I think my lipstick and body language screams I want to hook up. But I dont.

Ok so my favorite shade of lip stick is a deep plum and if I wear it on the date I notice the guy cant stop starring at my lips and they always say you are so sexy and no I am not on here to brag I a genuinely annoyed because I am naturally a laid back person so if I am at a bar 9 times out of 10 I am leaning on it and my hand is on my hip. I had a guy (Pisces) tell me last night that my body language screamed that I wanted to sleep with him and I am not even attracted to him I we only met up to discuss Astrology actually because he is just learning this stuff and I was explaining some things, but I told him it would just be a friendly visit. He had only had one drink so I knew he wasn't drunk but the first 30 mins I am there he is rubbing on me the 3rd time he did it I slapped his hand and he was embarrassed and was like did you just swat my hand away and I was like hell yeah you keep touching me! But this is not the first occasion someone has been mesmerized by my lip color. I had a guy I was dating tell me you lipstick makes me want head which turnt me off because I wasn't sure of his intentions of course now I know, but damn I shouldn't have to change my lipstick because guys are shitty!! Plus the guys I keep meeting are broken in someway. Why are they finding me!

Best advice is to wear a burqa.

Posted by Palerio
Best advice is to wear a burqa.

LMAO I should. That would be an interesting social experiment.

Posted by Nemilicious
try a different lipstick?

But its my favorite 😢

Posted by WhiteChocolate
What is the name of the shade of lipstick?

Is it "DSL"?

If so, that might be your issue

LOL NO! you dick.

Posted by Koniucha
Well my body language screams stay away. Maybe we can share lol

Same here I have been told I don't seem approachable. I'm really laid back,I just don't really care to engage with people.

Posted by Nemilicious
why? what does DSL mean?

Dick sucking lips. I only know that because I was complaining to my guy friend about it before I came on here and he said maybe it screams DSL Lol

Posted by Vixen2
just be thankful the opposite sex is attracted to you...
I mean think of how you would feel if there was something about you that repelled men...
It could be worse. I'm not saying it can't be annoying at times I'm sure...but youre complaining about your life path and the human experience in general...it's just easier to accept things and try to work or change the things that you can...

I get that and I am grateful but the downside is not being taken seriously.

Posted by Gobshite
You're not all that...

I didn't say I was darling.

Posted by WhiteChocolate

Posted by Vixen2
just be thankful the opposite sex is attracted to you...
I mean think of how you would feel if there was something about you that repelled men...
It could be worse. I'm not saying it can't be annoying at times I'm sure...but youre complaining about your life path and the human experience in general...it's just easier to accept things and try to work or change the things that you can...

It must be tough being a hottie •

click to expand

When you want someone to take you serious and not look at you as a sex object.

Posted by Finbuff

Posted by Gobshite
You're acting like some victim when, in actual fact, it's thinly-veiled bragging.

Yes - but so what, it's what people do around here. Remember DJ, that's all it was every day.

click to expand

DJ was fun though. All that macho bragging. heehee. 😄 😄

i believe he just did it for fun and not to hurt anyone.

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by Gobshite
You're not all that...

I didn't say I was darling.

Based on your opening post, that's the impression you're giving by shifting the fault onto others.

You're a woman. It's normal for men to hit on you. Big deal!

click to expand

There is a difference between simply hitting on someone and then down right trying to stick your hand down their pants. Especially if your supposed to be getting to know someone. You wouldn't be annoyed if you started talking to someone and thinking they are intelligent and interesting and then you meet up with them and they are trying to fuck you the first 30 mins of meeting? That makes a lot of assumptions to me and I don't like people assuming anything about me. There are many layers to me and it is disrespectful to purposely look past that and sexualize me.

Posted by Gobshite
You're acting like some victim when, in actual fact, it's thinly-veiled bragging.

Sounds like you have nothing interesting to say about how to redirect the situation when it happens. So every other post you make in here is now irrelevant. I am not bragging about anything, but you seem to be butt hurt about something so I will just let you sit on your swollen cheeks.

Posted by Jenna77
Which shade/brand?

Finally!

I was, like, how am I on page 3 and still OP is not giving out the name and brand of the lipstick/no one had asked.

