Update on Mr. Libra

So things came out of the woodworks yesterday in terms of his non-truth statements. Bottom line is that he and I are not going to pursue anything romantic - I told him that I couldn't see anything long-term with him and that since he has a history of Friends with Benefits (oh the information I found out yesterday would shock some of you), I told him that I am OK with him being a friend with benefits. Of course, he took me up on that. I didn't see him last night expecting to initiate the friends with benefits that night, but surprise, surprise, he had condoms with him! Good thing he did, but yet a scary thought that he carries them in his car.

So anyway, Yes - Libras do lie. Yes - Libras are good sexually. Yes - Libras have a handful of female friends. Yes - Libras are reluctant to settling down with one person.

Before he even took me up on the "benefits", he was leary about going through with it because he didn't want to hurt me since he knew how I feel about him. I told him that if I know what defines what we're doing, then I can turn my emotions on and off. Needless to say, it only took about 15 minutes of convincing him that he should shut up already and have sex.

Not sure why, but for someone who is worried that I would get too emotionally involved with him, he seemed to feel it necessary to kiss me after. It was sweet, but confusing all over again. I can separate sex from emotions if I know beforehand and I'm not being led on. So kissing to me is much more emotional than sex. That's my opinion.

Not surprised or shocked that he accepted the friends with bene's. Libras are very reluctant at settling down, but, when they do, they do and you can't get rid of them and yes I think they all play the field UNTIL THEY DECIDE they are ready to settle down.

I am also not surprised about the kissing at all. Libras can kiss, shagg, massage, caress and even hold you all night without any emotional attachment. You see, they like the whole art of making love, not like so many other signs, if it isn't emotional then they will shag and leave. No, my Libra friend, did the candelight, Will Downing (awesome love making music) message oil and the cuddling after etc... That might be a reason we get confused about their true feeling. They will still make you feel like the most important person in the world, even as a friend w/bene's...

So, the sex was awesome huh? Haven't been with one yet who wasn't. Each a little different but awesome. Just an FYI I have only been with 4 Libras out of about 7 total partners (3 other signs)

HP744..."So kissing to me is much more emotional than sex"

I feel this exact same way!! Weird.. anyway..

Don't sound so enthused about it!! Your just like.. yeh yeh.. did it and it's overwith... I am trippin' over here!! This is why this board is so dang juicy!

Okay, so how do you feel today? Are you really able to turn your emotions off and on.. I say this too and I can in certain situations.. but it would be very hard if I already had feelings for him and the love makin' was good.. I had a gem in my past that would flip the switch on every time I would try to switch it off.. he knew me better than I knew myself, hate it when that happens..

... but anyway.. back to you...

You go! I am so proud of you.. taking control and going for whatever.. I am sure you will enjoy every minute you are with him. I just hope you are not getting in too deep, be cautious and don't think so much.

😉

HP

I am confused. Why didn't you sleep with him when you were dating?

LS, I didn't want to get involved with him that, as I wanted to get to know him first. Sounds silly, I know. But after what I found out yesterday about him, I decided he's best as a F**K buddy.

Brat, We'll see if I can truly turn the emotions off and on. One of his concerns was that he didn't want one or both of us to develop attachments, but I'm convinced it's not him who would develop the attachments based on the dirt I have on him.

As far as if the sex was good, yes, it was. Granted it was at midnight on a secluded road in Houston on the hood of his BMW! 🙂

I also know that once we go down this "friends with benefits" road, there won't be a relationship. I just can't see a serious relationship building from this standpoint and the words he used last night indicated the same thing...As he said last night and he applied LOGIC (Libras love using this word): Friends with Benefits is someone whom he is only physically attracted to and that's it. He said he sees me as more but just can't commit to more at the moment. Blah Blah Blah....I finally just said "So are we having sex or not?"

"Libras are reluctant to settling down with one person."

This trouble in us roots back to our first(failed)encounter with girls and love. Most libras has gone through this scary situation where we were thrown out of balance for a very long time. And that holds us back and make us think in the later years.

