Well, Well, Well

OK guys and gals it has finally happened 😛

After waiting 3 weeks to see the man again, and him finally coming around last night, we talked and talked and talked, oh and other stuff but lets keep this clean eh?? LOL.

Finally, after 6&1/2 months of pulling my hair out, analyzing, over-analyzing, worrying, trying to figure out where this guys head is he finally, yes finally said to me last night "I'd like to be in an exclusive relationship with you, what do you think?"....ummmmmm hello—— I almost fell off my chair!!!!!

So anyway we discussed the singles sites thing and he understands that it is a problem and had already shown that he isn't on there much lately (obviously he's been doing a bit of thinking himself) but assured me that he will now suspend his accounts on all of them 🙂 He said "it was my way of alleviating my boredom at nights and nothing ever eventuated from the chats" and that "your patience with the way I've been dealing with my life has been amazing and I realise that I've been treating you unfairly til now - its really hit me how much you mean to me and you've shown me that not all women are like my ex's"....oooooooh *rubs hands together*

So there you go 🙂

*is happy*

So there you go!!!

OMG! OMG! OMG! That is soooo fantastic, Chatz! I have never been so happy to be wrong... I am so glad your dedication and listening to your heart has worked out so well for you!! Weeee!

Awesome, awesome, awesome!!!

Thank you Alcheme....same here!!! I just knew there was something worth hanging onto, no matter what anybody said, and he is so worth it believe me!!!

But Im also in a state of complete and utter shock now that I have what I want....now what do I worry about— LMAO

awesome chatz. i'm very happy for you. and i'm glad he saw how wonderful you are. patience (at least in their eyes and not the grrr'ing on dxp) pays off!

what were your responses? I'm sure you just didn't leave it at him wanting to be exclusive...did you tell him you'd think about it (make him sweat) or did you tell him how you truly feel about him after he said all that?

lol thanks HP....at first, after picking myself up off the floor, literally (I honestly didn't expect this at all and that I'd be doing this for another 6 months and longer LOL), I just said "its about bloody time"....he laughed!!!

And he just said "sorry" He knew what he was doing but he had to be sure that he wasn't going to put himself into another situation like before. I told him that I almost walked several times and he knew that, hence pulling me back in again....grrrrrrr

Anyway, got the man (for now anyway)...we'll see how it goes but all I do know is that he makes me feel wonderful in many, many ways and at least now he sees my worth 🙂

Cheers to you all
xx

so did ya'll talk about the next step? exclusivity and what it all means to both of you?

oh you've got mail, chatz

we will be doing a LOT of talking in the next few days.....I think we're just both relieved that its finally out and we're both being open about things and of course, given that he's been the way he has in the past 6 months, Im not going to push him, especially now!!....got all the time in the world for him and he's my best friend...Im sure we'll be doing a lot of stuff now. But exclusive to him— he assured me that he hadn't seen another since we hooked up, that he is ridding himself of the nightly online chats, that he'll be spending more time with me and going out, doing stuff, that we will become a part of eachothers lives, not only seeing one another once or twice a fortnight - he's now being very thoughtful in the things he says about a future 🙂 🙂 🙂

Got your mail HP....and yesssssss, no problems 🙂

Sweeeeeeettttt!

AHHHH!!!!! I too have never been so hapier to be wrong. No one is more happier and relieved than I. Cheers Chatz, cheers!!!!

sorry happier...

Thank you lovely peoples....I've never been happier that you've all been wrong too *giggles*....trust me, I thought I was wrong many times (I think you know this LOL). but yeah there are fairytales after all *laffs*

Hmmmm I think I should go to bed - haven't slept a wink since Friday night - its now Sunday night - argghhhhhh!!!

Goodnight (or should I say goodmorning to you all)....sweet dreams 🙂

hmmmmmmmmmmmm...... I know i know... :>

i'm really glad to hear chatz, us librans are so hard to tie down! hard to deal with for sure.. you nailed it!

YAY!

chatz, i don't believe we've ever addressed one another. and this may seem weird, but i have semi-followed the details of your relationship with your libra. i am very happy that it has turned out this way, and the animation of your posts literally makes me smile. i hope that future changes yield as much happiness for you. 🙂

oh you're all the best....thank you so much...it certainly has been an interesting time for sure but yeah, hopefully the future will be just as interesting but without the worry LOL

xx

(swimming back to mainland)

Happy for you, Chatz!

😉

lol @ Atom...

lol Atom!!! I was afraid you'd drowned and ummm thank you sweetie 🙂

Chatz, this is wonderful. See!, all his evenings lonely behind the computer WAS just bottom scratching in PJs...