Seriously. 😛

Posted by juliette

Posted by Jenna77
Which shade/brand?

yeah, and please do share 😄

click to expand

Ill send a picture

Posted by juliette

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by Nemilicious
why? what does DSL mean?

Dick sucking lips. I only know that because I was complaining to my guy friend about it before I came on here and he said maybe it screams DSL Lol

For God's sake, you're a black woman. The chances of your lips being full and voluptuous are extremely high. No lipstick shade will change that.

Learn to accept yourself and stop being a drama queen. If you want to look less sexy, then I suggest you tone down your personal appearance.

Oh, I get it... you're a woman and should be free to express yourself how you want. Well, I'm afraid that's in an ideal world - in the real world, you can't have your cake and eat it, regardless of how unfair it may seem.

i've toned down my appearance and i've being hitting by nasty lesbians. what should i do? 😢

click to expand

Try nasty lesbians out.

Posted by PotHeadVirgo25
You can't judge someone's intentions or whether or not they take you serious because they like your lips or lipstick color. Especially if you're both some kind of intoxicated at a bar. You have to have sober serious conversations. Nonetheless the touching was higher on the disrespect meter, so he was out of line for that. However, I can't say if an attractive woman touched my erectile function while I'm buzzed or drunk that I would reject her invitation. Probably not.


Probably.

I wasn't drinking at all and he had 2 beers all night though. But I see what you are saying

Posted by juliette

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by Nemilicious
why? what does DSL mean?

Dick sucking lips. I only know that because I was complaining to my guy friend about it before I came on here and he said maybe it screams DSL Lol

For God's sake, you're a black woman. The chances of your lips being full and voluptuous are extremely high. No lipstick shade will change that.

Learn to accept yourself and stop being a drama queen. If you want to look less sexy, then I suggest you tone down your personal appearance.

Oh, I get it... you're a woman and should be free to express yourself how you want. Well, I'm afraid that's in an ideal world - in the real world, you can't have your cake and eat it, regardless of how unfair it may seem.

i've toned down my appearance and i've being hitting by nasty lesbians. what should i do? 😢

click to expand

😆

i wear really dark dark lipstick. when i go out with my man (not all the time, but sometimes yes)

i love the super dark shades. kind of like this:

=.="

First World problems.

Posted by ladylibra21
Ok so my favorite shade of lip stick is a deep plum and if I wear it on the date I notice the guy cant stop starring at my lips and they always say you are so sexy and no I am not on here to brag I a genuinely annoyed because I am naturally a laid back person so if I am at a bar 9 times out of 10 I am leaning on it and my hand is on my hip. I had a guy (Pisces) tell me last night that my body language screamed that I wanted to sleep with him and I am not even attracted to him I we only met up to discuss Astrology actually because he is just learning this stuff and I was explaining some things, but I told him it would just be a friendly visit. He had only had one drink so I knew he wasn't drunk but the first 30 mins I am there he is rubbing on me the 3rd time he did it I slapped his hand and he was embarrassed and was like did you just swat my hand away and I was like hell yeah you keep touching me! But this is not the first occasion someone has been mesmerized by my lip color. I had a guy I was dating tell me you lipstick makes me want head which turnt me off because I wasn't sure of his intentions of course now I know, but damn I shouldn't have to change my lipstick because guys are shitty!! Plus the guys I keep meeting are broken in someway. Why are they finding me!

deep plum is my sister's favourite. lol

is she with a damaged man? um, they are doing very well and happy together. No damage there.

are you doing this as a social experiment as to who you will attract??

once they see through your lipstick, and find out your personality and upbringing, background, quirks, who you are as a person, i dont think lipstick matters anymore.

Posted by Gobshite

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by PotHeadVirgo25
You can't judge someone's intentions or whether or not they take you serious because they like your lips or lipstick color. Especially if you're both some kind of intoxicated at a bar. You have to have sober serious conversations. Nonetheless the touching was higher on the disrespect meter, so he was out of line for that. However, I can't say if an attractive woman touched my erectile function while I'm buzzed or drunk that I would reject her invitation. Probably not.


Probably.

I wasn't drinking at all and he had 2 beers all night though. But I see what you are saying

In social situations, where alcohol is available, there's always going to be a risk.

