MrFirebird
@MrFirebird
14 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 13 · Posts: 10188 · Topics: 699
Best Post of the Day (Page 2)
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Posted by MissFiskPosted by Astrobyn
Dude seriously? its fucking thanks giving. Do you not have anyone to love you today?click to expand
Do they have thanksgiving all around the world?
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
No such thing as tough love, theres only overly sensitive people
: "Why do only low class women date black men?"
Reply:
Posted by warmwaters
My sister is a cancer and went over to help her.
I was still side eying her
bish was crying about her iphone 6.
than my sister was like girl you are bleeding.
do want to call someone?
This bish was like IMA CALL THE COPS.
She thought the cops would come over to that neighborhood find her phone lol
😆!!!
Posted by seraph
*The Calgary, Alberta Suburb Translation*
He saw a girl like that (Caucasian,with cornrows) walk into a park (I'm guessing in a rough neighbourhood.) She was physically assaulted in seconds. Someone (probably one of those who did the assaulting or at least took part) took her iPhone 6.
He says he would have taken it himself, but he was too caught up in the moment (witnessing what was happening) to have the presence of mind to do so.
When it was over, his sister, who is a Cancer, went over to help the victim (cornrow girl.) He was still looking at her disapprovingly. She was still crying over her iPhone (now stolen.) His sister noted that she was bleeding and asked whether she wanted her to call anyone on her behalf. She (cornrow girl) exclaimed that wanted to get the police involved. She thought the cops would actually come over there, to *that* neighbourhood, and look for her iPhone.click to expand
Posted by Everything
... this impression that I have of myself is based on the 1000 relationships I've had with different people and the 10000 million different life situations i've lived through...
when i write something about myself and my feelings, it's 100% honest. It's therapeutical. It's for me. It doesn't matter who reads it cause they can't do anything about it anyway. So it's not meant for anyone but me and for that reason i have no reason to make the truth look better than it is, or give a false impression of my self. I want to help myself and i do it by being honest. ... But I'm not a god. So I can't be 400 % sure. I can just do my best.
The guy pays of course.
Posted by PVandJellayPosted by DAMEN VI
Dude was by far....the softest, most non threating person i've ever seen post on the internets..i dont even think he was human..
He was like a mixture of ginger biscuits, honeydew melon,dandelions, and a light mist of tropical rain..he was a real life snuggle bear
never could i have imagined a person would be able to exhume so much wholesome,sugary moistness through a computer..but he did it..gotdammit he did it..the shit was unreal and disgustingly cheesy
This is some of the best material I read on dxp in a while. I just can't with him... I'm dead everytime I read it.
😆click to expand
lol @ ginger biscuits lmao.
Posted by LetltB
.......and go on effin birth control!
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by Rabbitclick to expand
That's funny it looks like one of damnata's avatars
Posted by hydorahPosted by PhoenixRising
Posted by Rabbit
That's funny it looks like one of damnata's avatarsclick to expand
I embrace the koala within 😄.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
"Victim," I mean OP, you need to think about something you may have said or done....But shit knowing you have "prospects" despite being in a relationship, that kinda sheds some light on the situation.
"HE SHOULD BE SO LUCKY. I CHOSE TO LOVE HIM AND HAVE BEEN WITH HIM ALL THIS TIME BECAUSE I'M MEE WITH DICK AT MY FEET ALL AROUND ME!"
Really? Get the fuck over yourself.
bout this thread...
Posted by CapTennPosted by Arielle83
Believe it or not, non-Americans know a lot about America.
You guys shove it down our throats. You vomit it all over the media. Issues, politics, crime, healthcare, Hollywood, welfare system, societal unrest etc. etc. etc.
However, I bet you can't say anything about most of the issues within other countries unless America had some sort of involvement or influence.
America, fuck yeah!
Isn't it a fact that most Americans don't even hold a passport? Shucks.
Our media doesn't show up on Australian airwaves.
That's your media glorifying 'Merica. We have nothing to do with what countries halfway across the globe are force fed.
Do something of significance and blaze your own trail. Then you can quit swinging from our balls.
click to expand
Posted by IllaLupus
The thing that gets me about scorp men, is the emotions, and the beauty of it all when he starts to let you into his world. A golden cup brimming with passionate elixir. Got to luv em.
The description of ALLLL descriptions.
Posted by MissFisk
You're probably better off taking that junk to the Cancer board. They'll eat that shit up.
Bookmarked.
Posted by Reincarnation
I think you may need some saltpeter.
