Making myself better (leo) (Page 3)

The best love anyone has to give is when they have a healthy SELF love first.

yup

"The best love anyone has to give is when they have a healthy SELF love first."

I heard this could make you go blind but I have 20/15 vision 😉

Well I mean I don't know really what this healthy self love stuff means I guess. I don't feel like I don't love myself, and I don't think I don't. On the other hand, I do tend to feel awkward or uncomfortable a lot. Like less than 50% of the time, but still, it does happen. I guess when my self love is really healthy, I'll basically feel comfortable all the time?

"I guess when my self love is really healthy, I'll basically feel comfortable all the time?"

Pretty much. When you start doing stuff for you for the sake of being you and let the rest of the chips fall where they may. How can you ask someone to love you if you don't love yourself. I am not saying you don't it is merely for the sake of arguement. But really, you tell people how to interact with you and to love you in the way that you are yourself. If you are insecure and feel powerless that is how others will relate the prospect of love with you,if you are assured and secure in yourself, that is how they will associate the prospect of love with you.

I had that conversation with my scorpio ex. I asked her how I was supposed to love her if she could not tell me how, because she did not yet love herself. At first she was hurt by it, but then she realized that I wasn't talking down to her, I needed to know.

*conversation with my scorpio ex*

may I ask how long your relationship with your scorpio ex lasted and did you initiate the relationship or did she chase you til you just gave in?? being the nice person you probably are.

If you valued yourself, you would value your dignity more than willing her approval especially at this point.

Do you think it could be sort of an internal struggle between the two LS?

I think it is more base than that. I think you want to win.

If I had to analyze, I think you know you went too far and you want your self-respect back. You think she can give it to you but she can't. You get it back by detaching from the situation and letting it go. That, in the end, is how you win.

Is like they say with smoking, where if you focus on quitting, you can't, but if you just don't start again, then you can quit?

I have absolutely no idea. lol!

I think it comes down to making peace with yourself about the situation, knowing you did the best you could at the time and deciding to spend your time finding someone who likes you for who you are. Realizing that just because this one person didn't like you, doesn't mean you are unlikeable.

Focus on what you want not on what you don't want.

(I have been looking after my ex cause he wrecked his back and is bedridden. I am working on NO sleep here. NO sleep!)

Banini, if you don't stop. JUST STOP!!! You will just make matters worse for yourself most of all. STEP AWAY FROM THE GIRL... LEAVE HER ALONE...

LS, sweet of you to look after your ex. I would probably do the same for mine. The libra... You guys must have a cool relationship.

Yep. Focus on what you DO want, NOT on what you DON'T want.

Sometimes walking away is much easier 🙂

Have I not walked away? I think I have, but I'm afraid that I might walk back...

Don't do it....be strong!!!

No fear, kiddo.

"may I ask how long your relationship with your scorpio ex lasted and did you initiate the relationship or did she chase you til you just gave in?? being the nice person you probably are."

We were mutually interrested but she persued me, or rather beat me over the head with her overt and blatant sexual intentions and drug me back to her cave. We were together almost 5 years. The reason we had that conversation, that it was an issue is because we were both really young, not because she was a weak person. But I think you are suceptable to the same issue she had, taking on the relationship as a sense of identity, instead of bringing your individuality to the relationship. I get a sense you are looking for a person to make you feel complete.

"Yep. Focus on what you DO want, NOT on what you DON'T want."

The law of attraction baby.

Banini,
No, you haven't walked away. There is no walking back because you haven't left yet. Your head is still wrapped around her trying to figure everything out, that isn't walking away, it is holding on. Believe me, I know, I used to do this because it provided the emotional intensity I didn't naturally posses to inspire me artistically and ideologically. It isn't worth it in the end man, it just eats you alive eventually.

The problem is you actually enjoy the pain you are feeling right now, and have been. Once you come to terms with the fact you would rather sit and dwell over something you can't have then drop it and start anew because it is comforting the better off you will be.

well said once again....I didn't want to go there!!

I am not trying to be presumptuous or preach, but I have been there so I am just helping a brother out ya know?

Thanks for the info nic - not to pry but what was the reason for the breakup? Would love to hear the libra male side. Been hearing all the female sides, we need some balance here. LOL

It's hard to give a short version of something like that.

Ummm.....We were both pretty young, and ended up growing apart. Giving the details would paint her in a pretty bad light and I don't really want to do that. The situation got pretty messed up on account of the way she was dealing with things towards the end but it was circumstaincial. Were still good friends.

Banini I agree with Nic.

You haven't walked away. You are still emotionally involved and invested in the situation.

It is your pride that is injured and that takes awhile to repair.

-------

QS

I think this is a life altering event for him. I really think it has reshuffled his priorities.

Prior to this, he would never have done what I am doing for him, for me. I would pretty much look after anyone happily, keep them company, cheer them up, fetch stuff, run errands, get medication. He would do the bare minimum.

He is suddenly realizing what it means what it means to put someone else first, not for your sake, but for theirs. I have finally taught him compassion.

I am glad I can teach him that. It is too bad that he has learned I am his one true friend, who would see him through shit, too late.

------

Nic.

Yep. Good old Law of Attraction. 🙂

Yeah, LS, it seems they always learn to late huh— You remind me of myself in this aspect... I am still friends with most of my exes and would help anyone... Although they may not do as much as me, if the shoe was on the other foot... You are a great person. Everyone doesn't have that level of maturity.

Oh, BTW.. Would you read my post already? I reposted it just for you... LS!!!

LOL!

I don't know where it is. I am looking for it. Too many threads I am posting/reading! LMAO!

Yeah. I figure we are all in this thing together and I really believe we are all meant to just help each other. I find giving without expectation is best for mental health.

Perhaps, I'm mixing up walking away with running away. Like maybe somehow I think that by walking away, and making new friends and meeting new people I'm really just running away from the problem, and unless I can fix it, I'll just end up making the same mistake again. But thats not it at all is it?

ummm NO

Well that makes me feel better...

No, you're doing well by having "walked away" and making "new friends", etc, and you won't make the same mistake again if you learn something from what has happened. Spend some time thinking about what happened and how you can avoid doing the same things again - that's fixing it and you CAN DO IT 🙂

I agree with Chatz---time for some contemplation.

Well, thinking back, everything seems like it was a bad idea from the beginning. I started hanging out with my once best friend again after a couple years of not talking to him because of some shit that was never really resolved, and now I think I started hanging out with him again because at the time I was sort of lost already and didn't really have any other friends. I mean, that basically set the stage for everything else, because I was feeling insecure and lost and confused. Then I met the Libra the same day that I first started hanging out with him again. At one point I related to them how I'd spent the summer playing with toy trains and reading the Harry Potter series. Awesome first impression right there. Then later that night, we all got coffee and it came up that I was a comedian, and then she told me that my jokes sucked and that I shouldn't use them onstage. My "friend" told me later that she'd told him I was a tool. The whole reason I expressed interest in her in the first place was because she was picking on me for having too much free time and said I should get a job or a girlfriend. Cringe. This is part of my contemplation, and I'll post more later. It gets worse. Part of me looks at it and laughs at myself, and the other part is feeling sorry for myself, like, the poor guy...

* she told me that my jokes sucked and that I shouldn't use them onstage

I don't like her.

Banini - stop trying to win her approval. Know that you are okay without it.

I'm fairly certain I don't want to win it anymore. I'll win by becoming a successful stand up comic. That'll show her.

Living well is the best revenge!

I hope you just forget this whole thing Banini. I hope, in time, whenever it comes to mind just shrug it off as one of those things.

🙂