How do you know if it's LOVE or LUST?
How do you know if it's LOVE or LUST?
Questions like these are so cancerous bc... if you have to ask, it's like 96.7864% never love.
They're almost synonyms in my head.
Posted by Capri-sun
Lust is in the moment. I can envision myself screwing the person maybe. It's a fleeting thought.
Love, when I wake up thinking about the person, he's the last person on my mind before falling asleep, and I think about him throughout the day.
With love, I will always respond to your texts/calls even if it's a hey, I was busy doing xyz. More importantly I will call/text you 1st.
In love, what's mine is yours. I make time for him. And I'm open, giving, all that good stuff.
As usual, Capri-Sun your post is well said.
I agree with this as well. Although, I do have a hard time being the first to call or text, even though I'd like to. Everything else though, 100% .
Well, lust for me is not just "banging" someone, lust is a very strong sexual desire you have for someone in particular, not just any person.
When you want this person near you or you crave being with him/her, even without sexual contact but you're still feeling the desire.
But how do you know is not love?
All the other answers are easy those are just casual fuckbuddies or fwb.. but if you have several you may not feel the same desire, it's just physical contact.
So, like @sassykiwi said 96.7864% of relationships could just be based in lust... when you lose the lust, the relationship is over.. but if you "loved" the person it shouldn't be over.
I've been wondering if some people have a way to tell the difference..
When you want this person near you or you crave being with him/her, even without sexual contact but you're still feeling the desire.
But how do you know is not love?
All the other answers are easy those are just casual fuckbuddies or fwb.. but if you have several you may not feel the same desire, it's just physical contact.
So, like @sassykiwi said 96.7864% of relationships could just be based in lust... when you lose the lust, the relationship is over.. but if you "loved" the person it shouldn't be over.
I've been wondering if some people have a way to tell the difference..
Well lust is an expression of love. Lust fades love doesn't. Love is built with patience, lust is always there. Lust needs to be looked over to see the love behind the small actions in day to day life. You can live without lust but not without love. Lust asks for highs, love asks for stability, normalcy. Lust is short term, love is long term. Lust is good when both are in it, love can be alone. Lust without love is just shallow, love is always deep from the heart. In lust you think about yourself, in love you think about others also including his/her family.
Posted by magikarp?? I could never be with someone who doesn't turn me on in the slightest... we must have a mental, sexual, emotional connection if you want me more than a month or 3 dates lol.. I'm an Aqua btw.
pisces women never make me horny, but i wont trade them with anything. #love #is #simple
Lust feels like a sprint: super exciting, adrenaline rush, don't care about where the goal line is, just trying to get there as fast as possible.
Love feels like a marathon: you can breathe normally, you're taking your time for the most part, you know you're working toward a goal, but you also know you have to pace yourself to complete it in one piece.
Love feels like a marathon: you can breathe normally, you're taking your time for the most part, you know you're working toward a goal, but you also know you have to pace yourself to complete it in one piece.
Lust is something I experienced in high school and college. Now I don't feel that same passion when I date guys. Love takes time, patience, and understanding
Posted by NevermoreSo? Go by your life and post in another threads...
There was a thread discussed about this..
Your participation wasn't appreciated!
Lust goes hand by hand with love!
You love someone - you list after them!
Except when you quenched your thirst you want more...and you keep wanting.
And it doesn't stop after a few sex accounters. It's going on...
I said before - if you satisfied your curiosity 'how is he/she in bed' and keep wanting to have it again with this person - there is your lust turning love.
Some people being together for a long time and when sex gone - love evaporates! So who we are to say - it was 10 years of lust and 5 kids later it's gone. So it was lust! Bull! No one knows!
You love someone - you list after them!
Except when you quenched your thirst you want more...and you keep wanting.
And it doesn't stop after a few sex accounters. It's going on...
I said before - if you satisfied your curiosity 'how is he/she in bed' and keep wanting to have it again with this person - there is your lust turning love.
Some people being together for a long time and when sex gone - love evaporates! So who we are to say - it was 10 years of lust and 5 kids later it's gone. So it was lust! Bull! No one knows!
Posted by lady_chatterleyWrong! You might care deeply about person. And take care of them. And even sucrifice a lot for them.
Lust is related to sexual acts/thoughts without love, without affection, without caring about someone else etc. Basically without being emotionally invested in said person. When you first kiss someone do you think about caring for the person, or do you think about having sex? Most people do this backwards, sex first, love later. It's what causes most of people's problems.
