LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts
Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35718 · Topics: 110
Child adoption and the "RACE" issue. (Page 2)
You are on page out of 3 | Reverse Order
Posted by ellesbellesThis is so beautiful ❤Posted by PlutonianYou can but can I say thank you for acknowledging my effort?Posted by ellesbellescan I just say thank you for even making the effort though? Seriously. Incorporating a black santa may seem small but it's not.
I didn't adopt but I have children who are multiracial.
I tried to celebrate Kwanzaa, I only allowed black Santa Clauses and Christmas Angels.....would find a mall with a black Santa (sometimes had to drive hours)...wrapping paper couldn't have white people on it....band aids had prints because you couldn't find any skin tone but white. They had every hair style they ever wanted....my oldest even wanted straight hair once....we tried with a store bought relaxer and we cried together as we shaved it all off...
#WhiteMomFail
Their father ridiculed me something fierce over all of it.
My sons laughed at me.....
Until now....they have their own kids. At 25 and 27....they are now thanking me.
Their was a huge contrast between culture in my family and their dad's.....and they experienced both. Their step father was Kenyan....so a third culture was also in the mix.
Despite my eccentric ways and sometimes hyper sensitive awareness to making sure they got the best and worse of all worlds....
They are the most awesome (and self aware) men and fathers I know.
A lot of people....both black and white.....thought I was nuts.
There were many times the ridicule got to me and I would cry ( by myself).
This year my oldest son's wife brought up the black Santa stories to me.....she is Hispanic. He told those stories to her when they were discussing how to incorporate both of their cultures with their son.
I could finally exhale and flip off all the assholes who made me feel like a fool all these years.
It mattered!!!! ❤
click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneYou can keep your kids in a controlled environment only so long (kids as young as preschool categorize and demonstrate racial preferences) but if you don't prepare them for how the world will perceive and treat them, you are doing them a deep disservice.
@plutonian did you grow up in a small town/predominantly white town?
I can’t see this being an issue in my city. Kids go to school with kids with two moms or two dads, kids every color of the rainbow, etc etc. If your exposed to all different examples of family you don’t think yours is that unconventional after all.
Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesIt's no a zero sum game. Out-of-home placement used to be the "go to" over placing kids with extended family. That changed as a result of top-down policy. Why not address the reality that resources could be/should be spent recruiting all kinds of families for adoption and therefore, having a bigger pool to match kids for better long-term outcomes, like maintaining community and culture. But also, its my understanding that the thousands of kids languishing away in foster care or other out-of-home placements aren't there because nice white families were turned away for being white. A lot of kids are in foster care are older, have special physical and psychological needs. Termination of parental rights can also take many many years.
All these comments about white people adopting black children has to be some of the most disgusting posts I have read!
Why I am feeling the need to rant about this. I will explain:
UNICEF stats
17.8 million children worldwide have lost both parents (“double orphan”)
153 million children worldwide have lost either one parent (“single orphan”) or both parents
Worldwide, there are 168 million who are child laborers, accounting for almost 11 percent of children
264 million children and youth are out of school
There are 62.8 million children worldwide who suffer from acute malnutrition. 1 in 7 children were estimated to be underweight in less developed regions 16% of the under 5. Nearly half of all deaths in children under 5 are attributable to undernutrition. This translates into the unnecessary loss of about 3 million young lives a year.
66 million primary school-age children attend classes hungry across the developing world, with 23 million in Africa alone. About 45% of all child deaths are linked to malnutrition
Top eleven affected countries:
United Republic of Tanzania - Orphan population: 3.1 million
South Africa - Orphan population: 3.5 million
Brazil - Orphan population: 3.7 million
Pakistan - Orphan population: 4.2 million
Congo - Orphan population: 4.2 million
Indonesia - Orphan population: 4.8 million
Ethiopia - Orphan population: 4.8 million
Bangladesh - Orphan population: 4.8 million
Nigeria - Orphan population: 12 million
China - Orphan population: 20.6 million
India - Orphan population: 31 million
So if some white family wants to adopt a child who is not of their race, who the hell are you to judge!
That child is going to have a better life or would you prefer they be part of the 168 million child laborers, and god only knows those that are affected by trafficking.
#rantover!
Posted by TheRabbitIts true that we allow many, many kids to live in perpetual crisis in this country (its one of the most egregious demonstrations of how immoral and hypocritical we are as a community) but the reasons are far more complex than the cultural matching priorities in some counties.Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesExcept it does matter.
I am all for adopting children in or from your own country/background when and if possible.... but lets be honest, how many parents from the worst affected countries like Africa can afford to adopt then. As long as a child gets a happy and loving home, it should not matter where they originate from.
Those local children in the foster care system, if not adopted, never leave the "system". They just get transferred from foster care to rehab or prisons when they turn 18.
click to expand
Posted by SupesThe adoptive families I know and admire (where the parents are white and the children are not white) have taken an inventory of their lives and made changes in their own lives, living situations and communities outside of their comfort zones for the sake of their children (and, ultimately, enriched their own lives!). They did not want their kid to be the only black/brown/multi-racial kid in their neighborhood/school etc. They actively worked to become more conscious about the things they were previously able to take for granted as white people. They started looking at the world more critically and educated themselves about race and racism in the US. They talk openly with their children about the how the world may perceive their children and sought help and guidance and generous mentors for themselves and their children because they know, as white people, that they are not always going to get it right. They prioritized their children and the reality those children would face and the wealth and beauty of the cultures from which they got their DNA.Posted by LittleStarHow is it possible to teach them a different culture than your own?
If you want to ignore that a child has a different race than you and has literally lost their entire culture you should not adopt. Period.click to expand
Posted by CHSI never said anything about sheltering your kids.Posted by LadyNeptuneYou can keep your kids in a controlled environment only so long (kids as young as preschool categorize and demonstrate racial preferences) but if you don't prepare them for how the world will perceive and treat them, you are doing them a deep disservice.
@plutonian did you grow up in a small town/predominantly white town?
I can’t see this being an issue in my city. Kids go to school with kids with two moms or two dads, kids every color of the rainbow, etc etc. If your exposed to all different examples of family you don’t think yours is that unconventional after all.click to expand
It’s proven that people are more accepting and open minded in large cities. You have a higher population of transplants, bigger melting pot, diverse society. More inclusion less exclusion.
Racial preferences are taught, learned at home. So those preschoolers either have racist mouthy parents, or they live in ethnic isolation.
Posted by SupesThe world is going to treat them differently than they treat your white kid. Not preparing them for that (or pro-actively surrounding them with positive learning about their genetic/cultural ancestry and history in order to counteract the negative stereotypes that will be imposed on them by the world outside your home) is doing them a grave injustice.Posted by LittleStarI’d raise them as my own child and no different than I do my own right now.Posted by SupesAdoption isn’t about you. Just as parenting shouldn’t be about you. I think you are thinking I’m saying you should drop your own culture and perform theirs. I’m not. I’m saying you should recognize and research their background and have that knowledge and also allow them space to discover and explore it on their own as they grow up.Posted by LittleStarWhy would I want to though. Then I’d be changing my very own culture. Is it wrong to let kids live in a different culture?Posted by SupesYou educate yourself about it and you allow them the space to research as much as they want and let them celebrate it as much as they need.Posted by LittleStarHow is it possible to teach them a different culture than your own?
If you want to ignore that a child has a different race than you and has literally lost their entire culture you should not adopt. Period.
If you did things like you’re suggesting.......I think they’d always feel “different” or like an “outsider”.click to expand
Posted by SupesPosted by PlutonianThey’re not black. Just like a black family couldn’t properly teach you “white culture”.Posted by SupesPosted by PlutonianBecause it’s impossible for someone to do that.
I'm biracial (half black and half white) and was also adopted by an all white family. I was always taken care of and loved but I grew up extremely confused about my racial identity which isn't uncommon in my situation. The thing is that kid/child is different and they will experience things you've never had to even think about. They will have periods throughout their life where they will feel like they're family loves them because they're the acceptable kind of "black" and they will also, more than likely, have to be surrounded by racist family members/views. I know I did. I also feel like a part of my culture was taken from me because my family is all white and at the time decided it wasn't important enough and would make feel like an "outsider".
I couldn’t raise a child in an African American culture. It’s impossible.
Sounds like they raised you the best they could, as a person. A human being.
Where did I say they had to raise me in African American culture? What I said was I feel like a part of my culture was taken from me because they decided it wouldn't matter and that's a misstep on their part. It is important. It does matter. But if you can't do something like acknowledge your kid is black and is a part of black culture and figure out what that means for them..well then you should.
I spent a good part of my childhood being way to self-conscious of being proper/acceptable so I didn't stand out with certain family members and that isn't healthy.
