Possible sex addict in the picture. Or not? :D

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Lugeja
@Lugeja
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 11 · Topics: 1
Hey everybody

I do not have a specific question or a problem. I’m just writing to share my experience and thoughts 🙂

So I have been chatting with a guy I met online. He seemed a sweet and funny guy. He said in his profile that he is perfect man with a few minor flaws. So I asked about what makes a man perfect and which are his flaws. We managed to send only a few messages, when he disappeared for 2 weeks or so. Then he came back, saying he had some problems with his account and mentioned that his flaw is he is kind of a sex addict. So I took it as a total joke and kind of joked around and made fun of it, like how does he relieve his addiction etc. So he said that he thought I could help him out etcetc, so he basically is talking about massages and wine and so on and always hinting we should have sex, though sometimes I’m not even sure about him hinting about sex, maybe I jus think he is hinting it 😄. Still, I’m taking it as a joke. He does not seem to be one of those guys out there just for sex, but who knows. So I told him I’m not that kind of a girl and maybe I could go out with him to have a tea in a public place, but it would be in June, when I have more time in my hands. But we kept on messaging. Anyway, I have no idea what kind of guy he is, I have no intention sleeping with him, but I’m just curious about the humanbeing. I have a hard time believing that he is only after sex, just the joking way he is writing and that someone would stick around so long (we’ve been chatting now for a week, every day he comes to say hey, what’s up and good night etc). Especially that he has like more than a thousand friends in facebook (it’s a huge number in our country) and he could take who ever on the dating site. So I thought maybe we could do the meeting sooner, offered this weekend to him, but apparently he has to work. Fine by me. I’m just so curious, what would he be in real life 😄 Especially that he said he is all talk in messenger but rather shy in person at first, who knows, maybe maybe not.

Anyway, he is 27. He has Gemini sun, Taurus moon, Taurus Mercury, Aries venus and Pisces mars. Gemini sun should be rather player and adventurous guy, right, and Aries venus should be all about the chase, fun, sex, but also should get bored easily? But would the Taurus and pisces placements soften those traits a bit?

I am 27, too. I have sun in Aqua, thus my curiosity about meeting this weird guy I guess. My pisces moon should go well with his Taurus moon. Not so sure about my Capricorn placements though (mercury, venus and mars).

I once dated a Gemini sun, Leo moon, Taurus mercury, Aries venus and Gemini mars man for 2 years. It was a great relationship, we had lots of fun, he was very adventurous, fun, caring and loving (though not in a suffocating way). He was also rather romantics, lit candles sometimes etc, his idea was to go take some pictures of us etc. but he never brought me flowers or gifts. Once, for my birthday he gave me flowers, but thats all. We both knew we really liked and loved each other, but we never actually spoke about our feelings. We said once we love each other. Okey, once or twice he did confess to me, saying how deeply in he is, tears falling down and all, but he was drunk and it was after a fight. He was 24-25 at the time and I was his first girl in terms of relationship and sex. I was really surprised when I found out about it, because he seemed like a guy who was very experienced and could talk out any girl. Anyway, eventually it did not work out, because he got rather jealous with no reason (Leo moon perhaps?) and it hurt me, then I realized we actually lacked emotional connection too and he did not like the idea of me going to a university in another city, which I did anyway. So being a month in Uni, I decided to broke it off. Sometimes I regret it, because he was such a nice guy. He has a new girl and a kid now, six years later 🙂 So, the story got me think about what I have read about gemini sun and also aries venus.

