Is this normal? (Page 3)

LS, it takes a libra to make it "stupid simple" I mean, it can't get no clearer than how you put it.

HP, I can tell.

We were not just sex buddies. When your in a relationship with someone there is also a friendship involved. I used the term friendsd because thats all we were in the beginning. Then things evolved into a relationship with expectaions and commitment. I know it's not my fault and I know I did nothing wrong. He should not have tried to act like mister innocent "all I do is work and go to my boys house". I would have not thought of it if he told me from the beginning his situation and whats going on. I did have bad feelings when he always tried to keep everything hush hush and when his phone rang hed tense up and turn it away before he looked at it. Yes I was in the cross fire. Maybe he did truly care for me but I think he should not have lied. I gave him a ton of space to work things out before he insisted that we make more of this relationship. And when I ask do libras tend to be jelouse its because this one was. He threw a fit when I had a conversation with his buddy about him and his girlfriend while he (not his buddy) was sleeping in my arms. What was I supposed to do stare at the wall? I'm just curiouse how he feels about all this and what he plans on doing next.

lol @ QS

I refuse to get bogged down by the details. A blessing and a curse. ha ha ha!

Crab

It doesn't matter what he does, doesn't do, wants to do, thinks of doing ... yadda, yadda.

In the perfect world, what sort of relationship would you like? How would the person treat you? What would you do together? What would the relationship look like?

***I'm just curiouse how he feels about all this and what he plans on doing next.***

ASK HIM

I understand how these things can happen. I'm sure I'll be hearing from him again. If not now then in a week or so. He is the clingy type. If he wasn't then he wouldn't have held on to that relationship for so long. She's probubly so horrified and devistated that she doesn't want anything to do with him right now. He needs a few days to recover from all this. Being in the dog house with 2 women at the same time isn't easy lol. Not that I'm looking for him to come back but an explanation would be nice. I'm sure he's got one. The guy has an explanation for everything. He is an attorney and loves to argue.

Happycrab, once he tells you then let him know what you need and want and that you won't settle for anything less and go get that. If someone is not treating you as you deserve, find someone who can... Love yourself first. Then true love will find you.

My weird little point is Don't Ask Him. Forget about him. Find someone who shares the same vision of romance as you do.

Or what LS said... It just seems as though Cap needed closure.

Oops crab needed closure, as in - between him and her.

Wait, you said you have been dating this guy for 3 months? Then why did you post this on 05/21/07 about your "VirGuy"?

5/21/2007 1:12:29 PM | ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.198
female

After finally letting go of my virguy and accepting that it's best that we just stay friends and actually being his buddy he SNAPS. Friday night we were all out and Virguy was there as well since we have the same circle of friends. He was doing his own thing and I was doing mine. A very handsome "friend" of mine showed up and we were both showing lots of interest in each other. I could tell that virguy did not like that at all. But too bad were just friends I am free to talk to whomever. After my friend left at the end of the night Virguy tells me he needs a ride home. On the way home he asks a million questions. Who are you dating? Who are you seeing? Who was that guy? I figured if he cared hed call more often. I take him home and he makes me stop like 3 streets away and tries putting the moves on me. I tell him NO and he gets mad and he gets out the car to walk home!!! When I called him to ask him which way to get out of his sub he says don't call me anymore and hangs up on me. It was like he just needed to get away from me as fast as he could before I saw an ounce of emotion come out of him. I was trying to take him home and like a fish out of water he needed out now.

What the heck was that all about??

There is no such thing as closure. When you are hurt, you are hurt. Nothing anyone is going to say will make it better. I mean she can ask him if she wants, but does it matter? No. Not really.

In someways, it just prolongs the whole thing. Keeps you tied to the drama.

She should just be honest about what she really wants. I bet that this guy isn't treating her that way. No one wants to the third in someone else's love affair.

So instead of fighting to make him something he isn't and can't be, she is better off looking for what she wants and finding someone who is compatible with her vision of love and romance. (Not in what they say but in what they do.)

or this one:


HappyCrab 4/23/2007 2:27:56 PM | ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.31
female

private message
other posts
So for those of you who were following my last post about my virguy dissappearing on me suddenly heres an update.

I was out to dinner on thursday night with my mom and ran into him with his friends. He said hello and was very happy to see me. The next day he called me a couple times and I met him up at the bar with the guys.

I wasn't going to mention a thing but he brought it up by telling me that he heard that I was talking to someone and thats why he left me alone. He said that he did not want to be "played" by anyone so it bothered him. This was not true at all and he did admit that he should have asked me first before he just stopped talking to me all together.

Does it sound like to you guys that this guy is trying to have his cake and eat it too or do you guys think he is trying to take things really really really slow by labeling us just friends while getting upset that I may have been talking to someone else. Even now that we cleared the air he is still distant and not as close as we were before. I think thats going to take time to regain the trust that I supposedly lost.

Get your stories straight, Crab. Everyone on the Libra knows I investigate if something appears fishy.

HP

Does it matter?

If you've been dating this Libra for 3 months, then you yourself were two timing because you were allegedly dating a Virgo.