That's love. And it doesn't exclude lust.
And sex first isn't a problem.
Life goes the way it goes. There aren't rules. Man made only. But who said man who made it was trustworthy?
Posted by NevermoreI am not getting older. I am older!Posted by GemitatiThat took a long time to respond. You're getting slower these days. Might be you're getting old and need to be retired. 😛Posted by NevermoreSo? Go by your life and post in another threads...
There was a thread discussed about this..
Your participation wasn't appreciated!click to expand
Posted by GemitatiI share your point of view. and I was in the 2nd scenario for a while. but it was love, that became a toxic relationship, lust was lost. :/
Lust goes hand by hand with love!
You love someone - you list after them!
Except when you quenched your thirst you want more...and you keep wanting.
And it doesn't stop after a few sex accounters. It's going on...
I said before - if you satisfied your curiosity 'how is he/she in bed' and keep wanting to have it again with this person - there is your lust turning love.
Some people being together for a long time and when sex gone - love evaporates! So who we are to say - it was 10 years of lust and 5 kids later it's gone. So it was lust! Bull! No one knows!
I've had sex first and it lasted 12 years!! haha our problems weren't about love, we loved each other but he was very possessive.
Posted by lady_chatterleyHmm that could be true but I was once with someone who was "Compatible" with me, even according to astrology we were the best couplePosted by AerazoI don't think sex first creates problems in love. Sex first, makes you blind to the possible incompatibilities.
I've had sex first and it lasted 12 years!! haha our problems weren't about love, we loved each other but he was very possessive.
click to expand
Aqua - Libra but I was drained, exhausted, overwhelmed in the first months. and if see him once every 2 weeks! lol
We weren't sex first either.
My longest relationships are probably with guys I have nothing in common with or compatible but it makes it more interesting.
Posted by AerazoTotally agree! I had never had bad/toxic RelashionshIps because my Gemini essence does not permit it!Posted by GemitatiI share your point of view. and I was in the 2nd scenario for a while. but it was love, that became a toxic relationship, lust was lost. :/
Lust goes hand by hand with love!
You love someone - you list after them!
Except when you quenched your thirst you want more...and you keep wanting.
And it doesn't stop after a few sex accounters. It's going on...
I said before - if you satisfied your curiosity 'how is he/she in bed' and keep wanting to have it again with this person - there is your lust turning love.
Some people being together for a long time and when sex gone - love evaporates! So who we are to say - it was 10 years of lust and 5 kids later it's gone. So it was lust! Bull! No one knows!
click to expand
However I am glad you get out!
And Godspeed to you in future! Hugs
Posted by lady_chatterleyNo baby! Sex is only precious if 2 people are having it while feeling for each other!Posted by GemitatiI didn't define love. I defined Lust. And, I don't think my definition of Lust is wrong. I added that having sex first before getting to know someone creates problems because sometimes people get attached before getting to know someone and then realize that person is a monster much later.Posted by lady_chatterleyWrong! You might care deeply about person. And take care of them. And even sucrifice a lot for them.
Lust is related to sexual acts/thoughts without love, without affection, without caring about someone else etc. Basically without being emotionally invested in said person. When you first kiss someone do you think about caring for the person, or do you think about having sex? Most people do this backwards, sex first, love later. It's what causes most of people's problems.
That's love. And it doesn't exclude lust.
And sex first isn't a problem.
Life goes the way it goes. There aren't rules. Man made only. But who said man who made it was trustworthy?
Personally, I believe sex is precious, because it is two becoming one flesh, two becoming one soul.
click to expand
Sex isn't precious if it's just lets do it!
It can be awesome but not precious by any means which is ok nevertheless!
We can bounce this ball force and back all we want but there is 10000 shades of sex and love and sex with love and lust without love.
This is why this combos are always entertaining!
Posted by lady_chatterley
In general: sure you can be greatly compatible in sex, but sex doesn't last a life time. Would you rather spend the rest of your life with someone you know you can stand, or someone that you cannot get a long with but the sex is great? Sex can only go so far. My grandmother was a mean woman when she was in her 70s-80s and I felt sorry for my grandfather. I doubt they were having sex then, but he had to live with someone that verbally abused him until she passed away. Sorry, but I am not willing to live the end of my life like that.