They adopted a black child, of course they acknowledged your skin tone.
Taken from you? You were given something. You were given a home, safe environment (normally) and an education.
Would you have been happier staying in the system until a black family CHOSE you to love and raise?click to expand
I am inclined to believe Plutonian's actual, lived experience rather than your perception of how you think it should feel to be a biracial person adopted by a white family.
Posted by SupesThere is a search engine called "Google" that is pretty amazing at finding information. There is a lot on this topic if you take the time to read up: https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/talking-about-adoption/white-parents-adopting-black-children/Posted by LadyNeptuneI want to hear solutions. I want to hear how it’s fixedPosted by SupesI’m actually agreeing with you on this.Posted by PlutonianBecause it’s impossible for someone to do that.
I'm biracial (half black and half white) and was also adopted by an all white family. I was always taken care of and loved but I grew up extremely confused about my racial identity which isn't uncommon in my situation. The thing is that kid/child is different and they will experience things you've never had to even think about. They will have periods throughout their life where they will feel like they're family loves them because they're the acceptable kind of "black" and they will also, more than likely, have to be surrounded by racist family members/views. I know I did. I also feel like a part of my culture was taken from me because my family is all white and at the time decided it wasn't important enough and would make feel like an "outsider".
I couldn’t raise a child in an African American culture. It’s impossible.
Sounds like they raised you the best they could, as a person. A human being.
If you want to blame a lack of culture on someone blame it on the biological parents who failed you. Not the adoptive parents who’ve given you everything else.click to expand
Posted by SupesI don't think "human who is an engineer" is analogous to "human with wider perspective about other human experiences".Posted by kreolBut, that’s only so muchPosted by SupesYou're preparing them to deal with the harsh realities of the outside world which sees them as a person of colour first and foremost, and at the same time empowering them with a firm knowledge of where they come from. If you know who are and are aware of your roots, nobody can take that away from you and make you believe you're anything but equal to everyone else. Look it at this way, effectively you're building their self-esteem up in a world that was built to tear them down.Posted by kreolOk, I’m open minded to this obviously as I’m talking.Posted by SupesIt's not impossible. It's called research and a willingness to learn with the child and step out your comfort zone for the good of the childPosted by PlutonianBecause it’s impossible for someone to do that.
I'm biracial (half black and half white) and was also adopted by an all white family. I was always taken care of and loved but I grew up extremely confused about my racial identity which isn't uncommon in my situation. The thing is that kid/child is different and they will experience things you've never had to even think about. They will have periods throughout their life where they will feel like they're family loves them because they're the acceptable kind of "black" and they will also, more than likely, have to be surrounded by racist family members/views. I know I did. I also feel like a part of my culture was taken from me because my family is all white and at the time decided it wasn't important enough and would make feel like an "outsider".
I couldn’t raise a child in an African American culture. It’s impossible.
Sounds like they raised you the best they could, as a person. A human being.
Say I research, educate myself and all that. What comes next? Action wise? What would I do?
How would I actually TEACH it?
Book learning, enrolling in specific classes. Put yourself out there, socialise and participate in cultural exchanges in the form of community events, network and build relationship with members from the community.
Here's an example, I was looking for something else but found this, albeit biological not adopted
http://www.msnbc.com/melissa-harris-perry/how-my-white-mother-shaped-me-black
I can read, watch videos and all that stuff to learn how to be an engineer. If I’m not mechanically inclined, I’ll never “get it”.
That’s the point I’m making
Otherwise, the things you’ve provided is simply called, living.click to expand
Posted by SupesIf you knew the answer, then why ask the question? And I'm guessing your conversation of your ginger kid would be a bit different if red heads experienced systematic bias and were targeted disproportionately by police with excessive force; if you were less likely to be able to live where you live and have access to the teachers and schools your gifted kids have access to because of red hair; punished more harshly than peers for minor infractions in school, less likely to get a job, a loan, or fair treatment by the justice system. I.e. not something that parents of black and brown kids get to joke about because it keeps them up at night.Posted by CHSEvery parent should do that with their child. I’ve had to have talks with my son concerning his red hair as well as “daddy, why are the black kids always mean to me”. LolPosted by SupesThe adoptive families I know and admire (where the parents are white and the children are not white) have taken an inventory of their lives and made changes in their own lives, living situations and communities outside of their comfort zones for the sake of their children (and, ultimately, enriched their own lives!). They did not want their kid to be the only black/brown/multi-racial kid in their neighborhood/school etc. They actively worked to become more conscious about the things they were previously able to take for granted as white people. They started looking at the world more critically and educated themselves about race and racism in the US. They talk openly with their children about the how the world may perceive their children and sought help and guidance and generous mentors for themselves and their children because they know, as white people, that they are not always going to get it right. They prioritized their children and the reality those children would face and the wealth and beauty of the cultures from which they got their DNA.Posted by LittleStarHow is it possible to teach them a different culture than your own?
If you want to ignore that a child has a different race than you and has literally lost their entire culture you should not adopt. Period.click to expand
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeThat’s because your vision is clouded by your emotions.Posted by LadyNeptuneHer culture? What culture? All i see is a white woman ruining a young black boyPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeCharlise is South African. Of course they will let her adopt. And of course she will pass her culture down to her kids.Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesBexcuse African boys aren't girlsPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeWhat is so wrong with that? Because society says only girls should bear dresses?Posted by TheRabbitAnd making them wear dresses at 5 years old
As an adoptive parent, I can tell you there are plenty of children in the US that need homes, so we don't need to be pillaging orphans from other countries.
As I posted in the comment you made children explore and experience things. Why is this not aloud. She said herself they thought her job entails her working at Halloween. I would bet they see her in character. She is dressing up. They in turn will want to dress up. Why should she bring up her children with similar views to you that a boy must not wear pink. A boy cannot wear a dress while woman wear trousers. Scott's wear kilts. The entire Scottish men's population is therefore gay right?
And so what if he is gay or gender confused or whatever. Good for him for feeling comfortable enough to express it early on in a society that should not judge him for it.
You fuking liberal turd
You do understand environment had a huge impact on identity
.you can realize that there are cultures in the world who want to remain intact and not forced to adjust to this idiotic gender fluidity movement right
Just Bexcuse someone thinks differently than you doesn't mean they're wrong
How can a5 year old be gay? Confused? Or anything else
At that age kids act at their parents whims
What's going to confuse him when he grows up is his mother dressing him as a girl
That's what going to confuse him
South Africa should have never let that loser adopt
Your acting pretty spoiled rn crying about the mistreatment of these kids. What’s worse...abuse, preyed on by adults, starvation, poverty, etc as an orphan?
Or having a celebrity adopt you and getting to choose which designer threads you want to wear? Best education money can buy. Trust fund. House in your native country + LA + NY.
Tough decision 🙄
click to expand
She’s related to Danie Theron. I’d imagine shes deeply connected to her roots.
Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesYes and no.Posted by TheRabbitAgreed. But other adoptive parents should not be shamed for their choice of where the child comes from if they are willing to give a child a loving home.
As an adoptive parent, I can tell you there are plenty of children in the US that need homes, so we don't need to be pillaging orphans from other countries.
click to expand
I have mixed feelings but only because I have african americans friends who were adopted by white parents
and their level of self hatred is really sad.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't be able to adopt whoever they want.
Race is a social construct but we live in a world where it isn't treated as such
so when a black child tells their adopted white parent about xy and z happening to them ( things their parents will never have to experience because of their race)
it's near difficult to impossible really to bridge that gap...no matter how much that white parent loves that black child.
There also is this whole paternalistic undertone to the whole "interracial adoption" trend which i think is really what bothers CC the most.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeSorry to burst your bubble but we are all the white mans play toy.Posted by LadyNeptuneShe's turning am African king into a white man's play toyPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeThat’s because your vision is clouded by your emotions.Posted by LadyNeptuneHer culture? What culture? All i see is a white woman ruining a young black boyPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeCharlise is South African. Of course they will let her adopt. And of course she will pass her culture down to her kids.Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesBexcuse African boys aren't girlsPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeWhat is so wrong with that? Because society says only girls should bear dresses?Posted by TheRabbitAnd making them wear dresses at 5 years old
As an adoptive parent, I can tell you there are plenty of children in the US that need homes, so we don't need to be pillaging orphans from other countries.
As I posted in the comment you made children explore and experience things. Why is this not aloud. She said herself they thought her job entails her working at Halloween. I would bet they see her in character. She is dressing up. They in turn will want to dress up. Why should she bring up her children with similar views to you that a boy must not wear pink. A boy cannot wear a dress while woman wear trousers. Scott's wear kilts. The entire Scottish men's population is therefore gay right?
