Cappies name some reasons why...

You would go silent after someone expresses their feelings to you ?

I think the silence would be if the feelings were not expected. So some reasons could be:

1) Need to process

2) Need to think about what the outcomes would of reciprocating and what the future would look like after that

3) Not ready for the same thing

What's the story though?

That depends on a lot of things... It could be for various reasons, I would ignore it if I wasn't ready for it or if I didn't feel the same way.

Posted by stillstillwater

I think the silence would be if the feelings were not expected. So some reasons could be:

1) Need to process
2) Need to think about what the outcomes would of reciprocating and what the future would look like after that
3) Not ready for the same thing

What's the story though?

Lol the story is a very long one that I’m sure some of the Caps on this forum still remember, but we are not together, have never been together, just this weird attraction and friendship for 2 years of him supposedly having feelings but never making a move because of his reasons (we work together, he has never dated someone with a kid so he doesn’t know what the relationship would be like with my son’s father, being hurt badly before) you know excuses and 2 year of mixed signals.



However, the most recent development is him asking if me if he should move to Colorado within a month and me pushing him to do it because honestly I think he would be happy there and get out of the rut he has been stuck in for years and I honestly think he will go out and finally meet someone there and heal his heart. I can tell he is ready and I know he is ready for a companion because about 2 months ago he took me out to lunch for secretary’s day something he hadn’t done in a long time (Just to be nice) and he told me he was ready to have kids, but he won’t date or do what it takes to make that happen. I teased him and said well when a mommy and daddy get together, he better get on that, you know that whole bit. I accidently let him back into my heart after trying to let him go by dating an Aquarius man that I attracted because I was broken hearted from Cap I know so stupid of me and it is something I will never do again.



But anyways he had to give an answer soon about a job and I told him he should take it. Rent his condo out and go for a year if he likes it he can sell his condo and stay. He was like why don’t you live there and you can pay, me rent. In my head I’m thinking yeah right and be surrounded by your energy all day long I don’t think so, but I can tell he really thought about it. So after I left work I sent him a text saying “No seriously though I just want the best for you and I think that if Colorado would make you happy you should definitely go. You spend so much time working why not go explore while you do it also who knows what other opportunities may open up for you there. Like I told you a couple of weeks ago you have everything you need to be great anywhere fuck a piece of paper you can get a piece of paper anywhere (he thinks he has to get his surveyor’s license here before he does anything).” He said Thank you. I would like to do it but it seems this would be a little fast. I’ll think about it. “



Then like a dumb ass the vulnerable fairies touched my spirit and I was vulnerable for the first time in a year. I keep telling myself that I said it because I didn’t want to feel like I was deceiving him in anyway because I think he values my opinion, but I think I said it because I really needed to. I said “And OK I Will be honest I guess maybe A part of me is being a little selfish about Colorado because I know that I would be able to finally release you. Not to get sappy on you but I think you should do what makes you happy Fear is the killer of all light.”



He never responded! But then the next day before work I was running and he pulled up on me in my car and was like why you trying to kick me out of the state and I was hurt so I said because you need to leave this place now leave me alone im running. So after I had showered and came down stairs to work I was talking to another co-worker and he walks up and teases me telling the other co-worker that I told him to leave him alone because I was running then we have this quiet stare down conversation because both of us know I was vulnerable the night before and he never responded! Sigh sorry so long

Men! 😡

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by stillstillwater

I think the silence would be if the feelings were not expected. So some reasons could be:

1) Need to process
2) Need to think about what the outcomes would of reciprocating and what the future would look like after that
3) Not ready for the same thing

What's the story though?

Lol the story is a very long one that I’m sure some of the Caps on this forum still remember, but we are not together, have never been together, just this weird attraction and friendship for 2 years of him supposedly having feelings but never making a move because of his reasons (we work together, he has never dated someone with a kid so he doesn’t know what the relationship would be like with my son’s father, being hurt badly before) you know excuses and 2 year of mixed signals.

However, the most recent development is him asking if me if he should move to Colorado within a month and me pushing him to do it because honestly I think he would be happy there and get out of the rut he has been stuck in for years and I honestly think he will go out and finally meet someone there and heal his heart. I can tell he is ready and I know he is ready for a companion because about 2 months ago he took me out to lunch for secretary’s day something he hadn’t done in a long time (Just to be nice) and he told me he was ready to have kids, but he won’t date or do what it takes to make that happen. I teased him and said well when a mommy and daddy get together, he better get on that, you know that whole bit. I accidently let him back into my heart after trying to let him go by dating an Aquarius man that I attracted because I was broken hearted from Cap I know so stupid of me and it is something I will never do again.

