouldn't have but it's still fresh and I just need to come to accept it, it's just what she said just made me think that there's a chance and I got caught up on that.click to expand
A chance that's gonna evaporate quickly with you involving family members.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by corny-capriPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by corny-capriPosted by LadyNeptune
Re-read what you wrote here.
Cause instead of respecting her decision you are scrambling for a way to 'convince her' otherwise.
You say you don't want to hurt her...
But your also not accepting her decision to end things. That is hurtful.
I realized this after and immediately texted her when she left that "I didn't mean to hold her back and that now I respect her need for space and her decision and that I just got emotional". She left it on read, do you think that she would come back around eventually once she sees that I'm trying to change. I talked to her twin sister today and asked if we could be friends and she was asking if I was okay I mentioned that I'm looking for a therapist and that I'm trying to work on myself I hope that she would relay the conversation to my ex.
Translation: let me pretend to respect her wishes for no communication and I'll just manipulate her sister into relaying what I want to communicate instead.
I know I shouldn't have but it's still fresh and I just need to come to accept it, it's just what she said just made me think that there's a chance and I got caught up on that.
A chance that's gonna evaporate quickly with you involving family members.click to expand
I see, I'll stop now and just proceed with no contact then.
Posted by corny-capriPosted by nikkistar
Desperation is such a turn off, for most people.
I know, I feel pathetic for being so desperate but I just wanted to try and know that I gave my all so I don't regret not doing anything when maybe it could've led to a change.click to expand
Pathetic is probably not the word I would use. You are coming off as obsessive and lacking impulse control. What you are doing is neurotic. It seemingly stems from insecurity, and a heighten fear of abandonment.
Quite honestly, you need to work heavily on yourself. You are ignoring all of the boundaries she wants, under a thinly veiled disguised of trying to not hurt her. Her feelings really have no bearing on any of your actions. Your actions are solely for your benefit, and yours alone.
Oh boy.. You know the saying " you can't say a wrong thing to a right person"?? Yeah keep that on mind..
Besides and hear me out here, people fight all the time and say hurtful things to one another.. If she really loved you that much she would have overlooked and be forgiving, I can't get past what's been said is pure BS.. Conflicts strengthen relationship quality and overall bond..
My temper is more surface level and get over things super quickly, and I have a cancer moon lol
People really need to grow up and be less sensitive gee. Good luck with that cry baby, if she had a key she could have just gone to your place and collect her belongings, what was the point of you being present?? Just to tell you it was over?? She could have left a letter instead.
Provide her placements please.
I just can not deal with people having sky up ego, cut it already and be humble.. I bet she has a lot of leo in chart lol
Either that or she's majorly confused and doesn't know what she wants.
Besides and hear me out here, people fight all the time and say hurtful things to one another.. If she really loved you that much she would have overlooked and be forgiving, I can't get past what's been said is pure BS.. Conflicts strengthen relationship quality and overall bond..
My temper is more surface level and get over things super quickly, and I have a cancer moon lol
People really need to grow up and be less sensitive gee. Good luck with that cry baby, if she had a key she could have just gone to your place and collect her belongings, what was the point of you being present?? Just to tell you it was over?? She could have left a letter instead.
Provide her placements please.
I just can not deal with people having sky up ego, cut it already and be humble.. I bet she has a lot of leo in chart lol
Either that or she's majorly confused and doesn't know what she wants.
Posted by nikkistarPosted by corny-capriPosted by nikkistar
Desperation is such a turn off, for most people.
I know, I feel pathetic for being so desperate but I just wanted to try and know that I gave my all so I don't regret not doing anything when maybe it could've led to a change.
Pathetic is probably not the word I would use. You are coming off as obsessive and lacking impulse control. What you are doing is neurotic. It seemingly stems from insecurity, and a heighten fear of abandonment.
Quite honestly, you need to work heavily on yourself. You are ignoring all of the boundaries she wants, under a thinly veiled disguised of trying to not hurt her. Her feelings really have no bearing on any of your actions. Your actions are solely for your benefit, and yours alone.click to expand
Yeah, I realized we both were dealing with our own problems and needed to work on ourselves I honestly think space was the right choice but got insecure because she wanted to break up when I thought we were just going to take space and then go back to each other. I just booked an appointment with a therapist so I can start changing not just to get her back but for me too. I hope that once she sees that I am better she will come back so I can prove to her that I have changed. My scorpio mars and gemini moon just makes me too impulsive and stubborn sometimes.
Posted by pisceanloves
Oh boy.. You know the saying " you can't say a wrong thing to a right person"?? Yeah keep that on mind..
Besides and hear me out here, people fight all the time and say hurtful things to one another.. If she really loved you that much she would have overlooked and be forgiving, I can't get past what's been said is pure BS.. Conflicts strengthen relationship quality and overall bond..
My temper is more surface level and get over things super quickly, and I have a cancer moon lol
People really need to grow up and be less sensitive gee. Good luck with that cry baby, if she had a key she could have just gone to your place and collect her belongings, what was the point of you being present?? Just to tell you it was over?? She could have left a letter instead.
Provide her placements please.
I just can not deal with people having sky up ego, cut it already and be humble.. I bet she has a lot of leo in chart lol
Either that or she's majorly confused and doesn't know what she wants.
That's why I was stubborn about letting her ago because I thought if she really loved me we could've worked it out because I knew I would put in all my effort. That's what I thought I wondered the whole day and it was just me wishfully thinking that she might've just wanted to say that she missed me and spend time together but then just started packing everything in front of me. A part of me wonders if she would've said anything if I didn't ask what was happening to us. She was so cold right before she left she was saying that she doesn't think that she could be in another relationship because of what happened and how much I hurt her.
Her placements are:
Virgo rising, Cancer sun, Cancer moon, Leo mercury, Virgo venus, Scorpio Mars
Capricorns say hurtful things seemingly without even thinking about it.
And they always have the nerve to be the ones to suggest going on a break when they're the ones in the wrong.
But the whole thing sounds really sad and I hope things work out for both of you no matter what you guys finally decide on.
And they always have the nerve to be the ones to suggest going on a break when they're the ones in the wrong.
But the whole thing sounds really sad and I hope things work out for both of you no matter what you guys finally decide on.
Posted by corny-capriPosted by pisceanloves
Oh boy.. You know the saying " you can't say a wrong thing to a right person"?? Yeah keep that on mind..
Besides and hear me out here, people fight all the time and say hurtful things to one another.. If she really loved you that much she would have overlooked and be forgiving, I can't get past what's been said is pure BS.. Conflicts strengthen relationship quality and overall bond..
My temper is more surface level and get over things super quickly, and I have a cancer moon lol
People really need to grow up and be less sensitive gee. Good luck with that cry baby, if she had a key she could have just gone to your place and collect her belongings, what was the point of you being present?? Just to tell you it was over?? She could have left a letter instead.
Provide her placements please.
I just can not deal with people having sky up ego, cut it already and be humble.. I bet she has a lot of leo in chart lol
Either that or she's majorly confused and doesn't know what she wants.
That's why I was stubborn about letting her ago because I thought if she really loved me we could've worked it out because I knew I would put in all my effort. That's what I thought I wondered the whole day and it was just me wishfully thinking that she might've just wanted to say that she missed me and spend time together but then just started packing everything in front of me. A part of me wonders if she would've said anything if I didn't ask what was happening to us. She was so cold right before she left she was saying that she doesn't think that she could be in another relationship because of what happened and how much I hurt her.
Her placements are:
Virgo rising, Cancer sun, Cancer moon, Leo mercury, Virgo venus, Scorpio Marsclick to expand
What exactly happened between you guys??
Posted by virgoOPPP
Capricorns say hurtful things seemingly without even thinking about it.
And they always have the nerve to be the ones to suggest going on a break when they're the ones in the wrong.
But the whole thing sounds really sad and I hope things work out for both of you no matter what you guys finally decide on.