Possible way to tackle this is to get close to him and slightly submissing in terms of character and attitude in the intial stages. Once we find the girl to be easy and safe to deal with, we will sure think about taking next step.

may be i shud make one funny statement here.... "Its not our fault ladies.... those b**ches who left us in deep shit over some silly reason deserves the blame."

*submissive

HP, don't let those statements fool you. My Libra friend and I started as friends, then, friends with bene's and we had the same agreement and after a very short time he admitted getting emotional about us and I freaked - remember. It depends. If you guys connect on another level, there is still a chance. If you both want it. My ex and I also started this way sort of - the difference, I wanted him after a short time and made sure I got him.

So, only time will tell. You seem like you are doing what is needed to get him though. Keep the control. Shag when you want to (I know that would probably be often with a Libra)try, as hard as it may be to decline a time or two when he suggests, however suggest a different time than his suggestion... This has worked for me in the past...

Go girl, do what you do. You can only use them for what they are good for in the moment. Who knows what the future holds...

I'd never done that before. It was actually fun. I dressed in a mini skirt, which I never wear, 4 inch heels, and thigh highs....I felt naughty...but hey, it was fun.

HP, spontaneity is important with them. The on the car thing, sounding like a scorp there.

However, always wear something cute and naughty, never trashy... Blind fold him and let his fingers do the seeing before you visually surprise him. I found this to be one of their favorite games...

Keep it exiting... If you have notice on these posts one thing the Libra male and Scorpio woman never have a problem with is inimacy and these are some of the tools we use to keep them hooked (ask nic. and thelibran about that).... LOL!!!

exiting = exciting... my bad....

I love spontaneity too. I just was being Little Miss Conservative with this guy. He has no idea about my naughty side. 😛 Not yet at least.

Now, Mr. Scorpio and I had some good times and yes, they do love the games.

Well, then, you could actually hook him after all. I am sorry, I have heard what the Libra females have been saying on these posts and I do believe that you cannot hook a Libr man with sex alone. However, sex is a big part with these guys... Am I right Nic?

My Libra friend told me once, he broke up with this girl because, everything in the relationship was OK, but she was way too conservative in the bedroom... He said if the bedroom activities are great and his interest is kept. He will be willing to work on anything else....

I thought to myself, yup that's a Libra male - head is always in the gutter one way or another...


We shall see...

He told me last night he'd make time for sex, just that he couldn't make time to "flourish" a relationship with me. I think I asked him "wanna have sex now?" at least 3 times.

I was ready for him to just shut up already.

Again, talk is cheap with them... He will probably be back and forth with the friends w bene's and the possible mate idea. Libra men always picture the person they are involved with as a possible mate... They go back and forth with this in their heads... Remember all options open until they settle down with one... Some Libra guy also mentioned this in one of his threads. If you are the temptress you seem to be. If you want him (after finding out whatever it was you found out) you can totally have him. Trust me.


Whip it on him get a little control of the situation and pull back and watch it happen.

*** Friends with Benefits is someone whom he is only physically attracted to and that's it.

that is libra logic. That is how we approach dating. We cannot commit ourselves to someone we really, really, really like but deep down know aren't it. We just can't. It wouldn't be fair.

*** He said he sees me as more but just can't commit to more at the moment.

Translation is you aren't the one but I think you are a great person. Just not my great person.

QS

I disagree. He told her she wasn't the one. She might be able to pressure/guilt him into a relationship, even marriage, but she isn't the one. A libra would NEVER risk losing the one. Evah.

*** Its not our fault ladies.... those b**ches who left us in deep shit over some silly reason deserves the blame."

No. We all have our hearts broken. There is no reason not to heal and move on.

*** He told me last night he'd make time for sex, just that he couldn't make time to "flourish" a relationship with me.

He sees you as sex only nothing more. Trust me. I have done the same. If he saw you as more, he would be interested in everything about you.

which, by the way, is fine. just don't mislead yourself.

Sorry, LS. Some of the exact same words were told to me by my ex and another ex Libra, who after awhile lost it over me... Again, my ex husband is still in love with me and will tell anyone, eventhough I can honestly say I don't love him the way I used to I care about him and probably always will, even love him as a friend (father to my daughter) but I don't ever think I will be in love with him. The gap is way too far apart (for me).