But anyways he had to give an answer soon about a job and I told him he should take it. Rent his condo out and go for a year if he likes it he can sell his condo and stay. He was like why don’t you live there and you can pay, me rent. In my head I’m thinking yeah right and be surrounded by your energy all day long I don’t think so, but I can tell he really thought about it. So after I left work I sent him a text saying “No seriously though I just want the best for you and I think that if Colorado would make you happy you should definitely go. You spend so much time working why not go explore while you do it also who knows what other opportunities may open up for you there. Like I told you a couple of weeks ago you have everything you need to be great anywhere treetrunk a piece of paper you can get a piece of paper anywhere (he thinks he has to get his surveyor’s license here before he does anything).” He said Thank you. I would like to do it but it seems this would be a little fast. I’ll think about it. “

Then like a dumb ass the vulnerable fairies touched my spirit and I was vulnerable for the first time in a year. I keep telling myself that I said it because I didn’t want to feel like I was deceiving him in anyway because I think he values my opinion, but I think I said it because I really needed to. I said “And OK I Will be honest I guess maybe A part of me is being a little selfish about Colorado because I know that I would be able to finally release you. Not to get sappy on you but I think you should do what makes you happy Fear is the killer of all light.”

He never responded! But then the next day before work I was running and he pulled up on me in my car and was like why you trying to kick me out of the state and I was hurt so I said because you need to leave this place now leave me alone im running. So after I had showered and came down stairs to work I was talking to another co-worker and he walks up and teases me telling the other co-worker that I told him to leave him alone because I was running then we have this quiet stare down conversation because both of us know I was vulnerable the night before and he never responded! Sigh sorry so long click to expand

click to expand

That was pretty detailed so helps in understanding the situation. I know the feeling just trying to find a way to explain it. With Caps you have to play hard ball and be genuine at the same time. They don't respond well to pressure BUT if you know how they feel and they need a nudge that nudge can make a world of difference. For example:

Let's say you KNOW that Cap guy likes you but he's hesitant to ask you out (for whatever reason). So pressuring would be like, "soo you know i've been thinking about you and it would be really nice if you asked me out"..."when will you ask me out..." "i'd love ot see you just waiting for you to make that move..." That wouldn't work well because that's like emotional pressure. BUT if you angle up the friend side and say, "Hey stop messing around, let's go get something to eat. Pick me up at 8pm on Friday, ok? Cool see you then". It's like taking the pressure off them but at the same time nudging the relationship forward. Like you have to be SASSY with them with a sense of humor lolll if that makes sense.

In the scenario you painted like there is a lot of tension between you two for those years and when you were vulnerable and open that just put pressure on him to respond without having a way out. Caps can be direct as long as they have a way to save face and may be use humor to get out of that awkward exchange of emotions/thoughts.

It's like you share your feelings but in a direct way with a sense of humor.

Your situation seems like there are some feelings but a lot of obstacles. So someone needs to take the reigns and decide what it is. I think it was really cool of you to let him go and want the best for him..and at the same time express that it will help you move on too. But you have to be really honest with your own feelings that whether you said that ot nudge the relationship forward and get a reaction from him or you truly feel that way. I mean it could be both, you just have to know what your angle is.

Also if you rent out his condo will there be any benefit to you from that?? Meaning a nice discount? 🙂 Or else why would you rent it except for him benefiting him that he gets to rent it to someone he knows/reliable. But renting his condo will def keep that connection between you two as it gives excuses to start conversation etc.

Not having the same feelings

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by stillstillwater

I think the silence would be if the feelings were not expected. So some reasons could be:

1) Need to process
2) Need to think about what the outcomes would of reciprocating and what the future would look like after that
3) Not ready for the same thing

What's the story though?

Lol the story is a very long one that I’m sure some of the Caps on this forum still remember, but we are not together, have never been together, just this weird attraction and friendship for 2 years of him supposedly having feelings but never making a move because of his reasons (we work together, he has never dated someone with a kid so he doesn’t know what the relationship would be like with my son’s father, being hurt badly before) you know excuses and 2 year of mixed signals.