If you got to know someone first there would be an inner knowing, this is an individual that can be lived with. In the days of courtship, find out all you can about the habits and moods, for when two people come together, then will both be on their best behavior. Look around. Listen with your eyes and you can see the type of individual you are getting. You can see whether or not he or she would fit into your life style . As this can be done, as there can be the patience demonstrated, here the reward will be much greater. It is much better to miss a few years of married life, than to enter into a state of unhappiness, only to have the marriage dissolve and then meet the one who would be right. To attract someone, one must have the ideal in the mind, then must seek actively, get to know the person, then make the decision. Allow the mind to make the decision, rather than the heart. Keep that of the sexual tendencies aside until there can be seen clearly what is wanted, and what is at hand.
This is why sex first creates a problem, you cannot pick someone you can be truly happy with, with having blinders on because the sex is good. I am sure there are lucky people out there though where this doesn't apply and good for them. Relationships are all about growing and we allow these people in our lives for our souls to mature.
It all depends on how we see sex. in my case Sex isn't just pleasure, is not just an act to procreate either.
I see sex as a way to fully connect with the person I'm attracted to. How I feel when we do it, how he feels, how things flow, and what I perceive from him.
Venus in Pisces
Posted by AerazoExactly! We can be laying naked and just talking...having so much fun! Because all these years our connection is communication! Fun! Hilarious with hint of sexual attraction...we make each other happy! By talking! And if there is sexual - it's just extra cherry on the top of the wip cream!Posted by lady_chatterley
In general: sure you can be greatly compatible in sex, but sex doesn't last a life time. Would you rather spend the rest of your life with someone you know you can stand, or someone that you cannot get a long with but the sex is great? Sex can only go so far. My grandmother was a mean woman when she was in her 70s-80s and I felt sorry for my grandfather. I doubt they were having sex then, but he had to live with someone that verbally abused him until she passed away. Sorry, but I am not willing to live the end of my life like that.
If you got to know someone first there would be an inner knowing, this is an individual that can be lived with. In the days of courtship, find out all you can about the habits and moods, for when two people come together, then will both be on their best behavior. Look around. Listen with your eyes and you can see the type of individual you are getting. You can see whether or not he or she would fit into your life style . As this can be done, as there can be the patience demonstrated, here the reward will be much greater. It is much better to miss a few years of married life, than to enter into a state of unhappiness, only to have the marriage dissolve and then meet the one who would be right. To attract someone, one must have the ideal in the mind, then must seek actively, get to know the person, then make the decision. Allow the mind to make the decision, rather than the heart. Keep that of the sexual tendencies aside until there can be seen clearly what is wanted, and what is at hand.
This is why sex first creates a problem, you cannot pick someone you can be truly happy with, with having blinders on because the sex is good. I am sure there are lucky people out there though where this doesn't apply and good for them. Relationships are all about growing and we allow these people in our lives for our souls to mature.
It all depends on how we see sex. in my case Sex isn't just pleasure, is not just an act to procreate either.
I see sex as a way to fully connect with the person I'm attracted to. How I feel when we do it, how he feels, how things flow, and what I perceive from him.
Venus in Pisces
click to expand
Posted by lady_chatterleyIf he can do it twice per hour at 55...I am pretty sure we can flip something up at 80.
I'm sure your views will have evolved by the time when you are unable to have sex or have lost desire or interest. Do you think you'll be having sex in your 80s ? 😄
My mom had first orgasm at 73!
So...life goes on!
And her man was 82!
No! He was 78! They had 15 years difference! So...
Show must go on! He died unfortunately! After 4 cancers. From totally unrelated causes. We still miss him! Old school man!
Show must go on! He died unfortunately! After 4 cancers. From totally unrelated causes. We still miss him! Old school man!
Posted by GemitatiI am glad someone get it!Posted by AerazoExactly! We can be laying naked and just talking...having so much fun! Because all these years our connection is communication! Fun! Hilarious with hint of sexual attraction...we make each other happy! By talking! And if there is sexual - it's just extra cherry on the top of the wip cream!Posted by lady_chatterley
In general: sure you can be greatly compatible in sex, but sex doesn't last a life time. Would you rather spend the rest of your life with someone you know you can stand, or someone that you cannot get a long with but the sex is great? Sex can only go so far. My grandmother was a mean woman when she was in her 70s-80s and I felt sorry for my grandfather. I doubt they were having sex then, but he had to live with someone that verbally abused him until she passed away. Sorry, but I am not willing to live the end of my life like that.