Reminder... My ex husband as well as other Libras initiated the interest and persuit as they all seem to do. My ex told me after we seriously started to date. "From the day I met you I told my boy, you would one day be my wife." However, we started as friends with bene's for awhile, then when I decided I wanted him. I pulled back and when he asked why I told him I changed my mind and wanted more from him for us. That I was starting to really like him and wanted a relationship. The shocking response "OK, so have I, lets do it." I was willing at the point I admited it to him to be rejected. I didn't care.

That is what I mean when I told my Libra friend. If I decide I want to be with you I will admit it to you with the risk of being turned down. Haven't been turned down yet, so I dunno how it feels, but if I truly feel a certain way, I will express that no matter what.

I am not at all saying Mr. Libra isn't sincere in what he is telling her. He is probably 100% sincere at this moment. However, I have known all the ones I know, intimately or not, to change their minds a million times when it comes to relationships....

Sorry, disagree LS. We shall see...

I'm ok with sex only at this point. I was the one trying to get him to shut up last night and just drop his pants.

Whichever, whatever, the sex is always good with them, so hey you win either way. We shall see.

Whichever, whatever, the sex is always good with them, so hey you win either way. We shall see.

Listen to QueenScorp here she isn't missing a beat anywhere.

The Libran was also right about us only taking one big bad relationship to set the path for our indecisiveness later on. I wait until I know I can't be without someone before I will commit at all.

Houstonpeach74,
Your going to have a lot better chance now if you still like him than you did before. I didn't know you were holding back I just hadn't thought you had the opportunity. Yeah you found out a lot of shocking things about him and he lied to you here and there but you made a comment about having a kinky/wild side but for some reason playing conservative with him. Believe me, it's most likely he saw that confliction and didn't like it, and might have had a little to do with how he acted and the lies he told. I hate to say it but we are reluctant to even consider commiting to anyone we haven't slept with. It sounds egotisitical but we "know" that we are good looking, talented lovers and we want to know we are getting the same in return before we go all in.

Good advice, everyone. I'm not sure if I want a "better chance". It's not like I hadn't talked about kinky things with him; I just hadn't done the deed. I initiated it last night and well he went for it just as I knew he would.

Now that I had it though, I have to control myself from not wanting it too often now!

But in all honesty, I don't see it as me having a better chance. If anything, Mr. Libra is relieved that I agreed to FWB and nothing more. Like I mentioned before, I read between the lines and assumed he was concerned I would get attached to him moreso than him.

HP, even if he gets attached to you before you get attached to him, that will always be a concern of his. "the pressure" I am telling you, it is almost like he would rather get attached first and know for sure if this is what he wants, before you do, however, once he is he still would perfer that you still make the first move to bring up the subject of a more serious relationship...

Got ta luv these guys... Anyway, he does think with his head (the one on his head)first unlike any other guy. Although his other head also gets in the way of decisions. I am saying this as I get a "I have a feeling someone might be missing me right now" email from my Libra friend. My response..."Really? I wonder?" Keep them guessing... Yes the one who just reunited with his girl. Oh, don't worry, as long as he is in a relationship and because of our situation no more shaggin here. But I can't lie - got turned on after that email, however, short lived. Back to reality...

Just wait and see. You have a chance if you want it. Nic knows what he is talking about...

The past couple of days he's been stern and unwaivering with his "situation" and the fact that he can't/won't allow a relationship to "flourish" (sorry, I chuckle at this word).

He told me yesterday: "If you are confronting me to make a decision on if I want us to stay friends, the answer is most definitely yes. If you are confronting me to make a decision on if I can commit to more than friends, then the answer is no. And if you have to walk away because you want more and I can't give that to you, then as black and white as it sounds, it's what we have to do because the last thing I want to do is hurt you."

Then I called him later last night and told him a place to meet me. Of course, he figured I was going to have sex with him because he started touching me while he was driving. I played the tease and said "I didn't come out here for that". He got upset over that and then I began to make him feel like he was persuading me to go through with the FWB when actually it was my intent all along.

This Taurus has a side this Libra doesn't know about... 😉

thelibra, sorry buddy, didn't see your comment...