However, the most recent development is him asking if me if he should move to Colorado within a month and me pushing him to do it because honestly I think he would be happy there and get out of the rut he has been stuck in for years and I honestly think he will go out and finally meet someone there and heal his heart. I can tell he is ready and I know he is ready for a companion because about 2 months ago he took me out to lunch for secretary’s day something he hadn’t done in a long time (Just to be nice) and he told me he was ready to have kids, but he won’t date or do what it takes to make that happen. I teased him and said well when a mommy and daddy get together, he better get on that, you know that whole bit. I accidently let him back into my heart after trying to let him go by dating an Aquarius man that I attracted because I was broken hearted from Cap I know so stupid of me and it is something I will never do again.

But anyways he had to give an answer soon about a job and I told him he should take it. Rent his condo out and go for a year if he likes it he can sell his condo and stay. He was like why don’t you live there and you can pay, me rent. In my head I’m thinking yeah right and be surrounded by your energy all day long I don’t think so, but I can tell he really thought about it. So after I left work I sent him a text saying “No seriously though I just want the best for you and I think that if Colorado would make you happy you should definitely go. You spend so much time working why not go explore while you do it also who knows what other opportunities may open up for you there. Like I told you a couple of weeks ago you have everything you need to be great anywhere treetrunk a piece of paper you can get a piece of paper anywhere (he thinks he has to get his surveyor’s license here before he does anything).” He said Thank you. I would like to do it but it seems this would be a little fast. I’ll think about it. “

Then like a dumb ass the vulnerable fairies touched my spirit and I was vulnerable for the first time in a year. I keep telling myself that I said it because I didn’t want to feel like I was deceiving him in anyway because I think he values my opinion, but I think I said it because I really needed to. I said “And OK I Will be honest I guess maybe A part of me is being a little selfish about Colorado because I know that I would be able to finally release you. Not to get sappy on you but I think you should do what makes you happy Fear is the killer of all light.”

He never responded! But then the next day before work I was running and he pulled up on me in my car and was like why you trying to kick me out of the state and I was hurt so I said because you need to leave this place now leave me alone im running. So after I had showered and came down stairs to work I was talking to another co-worker and he walks up and teases me telling the other co-worker that I told him to leave him alone because I was running then we have this quiet stare down conversation because both of us know I was vulnerable the night before and he never responded! Sigh sorry so long click to expand

That was pretty detailed so helps in understanding the situation. I know the feeling just trying to find a way to explain it. With Caps you have to play hard ball and be genuine at the same time. They don't respond well to pressure BUT if you know how they feel and they need a nudge that nudge can make a world of difference. For example:
Let's say you KNOW that Cap guy likes you but he's hesitant to ask you out (for whatever reason). So pressuring would be like, "soo you know i've been thinking about you and it would be really nice if you asked me out"..."when will you ask me out..." "i'd love ot see you just waiting for you to make that move..." That wouldn't work well because that's like emotional pressure. BUT if you angle up the friend side and say, "Hey stop messing around, let's go get something to eat. Pick me up at 8pm on Friday, ok? Cool see you then". It's like taking the pressure off them but at the same time nudging the relationship forward. Like you have to be SASSY with them with a sense of humor lolll if that makes sense.

In the scenario you painted like there is a lot of tension between you two for those years and when you were vulnerable and open that just put pressure on him to respond without having a way out. Caps can be direct as long as they have a way to save face and may be use humor to get out of that awkward exchange of emotions/thoughts.

It's like you share your feelings but in a direct way with a sense of humor.

Your situation seems like there are some feelings but a lot of obstacles. So someone needs to take the reigns and decide what it is. I think it was really cool of you to let him go and want the best for him..and at the same time express that it will help you move on too. But you have to be really honest with your own feelings that whether you said that ot nudge the relationship forward and get a reaction from him or you truly feel that way. I mean it could be both, you just have to know what your angle is.

Also if you rent out his condo will there be any benefit to you from that?? Meaning a nice discount? Or else why would you rent it except for him benefiting him that he gets to rent it to someone he knows/reliable. But renting his condo will def keep that connection between you two as it gives excuses to start conversation etc.
click to expand

click to expand

I really want another job not only because of him but I hate where I work if I could find another job it would help me move on because he wouldn't be stopping by my desk everyday I'd miss him but it would be easier too

Lol him........ still!?