I know she already kind of decided what was best for her mental health, but I'm just not ready to accept it. I will have to become a better person and show her to possibly win her over again. Thank you for your empathy I'm very sad too she's the only one I can see myself with and I knew this before the relationship ended that's why I really wanted to fight and try for it.
Posted by pisceanlovesPosted by corny-capriPosted by pisceanloves
Oh boy.. You know the saying " you can't say a wrong thing to a right person"?? Yeah keep that on mind..
Besides and hear me out here, people fight all the time and say hurtful things to one another.. If she really loved you that much she would have overlooked and be forgiving, I can't get past what's been said is pure BS.. Conflicts strengthen relationship quality and overall bond..
My temper is more surface level and get over things super quickly, and I have a cancer moon lol
People really need to grow up and be less sensitive gee. Good luck with that cry baby, if she had a key she could have just gone to your place and collect her belongings, what was the point of you being present?? Just to tell you it was over?? She could have left a letter instead.
Provide her placements please.
I just can not deal with people having sky up ego, cut it already and be humble.. I bet she has a lot of leo in chart lol
Either that or she's majorly confused and doesn't know what she wants.
That's why I was stubborn about letting her ago because I thought if she really loved me we could've worked it out because I knew I would put in all my effort. That's what I thought I wondered the whole day and it was just me wishfully thinking that she might've just wanted to say that she missed me and spend time together but then just started packing everything in front of me. A part of me wonders if she would've said anything if I didn't ask what was happening to us. She was so cold right before she left she was saying that she doesn't think that she could be in another relationship because of what happened and how much I hurt her.
Her placements are:
Virgo rising, Cancer sun, Cancer moon, Leo mercury, Virgo venus, Scorpio Mars
What exactly happened between you guys??click to expand
I crossed her boundaries by saying stuff that hurt her without meaning to, and I didn't get a chance to reflect and get help on how to communicate with her. That went on until she just decided that she's had enough i think..
Posted by corny-capriPosted by virgoOPPP
Capricorns say hurtful things seemingly without even thinking about it.
And they always have the nerve to be the ones to suggest going on a break when they're the ones in the wrong.
But the whole thing sounds really sad and I hope things work out for both of you no matter what you guys finally decide on.
I know she already kind of decided what was best for her mental health, but I'm just not ready to accept it. I will have to become a better person and show her to possibly win her over again. Thank you for your empathy I'm very sad too she's the only one I can see myself with and I knew this before the relationship ended that's why I really wanted to fight and try for it.click to expand
it resonated with me coz it's very similar to my own recent breakup, that's almost exactly how it turned out
Posted by virgoOPPPPosted by corny-capriPosted by virgoOPPP
Capricorns say hurtful things seemingly without even thinking about it.
And they always have the nerve to be the ones to suggest going on a break when they're the ones in the wrong.
But the whole thing sounds really sad and I hope things work out for both of you no matter what you guys finally decide on.
I know she already kind of decided what was best for her mental health, but I'm just not ready to accept it. I will have to become a better person and show her to possibly win her over again. Thank you for your empathy I'm very sad too she's the only one I can see myself with and I knew this before the relationship ended that's why I really wanted to fight and try for it.
it resonated with me coz it's very similar to my own recent breakup, that's almost exactly how it turned outclick to expand
I'm so sorry, how did things turn out though are you guys still in no contact period?
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by corny-capriPosted by LadyNeptune
Re-read what you wrote here.
Cause instead of respecting her decision you are scrambling for a way to 'convince her' otherwise.
You say you don't want to hurt her...
But your also not accepting her decision to end things. That is hurtful.
I realized this after and immediately texted her when she left that "I didn't mean to hold her back and that now I respect her need for space and her decision and that I just got emotional". She left it on read, do you think that she would come back around eventually once she sees that I'm trying to change. I talked to her twin sister today and asked if we could be friends and she was asking if I was okay I mentioned that I'm looking for a therapist and that I'm trying to work on myself I hope that she would relay the conversation to my ex.
Translation: let me pretend to respect her wishes for no communication and I'll just manipulate her sister into relaying what I want to communicate instead.click to expand
You are so brutally honest and cold. Show a bit of empathy once in awhile. The guy got hurt by an immature Cancer. He's in a tough spot. I've been there - we've all been there, staring into the abyss that has nothing but darkness. Not seeing the light.
Posted by corny-capriPosted by virgoOPPPPosted by corny-capriPosted by virgoOPPP
Capricorns say hurtful things seemingly without even thinking about it.
And they always have the nerve to be the ones to suggest going on a break when they're the ones in the wrong.
But the whole thing sounds really sad and I hope things work out for both of you no matter what you guys finally decide on.
I know she already kind of decided what was best for her mental health, but I'm just not ready to accept it. I will have to become a better person and show her to possibly win her over again. Thank you for your empathy I'm very sad too she's the only one I can see myself with and I knew this before the relationship ended that's why I really wanted to fight and try for it.
it resonated with me coz it's very similar to my own recent breakup, that's almost exactly how it turned out
I'm so sorry, how did things turn out though are you guys still in no contact period?click to expand
we're in a somewhat amicable state
but there's a lot of resentment
no going back though, I'd rather date someone else
he was capricorn too
Posted by virgoOPPPPosted by corny-capriPosted by virgoOPPPPosted by corny-capriPosted by virgoOPPP
Capricorns say hurtful things seemingly without even thinking about it.
And they always have the nerve to be the ones to suggest going on a break when they're the ones in the wrong.
But the whole thing sounds really sad and I hope things work out for both of you no matter what you guys finally decide on.
I know she already kind of decided what was best for her mental health, but I'm just not ready to accept it. I will have to become a better person and show her to possibly win her over again. Thank you for your empathy I'm very sad too she's the only one I can see myself with and I knew this before the relationship ended that's why I really wanted to fight and try for it.
it resonated with me coz it's very similar to my own recent breakup, that's almost exactly how it turned out
I'm so sorry, how did things turn out though are you guys still in no contact period?
we're in a somewhat amicable state
but there's a lot of resentment
no going back though, I'd rather date someone else
he was capricorn tooclick to expand
Do you think can you can ever retrust if he shows change?
Posted by Plague
I just wonder what you said that was unforgivable and/or unforgettable
I think both, I wouldn't want to ask for forgiveness just the effort to work through it so we can both get past..
Posted by LoggerPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by corny-capriPosted by LadyNeptune
Re-read what you wrote here.
Cause instead of respecting her decision you are scrambling for a way to 'convince her' otherwise.
You say you don't want to hurt her...
But your also not accepting her decision to end things. That is hurtful.
I realized this after and immediately texted her when she left that "I didn't mean to hold her back and that now I respect her need for space and her decision and that I just got emotional". She left it on read, do you think that she would come back around eventually once she sees that I'm trying to change. I talked to her twin sister today and asked if we could be friends and she was asking if I was okay I mentioned that I'm looking for a therapist and that I'm trying to work on myself I hope that she would relay the conversation to my ex.
Translation: let me pretend to respect her wishes for no communication and I'll just manipulate her sister into relaying what I want to communicate instead.
You are so brutally honest and cold. Show a bit of empathy once in awhile. The guy got hurt by an immature Cancer. He's in a tough spot. I've been there - we've all been there, staring into the abyss that has nothing but darkness. Not seeing the light.click to expand
I have plenty of empathy... for her.
Posted by TsunamyPosted by virgoOPPPPosted by corny-capriPosted by virgoOPPPPosted by corny-capriPosted by virgoOPPP
Capricorns say hurtful things seemingly without even thinking about it.
And they always have the nerve to be the ones to suggest going on a break when they're the ones in the wrong.
But the whole thing sounds really sad and I hope things work out for both of you no matter what you guys finally decide on.