Are they really such players and looking for a lot of sex and get bored easily?
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Lugeja
@Lugeja
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 11 · Topics: 1
Oh, and about Gemini guys more. I recently dated for a very short time a Gemini. He is younger than me, 23. And I guess I did not have the right feelings and he was kind of half jobless and did not know what to do with his life, it was kind of a turn-off for me. Anyway, I know I could get a bit clingy, in the beginning at least. Though I'm working on it, got a lot better in this department 😄 but, boy, was that guy clingy! Never thought of a Gemini with aqua Moon could be like this, according to stuff I've been reading. His Venus was in cancer though, maybe it was the reason. But it was awful. I mean where ever we were, he always had to put his arm around me. Always! There was not a second the arm was not there... And when we were not together, he constantly messaged me, like what are you doing, what's up, what are you doing now. OMG. Moreover, we had nothing to talk about, he was so silent, when I tried to raise some topics, nothing really came out from him in person, on messenger he was only constantly asking what was I doing. So I broke it off, but we are still friends or so. Although I'm considering breaking it off too. He confessed that he was so shy around me that he thought 5 times before he said anything, thus the talking problem. Now, when the pressure is obviously off, he keeps talking and talking (on messenger) and sending me funny facts, videos, pictures. I'm going crazy, it's too much 😄 when was it, when I actually needed this 😄
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Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by nanobyte
If he says that he just wants sex, assume that he just wants sex, and is doing whatever he can to get the sex.

Listen to men, they usually say what they want and mean. It's actually women who usually twist it around to mean something that it doesn't, getting their own hopes up, and then feeling a false sense of betrayal in the end.
True. How sad!

But men don't say what they want - it's rare occurrence. You know that right?
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Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by nanobyte
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by nanobyte
If he says that he just wants sex, assume that he just wants sex, and is doing whatever he can to get the sex.

Listen to men, they usually say what they want and mean. It's actually women who usually twist it around to mean something that it doesn't, getting their own hopes up, and then feeling a false sense of betrayal in the end.
True. How sad!

But men don't say what they want - it's rare occurrence. You know that right?
Aside from your cap husband whom you've been with for 30+ years, and your Scorpio affair who you've been with for 10+ years, how much experience do you actually have with members of the opposite sex? How many men have you dated and been in happy and functional relationships with? I'm taking a stab in the dark and going to say 0. You're not happy with the cap and you're sure as hell not functional with the Scorpio.

You know that if you were smart, and chose truth over living your lie with the Scorpio, you could very easily find out what his intentions are, right? In a 10 minute meeting, face to face.

But you choose to continue to live in fantasy and delusion because the truth hurts, doesn't it? It hurts you to think that he could never want to be with you, so you just avoid that voice deep down telling you that's the truth, don't you?

If you are smart, and know what you are doing and know how to effectively communicate, men will be very upfront with you. You just have to be willing to accept the truth, and that's too hard for the majority of people.

You know that right?
click to expand

You are wrong in many aspects here.

When our affair begins - he told me that it will never become anything serious due to our marital status. I've agreed because it made sense back then.

Later when I think we both got more into each other than expected - we talked about ever being together. He asked me to imagine telling my husband I am leaving him. I've never got back to him with an answer. Because i couldn't imagine saying it. And I saw his smirking knowing that!

Then I asked him to try to work out his rs with his wife. After a week he said it's not an option.

So we ARE talking about it all the time.

It's just our contacts are so sporadic and only happening since last April.

How many married people you know who have met and divorced and remarried?

It's stupid! We are an adults! We are getting to know each other and both of us want to be together. However you don't just take off and leave after so many years!

I know exactly what is going to happen!

I am not sure when but he will leave.

He is losing it! His emotional state is far from normal and one can only take so much! For last month he lost 2 sizes!

But he is strong enough to take crap for a long time but not forever.

Don't worry. I'll keep you posted.

Or I will just dissapear due to not enough time to post🙂
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Lugeja
@Lugeja
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 11 · Topics: 1
Hey! How does the only sex thing works? I've never done that. Maybe I should consider it. I mean, is it like we just meet up, have sex, go our separate ways, no communication, expectations, then we just meet up again, have sex and again and again? How do you avoid the feelings and stuff? I mean, I cannot promise I don't get feelings, or neither can he promise that. What if one of the two gets feelings and the other one doesn't?

Btw, I asked the dude, has he ever found someone on the dating site this way. He said yes, but not for a long time, because it usually has turned out that they do not suit to eachother and it has been both-sided.

Well.. I actually thought that if one just wants to have sex, it really doesn't matter with who one is having it with 😄 but yeah, I don't know, cause I've never wanted or needed just and only sex.
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Lugeja
@Lugeja
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 11 · Topics: 1
Posted by TaurusBull1977
Posted by pinkbird03
His profile says he's a perfect guy with a few flaws.... he wants every girl to ask him what his flaws are so he can immediately open up about wanting sex...