Posted by pinkbird03
Lol him........ still!?

Girl yes believe me I hate myself for it. Like why

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by stillstillwater

I think the silence would be if the feelings were not expected. So some reasons could be:

1) Need to process
2) Need to think about what the outcomes would of reciprocating and what the future would look like after that
3) Not ready for the same thing

What's the story though?

Lol the story is a very long one that I’m sure some of the Caps on this forum still remember, but we are not together, have never been together, just this weird attraction and friendship for 2 years of him supposedly having feelings but never making a move because of his reasons (we work together, he has never dated someone with a kid so he doesn’t know what the relationship would be like with my son’s father, being hurt badly before) you know excuses and 2 year of mixed signals.

However, the most recent development is him asking if me if he should move to Colorado within a month and me pushing him to do it because honestly I think he would be happy there and get out of the rut he has been stuck in for years and I honestly think he will go out and finally meet someone there and heal his heart. I can tell he is ready and I know he is ready for a companion because about 2 months ago he took me out to lunch for secretary’s day something he hadn’t done in a long time (Just to be nice) and he told me he was ready to have kids, but he won’t date or do what it takes to make that happen. I teased him and said well when a mommy and daddy get together, he better get on that, you know that whole bit. I accidently let him back into my heart after trying to let him go by dating an Aquarius man that I attracted because I was broken hearted from Cap I know so stupid of me and it is something I will never do again.

But anyways he had to give an answer soon about a job and I told him he should take it. Rent his condo out and go for a year if he likes it he can sell his condo and stay. He was like why don’t you live there and you can pay, me rent. In my head I’m thinking yeah right and be surrounded by your energy all day long I don’t think so, but I can tell he really thought about it. So after I left work I sent him a text saying “No seriously though I just want the best for you and I think that if Colorado would make you happy you should definitely go. You spend so much time working why not go explore while you do it also who knows what other opportunities may open up for you there. Like I told you a couple of weeks ago you have everything you need to be great anywhere treetrunk a piece of paper you can get a piece of paper anywhere (he thinks he has to get his surveyor’s license here before he does anything).” He said Thank you. I would like to do it but it seems this would be a little fast. I’ll think about it. “

Then like a dumb ass the vulnerable fairies touched my spirit and I was vulnerable for the first time in a year. I keep telling myself that I said it because I didn’t want to feel like I was deceiving him in anyway because I think he values my opinion, but I think I said it because I really needed to. I said “And OK I Will be honest I guess maybe A part of me is being a little selfish about Colorado because I know that I would be able to finally release you. Not to get sappy on you but I think you should do what makes you happy Fear is the killer of all light.”

He never responded! But then the next day before work I was running and he pulled up on me in my car and was like why you trying to kick me out of the state and I was hurt so I said because you need to leave this place now leave me alone im running. So after I had showered and came down stairs to work I was talking to another co-worker and he walks up and teases me telling the other co-worker that I told him to leave him alone because I was running then we have this quiet stare down conversation because both of us know I was vulnerable the night before and he never responded! Sigh sorry so long click to expand

That was pretty detailed so helps in understanding the situation. I know the feeling just trying to find a way to explain it. With Caps you have to play hard ball and be genuine at the same time. They don't respond well to pressure BUT if you know how they feel and they need a nudge that nudge can make a world of difference. For example:
Let's say you KNOW that Cap guy likes you but he's hesitant to ask you out (for whatever reason). So pressuring would be like, "soo you know i've been thinking about you and it would be really nice if you asked me out"..."when will you ask me out..." "i'd love ot see you just waiting for you to make that move..." That wouldn't work well because that's like emotional pressure. BUT if you angle up the friend side and say, "Hey stop messing around, let's go get something to eat. Pick me up at 8pm on Friday, ok? Cool see you then". It's like taking the pressure off them but at the same time nudging the relationship forward. Like you have to be SASSY with them with a sense of humor lolll if that makes sense.

In the scenario you painted like there is a lot of tension between you two for those years and when you were vulnerable and open that just put pressure on him to respond without having a way out. Caps can be direct as long as they have a way to save face and may be use humor to get out of that awkward exchange of emotions/thoughts.

It's like you share your feelings but in a direct way with a sense of humor.