Where were you when other women quickly cottoned onto that?

click to expand

lol 😆

alcohol and loneliness.

the two is a dangerous mix 😆

Posted by WhiteChocolate

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by WhiteChocolate

Posted by Vixen2
just be thankful the opposite sex is attracted to you...
I mean think of how you would feel if there was something about you that repelled men...
It could be worse. I'm not saying it can't be annoying at times I'm sure...but youre complaining about your life path and the human experience in general...it's just easier to accept things and try to work or change the things that you can...

It must be tough being a hottie •

When you want someone to take you serious and not look at you as a sex object.

I know what you mean. I'm like "I have thoughts and feelings" but people just see me as a pan of hot, cheesy, bubbly enchiladas.

click to expand

mmmmmhh yummmm enchiladaaaaassss *nom nom nom*

what color/brand? i want some! 😄

It is Ruby Kisses Cream-a-li-cious Triple butter matte cream it has mago, shae and coco butter in it

the darkest one in the middle

Posted by WhiteChocolate
Do when Rom would post pics of her lips and nothing else, she was just being a tease.

nostrils!

Women cannot be this obtuse! #OwnYourActions

Posted by LillyPetal

Women cannot be this obtuse! #OwnYourActions

What are you trying to say?

I loooove dark burgundy and plum colored lipsticks!!!

OP wear what you want confidently, if someone bothers you, just walk away.

This thread reminds me, I need to make a stop at Sephora to check out what's new.

Damn I wish I had that kind of sex appeal!

I think sometimes people just have that energy...don't try to change it. People approach me a lot because I am happy, but never because I am alluring or sexy. I would just own it and continue to deflect as needed. Be flattered. Some of us have to work hard for that kind of sex appeal, and even then it's probably obvious it isn't authentic.

@SensitiveBlues From the left I have the first 2 but my favorite is number 6 from the left. I got mine at a random hair store I see they are on ebay though.

Posted by ashley1734
Damn I wish I had that kind of sex appeal!

I think sometimes people just have that energy...don't try to change it. People approach me a lot because I am happy, but never because I am alluring or sexy. I would just own it and continue to deflect as needed. Be flattered. Some of us have to work hard for that kind of sex appeal, and even then it's probably obvious it isn't authentic.

You look alluring a sexy to me girl! I'm sure plenty of people think so! 😉

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by ashley1734
Damn I wish I had that kind of sex appeal!

I think sometimes people just have that energy...don't try to change it. People approach me a lot because I am happy, but never because I am alluring or sexy. I would just own it and continue to deflect as needed. Be flattered. Some of us have to work hard for that kind of sex appeal, and even then it's probably obvious it isn't authentic.

You look alluring a sexy to me girl! I'm sure plenty of people think so! 😉

click to expand

Haha thanks but that's just a picture. My energy in person is either "cute" or very serious. I can make bedroom eyes all day, but there is nothing behind it. 😄

I was gonna suggest a different lip color for you but then I looked at your picture more and a deep purple/plum totally suits you! Too bad, you just have to carry on being sexy!

Posted by ashley1734
Damn I wish I had that kind of sex appeal!

I think sometimes people just have that energy...don't try to change it. People approach me a lot because I am happy, but never because I am alluring or sexy. I would just own it and continue to deflect as needed. Be flattered. Some of us have to work hard for that kind of sex appeal, and even then it's probably obvious it isn't authentic.

Hi beautiful,

Question,

Do you own a mirror? You Do have it.. 🙂

Posted by Finbuff

Posted by NostalgicCappy

Posted by ashley1734
Damn I wish I had that kind of sex appeal!

I think sometimes people just have that energy...don't try to change it. People approach me a lot because I am happy, but never because I am alluring or sexy. I would just own it and continue to deflect as needed. Be flattered. Some of us have to work hard for that kind of sex appeal, and even then it's probably obvious it isn't authentic.

Hi beautiful,

Question,

Do you own a mirror? You Do have it.. 🙂

Yes. No need for lack of confidence - get some.

click to expand

Haha no I'm totally confident, no worries at all in that department. But you know what I mean...you can still be attractive but not oozing with sex appeal. Anyway my whole point was just to compliment the OP and make her own it since it comes naturally to her. :0

My go-to is MAC's Hang Up 🙂

I made a thread like this ages ago in regard to unwanted male attention and why these guys seem to think behaving like this is okay. Is it the vibe you give off? The makeup you wear? The clothes you wear?