He's not looking for a relationship
This^^^

He's a seasoned player.

Advertise the best qualities.

Arouse their curiosity about the negative qualities.

State it.

Get what you want.

click to expand

Haha, nice. Well, maybe I will try and challenge him. And myself. Let's see, how long can I say no or how long does he have patience 😄

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Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by nanobyte
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by nanobyte
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by nanobyte
If he says that he just wants sex, assume that he just wants sex, and is doing whatever he can to get the sex.

Listen to men, they usually say what they want and mean. It's actually women who usually twist it around to mean something that it doesn't, getting their own hopes up, and then feeling a false sense of betrayal in the end.
True. How sad!

But men don't say what they want - it's rare occurrence. You know that right?
Aside from your cap husband whom you've been with for 30+ years, and your Scorpio affair who you've been with for 10+ years, how much experience do you actually have with members of the opposite sex? How many men have you dated and been in happy and functional relationships with? I'm taking a stab in the dark and going to say 0. You're not happy with the cap and you're sure as hell not functional with the Scorpio.

You know that if you were smart, and chose truth over living your lie with the Scorpio, you could very easily find out what his intentions are, right? In a 10 minute meeting, face to face.

But you choose to continue to live in fantasy and delusion because the truth hurts, doesn't it? It hurts you to think that he could never want to be with you, so you just avoid that voice deep down telling you that's the truth, don't you?

If you are smart, and know what you are doing and know how to effectively communicate, men will be very upfront with you. You just have to be willing to accept the truth, and that's too hard for the majority of people.

You know that right?
You are wrong in many aspects here.

When our affair begins - he told me that it will never become anything serious due to our marital status. I've agreed because it made sense back then.

Later when I think we both got more into each other than expected - we talked about ever being together. He asked me to imagine telling my husband I am leaving him. I've never got back to him with an answer. Because i couldn't imagine saying it. And I saw his smirking knowing that!

Then I asked him to try to work out his rs with his wife. After a week he said it's not an option.

So we ARE talking about it all the time.

It's just our contacts are so sporadic and only happening since last April.

How many married people you know who have met and divorced and remarried?

It's stupid! We are an adults! We are getting to know each other and both of us want to be together. However you don't just take off and leave after so many years!

I know exactly what is going to happen!

I am not sure when but he will leave.

He is losing it! His emotional state is far from normal and one can only take so much! For last month he lost 2 sizes!

But he is strong enough to take crap for a long time but not forever.

Don't worry. I'll keep you posted.

Or I will just dissapear due to not enough time to post🙂
Well obviously the number of people I know who got divorced and remarried is a very large number.... but the number of people I know who got divorced and remarried to the side chick of 10+ years??

I never met one of those before, so 0.

Are you saying that you believe you will be the first?

click to expand

I didn't mean people don't divorce and remarried. How quickly people you know HAVE remarried? In a few months?

Should you live together after getting out of unsuccessful marriage?

And no! I am a not side chick for 10 years!

I had no idea for first 5!!!

And atter that things were moving so slow - it's been only 1 year of serious rs.

And what gets me every time is how few people here seems living my life with me.

?

I don't think I would care that much if anyone here had an affair to the point you guys do. Why is that? Curiosity?
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Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by nanobyte
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by nanobyte
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by nanobyte
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by nanobyte
If he says that he just wants sex, assume that he just wants sex, and is doing whatever he can to get the sex.

Listen to men, they usually say what they want and mean. It's actually women who usually twist it around to mean something that it doesn't, getting their own hopes up, and then feeling a false sense of betrayal in the end.
True. How sad!

But men don't say what they want - it's rare occurrence. You know that right?
Aside from your cap husband whom you've been with for 30+ years, and your Scorpio affair who you've been with for 10+ years, how much experience do you actually have with members of the opposite sex? How many men have you dated and been in happy and functional relationships with? I'm taking a stab in the dark and going to say 0. You're not happy with the cap and you're sure as hell not functional with the Scorpio.

You know that if you were smart, and chose truth over living your lie with the Scorpio, you could very easily find out what his intentions are, right? In a 10 minute meeting, face to face.