Your situation seems like there are some feelings but a lot of obstacles. So someone needs to take the reigns and decide what it is. I think it was really cool of you to let him go and want the best for him..and at the same time express that it will help you move on too. But you have to be really honest with your own feelings that whether you said that ot nudge the relationship forward and get a reaction from him or you truly feel that way. I mean it could be both, you just have to know what your angle is.

Also if you rent out his condo will there be any benefit to you from that?? Meaning a nice discount? Or else why would you rent it except for him benefiting him that he gets to rent it to someone he knows/reliable. But renting his condo will def keep that connection between you two as it gives excuses to start conversation etc.
click to expand

I really want another job not only because of him but I hate where I work if I could find another job it would help me move on because he wouldn't be stopping by my desk everyday I'd miss him but it would be easier too click to expand

click to expand

True! it would help. But what's up with rending his condo? will he give you a big discount if you do? lol. I'm just looking at ways you can gain something out of this lolll

Have you guys ever been intimate? I know you stated he's been in your life as a friend for 2 years, but when did you start to feel so deeply for him? Why did you start to feel deeply for him... was it words that were exchanged, did you guys spend a lot of time together outside of work? Also, was this the first time you ever opened up to hime or allowed him to know your feelings?

Posted by Lala1393

Posted by ladylibra21
You would go silent after someone expresses their feelings to you ?

Knock knock knock.

Madame.
AHEM
Excuse me. Who gave you the permission to be so pretty ? click to expand

click to expand

Aww that is so sweet thank you 😊!

Posted by Invisible

Posted by AquaNextDoor
Not having the same feelings

this.

or he does have the same feelings, but something is preventing him from pursuing you. Maybe something bothers him, or maybe he has this "perfect" version of how his life should be, but you don't exactly match the story in his mind despite the way he may feel about you. click to expand

click to expand

The same exact thought because he is America Italian and I am black. And even though he barely sees his parents and thinks that they are toxic he still cares about what they think

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by stillstillwater

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by stillstillwater

I think the silence would be if the feelings were not expected. So some reasons could be:

1) Need to process
2) Need to think about what the outcomes would of reciprocating and what the future would look like after that
3) Not ready for the same thing

What's the story though?

Lol the story is a very long one that I’m sure some of the Caps on this forum still remember, but we are not together, have never been together, just this weird attraction and friendship for 2 years of him supposedly having feelings but never making a move because of his reasons (we work together, he has never dated someone with a kid so he doesn’t know what the relationship would be like with my son’s father, being hurt badly before) you know excuses and 2 year of mixed signals.

However, the most recent development is him asking if me if he should move to Colorado within a month and me pushing him to do it because honestly I think he would be happy there and get out of the rut he has been stuck in for years and I honestly think he will go out and finally meet someone there and heal his heart. I can tell he is ready and I know he is ready for a companion because about 2 months ago he took me out to lunch for secretary’s day something he hadn’t done in a long time (Just to be nice) and he told me he was ready to have kids, but he won’t date or do what it takes to make that happen. I teased him and said well when a mommy and daddy get together, he better get on that, you know that whole bit. I accidently let him back into my heart after trying to let him go by dating an Aquarius man that I attracted because I was broken hearted from Cap I know so stupid of me and it is something I will never do again.

But anyways he had to give an answer soon about a job and I told him he should take it. Rent his condo out and go for a year if he likes it he can sell his condo and stay. He was like why don’t you live there and you can pay, me rent. In my head I’m thinking yeah right and be surrounded by your energy all day long I don’t think so, but I can tell he really thought about it. So after I left work I sent him a text saying “No seriously though I just want the best for you and I think that if Colorado would make you happy you should definitely go. You spend so much time working why not go explore while you do it also who knows what other opportunities may open up for you there. Like I told you a couple of weeks ago you have everything you need to be great anywhere treetrunk a piece of paper you can get a piece of paper anywhere (he thinks he has to get his surveyor’s license here before he does anything).” He said Thank you. I would like to do it but it seems this would be a little fast. I’ll think about it. “

Then like a dumb ass the vulnerable fairies touched my spirit and I was vulnerable for the first time in a year. I keep telling myself that I said it because I didn’t want to feel like I was deceiving him in anyway because I think he values my opinion, but I think I said it because I really needed to. I said “And OK I Will be honest I guess maybe A part of me is being a little selfish about Colorado because I know that I would be able to finally release you. Not to get sappy on you but I think you should do what makes you happy Fear is the killer of all light.”