Who knows with some guys. There are so many socially and emotionally retarded guys out there, it can be hard to pinpoint.

I've been told I've been intimidating because I'm not afraid to speak my mind and I can easily fall in line with guys when it comes to talking to them because I am able to talk like one of them.

Unfortunately, this seems to give some dickheads the idea that I'm dtf like whoa.

It's annoying and depressing when guys treat you like that because you can't help but wonder, "what the hell?"

lol @ all the dismissive people in this thread. Thanks for adding to the problem of objectifying women and treating them like objects to conquer. No, this is not natural nor is it "the way things are." All of this is pure socialization that many of you seem to miss because you, yourself, has been raised in this mindset and just think this is how it's supposed to be.

Sure, there's all the sexuality and attraction between the genders. But how one carries oneself with these behaviors speaks volumes. We have too many tacky ass guys out there who are incredibly disrespectful to those around them, especially women.

No, a woman shouldn't have to change her looks, clothing, etc. to deter negative male attraction. THEY should be held accountable for their own actions, not the woman.

OP, the best thing you can do is just tell these fools to fuck off and don't bother with them. ...also stop fucking meeting at bars. Jesus. Bars and clubs = fuck central in a guy's mind. If you're meeting up for a casual "get to know" bit, meet at a coffee shop or someplace more neutral than typical fuck spots.

Posted by Arielle83
I wear paw paw.

I hate lipstick.

I hate makeup. I don't have time for that shit haha.

Special occasions or if I feel like some mascara for shits n giggles, sure. But seriously, I don't have time for that. I just wanna get ready and go.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Arielle83
I wear paw paw.

I hate lipstick.

I hate makeup. I don't have time for that shit haha.

Special occasions or if I feel like some mascara for shits n giggles, sure. But seriously, I don't have time for that. I just wanna get ready and go.

That's the Aries. My rising let's me get ready in 30 min!

click to expand

Right? Eff that shit. haha.

@Koiala you didn't derail this thread, that is exactly what my point was. Why should women be made to feel this way? I am sorry this happened to you reading it make me want to get better practice on my self defensive tactics!

Posted by Vixen2
So whole thread is retarded. You want attention..all women do, it's in our DNA, in the animal kingdom lionesses prance around wafting their scent in the air, monkeys groom their ideal mates...it is what it is. You may not think you want that attention but subconcious you do and if you didnt...you would be so repelled by the unwanted attention 1. You wouldn't be on here garnishing more attention 2. You would happily stop wearing that shade and wouldn't think twice from it 3. You would reflect on YOUR potential behavior or actions by questioning what is it about you or that you do to attract this kind of attention...

I'm not saying you don't get this attention, but alas ...we are only hearing part of the story. Men don't usually do that type of ish if you haven't given them some kind of greenlight...no one wants to be flat out turned down in a club embarrassed in front of their friends...

And if you aren't being taken seriously because of "your looks" then you might want to take a long hard look at what your personality and vibe is putting out, because there are gazillions of drop dead gorgeous nurses, ceo's, financial advisors etc that are crushing shit....and being taken damn seriously...

just saying...

You are part of the problem my dear. Obviously you didn't read what happened and you come on here thinking you know how I feel so I am not going to re explain myself. I said how I felt and you can believe me or not. Would you stop eating cake if people told you that you look fat? Why should you have to stop eating cake? I know that I did nothing to lead this guy on we literally met up to discuss astrology because he said he had started looking into it and wanted to know more about himself he had a pen and pad and everything. I have never talked dirty to this guy joked with him in that manner nothing. So most of you are on here acting like I was giving the guy fuck me faces when in reality I sat pretty far apart from him and he felt the need to come into my space and touch me. You are just as bad as those people who tell women who are raped that they asked for it. The fact of the matter is that guy had known me for less than a day. it might have been different if he knew me like that and I had gave him the so called green light to touch me but I didn't and I pulled away every time he tried inching closer to me. Your acceptance of this behavior is part of the problem.

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by Vixen2
..