Sooo righht. My ex went through a terrible break up in college with his first love.. Guess what sign? Sag.... She cheatedo on him like my current friends girlfriend. He had been a player up until he met me. Women would buy him phones, suits etc. He would reject they would forcefully send them via mail. He was a dog (so I was told)... Never let any female stay the night...

I never knew this when I was shagging him, because I never gave him a penny, he took me out, I always stayed the nights, weekends etc. Even when we were just FWB's... However, he did have a stalker which almost ruined our relationship before it started. So, yes, when they finally find someone they really like, even years after a break up with a true love... It takes awhile.

"he does think with his head (the one on his head)first unlike any other guy"

lol...if you knew what dirt I found out on him, you'd put him right back into the "other guy" category. lol

"...I began to make him feel like he was persuading me to go through with the FWB when actually it was my intent all along."

Careful there, you brought it to the table, but it was his actions that had a lot to do with the final decision on FWB. I am not saying you are under his spell, but at the time you guys were platonic he definately wasn't going to commit to anything, I'll put my money on it now that if he liked it as much as you did he is revisiting that decision. It can go either way from here, he might start having feelings for you and this will A🙂 make make him reconsider a relationship with you or B🙂 the feelings will bother him and he will go back and forth eventually cutting it off when he feels you are getting to attatched...when it might actually be him. From here with a Libra it is completely unpredictable unfortunately.

Unfortunately with us you have to make yourself kind of easy to get us to consider, but if things work out the pay off is a very passionate and in-tuned lover. I have a feeling the more you sleep together, the better it will get....he is figuring you out right now and then he will unleash everything he learned a bit downt he road. If it gets that far, hold on tight.

"With us you have to make yourself kind of easy to get us to consider"...what does this mean?

Not sure he'll change his mind. A little bit about the dirt I found out. This girl contacted me and asked me how I knew him. I was pretty guarded with my answers, but she was really open about how she met him. They met for sex, or as she put it, "it was all about the sex". She said he would be very aloof and unavailable with her, use his family as an excuse, and even suggested scenarios (the same he suggested to me). When I asked her how recent all of this was, she said the last time they hooked up was 4 years ago! So that's why I say that I'm not sure he'll change his mind. If he gave her the same story 4 years ago that he gave me in the present, it's all about being a player....so I've decided that I'll just play the game right back...for a while.

He swears up and down that he feels differently about me than he does about her and he admitted that it was just for the sex. BUT the fact that when I suggested that we be FWB, he pulled out a condom from his glove box freaked me out and instantly told me that this guy is still fucking every moving object in site.

I could be wrong. When I confronted him about the instant availability of condoms, he defended by saying "Would you prefer I not be responsible?"

so most of the logic you guys are applying could be right in certain instances, but now that you know most of the scoop, do you keep your original opinions?

To go four years without a relationship is a biy much. I don't know much about the guy personally and came into your situation late in the game...but that makes me suspicious. You might just be playing with damaged goods. He might have some personal issues going on that the stars won't help much with?

um, this wasn't a relationship, nic. this was just one girl that confirmed that he met her for sex. I spoke to another who said the same thing.

As a Libra, how would you react if someone said you were damaged goods? I wonder what I should tell him. I'm really not interested in him anymore romantically; just sexually.

It will be "fun" for a while to be a FWB. But I figure I'll lose interest soon enough. He just doesn't know that I know what I know. You know?

I find that when Libra men decide to commit, they TOTALLY commit. I have been with my Libra a year and a half (I am a Taurus). He was been burned badly once, and it took awhile for hi to commit to our relationship. T ohis credit he was VERY upfront and honest about it. Taurus that I am, deided that he was indeed worth t he wait. I played on his terms, nurturing him, exciting him (yes, we Taurus's can be exciting ...well in the sheets anyway)and I* found what he loved mst about me w2as my loyalty and patience. I let him be...and when he decided that I was the "one", I truly knew that I was the one. He was always a gentleman about it, never an ass....otherwise I would have had a Taurean FIT and walked out.
Anyway...I guess what I am saying is that when a Libra makes up his mid (FINALLY) you will find no better mate.

^^please forgive my typo's...my keyboard is whack.

