Is this normal? (Page 2)

my leo will express emotion intensely and impulsively, it jus comes out of nowhere but I think once he expresses it, his libra tendencies kick in and he merges away to go and think it thru, he disappears for a few days and I don't give him flack about that but it explains why he tends to do that, I also feel like when the intensity is too much for him to bear, it messes with his heart and this drives him to be by himself to figure it all out, thats why I said you 2 seem to have the same kind of thinking pattern.

"Relax, go with the flow and let the friendship progress on its own, if he senses you need too much attention, he will more than likely tire and move on.

take it from someone who made some mistakes, I'm on track thanks to my confidente but it took me some time to wrap my head around this creature"

Oh yeah!!! Im with you on that LOL

Go with the flow I say....hard to do sometimes but geeze you'll turn yourself inside out if you don't just relax - trust me....grrrr@me being a Leo and impatient!!

Actually somebody posted that them knowing and dealing with a Libra taught them so much and made them "grow up"...(can't be bothered looking for it now - yup, Lazy Leo LOL), that is exactly how I feel re: my experience.....I've learnt so much patience, understanding and that time means nothing. All good stuff 🙂

Everthing everyone has said so far about Libra's is spot on. Us Libras love our freedom. The difference between immature and mature Libras is that the former abuse their freedom and the latter realize that it comes with a cirtain responsibility to have control over ourselves and those people are very balanced. They will be very free spirited creatures but they will excersize it in very rational ways.

"I have found libras to be VERY JELOUSE creatures. Why is that?"

By nature that is definately not the case. EVERYONE is jelous to some extent, no one completely lacks jelousy even Libras who come pretty damned close. The thing is that we very rarely get jelous so if you have known one to be there were special circumstances involved.

I would bet a thousand bucks that if you see a jelous libra it is because their partner is controlling or demanding. If someone limmits our freedoms we do it right back. We are not a vendictive sign, but we are a defensive sign and we will meet people who try to control us head on and make them fold.

So I understand correctly what you all are trying to tell me is that if I want to keep getting the attention I was once getting then I have to pull the rope back. It's a shame that I have to play games but if thats what it's going to take then oh well. And if all goes well I'll let him in on my little scheme when were 80. Then he can realize that all his life he thought he was chasing after me when I was the one holding the strings to this little puppet show. Now this is where you guys accuse me of being a manipulative cancer but does anyone else have a better Idea. You guys say ease off I call it putting up an act. And if thats what I gotta do to prove a point then so be it. And who knows, maybe in the process of making him crazy by doing my thing I might meet someone who accepts me as I am. Theres all this talk of "cutting slack and being patient" well I think I deserve better than putting up with someones crap.

HappyCrab do what makes you a Happy Crab...if you don't want to play the "games" or sit on that roller coaster ride that these guys seem to put one on, then the best thing to do is to walk away now but if you feel he is "the one" then you'll need to be very patient.

You could always look at my case where I've done all the suggested things and 8 months later?? I still have no r/ship to speak of but a best friend in many ways....its up to you as to what you want to do.

To be honest though, I don't really think they are "playing games"...that's just the way they are and unless you are prepared to understand/work with that, then you're going to have a long, hard and maybe even painful road with this one.

"well I think I deserve better than putting up with someones crap"

ABSOLUTELY!!!!

If you think that is what he is giving you yes!!

"Don't forget that sometimes introducing sex too early can turn these guys off."

Hmmm, I don't know about that. It turns me on and gives me less work to do...lol.

"Don't forget that sometimes introducing sex too early can turn these guys off."

"Don't forget that sometimes introducing sex too early can turn these guys off."

oops...trying to figure out some of the html code...didn't mean to post that twice.

* when your processing your emotions do you tend to fall back and be to yourself for some time?

Yes. I try to escape the situation for a few days to see how I feel. I also seem to have a delayed experienced. I may not realize I am upset for several days, until I have had time to process.

Is this were the aloofness comes into play?

I am pretty detached about things. I tend to process through my mind so if things don't work out, work, play, etc, I tend to not take it personally.