You are part of the problem my dear. Obviously you didn't read what happened and you come on here thinking you know how I feel so I am not going to re explain myself. I said how I felt and you can believe me or not. Would you stop eating cake if people told you that you look fat? Why should you have to stop eating cake? I know that I did nothing to lead this guy on we literally met up to discuss astrology because he said he had started looking into it and wanted to know more about himself he had a pen and pad and everything. I have never talked dirty to this guy joked with him in that manner nothing. So most of you are on here acting like I was giving the guy fuck me faces when in reality I sat pretty far apart from him and he felt the need to come into my space and touch me. You are just as bad as those people who tell women who are raped that they asked for it. The fact of the matter is that guy had known me for less than a day. it might have been different if he knew me like that and I had gave him the so called green light to touch me but I didn't and I pulled away every time he tried inching closer to me. Your acceptance of this behavior is part of the problem.

click to expand

I get your main point, but I don't think the thing with the cake is a good analogy. If someone tells me I'm fat and should stop eating cake, hell no I won't quit cake. I love cake. I'll eat however much I want too. But I'm not then going to go on here and complain about the people who're telling me I'm fat because I love eating cake. I'll just shove some cake into their faces irl to shut them up.

I think what Vixen2 and some others are saying is, if you don't like the reaction you're getting towards something you love doing or wearing, then change it. You can't change or control people's reaction or behaviour towards you. Similarly, you have every right to keep doing/wearing what you want. But you can change other things to minimise or control the situation somewhat. A poster above suggested instead of meeting these men at bars/night clubs, meet them at cafes during the day.

Posted by Vixen2
I'm sorry...
But...I know how men work and about human nature. Now if I know dude and I've been out with him and his friends to a bar before but he usually pays me no attention and yet....this time he wants to meet in a bar by ourselves...for whatever reason (he could say astrology, vasectomies, girlfriends etc...) alarm bells should of rang in your head . That's out of the norm right—

I might of declined and offered to speak with him on the phone about his astrological questions...since, ya know...youre used to getting all this unwanted attention. Also, it may appear that with a meet up with just the two of you would seem kind of...oh, I don't know...intimate, I may have also thought about that considering you might not want to give him the idea that by entertaining him you are remotely interested....

The fact is his ploy won. He got you out to hit on you...his game got you. If you don't want this kind of attention...get your game up. Because you can't change it, it's human nature and mothers and societies have been trying to raise up their children better...but it's nature vs. nuture along with societal issues. People watch videos where women are objectified and porn and think that women are really like that and want that...they have twisted views, but all we can do as women is be smarter because you can't change a damn thing about it. It's a shame but it is what it is.

Once again you didn't read the whole story. This was my first time meeting this guy I had literally known him for half a day. And you must not have any guy friends if you assume that all guy and girl interactions must lead to something romantic. I didn't know it was a crime for 2 intellectually people to meet up and discuss something they are both interested in. Excuse me for discussing knowledge I'll remind myself next time that I have a vagina and I must not sit at the table with me and discuss the possibilities of life because I am too frail. Maybe I should just bring a male escort next time and have him call me mi lady.

Posted by letterbox10


I get your main point, but I don't think the thing with the cake is a good analogy. If someone tells me I'm fat and should stop eating cake, hell no I won't quit cake. I love cake. I'll eat however much I want too. But I'm not then going to go on here and complain about the people who're telling me I'm fat because I love eating cake. I'll just shove some cake into their faces irl to shut them up.

I think what Vixen2 and some others are saying is, if you don't like the reaction you're getting towards something you love doing or wearing, then change it. You can't change or control people's reaction or behaviour towards you. Similarly, you have every right to keep doing/wearing what you want. But you can change other things to minimise or control the situation somewhat. A poster above suggested instead of meeting these men at bars/night clubs, meet them at cafes during the day.

Excuse me, but where's the accountability for the guy who clearly is a predator?

Where's the accountability for such atrocious behavior from guys?

Why are so many stupid fuck bitches in this thread ignoring this bit and basically giving the guy the green light and putting all accountability on the woman? It's one thing to tell a woman just to pay attention better and basically think like a man if she wants to curb any potential asshat behavior. However, telling her to change and it's her responsibility to curb unwanted, gross behavior is fucking bullshit.