And so what if he is gay or gender confused or whatever. Good for him for feeling comfortable enough to express it early on in a society that should not judge him for it.
You fuking liberal turd
You do understand environment had a huge impact on identity
.you can realize that there are cultures in the world who want to remain intact and not forced to adjust to this idiotic gender fluidity movement right
Just Bexcuse someone thinks differently than you doesn't mean they're wrong
How can a5 year old be gay? Confused? Or anything else
At that age kids act at their parents whims
What's going to confuse him when he grows up is his mother dressing him as a girl
That's what going to confuse him
South Africa should have never let that loser adopt
Your acting pretty spoiled rn crying about the mistreatment of these kids. What’s worse...abuse, preyed on by adults, starvation, poverty, etc as an orphan?
Or having a celebrity adopt you and getting to choose which designer threads you want to wear? Best education money can buy. Trust fund. House in your native country + LA + NY.
Tough decision 🙄
She’s related to Danie Theron. I’d imagine shes deeply connected to her roots.
She keep doing that shit someone going to assault him
She's begging pedophiliac to come rape her son
She's the worst mother to have ever existed on earthclick to expand
As for the begging for rape nonsense...tf?
She’s hardly the worst mother in existence. Come on, now your just being overly dramatic. Chill.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeSounds a lot more like control to me.
There's two genders male female.
Now my son come to me and say mom i want to dress like a woman at 25. I'll be okay
But until then it's my duty to raise a man Bexcuse biologically HE'S A MAN
As an adult that's his choice. As a child I'm helping him form his identity
What are your thoughts on Jaden Smith?
Posted by AdreamuponwakingAs usual, on point.Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesYes and no.Posted by TheRabbitAgreed. But other adoptive parents should not be shamed for their choice of where the child comes from if they are willing to give a child a loving home.
As an adoptive parent, I can tell you there are plenty of children in the US that need homes, so we don't need to be pillaging orphans from other countries.
I have mixed feelings but only because I have african americans friends who were adopted by white parents
and their level of self hatred is really sad.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't be able to adopt whoever they want.
Race is a social construct but we live in a world where it isn't treated as such
so when a black child tells their adopted white parent about xy and z happening to them ( things their parents will never have to experience because of their race)
it's near difficult to impossible really to bridge that gap...no matter how much that white parent loves that black child.
There also is this whole paternalistic undertone to the whole "interracial adoption" trend which i think is really what bothers CC the most.
click to expand
And I'd argue gender norms are also a social construct. 90/95 years ago women didn’t wear pants, and now...
All this noise over a little boy wearing a dress.
I taught swim lessons for 10 years. Lots of little guys wearing pink/purple nail polish and long hair. I don’t see the big deal 🤷♀️
Posted by LadyNeptuneyeah it's good in a way if you are a queer person to have liberal educated parents regardless if they adopted you or not so that you have a better chance at escaping gender policing.....Posted by AdreamuponwakingAs usual, on point.Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesYes and no.Posted by TheRabbitAgreed. But other adoptive parents should not be shamed for their choice of where the child comes from if they are willing to give a child a loving home.
As an adoptive parent, I can tell you there are plenty of children in the US that need homes, so we don't need to be pillaging orphans from other countries.
I have mixed feelings but only because I have african americans friends who were adopted by white parents
and their level of self hatred is really sad.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't be able to adopt whoever they want.
Race is a social construct but we live in a world where it isn't treated as such
so when a black child tells their adopted white parent about xy and z happening to them ( things their parents will never have to experience because of their race)
it's near difficult to impossible really to bridge that gap...no matter how much that white parent loves that black child.
There also is this whole paternalistic undertone to the whole "interracial adoption" trend which i think is really what bothers CC the most.
And I'd argue gender norms are also a social construct. 90/95 years ago women didn’t wear pants, and now...
All this noise over a little boy wearing a dress.
I taught swim lessons for 10 years. Lots of little guys wearing pink/purple nail polish and long hair. I don’t see the big deal 🤷♀️
click to expand
well at least as far as your home.
charlize is an actress ...so i really think that kid is lucky in that aspect
jackson * is going to grow up and be the person they want to be
mainly because they will have the money to do so
and because charlize is wise enough to let them be.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeSo the judgement and the slander with the whole ‘she’s a bad mother, she’s inviting rape’ is because your uncomfortable. This is really about your comfort level.Posted by LadyNeptuneI think he still looks like a dude playing with different type of style s trying to create a unique image Bexcuse doing the same as everyone is not going to cut it. It's gimmickyPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeSounds a lot more like control to me.
There's two genders male female.
Now my son come to me and say mom i want to dress like a woman at 25. I'll be okay
But until then it's my duty to raise a man Bexcuse biologically HE'S A MAN
As an adult that's his choice. As a child I'm helping him form his identity
What are your thoughts on Jaden Smith?
That boy Charlize is dressing as a straight girl. Like you can't tell if he's a boy or not
With Jaden i know he's a boy .plus his parents didn't dress him in pink dresses and tutus whilst he was growing up
He just started doing things like carrying a man purse and shit like that
He's really not even androgynous at all
click to expand
Get over yourself.
Posted by DeadInsideAndrogyny is hot rn 🔥🔥🔥Posted by LadyNeptunehe wear dress but was representing the saint laurent brand, like kanye west did with givenchy.Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeSounds a lot more like control to me.
There's two genders male female.
Now my son come to me and say mom i want to dress like a woman at 25. I'll be okay
But until then it's my duty to raise a man Bexcuse biologically HE'S A MAN
As an adult that's his choice. As a child I'm helping him form his identity
What are your thoughts on Jaden Smith?
so.. i wont careclick to expand
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeyou are assuming that charlize said here wear this tutuPosted by LadyNeptuneI think he still looks like a dude playing with different type of style s trying to create a unique image Bexcuse doing the same as everyone is not going to cut it. It's gimmickyPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeSounds a lot more like control to me.
There's two genders male female.
Now my son come to me and say mom i want to dress like a woman at 25. I'll be okay
But until then it's my duty to raise a man Bexcuse biologically HE'S A MAN
As an adult that's his choice. As a child I'm helping him form his identity
What are your thoughts on Jaden Smith?
That boy Charlize is dressing as a straight girl. Like you can't tell if he's a boy or not
With Jaden i know he's a boy .plus his parents didn't dress him in pink dresses and tutus whilst he was growing up
He just started doing things like carrying a man purse and shit like that
He's really not even androgynous at all
click to expand
most likely jackson saw august wearing one and wanted to wear one
jackson also has been photographed wearing a lot of pink
which they weren't wearing when they were younger
they are at the age to pick their own clothing...hence the recent change
Posted by DeadInsideTranssexuals are starting to break into the fashion industry. Walking runway in swimsuit 😂Posted by LadyNeptunei think nothing about it, high fahion have weird trendPosted by DeadInsideAndrogyny is hot rn 🔥🔥🔥Posted by LadyNeptunehe wear dress but was representing the saint laurent brand, like kanye west did with givenchy.Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeSounds a lot more like control to me.
There's two genders male female.
Now my son come to me and say mom i want to dress like a woman at 25. I'll be okay
But until then it's my duty to raise a man Bexcuse biologically HE'S A MAN
As an adult that's his choice. As a child I'm helping him form his identity
What are your thoughts on Jaden Smith?
so.. i wont careclick to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneit all started with prince and bowie reallyPosted by DeadInsideAndrogyny is hot rn 🔥🔥🔥Posted by LadyNeptunehe wear dress but was representing the saint laurent brand, like kanye west did with givenchy.Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeSounds a lot more like control to me.
There's two genders male female.
Now my son come to me and say mom i want to dress like a woman at 25. I'll be okay
But until then it's my duty to raise a man Bexcuse biologically HE'S A MAN
As an adult that's his choice. As a child I'm helping him form his identity
What are your thoughts on Jaden Smith?
so.. i wont careclick to expand
then there was jenny shimizu
flash forward to ruby rose and orange is the new black
Posted by AdreamuponwakingBoy George, Alexander wang, Grace jones, Kurt Coban.Posted by LadyNeptuneit all started with prince and bowie reallyPosted by DeadInsideAndrogyny is hot rn 🔥🔥🔥Posted by LadyNeptunehe wear dress but was representing the saint laurent brand, like kanye west did with givenchy.Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeSounds a lot more like control to me.
There's two genders male female.