I know she already kind of decided what was best for her mental health, but I'm just not ready to accept it. I will have to become a better person and show her to possibly win her over again. Thank you for your empathy I'm very sad too she's the only one I can see myself with and I knew this before the relationship ended that's why I really wanted to fight and try for it.
it resonated with me coz it's very similar to my own recent breakup, that's almost exactly how it turned out
I'm so sorry, how did things turn out though are you guys still in no contact period?
we're in a somewhat amicable state
but there's a lot of resentment
no going back though, I'd rather date someone else
he was capricorn too
You could probably have both at this point. Have him and date someone else.click to expand
Honestly, I thought about that too coz he refused to really break up with me until only recently and there's a part of me that finds it hard to let things go. Things got sooo ugly.
I'm seeing a pisces sun/cap moon now. Funny coz he was a cap sun/pisces moon. These are my dominant chart energies too.
The pisces I'm seeing now though knows it's a very recent breakup and I'm very honest with him about the grief I sometimes feel over it. I keep choosing other guys but he never stops hitting on me. It's almost like he regularly checks my profile to see when I'm single which turns out he does lol. We left our previous relationships for the same reason which I'd rather not get into.
And the pisces is very possessive and bossy (he's cap moon/taurus mars). Sometimes, I feel like he bullied me into dating him lol.
Posted by corny-capriPosted by pisceanloves
Oh boy.. You know the saying " you can't say a wrong thing to a right person"?? Yeah keep that on mind..
Besides and hear me out here, people fight all the time and say hurtful things to one another.. If she really loved you that much she would have overlooked and be forgiving, I can't get past what's been said is pure BS.. Conflicts strengthen relationship quality and overall bond..
My temper is more surface level and get over things super quickly, and I have a cancer moon lol
People really need to grow up and be less sensitive gee. Good luck with that cry baby, if she had a key she could have just gone to your place and collect her belongings, what was the point of you being present?? Just to tell you it was over?? She could have left a letter instead.
Provide her placements please.
I just can not deal with people having sky up ego, cut it already and be humble.. I bet she has a lot of leo in chart lol
Either that or she's majorly confused and doesn't know what she wants.
That's why I was stubborn about letting her ago because I thought if she really loved me we could've worked it out because I knew I would put in all my effort. That's what I thought I wondered the whole day and it was just me wishfully thinking that she might've just wanted to say that she missed me and spend time together but then just started packing everything in front of me. A part of me wonders if she would've said anything if I didn't ask what was happening to us. She was so cold right before she left she was saying that she doesn't think that she could be in another relationship because of what happened and how much I hurt her.
Her placements are:
Virgo rising, Cancer sun, Cancer moon, Leo mercury, Virgo venus, Scorpio Marsclick to expand
You don't have to give up on her per say. You have to do what you said you would do. Which is fix your shit. Change.
Because nothing is going to change unless you change. Go to therapy. Pick up meditation.
Rewire and learn to express differently the things that caused the issues in your relationship that are your fault.
I can tell you how it's going to go down:
One day she will come around again physically and give it another shot BUT Until then, She will check up on you from time to time. Even some light stalking if you have social media BUT that doesn't mean she is ready to try again. She will do this because she still cares and worries about you, keep tabs on you. Avoid passive aggressive behavior and pulling on her heart strings. The thing you need to remember most her is "Actions speak louder then words."
WHEN AND IF she starts talking to you again don't bring up you guys past problems. You have familiarity with her already so starting over will be easy so longs as you don't open up old wounds. You fixing your shit will handle that over time.
She brings it up fine one day fine. You can talk about your current feelings about that not your past self's BS.
Until all that comes to pass let her go and focus on yourself...therapy and meditation ...go fix your shit.
Cancer here.. you are not listening to her at all.
"She told me that she had a change of heart and decided that she was too hurt and doesn't know if she can get over the things I've said that hurt her. She said that she tried but doesn't know and kept saying she can't even though she loved me. The whole time I felt like she was contradicting herself and asked her if she loved me why not give me another chance because I also love her. "
You said hurtful shit. Also, in the last post you told her you apologized and said you understood but still kept starting fights. That is an inconsistency that would nag at me, I remember it well and it wasn't even me dealing with it. Love is not enough, I wont accept abuse and manipulation, and it looks like she wont either. You can't expect people to take you being nasty, I don't care what anyone says.
The desperation wouldn't bug me though, meh lol.
"She told me that she had a change of heart and decided that she was too hurt and doesn't know if she can get over the things I've said that hurt her. She said that she tried but doesn't know and kept saying she can't even though she loved me. The whole time I felt like she was contradicting herself and asked her if she loved me why not give me another chance because I also love her. "
You said hurtful shit. Also, in the last post you told her you apologized and said you understood but still kept starting fights. That is an inconsistency that would nag at me, I remember it well and it wasn't even me dealing with it. Love is not enough, I wont accept abuse and manipulation, and it looks like she wont either. You can't expect people to take you being nasty, I don't care what anyone says.
The desperation wouldn't bug me though, meh lol.
Posted by LostthoughtsPosted by corny-capriPosted by pisceanloves
Oh boy.. You know the saying " you can't say a wrong thing to a right person"?? Yeah keep that on mind..
Besides and hear me out here, people fight all the time and say hurtful things to one another.. If she really loved you that much she would have overlooked and be forgiving, I can't get past what's been said is pure BS.. Conflicts strengthen relationship quality and overall bond..
My temper is more surface level and get over things super quickly, and I have a cancer moon lol
People really need to grow up and be less sensitive gee. Good luck with that cry baby, if she had a key she could have just gone to your place and collect her belongings, what was the point of you being present?? Just to tell you it was over?? She could have left a letter instead.
Provide her placements please.
I just can not deal with people having sky up ego, cut it already and be humble.. I bet she has a lot of leo in chart lol
Either that or she's majorly confused and doesn't know what she wants.
That's why I was stubborn about letting her ago because I thought if she really loved me we could've worked it out because I knew I would put in all my effort. That's what I thought I wondered the whole day and it was just me wishfully thinking that she might've just wanted to say that she missed me and spend time together but then just started packing everything in front of me. A part of me wonders if she would've said anything if I didn't ask what was happening to us. She was so cold right before she left she was saying that she doesn't think that she could be in another relationship because of what happened and how much I hurt her.
Her placements are:
Virgo rising, Cancer sun, Cancer moon, Leo mercury, Virgo venus, Scorpio Mars
You don't have to give up on her per say. You have to do what you said you would do. Which is fix your shit. Change.
Because nothing is going to change unless you change. Go to therapy. Pick up meditation.
Rewire and learn to express differently the things that caused the issues in your relationship that are your fault.
I can tell you how it's going to go down:
One day she will come around again physically and give it another shot BUT Until then, She will check up on you from time to time. Even some light stalking if you have social media BUT that doesn't mean she is ready to try again. She will do this because she still cares and worries about you, keep tabs on you. Avoid passive aggressive behavior and pulling on her heart strings. The thing you need to remember most her is "Actions speak louder then words."
WHEN AND IF she starts talking to you again don't bring up you guys past problems. You have familiarity with her already so starting over will be easy so longs as you don't open up old wounds. You fixing your shit will handle that over time.
She brings it up fine one day fine. You can talk about your current feelings about that not your past self's BS.
Until all that comes to pass let her go and focus on yourself...therapy and meditation ...go fix your shit.click to expand
Yes! I got a therapist yesterday who was the perfect fit and now will meet regularly. I'm going to pick up new hobbies to distract myself and just let her go for now until I get better and then when the chance comes. She just texted my friend again today to ask if they hung out with me recently, I think she definitely still cares and worries but just can't move past what I did yet or trust.
Thank you for all this, this was exactly what I wanted to know. Since I was lost on how to proceed with her because I still don't want to give up. I definitely think that we would benefit from taking space and working on ourselves, I will continue to work on myself until I'm ready and hopefully by then she's worked on herself with her therapist too and is ready to be healthy together again. I still need to get stuff from her, should I text her this weekend to ask to get it?
Posted by Electricboogaloo
Cancer here.. you are not listening to her at all.