* we bumped heads alot, no talking, no backing down

This will turn me off. I work with a lot of guys with huge egos and they often feel the need to "bust my chops". (hee at my language there.) But they will feel the need to put me in my place, which is stupid, because I am usually the person in charge and am not interested in power struggles but getting everyone working together to finish the project. Because I am in charge and they aren't, there are a lot of ego clashes and power struggles. I know a lot of these same guys are (or rather they THINK are) sexually/romantically interested in me, but they don't realize how constantly being challenged pushes me away. Some of them have admitted that they think it is fun to constantly challenge me. (They miss the big picture that 12 guys trying to dominate you is really not fun. I digress.)

Yet it is the guy that has my back and respects me and is respectful that has my interest. He makes me feel understood because if there is a miscommunication, it isn't a power struggle ... it is merely a miscommunication and we clear it up. He is supportive and I feel like he is on my side. Sometimes he will just put his hand on my back or do something small to make me feel supported. (In fact, I can get quite maudlin about it as it means that much to me.)

What I am getting at is I think people want to be understood. I think people want a partner who understands and accepts them and supports them.

Power struggles aren't fun. For me, I want a partner that gets me and has my back who is on my team. I don't want someone who fundamentally misunderstands who I am and what I am trying to do, who constantly challenges me. Life is full of squabbles. I don't want unnecessary squabbles in my intimate/romantic life. I rather be alone than deal with that.

Know what I mean?

* but we are a defensive sign and we will meet people who try to control us head on and make them fold.

Very well said Nic!

This is sort of what I was so ineloquently trying to get at in my above post. People who try to control me make me feel misunderstood. They push me away. I will stand in my power and neutralize the situation but they will never have my heart because they fundamentally don't understand me and how to make me happy.

btw I never thought of us in terms of being a defensive sign but I think you are bang on about that. I don't seek out power struggles at all. I don't care who is in charge. I rather have everyone working as a happy little team moving towards the group goal.

If someone is trying to control or dominate me, I fight back. (Also if someone is trying to control or dominate someone else.)

Crab

* what you all are trying to tell me is that if I want to keep getting the attention I was once getting then I have to pull the rope back.

No. I am pretty much saying don't engage in power struggles. I am saying have a balanced life. Let him be part of your life not all your life.

When people engage in power struggles in a relationship, no one wins.

* Theres all this talk of "cutting slack and being patient" well I think I deserve better than putting up with someones crap.

If this is your attitude, then I can guarantee you won't be happy with this guy and this guy won't be happy with you. It is just going to be emotional drama central and no one will be happy.

The thing is you can't make anyone do anything or feel anything. The only thing you can do is have an open heart and be the best you. Make yourself happy. Keep your life in check. And try to understand the other people that enter your life.

Perhaps I am the only one that thinks a romantic partners should be a team and on the same side, but that is what I am holding out for, because, for me, life is too short to be with someone demanding who doesn't get me.

No you are not the only one that things that romantic partners should be a team. I agree however sometimes men take things for granted and you have to show them by your actions how much self respect you have for them to see it.

I am going to conduct an experiement...From yesterday at 8pm forward I will never dial his number or send him a text message again. If he wants to get ahold of me he can call. And when he does call all I will speak of is how great and wonderful life is and is going to be. WITH OR WITHOUT HIM!! I'll keep you guys posted.

I thought you said you were tired of playing games, Crab?

I am confused. Sometimes you guys call them games and other times you call it giving space or cutting slack. Which is it?

***So when I decided to stop ditching and being such a B it seems like he hasn't been so eager in tracking me down. Do I have to stay wild and crazy to keep his interest? I know he doesn't want me dating others because we have spoken of being exclusive so I don't want to do that. Or should I?***

Libras like to know you have a life and not too clingy and revolve your every being around them per se. They like to know that you are okay with them having their freedom to breath. They need that and so do you.
Believe me once they become seriously in a relationship with you, there will be times they won't want you out of their site...

