Help me understand what Cap man is doing in this relationship

First time posting here. I'm a Leo woman with a Cap man (Moon in Sag and Venus in Scorpio, if that helps). He's 10 years younger than me. We met online and agreed to have a casual relationship. The first 2 months all was fine. We met up a couple of times a week, no sleepovers, just flirty texts, etc. Then I went on vacation for a week with a girlfriend and he seemed to miss me a lot. He texted me every day and couldn't wait for me to get back (even though it was only a week). After that, he started sleeping over all the time and we went thru a 5-month period where he stayed with me 5 nights a week. He then got a job overseas where he will be working for 6 month increments then home for a month. During the transition to that job, he gave up his apartment because it didn't make sense to sign a new lease. He began living with me in between his training schedules for the new job. He's now been living with me for 2 months waiting to deploy (and will probably be here a couple more weeks). He has other options of places to live during this transition (parents, friends, etc).

Having spent this immense amount of time together with no conflicts, I have developed feelings for him. We have had several talks about our relationship. He does not want a serious relationship until he gets his career established and is back from overseas (probably 1-2 years). He wants me to continue dating during the time he's gone but says he wants to stay in communication and re-connect when he's on leave for the month. He's going to a country where he will likely not have much of a dating life himself so that's not the motivation. We have a daily sex life that's very exploratory and wonderful. He has met a couple of my close friends. He attended my work Christmas party with me (which is a big deal to me). While he is living with me, he does not go out and socialize with anyone other than his parents. If he goes out and does anything, he's always back to spend time with me. We have a routine. We're like an old married couple. Lol. On the flip side, I have not met any of his friends or family and he is super unaffectionate outside of sex. We kiss deeply before I leave for work every morning but there is no couch cuddling, spontaneous kisses, etc. Nothing that doesn't lead to sex. He also doesn't compliment me outside of sex and Valentine's Day was ignored. Yet he is always considerate, communicates, and listens.

I am listening to what he says (no relationship and you should date others) and paying attention to his actions (no affection, no meeting the friends/family) but I'm having a hard time understanding how someone could get this deep for 9 months with someone and not have any real feelings. Is it really possible a Cap guy can live like this and not develop feelings for someone?

Caps are like this. Not that affectionate on the surface but deeply care for you actually. Some don't even like hugs. But do know he cares for you and likes you. And yes we take a lot of time to develop strong feelings, 9 months is very less. But he is still spending practically all his time with you should tell you that there is something. So just have faith. And he doesn't want to bind you in commitment until his job is stable and he is back there with you. So just agree with it and play it cool.

Don’t move a casual no strings attached fuck buddy into your home.

Like, are you at least charging him rent?

Posted by LadyNeptune

Don’t move a casual no strings attached fuck buddy into your home.

Like, are you at least charging him rent?

I didn't "move him in" to live. It's a temporary thing for a couple of months. He's leaving in a week or so.

Posted by Capricorn91

Caps are like this. Not that affectionate on the surface but deeply care for you actually. Some don't even like hugs. But do know he cares for you and likes you. And yes we take a lot of time to develop strong feelings, 9 months is very less. But he is still spending practically all his time with you should tell you that there is something. So just have faith. And he doesn't want to bind you in commitment until his job is stable and he is back there with you. So just agree with it and play it cool.

Thanks for your input! It is my plan to go with the flow and see what happens while he's gone 6 months. The thing that concerns me though is the lack of affection. I would love to give things a serious go with him but I think that would wear on me after awhile. I know his lack of affection was a problem in his last 2 relationships so I'm not sure it's something that will ever get better with him. Any suggestions as to getting him to be comfortable with more affection?

Posted by zihuatcat

Posted by Capricorn91

Caps are like this. Not that affectionate on the surface but deeply care for you actually. Some don't even like hugs. But do know he cares for you and likes you. And yes we take a lot of time to develop strong feelings, 9 months is very less. But he is still spending practically all his time with you should tell you that there is something. So just have faith. And he doesn't want to bind you in commitment until his job is stable and he is back there with you. So just agree with it and play it cool.

Thanks for your input! It is my plan to go with the flow and see what happens while he's gone 6 months. The thing that concerns me though is the lack of affection. I would love to give things a serious go with him but I think that would wear on me after awhile. I know his lack of affection was a problem in his last 2 relationships so I'm not sure it's something that will ever get better with him. Any suggestions as to getting him to be comfortable with more affection?

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sorry but what do you mean by lack of affection was a problem?

The cap im getting to know also has sag moon and scorpio venus..