"She told me that she had a change of heart and decided that she was too hurt and doesn't know if she can get over the things I've said that hurt her. She said that she tried but doesn't know and kept saying she can't even though she loved me. The whole time I felt like she was contradicting herself and asked her if she loved me why not give me another chance because I also love her. "
You said hurtful shit. Also, in the last post you told her you apologized and said you understood but still kept starting fights. That is an inconsistency that would nag at me, I remember it well and it wasn't even me dealing with it. Love is not enough, I wont accept abuse and manipulation, and it looks like she wont either. You can't expect people to take you being nasty, I don't care what anyone says.
The desperation wouldn't bug me though, meh lol.
I know.. I want to take full responsibility for what I did now and I see now how much it hurt her even though I realized this late. I'm planning to become better for myself and because I value her and I was going to ask if she'd like to go to relationship therapy to help us and her get past it. Do you think that once I show her that I have changed would we still have a chance? She told me that I was the best that she's had in terms of physical chemistry and the only one she truly loved and it's mutual on my end too.
So even if I keep trying to get back together later on after I work on myself it won't bug her?
Posted by corny-capriPosted by LostthoughtsPosted by corny-capriPosted by pisceanloves
Oh boy.. You know the saying " you can't say a wrong thing to a right person"?? Yeah keep that on mind..
Besides and hear me out here, people fight all the time and say hurtful things to one another.. If she really loved you that much she would have overlooked and be forgiving, I can't get past what's been said is pure BS.. Conflicts strengthen relationship quality and overall bond..
My temper is more surface level and get over things super quickly, and I have a cancer moon lol
People really need to grow up and be less sensitive gee. Good luck with that cry baby, if she had a key she could have just gone to your place and collect her belongings, what was the point of you being present?? Just to tell you it was over?? She could have left a letter instead.
Provide her placements please.
I just can not deal with people having sky up ego, cut it already and be humble.. I bet she has a lot of leo in chart lol
Either that or she's majorly confused and doesn't know what she wants.
That's why I was stubborn about letting her ago because I thought if she really loved me we could've worked it out because I knew I would put in all my effort. That's what I thought I wondered the whole day and it was just me wishfully thinking that she might've just wanted to say that she missed me and spend time together but then just started packing everything in front of me. A part of me wonders if she would've said anything if I didn't ask what was happening to us. She was so cold right before she left she was saying that she doesn't think that she could be in another relationship because of what happened and how much I hurt her.
Her placements are:
Virgo rising, Cancer sun, Cancer moon, Leo mercury, Virgo venus, Scorpio Mars
You don't have to give up on her per say. You have to do what you said you would do. Which is fix your shit. Change.
Because nothing is going to change unless you change. Go to therapy. Pick up meditation.
Rewire and learn to express differently the things that caused the issues in your relationship that are your fault.
I can tell you how it's going to go down:
One day she will come around again physically and give it another shot BUT Until then, She will check up on you from time to time. Even some light stalking if you have social media BUT that doesn't mean she is ready to try again. She will do this because she still cares and worries about you, keep tabs on you. Avoid passive aggressive behavior and pulling on her heart strings. The thing you need to remember most her is "Actions speak louder then words."
WHEN AND IF she starts talking to you again don't bring up you guys past problems. You have familiarity with her already so starting over will be easy so longs as you don't open up old wounds. You fixing your shit will handle that over time.
She brings it up fine one day fine. You can talk about your current feelings about that not your past self's BS.
Until all that comes to pass let her go and focus on yourself...therapy and meditation ...go fix your shit.
Yes! I got a therapist yesterday who was the perfect fit and now will meet regularly. I'm going to pick up new hobbies to distract myself and just let her go for now until I get better and then when the chance comes. She just texted my friend again today to ask if they hung out with me recently, I think she definitely still cares and worries but just can't move past what I did yet or trust.
Thank you for all this, this was exactly what I wanted to know. Since I was lost on how to proceed with her because I still don't want to give up. I definitely think that we would benefit from taking space and working on ourselves, I will continue to work on myself until I'm ready and hopefully by then she's worked on herself with her therapist too and is ready to be healthy together again. I still need to get stuff from her, should I text her this weekend to ask to get it?click to expand
Nope. If she really needs it she will ask for it. Until then bag it and tag it. You talk care of her stuff. Keep a single item out that reminds you of her to help you refocus when you need it. You will have relapses and try to bullshit yourself out of doing what you need to do because...well you are human.
After 3 months bag and tag that item too.
Remember what you have said here and how you are feeling about all of this. Pick up journaling too to track your progress, it does wonders to keep yourself in check.
A good therapist doesn't just listen to you winne. They will teach you to tools to not need them anymore. Such as journaling. That's will be one of your future goals.
Best of luck to you.
Posted by LostthoughtsPosted by corny-capriPosted by LostthoughtsPosted by corny-capriPosted by pisceanloves
Oh boy.. You know the saying " you can't say a wrong thing to a right person"?? Yeah keep that on mind..
Besides and hear me out here, people fight all the time and say hurtful things to one another.. If she really loved you that much she would have overlooked and be forgiving, I can't get past what's been said is pure BS.. Conflicts strengthen relationship quality and overall bond..
My temper is more surface level and get over things super quickly, and I have a cancer moon lol
People really need to grow up and be less sensitive gee. Good luck with that cry baby, if she had a key she could have just gone to your place and collect her belongings, what was the point of you being present?? Just to tell you it was over?? She could have left a letter instead.
Provide her placements please.
I just can not deal with people having sky up ego, cut it already and be humble.. I bet she has a lot of leo in chart lol
Either that or she's majorly confused and doesn't know what she wants.
That's why I was stubborn about letting her ago because I thought if she really loved me we could've worked it out because I knew I would put in all my effort. That's what I thought I wondered the whole day and it was just me wishfully thinking that she might've just wanted to say that she missed me and spend time together but then just started packing everything in front of me. A part of me wonders if she would've said anything if I didn't ask what was happening to us. She was so cold right before she left she was saying that she doesn't think that she could be in another relationship because of what happened and how much I hurt her.
Her placements are:
Virgo rising, Cancer sun, Cancer moon, Leo mercury, Virgo venus, Scorpio Mars
You don't have to give up on her per say. You have to do what you said you would do. Which is fix your shit. Change.
Because nothing is going to change unless you change. Go to therapy. Pick up meditation.
Rewire and learn to express differently the things that caused the issues in your relationship that are your fault.
I can tell you how it's going to go down:
One day she will come around again physically and give it another shot BUT Until then, She will check up on you from time to time. Even some light stalking if you have social media BUT that doesn't mean she is ready to try again. She will do this because she still cares and worries about you, keep tabs on you. Avoid passive aggressive behavior and pulling on her heart strings. The thing you need to remember most her is "Actions speak louder then words."
WHEN AND IF she starts talking to you again don't bring up you guys past problems. You have familiarity with her already so starting over will be easy so longs as you don't open up old wounds. You fixing your shit will handle that over time.
She brings it up fine one day fine. You can talk about your current feelings about that not your past self's BS.
Until all that comes to pass let her go and focus on yourself...therapy and meditation ...go fix your shit.
Yes! I got a therapist yesterday who was the perfect fit and now will meet regularly. I'm going to pick up new hobbies to distract myself and just let her go for now until I get better and then when the chance comes. She just texted my friend again today to ask if they hung out with me recently, I think she definitely still cares and worries but just can't move past what I did yet or trust.
Thank you for all this, this was exactly what I wanted to know. Since I was lost on how to proceed with her because I still don't want to give up. I definitely think that we would benefit from taking space and working on ourselves, I will continue to work on myself until I'm ready and hopefully by then she's worked on herself with her therapist too and is ready to be healthy together again. I still need to get stuff from her, should I text her this weekend to ask to get it?
Nope. If she really needs it she will ask for it. Until then bag it and tag it. You talk care of her stuff. Keep a single item out that reminds you of her to help you refocus when you need it. You will have relapses and try to bullshit yourself out of doing what you need to do because...well you are human.