He never responded! But then the next day before work I was running and he pulled up on me in my car and was like why you trying to kick me out of the state and I was hurt so I said because you need to leave this place now leave me alone im running. So after I had showered and came down stairs to work I was talking to another co-worker and he walks up and teases me telling the other co-worker that I told him to leave him alone because I was running then we have this quiet stare down conversation because both of us know I was vulnerable the night before and he never responded! Sigh sorry so long click to expand

That was pretty detailed so helps in understanding the situation. I know the feeling just trying to find a way to explain it. With Caps you have to play hard ball and be genuine at the same time. They don't respond well to pressure BUT if you know how they feel and they need a nudge that nudge can make a world of difference. For example:
Let's say you KNOW that Cap guy likes you but he's hesitant to ask you out (for whatever reason). So pressuring would be like, "soo you know i've been thinking about you and it would be really nice if you asked me out"..."when will you ask me out..." "i'd love ot see you just waiting for you to make that move..." That wouldn't work well because that's like emotional pressure. BUT if you angle up the friend side and say, "Hey stop messing around, let's go get something to eat. Pick me up at 8pm on Friday, ok? Cool see you then". It's like taking the pressure off them but at the same time nudging the relationship forward. Like you have to be SASSY with them with a sense of humor lolll if that makes sense.

In the scenario you painted like there is a lot of tension between you two for those years and when you were vulnerable and open that just put pressure on him to respond without having a way out. Caps can be direct as long as they have a way to save face and may be use humor to get out of that awkward exchange of emotions/thoughts.

It's like you share your feelings but in a direct way with a sense of humor.

Your situation seems like there are some feelings but a lot of obstacles. So someone needs to take the reigns and decide what it is. I think it was really cool of you to let him go and want the best for him..and at the same time express that it will help you move on too. But you have to be really honest with your own feelings that whether you said that ot nudge the relationship forward and get a reaction from him or you truly feel that way. I mean it could be both, you just have to know what your angle is.

Also if you rent out his condo will there be any benefit to you from that?? Meaning a nice discount? Or else why would you rent it except for him benefiting him that he gets to rent it to someone he knows/reliable. But renting his condo will def keep that connection between you two as it gives excuses to start conversation etc.
click to expand

I really want another job not only because of him but I hate where I work if I could find another job it would help me move on because he wouldn't be stopping by my desk everyday I'd miss him but it would be easier too click to expand

True! it would help. But what's up with rending his condo? will he give you a big discount if you do? lol. I'm just looking at ways you can gain something out of this lolll click to expand

click to expand

I don't think that I could do it and he told me he's not going to go to Colorado he might in a year after his goats out the area , but I couldn't be in there and be surrounded by all of his energy and then I would never get over him. He did say I could pay what I pay for rent now and he would pay for homeowners association fees but again even if he was slightly serious he would never do that because it's out of his comfort zone he doesn't really let people into his space he just had his parents over for dinner last year and he's had that condo for about five years now

Posted by Wanderlustcancerian24
Have you guys ever been intimate? I know you stated he's been in your life as a friend for 2 years, but when did you start to feel so deeply for him? Why did you start to feel deeply for him... was it words that were exchanged, did you guys spend a lot of time together outside of work? Also, was this the first time you ever opened up to hime or allowed him to know your feelings?

We have never been intimate unless you count him putting dollar bills down my shirt at the strip club LOL but that something friends can do too I mean we both have Sag Venus so that doesn't seem out of the ordinary. As far as hanging out outside of work he came to my show and brought his friends wants and met my parents walked right up to them and introduced himself but other than that he used to say we should go shoot guns but we would never do it we went to lunch occasionally but again friends can do that .

He had a weird thing about people touching him before but we've hugged and I touched his face once to check his temp and he didn't flinch away so that's a big deal to me LOL he's kind of like a wounded animal sometimes but he's so strong. He has been through a lot. As far as talking about feelings, a year ago in January, I basically had a mini tantrum because I was trying to shut him out so I can move on and he kind of picked up on it even though he didn't say anything and right before he left he put a heart on a sticky note and put it on my desk.

