Some help would be great!

I'm in a thing with my ex-colleague Libra. We live in 2 different continents all together. I have always taken things with him casually, and was never really sure if whatever he said about his feelings for me was true.

However, I have lately started taking him more than just casually. We've started talking more but sometimes, I start doubting him again. Also, if I don't give him attention, he'll be all over me, asking what's wrong etc. If however I do give him attention, he'll start acting all chill and I'll be the one doing more whereas I would have wanted equal affection back.

Whenever I would raise my concerns, he'll convince me that he's equally invested. After all the reading and all, I can see Librans are good with words. So I'm stuck with whether to take him for his words or not. As far as judging by actions is concerned, there's limited scope in that since we'll only meet in December. It can be me being paranoid or him not being trustworthy, either way, any advice would be great.

Personally, If I like someone genuinely, i'm direct. If I kind of flit around the topic and am just flirtatious about it, I just like the attention and dont want to be rude or I am unsure of them.

Also, I dont think Libras are good at LDR.

What exactly is it he's said or done that makes him "not trustworthy"?

Also, if you're this paranoid then trust your instincts and let him go. Simple.

Posted by heliumfiasco
Personally, If I like someone genuinely, i'm direct. If I kind of flit around the topic and am just flirtatious about it, I just like the attention and dont want to be rude or I am unsure of them.

Direct as in? Like he's direct in telling me he likes me. What would flit around the topic be like?

Posted by Dolluxxe
What exactly is it he's said or done that makes him "not trustworthy"?

Also, if you're this paranoid then trust your instincts and let him go. Simple.

So he had gotten into a fling with a colleague of mine(who hated me) because they slept together, while he liked me. We were not a thing then, just flirtatious, neither did we confess but during that fling, since the other girl was so insecure, he wouldn't talk to me in front of her. He also withdrew his attention from me. How do people switch interest just because they slept with someone? Was he only seeking attention, and where it came from didn't matter? Also, last week when I tagged him in a post on fb, he took a screenshot and replied to me on WhatsApp lol. That made me feel maybe he's hiding our thing from that girl. Why now? When, as he says, they're not even together. So I asked him the same and he said if that's what you want, I'll reply to your tag there itself. Of course I said no. But I will of course tag him in the future and see.

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by Dolluxxe
What exactly is it he's said or done that makes him "not trustworthy"?

Also, if you're this paranoid then trust your instincts and let him go. Simple.

So he had gotten into a fling with a colleague of mine(who hated me) because they slept together, while he liked me. We were not a thing then, just flirtatious, neither did we confess but during that fling, since the other girl was so insecure, he wouldn't talk to me in front of her. He also withdrew his attention from me. How do people switch interest just because they slept with someone? Was he only seeking attention, and where it came from didn't matter? Also, last week when I tagged him in a post on fb, he took a screenshot and replied to me on WhatsApp lol. That made me feel maybe he's hiding our thing from that girl. Why now? When, as he says, they're not even together. So I asked him the same and he said if that's what you want, I'll reply to your tag there itself. Of course I said no. But I will of course tag him in the future and see.

click to expand

You know what you're doing? Looking for a sure signal that he's no good for you to the point that him not responding to an FB tag gets you all suspicious.

We have no idea if this dude's intentions are good. Again, your gut's telling you something so trust it

Posted by Dolluxxe

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by Dolluxxe
What exactly is it he's said or done that makes him "not trustworthy"?

Also, if you're this paranoid then trust your instincts and let him go. Simple.

So he had gotten into a fling with a colleague of mine(who hated me) because they slept together, while he liked me. We were not a thing then, just flirtatious, neither did we confess but during that fling, since the other girl was so insecure, he wouldn't talk to me in front of her. He also withdrew his attention from me. How do people switch interest just because they slept with someone? Was he only seeking attention, and where it came from didn't matter? Also, last week when I tagged him in a post on fb, he took a screenshot and replied to me on WhatsApp lol. That made me feel maybe he's hiding our thing from that girl. Why now? When, as he says, they're not even together. So I asked him the same and he said if that's what you want, I'll reply to your tag there itself. Of course I said no. But I will of course tag him in the future and see.

You know what you're doing? Looking for a sure signal that he's no good for you to the point that him not responding to an FB tag gets you all suspicious.

We have no idea if this dude's intentions are good. Again, your gut's telling you something so trust it

click to expand

Maybe you're right. Thanks! 🙂

I wouldn't trust us in a ldr.

Posted by jeane
I wouldn't trust us in a ldr.

We had this talk. I told him I know he's very sexually active and as much as I wouldn't like him to sleep with somebody, I cannot expect him not to, for something(between us) that's not even concrete. He didn't deny. He asked if I'll feel bad about it and if I want him to tell me whenever that happens. I told him I wouldn't like it for sure but then I cannot control him anyway, so unless it comes from himself that he wouldn't want to sleep with other people while we're semi-dating, it isn't worth it.

Controlling doesn't last long. I also kinda know that it is kinda not okay to expect people to commit to you when you've not even met after all this started, but it's just that I think I wanna invest and expect him too, which is maybe wrong on my part.

So yeah, Libra or not, I cannot and should not be expecting anybody to commit while we're still testing waters just because I'm ready to take it a little further. I sometimes get troubled, and hence the post. I should be more casual with it and maybe enjoy till it lasts,and make sure I won't carry the baggage after it ends.

And yeah, he also said I'm free to explore too if I want so yeah maybe its an open relationship. But other times he says things of us being together for long and all. So maybe all this is just the Libra charm because when we actually talked about it as I stated above, he clearly was talking about an open relationship.

Posted by Ilovemyaqua

Posted by jeane
I wouldn't trust us in a ldr.

We had this talk. I told him I know he's very sexually active and as much as I wouldn't like him to sleep with somebody, I cannot expect him not to, for something(between us) that's not even concrete. He didn't deny. He asked if I'll feel bad about it and if I want him to tell me whenever that happens. I told him I wouldn't like it for sure but then I cannot control him anyway, so unless it comes from himself that he wouldn't want to sleep with other people while we're semi-dating, it isn't worth it.

Controlling doesn't last long. I also kinda know that it is kinda not okay to expect people to commit to you when you've not even met after all this started, but it's just that I think I wanna invest and expect him too, which is maybe wrong on my part.

So yeah, Libra or not, I cannot and should not be expecting anybody to commit while we're still testing waters just because I'm ready to take it a little further. I sometimes get troubled, and hence the post. I should be more casual with it and maybe enjoy till it lasts,and make sure I won't carry the baggage after it ends.

And yeah, he also said I'm free to explore too if I want so yeah maybe its an open relationship. But other times he says things of us being together for long and all. So maybe all this is just the Libra charm because when we actually talked about it as I stated above, he clearly was talking about an open relationship.

click to expand

Im really not sure what you're getting out of this arrangement.