No, not really. I just like finding inconsistencies...

Not necessarily. they may not have been exclusive the entire time. I am pretty sure she said that somewhere.

If you look at her posts, dating back a couple of months, she says she's been dating a Virgo for at least 6 months. Recently she posts about a Libra. She may not have been exclusive with the Libra, but she was two timing the Virgo (if her story is true, but I don't think she's being very truthful about her details with this Libra).

So crab, were you dating the Virguy while you were dating the Libra?

I gotta go with LS on this one, again. IF they were in a relationship together and he cheated on her, who the hell cares why... Obviously, the guy doesn't care about her. Either they were in a relationship and he cheated, or they were just screw buddies. Either way, they guy just doesn't care the way she does. Period. If she can't get the point from that, then she isn't going to get it from anything he tells her.

Cut your losses and move on. Find someone that treats you like you feel you should be treated. Who cares what the reason is, really... Is it going to change anything? If he cheated on you, it doesn't matter what his "excuse" is, he is still a sorry SOB. Plain and simple. If he wasn't in a relationship with you, then he was obviously in one with his "ex" and cheated on her with YOU. Again, who cares what the "excuse" is, he is still a sorry SOB. Plain and simple. And, if it was neither of those, well, then he obviously doesn't want with you what you want(ed) with him. Accept that and move on.

You said something before about it being an action thing more than a word thing. Well...his actions are quite clear now...

Impressive job, HP (again 😉)!

Ok sherlock Virguy and I have been over for a while now. We still see each other around since we also have mutual friends but that has been the extent of it. Forgive me for keeping my options open.

Oh and the plot thickens.our libra friend just called me telling me that his ex is psycho and she thinks she owns him and he is afraid that she might do something really drastic like hurting herself and he doesnt want her to do that. I think he's catering to her psychoness and only confusing her further

"I think he's catering to her psychoness and only confusing her further"

Well, he is certainly catering to someone's...

Whatever as long as its all out in the open. And I'm not the clueless party anymore then I'm happy. I know how to handle things from this point on. Wheres Virguy when I need him? lol jk.

Again another call proclaiming innocences. I am going to play the nice sweet rational understanding girlfriend but my eyes are open and hes being watched. He will also sence the distance from me. This is perfect. MUHAHHAHAHAHA. Totally kidding. Or am I?

But on a serious note I'll just go with the flow and see what else presents itself to me. I told him that I got his back no matter what and all I expect from him is complete and total honesty in return.

Look this guy has not been interested this whole time. If you intend to play games with him, he will catch onto it and you will be the one to regret your actions, not him.

Just let him go.

Then why does he keep calling and trying to explain himself. This is not a "booty call" type relationship. Theres no need to cut ties with anyone. I'll be available if he wants to talk but I'm not placing this relationship on the pedastal that I once did. He killed alot of trust and its going to take alot of work to earn it back. And if the ex issue gets bigger than it already is and hes willing to lose me for her then so be it.

***Ok sherlock Virguy and I have been over for a while now. We still see each other around since we also have mutual friends but that has been the extent of it. Forgive me for keeping my options open.***

Your posts are just a little misleading is all. HP found that post that was very recent about the virguy so it seemed you were seeing them both. Bottom line. The Libra doesn't want you for his woman. If you are fine being his side line _ _ then be that or walk away.

***Then why does he keep calling and trying to explain himself. This is not a "booty call" type relationship. Theres no need to cut ties with anyone. I'll be available if he wants to talk but I'm not placing this relationship on the pedastal that I once did. He killed alot of trust and its going to take alot of work to earn it back. And if the ex issue gets bigger than it already is and hes willing to lose me for her then so be it.****

Uhhh, he keeps calling, because you keep falling for the Okedoke...

What relationship? He clearly doesn't want one with you, wether he called you or not. However if you want to be foolish enough to be there at his beck and call while he is only there for the ex. then hey, who am I to discourage someone whose a glutten for punishment.

Need some self-esteem and value yourself better. He will continue to use you if you make yourself available to be used. He doesn't want you, have been running from you, but you keep clinging. So don't blame him if he dogs you continuously.

Simple.

Why do you want this drama in your life?

This whole thing would just turn me off. The guy is a Drama King. His life is a mess.

(scratches head.)

I don't get it. I guess this is why I am still single. lol!

I still don't think the question is does he want her or not. I think the question should be why does she want him?

"Happycap - Okay seeing that you never answered any of my questions about being in an actual relationship with this guy.."

Happycap

Happycap— Yeah, I am sure it was....

LS, correct again, why the hell would anyone want someone who doesn't want them in the way they want them—

QS

Even if he DID want her ... he is still an messy drama king. This guy is just not a good place to hang her heart. No stability at all.

Forgive you for keeping your options open...lol

Practice what you preach and forgive the Libra for keeping HIS options open as well.

"Practice what you preach and forgive the Libra for keeping HIS options open as well."

LOL!