You all are enablers and disgusting people who will never, ever get why this is a problem because you ARE a part of the problem.

It's so fucking sad when WOMEN sit here and make excuses for such shitty behavior. You silly bitches DO realize we're raising generations of tacky, ill mannered assholes, right? How about we hold them accountable, not the woman, who's getting harassed for existing. Those of you who shrug it off like she should know better CLEARLY have never gotten unwanted, unwarranted attention from skeezy guys.

Hell, even the OP is sucked into this mentality a tad because she came here, assuming it was her appearance/makeup and body language that's giving these fools the green light. It's not a woman's fault, in this day and age of thirsty, cro magnon thinking boys, think any sort of attention of ANY kind from a woman means she's dtf. That's all this is.

I mean really, I was out shopping a few months back and some guy passes me in the store, says a cordial "hi," like some do when they pass someone.
I replied "hi" back without stopping and continue shopping.

That fucker immediately turns and starts following me, asking me my name, if I have a boyfriend, etc. THIRSTY.

All I fucking said was "hi" out of politeness.
The funny thing is had I ignored him, I'd been perceived as a cold bitch. Not that I care, but in situations like this, women just cannot win. If you're too friendly, you're asking for it, but if you hold your ground, you're a bitch.

Some of you need to open your eyes, and some of these guys here need to be treated like gross pieces of meat for them to even begin to fathom what it's like being a female in these situations. You do not go around on a daily basis, essentially being preyed upon by the other gender in some way, shape, or form. I gotta love it when guys pipe up because they just proceed to spout of sheer ignorance that just proves how oblivious they are to anything around them in their place of privilege.

And the women who excuse it, fucking disgusting. You're part of the problem against your own gender. Talk about taking a few steps back every time you open your mouths. Thanks for that.

Keep using the lipstick. It's a fail safe to weed out the douchebags.

It'll help you realize greatness when you meet a man who stares into your eyes and wants to probe your higher self. Instead of those who just want to probe you. (See what I did there).

Something else to consider, OP, if you come off as too "friendly" or have an "innocent" vibe, this attracts the creeper ass weirdos like whoa. They seem to see that as weakness/something to manipulate to their advantage. Sadly, there are guys out there who zero in on that like crazy. They think/know they can essentially "groom" this female into getting what he wants from her.

Overall, it's just sad that women, as a whole, can't go out and about on a daily basis without having to worry about stupid shit like this.

"Is what I'm wearing okay?"
"Is my makeup too suggestive?"
"Am I smiling too much?"
"Is this percieved in some twisted way where he thinks he can just fuck me?"
"I'm going out alone, do I have my pepper spray?"


You can bet your ass guys don't give any of this a second thought before they leave the house.

Lawdy, to add to the tales of wtfery in this thread-

Walking to my car earlier, and as I close the door, I hear "excuse me!" I'm thinking it's a panhandler or some shit, so I keep my door closed and take a look. It's some young dude. He seemed harmless, was just holding his phone and keys, so I opened my door a tad and acknowledged him.

"What's your name?"
....why?
"What are you doing tomorrow?"
...working.
"Well when do you get off of work?"
I work all day. (proceeded to close my door).


...I have no idea where this guy came from. He looked kinda young, so I'm guessing early to mid 20s. It was really freaking bizarre. Was he at his car? Did he follow me out of the store? What the hell? Here, let's walk up on this girl as she's getting in her car and immediately ask her name and what she's doing the next day.

—?

WHO is telling these guys this is okay or even normal? I can't fault him for trying, but dude, that's not how it works.

It's like when I was at In n Out awhile back. I'd just gotten off of work and was wearing my very obvious uniform. Some kid, who was sitting across the restaurant, comes over and sits next to me where I'm waiting on my food. At least he started off with small talk and the like. I was polite and patient because I didn't want to discourage him having the balls to approach me like that. I don't even think he got as far as asking me out, but I essentially turned him down/shut things down just as I got my food.

But again, running up to some girl who doesn't even know you and just word vomit is just odd to me. Guys like this wonder why they get rejected. :/

As for my attire tonight- jeans and a t-shirt. Have NO idea what compelled this guy to just run up on me like that.

Guys, don't run up on a girl and start asking her personal information. You're still a stranger.