I was so mad I called him and demanded that we needed to talk and he tried to say he was busy that weekend even though I know most of the time he's at home lounging around (Taurus moon) so I was like you know what forget about it you don't want to make time for me then nothing I say even matters I hung up on him and he called me back a couple of time but I didn't pick up. He called again the next day on Saturday and was like we can meet up Wednesday . That Wednesday we went to go talk and I said OK I have these feelings for you and I don't know what to do with them. I'm just trying to figure out if you think that this will ever go anywhere. He said OK well obviously there's something there but there are things to consider then he stated the things to consider and we basically after talking for an hour he basically said the answer to your question is I don't know if we will ever be anything more we will just have to wait and see and he got really close to tell me bye and it felt like he wanted to kiss me but now that I think about it he was probably just playing with my head LOL.

I still don't know if he was genuine about his words or if he just didn't want to hurt my feelings but it seem like he was genuine with his words but after that conversation I put a date on the calendar and silently gave him three months to be more direct and he wasn't so I made myself date because I purposely didn't date for a year and a half thinking he would make a move. So I thought maybe if I date I'll get over him.

It's a fucking weird connection I have felt drawn to him since the very first time I saw him before I was even in his group at work.

I used to get so jealous because another girl at work used to flirt with him and I kept pushing her on him because I just thought to myself OK if they date then I'll know he's off-limits and I can't think about him anymore this was before we were even friends and I couldn't tell you why I was so freaking attracted to him then we became friends I was Completely taken over to the point where I couldn't stop thinking about him and part of it was because he knows me better than most people he can always tell what I'm feeling even if I'm trying to hide it I can try my damnedest but I cannot hide from him and I hate that because he knows everything that I feel. It's almost crippling to have someone know exactly how you feel about them but not to know how they truly feel about you .

Posted by Lala1393

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by Wanderlustcancerian24
Have you guys ever been intimate? I know you stated he's been in your life as a friend for 2 years, but when did you start to feel so deeply for him? Why did you start to feel deeply for him... was it words that were exchanged, did you guys spend a lot of time together outside of work? Also, was this the first time you ever opened up to hime or allowed him to know your feelings?

We have never been intimate unless you count him putting dollar bills down my shirt at the strip club LOL but that something friends can do too I mean we both have Sag Venus so that doesn't seem out of the ordinary. As far as hanging out outside of work he came to my show and brought his friends wants and met my parents walked right up to them and introduced himself but other than that he used to say we should go shoot guns but we would never do it we went to lunch occasionally but again friends can do that .
He had a weird thing about people touching him before but we've hugged and I touched his face once to check his temp and he didn't flinch away so that's a big deal to me LOL he's kind of like a wounded animal sometimes but he's so strong. He has been through a lot. As far as talking about feelings, a year ago in January, I basically had a mini tantrum because I was trying to shut him out so I can move on and he kind of picked up on it even though he didn't say anything and right before he left he put a heart on a sticky note and put it on my desk.

I was so mad I called him and demanded that we needed to talk and he tried to say he was busy that weekend even though I know most of the time he's at home lounging around (Taurus moon) so I was like you know what forget about it you don't want to make time for me then nothing I say even matters I hung up on him and he called me back a couple of time but I didn't pick up. He called again the next day on Saturday and was like we can meet up Wednesday . That Wednesday we went to go talk and I said OK I have these feelings for you and I don't know what to do with them. I'm just trying to figure out if you think that this will ever go anywhere. He said OK well obviously there's something there but there are things to consider then he stated the things to consider and we basically after talking for an hour he basically said the answer to your question is I don't know if we will ever be anything more we will just have to wait and see and he got really close to tell me bye and it felt like he wanted to kiss me but now that I think about it he was probably just playing with my head LOL.

I still don't know if he was genuine about his words or if he just didn't want to hurt my feelings but it seem like he was genuine with his words but after that conversation I put a date on the calendar and silently gave him three months to be more direct and he wasn't so I made myself date because I purposely didn't date for a year and a half thinking he would make a move. So I thought maybe if I date I'll get over him.
It's a treetrunking weird connection I have felt drawn to him since the very first time I saw him before I was even in his group at work.
I used to get so jealous because another girl at work used to flirt with him and I kept pushing her on him because I just thought to myself OK if they date then I'll know he's off-limits and I can't think about him anymore this was before we were even friends and I couldn't tell you why I was so freaking attracted to him then we became friends I was Completely taken over to the point where I couldn't stop thinking about him and part of it was because he knows me better than most people he can always tell what I'm feeling even if I'm trying to hide it I can try my damnedest but I cannot hide from him and I hate that because he knows everything that I feel. It's almost crippling to have someone know exactly how you feel about them but not to know how they truly feel about you . click to expand

Sorry to be so BLUNT. But this guy sounds like an absolute tool.