LS Libra guy is a HUGE mess!! You guys are so right. It seems like everytime I talk to him he wants to bitch and argue about one thing or the other. I'm sorry but theres only room for one bitch in this relationship. I am a very happy bubbly person and he's just the opposite. He's very negative and loves drama. The more I look at things the more that I see that Libra's are alot like leo's DRAMA KINGS/QUEENS.

He tells me that he worries about her (the ex) well being and doesn't want her to do anything to herself because she has in the past. Well he can baby sit her all he wants and lose out on not only me but i'm sure meeting anyone else for that matter.

Can u guys believe that he has the nerve to call me and bitch and argue and blame me for the entire situation just because word got out in the first place that we were seeing eachother.

Sure we can believe it because you continue to allow it. As long as you take his calls and put on this act, he will continue to use you as his sounding board.

As far as the ex who allegedly threatens to do something to herself, I think she's full of it. It's not the ones who continually threaten to do something like hurt or kill themselves because they're just looking for attention. It's the quiet, reclusive ones you have to worry about.

The next time he says that his ex is threatening to hurt hurself or kill herself, tell him to go to the kitchen drawer and pull out a knife, hand it to her and dare her to do it...tell her "either you do it this time or you STFU"...I did that with my cousin. Sounds harsh, but really the ones who threaten like that are just looking for attention. I had another cousin who overdosed on drugs and left a suicide note...we never saw it coming.

Well is there an end? Anything I can do or not do besides cutting him off completely to make him stop..

Yesterday when he was sounding off I stayed very calm and my only response to his yelling and bitching was. Ok now what..I'm sorry you feel that way...How can we resolve this issue?.. And his response to that was that I'm acting like a hard ass and that I should stop playing dumb because I know excatly whats going on and I could have prevented the whole thing and how does he know that this wont happen again in the future. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

And as far as his ex making threats supposedly she has done something in the past so he is really careful about it. I think theres more to the story that hes not telling me and she has something on him that she's threating him with because he was trying really hard to convince her that we had nothing going on. Or she really isn't an ex and he doesn't want to get caught cheating. He claims that they just broke up not too long ago and this is all new and thats why he is tippy toeing around her.

He's a joke anyway either way I can careless. They desreve eachother!

holy shi% .

***Can u guys believe that he has the nerve to call me and cookiemonster and argue and blame me for the entire situation just because word got out in the first place that we were seeing eachother.***

Absolutely... I can believe it, because you were his chick on the side not his woman... He clearly wasn't over the ex and seemingly very much involved with her still, so he really didn't want her to know, because you weren't the important person in his life. So yeah I can believe it.

Well too bad you play with fire and you get burned. A real one would have told me that this is just for fun.

***I think theres more to the story that hes not telling me and she has something on him that she's threating him with because he was trying really hard to convince her that we had nothing going on. Or she really isn't an ex and he doesn't want to get caught cheating. He claims that they just broke up not too long ago and this is all new and thats why he is tippy toeing around her.

He's a joke anyway either way I can careless. They desreve eachother✨**

The only reason he was trying to convince her that he had nothing going on is because in his mind he didn't. You stated a million times he was trying to get away from you. So let him go. He wouldn't be tip toeing if he was done with her.

You care, you definitely care, but you shouldn't.

I went through the same thing with my ex where we were very much over and we still would talk everyday. Anytime either one of us would meet someone new the other would get jelouse and try to keep each other from starting anything new. It was as if we were each others property and we didn't want to move on yet we didn't want anyone else imposing on our "property".

I do believe they are broken up as in not together but they are still connected emotionally and not completely ready to sever ties.

Yes I care because I know what there going through because i have been in that mess and I know that it gets you nowhere. Its nothing but a waste of energy and its all very emotionally draining but I guess people need to make there own mistakes.

It's like a drug that your addicted too. You know its bad for you. It doesn't even make you feel good anymore. It's affecting everypart of your life since all your energy is directed towards getting the next fix. Yet for some reason you keep going back for more.

One day when he kicks the habbit things might be able to work out but as for now he has to deal with that and be single for a while for real before he jumps into anything new.

* they are still connected emotionally and not completely ready to sever ties.

Yep. He isn't emotionally stable or available. It makes everything else a moot point.

* One day when he kicks the habbit things might be able to work out but as for now he has to deal with that and be single for a while for real before he jumps into anything new.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Tell the girl what she's won.

Now you are getting it!

🙂

Well i might not have had I not been through literally the exact situation except I never threatened to commit suicide (thats so weak) and my ex wasn't such a drama queen. We were just two clingy cancers. Which I will never date another cancer man EVER EVER AGAIN. But thats for a different post.

These 2 might have a more difficult time because if either one of us pulled that shit we would have handed eachother the knife and said "here ya go have fun". And neither one of us would ever dare get anyone else involved. I would have never called one of his new girlfirends and he hated arguing.

These 2 have a big mess on there hands. It's a shame. But again not my problem. I wonder what her sign is. lol

Happycrab, you are right, not your problem. So stay out of it completely he or she has nothing to do with you. You should have nothing to do with him either. He isn't available, nor does he want to be with you. Find someone who is available and wants to be with you.

LET IT GO....

Yeah Happycap...lol I'm sorry.