Yeah, they can be jealous even when they are not in relationship.

Did you guys talk about being exclusive seriously?...

***libra's jealous, I don't think so but if thats your experience I won't dispute it, dated a libra and I didn't find this to be so.***

Uhhh, they can be very jealous (the men) even when they don't have the right to be (when they are or aren't in a relationship with you) this is my experience with all six I was envolved with. They seem to be jealous of a woman whom they may actually really like, but are just not ready or capable of making it a permanent thing. They don't want you to be jealous though. The DEFINITELY get jealous.

***Our natures are aloof and somewhat fickle. We tend to have very full lives and process our emotions through our head not our heart.***

LS, I can agree with that. If you are a partner of a Libra you have to truly understand this and not make it a big deal. Accept them for who they are or move on... Anyone that is. If it isn't detrimental to anyone.

Tiki33, I know Libras seem not to be emotional outwardly, but they can be very emotional with particular signs. Libra does process through thought more so than emotion, but certain signs can definitely bring out the emotions in a Libra(man). Like me, a scorpio woman. I have always been able to come in touch with a Libra man's emotional side.

Ok guys.. I just got a call from the "ex" who I guess he's still involved with. Just goes to show to always trust my instinct.

***I would bet a thousand bucks that if you see a jelous libra it is because their partner is controlling or demanding. If someone limmits our freedoms we do it right back. We are not a vendictive sign, but we are a defensive sign and we will meet people who try to control us head on and make them fold.***

I don't know Nic, I have had a couple Libras straight out say, "It makes me kind of jealous when you hang out with other male/male friends of yours" or, I went to a wedding where girls and guys were out of town. One said, "Wow I can't beleive I am getting jealous that you are going out of town and all those guys are going to be there too." I wasn't in a relationship with neither of them... FWB's not a relationship at all though. I didn't control them. We would just get together whenever we were both available. Outside of that, I could care less what they did.

Happycrab, what was the call convo about? His ex? Oh, then, it really seems that he isn't emotionally available to be involved with you. Libras can go back and forth with an ex for quite awhile if they aren't completely over them. I have experienced this first hand.

Did you not read my last post?

Why would you get a call from his ex? How did she get your phone number? Do you know her? Or was she going through his phone?

The poor thing was in tears telling me that they still talk and she's trying to move on and he wont let her. She kept trying to ask me questions but I didn't give her much detail. I felt bad for the girl because I was in that same situation before and its not easy. I just told her not to let some a hole guy do this to her and that she should be strong and I really have nothing to do with it. I told her that if it wasn't me it would have been someone else.

I'm sure she called him in her rage., I bet he's really embarassed right now.

It seems like there both trying to move on and there both having a hard time letting go but thats really not fair for me.

"Don't forget that sometimes introducing sex too early can turn these guys off."

I can see where HP may be coming from with this. I think that the ones that disagreed are coming from Libra / Passionate sign perspectives. Not that Taurus aren't passionate, I was going with a passionate intensity thing, not just in sex but in actions, as well. I think that there is a confidence in it that Libras find intriguing and perhaps to a degree intoxicating, as they are coming from a perspective that needs to objectify and understand their emotions before acting on them.

That being said, there is another perspective... One where a person attempts to introduce sex too early not out of confidence, but out of a lack of it. For these people, it is not allowing yourself to be caught up in the moment and confidently act on the passions that you feel for the person, and by extension a natural (though, perhaps quick) progression of the relationship between the two people, but something else entirely. I doubt any Libra (or any person for that matter), relationship wise, wants to be the "oh, anyone will do, and you just happen to be here" person. And, on the other perspective, I really doubt they would want to be on the receiving end of someone who is attempting to force the relationship to progress to the sex level unnaturally, thinking that will "secure" their relationship. Given the Libra love of "freedom" and not being controlled, I find it doubtful they would see that as anything but attempting to control them, as well as very insecure. Libras are very intune with other people, and I find it inprobable they would have a problem discerning between the two and quickly making the correct conclusions about the intentions of the other person's actions (even if the other person is not capable of it themselves).