After 3 months bag and tag that item too.
Remember what you have said here and how you are feeling about all of this. Pick up journaling too to track your progress, it does wonders to keep yourself in check.
A good therapist doesn't just listen to you winne. They will teach you to tools to not need them anymore. Such as journaling. That's will be one of your future goals.
Best of luck to you.click to expand
Noted, that's helpful. Been journaling since yesterday actually my therapist said to write my thoughts and feelings, it's been helping a lot with processing. Really appreciate the help, it means a lot thank you.
Oh yes a missed a step. Your are putting her stuff away out of sight except on item. After 3 months you put that away to.
Posted by Raminz
You sure there isn’t someone else? Hate to see you wasting time and energy if you’re the last one to realize the ship has sailed.
I just feel like it's right and I felt like this since I met her that I knew she was the one I wanted to be with. I was so nervous about messing it up the whole time, and then I did... I get what you mean though, I'm honestly scared too if that will end up happening. I think what I will do for now is move on and see other people then see there is a chance later once I have changed and worked on myself. But it's a good reminder to be realistic and know that my chances are slim and that might be the outcome.
Posted by LiterallyStalinG
If you can't accept things are out of your hands you will only face pain. Maybe that'll snap you outta it.
Thanks dude, I think sometimes I do get caught up in fantasies and what I see playing out. I think I will move on and focus on myself for now then if the chance comes I will try later. I'm still coming to terms and processing everything.
"So even if I keep trying to get back together later on after I work on myself it won't bug her?"
You probably shouldn't "keep" trying to get together with anyone, you might end up with a restraining order lol.
You got to be extra independent and leave her alone. Whether you get back together in the future or not, it is the only logical way forward. Either she will want you when you let her breathe, or she wants you to leave her alone.. so it's the same answer for both.
Take therapy seriously. I'd like to see you learn how to communicate without being harmful regardless of what happens with her. Listen to your therapist, a lot better than you listened to the Cancer. Don't just go in it for manipulation tips lol. Don't ask for couple's therapy, she will know it's just a tactic and it's not being independent. If you start getting back together then bring it up then.
Put yourself in her shoes. Imagine someone said nasty things that hurt you. Then they said "sorry but it shouldn't matter". It matters dude and you are telling her constantly that it doesn't matter. So what happens? If it doesn't matter to you, it's gonna matter extra to her. Someone said she was "immature" but she is very much the opposite, immature Cancers will fight to the death lol.
You probably shouldn't "keep" trying to get together with anyone, you might end up with a restraining order lol.
You got to be extra independent and leave her alone. Whether you get back together in the future or not, it is the only logical way forward. Either she will want you when you let her breathe, or she wants you to leave her alone.. so it's the same answer for both.
Take therapy seriously. I'd like to see you learn how to communicate without being harmful regardless of what happens with her. Listen to your therapist, a lot better than you listened to the Cancer. Don't just go in it for manipulation tips lol. Don't ask for couple's therapy, she will know it's just a tactic and it's not being independent. If you start getting back together then bring it up then.
Put yourself in her shoes. Imagine someone said nasty things that hurt you. Then they said "sorry but it shouldn't matter". It matters dude and you are telling her constantly that it doesn't matter. So what happens? If it doesn't matter to you, it's gonna matter extra to her. Someone said she was "immature" but she is very much the opposite, immature Cancers will fight to the death lol.
Posted by Electricboogaloo
"So even if I keep trying to get back together later on after I work on myself it won't bug her?"
You probably shouldn't "keep" trying to get together with anyone, you might end up with a restraining order lol.
You got to be extra independent and leave her alone. Whether you get back together in the future or not, it is the only logical way forward. Either she will want you when you let her breathe, or she wants you to leave her alone.. so it's the same answer for both.
Take therapy seriously. I'd like to see you learn how to communicate without being harmful regardless of what happens with her. Listen to your therapist, a lot better than you listened to the Cancer. Don't just go in it for manipulation tips lol. Don't ask for couple's therapy, she will know it's just a tactic and it's not being independent. If you start getting back together then bring it up then.
Put yourself in her shoes. Imagine someone said nasty things that hurt you. Then they said "sorry but it shouldn't matter". It matters dude and you are telling her constantly that it doesn't matter. So what happens? If it doesn't matter to you, it's gonna matter extra to her. Someone said she was "immature" but she is very much the opposite, immature Cancers will fight to the death lol.
True, I think I will come to accept it I just wanted to try my hardest so I don't regret not trying.
Yeah, I will focus on myself now. Should I wait for her to reach out. She borrowed something of mine that I needed next week, so how should I ask for it back?
I will! and I think that she was mature about it too because she chose what was best and tried to let go of her feelings. She said she wanted to do what was best and not drag me along when she doesn't think that she can get past it. That's also why I love her because she's mature and she taught me a lot, but because I wasn't mature enough yet I brought her down..
Posted by RaminzPosted by corny-capriPosted by Raminz
You sure there isn’t someone else? Hate to see you wasting time and energy if you’re the last one to realize the ship has sailed.
I just feel like it's right and I felt like this since I met her that I knew she was the one I wanted to be with. I was so nervous about messing it up the whole time, and then I did... I get what you mean though, I'm honestly scared too if that will end up happening. I think what I will do for now is move on and see other people then see there is a chance later once I have changed and worked on myself. But it's a good reminder to be realistic and know that my chances are slim and that might be the outcome.
That’s good to see other people, if she wants to get back to you she will make it known.
I wouldn’t say your chances are slim. People are like boomerangs. But you may not want her back once you change.click to expand
Even though, I feel like I don't even want to see other people because the thought of that doesn't even appeal to me. I know that I will need to in order to move past it a little. True only time will tell right..
"I wasn't mature enough yet I brought her down.."
I like to hear this self-awareness. I have hope for you and I am sorry that you met at the wrong time.. it happens. And now only time can sort out what will happen now. As someone said, what you want can even change in time. Especially if you respect the processes of therapy.
I know exactly what happened with her and I know exactly how that feels. Sometimes you can't put the ketchup back in the jar. The good side is with therapy and the self-awareness you clearly have, I am pretty sure you will stop saying nasty things because it doesn't serve you.
Just be like: "Hi Cancer. I really need that thing you borrowed. Can you please let me know a good time to get it back? You can leave it outside of one of our doors if you want, I really need it for a thing next week." Nothing else.
I like to hear this self-awareness. I have hope for you and I am sorry that you met at the wrong time.. it happens. And now only time can sort out what will happen now. As someone said, what you want can even change in time. Especially if you respect the processes of therapy.
I know exactly what happened with her and I know exactly how that feels. Sometimes you can't put the ketchup back in the jar. The good side is with therapy and the self-awareness you clearly have, I am pretty sure you will stop saying nasty things because it doesn't serve you.
Just be like: "Hi Cancer. I really need that thing you borrowed. Can you please let me know a good time to get it back? You can leave it outside of one of our doors if you want, I really need it for a thing next week." Nothing else.
Posted by Electricboogaloo "I wasn't mature enough yet I brought her down.."
I like to hear this self-awareness. I have hope for you and I am sorry that you met at the wrong time.. it happens. And now only time can sort out what will happen now. As someone said, what you want can even change in time. Especially if you respect the processes of therapy.
I know exactly what happened with her and I know exactly how that feels. Sometimes you can't put the ketchup back in the jar. The good side is with therapy and the self-awareness you clearly have, I am pretty sure you will stop saying nasty things because it doesn't serve you.
Just be like: "Hi Cancer. I really need that thing you borrowed. Can you please let me know a good time to get it back? You can leave it outside of one of our doors if you want, I really need it for a thing next week." Nothing else.
I'm working on it 🙂 Yeah I thought about what would've been if we met another time I know the outcome would've been different.. But that's out of my control. What do you think would make her reconsider or do you think that she would still not be able to get past? I just want to see your perspective.
