brianafay
@brianafay
19 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius
Comments: 2454 · Posts: 30581 · Topics: 372
I'm a Stone Cold Bitch (Page 2)
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*back to Tubby's defense that it's not a defense mechanism*
HA!
*shakes head*
thanks so much everyone. i'm feeling almost human. also i think just talking about it with the fish has helped a lot. i so totally blindsided him tho 😢
what pandora said is what i fear. the notion that i would continue being like this and knowing that it would eventually chase him away is exactly what i don't want. but again, can't emote more than what i got. on the upside though, he damn near forces me to share my inner reflections so i believe that i'll relearn how to be head-over-heels by dialoging alone. it helps me realize what my head is telling my heart.
overall though, i think the issue is one of ease. i realized it in talking to him earlier that there's nothing "wrong." there's no real drama and no matter where i wade out to, there has yet to be a riptide.
in my past, there was always something to turn dRaMAoN and it was easier to tap into my feelings because the guy's assholishness was pulling it out of me. but this guy isn't an asshole. i don't know what to do with that and maybe i have taken it for granted. the fact that we get on so well and are of like mind should be enough to make me hot and heavy and yet, i tepid...or trepid...tepidly trepid?...eh...
*shakes head*
thanks so much everyone. i'm feeling almost human. also i think just talking about it with the fish has helped a lot. i so totally blindsided him tho 😢
what pandora said is what i fear. the notion that i would continue being like this and knowing that it would eventually chase him away is exactly what i don't want. but again, can't emote more than what i got. on the upside though, he damn near forces me to share my inner reflections so i believe that i'll relearn how to be head-over-heels by dialoging alone. it helps me realize what my head is telling my heart.
overall though, i think the issue is one of ease. i realized it in talking to him earlier that there's nothing "wrong." there's no real drama and no matter where i wade out to, there has yet to be a riptide.
in my past, there was always something to turn dRaMAoN and it was easier to tap into my feelings because the guy's assholishness was pulling it out of me. but this guy isn't an asshole. i don't know what to do with that and maybe i have taken it for granted. the fact that we get on so well and are of like mind should be enough to make me hot and heavy and yet, i tepid...or trepid...tepidly trepid?...eh...
Well, you already know I have committment issues, so you can take what I say with a grain of salt; HOWEVER, while I may f@ck up my own stuff, but as so many others, I can give better advice for someone else than myself.
With that being said, and me being a Tau as well as my Aries in Venus too - I get exactly what you are saying. I may not be able to articulate it exactly but I'll try. We (our society as a whole) are used to drama. If there is no drama then there is something wrong. When things are going swimmingly, then we are just waiting for the shoe to drop or anvil to fall (at least I am). It is difficult to just "be" and appreciate a positive relationship for what it is - positive. Also, if we are used to dealing with a $ $ holes, when one comes along that ISN'T then we try to "prod" it out of him, because we just "know he's gonna be an a $ $ at SOME time!" I mean, really. I also have control (pride) issues in respect to myself, so it makes it even more difficult for me to just "be" in a relationship, because I feel like the moment I give of myself completely (or as completely as I'm capable of) then they will have something "over" me and will use it against me in the future. I think that's just me though, in that respect, as I am that way with friendships too - I just am incapable of giving it all, I'm also in self preservation mode, maybe you are too Tubby? I remember a line that Angela Bassett said in "Waiting To Exhale" when she was sitting with Wesley Snipes and he was talking about his wife (paraphrasing), Angela said, "I remember when somebody used to love me like that too." When I think about that, I get a little sad, because (despite his flaws) my ex-fiance' (Libra) really did love me, but in the end, he did let me down.
With that being said, and me being a Tau as well as my Aries in Venus too - I get exactly what you are saying. I may not be able to articulate it exactly but I'll try. We (our society as a whole) are used to drama. If there is no drama then there is something wrong. When things are going swimmingly, then we are just waiting for the shoe to drop or anvil to fall (at least I am). It is difficult to just "be" and appreciate a positive relationship for what it is - positive. Also, if we are used to dealing with a $ $ holes, when one comes along that ISN'T then we try to "prod" it out of him, because we just "know he's gonna be an a $ $ at SOME time!" I mean, really. I also have control (pride) issues in respect to myself, so it makes it even more difficult for me to just "be" in a relationship, because I feel like the moment I give of myself completely (or as completely as I'm capable of) then they will have something "over" me and will use it against me in the future. I think that's just me though, in that respect, as I am that way with friendships too - I just am incapable of giving it all, I'm also in self preservation mode, maybe you are too Tubby? I remember a line that Angela Bassett said in "Waiting To Exhale" when she was sitting with Wesley Snipes and he was talking about his wife (paraphrasing), Angela said, "I remember when somebody used to love me like that too." When I think about that, I get a little sad, because (despite his flaws) my ex-fiance' (Libra) really did love me, but in the end, he did let me down.