So, I really think that it depends on the perspective. Perhaps HP's Libra has come from the perspective where in the past women have attempted to "force" the relationship to the sex level prematurely, where as some Libras like LP are coming from the "passion" perspective.

I am just going to say it because I feel I'm right:

You were the booty call. He wanted to see if he could still charm women. Once he got you and your guard went down, it helped to stroke his ego.

Your story seems to have gaps in it. Why would this girl call you? How did she get your phone number? Sounds like you're inviting drama.

I do know who she is and she knows who I am. We have mutual friends and I think word must have gotten back to her. No idea how she got my number. I'm sure one of our mutual firends gave it to her.

"Theres all this talk of "cutting slack and being patient" well I think I deserve better than putting up with someones crap."

I gotta go with LS on this one. I don't think that you are cut out for a relationship with a Libra, or perhaps anyone at this point, nothing personal. One the one hand, there IS sticking up for yourself and having the self-confidence to know that you deserve better when you are being mistreated, but on the other, there is being overly emotionally reactive and being emotionally immature, which is what it sounds like you are doing. One, he didn't respond in allotted time frame, you found that to be wrong, so it is over. Oh, but then he had a reason, so it is not over, we are okay. But, now it is "putting up with someones crap", but you still want to attempt a relationship with him... Uh, okay...? And, now, you are going to "test" him.

Choosing to be in a relationship with someone means trusting them. Yes, trust is earned, but for trust to be able to be earned, some must first be extended. Either you found his actions to be wrong and should end the relationship, or you did not and should give the man the benefit of the doubt. The benefit of the doubt is just that. It is not puposefully placing someone is a position to "prove" themselves. It is dropped the issue and moving on. I don't mean that if the actions continue that you shouldn't re-visit the issue, but as it stands now, you accept that the explanation was probably valid and you move on...water under the bridge. The problem here lies in your persepective. Right now, you are coming from the perspective where you are attempting to establish a relationship with someone the you obviously feel may be a liar and not value you. Obviously, from your actions, that thought lies somewhere in your brain (consciously or subconsciously), and yet, you continue to seem to want to try for something more with him.

Why would you have a desire to have a relationship with someone that you think on some level is "bad"? Even if a person wanted to try, someone cannot "prove" themselves in that situation, because all you are truly looking for him to "prove" is that he is "bad". As I said, trust is earned, but for trust to be able to be earned, some must first be extended. If you do not willingly "offer" to see the "good" in him, instead of the "bad", then you will never be able to. All the "good" he does will be disregarded, because you aren't looking for the "good", you are looking for the "bad". Your "test" is not a test to prove himself "good", but a test to prove himself "bad" or not prove himself "bad" YET. The "test" will never end, it will just be extended.

I am not saying to disregard mistreatment. I am just saying to make a judgement to attempt to trust the man or not. Make a judgement whether his actions warrant still extending your trust. If so, then do it and attempt to have a relationship with him. But, if not, then you will never be able to trust him not matter what he does. Accept that and walk away.

***Ok guys.. I just got a call from the "ex" who I guess he's still involved with. Just goes to show to always trust my instinct.***

This is the last post I see. Hence, what was the convo with the ex? He isn't emotionally available to you if he back and forth with the ex.

No not at all inviting drama. I did not answer any of her questions. No gaps in my story its very straight forward. I sent him a text saying: "WOW! You really shocked me. I just I should have known that it was too good to be true. Good luck and take care."

"Perhaps I am the only one that thinks a romantic partners should be a team and on the same side, but that is what I am holding out for, because, for me, life is too short to be with someone demanding who doesn't get me."

I don't think that you are alone in that. I absolutely agree (omg, don't pass out 😉).

Though, I think that with the people you are talking about, it is probably considered "fun" to them, or "flirting". Libras are an air sign, and what may be fun or flirty to another type would probably be seen as "drama" to an air sign. I like to "play" in my relationships, but not emotionally. It IS a bit too much drama... Life already has enough drama as it is... Maybe that is my Gem Moon?