Now my son come to me and say mom i want to dress like a woman at 25. I'll be okay
But until then it's my duty to raise a man Bexcuse biologically HE'S A MAN
As an adult that's his choice. As a child I'm helping him form his identity
What are your thoughts on Jaden Smith?
so.. i wont care
then there was jenny shimizu
flash forward to ruby rose and orange is the new blackclick to expand
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeePosted by LadyNeptuneNo. It's about the fact that a boy born biologically a boy is being taught to dress and act like a female. He wasn't born a woman.Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeSo the judgement and the slander with the whole ‘she’s a bad mother, she’s inviting rape’ is because your uncomfortable. This is really about your comfort level.Posted by LadyNeptuneI think he still looks like a dude playing with different type of style s trying to create a unique image Bexcuse doing the same as everyone is not going to cut it. It's gimmickyPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeSounds a lot more like control to me.
There's two genders male female.
Now my son come to me and say mom i want to dress like a woman at 25. I'll be okay
But until then it's my duty to raise a man Bexcuse biologically HE'S A MAN
As an adult that's his choice. As a child I'm helping him form his identity
What are your thoughts on Jaden Smith?
That boy Charlize is dressing as a straight girl. Like you can't tell if he's a boy or not
With Jaden i know he's a boy .plus his parents didn't dress him in pink dresses and tutus whilst he was growing up
He just started doing things like carrying a man purse and shit like that
He's really not even androgynous at all
Get over yourself.
He was born a boy.
It's not about my comfort level. It's about Nature. Why would i mess with his nature and confuse him.
I'm there to protect his manhood not have him become the image of me Bexcuse he's not me
I'm not into this rara gender fluidity shit
I'm not into this let them figure it out shit
Boys wearing nail Polish isn't a big deal
But honestly the way she dresses him sometimes
He doesn't look like an African king
He looks like a 5 yr old drag queen
click to expand
Always so judgy...
That’s an awful lot of assumptions. At that age usually your letting the kid make his own choices.
Looks like someone’s a fan of Frozen.
I think Charlize is good people. Here she talks about how much her kids love each other.
Posted by DeadInsideIt’s actually brilliant. You want your show to be a show.Posted by LadyNeptunethis is cringe actually, and brand who needs to do weird thing for having attention are kind of low imo.Posted by DeadInsideTranssexuals are starting to break into the fashion industry. Walking runway in swimsuit 😂Posted by LadyNeptunei think nothing about it, high fahion have weird trendPosted by DeadInsideAndrogyny is hot rn 🔥🔥🔥Posted by LadyNeptunehe wear dress but was representing the saint laurent brand, like kanye west did with givenchy.Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeSounds a lot more like control to me.
There's two genders male female.
Now my son come to me and say mom i want to dress like a woman at 25. I'll be okay
But until then it's my duty to raise a man Bexcuse biologically HE'S A MAN
As an adult that's his choice. As a child I'm helping him form his identity
What are your thoughts on Jaden Smith?
so.. i wont care
and models are generally just here for wearing clothes we kind of dont give a shit what they think
the only thing who count is the creative director and his vision. so i still think nothing about it
click to expand
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeUmmm what?
That's why in Hollywood for a black comedian to make it they all have to wear dresses. Everyone. That's why Dave Chappelle quit. He was like I'm not going to wear a fuking dress.
Trying to feminize the black man is the white man's fetish
Not on Africa's watch
Fuk you with your agenda. And fuk offf
Chris Rock. Kevin Hart. Eddie freaking Murphy!
Look at you talking bout hollywood. Stick to shit you know.
Posted by DeadInsideThis is explained in like page 3 in the thread. Way less white babies available for adoption.
the real question is why "black" or "yellow" people dont feel the need to adopt "white" kids.
do you adopt a kid because you cant procreate or because you feel the need to save someone ?
why do you considere that those kids are being saved when they are adopted ?
Posted by DeadInsideIT girl is always different. Kooky. Outside the box.Posted by LadyNeptuneit's without interest, each years there is a new trends in high fashion, army style , rapper style , biker style androgyn style , again and again it's always the same thing.Posted by DeadInsideIt’s actually brilliant. You want your show to be a show.Posted by LadyNeptunethis is cringe actually, and brand who needs to do weird thing for having attention are kind of low imo.Posted by DeadInsideTranssexuals are starting to break into the fashion industry. Walking runway in swimsuit 😂Posted by LadyNeptunei think nothing about it, high fahion have weird trendPosted by DeadInsideAndrogyny is hot rn 🔥🔥🔥Posted by LadyNeptunehe wear dress but was representing the saint laurent brand, like kanye west did with givenchy.Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeSounds a lot more like control to me.
There's two genders male female.
Now my son come to me and say mom i want to dress like a woman at 25. I'll be okay
But until then it's my duty to raise a man Bexcuse biologically HE'S A MAN
As an adult that's his choice. As a child I'm helping him form his identity
What are your thoughts on Jaden Smith?
so.. i wont care
and models are generally just here for wearing clothes we kind of dont give a shit what they think
the only thing who count is the creative director and his vision. so i still think nothing about it
modele podium are choosed because of their height and their face, not sex or race.click to expand
Kate Moss
Cara Delevingue
Naomi
Or maybe that’s just my favs
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeTracey Morgan? Bill Cosby? Bernie Mac? Martin Lawrence? Steve Harvey?Posted by LadyNeptuneThey all wore dresses. Not sure about EddiePosted by CaramelizedCoffeeUmmm what?
That's why in Hollywood for a black comedian to make it they all have to wear dresses. Everyone. That's why Dave Chappelle quit. He was like I'm not going to wear a fuking dress.
Trying to feminize the black man is the white man's fetish
Not on Africa's watch
Fuk you with your agenda. And fuk offf
Chris Rock. Kevin Hart. Eddie freaking Murphy!
Look at you talking bout hollywood. Stick to shit you know.click to expand
Tyler Perry? Oh wait...
Posted by DeadInsideThe creative directors choice IS the model choice. It all starts with casting right.Posted by LadyNeptunecreative director choice, not model choicePosted by DeadInsideIT girl is always different. Kooky. Outside the box.Posted by LadyNeptuneit's without interest, each years there is a new trends in high fashion, army style , rapper style , biker style androgyn style , again and again it's always the same thing.Posted by DeadInsideIt’s actually brilliant. You want your show to be a show.Posted by LadyNeptunethis is cringe actually, and brand who needs to do weird thing for having attention are kind of low imo.Posted by DeadInsideTranssexuals are starting to break into the fashion industry. Walking runway in swimsuit 😂Posted by LadyNeptunei think nothing about it, high fahion have weird trendPosted by DeadInsideAndrogyny is hot rn 🔥🔥🔥Posted by LadyNeptunehe wear dress but was representing the saint laurent brand, like kanye west did with givenchy.Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeSounds a lot more like control to me.
There's two genders male female.
Now my son come to me and say mom i want to dress like a woman at 25. I'll be okay
But until then it's my duty to raise a man Bexcuse biologically HE'S A MAN
As an adult that's his choice. As a child I'm helping him form his identity
What are your thoughts on Jaden Smith?
so.. i wont care
and models are generally just here for wearing clothes we kind of dont give a shit what they think
the only thing who count is the creative director and his vision. so i still think nothing about it
modele podium are choosed because of their height and their face, not sex or race.
Kate Moss
Cara Delevingue
Naomi
Or maybe that’s just my favs
click to expand
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeI’m struggling to understand why someone putting on a dress is so threatening to you. Emasculating. Stfu. It’s comedy.Posted by LadyNeptuneI already did lawrence up above. Big momma house. In the redPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeTracey Morgan? Bill Cosby? Bernie Mac? Martin Lawrence? Steve Harvey?Posted by LadyNeptuneThey all wore dresses. Not sure about EddiePosted by CaramelizedCoffeeUmmm what?
That's why in Hollywood for a black comedian to make it they all have to wear dresses. Everyone. That's why Dave Chappelle quit. He was like I'm not going to wear a fuking dress.
Trying to feminize the black man is the white man's fetish
Not on Africa's watch
Fuk you with your agenda. And fuk offf
Chris Rock. Kevin Hart. Eddie freaking Murphy!
Look at you talking bout hollywood. Stick to shit you know.
Tyler Perry? Oh wait...
I can't vouch for every comedian but there's enough even Wayans brothers
Chris Tucker
"
Emasculating The Black Male: 15 Actors Who Wore a Dress For Success. Comedian Dave Chappelle explains the problem to talk show host Oprah Winfrey. Roles: Eddie Murphy is well-known for dressing up and physically transforming into his characters, especially women"click to expand
Posted by SupesWhat would you do to learn about the customs, arts, social institutions, attitudes, humor and achievements of a group of people or nation? Seek out the history and voices and members of people from that community or nation. Travel there. Live there. Read writers from there. Those are the things you might do for an adopted kid (or just for yourself, to challenge your own perspective and thinking, and to help dismantle the ways in which you've been programmed to benefit from and uphold white supremacy).Posted by CHSGood info. It was a good and enlightening experience. I was looking for the action measure of it. Like what could a person physically do to teach culture. Not just books/movies/musicPosted by SupesThere is a search engine called "Google" that is pretty amazing at finding information. There is a lot on this topic if you take the time to read up: https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/talking-about-adoption/white-parents-adopting-black-children/Posted by LadyNeptuneI want to hear solutions. I want to hear how it’s fixedPosted by SupesI’m actually agreeing with you on this.Posted by PlutonianBecause it’s impossible for someone to do that.