Posted by Prince_Pisces
Why is this whole football thing so interesting? Help me understand
...
Posted by Prince_Pisces
My friend posted a picture of herself with those markings under her eyes like the players have. I thought she had a stroke and couldn't put on make-up properlyclick to expand
Posted by GENERALIZOD
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY HOT SCORPIO DENTIST.
SO I'M SITTING THERE IN THE CHAIR MOUTH WIDE OPEN AND I SEE HER IN THE CORNER OF MY EYE DOING NOTHING AND I GO UMM EXCUSE ME ARE WE GOING TO START YET I HAVE... WELL OKAY I HAVE NOTHING TO DO FOR THE REST OF THE DAY BUT I'D LIKE THIS TO BE FINISHED SOON. SHE'S LIKE "WAIT COULDN'T YOU SEE I WAS BROODING IN THE CORNER?!".
SHE PUTS ON GLOVES AND SLAPS ME IN THE FACE. "YOU CAN'T RESIST A SCORPIO WOMAN!". MEANWHILE MY MOUTH IS STILL BEING HELD OPEN BY A CONTRAPTION SO I SAY "HOWKAY!" "I WARN'T RYINGTUH RESHISHT!" "I NEED TO PEE!"
I GO TO THE BATHROOM LOOKING FOR A WINDOW. THERE WAS NONE. SHE YELLS "I SEE YOU'RE A TAURUS!" FML SHE MUST HAVE WATCHED THAT UBIQUITOUS JAMES BOND VIDEO ON YOUTUBE. FACT CHECK: PIERCE BROSNAN IS MARRIED TO A LIBRA WOMAN! I SAY YES TO BUY MORE TIME. I OPEN THE MEDICINE CABINET AND FIND A SYRINGE AND ANABOLIC STEROIDS. WAIT WHAT? WHY IS THIS HERE? NVM I PUT SOME IN THE SYRINGE AND PALM IT.
AS I GO OUT OF THE BATHROOM I PUSH HER OFF. SHE FALLS BACK BUT THERE'S A STRUGGLE. DAMN THIS SKINNY BITCH IS STRONG AND FULL OF DENSE MUSCLE! MY UNCALLOUSED VENUSIAN HANDS MIGHT LOSE THIS BATTLE BUT I DON'T. I STAB HER CUNT WITH THE SYRINGE AND INJECT IT WITH 100ML OF DECA DURABOLIN! LET'S SEE WHO CAN'T RESIST YOU NOW AFTER YOU GROW NUTSACKS! MUAHAHAHA! HANDSOMELY I RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET AT THE BACK OF A HYUNDAI. MY TRUSTED AQUARIUS MAN SERVANT ENRIQUE AT THE WHEEL.
Posted by Huldra
Well I'm a pisces, with 4 pisces placements in my whole chart. So I'm pretty sure I know a pisces better then anyone..I mean since I AM one. Lol...
Pardon, Pisces Matriarch. Go on advising.click to expand
Topic (by scorpio troll sfsmoke):
"rank these men in order from greatest to least based on how attracted you are to them
for pisces girls
Scorpio Men
Aries Men
Taurus Men
aquarius men"
Post:
"rank these men in order from greatest to least based on how attracted you are to them
for pisces girls
Scorpio Men
Aries Men
Taurus Men
aquarius men"
Post:
Posted by MissFisk
aquarius men
Aries men
Taurus men
gay men
men who still ilves in their mom's basement at 40 yrs old
men who are in jail
that homeless dude in the corner picking his nose and screaming at anyone who passes by
lesbians
a Tonka trunk
Scorpio men
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Shruikan
...really? Her eyes dilate when she looks at you...? As in, you're literally shining so bright you're giving off light that's causing her eyes to noticeably dilate right before your eyes? And she has hands that are "ice cold."...Your not girlfriend sounds a lot like Edward. Is your not girlfriend Edward?click to expand
Hey I remember this. His vampire not girlfriend is still not his girlfriend, but she still CLEARLY loves him. In case anyone wanted an update.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
DXP =
"I'm confused!"
"I'm confused!"
"He's confusing!"
"I'm sleeping with a married man and am confused!"
"OMG DAMNATA BLAH BLAH"
"I hate women!"
"(insert philosophical thread)"
"Favorite sex position."
"I love being controversial by starting a racism topic!"
"I'm so confused."
"I sleep with married men! Feel sorry for me!"
😆 *wipe tear*...
Posted by Noreallynow
Wtf is honest cheating? When is cheating honest? This is a fucking joke, right?