This all goes to show that I was extra sensitive and defensive to this situation because my instincts radar was going off. Did you guys forget that us Cancers are extremely intuitive?

If I really meant that much to him at all he would try to work things out unless he is so embarassed that I caught him in such a lie.

My ex did the same thing to me so thats why I kinda understand his postion but it doesn't make things right. Maybe when the water settles and shes completely gone we can work things out.

"WOW! You really shocked me. I just I should have known that it was too good to be true. Good luck and take care."

That's dramatic don't you think? Instead of just leaving it alone, you sent that message hoping to get a response out of him.

No I just wanted him to know that this did affect me. Had I not sent this he would throw it in my face later and will tell me that I didn't care anyway so it's not so seriouse on my end. He should know how I feel.

you contradict yourself, sweetie. You say you sent him a text message telling him you thought it was too good to be true and for him to take care....in a guy's mind (and female's), that means "F*ck off and don't ever contact me again".

Then you just typed that when the water settles and the ex is gone, the two of you can work things out.

Make up your mind.

Well ofcourse thats what I'm going to say. What should I say? "oh its ok hunny that you were 2 timing with me and your ex. I understand. I am upset with good reason and if he doesn't want to fight to get me back then yes he's history.

Two timing? According to this post, you went out with him ONCE. So there was sex involved...

No not once we have been dating for a few months and yes sex was involved.

Happycap - Okay seeing that you never answered any of my questions about being in an actual relationship with this guy... Why all the drama? If the two of you aren't in a relationship than you really can't hold him to calling you constantly or anything else. Clearly, he isn't comitted to you - so there probably isn't a relationship in his mind with the two of you (still holding on to an ex) Let it go... You aren't in a relationship, so don't excpect anything from this.



***"WOW! You really shocked me. I just I should have known that it was too good to be true. Good luck and take care."***

I wouldn't be so dissapointed if he wasn't always trying to proclaim his fidelity and always expecting the same of me. What a joke.

***If I really meant that much to him at all he would try to work things out unless he is so embarassed that I caught him in such a lie.***

If you aren't in a relationship with this guy, it probably doesn't matter to him. He doesn't owe this to you.

Yes your right but its more the actions not the words. We agreed to be faithful and not see anyone else. Your right though I shouldnt take him so seriouse but I'm sure if the roles were reversed he would have been just as dissapointed and shocked as I am now.

Look on page one of this thread:
"Thats pretty rude considering we were more good friends than anything else. "

If you are just good friends, then why be upset about this? You two apparently didn't make it to the "I want to date just you" phase, so you can't be mad at him. He never fully committed to you in that sense.

There is obviously something going on still with this ex.

Happycrab - if you actually dated for a few months and if you still are when the ex called, then yeah, this is bad.

But, I have to agree with HP, you are contridicting yourself. Either you guys were exclusively dating or just sex buddies which is it?

If you were just hanging out and sex buddies, than he doesn't owe you anything and yes he might not want you seeing anyone else even if this is the case. However, he doesn't owe you anything.

HP, you should really consider dedective work. You da bomb gurl!!!

"Don't forget that sometimes introducing sex too early can turn these guys off."

Sex per se doesn't bother us. Sex with a whole series of expectations and demands too early does.

***If I really meant that much to him at all he would try to work things out unless he is so embarassed that I caught him in such a lie.***

It isn't about you. It is about where he is in his life.

A) This guy isn't making you happy.
b) Isn't ready or emotionally available

It has nothing to do with how great you are. Your greatness has nothing to do with his emotional availablility.

You just got caught in the cross-fires of someone else's emotional turmoil. It happens. I am pretty bullet riddled from the number of times it has happened to me in the past year.

Stop equating his treatment of you, to your worthiness. Accept that he is just who he is, it has nothing to do with you, you want and need more, he can't give it to you, so you aren't compatible.

It makes life so much easier.

QS, I grew up with a district attorney in my family. I learned this stuff from him! haha