I'm biracial (half black and half white) and was also adopted by an all white family. I was always taken care of and loved but I grew up extremely confused about my racial identity which isn't uncommon in my situation. The thing is that kid/child is different and they will experience things you've never had to even think about. They will have periods throughout their life where they will feel like they're family loves them because they're the acceptable kind of "black" and they will also, more than likely, have to be surrounded by racist family members/views. I know I did. I also feel like a part of my culture was taken from me because my family is all white and at the time decided it wasn't important enough and would make feel like an "outsider".
I couldn’t raise a child in an African American culture. It’s impossible.
Sounds like they raised you the best they could, as a person. A human being.
If you want to blame a lack of culture on someone blame it on the biological parents who failed you. Not the adoptive parents who’ve given you everything else.click to expand
Fave cross dressing comedian, Eddie Izzard 😍😍😍
Posted by CHSNot plausible for most people and most jobs. Being a caretaker first and foremost means you need to be able to pay for life.Posted by SupesWhat would you do to learn about the customs, arts, social institutions, attitudes, humor and achievements of a group of people or nation? Seek out the history and voices and members of people from that community or nation. Travel there. Live there. Read writers from there. Those are the things you might do for an adopted kid (or just for yourself, to challenge your own perspective and thinking, and to help dismantle the ways in which you've been programmed to benefit from and uphold white supremacy).Posted by CHSGood info. It was a good and enlightening experience. I was looking for the action measure of it. Like what could a person physically do to teach culture. Not just books/movies/musicPosted by SupesThere is a search engine called "Google" that is pretty amazing at finding information. There is a lot on this topic if you take the time to read up: https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/talking-about-adoption/white-parents-adopting-black-children/Posted by LadyNeptuneI want to hear solutions. I want to hear how it’s fixedPosted by SupesI’m actually agreeing with you on this.Posted by PlutonianBecause it’s impossible for someone to do that.
I'm biracial (half black and half white) and was also adopted by an all white family. I was always taken care of and loved but I grew up extremely confused about my racial identity which isn't uncommon in my situation. The thing is that kid/child is different and they will experience things you've never had to even think about. They will have periods throughout their life where they will feel like they're family loves them because they're the acceptable kind of "black" and they will also, more than likely, have to be surrounded by racist family members/views. I know I did. I also feel like a part of my culture was taken from me because my family is all white and at the time decided it wasn't important enough and would make feel like an "outsider".
I couldn’t raise a child in an African American culture. It’s impossible.
Sounds like they raised you the best they could, as a person. A human being.
If you want to blame a lack of culture on someone blame it on the biological parents who failed you. Not the adoptive parents who’ve given you everything else.click to expand
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeDude your all over the place. Your the one sounding confused. Whatever. Have your platform.Posted by LadyNeptuneNo. They're forcedPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeI’m struggling to understand why someone putting on a dress is so threatening to you. Emasculating. Stfu. It’s comedy.Posted by LadyNeptuneI already did lawrence up above. Big momma house. In the redPosted by CaramelizedCoffeeTracey Morgan? Bill Cosby? Bernie Mac? Martin Lawrence? Steve Harvey?Posted by LadyNeptuneThey all wore dresses. Not sure about EddiePosted by CaramelizedCoffeeUmmm what?
That's why in Hollywood for a black comedian to make it they all have to wear dresses. Everyone. That's why Dave Chappelle quit. He was like I'm not going to wear a fuking dress.
Trying to feminize the black man is the white man's fetish
Not on Africa's watch
Fuk you with your agenda. And fuk offf
Chris Rock. Kevin Hart. Eddie freaking Murphy!
Look at you talking bout hollywood. Stick to shit you know.
Tyler Perry? Oh wait...
I can't vouch for every comedian but there's enough even Wayans brothers
Chris Tucker
"
Emasculating The Black Male: 15 Actors Who Wore a Dress For Success. Comedian Dave Chappelle explains the problem to talk show host Oprah Winfrey. Roles: Eddie Murphy is well-known for dressing up and physically transforming into his characters, especially women"
If someone wants to do it. Fine
But when you have to emasculate yourself to get a role
That's sick
Plus they want to normalize black men looking feminine to the audience
The white man's wish is to emasculate the black man
He first did that by stealing and raping his wife's and daughters in slavery in front of him
Then he took economic opportunity away by destroying any black business
Then he created welfare laws where the man can't be present to receive funding
Then brought drugs and weapons to the ghetto to weaken the black man and community further
Now it's psychological warfare.
Emasculated black men can't fight back. Will not shoot back. Will be meek.
It's the Devils tactic
But you know what's stronger than the white devil?
The silent and quiet Asians that are about to take his spot
In the meantime black ppl in America need to chill with listening to anything white man says and buying into his bs. Stay strong like your African brethren
Confused ppl don't spread your confusion
click to expand
I’ve checked out for the night. Good luck with doctrine preaching 👍
Posted by SupesTo be fair, I think you've posed some good questions and you seem at least somewhat open to examining this stuff. Might I suggest you check out White Nonsense Roundup on Facebook? They have a lot of good info and resources to help white people learn about and examine their whiteness. For me, its helped me expand my perspective and reduce my defensiveness around the topic a lot. And they are way more polite (less sassy) than I've been here.Posted by CHSI’m not good with analogies. If you can’t see where I’m coming from, I apologizePosted by SupesI don't think "human who is an engineer" is analogous to "human with wider perspective about other human experiences".Posted by kreolBut, that’s only so muchPosted by SupesYou're preparing them to deal with the harsh realities of the outside world which sees them as a person of colour first and foremost, and at the same time empowering them with a firm knowledge of where they come from. If you know who are and are aware of your roots, nobody can take that away from you and make you believe you're anything but equal to everyone else. Look it at this way, effectively you're building their self-esteem up in a world that was built to tear them down.Posted by kreolOk, I’m open minded to this obviously as I’m talking.Posted by SupesIt's not impossible. It's called research and a willingness to learn with the child and step out your comfort zone for the good of the childPosted by PlutonianBecause it’s impossible for someone to do that.
I'm biracial (half black and half white) and was also adopted by an all white family. I was always taken care of and loved but I grew up extremely confused about my racial identity which isn't uncommon in my situation. The thing is that kid/child is different and they will experience things you've never had to even think about. They will have periods throughout their life where they will feel like they're family loves them because they're the acceptable kind of "black" and they will also, more than likely, have to be surrounded by racist family members/views. I know I did. I also feel like a part of my culture was taken from me because my family is all white and at the time decided it wasn't important enough and would make feel like an "outsider".
I couldn’t raise a child in an African American culture. It’s impossible.
Sounds like they raised you the best they could, as a person. A human being.
Say I research, educate myself and all that. What comes next? Action wise? What would I do?
How would I actually TEACH it?
Book learning, enrolling in specific classes. Put yourself out there, socialise and participate in cultural exchanges in the form of community events, network and build relationship with members from the community.
Here's an example, I was looking for something else but found this, albeit biological not adopted
http://www.msnbc.com/melissa-harris-perry/how-my-white-mother-shaped-me-black
I can read, watch videos and all that stuff to learn how to be an engineer. If I’m not mechanically inclined, I’ll never “get it”.
That’s the point I’m making
Otherwise, the things you’ve provided is simply called, living.click to expand
Posted by TheRabbitAs someone who has adopted in the US from the US how or what is the process in the sense of being matched with the child you are adopting. Do you start off by saying I would prefer to adopt a white/black/Asian etc child? And you are them psycologically matched with a few children... meet them and then decide who you want to take home as your child? Just trying to understand the actual process. I mean it's not like you handed a folder with children's pictures and browse and pick one is it?
I have a friend who adopted 3 black children. From the system, not some private overseas adoption (human trafficking), and I see it as something pure.