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/honest-cheating-5352345/
Posted by CluelessCancerPosted by greenlight
Cuz most people these days are fucking either liars, cheaters, theives, manipulators, gossipers, or drama queens. I read peoples relationship bs on here and they want love or want someone to give them life when they themselves are cheating (physical or emotion), lying, backstabbing, constantly hurting the person or rejecting them, or abusive in some way. Reading this shit makes me feel like living in the woods. It makes me so angry to see this type of shit. So angry that I'm never coming back to this site. People degrade people they claim they care bout then got the audacity to play the victim. Objectifying women. Objectifying men. People cheating in their marriage with no qualms about it. People purposely trying to bring someone down. People giving every explicit detail in sex had. People trying to tell people shit they clearly know nothing about. People stalkin people but won't simply talk to then. Is this really what this has come to. People in their 30s 40s 50s 60s acting like this. When I get home from work I'm going to go hug my man and tell him how much I love and appreciate him. I met some wonderful people on here but reading this shit is even hurtful to me so I'm ghost.
do u know what your man is doing behind your back lol he could be on dxp.click to expand
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Softly force face to face meetings. Don't be responsive to texts and fb stuff. Let him smell your fat. We are animals. Make sure the CD of his brain cells gets burned by your face, smell, voice, laughs, flaws etc.
Lol. I just luv that....
Posted by seraphPosted by Astrobyn
and for more awesome maps of the world: http://alphadesigner.com/mapping-stereotypes/click to expand
oh that's funny. i can't read the european ones (both west and east, north and south) i can see the boot of italy but the words are hard to make out.
i see madagasgar but it's so hard to read.
dear lord, is mexico housekeeping??
hmmm it is kind of true, where in the U.S., many of the maids in hotels/motels are mexican born.
dear lord, is mexico housekeeping??
hmmm it is kind of true, where in the U.S., many of the maids in hotels/motels are mexican born.
Hmm.
The things you find in a gutter passed out.
The things you find in a gutter passed out.
Posted by RomzPosted by exoskeletonPosted by Romz
If one of us has to walk alone into the forest for the rest of the village to know it's littered with wolves....
I will be that townie.
I knew it then like I know it now...it was perfection.
Thank-you
Waves hand slowly
click to expand
Aww I would have went with you to fight off scary wolves.
That or trip you as a distraction and run.
Posted by AstrobynPosted by CluelessCancerPosted by greenlight
Cuz most people these days are fucking either liars, cheaters, theives, manipulators, gossipers, or drama queens. I read peoples relationship bs on here and they want love or want someone to give them life when they themselves are cheating (physical or emotion), lying, backstabbing, constantly hurting the person or rejecting them, or abusive in some way. Reading this shit makes me feel like living in the woods. It makes me so angry to see this type of shit. So angry that I'm never coming back to this site. People degrade people they claim they care bout then got the audacity to play the victim. Objectifying women. Objectifying men. People cheating in their marriage with no qualms about it. People purposely trying to bring someone down. People giving every explicit detail in sex had. People trying to tell people shit they clearly know nothing about. People stalkin people but won't simply talk to then. Is this really what this has come to. People in their 30s 40s 50s 60s acting like this. When I get home from work I'm going to go hug my man and tell him how much I love and appreciate him. I met some wonderful people on here but reading this shit is even hurtful to me so I'm ghost.
do u know what your man is doing behind your back lol he could be on dxp.click to expand
Lmao
I was reading this hilarious thread and then all of a sudden.... Bam! I'm on it.... I'm hanging my head in shame now.....quickly skulking away.
Posted by Prince_PiscesPosted by AirMan
oh i'm pretty sure you'll attract a woman before you leave this earth Prince_Pisces. you just have to wait for the right one. don't do like i did when i fell for any woman that came on to me at an early age and later regret it.
I think myself, CuriousRam, and Eleventh_Sign could learn a lot from you.click to expand
You have to be pretty gay to be on DXP in the first place
Posted by LillyBlossom
Cats are what's keeping chickens from coming into your house right now and raping you. You're just too simple to see that logic
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Relationships are NOT therapy. The end.
I'm breaking the rules of this topic..and posting something I found someplace else.
It is the best post I came across today.