LMAO Libra (I thought of that comment earlier today!!!), yes so I see and he has been true to his word, his profiles have all been suspended and whoah!!!

Oh and he has finally accepted a dinner invitation - me cooking!!! yikes!!! What normally would have taken him a few days to reply to took less than an hour.....OMG I have to get used to this new man LOL

Loving it!!!

sweeeet!

Yeah, now you actually have to COOK!!

Next Libra subject - what do we eat??

To answer my own question (I'm in that mood): it's not about the food, it's about the music and the atmosphere that hangs around the house when he is there - because that is how he will see you going forward, 'cause then he'll think of the two of you living together bla bla bla. That's what will linger and of course, the spoken words - played over and over afterwards. Simple food is awesome. Make it look as if it's all accidental and you just happened to pick up these groceries from the market e.g. this was all that was left - but with confidence, of course. And "I make this all the time, no sweat"...

Bit like Kelly McGillis having Tom C over for dinner in Top Gun - that kind of atmosphere. Relaxed, bare feet but with perfect makeup and perfume - romantic. Oh and gentle silences are OK e.g. mysterious. (I'm getting carried away here!)

Ciao

My libra said he'd cook for me.

Overwhelmed here.

How so, Atom? Do you recognise some of it?

Thanks guys and yessssssssss@the dress....he loves that

OMG I would have forgotten the music!!!!!!!!!!!

yikes!!!!!

Thank goodness I still have 4 days to get it all right

Libra, er, overwhelmed at her happiness. SO happy for her. She's one very classy lady.

awww thank you Atom. You still should have kept swimming over though 😢

What's new with you Atom? you have been way too quiet 😢

Chatz, doing the typical male thing of just working. My Libra Girl relationship is so platonic right now that's she's LURVING it and I'm wondering why I spend any time with her. Of course, I haven't had time to date anyone else either. It's MUCH easier swimming through kelp beds and avoiding sharks.

kenny, excellent suggestion....everytime he pulls into my driveway he has his music pounding away - should make him go and get what he likes as long as he doesnt put it up as loud as he has it in his car LOL. Somehow I doubt it though 🙂.....gawd, this is so strange being able to cook for him, and going to a different level - Im out of my depth here and feeling very ummmm...how do you say it? oh yeah, FREAKED OUT!!! *giggles* Normally we just sit on the couch and have the tv in the background very quiet and talk between ourselves, etc, etc but ummmmm why did I suggest this? somebody remind me? oh yeah, Im crazy!!!

Atom babe? you spend time with her because she's obviously really good company and hey, that's awesome that you can both just enjoy that but yeah, I think she's made it clear that its going to stay that way, unless you walk and she goes a chasing 🙂 I am sure that things will get better soon for you and yeah, make her a friend and let those other gorgeous women out there have a chance - sheesh!! xx

Thanks, all!

And the roller coaster ride continues!!!

Tonight (Thursday) Mr Libra lets me know that he can't do dinner on Sunday night coz get this....he's got his daughter until 6.30pm and then he has to "do dinner" at his exe's house for a birthday...now let me tell you its not for her, its not for his daughter so I can only assume its for one of her other children......so I've been dumped for his ex!!! Oh but he can come over AFTER dinner at her place!!!! Great, another late arrival, another late night for a Sunday and another crap start to another week and no doubt things will continue as they have been with him doing everything his ex tells him to.

What the—?

I am pi $ $ ed off big time now. First he replies within an hour of my invitation then lets me down 2 days later coz he kinda remembered there's a dinner on sunday night— what the— she must really have him in a tight grip somehow.

I should have just said no to him coming over for just the fun part on Sunday night...now, after thinking its all going to be great, he pulls this one on me!!

😢

Well, you can look at it this way. Once you guys have been exclusive for a while you'll be integrated more completely into each others lives. Which means that a lot of the time he has to leave you to hang out with his daughter will be the three of you, including stuff like this.

Okay Chatz, this is one time I disagree with Nic (sort of). You must let him know how you feel. If it isn't his daughter's birthday— Uggghhhh— He can drop a gift off to the other kid earlier and go to dinner with you... There has to be a line drawn. I do understand that the other kids are probably as much as a part of his life as his daughter, but you are now his woman, companion and a line must be drawn and this should be brought to his attention. He is a Libra and I know he hates conflict and because of his relationship with her other children he probably just goes along but as he is in another relationship there has to be lines drawn. Did he tell the ex about you?

BTW, he accepted your invitation first. I am sure he knew when this child's birthday was all year. He should have told the ex he had plans and stopped by before your dinner date to bring a gift or spend a little happy birthday time with the child. That sucks.