Posted by LittleStarThank you for your answer and sharing your experience. That makes sense to me. It also makes me wonder what the process would then be if the child had no biological family who would be able to pick the right family for their child to be placed with?Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesAs someone who went through the process of placing my daughter for adoption, I had the “privilege” of looking at Shutterfly scrapbooks the parents made introducing their families. We then had phone conversations and met up to kind of feel each other out. I was going to place my half Korean child up for adoption specifically with an adopted Korean woman who had a biological half-white half-Korean son with her husband because I wanted her to at least have someone similar to her original situation and I would have placed her with them if I ultimately had chosen to do that.Posted by TheRabbitAs someone who has adopted in the US from the US how or what is the process in the sense of being matched with the child you are adopting. Do you start off by saying I would prefer to adopt a white/black/Asian etc child? And you are them psycologically matched with a few children... meet them and then decide who you want to take home as your child? Just trying to understand the actual process. I mean it's not like you handed a folder with children's pictures and browse and pick one is it?
I have a friend who adopted 3 black children. From the system, not some private overseas adoption (human trafficking), and I see it as something pure.
I ended up not being able to go through with it so I’m not sure what it would have been like past the initial stages.click to expand
Posted by AdreamuponwakingI get what you saying. But do you think white people don't experience hardship because of their race?Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesYes and no.Posted by TheRabbitAgreed. But other adoptive parents should not be shamed for their choice of where the child comes from if they are willing to give a child a loving home.
As an adoptive parent, I can tell you there are plenty of children in the US that need homes, so we don't need to be pillaging orphans from other countries.
I have mixed feelings but only because I have african americans friends who were adopted by white parents
and their level of self hatred is really sad.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't be able to adopt whoever they want.
Race is a social construct but we live in a world where it isn't treated as such
so when a black child tells their adopted white parent about xy and z happening to them ( things their parents will never have to experience because of their race)
it's near difficult to impossible really to bridge that gap...no matter how much that white parent loves that black child.
There also is this whole paternalistic undertone to the whole "interracial adoption" trend which i think is really what bothers CC the most.
click to expand
Don't take what I am saying out of context because the examples I am giving you are based on my own perception and feelings, just as much as a black person perceives and experience what they have to face in this world differently to what others do.
As a white person, Do you think it is nice for me to read how black people call us devils, how the "white man" is responsible for the fucked up world we live in? The white man caused this. The white man caused that? It's now 2018 a time in our civilization where we are all or rather should be referred to as Human Beings. (and i'm not naive to know this is not the case always.)
I was never brought up as a "racist" but up to the age of 13 lived in a racist country (South Africa abolished minority rule in 1994). So I can say I have personally seen it, I may not have experienced it in a way someone of color has, none the less I lived in that environment so seen the personal struggles people have faced, the injustices and so forth. Whilst I will never know how it makes someone of color feel, I know how it has made me feel as a person. A human being. Then and now.
Now more to the point and I am going to use Britain and list some countries as examples. Britain, because of my English heritage and Nigeria because my point will lead to culture and customs some fear white people cannot teach black children....
Slavery: European slave trading from West Africa began before 1650. 1740 the British were the primary European slave trafficker from this area. In 1807 the British enacted the Slave Trade Act, although this didn't abolish slavery in itself. This only happened with the Slavery Abolition Act of 1833. and up till most recently the modern slavery act in 2015... Instead of rambling on stats, you can see the entire time line here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_abolition_of_slavery_and_serfdom
Does any of the above make me feel entitled? Hell no. privileged? In what way exactly? Because I have a job... a house.. children... I'm not racially "attacked"? What if I told you I am racially offended, would it matter to anyone because I have white skin? Why should I have to face the daily perils of shame for what white people have done for centuries but in the same breath those centuries have been spent trying to fix these mistakes and injustices. Who are we to judge peoples perception of suffering and pain, without actually having to experience it.
Culture: The theme that seems to follow most peoples opinions and views is that white people cannot teach a black person about their culture. I will highlight some of the less savoury cultures and practises. and I use Nigeria because they seem to have most that still continue to this day, though of course some are practised in other countries within Africa.
* Forced marriage – Girls as young as 12 forced to marry a man who is sometimes as old as her father would be.
* Female Genital Mutilation – I mean we need to curb the woman’s libido. (Widely practices all over Africa, but especially Kenya and Tanzania.
Dongo – The practise of fighting other men in the hope a woman will choose him for her husband. - Ethiopia
* Circumcision rites – Boys who have to circumcise themselves with sharp blades or rocks most of the time during this long passage to becoming a man,
* Witch Hunts – You only have to google Gambia’s own president Yahya Jammey
* Modern day Slavery - Yep sad but true. We cringe at the past use of slavery and talk ourselves into feeling less guilty, but Men, Woman and Children, are tricked captured and forced into slavery often by people of their own “tribes” children under 12 in parts of Nigeria are forced to work because parents believe they will have better and more secure jobs in the future.
* Child-Selling - Yup thanks to poverty, parents often sell their children for money and get near nothing for them.
* Cannibalism – Yeah google Korowai people and it still happens today.
* Human Sacrifice - Google Sati people, the woman who burn themselves on their husbands pyre. Uganda, where wealthy people pay witch doctors money to sacrifice children because it brings wealth and good health – Again google Gladys Kyatungire
* Stoning – form of punishment. Still practised today and not just in Africa.
* Efidan tradition - Nutrition violence – Forcing a child to eat by closing their nose and forcing the child to swallow what they have just been given (normally watery food) by holding the child’s head between your legs.
* Blood vengeance - the practice of a family having to pay a death price for the action of another family member committed against their own or someone else’s family.
It is important to note that in the past decades the UN has made efforts to eradicate some of these practices related to female genital mutilation, child-birth, nutrition and marriage. But why? because the white man says that these are human rights abuses that relate to tradition or custom from Black Africans?
Racism and xenophobia, homophobia, caste discrimination, domestic violence, child marriage, witch hunting, patriarchy, corporal punishment, the death penalty, honor crimes, ritual killing, female genital mutilation, women subordination, and other practices that violate human rights standards.
Many African states are often in a dilemma as to how to combat these harmful traditional practices.
Some invoke ‘local culture or tradition’ to justify their inability to do so. What resolution will mainstream cultural relativism and prejudice into human rights discourse, creating a situation where people can justify certain human rights violations on the ground that they are in keeping with their ‘own’ culture or tradition. Particularly in Africa where human rights principles are often described as part of western culture, and a cultural imperialist tool that is alien to the continent.
So I ask would any black African parent NOT living in Africa still perform these traditions?
Or do I just choose to adopt a black baby and teach them. Hey I am white. You are black Your entire life will be hell because of the white man. Or do I adopt a baby and teach them. Hey you are human, and we don't distinguish between color and race. Because lets face it.... in anther two hundred years, the white man and the black man will still be having this exact same debate.
Apologies for the lengthy reply LOL. I got carried away. :-)
Oh and to add. I hate black people saying we are the minority. Er no you not.
Posted by LittleStarand yet no child should end up like that if there is a family who wants a childPosted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesProbably left to in some orphanage or program or foster home until they are 18Posted by LittleStarThank you for your answer and sharing your experience. That makes sense to me. It also makes me wonder what the process would then be if the child had no biological family who would be able to pick the right family for their child to be placed with?Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesAs someone who went through the process of placing my daughter for adoption, I had the “privilege” of looking at Shutterfly scrapbooks the parents made introducing their families. We then had phone conversations and met up to kind of feel each other out. I was going to place my half Korean child up for adoption specifically with an adopted Korean woman who had a biological half-white half-Korean son with her husband because I wanted her to at least have someone similar to her original situation and I would have placed her with them if I ultimately had chosen to do that.Posted by TheRabbitAs someone who has adopted in the US from the US how or what is the process in the sense of being matched with the child you are adopting. Do you start off by saying I would prefer to adopt a white/black/Asian etc child? And you are them psycologically matched with a few children... meet them and then decide who you want to take home as your child? Just trying to understand the actual process. I mean it's not like you handed a folder with children's pictures and browse and pick one is it?
I have a friend who adopted 3 black children. From the system, not some private overseas adoption (human trafficking), and I see it as something pure.
I ended up not being able to go through with it so I’m not sure what it would have been like past the initial stages.
click to expand
Posted by TheRabbitI thought it might be the case. And then the potential parents view these little faces. HUNDREDS of them. How do you choose one. How do you know which one will belong to you and why is it so wrong that as a prospective parent, you have to choose someone who is the same race as you are.Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesLOLPosted by TheRabbitAs someone who has adopted in the US from the US how or what is the process in the sense of being matched with the child you are adopting. Do you start off by saying I would prefer to adopt a white/black/Asian etc child? And you are them psycologically matched with a few children... meet them and then decide who you want to take home as your child? Just trying to understand the actual process. I mean it's not like you handed a folder with children's pictures and browse and pick one is it?
I have a friend who adopted 3 black children. From the system, not some private overseas adoption (human trafficking), and I see it as something pure.
That's almost exactly what happens when it's a state adoption.