i do think there is a self-preservation aspect to it...but with less open baggage. i'm not weepy about my exes nor do i fear them. i learned so much from them that it's really hard to not see the experiences as a total loss which is why i'm comfortable discussing them. but i do wish i had been smarter sooner and maybe that's what i'm trying to protect myself from...that "ride or die" nature of a taurus that makes us stay far too long.
i told him this morning that for me, given my past and my taurean nature, he must go first and he must learn to be comfortable with my plodding come along. but therein lies the contradiction. i want him to "go first," i want him to lead, but i want to maintain control.
i think he gets me conceptually and he knows that in a lot of ways, dating me means his being in a constant state of vulnerability (at least until i catch up) and no one likes being exposed. he expressed how he's worried i could crush him and typically, i'm the one who unwittingly moves myself in to that position so the longer im not in that state, the better...right?
where i'm at now is "safe" because where i've committed, i have yet to surrender. i think "surrender" for a taurus means that i've stopped bucking and have allowed myself to be mounted...the bull has found its rider. and for fucks sake, sue me for being cautious about whose nuts are on my backside.
i told him this morning that for me, given my past and my taurean nature, he must go first and he must learn to be comfortable with my plodding come along. but therein lies the contradiction. i want him to "go first," i want him to lead, but i want to maintain control.
i think he gets me conceptually and he knows that in a lot of ways, dating me means his being in a constant state of vulnerability (at least until i catch up) and no one likes being exposed. he expressed how he's worried i could crush him and typically, i'm the one who unwittingly moves myself in to that position so the longer im not in that state, the better...right?
where i'm at now is "safe" because where i've committed, i have yet to surrender. i think "surrender" for a taurus means that i've stopped bucking and have allowed myself to be mounted...the bull has found its rider. and for fucks sake, sue me for being cautious about whose nuts are on my backside.
*hard to see the experiences as a total loss
Nope, not gonna. It's good to be cautious about whose nuts are on your backside. *two hooves up in the air*
two hooves, all fours, cow tipped...however, whenever...eventually.
Definitely, the Water level is rising.
aw this is just warming my little heart.
😄 😄 😄
You are a soft-shelled taco Tubb.
McD's soft-serve ice cream. 🙂
McD's soft-serve ice cream. 🙂
😄
*runs through thread throwing ♥ *
spazz
OMG you're totally smiling over there getting giddy!!!!!
awwwwwwwwwwwwwww jesus this is so cute.
awwwwwwwwwwwwwww jesus this is so cute.
uhm...what part of "stone cold" is failing to translate here?
have yall not learned that this is it? there's no need to wear a masque when i'm willingly exposing myself.
THESE ARE MY NIPPLES!!!! there isn't another set of titties underneath.
sheesh
have yall not learned that this is it? there's no need to wear a masque when i'm willingly exposing myself.
THESE ARE MY NIPPLES!!!! there isn't another set of titties underneath.
sheesh
Posted by caligula
*hard to see the experiences as a total loss
It's NEVER a total loss. It's from bad experiences that we learn the most, whether it's friendships, work, etc. I ways lie to myself and think I want or could be like those women who just throw themselves into a relationship at the onset 150% , but at the end of the day, it's just not me! LOL. I'. Skeptical and grouchy!
As VB said, just be true to YOU! I think that's the only real thing to do. Obviously he's accepting things as status quo right now...who knows what the futue holds!
@ Bri - quit being cute 🙂
Yayyyy USC, agreed.
Posted by USCTaurusGalPosted by caligula
*hard to see the experiences as a total loss
It's NEVER a total loss. It's from bad experiences that we learn the most, whether it's friendships, work, etc. I ways lie to myself and think I want or could be like those women who just throw themselves into a relationship at the onset 150% , but at the end of the day, it's just not me! LOL. I'. Skeptical and grouchy!
As VB said, just be true to YOU! I think that's the only real thing to do. Obviously he's accepting things as status quo right now...who knows what the futue holds!
@ Bri - quit being cute 🙂click to expand
You firrrst 😉
Posted by brianafayPosted by USCTaurusGalPosted by caligula
*hard to see the experiences as a total loss
It's NEVER a total loss. It's from bad experiences that we learn the most, whether it's friendships, work, etc. I ways lie to myself and think I want or could be like those women who just throw themselves into a relationship at the onset 150% , but at the end of the day, it's just not me! LOL. I'. Skeptical and grouchy!
As VB said, just
be true to YOU! I think that's the only real thing to do. Obviously he's accepting things as status quo right now...who knows what the futue holds!
@ Bri - quit being cute 🙂
You firrrst 😉click to expand
LOL! Lil' Florida Brat!
THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN TITLED
STONE COLD DRAMA QUEEN
STONE COLD DRAMA QUEEN
^stop being a biddy
FUCKE YOU FOR ALWAYS BLAMING ARIES
Posted by caligula
who is she?
anyway, to my topic. i don't have emotions anymore. how do i find them? asking a libra and an aries is sorta redundant but beggars cant be choosers.
Posted by AAPosted by caligula
who is she?
anyway, to my topic. i don't have emotions anymore. how do i find them? asking a libra and an aries is sorta redundant but beggars cant be choosers.
Posted by AAPosted by caligula
who is she?
anyway, to my topic. i don't have emotions anymore. how do i find them? asking a libra and an aries is sorta redundant but beggars cant be choosers.
well i do secretly call him "catfish" 🙂
and yea, it's an odd dynamic. i think for a tauchick-piscesboi relationship to span the tests of time, the pisces will need to have some significant fire in his chart because we do push and where a bit of give from our partners is ideal, he can't be a pushover.
and AA, you're the one who blamed my aries moon for everything so FUCKAYOO!!!
and yea, it's an odd dynamic. i think for a tauchick-piscesboi relationship to span the tests of time, the pisces will need to have some significant fire in his chart because we do push and where a bit of give from our partners is ideal, he can't be a pushover.
and AA, you're the one who blamed my aries moon for everything so FUCKAYOO!!!
Posted by caligula
uhm...what part of "stone cold" is failing to translate here?
have yall not learned that this is it? there's no need to wear a masque when i'm willingly exposing myself.
THESE ARE MY NIPPLES!!!! there isn't another set of titties underneath.
sheesh
yes. i did say that.
ypu need an a aries b;oke caligual who will love you for all you are only and just admire you for what you are,.
caligula sum your point up in a sentence or two? iv'e read everything annd i'm still confused. your stone cold and he's emotional and senseitive? whats your point?
what can you expect? your tuarus with previous sign aries as moon? your a bit fucked big deal? any sadge with cap moon or aqua with cap moon or scorp with sadge moon is and always has been a walking contradiction i think.
anyway, what planet placement (asrtology speaking of course) would dictate love and elationships? is it venus? or mars?
caligula sum your point up in a sentence or two? iv'e read everything annd i'm still confused. your stone cold and he's emotional and senseitive? whats your point?
what can you expect? your tuarus with previous sign aries as moon? your a bit fucked big deal? any sadge with cap moon or aqua with cap moon or scorp with sadge moon is and always has been a walking contradiction i think.
anyway, what planet placement (asrtology speaking of course) would dictate love and elationships? is it venus? or mars?
what the!?!?
you're smoking a dub aren't you?
he's not "emotional and sensitive." it's less about him and more about me. the reality is, im AWESOME! so he should be totally in to me. but as for me...
i'm simply not a traditional chick. maybe it's in part cultural but i dont get "barbie." fuck that bitch. i don't understand weak women. i loathe myself when i succumb and yet, nature dictates that my role is secondary...the planets dictate it as well.
too much aries is bad for a chick. all that aside...
you naked yet?
you're smoking a dub aren't you?
he's not "emotional and sensitive." it's less about him and more about me. the reality is, im AWESOME! so he should be totally in to me. but as for me...
i'm simply not a traditional chick. maybe it's in part cultural but i dont get "barbie." fuck that bitch. i don't understand weak women. i loathe myself when i succumb and yet, nature dictates that my role is secondary...the planets dictate it as well.
too much aries is bad for a chick. all that aside...
you naked yet?
who sayas barbie is weak? she gets what she wants.
and you are traditional chick trust me. it's just that your not willing to give it up to a softy.
and you are traditional chick trust me. it's just that your not willing to give it up to a softy.
is this pisces fella yourseeing a blacky? cuz i know it means nothing really but it does really trust me. you said he;'s french once yes i see? french people are cowards caligula. thry lasted twop weeksd in the world war and surrendered. there spineless pussies and deserve to be raped and killed
blacky?
i'm guessing he's referring to race? that was my immediate perception anyway. heh... blacky. that's like saying darky or something. shit. may as well drop the n-bomb while you're at it, eh? no confusion there!
aswer the question ebony slut?
anyways. picsec fella sounds to me like the typical pisces who just doesn't seem to connect well
anyways. picsec fella sounds to me like the typical pisces who just doesn't seem to connect well
the ram is lucky that i'm fond of him and like seeing him nut in under 2 minutes. if that wasn't fun to watch, i'd so totally put my efoot up his eass.
lord, i need sleep.
lord, i need sleep.
ram as in me? 🙂 haha i can'r put a foot wrong with can i?
i enjoy foot up my bum, strange feeling
i enjoy foot up my bum, strange feeling
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