And I will suggest that when I text her later this week. This helped a lot to see what her thought process was like and it definitely gave me more closure.
Posted by LiterallyStalinGPosted by corny-capriPosted by LiterallyStalinG
If you can't accept things are out of your hands you will only face pain. Maybe that'll snap you outta it.
Thanks dude, I think sometimes I do get caught up in fantasies and what I see playing out. I think I will move on and focus on myself for now then if the chance comes I will try later. I'm still coming to terms and processing everything.
It's a process. Don't skimp out on things. The pain is where growth lives. Just don't lose yourself in it by poisoning the well.click to expand
Thank you dude! Really appreciate it.
"What do you think would make her reconsider or do you think that she would still not be able to get past? I just want to see your perspective. "
Sure, Jan lol.
She needs time to forget and for you to be independent so you don't keep piling on. Telling her that her pain doesn't matter because "love" is a pile on. Pressuring her to be with you is a pile on. Asking for your stuff back is piling on as well if you are doing it to force her to see you, that's why I suggested telling her she can leave it outside of the door. I think you keep doing and saying things to make it worse because you are trying a bunch of tactics instead of being genuinely empathetic.. Cancers do not appreciate that shit at all.
Dunno why you didn't just say: "You wanting to move backwards is painful and scary for me because I don't really want to lose you but of course I can't stop you." and leave it at that, why all the panicked strategies? They don't work for ANYONE. They push away even the most "woke" people. That's a question for you and your therapist.
It also really depends on the kind of stuff you were saying. Some things partners have said to me will never be forgotten and although thinking of it no longer hurts me there is no way in hell I am ever signing up for more of that.
Sure, Jan lol.
She needs time to forget and for you to be independent so you don't keep piling on. Telling her that her pain doesn't matter because "love" is a pile on. Pressuring her to be with you is a pile on. Asking for your stuff back is piling on as well if you are doing it to force her to see you, that's why I suggested telling her she can leave it outside of the door. I think you keep doing and saying things to make it worse because you are trying a bunch of tactics instead of being genuinely empathetic.. Cancers do not appreciate that shit at all.
Dunno why you didn't just say: "You wanting to move backwards is painful and scary for me because I don't really want to lose you but of course I can't stop you." and leave it at that, why all the panicked strategies? They don't work for ANYONE. They push away even the most "woke" people. That's a question for you and your therapist.
It also really depends on the kind of stuff you were saying. Some things partners have said to me will never be forgotten and although thinking of it no longer hurts me there is no way in hell I am ever signing up for more of that.
Posted by Electricboogaloo
"What do you think would make her reconsider or do you think that she would still not be able to get past? I just want to see your perspective. "
Sure, Jan lol.
She needs time to forget and for you to be independent so you don't keep piling on. Telling her that her pain doesn't matter because "love" is a pile on. Pressuring her to be with you is a pile on. Asking for your stuff back is piling on as well if you are doing it to force her to see you, that's why I suggested telling her she can leave it outside of the door. I think you keep doing and saying things to make it worse because you are trying a bunch of tactics instead of being genuinely empathetic.. Cancers do not appreciate that shit at all.
Dunno why you didn't just say: "You wanting to move backwards is painful and scary for me because I don't really want to lose you but of course I can't stop you." and leave it at that, why all the panicked strategies? They don't work for ANYONE. They push away even the most "woke" people. That's a question for you and your therapist.
It also really depends on the kind of stuff you were saying. Some things partners have said to me will never be forgotten and although thinking of it no longer hurts me there is no way in hell I am ever signing up for more of that.
Yeah after I reflected more yesterday I realized that I hurt her more than I thought not only just verbally but mentally and in ways that were messed up. I'm even having trouble forgiving myself and didn't want to acknowledge things at first because I was angry at myself for hurting her many times. I hurt her so much that the least I can do right now is to give her peace by letting her go and move on.
Yesterday one of my friends that she was texting to check up on me asked if she would ever want to talk to me and she said she doesn't want to talk because she thinks that all I would try and do is to convince her to get back and that because she tried talking to her other ex after the breakup last time and it didn't end well. I think she is still processing the hurt as she also said again to my friend that I hurt her more than she thought, which is true. That gave me some closure because she wasn't contradicting herself anymore.
I hope that I can still be in her life and friends when we move on because we have the same friend circle and interests and she was my best friend. I'm going to continue working on myself and move on. I'm starting to accept that there may not be a chance anymore, but if down the line there is I won't hesitate to take it. I probably won't contact her until she reaches out and probably have my friend go and get my stuff for me. Thank you for all the advice, I really appreciate having this thread. It made me processed what happened and listen to other perspectives so I could put myself in her shoes more and really understand what happened.
Posted by corny-capriPosted by pisceanlovesPosted by corny-capriPosted by pisceanloves
Oh boy.. You know the saying " you can't say a wrong thing to a right person"?? Yeah keep that on mind..
Besides and hear me out here, people fight all the time and say hurtful things to one another.. If she really loved you that much she would have overlooked and be forgiving, I can't get past what's been said is pure BS.. Conflicts strengthen relationship quality and overall bond..
My temper is more surface level and get over things super quickly, and I have a cancer moon lol
People really need to grow up and be less sensitive gee. Good luck with that cry baby, if she had a key she could have just gone to your place and collect her belongings, what was the point of you being present?? Just to tell you it was over?? She could have left a letter instead.
Provide her placements please.
I just can not deal with people having sky up ego, cut it already and be humble.. I bet she has a lot of leo in chart lol
Either that or she's majorly confused and doesn't know what she wants.
That's why I was stubborn about letting her ago because I thought if she really loved me we could've worked it out because I knew I would put in all my effort. That's what I thought I wondered the whole day and it was just me wishfully thinking that she might've just wanted to say that she missed me and spend time together but then just started packing everything in front of me. A part of me wonders if she would've said anything if I didn't ask what was happening to us. She was so cold right before she left she was saying that she doesn't think that she could be in another relationship because of what happened and how much I hurt her.
Her placements are:
Virgo rising, Cancer sun, Cancer moon, Leo mercury, Virgo venus, Scorpio Mars
What exactly happened between you guys??
I crossed her boundaries by saying stuff that hurt her without meaning to, and I didn't get a chance to reflect and get help on how to communicate with her. That went on until she just decided that she's had enough i think..click to expand
She sounds way too complicated, is she even worth it? Does she bring anything to the table?
Posted by pisceanlovesPosted by corny-capriPosted by pisceanlovesPosted by corny-capriPosted by pisceanloves
Oh boy.. You know the saying " you can't say a wrong thing to a right person"?? Yeah keep that on mind..
Besides and hear me out here, people fight all the time and say hurtful things to one another.. If she really loved you that much she would have overlooked and be forgiving, I can't get past what's been said is pure BS.. Conflicts strengthen relationship quality and overall bond..
My temper is more surface level and get over things super quickly, and I have a cancer moon lol
People really need to grow up and be less sensitive gee. Good luck with that cry baby, if she had a key she could have just gone to your place and collect her belongings, what was the point of you being present?? Just to tell you it was over?? She could have left a letter instead.
Provide her placements please.
I just can not deal with people having sky up ego, cut it already and be humble.. I bet she has a lot of leo in chart lol
Either that or she's majorly confused and doesn't know what she wants.
That's why I was stubborn about letting her ago because I thought if she really loved me we could've worked it out because I knew I would put in all my effort. That's what I thought I wondered the whole day and it was just me wishfully thinking that she might've just wanted to say that she missed me and spend time together but then just started packing everything in front of me. A part of me wonders if she would've said anything if I didn't ask what was happening to us. She was so cold right before she left she was saying that she doesn't think that she could be in another relationship because of what happened and how much I hurt her.
Her placements are:
Virgo rising, Cancer sun, Cancer moon, Leo mercury, Virgo venus, Scorpio Mars
What exactly happened between you guys??