(From the comments section of an article mocking The Rules):
"i wish these were updated to be THE RULES... FOR THE APOCALYPSE! ladies, (and i only mean ladies, no men, and obviously no one exists in between these gender polarities, because these are RULES not guidelines or observations based on the lived experiences of human beans) December 2012 hurries upon us, and the only way to survive and flourish is by securing the most dangerous game: a penis-creature.
as everyone knows, penis-creatures are RARE and weirdly STUPID as well as being crafty, but not like we're crafty with the macaroni pictures, doilies and whatnot. the other kind of crafty. so, the huntress must set her trap artfully, and draw the wily penis-creature in with clever hair-touching, ankle-crossing, and minimal eye contact. we huntresses must also avoid seeming like we want to hunt, so yawning while thrusting our bosoms towards the dawn is essential to luring the penis-creature close. the creature will resist our attention, as our attention is not unlike kryptonite, so we must direct our focus elsewhere, like maybe a mirror (unless we are lady draculas) or a small burgeoning freckle on one arm, or our own cleavage.
it is VERY IMPORTANT to feign boredom and disdain at all times, lest the penis-creature lose its desire to possess our awareness. in extreme cases, huntresses may want to cross their eyes in order to confuse their prey.
the dating world of the apocalyptic future is strange and confusing. our ripped stockings and fur-trimmed uggs will no longer serve us in the brave new world of rock-sexting and cybertronic-cave-erotica. the only way to survive is to turn every instinct upside down, and to exist in a bizarro world of suppressed and inverted impulses and thwarted agency. welcome to the future ladies, your leather bikini and sexual frustration await you."
It is the best post I came across today.
(From the comments section of an article mocking The Rules):
"i wish these were updated to be THE RULES... FOR THE APOCALYPSE! ladies, (and i only mean ladies, no men, and obviously no one exists in between these gender polarities, because these are RULES not guidelines or observations based on the lived experiences of human beans) December 2012 hurries upon us, and the only way to survive and flourish is by securing the most dangerous game: a penis-creature.
as everyone knows, penis-creatures are RARE and weirdly STUPID as well as being crafty, but not like we're crafty with the macaroni pictures, doilies and whatnot. the other kind of crafty. so, the huntress must set her trap artfully, and draw the wily penis-creature in with clever hair-touching, ankle-crossing, and minimal eye contact. we huntresses must also avoid seeming like we want to hunt, so yawning while thrusting our bosoms towards the dawn is essential to luring the penis-creature close. the creature will resist our attention, as our attention is not unlike kryptonite, so we must direct our focus elsewhere, like maybe a mirror (unless we are lady draculas) or a small burgeoning freckle on one arm, or our own cleavage.
it is VERY IMPORTANT to feign boredom and disdain at all times, lest the penis-creature lose its desire to possess our awareness. in extreme cases, huntresses may want to cross their eyes in order to confuse their prey.
the dating world of the apocalyptic future is strange and confusing. our ripped stockings and fur-trimmed uggs will no longer serve us in the brave new world of rock-sexting and cybertronic-cave-erotica. the only way to survive is to turn every instinct upside down, and to exist in a bizarro world of suppressed and inverted impulses and thwarted agency. welcome to the future ladies, your leather bikini and sexual frustration await you."
Posted by seraph
Well there goes the entire thread.
We'll have to start all over again.
I can't even
feign my disdain.
*returns to finish macaroni picture*
You on the prowl for penis-creatures too?
Divert thy shy eyes, red blushing mane!
exoskeleton
i went once. high on white rhino. i don't remember much except chicken legs, jousting, and midgets.
Posted by HappyCapper
Oh yeah, seems Josef Mengele also had a venus fire singleton. Awsome! 😢
Posted by PhoenixRising
Scorps can't discuss feelings they haven't processed. Otherwise it comes out verbally as a drunken rant and that is disconcerting.
Posted by LillyBlossomPosted by Prince_Pisces
Oh, I remember her. It took me like 5 minutes to realize she wasn't Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy is my favorite muppet!!! She is needy while Kermit has commitment issues. They'd fit perfectly here at DXP.click to expand
_??
Posted by tizianiPosted by feby
I'm a fan. 🙂 my son is a sag sun gem moon and one of it not my fav person on here has a gem moon. No complaints.
tiziani:"omg feby 😄 !"
feby:"actually I was talking about ScorpioFish"
tiziani:"oh... I knew that"
feby:"... this is awkward"
click to expand
Posted by Rabbit
What doesn't nag you into hanging yourself with an extension cord makes you stronger.
Idk. Typo or not, if a woman picked me up by the package and threw me I'd be pretty turned on.
Posted by Soul
Idk. Typo or not, if a woman picked me up by the package and threw me I'd be pretty turned on.
😆!!!
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