But you choose to continue to live in fantasy and delusion because the truth hurts, doesn't it? It hurts you to think that he could never want to be with you, so you just avoid that voice deep down telling you that's the truth, don't you?

If you are smart, and know what you are doing and know how to effectively communicate, men will be very upfront with you. You just have to be willing to accept the truth, and that's too hard for the majority of people.

You know that right?
You are wrong in many aspects here.

When our affair begins - he told me that it will never become anything serious due to our marital status. I've agreed because it made sense back then.

Later when I think we both got more into each other than expected - we talked about ever being together. He asked me to imagine telling my husband I am leaving him. I've never got back to him with an answer. Because i couldn't imagine saying it. And I saw his smirking knowing that!

Then I asked him to try to work out his rs with his wife. After a week he said it's not an option.

So we ARE talking about it all the time.

It's just our contacts are so sporadic and only happening since last April.

How many married people you know who have met and divorced and remarried?

It's stupid! We are an adults! We are getting to know each other and both of us want to be together. However you don't just take off and leave after so many years!

I know exactly what is going to happen!

I am not sure when but he will leave.

He is losing it! His emotional state is far from normal and one can only take so much! For last month he lost 2 sizes!

But he is strong enough to take crap for a long time but not forever.

Don't worry. I'll keep you posted.

Or I will just dissapear due to not enough time to post🙂
Well obviously the number of people I know who got divorced and remarried is a very large number.... but the number of people I know who got divorced and remarried to the side chick of 10+ years??

I never met one of those before, so 0.

Are you saying that you believe you will be the first?


I didn't mean people don't divorce and remarried. How quickly people you know HAVE remarried? In a few months?

Should you live together after getting out of unsuccessful marriage?

And no! I am a not side chick for 10 years!

I had no idea for first 5!!!

And atter that things were moving so slow - it's been only 1 year of serious rs.

And what gets me every time is how few people here seems living my life with me.

?

I don't think I would care that much if anyone here had an affair to the point you guys do. Why is that? Curiosity?
Well you are a side chick of 5 years then. How can you not know for the first 5 years though, when he told you that it would be just sex due to marital status at the start of the affair? Where did you even meet this guy? When you talk about him, I picture you as a receptionist or cleaning lady, and he as a UPS guy or mail man dropping off a package at your place of employment or something.

People here are interested because this is what you post about here, gemitati. You have created this level of intrigue for the people of dxp. Maybe they too are considering an affair or something. Maybe they already have one themselves. I don't know. Me... I am just bored.

I don't care much about your situation. But when you make posts saying "men don't say what they want, you know that right?" I have to consider the source...... and why you are saying that, and should you be telling other people these things based on your bizarre situation..... In general, I am trying to help you understand your truth. It is clear to so many. The sooner you realize that it's never going to happen, the sooner you can begin to live your life afresh. How long will you wait around for this guy to divorce his wife?

click to expand

Well. We've met for business. He was my supplier. And we were meeting at least 3 times per week.

I fell for him in an instant I saw him. He said feelings were mutual. However we both though we were happily married!

So we had developed awesome friendship with lots of talk and laughter so it was great!

Then due to restructuring of business my husband couldn't go with me anymore and I became experienced enough to do business on my own.

After about a year my love came out and opened up and I was shocked!

He told me I didn't look happy and once I said something that pierced his heart and he felt like crying and he doesn't cry!

So he said 'at that moment I felt I am seriously care about you'...

And things started! Of course seeing him wasn't easy anymore.

And I am waiting. There isn't time frame because I've never wanted anyone and never will. He is the only one.

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Lugeja
@Lugeja
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 11 · Topics: 1
Posted by nanobyte
Posted by Lugeja
Hey! How does the only sex thing works? I've never done that. Maybe I should consider it. I mean, is it like we just meet up, have sex, go our separate ways, no communication, expectations, then we just meet up again, have sex and again and again? How do you avoid the feelings and stuff? I mean, I cannot promise I don't get feelings, or neither can he promise that. What if one of the two gets feelings and the other one doesn't?