I crossed her boundaries by saying stuff that hurt her without meaning to, and I didn't get a chance to reflect and get help on how to communicate with her. That went on until she just decided that she's had enough i think..
She sounds way too complicated, is she even worth it? Does she bring anything to the table?click to expand
Yeah to me at the start before our mental health got worse we were so healthy for each other. We both connected so deeply emotionally, mentally, and physically. She nurtured me and showed me how to open myself up to love and to be more in touch with my emotions, while I taught her to be more flexible and open to new things. We both like similar things but do it in different ways which make us compliment each other. We also motivated each other to be productive creatively and work-wise before she dropped out of college. Everything felt mutual and we had a little family with the two dogs. We also had the same living style , which made it easy for us to cohabitate it was just the lack of space and my insecurity that got to us.
Posted by corny-capri
Continued from the previous post where my Cancer girlfriend (now ex girlfriend) wanted to move and stay together...
So turns out that after two days she texted me saying that she forgot things at my apartment and asked when I would be there, and when I asked why she said she wanted me to let her in and say hi (this was when she had keys to my apartment). I had a gut feeling something was up. When she came and I immediately felt something had changed that she turned cold and didn't say much except for hi, and I was helping her pack until I realized she was packing everything that was left that was hers. I didn't say anything until after an hour I had asked her what was going on with us when she finally sat next to me on the other side of the couch.
She told me that she had a change of heart and decided that she was too hurt and doesn't know if she can get over the things I've said that hurt her. She said that she tried but doesn't know and kept saying she can't even though she loved me. The whole time I felt like she was contradicting herself and asked her if she loved me why not give me another chance because I also love her. I tried to convince her that I could change and that I wanted to see a therapist and if she could wait to see that I will get better and not hurt her again. But she kept saying that she can't be there to get hurt again even though I said I won't hurt her and if I do again we could end things. Me being a stubborn Capricorn was still trying to convince her to stay we were hugging the whole time I asked if I could kiss her good bye and we kissed twice and the first time she said I don't think I can kiss I thought I was ready but I wasn't but she still did it again. What made me stubborn was when she said I love you back twice when I said it and she even ended up saying "I don't want to leave" at some point and then kept saying "I can't" and "I need to leave".
I think she's really hurt and confused and is retreating because she didn't know what to do and seeing me hurt also was hurting her (she told me that she couldn't stay at my apartment and see me being sad and trying to convince her to stay like this ). She told me that I'm the only one that's she's truly loved in all of her relationships so maybe there's a chance and I kept asking if we could just be on a break and if we could get back together. She kept saying she can't promise anything, but maybe. She just kept saying she was hurt the whole time and that she tried and I felt like I didn't even have a decision or a say on what would happen to us. I was so confused because she told me and a close friend of mine that helped her move that she really wants it to work and to keep trying. She posted on her ig story a quote about how over-thinking kills, I can't help wondering if she's trying to give me a sign.
I know that I crossed the line and really messed up, but I regret it so much I want to make it up to her and make her realize that I can change.. how do I go about this? I know that once Cancers are hurt and trust is broken they may never look back so I want to know how I can slowly build trust again and maybe get her back. I don't want to risk waiting too long and for her to have moved on already. We have close friends and I'm still keeping in touch with her twin sister would that help me convince her? At the end, the decision is up to her so I really want to make the right move and not mess it up again especially now when she has her guard up.
Just give her some space. Let her feel your complete absence for 3-4 days. Then slowly, try to do friendship with her, and let her speak up her issues, slowly try to assure her with the things she asks, ask her what she needs, and create an emotional connection with her first. Let her feel safe around you, and let her feel safe and confident that you will not hurt her again, trust building is a slow process, but a rewarding one. Trust breaking is an instant process, and an irreparable one! So, don't pressure things, but instead assure her slowly, following with creating her feel emotional safety with you, and then taking things forward. Don't act too needy, give her little, little space in between to think, and then let her also put some efforts, in this way relationship gets stronger, and you can get back her, after you created an understanding between you both, because cancer also craves to be understood, and to understand!
Posted by smiley_smilesPosted by corny-capri
Continued from the previous post where my Cancer girlfriend (now ex girlfriend) wanted to move and stay together...
So turns out that after two days she texted me saying that she forgot things at my apartment and asked when I would be there, and when I asked why she said she wanted me to let her in and say hi (this was when she had keys to my apartment). I had a gut feeling something was up. When she came and I immediately felt something had changed that she turned cold and didn't say much except for hi, and I was helping her pack until I realized she was packing everything that was left that was hers. I didn't say anything until after an hour I had asked her what was going on with us when she finally sat next to me on the other side of the couch.
She told me that she had a change of heart and decided that she was too hurt and doesn't know if she can get over the things I've said that hurt her. She said that she tried but doesn't know and kept saying she can't even though she loved me. The whole time I felt like she was contradicting herself and asked her if she loved me why not give me another chance because I also love her. I tried to convince her that I could change and that I wanted to see a therapist and if she could wait to see that I will get better and not hurt her again. But she kept saying that she can't be there to get hurt again even though I said I won't hurt her and if I do again we could end things. Me being a stubborn Capricorn was still trying to convince her to stay we were hugging the whole time I asked if I could kiss her good bye and we kissed twice and the first time she said I don't think I can kiss I thought I was ready but I wasn't but she still did it again. What made me stubborn was when she said I love you back twice when I said it and she even ended up saying "I don't want to leave" at some point and then kept saying "I can't" and "I need to leave".
I think she's really hurt and confused and is retreating because she didn't know what to do and seeing me hurt also was hurting her (she told me that she couldn't stay at my apartment and see me being sad and trying to convince her to stay like this ). She told me that I'm the only one that's she's truly loved in all of her relationships so maybe there's a chance and I kept asking if we could just be on a break and if we could get back together. She kept saying she can't promise anything, but maybe. She just kept saying she was hurt the whole time and that she tried and I felt like I didn't even have a decision or a say on what would happen to us. I was so confused because she told me and a close friend of mine that helped her move that she really wants it to work and to keep trying. She posted on her ig story a quote about how over-thinking kills, I can't help wondering if she's trying to give me a sign.
I know that I crossed the line and really messed up, but I regret it so much I want to make it up to her and make her realize that I can change.. how do I go about this? I know that once Cancers are hurt and trust is broken they may never look back so I want to know how I can slowly build trust again and maybe get her back. I don't want to risk waiting too long and for her to have moved on already. We have close friends and I'm still keeping in touch with her twin sister would that help me convince her? At the end, the decision is up to her so I really want to make the right move and not mess it up again especially now when she has her guard up.
Just give her some space. Let her feel your complete absence for 3-4 days. Then slowly, try to do friendship with her, and let her speak up her issues, slowly try to assure her with the things she asks, ask her what she needs, and create an emotional connection with her first. Let her feel safe around you, and let her feel safe and confident that you will not hurt her again, trust building is a slow process, but a rewarding one. Trust breaking is an instant process, and an irreparable one! So, don't pressure things, but instead assure her slowly, following with creating her feel emotional safety with you, and then taking things forward. Don't act too needy, give her little, little space in between to think, and then let her also put some efforts, in this way relationship gets stronger, and you can get back her, after you created an understanding between you both, because cancer also craves to be understood, and to understand!click to expand
I haven't contacted her since 5 days ago and then this weekend we went to a mutual friend's live music event because the mutual friend invited me (she didn't know we broke up but I thought she did) and we ran into each other. One of my friends that she became close with ended up talking to her and he told her we didn't know that she would be there and she was saying that it was fine. We ignored each other and she was stressed pacing in and out of the venue while my friends and I were dancing and just enjoying the night. She left with her friends an hour after and texted one of my friends that were there if she could call them and that what I did was messed up. I think that she thought that I planned to run into her to make things worse and now she unfollowed me on all our socials and added the song "Fuck You" by Lily Allen to our old shared playlist. She says that she still eventually wants something platonic but doesn't think she can be romantic. She kept saying that I hurt her more than she thought again. She's been texting my friend every day of the week almost to pick up a couple of things from my place that she forgot and drop them off at hers.