Posted by zihuatcat

First time posting here. I'm a Leo woman with a Cap man (Moon in Sag and Venus in Scorpio, if that helps). He's 10 years younger than me. We met online and agreed to have a casual relationship. The first 2 months all was fine. We met up a couple of times a week, no sleepovers, just flirty texts, etc. Then I went on vacation for a week with a girlfriend and he seemed to miss me a lot. He texted me every day and couldn't wait for me to get back (even though it was only a week). After that, he started sleeping over all the time and we went thru a 5-month period where he stayed with me 5 nights a week. He then got a job overseas where he will be working for 6 month increments then home for a month. During the transition to that job, he gave up his apartment because it didn't make sense to sign a new lease. He began living with me in between his training schedules for the new job. He's now been living with me for 2 months waiting to deploy (and will probably be here a couple more weeks). He has other options of places to live during this transition (parents, friends, etc).

Having spent this immense amount of time together with no conflicts, I have developed feelings for him. We have had several talks about our relationship. He does not want a serious relationship until he gets his career established and is back from overseas (probably 1-2 years). He wants me to continue dating during the time he's gone but says he wants to stay in communication and re-connect when he's on leave for the month. He's going to a country where he will likely not have much of a dating life himself so that's not the motivation. We have a daily sex life that's very exploratory and wonderful. He has met a couple of my close friends. He attended my work Christmas party with me (which is a big deal to me). While he is living with me, he does not go out and socialize with anyone other than his parents. If he goes out and does anything, he's always back to spend time with me. We have a routine. We're like an old married couple. Lol. On the flip side, I have not met any of his friends or family and he is super unaffectionate outside of sex. We kiss deeply before I leave for work every morning but there is no couch cuddling, spontaneous kisses, etc. Nothing that doesn't lead to sex. He also doesn't compliment me outside of sex and Valentine's Day was ignored. Yet he is always considerate, communicates, and listens.

I am listening to what he says (no relationship and you should date others) and paying attention to his actions (no affection, no meeting the friends/family) but I'm having a hard time understanding how someone could get this deep for 9 months with someone and not have any real feelings. Is it really possible a Cap guy can live like this and not develop feelings for someone?

It’s possible and I understand it. It doesn’t make sense to call this a true relationship. He’s making it clear that you are not his girlfriend. It’s an arrangement and you did agree to it.

That said, I do realize how you caught feelings. It sucks. But he is gone six months at a time, so go about your business. Have other relationships.

Who knows, maybe things will change in the future, but don’t put your eggs in that basket. Don’t let him hold you back from finding someone special. Don’t wait for him.

You are free to end this arrangement at any time and he won’t blame you if you do. You started out to agreeing to casual and that was your first mistake. He’s holding you to your word.

I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear.

Posted by zihuatcat

Posted by Capricorn91

Caps are like this. Not that affectionate on the surface but deeply care for you actually. Some don't even like hugs. But do know he cares for you and likes you. And yes we take a lot of time to develop strong feelings, 9 months is very less. But he is still spending practically all his time with you should tell you that there is something. So just have faith. And he doesn't want to bind you in commitment until his job is stable and he is back there with you. So just agree with it and play it cool.

Thanks for your input! It is my plan to go with the flow and see what happens while he's gone 6 months. The thing that concerns me though is the lack of affection. I would love to give things a serious go with him but I think that would wear on me after awhile. I know his lack of affection was a problem in his last 2 relationships so I'm not sure it's something that will ever get better with him. Any suggestions as to getting him to be comfortable with more affection?

click to expand

How old are you guys? He was not that much affectionate in his prior relationships means he has difficulty being affectionate so he shows his love with different actions. Maybe give things time. And don't pressurise him into it. Let him come to you. Capricorns are tough on the outside but carry a lot of deep emotions on the inside, so once he is comfortable with it he will give it all to you. But just be patient if you can be.

It’s not realistic to even try at a relationship if he is gone six months at a time. That’s where I understand where he’s coming from

Posted by zihuatcat

Posted by LadyNeptune

Don’t move a casual no strings attached fuck buddy into your home.

Like, are you at least charging him rent?

I didn't "move him in" to live. It's a temporary thing for a couple of months. He's leaving in a week or so.

click to expand

Is he paying you rent to live there for those months?

I just feel like.... Guys say a lot of shit, but they don't really know how they feel. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Nothing to do but go with it..

Stay far far far away from Capricorn’s they don’t deserve that Leo love!

Posted by MoonshineLeo

Stay far far far away from Capricorn’s they don’t deserve that Leo love!

More like we don’t have the time to feed the Leo ego. 😜