Btw, I asked the dude, has he ever found someone on the dating site this way. He said yes, but not for a long time, because it usually has turned out that they do not suit to eachother and it has been both-sided.

Well.. I actually thought that if one just wants to have sex, it really doesn't matter with who one is having it with 😄 but yeah, I don't know, cause I've never wanted or needed just and only sex.
You're an aquarian, so it should be easy for you. But I also see that you have a very unfortunate moon placement - sorry! That is probably why the FWB thing doesn't work for you, so I would not recommend it to you, ignorantly so basing it on astrology, which is why we are here in the first place. Pisces moon.. emotions and delusion and friends with benefit? That's just a cocktail that shouldn't be mixed. I get anxiety and annoyed just thinking about what a mess that would be.

The way you describe it in the first few sentences of your post is how it normally works, yes. You aren't guaranteed that you (or he) won't gain feelings, that's just the thing. Usually one party does, yes I have been on the receiving end of that nasty emotional blow.

It sounds like you already made your mind up about the gemini though. You are going to meet him and probably bang him. Just remember if you choose that route, that it was your choice, and he can't be demonized because the dude straight up told you that he wanted sex.

Just my two cents~

click to expand

Yeah, I know my Pisces moon... I also considered not meeting the guy at all, due to exactly what you said - my Moon. but then I thought I feel sorry for him if I don't go 😄 I put this on my Moon too. But yeah, I think I'm gonna go and maybe bang him too, cause I'm seriously tired of my Moon issues and what my aqua to live for once. I'll try to keep everything in mind what you people have said here and try to shut my Moon up 😄
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Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by Lugeja
So I just met the guy 😄 at night, he was coming from work. Asked me out so I finally decided to go. Nothing happened, just talked about half an hour. Really funny guy. Absolutely not my type, so I would never consider having a relationship with him, but so funny that I will definitely consider having the no strings attached kind of fun 😄
You seem like neurotic type. Are you giggling all the time?
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Posted by nanobyte
If he says that he just wants sex, assume that he just wants sex, and is doing whatever he can to get the sex.

Listen to men, they usually say what they want and mean. It's actually women who usually twist it around to mean something that it doesn't, getting their own hopes up, and then feeling a false sense of betrayal in the end.
Gemini man: I want to wine and dine and fuck you

Op: Hmmm he must be a sex addict and this is his cry for help. I KNOW I can save him.

*gets emotionally invested*
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Lugeja
@Lugeja
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 11 · Topics: 1
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Lugeja
So I just met the guy 😄 at night, he was coming from work. Asked me out so I finally decided to go. Nothing happened, just talked about half an hour. Really funny guy. Absolutely not my type, so I would never consider having a relationship with him, but so funny that I will definitely consider having the no strings attached kind of fun 😄
You seem like neurotic type. Are you giggling all the time?

click to expand

Only when I'm texting, writing in forums. Not so much in real life.



😄
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Lugeja
@Lugeja
8 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 11 · Topics: 1
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by nanobyte
If he says that he just wants sex, assume that he just wants sex, and is doing whatever he can to get the sex.

Listen to men, they usually say what they want and mean. It's actually women who usually twist it around to mean something that it doesn't, getting their own hopes up, and then feeling a false sense of betrayal in the end.
Gemini man: I want to wine and dine and fuck you

Op: Hmmm he must be a sex addict and this is his cry for help. I KNOW I can save him.

*gets emotionally invested*
click to expand

Yep, that's me. Been with an alcoholic and other mentally rather unstable guys due to that trait of mine. Someone has to save the world, right?
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Posted by Lugeja
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by nanobyte
If he says that he just wants sex, assume that he just wants sex, and is doing whatever he can to get the sex.

Listen to men, they usually say what they want and mean. It's actually women who usually twist it around to mean something that it doesn't, getting their own hopes up, and then feeling a false sense of betrayal in the end.
Gemini man: I want to wine and dine and fuck you

Op: Hmmm he must be a sex addict and this is his cry for help. I KNOW I can save him.

*gets emotionally invested*
Yep, that's me. Been with an alcoholic and other mentally rather unstable guys due to that trait of mine. Someone has to save the world, right?
click to expand

Staaaap

Whose gonna save you tho?