I think that I should not contact her until she contacts me first, what do you think? It's still only been a week since we broke it off I feel like she's on the second stage of grief; anger and is trying to replace love with hate to get over me...
Posted by corny-capriPosted by smiley_smilesPosted by corny-capri
Continued from the previous post where my Cancer girlfriend (now ex girlfriend) wanted to move and stay together...
So turns out that after two days she texted me saying that she forgot things at my apartment and asked when I would be there, and when I asked why she said she wanted me to let her in and say hi (this was when she had keys to my apartment). I had a gut feeling something was up. When she came and I immediately felt something had changed that she turned cold and didn't say much except for hi, and I was helping her pack until I realized she was packing everything that was left that was hers. I didn't say anything until after an hour I had asked her what was going on with us when she finally sat next to me on the other side of the couch.
She told me that she had a change of heart and decided that she was too hurt and doesn't know if she can get over the things I've said that hurt her. She said that she tried but doesn't know and kept saying she can't even though she loved me. The whole time I felt like she was contradicting herself and asked her if she loved me why not give me another chance because I also love her. I tried to convince her that I could change and that I wanted to see a therapist and if she could wait to see that I will get better and not hurt her again. But she kept saying that she can't be there to get hurt again even though I said I won't hurt her and if I do again we could end things. Me being a stubborn Capricorn was still trying to convince her to stay we were hugging the whole time I asked if I could kiss her good bye and we kissed twice and the first time she said I don't think I can kiss I thought I was ready but I wasn't but she still did it again. What made me stubborn was when she said I love you back twice when I said it and she even ended up saying "I don't want to leave" at some point and then kept saying "I can't" and "I need to leave".
I think she's really hurt and confused and is retreating because she didn't know what to do and seeing me hurt also was hurting her (she told me that she couldn't stay at my apartment and see me being sad and trying to convince her to stay like this ). She told me that I'm the only one that's she's truly loved in all of her relationships so maybe there's a chance and I kept asking if we could just be on a break and if we could get back together. She kept saying she can't promise anything, but maybe. She just kept saying she was hurt the whole time and that she tried and I felt like I didn't even have a decision or a say on what would happen to us. I was so confused because she told me and a close friend of mine that helped her move that she really wants it to work and to keep trying. She posted on her ig story a quote about how over-thinking kills, I can't help wondering if she's trying to give me a sign.
I know that I crossed the line and really messed up, but I regret it so much I want to make it up to her and make her realize that I can change.. how do I go about this? I know that once Cancers are hurt and trust is broken they may never look back so I want to know how I can slowly build trust again and maybe get her back. I don't want to risk waiting too long and for her to have moved on already. We have close friends and I'm still keeping in touch with her twin sister would that help me convince her? At the end, the decision is up to her so I really want to make the right move and not mess it up again especially now when she has her guard up.
Just give her some space. Let her feel your complete absence for 3-4 days. Then slowly, try to do friendship with her, and let her speak up her issues, slowly try to assure her with the things she asks, ask her what she needs, and create an emotional connection with her first. Let her feel safe around you, and let her feel safe and confident that you will not hurt her again, trust building is a slow process, but a rewarding one. Trust breaking is an instant process, and an irreparable one! So, don't pressure things, but instead assure her slowly, following with creating her feel emotional safety with you, and then taking things forward. Don't act too needy, give her little, little space in between to think, and then let her also put some efforts, in this way relationship gets stronger, and you can get back her, after you created an understanding between you both, because cancer also craves to be understood, and to understand!
I haven't contacted her since 5 days ago and then this weekend we went to a mutual friend's live music event because the mutual friend invited me (she didn't know we broke up but I thought she did) and we ran into each other. One of my friends that she became close with ended up talking to her and he told her we didn't know that she would be there and she was saying that it was fine. We ignored each other and she was stressed pacing in and out of the venue while my friends and I were dancing and just enjoying the night. She left with her friends an hour after and texted one of my friends that were there if she could call them and that what I did was messed up. I think that she thought that I planned to run into her to make things worse and now she unfollowed me on all our socials and added the song "Fuck You" by Lily Allen to our old shared playlist. She says that she still eventually wants something platonic but doesn't think she can be romantic. She kept saying that I hurt her more than she thought again. She's been texting my friend every day of the week almost to pick up a couple of things from my place that she forgot and drop them off at hers.
I think that I should not contact her until she contacts me first, what do you think? It's still only been a week since we broke it off I feel like she's on the second stage of grief; anger and is trying to replace love with hate to get over me...click to expand
What she doing isn't justifying for you. As much as she cares about her emotions, she should also care for you. Or else you have one option, use the friend of yours who is using as mutual and to whom she is contacting about you, to tell her that she can work out with you again. Your friend should talk everything in favour of you and should support you while talking about you to her. He needs to make her feel you are the one who cares for her a lot. As yourself, just ask her what you can do for her so that she will start trusting you and be with you again. And then do all the things she says. Then only she have a chance of changing her mind. Instead of guessing what she wants from your relationship, ask her what she would like to get from your relationship to be with you. And try getting her emotionally connected to you. This is the only way for you to be on her top list. Cancer is driven by emotions. If you can provide her with emotional safety and undying trust she seeks, she will fall head over heels for you, and even more. You will become a king for her. It all depends on how carefully you handle her mood swings and respect her decisions and not push her too much, but make her understand how much caring and true you are! This is the way you can get her back and may even get an never ending relation.
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So turns out that after two days she texted me saying that she forgot things at my apartment and asked when I would be there, and when I asked why she said she wanted me to let her in and say hi (this was when she had keys to my apartment). I had a gut feeling something was up. When she came and I immediately felt something had changed that she turned cold and didn't say much except for hi, and I was helping her pack until I realized she was packing everything that was left that was hers. I didn't say anything until after an hour I had asked her what was going on with us when she finally sat next to me on the other side of the couch.
She told me that she had a change of heart and decided that she was too hurt and doesn't know if she can get over the things I've said that hurt her. She said that she tried but doesn't know and kept saying she can't even though she loved me. The whole time I felt like she was contradicting herself and asked her if she loved me why not give me another chance because I also love her. I tried to convince her that I could change and that I wanted to see a therapist and if she could wait to see that I will get better and not hurt her again. But she kept saying that she can't be there to get hurt again even though I said I won't hurt her and if I do again we could end things. Me being a stubborn Capricorn was still trying to convince her to stay we were hugging the whole time I asked if I could kiss her good bye and we kissed twice and the first time she said I don't think I can kiss I thought I was ready but I wasn't but she still did it again. What made me stubborn was when she said I love you back twice when I said it and she even ended up saying "I don't want to leave" at some point and then kept saying "I can't" and "I need to leave".
I think she's really hurt and confused and is retreating because she didn't know what to do and seeing me hurt also was hurting her (she told me that she couldn't stay at my apartment and see me being sad and trying to convince her to stay like this ). She told me that I'm the only one that's she's truly loved in all of her relationships so maybe there's a chance and I kept asking if we could just be on a break and if we could get back together. She kept saying she can't promise anything, but maybe. She just kept saying she was hurt the whole time and that she tried and I felt like I didn't even have a decision or a say on what would happen to us. I was so confused because she told me and a close friend of mine that helped her move that she really wants it to work and to keep trying. She posted on her ig story a quote about how over-thinking kills, I can't help wondering if she's trying to give me a sign.
I know that I crossed the line and really messed up, but I regret it so much I want to make it up to her and make her realize that I can change.. how do I go about this? I know that once Cancers are hurt and trust is broken they may never look back so I want to know how I can slowly build trust again and maybe get her back. I don't want to risk waiting too long and for her to have moved on already. We have close friends and I'm still keeping in touch with her twin sister would that help me convince her? At the end, the decision is up to her so I really want to make the right move and not mess it up again especially now when she has her guard up.