If he truly liked you, he wouldn't keep you in the dark about how he feels.

I just "broke up" (well I wanted us to be on a break) with my Italian Scorpio boyfriend. The reason I decided to do that is because I started to feel suffocated. I was starting to be REALLY mean and borderline abusive to get him to give me space.
But he is and was quite honest with his feelings and intentions from DAY 1. Although We've had our fairshare of pbs. I think he always listens to what I say when we discuss things calmly. Then he rectifies whatever I'm unhappy about.

Any guy who says and does this:

He said OK well obviously there's something there but there are things to consider then he stated the things to consider and we basically after talking for an hour he basically said the answer to your question is I don't know if we will ever be anything more we will just have to wait and see and he got really close to tell me bye and it felt like he wanted to kiss me but now that I think about it he was probably just playing with my head LOL.

I still don't know if he was genuine about his words or if he just didn't want to hurt my feelings but it seem like he was genuine with his words but after that conversation I put a date on the calendar and silently gave him three months to be more direct and he wasn't so I made myself date because I purposely didn't date for a year and a half thinking he would make a move.

He was CLEAR

I'm not going to be a typical girl and tell you that there are hidden feelings on his side and give you false hope.
Look at you ! You're gorgeous!
You shouldn't have to hold out and chase a guy who doesn't have the decency to be upfront and honest about whether or not he wants to persue a relationship with you. He's being deliberatrly ambiguous because it seems to give him some form of ego trip. He seems to maintain his distance. Then the note with the heart ...don't read into it too much.

He's just playing.
Try to truly move on.
If you were my close friend id tell you to snap out of it. He just seems to like be to scared or cowardly to see you as relationship material. But he still flirts with you because he knows you like him and maybe he likes you too a little but not enough to be WITH you.



I have a Cap ex who would love to drive girls crazy I must admit. Never did anything with them unless he ACTUALLY wanted to BE with them but he liked to mindfvck them that's for sure. Beware please.
You are TOO cute for this.

I don't believe Caps are ghosters. But MEN may just get a bit distant with a girl they know likes them more than they like them. Also. He's italian. Italian men are pretty alpha. They like to be the ones chasing women. Or at least have the illusion of it.

No no girl. Seems like he is doing you a favour here.
HE is not worth your time. NOPE. Neeeext click to expand

click to expand

Omg thank you I need to print this out and read it everyday. I have thought about all of these things before he just had the ability to make me forget about them when I see him which sucks. It's just nice to have a man you care about show interest in your life and you are right it's probably mostly for ego reasons.

Gosh, your story sounds so familiar to mine and I really feel for you, I still remember my heartache. Five years ago a caps guy did the same thing to me, met him while on holiday and for two years after that there was constant texting/emailing, mixed signals and flirting, meet ups for meal or drinks until I fell deeply for him and eventually told him. I don’t remember how exactly he rejected me but it was very similar, something like he feels better on his own, I have misunderstood, he is not sure if he wants a serious relationship and all the usual bla.

I was so broken I had to deleted all communication with him, blocked his emails and number, I didn’t want to be able to contact him in a moment of weakness, shorty after that I had to change my own number and I thought there was not danger of him contacting me. It took me years to piece myself together and just as I thought I had I received a test from him, very sweet and very nice as only caps can be with words. I responded initially because I felt safe, I thought I am over him but he wanted to meet, and he wanted to meet asap, he invited me to go visit and stay at his place (we live in different cities, I moved last year) or he could get a friend and come visit me.

To cut the long story, only now I realize he goes silent after some of my texts is because I had suggest jokingly ridiculous demands if he wants us to meet and he went away trying to make it happen. He only replied once he had managed to arrange things in such way that we could meet. So if your guy goes silent on you it maybe because he is trying to find a solution to something he maybe seeing as an obstacle, or simply digesting what he has just learnt. He will get back in touch as soon as he has a plan of action.