Chatz keep your cool, this could be a test, stay cool and calm sweety. You have plenty of time to put your foot down.

***Chatz keep your cool, this could be a test, stay cool and calm sweety. You have plenty of time to put your foot down.***

Not at all saying not to keep your cool. There is a way of doing everything and I am such a supporter of keeping my cool. Even when I am angry I can get a message accross in a low mellow voice, but it can cut like a knife...

Anyway, I think you must nip things in the bud (delicately) in the beginning of a relationship, otherwise he will think these things are okay and it won't be fair to him to try and make them an issue later after you accepted them all along. This is a primary problem in relationships. I have been a victum of this myself. So, letting eachother know up front what is acceptable, comfortable and workable and what isn't is key in a relationship, so the both of you go in with your eyes wide open, no surprises so to speak.

QS do you have a problem with me?

I'm not asking her to avoid her emotions so please stop assuming you know what I'm saying.

I'm simply going by what she has written, she has been very patient with this man, its obvious its going to require a surmountable amount of more patience, she has plenty of time to address her feelings with him, in the mean time, she should remain calm and cool, continue doing what she was doing....she will know when its time to address the situation.

her approach is working, she has gain great strides in this relationship, I'm suggesting she continues to approach it the way she has, it seems to work for her.

she can pick and choose her battles

***QS do you have a problem with me?***

Uhhh, and what would make you think that? Everyone is intitled to their opinion and I respect yours as mucha as the other persons. I am just sharing my opinion according to my experience with involvements with 5 libras (including my last one LP) and relationships in general. What would make you feel like I have a problem with you is beyond me?

***please stop assuming you know what I'm saying.***

I dunno, maybe I am missing something, but I swear I don't see anywhere where I mention or indicate you don't know what you are saying.

***I'm simply going by what she has written, she has been very patient with this man, its obvious its going to require a surmountable amount of more patience, she has plenty of time to address her feelings with him, in the mean time, she should remain calm and cool, continue doing what she was doing....she will know when its time to address the situation.***

Exactly my point, she has been very patient and now her patients have been rewarded by a commitment/exclusivity, which puts her in a completely different catagory than before (shagging buddies - no commitment) therefore, she has the RIGHT to be opinionated and express herself as it relates to their relationship. Communication is very key in a RELATIONSHIP, which is what they are in now. Soooo, the communication should be clear in the beginning.

She cannot expect him to change later after she has allowed something he is doing now to annoy her initially. It wouldn't be fair to either of them. So she should express what makes her uncomfortable now and that should be water under the bridge and less to worry about in the future. Ya get it—

I agree with QS. I was in the same boat as Chatz last week (the baseball game set-up thing) and most recently a trip we're taking next weekend. You have to call them out on this because they are either oblivious to what they're doing or they are seeing how far you're willing to let them get away with.

Chatz, it was crappy of him to cancel on you. He accepted your invitation first. Sure, he has obligations to his own children, but other children will not necessarily care or remember who attended their bday party because all they mainly care about is getting gifts.

***Chatz, it was crappy of him to cancel on you. He accepted your invitation first. Sure, he has obligations to his own children, but other children will not necessarily care or remember who attended their bday party because all they mainly care about is getting gifts.***

I wouldn't go as far as to say he should exclude the participation in the other child's B-day per se. I don't know what the history is behind his relationship and the ex's other children, he might be the only dad they know... In that case, he should have popped over there to bring the child a gift, spend a little time etc. earlier that day or even the day before or after if he felt obligated, however, he should not have cancelled plans with you by no means, if he already accepted the invitation.

However, this is coming from a mother and a step-mother, and maybe a future step-mother 😉- LP, so I know how easy it is to love children who aren't necessary your blood.

However, it is also important to prioritize new love relationships in our lives as well. It is all about balance. If he think it is okay to do this now, he will continue to think it is okay in the future, and if you complain about it later, when you said nothing this time, it won't be fair to him. Whew. I am done. I think you guys get the point...

Wow, I think this balance thing is rubbing off on me - been on this Libra board wayyy too long... 🙂

Chatz,

The best outcome I believe you can have is to let this guy know how you feel. Once this is done, its his move. The only thing left then is your reaction to his placement on the chessboard, if you know what I mean. I personally think he made a foul move. You should probably have an indepth conversation with him to know exactly where you guys stand and have the boundaries set or move on. Life is too short to be playing ping pong with your happiness.

Do you guys remember Pong? I loved that game.

sorry, brief lapse into childhood....carry on.

Some guys may be the best in the world, but if they don't display it to you, you won't know it, so what difference does it make. Do your thing.