If you got to know someone first there would be an inner knowing, this is an individual that can be lived with. In the days of courtship, find out all you can about the habits and moods, for when two people come together, then will both be on their best behavior. Look around. Listen with your eyes and you can see the type of individual you are getting. You can see whether or not he or she would fit into your life style . As this can be done, as there can be the patience demonstrated, here the reward will be much greater. It is much better to miss a few years of married life, than to enter into a state of unhappiness, only to have the marriage dissolve and then meet the one who would be right. To attract someone, one must have the ideal in the mind, then must seek actively, get to know the person, then make the decision. Allow the mind to make the decision, rather than the heart. Keep that of the sexual tendencies aside until there can be seen clearly what is wanted, and what is at hand.
This is why sex first creates a problem, you cannot pick someone you can be truly happy with, with having blinders on because the sex is good. I am sure there are lucky people out there though where this doesn't apply and good for them. Relationships are all about growing and we allow these people in our lives for our souls to mature.
It all depends on how we see sex. in my case Sex isn't just pleasure, is not just an act to procreate either.
I see sex as a way to fully connect with the person I'm attracted to. How I feel when we do it, how he feels, how things flow, and what I perceive from him.
Venus in Pisces
click to expand
Do you really?
This may seem silly, but one of the best examples I've seen of what love is(and he actually points to it in a scene) is Forest Gump.
Love is a state of mind, so much so that you show actions by instinct. I'm not talking fleeting passions and instant sex. I'm talking about agape love...that you simply give without consequence. To most it won't make sense because we often think in terms of receiving directly from the person we give to but true love operates on a higher level.
Love is a state of mind, so much so that you show actions by instinct. I'm not talking fleeting passions and instant sex. I'm talking about agape love...that you simply give without consequence. To most it won't make sense because we often think in terms of receiving directly from the person we give to but true love operates on a higher level.
Posted by lady_chatterleySex to me is also precious and I rarely have it. I have to have a strong connection with someone and my ex and this guy I'm seeing now it was immediate connection.Posted by GemitatiPosted by lady_chatterleyNo baby! Sex is only precious if 2 people are having it while feeling for each other!Posted by GemitatiI didn't define love. I defined Lust. And, I don't think my definition of Lust is wrong. I added that having sex first before getting to know someone creates problems because sometimes people get attached before getting to know someone and then realize that person is a monster much later.Posted by lady_chatterleyWrong! You might care deeply about person. And take care of them. And even sucrifice a lot for them.
Lust is related to sexual acts/thoughts without love, without affection, without caring about someone else etc. Basically without being emotionally invested in said person. When you first kiss someone do you think about caring for the person, or do you think about having sex? Most people do this backwards, sex first, love later. It's what causes most of people's problems.
That's love. And it doesn't exclude lust.
And sex first isn't a problem.
Life goes the way it goes. There aren't rules. Man made only. But who said man who made it was trustworthy?
Personally, I believe sex is precious, because it is two becoming one flesh, two becoming one soul.
Sex isn't precious if it's just lets do it!
It can be awesome but not precious by any means which is ok nevertheless!
We can bounce this ball force and back all we want but there is 10000 shades of sex and love and sex with love and lust without love.
This is why this combos are always entertaining!
Communication barrier.
Again, personally, I believe Sex between two people should come from love, not lust. I am implying that sex is too precious to give it away freely because you are becoming one flesh, one soul. That's too intimate to give it away or waste it on just for fun.
Anyway, in regards to 1000 shades of whatever, I qualified my statement with "personally" because it is my belief and I know not everyone shares it.
In the end, it doesn't matter who believes what, just how you treat others.
click to expand
We hung out, we talked, we felt comfortable with each other and sex was just the "I need to feel you deeply".
🙂
If I don't feel that connection then there's no sex.
I have had pleasurable sex with other guys and is just for the fun of the moment, but if I'm not connected to him in another way then it's just fun.
Lust is fueled by idealisation and projection, you see what you hope someone will be or need them to be rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all.
It's wearing rose tinted glasses, where they can do no wrong.
Your focus is on their looks and body. You are more interested in sex than conversation. You like to keep the relationship on a fantasy level and not discuss real feelings. You want them/you to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning. You are lovers but not friends.
Love is when you get lost in conversation and don't realise the hours pass by. You enjoy spending time together not just for sex. He/she motivates you to be a better person. You care about the other persons feelings and want them to be happy. You want to get to know their friends and family.
Being in love doesn't exclude lust. Lust can lead to love. It requires taking time to really get to know each other.