Celtic, I can vouch for the Taurean fit....

Houstonpeach,

I got that he was just FWB with her two but I drew up the assumption that he likely hasn't been in a commited relationship for about that time if he is still playing the same game he played with her. Yeah, being up front about damaged goods and what not won't go over to well, I was merely suggesting the fact that he may have some issues rooted in his past either with women or relationships specifically. Rather than calling him out on it I would just feel out his past, see if there are any paths that could be followed if you get my drift. Or, not, it sounds like your comfortable with FWB, which is fine, especially if there is something bigger that is causing him to have commitment issues above and beyond the Libra norm LOL.

Celtic,
That sounds awesome. I have always been attracted to Taurus fem's but have had a hard time really connecting with them. A lot of it has to do with the strong commitment and stubornness but you seem to have played that perfectly. High five.

I should take pointers from Celtic. I have a strong Type A Personality and it gets me into trouble so much.

I am convinced that his family plays a role in his unwillingness to commit. Prior to moving to Houston, he was in a 3 and 4 year relationship. Or, maybe that last long-term relationship really hurt him....nah, I think it's his family situation.

I wouldn't blame his family. It is him. I have tons of excuses for men I am not interested in but if I was really interested in them ... I would find a way. It is the polite out. A way of saving the person's dignity instead of saying you aren't it for me.

I would shag people I would never date. Libras can get sex easily. We just can. If you want to be the partner to a libra, you have to be their match because a libra won't settle down with someone they know is not it. And we know if you have the potential to be it within moments. We just know. And we act very differently around those we think are it than other people.

just saying.

"I have a feeling the more you sleep together, the better it will get....he is figuring you out right now and then he will unleash everything he learned a bit downt he road. If it gets that far, hold on tight"

Its that easy— LOL.......ok Chatz is gonna tie her Libran to the bed!!! 😉

Houston,
Actually you might be on to something with thinking it could be family motivated. I will try to re-convey but for better clarification go out and by the book "Sextrology". I don't have it handy to look up the author but it is a large paper back with a pinkish orange and white cover. It goes into great depths each sign both male and female especially how we relate to love and sex. But anyway, in the book it talked about Libra males commonly being born into a family with a strained parent relationship if not already broken. That our need to please everyone comes from trying to keep the peace within the house......something that carries with us forever. Buy the book. Everyone.

Chatz,
Yeah, it is that easy. We are intillectuals in bed and out. Our brain is our biggest sex organ and we use it.

Nic, he's always told me that he feels pressure to help out his parents since he's the only single sibling. I questioned the fact that since his brother lived in the same subdivision and his sister currently lived with him and they have 3 cars, why he felt he had to put himself out there to help all the time. He even helps his other sister with computer stuff.

Last night he mentioned that his parents are always telling him to go out and date because they want him to get married, etc. I told him that he's contradicting what his parents want. If they want him to go out and have fun and date, then why does he feel compelled to step in and help? Seriously, I think he using them as every excuse possible. It's become such a habit that he using them to cover up anything and everything. He also says that he and his sister fight all the time because of her personlity but since she's going through tough times (she recently lost her husband) that he can't just tell her to move out of his house. He pays all the bills yet has his parents and his sister living with him.

hmmmmmmmmmm that is good to know!!! I suppose if they are sleeping with ya regularly there's a reason for it.....HP enjoy!!!

" I told him that he's contradicting what his parents want."

That is exactly what he is doing but it goes deeper than the sitution lets on. We don't like to be pressured, especially by those we care about. We hate being told what is right or what to do, we only consider complying with that which comes accross as advice or suggestion. Look at any sucessful Libra and chances are they got there in their own way, we can't bring ourselves to follow the laid path of convention or societal imposition. We go about getting what we want in the way we feel it is necessary and tend to resent those that can't not simply understand, but actually appreciate it.

If someone tells me what to do, my natural reaction is to be confrontational or to do the opposite. We understand human nature and the need for everyone else to "fit in" and to conform, and no matter how much we desire a normal life style , we are set on getting it our own way, when we want to get it, and how we get it. Most of us feel like we never completely fit in, at any point up to where we are at now, insisting we do so is agonizing to us.