Once you passed background checks and all the required foster and adoptive parent classes, you can start browsing the database.click to expand
It's just sad to think other races should not adopt because of some of the reasons that have been listed in this thread. Whilst they are very good points in no way do I deny that. But its a child. A human. Not a black kid, Indian kid, Chinese kid, White kid. What ever race this child will be. He will be your kid.
Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesThat chart in itself is racist.
Oh and to add. I hate black people saying we are the minority. Er no you not.
(Just going with the flow here)
Posted by xyinsaturnLOL of course it does. You just need to scroll through all the please help me to: posts
I wonder if dxp affects people's relationship in real life.
:-) :-)
Why does my Aries do this.
Help me understand my Cap
blah blah blah
Posted by LittleStarumm. Ancient Rome. The vikings... It's there trust me.Posted by SupesName whites that have had systems in place to discriminate against them as a whole through out the past 300 years.Posted by LittleStarYou said you can’t be racist AGAINST whites.Posted by SupesYou can be discriminated against, but that is different from racism.Posted by LittleStarHold the boat.Posted by SupesYou can’t be racist against whites.Posted by LittleStarThat’s one of the most racist things I’ve ever read.Posted by SupesDude the kid didn’t make the choice to not have their bio parents and they didn’t make the choice to be adopted. It is literally something forced upon them by a system or people.
And what I think is the most hypocritical thing on this post is that another black child is taken off the streets, educated, fed, loved, wants for nothing and someone still ain’t happy!
It’s like “fuck the child of color” look at this white devil raising him!
If the world cared more about solving the problems that cause children to need to be adopted on a large scale and focused less on how nice is it to adopt for whatever self centered reason i.e. can’t have kids and desperately need one, want to save a kid, etc for their own personal gain then there wouldn’t be as many kids out there without parents. Focusing on disease control, war, and allowing bio parents support and lack of prejudiced systems is the best solution.
The only real necessary reason for adoption is if the bio parents are total shits and need to be out of the picture. Every adoption is making the best of an utter tragedy.
And if whites hadn’t ravaged most of the world a lot of adoptions would have been prevented because their cultures wouldn’t have been disrupted. Obviously there are shit rules that are out of our hands like China’s past, but if those things get addressed like I said, it would prevent the need for this disconnect in the first place.
So, if someone chooses to adopt it’s considered self centered and for personal gain?
And how on gods green earth are whites responsible for the amount of children up for adoption?
Most people only choose to adopt either for the fact they can’t have their own or they want to get some kind of satisfaction/emotional reward for doing something nice. There are few that do it without those things present.
And whites have started wars, colonized countries and then left them in shambles which caused more issues, they started widespread slavery in many countries and spread diseases which wiped out whole populations. Those things still happened locally on a global scale. But those in power who happened to be white created most of it. From the 1700/1800s on.
Are you saying that I can’t be offended or wronged if I’m discriminated against because of my skin tone?
Because if that’s what you’re saying, you’re absolutely wrong.
Be offended away. It’s your right.
It’s goes hand in hand from a (non white) mouth
click to expand
Posted by LittleStarWhat is your solution. That all races go back to their prospective countries and live out their lives and future generations never leave said countries? Leave all the whits to fuck up their own shit. Leave all Indians to fuck up their own shit. Leave all blacks to fuck up their own shit and so on and so onPosted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesNah. I don’t see how Ancient Rome or Vikings were oppressed. They did oppressing and waged war. But they haven’t been victims of a large scale oppression.Posted by LittleStarumm. Ancient Rome. The vikings... It's there trust me.Posted by SupesName whites that have had systems in place to discriminate against them as a whole through out the past 300 years.Posted by LittleStarYou said you can’t be racist AGAINST whites.Posted by SupesYou can be discriminated against, but that is different from racism.Posted by LittleStarHold the boat.Posted by SupesYou can’t be racist against whites.Posted by LittleStarThat’s one of the most racist things I’ve ever read.Posted by SupesDude the kid didn’t make the choice to not have their bio parents and they didn’t make the choice to be adopted. It is literally something forced upon them by a system or people.
And what I think is the most hypocritical thing on this post is that another black child is taken off the streets, educated, fed, loved, wants for nothing and someone still ain’t happy!
It’s like “fuck the child of color” look at this white devil raising him!
If the world cared more about solving the problems that cause children to need to be adopted on a large scale and focused less on how nice is it to adopt for whatever self centered reason i.e. can’t have kids and desperately need one, want to save a kid, etc for their own personal gain then there wouldn’t be as many kids out there without parents. Focusing on disease control, war, and allowing bio parents support and lack of prejudiced systems is the best solution.
The only real necessary reason for adoption is if the bio parents are total shits and need to be out of the picture. Every adoption is making the best of an utter tragedy.
And if whites hadn’t ravaged most of the world a lot of adoptions would have been prevented because their cultures wouldn’t have been disrupted. Obviously there are shit rules that are out of our hands like China’s past, but if those things get addressed like I said, it would prevent the need for this disconnect in the first place.
So, if someone chooses to adopt it’s considered self centered and for personal gain?
And how on gods green earth are whites responsible for the amount of children up for adoption?
Most people only choose to adopt either for the fact they can’t have their own or they want to get some kind of satisfaction/emotional reward for doing something nice. There are few that do it without those things present.
And whites have started wars, colonized countries and then left them in shambles which caused more issues, they started widespread slavery in many countries and spread diseases which wiped out whole populations. Those things still happened locally on a global scale. But those in power who happened to be white created most of it. From the 1700/1800s on.
Are you saying that I can’t be offended or wronged if I’m discriminated against because of my skin tone?
Because if that’s what you’re saying, you’re absolutely wrong.
Be offended away. It’s your right.
It’s goes hand in hand from a (non white) mouth
click to expand
or is it our attitude towards people and moving forward the solution. Do you think there will not be any oppression at all if we were all one color?
Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesSome white people experience hardship because of class , gender presentation and or sexuality not because of their race.Posted by AdreamuponwakingI get what you saying. But do you think white people don't experience hardship because of their race?Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesYes and no.Posted by TheRabbitAgreed. But other adoptive parents should not be shamed for their choice of where the child comes from if they are willing to give a child a loving home.
As an adoptive parent, I can tell you there are plenty of children in the US that need homes, so we don't need to be pillaging orphans from other countries.
I have mixed feelings but only because I have african americans friends who were adopted by white parents
and their level of self hatred is really sad.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't be able to adopt whoever they want.
Race is a social construct but we live in a world where it isn't treated as such
so when a black child tells their adopted white parent about xy and z happening to them ( things their parents will never have to experience because of their race)
it's near difficult to impossible really to bridge that gap...no matter how much that white parent loves that black child.
There also is this whole paternalistic undertone to the whole "interracial adoption" trend which i think is really what bothers CC the most.
As a white person, Do you think it is nice for me to read how black people call us devils, how the "white man" is responsible for the fucked up world we live in? The white man caused this. The white man caused that? It's now 2018 a time in our civilization where we are all or rather should be referred to as Human Beings. (and i'm not naive to know this is not the case always.)
Whilst I will never know how it makes someone of color feel, I know how it has made me feel as a person. A human being. Then and now.
click to expand
Whiteness is a legal definition created within the last two centuries for legal-political reasons.
It is an important denotation of political power and social access which as you know is tied to economic opportunity.
And because all of the above....any form of discrimination let's say a queer white trans person from a lower socioeconomic class may feel won't be the same as a cis black person..by very definition.
Not that i'm trying to say what's worst ..I'm saying you can not posit an equivalence.
That's why the concept Intersectionality ( coined by Kimberlè Crenshaw) is so important when we talk about the experience of historically disenfranchised groups.
We have different experiences which require different understanding and a tailored approach in addressing issues that affect specific populations.
All populations deserve that.
You can't just put it under the umbrella of diversity or even worse what you previously conjectured...the experience of being human.
Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesI think for the people who are in the "I don't think white people should adopt black children " campPosted by AdreamuponwakingI get what you saying. But do you think white people don't experience hardship because of their race?Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesYes and no.Posted by TheRabbitAgreed. But other adoptive parents should not be shamed for their choice of where the child comes from if they are willing to give a child a loving home.
As an adoptive parent, I can tell you there are plenty of children in the US that need homes, so we don't need to be pillaging orphans from other countries.
I have mixed feelings but only because I have african americans friends who were adopted by white parents
and their level of self hatred is really sad.
I'm not saying that people shouldn't be able to adopt whoever they want.
Race is a social construct but we live in a world where it isn't treated as such
so when a black child tells their adopted white parent about xy and z happening to them ( things their parents will never have to experience because of their race)
it's near difficult to impossible really to bridge that gap...no matter how much that white parent loves that black child.