It's wearing rose tinted glasses, where they can do no wrong.
Your focus is on their looks and body. You are more interested in sex than conversation. You like to keep the relationship on a fantasy level and not discuss real feelings. You want them/you to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning. You are lovers but not friends.
Love is when you get lost in conversation and don't realise the hours pass by. You enjoy spending time together not just for sex. He/she motivates you to be a better person. You care about the other persons feelings and want them to be happy. You want to get to know their friends and family.
Being in love doesn't exclude lust. Lust can lead to love. It requires taking time to really get to know each other.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
About my Cap when he hugs me ? I have real issues hugging people except my kids and parents. But he makes it so easy and comforting.
I miss him.
Hi Cappies! I am a libra and in love with this cappy woman miles away from me.. I am getting a lot of mix signals from her. sometimes she seems so sweet and nice then after she's so distant and cold. If i don't text her she will worry, if I text her a lot
Which hurts. Way fucking worse than it should.
Any girl that is questioning where you stand with a Capricorn - if you have to question, then you're not important. To him at least.
Also, fuck him.
I am not sure if it is that you are tapping into the cancer side or what but you have a six sense and you always know when moods change.
"My Cap" came in this afternoon and said something is up with you some things on your mind and I said "I'm fine"
Ok So if have a new question. Im really looking for Capricorn men to answer this question. preferably 40 and over.
My best friend met a man on a social dating site about 2 years ago. about 7 months into dating him she found out he was engaged to be marri
Hello I'm a Virgo met a Capricorn 6 weeks ago, he is a lot older than I am, had 3 dates one week each. then he went away for work for 3 weeks.
He asked for my surname on first date. Kissed me on second, then on third date he talked about things we sho
Hi All,
A new member here.
Just wanted to know your thoughts on this topic. As far as my experience goes Capricorns are born in touch with the soul but they need to learn to navigate through the physical world and integrate the soul with the physica
When interested am I the only one that thinks it seems sexual? Is it just your normal eye contact or normal interest in someone?
I was going back overlooking Capricorn encounters and one I dated and they all had that same look that came of sexual to me
Is this talks motto?
https://media0.giphy.com/media/pFCWtX3kCf2Cs/giphy.gif
Im just curious since people hardly mention venus in this sign and im a venus in capricorn myself
Hi. I met this cap guy online. I am a librian. We chatted for a few days and then met up for a cup of coffee. We liked each other's company and ended up spending 2 hrs chatting away. He asked me out on another date the very same evening. We ended up in be
So this young woman has caught my eye, and I have caught hers. She always stares at me/ we always make eye contact. Except I can see her staring at me for extended periods of time. She will look at what I am wearing or just at me. She acts shy around me s
Hey Everyone,
Sorry this is long, I just want to help my cappy so bad.
My cappy and I have been dating for 8 months, he's passionate, a hardworker, reserved, a gentlemen and has the biggest heart. Unfortunately I think some of these qualities have got
Hello all, new here, looking for insight!
A Cap Sun/Taurus Moon/Venus Cap/Mars Aqua joined my company two weeks ago. I'm a Taurus Sun/Early degree Leo Moon/Venus Aries/Mars Gem. I happen to be his HR rep. So first day, I'm helping him get on-boarded.
So I'm a Taurus Girl and I've been talking to a Caps guy for about two weeks now. I know about him from years from living in the same city. Social media from following each other for years I always thought he was gorgeous so I got the courage to hit him u
My Capricorn works with me. He is my boss. He is always been sweet and started flirting and sending hot glances. For over a year. When I confessed my feelings for him, he rejected me because we work together. He didn't say he did not want me,he said it wa
First time around with a Capricorn interest and wondering if you could give me tips on his chart? Asc. Aries/ Sun cap/ moon Pisces/ merc cap/ Venus scorp/ mars Pisces/ Jupiter Pisces. That's all I got lol. Thank you in advance! :)
Title says it all. As a sign that generally gives off the impression of not being outwardly emotional, a little distant, and not the most affectionate, I am curious as to what you do, or don't do in terms of your demeanor towards someone you're into. Also
@CAPRILICIOUS
Hey wish you a very happy birthday ! Hope you have a blast :)
Hi, just need some advices on this Cap man I got to know just a month ago through Tinder app.
He seems to be looking for girls just for sexting. I refused to sext or send any pics yet he still continues to talk to me. He said that he is lonely and just