There also is this whole paternalistic undertone to the whole "interracial adoption" trend which i think is really what bothers CC the most.
Don't take what I am saying out of context because the examples I am giving you are based on my own perception and feelings, just as much as a black person perceives and experience what they have to face in this world differently to what others do.
As a white person, Do you think it is nice for me to read how black people call us devils, how the "white man" is responsible for the fucked up world we live in? The white man caused this. The white man caused that? It's now 2018 a time in our civilization where we are all or rather should be referred to as Human Beings. (and i'm not naive to know this is not the case always.)
I was never brought up as a "racist" but up to the age of 13 lived in a racist country (South Africa abolished minority rule in 1994). So I can say I have personally seen it, I may not have experienced it in a way someone of color has, none the less I lived in that environment so seen the personal struggles people have faced, the injustices and so forth. Whilst I will never know how it makes someone of color feel, I know how it has made me feel as a person. A human being. Then and now.
Now more to the point and I am going to use Britain and list some countries as examples. Britain, because of my English heritage and Nigeria because my point will lead to culture and customs some fear white people cannot teach black children....
Slavery: European slave trading from West Africa began before 1650. 1740 the British were the primary European slave trafficker from this area. In 1807 the British enacted the Slave Trade Act, although this didn't abolish slavery in itself. This only happened with the Slavery Abolition Act of 1833. and up till most recently the modern slavery act in 2015... Instead of rambling on stats, you can see the entire time line here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_abolition_of_slavery_and_serfdom
Does any of the above make me feel entitled? Hell no. privileged? In what way exactly? Because I have a job... a house.. children... I'm not racially "attacked"? What if I told you I am racially offended, would it matter to anyone because I have white skin? Why should I have to face the daily perils of shame for what white people have done for centuries but in the same breath those centuries have been spent trying to fix these mistakes and injustices. Who are we to judge peoples perception of suffering and pain, without actually having to experience it.
Culture: The theme that seems to follow most peoples opinions and views is that white people cannot teach a black person about their culture. I will highlight some of the less savoury cultures and practises. and I use Nigeria because they seem to have most that still continue to this day, though of course some are practised in other countries within Africa.
* Forced marriage – Girls as young as 12 forced to marry a man who is sometimes as old as her father would be.
* Female Genital Mutilation – I mean we need to curb the woman’s libido. (Widely practices all over Africa, but especially Kenya and Tanzania.
Dongo – The practise of fighting other men in the hope a woman will choose him for her husband. - Ethiopia
* Circumcision rites – Boys who have to circumcise themselves with sharp blades or rocks most of the time during this long passage to becoming a man,
* Witch Hunts – You only have to google Gambia’s own president Yahya Jammey
* Modern day Slavery - Yep sad but true. We cringe at the past use of slavery and talk ourselves into feeling less guilty, but Men, Woman and Children, are tricked captured and forced into slavery often by people of their own “tribes” children under 12 in parts of Nigeria are forced to work because parents believe they will have better and more secure jobs in the future.
* Child-Selling - Yup thanks to poverty, parents often sell their children for money and get near nothing for them.
* Cannibalism – Yeah google Korowai people and it still happens today.
* Human Sacrifice - Google Sati people, the woman who burn themselves on their husbands pyre. Uganda, where wealthy people pay witch doctors money to sacrifice children because it brings wealth and good health – Again google Gladys Kyatungire
* Stoning – form of punishment. Still practised today and not just in Africa.
* Efidan tradition - Nutrition violence – Forcing a child to eat by closing their nose and forcing the child to swallow what they have just been given (normally watery food) by holding the child’s head between your legs.
* Blood vengeance - the practice of a family having to pay a death price for the action of another family member committed against their own or someone else’s family.
It is important to note that in the past decades the UN has made efforts to eradicate some of these practices related to female genital mutilation, child-birth, nutrition and marriage. But why? because the white man says that these are human rights abuses that relate to tradition or custom from Black Africans?
Racism and xenophobia, homophobia, caste discrimination, domestic violence, child marriage, witch hunting, patriarchy, corporal punishment, the death penalty, honor crimes, ritual killing, female genital mutilation, women subordination, and other practices that violate human rights standards.
Many African states are often in a dilemma as to how to combat these harmful traditional practices.
Some invoke ‘local culture or tradition’ to justify their inability to do so. What resolution will mainstream cultural relativism and prejudice into human rights discourse, creating a situation where people can justify certain human rights violations on the ground that they are in keeping with their ‘own’ culture or tradition. Particularly in Africa where human rights principles are often described as part of western culture, and a cultural imperialist tool that is alien to the continent.
So I ask would any black African parent NOT living in Africa still perform these traditions?
Or do I just choose to adopt a black baby and teach them. Hey I am white. You are black Your entire life will be hell because of the white man. Or do I adopt a baby and teach them. Hey you are human, and we don't distinguish between color and race. Because lets face it.... in anther two hundred years, the white man and the black man will still be having this exact same debate.
Apologies for the lengthy reply LOL. I got carried away. :-)
click to expand
everything what you said above in your previous response is what actually makes them against this.
The things you assume are things that a lot of well intention white people assume when they adopt black children and furthermore these assumptions are what aid in the subsequent lack of adequate preparation in dealing with issues related to race which leads to harm.
Their black child will inevitably be harmed even more so when they inevitably get their first taste of inequitable treatment by other white family members and or society at large.
That being said there are some but few white people who take black studies classes in college ( e.g- African American literature , multicultral poltical science classes , sociology courses that are race specific) that would help prepare them to be better allies if they ever adopted a black child...but the majority don't.
Some may read a couple of books after adopting a kid...but that's not the same as taking these classes
and or best of all having lived that experience as well as being educated about it in a classroom setting.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Which DXP member would you fuck?
Why?
I'm bored.
Entertain me peasants 😂😂
Naaaaah, I'm really bored though.
You just won the award coz people like you for successfully shutting up DJ. Kudos on that but on topic, you are not a troll. Not even a shit-stirrer. A shit-stirrer is someone like CC. You are a shit-shut-upper, not a shit-stirrer. Not a troll.
People
I'm sad right now. Nobody's gonna be as honest and blunt as P-Angel was on here.
I will miss her frankness.
She gave me a reality check and I will forever be grateful.
Rest in Peace, P-Angel.
:(
My Gem moon is overwhelmed picking out vibes, I could go in any of these directions... Opinions?
Dark Grey and moody
1) https://postimg.org/image/6a9f8xin9/
2) https://postimg.org/image/m8i4z3fg5/
Light and Natural
3) https://postimg.org/im
Anyone on this site highly sensitive?
Anyone here just give up on talking?
So much I want to say but it cant come out anymore.
so many people say ‘be humble’
but how do you go about having this trait?
I’m not talking about false humbility but about those who have truly reached the highest of human potentials and walk in humility and wisdom.
How does one reach this phase?
What do you do?
...and shit on it?!
@_@
bunnywritings.blogspot.com
tell me what you think
:)
Anybody done it? Were your results what you expected? Were you impressed or disappointed?
I have met Usexpats recently. Guys youre living in a country that Arctic climates, tropic jungle, desert, glamorous citys, caribbean beaches, and more. You could spend a livetime taking holidays in your own country. I am not saying dont live abroad, j
WTF does it mean?
Man avoiding sex with a woman who whowing him affection and he is touching, kissing her and ‘almost’ dating her because he is afraid of his feelings—
How does it go?
I really like her...oy!...but I’m afraid.
What are you afraid of
Game will start on the evening of January 15th.
I need a total of at least 20 players for this game.
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
11)
12)
13)
14)
15)
16)
17)
18)
19)
20)
I will post a game overview in this thread for any ques
Come now, give me all you have got and give me your best (even if you would never use them). XD (6)
@hydorah
To your cancer thread.
If there was a cure for baldness - who do you think would have the best hair ever? Right! Donald!
What I am saying is everyone wasting money on those fake fuckers who promising but if it was possible - would Trump
which one?
so about the youtube dude that posted a dead body on YouTube from the Japanese suicide forest.
It was all over the news and Society has shamed him for this.
But why do "we" deem this as wrong... is it that we have such a hard time facing death and
Currently a redhead, but perhaps a bit tired of my waist length hair.
It feels like the entire face is hidden under a curtain of hair.
Change is in the air for 2018, so a trim or a new look ?
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DH77SjxXkAQ_7tf.jpg
http:/
Even stuff that happened a decade or so ago which has nothing to do with you whatsoever? Or stuff you'd rather not know?
I can’t see this being an issue in my city. Kids go to school with kids with two moms or two dads, kids every color of the rainbow, etc etc. If your exposed to all different examples of family you don’t think yours is that unconventional after all.